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Catalog (/hikki/)

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R: 0 / I: 0
srry if wrong board im a perpetual newfag it seems
does anyone know how to remedy persecutory delusions and things like that?
im an "involuntary" hikki
i cant go outside (not allowed and too scared to go against parents despite being an adult) and i feel like everyone wants me to kill myself and hates me/gets off on my suffering
i dont talk to anyone and dont have any friends irl or otherwise im mostly just scared of everyone and everything that isnt in my own daydream world like my interests
i cant get therapy or meds
any tips or am i screwed? i dont want to feel like this forever
thx
R: 18 / I: 6

hey!

I just found this board and couldn't feel more comfy navigating it. I'm honestly glad I found a semi-active /hikki/ board to scroll through too.

Most NEET boards I find are rlly slow or have gone defunct.

How's your day going anon?
When was the last time you went outside?
>I went outside for the first time in maybe like 5 weeks for the sole reason to get parts to fix my shitty laptop.
R: 172 / I: 66 (sticky)

Trans Mega Thread

Trans Mega Thread!

So, let's try something here.

Frequently a trans-related topic comes up in a thread here in /hikki/, and the thread will quickly get derailed by malicious comments or by the diversion in topic just taking over. There is clearly a lot of interest in discussing trans topics, as well as a lot of unwelcome interest in shutting them down. But they do tend to take over threads either way. So, while we figure out how to handle this from a moderation standpoint, I am going to make a trans discussion mega thread here to contain such conversations. This might end up being permanent. If you find that a thread makes you want to discuss a trans-related topic, make a post here instead.

Rules 6 and 7 are strictly enforced in this thread, and violations will result in longer bans. However, uncomfortable questions are also allowed within reason.

Also if a trans topic starts to derail a thread from now on we may delete those posts.

Also Sei is trans. So I might make some posts in here as well.

Update 11/04/2024: When the conversation in the trans thread veers into whether transness is even a thing that exists, that will be considered an attempt at derailment. This thread isn't for you. It is specifically a containment thread for people who want to talk about transness from the starting assumption that the topic itself and the kind of identity it discusses is valid. Please keep that in mind.
R: 26 / I: 15

Draw your room

Could be a floorplan, 1st person, or anything
R: 5 / I: 1
oh my god i start getting my GED tmrw and i think i have to go in person… oh my god i was not prepared for that plot twist fuck oh my god !!! i haven't left my house in literally two years. exposure therapy i guess maybe so this is a good thing but i am stressed out at this and i'm breaking out in acne and now i look absolutely repulsive and a monster but i do not care about that !!! i need help on how to maintain composure and not go into a panic attack in public any tips anything just a single word like nice something please pls plsp ls
R: 4 / I: 1

Community

I have a question: would anyone here be interested in making a small group chat or group somewhere (could be discord, Skype, etc) with other similar people to vent and talk about interests away from all the incel/woman talk? I'm sick of talking to people online who just want to talk about women, it gets boring and gay. I was a bit confused about the rules on here around discord stuff, but my discord is dukkhafriend123. I'm a neet from Brisbane, Aus. I also play guitar and would be interested in making stuff maybe with people.
R: 45 / I: 13
To be hikkikomori is one of the highest forms of hedonism and selfishness. Especially if you rely on parents or flatmates for financial aid.

Some might contest that being a shut-in need isn't a conscious choice, that it's a result of environmental circumstances and mental illness, yet I still see people here who romanticise the lifestyle.

For a good few years, I have followed the culture of this board and others like it. I have seen the various IRC channels, discords and skype groups that have originated from this place, and I have come to the conclusion that this board ultimately promotes an anti-social attitude instead of discouraging and helping people abstain from it.

Most of you are lazy and are attempting to rationalise a piggish lifestyle.

Whaddaya think?
R: 110 / I: 60

essential and ideal tech for NEET & HIKI

must have and ideal tech setup for neets and hiki.
to start things off, id have to say
-desktop PC
-backup HDD or SSD
-laptop
-2nd monitor for laptop
-CRT for retro games and films
-2nd computer or 2nd laptop for use as media server
-minifridge
-comfortable chair or recliner
-VR
-steam deck
-decent speakers
-mechanical keyboard thatll last
-headphones
R: 40 / I: 18
I've been lurking here for a real long time but I finally decided to post because I think people here might understand my feelings. I want to make friends, but everyone online (and offline in the past) is so well adjusted and on track and sociable!! it makes me feel isolated and lonely !! if anyone sees this please tell me about your day or just say anything cool you know (this isn't me saying filler words I mean it)
R: 9 / I: 5

Do you speak often?

Not even referring to having deep conversations with people, just talking about opening your mouth and speaking a few words.

I remember when I lived with my dad I could probably go days without uttering anything. We both spent 90% of our time on our PCs and had quite a silent agreement to not disturb each other, talking more over text messages when we needed than in-person.
It was quite comfortable even if it was probably when I was at my lowest mentally. weird thing to miss.
Do you talk with people on voice chats? Have any pets to talk to? Cats are very good listeners.
R: 76 / I: 31
Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.

For example, I saw someone a while back on a Discord server and they're probably the only person who shares the same interests on the server as I do. I can't get them out of my head and am constantly thinking about doing stuff together. I've got a circle of friends already, but I just feel some sort of a special connection (?) to them. Am I becoming a creep or something?
R: 10 / I: 4
Theres genuinely something wrong with me being uncomfortable hanging out in group of people I know and being with people irl itself. There only one person that the only close friend irl I could go out with and others are that friend's friends. They're good and cool with me, but mostly times I used to hangout with that only friend and I was pretty satisfied with that. There always feeling of being left out while hanging with group, all of them talking to eachother well without my speak because mostly they talk about things they equally have interests in, except me, their conversation is filled with well social skills since all are extraverts with no problem in socialising. Only way I used to be while im around them it's looking at phone and be like background character. I could just not go out with them but being home is worse since I still live with parents. It always been like that from my childhood and recently I've been diagnosed with autism and confirmed to have lack of sociability so im scared of becoming mature knowing well that when I'll get my own place I'll shut myself in and it's possible that I can lose my only irl friend that have plans on moving to other country and only conversation with people I could have only online. Im such a retard buh.
R: 32 / I: 9

scizoid personality disorder.

just figured out I suffer from this shit, and it really explains a lot of the shit I went through and the hellish state is trapped in now. so I was wondering if any of you anons are suffering from the same shit?

but before it's asked no schizoid personality disorder is not related to schizophrenia.
R: 4 / I: 1
hey uboachan net ^^ sorry if like… the newgen is just oozing off of me. its been… so hard to find NEET spaces with people who like… have the same rancid brain chemistry as me, but is also still trying to recover + maintain the same hobbies, just have a healthier relationship with it.

i've never used a board-formatted site before but the uboa rules made me wanna take the leap!! (^ ^) hope everyone's having a better day today. i didn't do anything besides windowshop on aliexpress for figures and gba repos uwohhhhh … i always wanted to have a more avid collection of figures, standees, and games. seeing my purchase history made me realize that i do kind of have that a bit now, but it still doesn't bring me peace yet because everything else doesn't feel balanced in my life rn.

came a little more to my senses and trying to set goals + bloat out things i wanna get done in the day with habitica. hopefully with some more structure. baby steps until furthering education ig
R: 8 / I: 2
Am I allowed to shamelessly plug my NEET life blog here?
R: 27 / I: 12
do any of you guys clasp your hands together as you fall asleep to pretend someone else is there, holding your hand?
It's the only way I can fall asleep. I have a bunch of plushies I can hold too but even though I love them, holding my own hand is as close as I ever get.
R: 261 / I: 84
How old are you?

ADMIN NOTE: This discussion is OK again since the change to Rule #1.
ADMIN NOTE: Fuck sake don't post that you're under 18 in here, rules are different than the Discord.
R: 4 / I: 0
I have nowhere to go, not even on chans or on forums or any online communities I have a place to be. All my life I was left alone, cast out, I must be a glitch in the universe, or just an experiment made by a higher being of sentience. Thinking that the way my life turned out or was since I was born in order to be molded into something else by God is a nice thought but at the end of the day I know it's just cope.

Perhaps instead of grieving over a social existence that never existed I should use my energy to search for the innerworkings of existence. Both physically and digitally. Do you guys think that the Omnissiah exists in some form? Maybe I can find some form of him, if I search hard enough. But I barely have any of the energy I just talked about. Maybe I wasted mine and your time with this post. But ultimately every bad thing I've done wouldn't have happened if I never was.

Even if I do find a real life Adeptus Mechanicus cult, I'm sure even they wouldn't accept me as one of theirs, even though I'm the only human that's aware they're out there somewhere. Despite my grief, and my desires for social cohesion, it's nothing more than a prize on a stick, constantly being dangled in front of me by a laughing omnipotent being.
R: 8 / I: 3

Ideas on how to spend my time

So I was laid off today and received a hefty bonus from my boss in order to avoid a lawsuit. I've worked my ass off since I was 16 so I haven't had this much free time since I was a kid. I thought of playing videogames all day but I do that everyday when I come home already, so what are some good ideas on this? I'm open to most things, but preferably something that's not long-term or doesn't involve buying tools, like learning how to sew or coding
R: 9 / I: 6

I need help/advice

So I made a cringe video as a joke years ago and it got viral, I get tons of hate because of it. I was never a good social person, I always had trouble getting along with people my age since elementary school. I don't know if I should let the hype for the video die (it's been like 3 years but people repost it) or make a youtube channel to come back at them and make the new video go viral so they forget the older one, I really hate the video it cringes me and I feel uncapable… like I feel the video being viral empowers the people that bullied me. Right now I am a NEET again as I finished doing something, I am unsure if I should get a job now or get a month of vacations… I think being a NEET worses my mental health since I don't get interaction with many people and I spend all the time online.
R: 18 / I: 3
Does anyone else here have Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD)? I was recently diagnosed but I know I've had it for a long time (I've been a hikki/NEET for most of my life, unfortunately.)

idk just screaming into the void for solidarity im tired
R: 3 / I: 0

hi

uuuuuhhhuuuh. Anyone here love fried by fluoride?..follow my tiwddar acc ghosthikki1164
R: 8 / I: 4
do any of you fantasize about the end of the world? even when I lose interest in all my other hobbies prepping and homesteading remain really alluring, something about imagining a scenario where I have control over my life.
R: 13 / I: 6

Glitch in The Matrix

Does anyone feel fundamentally different from other people?

Like there's an insurmountable wall separating you from everyone else that you won't ever be able to overcome. Even with all the riches and a perfect life on the surface there would still be distance.

Ever since I was a kid I was the "weird kid." At home I was an unwanted child. It really just feels like I'm not supposed to exist, but do anyway, as some glitch in the matrix. And all the forces in the universe are desperately trying to bug fix my existence.

I feel very little loyalty towards the world, humanity, or society.
R: 31 / I: 17

People..where ru guys now?..from 2019?

ive been on here since like 2017 to 2019 where id just browse the boards and sometimes ask about random things since it was like the lowest point of my life, but now i only see posts from years ago? what happened, why is this web so slow now? where are you all? if youve gotten better, good for you ^_^ !
R: 6 / I: 1
i feel bad for lurking in a thread like this, so i'll post this to feel better about myself
R: 2 / I: 1

Moved to new country; what do?

I was forced to move to a different country by my family and have lost pretty much everything. It's been at least 3 years since but it still feels like yesterday, the days become the same. I don't know any locations or people (apart from 2 friends I met at collage, but they're not too sociable), so I kinda just relive the same day over and over. I get that part of this whole thing is on me for not doing much but "Just go outside and meet people" is easier said than done. Should I go to clubs/bars etc.? I just want to meet people with similar interests but I don't want to look like a loser either. I get that I'm preaching to the choir here but I may as well get it off my chest.
Thanks.
R: 34 / I: 15
I missed out on everything as a kid. I was always left alone by my peers which fucked me up of any social skills in the long run. I still have trouble holding a conversation. Have you guys had any trouble as a kid? This extreme isolation happened from 3rd to 8th grade which was enough to cripple me possibly my whole life. Or what is left of it anyway. Nearly 6 years of my life consisted of going home from school and back. Every day. Never talk with anyone, not even with family. Just me and my thoughts from a young age

I don't want to be like those other anons who just vent out shit here, so I'll ask the question, have you guys went through something similar that had a damaging effect on you? I still feel bits of loneliness from it.

pic unrelated FLCL just makes me feel like shit
R: 7 / I: 1

Having to quit neethood.

Hi,I am 21 years old,I have been a neet for like a year,but that will have to get wrapped up soon.Technically I am still in education because
I am in my second year in university,but I stopped going from the beginning of the year.
My university is in another city and I live there with a friend,however my mother still thinks that I go to university.
I didn't want to go anymore due to anxiety,I have no social skills,never went outside besides the times that I was supposed to go,friends used to be mostly online.I got put under a lot of stress that gave me anxiety and it also gave me some really bad form of OCD that took over most of my life,soo I will be in a position where I will have to explain why I didn't pass the year,if I will be forced to show my student page it would show all the absences on my exams.
Was anybody in a situation like this one?
Also have you tried getting any jobs?I am in an IT major soo,I thought about trying to get a job in this field,but during this NEET time,I have not managed to do anything,my OCD gets worse during long periods of isolation and I have been having some delusions(or whatever they are),I tried going for walks and runs during the night and that helps somehow but getting a more normal lifestyle might be better,I think.
R: 17 / I: 2

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME

i want to break free from this whole isolating cycle, my room is a complete mess, i went out of it for a little bit and it was like a new layer of air was there, i see people on the internet, being happy toghether and knowing im alone i cant help but want it too, at the same time i just groan and close my computer, its like I want to self isolate but i dont at the same time? but then it will be hard because everyone will just jump on you i think, its very scary and id rather stay here now..
R: 68 / I: 20

My girlfriend is a NEET.

My girlfriend is a NEET.

She has had a few jobs in the past, but she has always had to leave due to mental health problems. She has been struggling with mental health problems ever since her teenage years. Specifically, she has BPD and depression. I can relate with many of her feelings and experiences, because I also struggle with depression. One thing I should mention is that we have only talked online; I will be meeting her in person for the first time very soon. I seek other opinions and perspectives.

If you are in a situation similar to her, how would you want someone to support you?

If you have been in a similar situation, how did it go?
R: 71 / I: 27

I HATE YOU ALL

I absolutely hate everyone here. You are all whiny babies who do mental gymnastics in order to justify your inaction. You need to grow up before it`s too late, BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION. Free yourselves from this desperation and torture and FIGHT against the cruel reality that surrounds you. BECAUSE. THERE. IS. NO. OTHER. OPTION!!!!!!!!!
R: 15 / I: 3

hikki

how the fuck do i talk to ppl irl (specifically at school)
R: 4 / I: 0
I lately noticed how little i leave room and how uncomfortable i get around people. is getting scary how much i despise the outside world. I feel trapped
outside but free at my room.
R: 173 / I: 39

Where is everyone?

I do not mean on this site but in general where are all the losers hanging out online now because all the imageboards are very slow and any of the bigger platforms are suffocating by censoring controversial opinions driving discussion of those topics away yet where is everyone?

ver the past 5 years it is like nearly every hikikomori realized that online communities for losers were not worth the drama or they killed themselves.
R: 6 / I: 1

Normies wants to retire not be a neet

Finding other neets to relate to feels impossible. On discord all I seem to find is normies wanting to “retire” it should be a separate distinction from “neet” I can’t fully explain this it’s hard to articulate do normies annoy you taking over neet spaces then turning it into another echo chamber of rules you have to follow socially? Even though they want to remove themselves from the rat race.
R: 155 / I: 52

questions for the NEETs

hi /n/, im curious about the NEETdom and wondering if you could answer some questions?

how long have you been a NEET?
was there a reason for you becoming a NEET?
what do you do all day?
what form of social interaction do you have, online and offline?
how often do you get outside, if at all?
do you live independently or with parents?
R: 8 / I: 2
bruh it all sucks ass i had a nervous breakdown because i couldnt find the fucking port for the fan controller on my new computer. im so fucking stressed all the time for no reason, my folks are really nice and all and im fine physically but i just for the life of me cannot be contented. every time i

get something cool or new or if i bake something or stuf like goddamnit i just cant help but worry that im going to break it or do it wrong or make it grimy or idk. like im a privileged mid class white kid but its genuinely crazy how anxious im getting like to the point of tears over shit that most people dont even have the privilege of owning jesus fuck help
R: 14 / I: 1

living with people brings me pain

Even knowing there's people in the same building as me makes it impossible to fully relax and be myself, and it kills any productivity. It feels so restricting.

How do you achieve complete isolation from humans?
R: 14 / I: 3

How do I deal with it.

I've been unemployed for about 3 months now because of my worsening chronic illness. Even though it wasn't really my choice, I still feel like a loser and a drain on the world. I'm still studying a bit and working on my programming skills, but I feel so lonely and isolated no matter what I do.
R: 4 / I: 0

Relapse

I'm a good kid, I'm a real good kid, but this one bad break fucking RUINED ME. Now I can't do shit, everything's shit, I AM SHIT. I can't write a paper to save my life. But I want to! I want to prove that I can! Let me do anything else please!

I have been cleaning my house, I've done the dishes everyday, done my laundry, done all this goody good nice stuff that I would usually ignore, plodding around looking for ANYTHING to do. Anything but that god-forsaken paper, cause I just can't do it. I feel like it's impossible, and each moment I'm just inching towards failing. I feel like this is unfair? How could this happen to me? IM A GOOD KID IM TELLING YOU. Stupid Friday, stupid weekend, stupid paper, I've tried to stay up on Sunday and Monday to do this, and I just gave up around 5 AM both times. I woke up today on Tuesday at 1 PM, And I still haven't done that paper. I know I'm turning back to how I was before, and I can't fight it, I'm too scared to go back, I wanna stay where it's safe, even though it hurts me in a way I don't understand. I can't be strong anymore.

I really messed up real bad this time. So someone just fucking AAIHUUGGHHH tell me the magic words, how can I fix myself before I turn back into something I don't like. I'm sorry.
R: 24 / I: 9

hey NEETS & hikkis what do you do to pass time?

i was wondering what kind of things have being a neet change in your life. What things did you learn? whats your list of things you wanna try? what did you try? has anything made you change an opinion you once strongly had? future plans changed? what do you mainly do with your time? Anything of that sorta thing.
R: 69 / I: 14
Anybody else here who used to frequent hikkichan?
It's closed now and I feel like I lost my home.
This is the only other place where I can maybe belong..
R: 0 / I: 0

migratory NEET

is anyone here a migratory NEET?
I find that my restlessness stops me from being able to stay in one place; even though chronic illness and money are always concerns that can limit whether or not moving is a good idea, i really can't stand staying in the same place for more then a few months. i did some thinking last night and realized i have lived in 15 different houses or apartments all over the country since 2019.. I just moved again last week and i'm already feeling very very restless. sometimes I go back to stay with my family, which can be peaceful, but eventually the usual home-life problems drive me away again.

how do you settle down? regardless of if i'm with someone else, a girl or a boy, friend or someone who likes me, wants to fuck me, whatever, i can't stand being around anyone, i always leave again trying to find something that feels right; i'm only happy when i'm in nature by myself.. so whenever i end up in a city again i guess that's when i get the craziest like this.
R: 2 / I: 1

why bother

just checked twt and saw that theres atleast 5 genocides going on,and ai art is rising,how is it people still have hopes for the future of humanaty and havent alredy turned to neets???
R: 1 / I: 0

Advice

Should I go back to the psychiatrist and get my medication?
R: 49 / I: 12

Self Harm

Anyone here do it? I used to cut myself open, just for the sake of it really, but I regret it a lot because the scars never faded and I'm covered in ugly lines that anyone would be able to tell are from self harming.

You may also post QTs cutting themselves up.
R: 2 / I: 0

odd attachments

does anyone else get intense attachments to ppl u dont even know??? like i feel like ik them better then anyone and have known them their entire life and maybe even am them but ive never even talked them once lol. the ppl i am refering to r captianhowdie, zombiebeatz2000/noriko and gerard way..
R: 3 / I: 2
post everytime you get neetshamed
got neetshamed today
R: 19 / I: 4
how do u make friends while a hikki? im not a hikki by choice, its by force since my illness' make it hard to go outside and im really lonely these days - 🥩
R: 2 / I: 0

hereditary hikki ?

so, i'm just assuming most people on here that don't live alone are housed (begrudgingly or not) by their family.
from what i read, it seems like this is always a major stressor and cause of strife, but this isn't the case for me, more like the way of life.
am i alone here in having asocial / avoidant parents who have just accepted it as the way to exist for themselves and their kin?
how do you break free of something like this, and still keep your bonds intact?
R: 7 / I: 3
How does anyone in this situation find it in them to seek help for mental health problems? I'm one of those long-term NEETs who can go outside very occasionally (think once every few weeks), mostly to stock up on bare necessities I need for the long-haul in isolation, but it exhausts me to no end.

To add to this, my already fragile mental health (generalised anxiety/clinical depressive disorders) has been deteriorating even more this past year than before, and now I can't even take care of those basic needs reliably anymore. I know the solution is to go back to my doctor or even see if my old therapist would see me again, but how does one find not only the courage, but the desire to seek out such serious and draining help when you can't even shower most days or hardly want to get out of bed? I used to imagine that I could go back anytime, because if I timed it to one of those days I had to go out anyway, it would be easier. But I've started relying on others like a fucking leech to bring back all the stuff I need for me sometimes. I'm probably moving one step closer to full unbroken isolation, and it sucks.

On any days where I feel "better" I prefer to ride the wave of that small high, and then I'm right back down where I started. I know that most of us losers here are stuck in similar cycles of inaction, because all we need to do is "just go to therapy and get a job lol", but it feels like I'm not going to break out of it, because I've been stuck in it so long that I don't even know what it means to "break out of it" now.

What do, /hikki/?
R: 13 / I: 2

Late sexual initiaion regrets

That's probably a bit of an unusual topic. Does anyone here also struggle with late sexual initiation in their lives?

I've been lonely for the most part of my life, up until early 30s due to a multitude of reasons.

For more context: i am a late-transitioning trans woman (i do actually pass and that's by standards of a pretty conservative central european country)

At school i struggled with impeded social skills and i was a moderately unattractive person at that time (in my opinion) - by either masculine or feminine standards of beauty.

I had a very little internal sense of gender back then and felt pretty much like a genderless entity, although my environment treated me like a dude, obviously.

Due to my general emasculation i was often badly mistreated and abused by male peers. It was a small, provincial school, full of people with very conservative and narrow mindsets. Girls were pretty traditional there and weren't interested in me, plus it was generally expected that i should initiate things, as a "man", while i was never the type to do so.

Later in life i have become extremely secluded and never completed any education beyond HS. This of course left a huge negative impact on my social life and skills.

With the life context out of the way - fast forward to 2023.

I managed to slowly improve my life, been making friends, my communication and social skills have become pretty average and normal, I'm not ridden by much anxiety.

But everytime my friends or even someone close to me tells their stories of their love life as teens and 20s I get very triggered and depressed because it makes me feel like an alien. It makes me feel like i missed a lot of normal teenage experience, and that time cannot be regained. It simply makes me feel worse.

At some point i used to think i was fine without it, being alone. But transition has changed my mind 180°. It has occurred to me that i didn't want relationships back then that much because i didn't like the prospect of playing the role of a man in them.

But in retrospect, why am i so bitter about it? Does anyone relate? What do you think?

Ps. I've been obsessively searching for related topics on the internet and checking statistics. I am now interested in any scientific research about late sexual initiation and its negative mental effects. So far I've been mostly finding stuff about early initiation which is the opposite of what i want. I'd be grateful for any interesting links.

Peace
R: 4 / I: 2
I am hikikomori and I used to get upset about it but then I tried to overcome agoraphobia and social anxiety only to discover I prefer being by myself.
There is nothing out there for me so I sit inside and listen to music and I feel very tranquil yet suicidal at the same time I think it is peak apathy. I have given up on myself and that is honestly ok with me I see life differently now and am gla I spent near a decade as a hikikoori.
I have had a lot of time to investigate thoughts and the world from reading and experience but have come to understand that there is no understanding and trying to do so will only lead you to the abyss.
Reason leads to pessimism and bleak existential despair because we are human and cannot cognize beyond what we can observe without building on top of many abstractions.
I might die or I might not and none of that matters unless I think it does but I did want to make this post to try encourage some other hikki not to improve as such but really think about everything.
If you do not desire a normalfag life why bother trying to gain one and if you do ask yourself why.
I took a knife to my watch and cut a sliver off as I hope that it may help someone else.
It can always get worse in life that is a certainty but also as the Buddhists say our desires bring us pain however we need to juggle well and not go to any extreme with ascetism and just throw our hands up whilst experiencing the wind brushing against our face and accept it as it is without any other added abstractions.
Mindfulness is important a lot of us we think far too much it causes much of our social anxiety also and it is not bad to think a lot but we have to realize our cognatize skills have become over extended and are useless do you understand what I mean? do you understand what I mean when I say that empiricism can never explain anything beyond an observation of what appears to be and a philosopher can never explain anything beyond a structure built from abstractions which are untestable?
We cannot know and the more you know the more you know that a universal theory or answer to life is out of our hands for it requires understanding every single moving part that exists and we will never know because we are limited that is a theme repeated throughout life.
We could birth a machine with a semblance of consciousness a meta human but no matter how "intelligent" it too would be trapped within the simulacrum from which it was constructed like ourselves and be unable to cognize beyond itself.

Life is such a strange thing. for now I am nearly convnced I exist and I may move onto an anime world or burn in despair I can only be uncertain so effectively within stasis.
Wishing for death whilst lacking the psychological means because the physical is there.
What is man?
R: 78 / I: 19

Meeting people online

How do you make online friends? Where did you meet yours? I'm so fucking lonely. I figured out I could ask here because none of you are going to give me shit advice like "go outside."
R: 6 / I: 2
Redpill me about 4chan
R: 33 / I: 12

Dissociation

Do you ever feel like you're passively observing your life, or that the physical world is no more real than the virtual one or the one in your head? Do you ever forget the meanings of the subjective or abstract, or stop understanding the purpose of normal human actions like saying words or putting food in themselves?
Is there anything specific that caused this for you? How long does it go on for, and how often does it happen? I remember a while back I nearly got hit by a car because it happened when I was in the middle of the road and I just stopped moving.
R: 5 / I: 1
I am so lost, after finishing highschool i'm just stuck in the same place, I never had any friends IRL, I don't go outside except when I need to do grocery shopping, i'm not a shy person but I can't find anyone who is similar to me, I live in a rural area. I don't have money to do anything and even if I start working it seems like i'll just do it to survive, I hate living in this shitty third world country. I struggle with depression, adhd and depersonalization, I had decent grades at school back then then it just all went shit. Passing my classes with straight Cs. After finish school i'm just stuck, I can't go to university. My family treats me shitty, I got bullied in middle school and in highschool I started not caring and my 4 whole years went into trash without having any friends. I just want advice from someone who is in same position as me.
R: 36 / I: 10

Homelessness and Wandering the States

Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. THe problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)
R: 1 / I: 1

Experiences with neurodivergence?

I'm not a hikki, but struggle with similar issues such as anxiety, isolation, alienation from others, loneliness etc… I can relate to a lot of people here. Because of some of my behaviour, I've started to wonder if I'm neurodivergent, possibly having autism or ADHD.

Some of these being:
- Hyperactive thoughts and restlesness due to it, and in this state going completely in an automatic mode
- Spacing out a lot, excessive daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming
- Sensory sensitiveness, mostly to noise and I often experience a sensory overload and a shut down
- Very limited interests, if I don't have internal motivation to do something, I'm completely disinterested in it and have an extremely hard time completing it
- Liking sameness and getting distressed and annoyed when it's disturbed
- Difficulty recognizing what I'm exactly feeling, same with my desires and needs
- Clumsiness, often bumping to objects, poor motor skills.
- Liking and preferring being alone

There's a lot still to figure out but that's something… I'd say I'm quite emotionally intelligent, people often say that I'm good at conversing and they like talking to me because of that (in writing but still), so that makes me doubt it.. I also learnt to speak normally and to write at a quite young age too with ease. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just imagining it all, trying to make excuses for my inadequacy and laziness…

I've noticed that there are many neurodivergent people around, so that's why I'm posting this here… I'm planning to read more about it, but if anyone would like, I'm interested in hearing others' thoughts about this and experiences with such. Feel free to vent here too.
R: 14 / I: 5
Is there an effective way to deal with harassment?

I got myself into a bad situation on social media, and it's making me want to isolate, or just fall back on old habits.
R: 2 / I: 1

I'm so broken

I wish I could go back and start over more than anything. Despite only leaving my house once a week I somehow still have some friends that invite me out for board games and stuff. But I can see the writing on the wall, I'm getting older, not quite hopeless yet but approaching hopeless. My 30s loom over me like a darkling plain, past approaching and unforgiving.

I have so much trouble just talking to people, even people I like, even people I've known for years. I have anxiety for days sometimes even a week leading up to hanging out with someone. I always have lists of things I want to do to try to improve but barely accomplish even a 10th of the things on them. In one part because of my aweful habit to procrastinate on everything even sleep, when sleep really should be my best friend.

Yet, in the other part I have crippling anxiety being around people almost universally. Only my mother manages to make me feel truly at ease and she'll be dead in a few decades and then it will just be me.

Why did it have to be like this? What can I even do? I've been depressed over not even getting to go to high school for the past half decade of my life once I realized far too late how important and formative the experience would have been. Instead I dropped out at the age of 17, and it took more years yet to realize how much of a fuck up that was.

I never got bullied by other children as an adolescent really, the problem was always the adults. Peg the weird kid as an autist and segregate him. That's all they ever did, segregated classes, segregated bus, segregated school programs, whole segregated schools and eventually solitary confinement for refusing to do schoolwork. I was never violent, just depressed and unwilling to move, what an offense to the people who were supposed to be there for me the most during some of the most important years of my life.

And now hear I am. Still terrified to go outside because it was conditioned into me to be terrified. I've since been diagnosed with PTSD from all this. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to relate and maintain the energy others do. I try but where others seem to get energized by social interaction it just exhausts me for days and weeks and throws me into spirals where all I can do is laze around and play old video games. Yet I need the interaction, and I need the motivation they have to get better while there's still time… thanks for reading my blog if you did uboanons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1V5CMJtkyk

https://youtu.be/yfSMOW3095k
R: 65 / I: 23

sickness

post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
R: 42 / I: 11

So you don't want to leave your comfy little quiet room? But you also want money?

I've been thinking about this for quite a long time. I'm a hikki and NEET, don't have an education and am disabled. What are some ways I could I get by when/if things go sour, or if I want to leave this lifestyle? I am probably too far gone already, but hopefully one of these can work for you. This topic gets discussed a lot in NEET/hikki communities, but I'm mentioning a lot stuff I don't see listed elsewhere. Don't believe anyone who tells you "bro you have to go out and work a job, sorry, that's life." Fuck that noise! Some of these are fully sustainable, some are risky, just for short-term cash, or a small amount of passive income. Some of these are kind of out there and and may not work well in practice.

(You'll want to read the first reply to this thread for a continuation, the body was way too long.)

>Pornographic artist/developer

Porn artists and porn game developers can make serious money through both commissions and Patreon. The more depraved/niche you're willing to do (gay, furry, scat etc.), the better the pay is. Porn games can also make a lot more money than just doing porn art.

>Boosting people, competitive vidya

I've done this when I was a GM Overwatch player, but I don't play that game anymore. With enough skill and time put in, you could sustain yourself completely with this. Hard part is getting a reputation at the beginning, you need to be patient. Should be smooth sailing from there, as long as major changes to the game don't fuck you up.

>Game cheat developer

Subscription private cheats. You can read and learn a lot about cheat development on forums like UnknownCheats. It's really not that hard; if you know C or C++, you're ready to get started. Cheat development is fun, too. Alternatively, use your undetected private cheat for boosting people more reliably.

>The Amazon affiliate program

This is a little complicated to explain here. It involves creating websites and SEO. You'll want to read this, it actually has some good information, explained better than I ever could: https://old.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/5mzpz6/in_2016_i_made_31615415_via_the_amazon_affiliate/

>Blogs

Just write content on shit you know about, then slap ads on the site. Doesn't pay much unless you get lucky.

>T-shirt designs

Make a bunch of t-shirt designs normalfags would want to buy, put them all up for sale online. Not a lot of money to be made here (couple hundred a month if you're lucky), but completely passive.

>Translation

There are online-only sites that pay you pretty decently for language translation. May be hard to get into.

>Teach English to Asian kids online

Don't need serious qualifications, just need to be good at English.

>Write other people's essays/papers

Surprisingly, this is legal. Don't know much else about it but I have heard you can make good money.

>Pretend to be a girl online

Obviously there is only so far you can go with this. As for how to exploit it for money, there are hundreds of different potential ways, use your imagination. You could probably even just… ask for money.

>Bug bounties

If you're a programmer, feeling confident and need money fast.

>Fan websites/wikis

As soon as a new game or other media series is announced, register and set up a fansite/wiki. Attract traffic and grow it and either put lots of ads on it, or possibly sell the site/domain. Very hit-or-miss, but read it worked for some people.

CONT. BELOW
R: 11 / I: 4
I've given up with my life and want to end it but I also want to end it as well for a fuck ton of over people what do?

[spoiler] Thinking about blowing up a crowded subway car or something.
R: 28 / I: 21

Relatable characters

What works depict hikikomori/shut-in characters that you found relatable?
R: 7 / I: 7

Fear of isolation

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm scared to live on my own. My situation could not end with me being labeled a NEET, exactly- after graduating college, my parents let me continue living with them. I fell out of contact with all of the friends I knew in university. It's been seven years since I left high school, seven since I dated or really made any meaningful connections with anyone. I work a shitty part time job that leaves me with no energy to be social. Trying to help around the house more, but I feel like such a disappointment, barely knowing how to pay bills, clean, unable to really accomplish anything.

All I can do is lay in bed and play games. That I can't fuck up, at least. I'm grateful everyday to have these resources and not be homeless, but I'm terrified of the thought that my parents could die someday, and I'd be left alone, unable to survive. Does anyone else live with this fear, losing your caretaker? How do you deal with it?
R: 19 / I: 5
Is anyone else sad when their posts get no replies? I don't mean here but on bigger sites. I'm kinda lonely.
R: 3 / I: 0

NEETcave

Hey uboachan, I'm trying to do an art project on NEETcaves and coming to the end of my search but figured it would be good to get in some diversity from the sites I use. Anyway I am trying to get an art gallery up and running displaying NEETrooms + thoughts and feelings from NEETs. If you would like to help it would take a few minuets and you can find a link to the google form here https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1TjcxnVdl_cAk7cPTjgzzS2H8TZz2HAQ6dWw2_whsSMM it’s editable so you can edit or withdraw your submission whenever, if you are interested but don’t wanna sign into google feel free to email me at connectedculturesociety@gmail.com and I can copy paste the stuff your way or feel free to poke my brain about anything else.

Thanks for reading, hope you lot have a good one.
R: 8 / I: 1

Venting I guess

I genuinely don't know how to connect with people anymore. They always say making online friends is an easy option, but I can't even bring myself to digitally chat to anyone about my interests. Even posting this is taking up a lot of nerve for me. Nearly graduating college, and I haven't made a singular friend in university. My classmates are either arrogant, rich kids or pretentious know-it-alls. I don't know what I wanna do once I graduate. Probably get a job and earn some money. It's kinda pathetic to say that I wanna earn enough so I could afford seeing a therapist. Therapy is so expensive here, I haven't even had an actual medical check-up in years. And not to be that guy who self-diagnoses mental illness, but I think there is something up with me that can't be just chalked up to "introversion". I want really do wanna make friends, but at the same time, I feel detached and disconnected from everyone. I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.

I made one online friend, and that was because I was so fucking desperate and possibly manic that I messaged them first. Haven't been close with them recently. Now, I still wanna talk to them, but I don't want to bring them down with my bullshit depressing nonsense. My cousins keep inviting me to go out and I'm grateful for them. But, I can't help feeling like a charity case. I know full well there's some pity there, and that my parents asked them to hang out with me. Likely because they were that worried I was a piece of shit loner. I don't wanna come off as being completely sad, I feel kinda okay actually, it's just it feels like I'm just floating by directionless, making no impact on anything or anyone.
R: 8 / I: 3

So what are your days like?

I guess I've been a "Hikikomori" since about about December, after having a constant struggle with my anxiety and depression which led to me dropping out of school, I'm currently looking for a job but for the past months have pretty much been a NEET. What I'm wondering are your days usually like? Do you have a schedule? If you have mental issues what helps you cope? Just curious
R: 25 / I: 10
Who else here has a positive or at least neutral view/outlook on hikki/neetdom? It seems like most discussion in hikki/neet communities are pessimistic these days and was wondering how many here view their situation positively and possibly discuss the positive side here.

I just don't like people. Being able to stay in my comfy house and relax all day is a godsend. I wouldn't gain anything from waging or moving out. I have a lot more time to myself and I'm way happier than most people I would say.
R: 11 / I: 8

greetings

listening to time by pink floyd good night anons, i wish a very very nice night and sweet dreams
draw made it by me: PURRanon
R: 40 / I: 6

Embarassing Past

How do you deal with an embarrassing past?
Also, share your embarrassing past. None will beat mine.

Humiliation is hard to overcome because I feel like I'm a trash human being, I'm constantly afraid that people will see my past in the afterlife and see all the humiliating things that happened to me and cringe. I can't be friends with them because I feel unworthy of their friendship.

I was a special ed student at 5 years old, spent all my youth with disabled people, they would lock me up in a padded room with no light when I misbehaved anyhow or didn't listen to the teacher.
I went to normal school after that and the teacher refused to let me use the bathroom, I peed my pants in front of the whole class and was bullied for 3 years over it.
I was bullied in 3 different schools because I had been sheltered and spoiled by my parents who thought they had a "special son".
I was beaten by bullies, isolated, humiliated, and had no friends for years.
I became bitter and angry and joined the chans, which fucked me up even more with gore videos and whatnot.
My parents left me to rot as a NEET for years to take care of my sisters and never paid attention to me.
I know my dad and mom hate me secretly and prefer my two sisters who are neurotypical.
I was an autistic retard, my whole youth. I can't overcome that and become someone I'm not. I will always be a retard.
R: 39 / I: 8

I miss the NEET life...

I miss the NEET life I had…

> Current life in an apartment with girlfriend

> Have a job

But I'm still not happy. I feel I don't have enough free time. If I'm not working I have too little time left to sit down and actually enjoy a game, and when I don't do that I have to invest time in my relationship, and when I'm not even doing that, I have responsibilities to take care of.

Even if I have a job, I do NOT have money for myself, at all. When I was a NEET all my money and time was only for me, myself, and I. I don`t wanna go to work, I wanna sit down on my ass and make games and play games, but this lifestlye is long gone, no longer available. I regret some life decisions I made, I really, really wish I could still be a NEET.

Best scenario would be: Keeping my gf, become a NEET again, but this is clearly impossible.

Have you ever experienced regret from no longer being a NEET?
R: 6 / I: 0

How do you cope with embarrassing yourself?

Don’t want to mention the specifics of what happened to me, but I fucked up without a doubt. How do you anons best deal with embarrassment? I feel like a child for stressing about this shit but I’ve never really had anyone to talk about this type of social stress.
R: 7 / I: 0

The limitations of self improvement

I'm beginning to believe that there is truly a hard set limit regarding how much we can truly improve ourselves.
I used to be a hikki, I didn't want to go outside, I watched anime and played video games all day, I took part in niche communities and hobbies and was generally a social outcast. Yet I had aspirations to get a slice of a regular life, a slice with friends and girls like you'd see in your SOLs, and so I did it.
Throughout all the odds and all the pain I forced myself to go out relatively frequently, I got the friends, I got the life I even got a girl for a short period of time. Sure I wasn't a chad or even a normie but for a long time I experienced true cyborgism, something I had worked towards for ages.
Yet for what? What has it brought me? I've never enjoyed it, I've never enjoyed socializing, hanging out, having a girlfriend, nothing. Even after I shed my anxiety all I was left with was a general distaste for socializing. Socializing has mostly brought me hardships and suffering I still experience today, and it just makes me think "why did I make myself do this for so long when I never enjoyed it?"
And it made me realize something. Of course I didn't enjoy it, it's simply not who I am. Simply not what I was built to enjoy. This extroversion, this social life, it's simply not for me. And yet I, and collectively a large amount of shut ins, had/have this illusion that being extroverted is something to aspire to, a self improvement goal. But it isn't, there are simply those built to have a normal social life and those who aren't. Not everyone can or even necessarily wants to have this social life, yet it's almost like we're brainwashed into thinking that it's an inherently better way of life than what we have now. There is a fine line between self improvement and being someone you're not.
Proper hygiene, cleanliness, passion to do anything, are all things that are self improvement, but being someone you're not, a normie, a cyborg a social individual is simply something you're born with or not, and I think accepting that reality is pretty important.
Sorry for the text dump, just getting that off my chest before I resume going back into full blown hikkism like days of yester year.
R: 18 / I: 5

Do you feel the inevitability of work creeping up on you?

Perhaps it's a stupid question, however having never worked a day in my life I feel this feeling is no different from the existential dread of the inevitability of growing old and dying. Just as if you're severely balding or have some kind of terminal illness, there is quite literally nothing one can do to prevent it. As of now I can only feel numb to the fact.

>Question: How can one manage to survive as a hikkikomori? Answer: Because one's food, clothing, and shelter are often assured regardless of situation. In today's society, as long as you're guaranteed the barest essentials, you can continue to live out your hollow existence indefinitely. I didn't realize it before, but in a way, being able to live as a hikkikomori is a luxury. Without the assurance of food, clothing, and shelter; unless you're prepared to die, there's no other choice but to work.
R: 16 / I: 7

Observations About Friendship

From my past experiences and casual observation, I came to a conclusion about why people have friends. There's two reasons: entertainment, and validation. I've seen a lot of this myself from my own friendships. I haven't had many, so I can list them all pretty easily.

Michael 1: I met him on the bus on my first day of kindergarten. He sat next to me and that was all it took to form some kind of bond between us. By some luck, we happened to have the same class for all of the pre-grade years. One time, I saw him talking to a girl for a long time during recess and started running around teasing him about it. At the end of the day I apologized and he started going on about wanting to marry her one day. Okay. As soon as first grade started, we were placed in different classrooms. I was worried about it and rightfully so. We immediately started talking way less. As soon as I moved that was the end of our relationship. There was little to no goodbye and I had no way of keeping in touch. Who knows if he remembers me.

Annie: Annie was another school friend I had before I moved. She's the only girl I have ever been real friends with. She had kind of childish tastes even for that age and made me play ring around the rosy with her. After a bunch of boys who I already didn't like started teasing me about it, I started giving her the cold shoulder and eventually she got pissed off at me. That was how our relationship was left off. There was no real conclusion. I still regret it, but here's the thing. It wouldn't have made any difference if I had left on good note with her. It's not like there's any way we could have stayed in touch. Phone numbers were beyond me at the time. Even then it would fizzle. It's just one of those totally inconsequential things.

Michael 2: Michael 2 is where things start getting more interesting. Michael lived across the street and he was an odd character. He was a blond, classic Americana kind of boy, except he has this weird sadistic/violent streak in him. We would always play soccer together against each other's sisters and we would always win. He would then treat me to Gatorade after every game and the whole deal. He was obsessed with this wrestling game and naturally I wanted to play it with him just because of that. The more sociopathic side of him came out sometimes though. One time while he was riding his bike across the street and passing me, he flipped me off because he was mad about something. Another time he played mind games with me when I wanted to spend time with him. I just wanted to do what Michael was doing. Every I changed my mind to do what he was doing, he would change his mind.
Another time we were playing street hockey while I waited for my dad to get home from a business trip. When he did come, I wanted to go see him but Michael insisted that I keep playing. He started asking me if I cared about him and that kind of stuff and guilted me into playing for another three hours. Him and his sister broke my Hammock and he showed no remorse over it. He told me once that he believed in God, but that doesn't mean he likes him. The worst time though was when he dragged me outside of his house when it pouring outside and started kicking me around while rambling about how his soccer couch makes them practice in the rain and how I should man up. When we got back inside his mom got mad at him and when she was done lecturing, he forced me to play wrestling games with him some more and ordered that I only use special moves. Later on he had a lot of girlfriends one after another who were taller than him, which he was really insecure about. On the last day before I moved, he wanted to say something to me, but my parents pulled me aside to tell me something I already knew. By the time I went back outside, he was gone. Years later, my dad and I were driving around the old neighborhood, when we passed back around to Michael's house before leaving, he was standing there. I made sure to avoid eye contact. My dad told me later that he was wearing a baseball outfit and looked a bit surprised. Short, but totally ripped. Never saw him again.
R: 36 / I: 12
I'm not too sure this goes on this board but it feels like it'd fit here more than Off-topic.

Anyway, does anyone here have an imaginary friend? Any kind, I think even tulpa sort of count. If so I'd love to hear stories even if it's childhood imaginary friends. More so I'm interested in how many NEETs and Hikkikomori have them and how it affects your day to day life.
R: 15 / I: 10

Bingo Night

Any winners?
R: 8 / I: 2

Programming Advice

Yoo

Im a neet too, a neet for many many years

I dont like to whine, not fond of self piety as its painfull and dangerous

Im prety good at avoiding reality with games, animes and random interests I cant keep for longer than a week

Life sucks but I cant fuck my family over with suicide. They arent the best but I cant do that.

Im 36 and despite being intelligent and talented with words , I have no skills, no degrees and no experience.

Nowadays ive been more and more unable to block reality as the rope is slowly tightened around my neck. Despair is starting to settle in and im looking for a way out of this shit.

Good thing is my parents might last for a few years and I can still train myself and try to get a job even when im so old.

I like the idea of learn programming and work at my own leasure apart from all human beings but, sadly, I often lose to my inconsistency and end up playing a game or watching animes he he

Im rly scared

But I wont give up without trying.

People make a living like this so I trust I can manage if I work hard, whichs the main point.

Im sure I will feel better once I start seeing some hope.

Having to deal with all this on my own is rly hard but id rather not worry anyone and pretend to be a happy idiot with this shit life.

Living with shame all my life I know it wont end soon hah

Posting here might be just as useless but if someone have positive and constructive sugestions id welcome them.
R: 0 / I: 0

privacy for a hikki

anybody ever have to go extremes in order to avoid stalker family members or those you live with who incessantly intrude upon your privacy? Especially when they do in fact do it then when you catch them they act as if they weren't doing it at all.

I %100 wish this was 2014 again when I'd get the entire place to myself for 9 hours/day.
R: 25 / I: 6
Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything? Usually I find it hard to relate to other people because they mention having a hobby, having "only one friend" or even a girlfriend. Well, I have neither of those.

I have a really hard time to start doing things because of this lack of motivation, but when I finally find something I like, I usually get bored or tired of doing it in like… 2 days or so. With friends, I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation. And the worst part is that whenever I feel like we're finally becoming friends or having a good relationship, I have no idea why but I start feeling uncomfortable around them at the point that I start avoiding them…

So, after a few years being a hikki, I finally got slightly motivated to find a way to move to Japan. I studied a bit and got a scholarship to study in a Japanese university. Well… It's been more than a year already, and after the first month here I stopped going to classes, made no friends and have no motivation to do anything at all again. I basically buy enough food for a few weeks, store everything inside the fridge (which is just next to my bed) and don't go out of the bed until I start feeling really hungry.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
R: 17 / I: 4

nearly 28, feeling melancolic

There's probably something fucked up about how I lead my life but I just couldnt afford to do what the rest of people do, I dont want things to be predictable… I lived as a hobo with people on the road or on my own for the last 4 years but now even this is becoming to seem shallow, I dont know what to do to not get bored by life… Sometimes I feel I should just start a revolution… I feel like I'm missing something to have a fulfilling life, maybe I should get a gf and start simping but no grill will want of a hobo who lives in a trailer and digs trash to eat and live…
R: 4 / I: 1

hikkichan

does anybody else remember hikkichan, ever so often I entertain the thought of somebody recreating/revamping it and giving us an entire imageboard. except I would much prefer it be an .onion than surface net
R: 4 / I: 0
I've never been able to work on account of my schizophrenia. I am on SSI, but it's not enough to get an apartment without sharing the rent. I recently got kicked out of the place I was staying because I failed to get my name on the lease before moving in. The apartment manager waited to tell me this was against the rules until I'd already been living there for 2 months.

Currently couch surfing waiting for her to let me come back, but it seems unlikely. The uncertainty and constant money problems make my condition worse and I don't see any end in sight because the only affordable option in America for me is Section 8 housing, which takes 5 to 10 years to get approved for and situated in a home.

Anyone else just in permanent limbo on account of disability and constant threat of homelessness? It feels inescapable
R: 3 / I: 0
>years since I've left high school
>mid 20s
>still haven't managed to move out
>extremely low on money

I know there's still hope, but its feeling pretty bleak right now… I'll never get the past 5+ years back which is what I want the most, my formative years. I can only move forward

Anybody here manage to finally move out recently after years of living with a parent/family? I'm trying to get out of here and I have a strong feeling it will vastly improve if I can distance myself from this place
R: 4 / I: 0
I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'm so lazy. It's a real obstacle in my life. There are things I want to do (they're not even obligations) and I just can't.
R: 17 / I: 0

NEETpride Magazine Vol. 1

I'm starting a NEETzine. Help me create the next one! https://neetpride.wordpress.com/2022/04/29/neetpride-magazine-volume-1/
R: 1 / I: 1

Advice

I never know what to do or say when talking to people, and it makes me stressed out, and so when I was very young I got a computer and became a neckbeard autist, not really talking to people. I have all kinds of shallow ideas but what I only really want something meaningful like a nice friend group or something. In both middle school and high school I missed out on that seishun life like in the anime, and for a moment, for a brief time I thought that maybe I could live like that for college. This should be my peak right? Everything should go down after this. My social discomfort, posture, health is worse and worse. Every relation with people makes me feel worse. I feel like whatever I choose to do will not make me happy.
R: 68 / I: 26
this week i had
R: 6 / I: 0

i gotta find a job

i'm nervous it's my first job and i have social anxiety
i don't want to go outside and interact with people
R: 48 / I: 11

Your ideal life

What would your life look like if you lived exactly the way you wanted to? This question is based on something that I recently thought of and I'm interested in seeing people's responses.
R: 12 / I: 5

How do you handle the loneliness of it?

In my early 20s I was a NEET for a few years before being forced to work. Back then i was a shy nerd and always had people wanting to hang out with me. Once i left neetdom I found it so hard to find companionship.

Fast forward 10 yrs later and here I am a year into neetdom again in my 30s and lonelier than ever. I was lonely before as a wagie but now its worse and I don't know how you long term neets do it.

I might have to leave the neet life and im not looking forward to it. I feel like i wasted so much time not making connections that I know having money and a job wont bring me any of it. I don't see the point going back to being a wagecuck cuz it wont fill t hat emptyness. I wish i stayed a neet back in my 20s and got a neet gf that feeling wasnt as strong as it was now.

IDK sorry for the rant
R: 220 / I: 69

How have you guys been doing?

I used to post here before but stopped after living a normal lifestyle, for a while atleast. I got fired and I've been jobless for like months now. My previous motivation to work on my personal projects and illustrations have all since diminished. I feel only apathy when playing games or watching stuff like I used to enjoy. Nowadays I just constantly press f5 on various image boards to pass time and listen to songs I've heard countless of times before already. Then I remembered this place and feel like I should share this here.

Please feel free to share your current situation here so we can feel alone togehter or some gay shit.
R: 113 / I: 28
What are your MBTI types, /hikki/ ?

I recommend taking a few different tests and understanding what each letter means. I'm also guessing that most people here are INxx

Some people discredit MBTI, but I think if you treat it a a rough guideline, it can offer some good insights to yourself and others.

INTP wasted-potential masterrace reporting in
R: 75 / I: 8
If I'm successful financially, I think I might create a NEET house, as a safe space where NEETs can move out of their parents house, become a virtuoso of what they're passionate about, and/or be counseled on how to actually succeed at life. Eventually though, they will have to either use what they've learned to get a job and move out, or contribute to the household (I suspect it'd mostly be the later, since it's the safer option).

What do you think? Can someone learn to not be a leech on society in an environment like this, or would this inevitably reinforce their dependence on others? Would you be comfortable moving to such a place full of NEET strangers, even if shit hit the fan?
R: 11 / I: 0

art

How would you recommend I start promoting myself so I can make money off selling custom art for people?
R: 5 / I: 1

/monkhikki/

Who here has achieved monk-tier hikkidom?
>i have made myself to be a walking wikipedia
>started working out and actually developed muscle
>my level of doucheness has risen to considerable levels
>Turns out looking down on people cures some of the anxiety
I still dont leave my house though, mainly because i dont have reasons to do so, i lost all my "friends" a long time ago and calling them to hang out now would be awkward (i dont even have money to go drinking) and i still get anxious as fuck when im outside (i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder)
And getting a job still looks impossible
R: 0 / I: 0

NEET Relapses

Oh…good, I still have my trip on hand.

Anyways, I feel like now would be a good time to post what's been going on with me, and ask something of this board. I'm aware I could potentially identify myself by revealing what I've been up to, but oh well. If you find me, you find me. But more to the point: I've become officially, completely disabled and a NEET after several years of successful reintegration into society and getting an Associate of Arts. Some of you might remember me and my medical mysteries. I'm all too chuffed to tell you that they've gotten way worse, to the point where I may now get referred to a geneticist on suspicions of genetic cellular disease. In essence, we fear whatever's going on with me may be something we can't catch with the average level of testing. If it is the disease we're thinking of, it means it's a progressive condition that you can only throw experimental treatments at to slow the progression of, and it's something I would potentially very likely pass on to my kids. My prognosis would be completely unknown and dependent on a lick and a prayer. Not the stuff you successfully hold down a career with.

On the upside, though, I have a good team of people helping me out on it, and I've got a girl I've been seeing that I really enjoy. She's also a disabled NEET, and I think we really see eye to eye on a lot of life priorities. It's really strange. I've had a renewed interest in living and moving forward ever since I fell for her.

However, the point remains that I am back where I was when I started posting here: mostly shut-in, tired, sick, and (allegedly) doing nothing to contribute to society. So I ask this of you all: How many of you have had on-and-off NEETdom? What do you do when you realize you're going to have to become NEET again, whether by life circumstances or your own sanity or whatever? And…well, I'm probably asking this to the wrong people, but how do you keep it together? I don't know how to enjoy my time as a NEET like I once did. It just all feels strange now. Is there any ways to make it easier to accept it?

Apologies if there's already a thread like this that I didn't see, I'm super groggy from my migraine medication.
R: 14 / I: 2
I was born poor and retarded, from earliest formed memories of social interactions, I've been shunned by everyone around me. My parents abandoned me, I'm unemployable, every doctor I spill my guts to just pretends I'm neurotypical and tries to get rid of me.
No matter where I go or what I do, humanity has already decided I'm a pariah.
I'm so exhausted, what did I do to deserve this?
R: 1 / I: 1

brainfog, apathy, neurosis and other typical symptoms

This is only a brief guide about what I gathered. To deeper knowledge of why I am saying this all, you'll to research on your own. This practices are designed to outcast most defficiencies known by mankind away, exceptuating only those given by genome. Whatever it be, only experience would give you a true appreciation about it:
>leave all diaries, inmediately
>leave grains: no wheat, corn or rice at all
>eat your foods within a reduced schedule, rather than through all the day long
>avoid starchy foods and red meats
>if not vegetarian, eat meats briefly: like once a week or two weeks
>the softest meats are white fish
>do you like nuts? disregard walnuts at least
>learn your ayurveda body type (dosha) and how to regulate it

If you want quick results, these are the shock therapies:
>fasting regularly (the body must slowly develop its ability to detox or adversities a.k.a "detox crisis" are to be faced. The same on mucusless diet.)
>colon enema
>HIIT exercise
>do not use domestic cooling/heating unless your body strictly requires so, due to some sickness or whatever else
>drink hot water, as much as it can be without harming your mouth
>use temazcalli
>try (your body may not be done for so, so just try) keto diet

To further understand it all, next readings are recommended:
>every single book by Arnold Ehret
>"The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity" by Dan Reid
>"Healing by Fasting" by Alexi Suvorin
>"The Power of Metabolism" by Frank Suarez
>"Grain Brain" by David Perlmutter
>"How I became young at sixty" by Horace Fletcher
>"Longevity diet" by Walter Longo
>"The cheese trap" by Neal Barnard
>"The Salt Fix" by James Nicolantonio
>"One meal a day" by Yoshinori Nagumo
>some books ABOUT CLEANSING by Andreas Moritz (the other ones I don't trust them much = up to you)
>"Lies my doctor told me" by Ken D. Berry
>"Flax oil as true aid against …" by Johanna Budwig
>"Lymphatic lessons" by Kelly Kennedy
>"The body has its reasons" by Therese Bertherat
>"The Wim Hof method" by Wim Hof

Synthetizing common ideas withhold by all these tomes you should have what school didn't taught about the easiest forms of medicine, enough to keep most chronic diseases at bay. It may require patience and watching out for detox crisis.
R: 51 / I: 18

i just dont know anymore

>Been a hikikomori for 11 years
>Been trying to recover for about 2 years now
>Failing
>I feel like i want to die

I fucking hate my life can anyone relate??.
R: 1 / I: 0
I'm in Asialand, and I still act as a hikkimori.

It's different, on tinder/bumble I'm popular and I have girls stay over, but I don't really feel like going out besides cycling or running.

Parties are exhausting, but it's nice, I have a group of friends here that try. Mostly from dating apps.

I always feel like I lacked the ability to make male friends easily, I did all the time back "home" which is USA, vs females.

So I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm a NEET, but the past few months I resigned work contracts, starting again in Jan. Typical IT/SDE.

So, have a picture. I'll post my travels and my thoughts time to time.
R: 6 / I: 2

Attention:

If your NEET lifestyle causes you to be active mostly indoors and/or at night, take vitamin D supplements if possible. Vitamin-deficiency-induced brain fog is no joke.
R: 15 / I: 8

bored

tell me how your neet day was
R: 5 / I: 1

awon

I wonder if I'm neet because I was hopelessly depressed and antisocial or I'm hopelessly depressed and antisocial because I always acted like a neet, even as a student.
either way I can't really talk to people anymore, I just have meltdown after meltdown when trying to do so
R: 13 / I: 9

Design your Hermit Home

You too can become a home designing hermit simply through playing this game.
Not sure if anyone really wants to take part but I thought it might be fun.

You can download it here: https://ryan-nein.itch.io/hermit-home-designer

It's simple:
1. Start designing
2. Share your designs here as you progress through the game
3. Reply to your own original/previous post so we can neatly see your designing skills

Notes:
- Sometimes creating, moving and deleting items will randomly affect your decor (an item placed above another item might randomly end up beneath it). Keep this in mind and try building slowly.
- The game at the end will allow you to revisit your designs so if you didn't screencap it, it isn't entirely lost.
- Closing the game will however delete all progress so be careful.

not the creator of this game btw, just a hiki who wanted to post and share it.
R: 3 / I: 3

Why am i so antisocial

Antisocial makes it seem voluntary. It's not. I turned down a new friend because I'm terrified of social interaction. I hate myself. I wish I could go out but I'm confined to myself and my stupid social anxiety. I couldn't even hold a job for the whole summer because it got to be too much.
R: 3 / I: 0
I truly do not believe that my future has any light at all. it's made itself very clear over the years that my parents just don't love me. they don't care or listen to me. They say it's unacceptable for me to ever be a NEET/live in their house much longer. I don't know what i'm going to do next. I deeply resent society and I'm not interested in working or doing studies. i dropped out when i was 16 with no graduation. i turn 19 in february. i'm not good at talking to others in real life nor do i desire it. the thing is i'm very talented at multiple things, and i love making art, i share it online and am also part of online artist communities, it's truly one thing that motivates me to live everyday to create and also to help others. But seeing the state of this world and how people like me are treated, it feels tiresome and neverending. I don't want to waste my potential but i am just not made for this shit. Who ever thought bringing offspring into this shit world [school, work, maybe family, die, repeat] was a good idea? Sorry for the depressing post. I just needed a place to write out these words. I think i just need to isolate myself more and ignore them entirely. It's a waste of energy to talk to them.
R: 97 / I: 27

Making money while being a hikikomori

Any hikkis here figure out a way to make money without leaving your room and going outside??.
R: 2 / I: 0
Just left my house after a year, it sucked and now I have to restart my streak.
R: 52 / I: 8
Any long-term / no experience NEETs want to share their stories? Or just your existence.

>23

>never had a job
>barely got through school
>haven't left the house in 5 months, haven't left the house for an actual reason in over 2 years
>haven't had a social life in 5 years
>No traumatic past
>no medical issues / disabilities
>not rich / privileged enough to justify or explain it
>not poor / struggling enough to be without internet, food, warmth, privacy

I'm in a really weird and shitty place at the moment. I'm constantly guilty, suicidal, apathetic, angry, scared, lonely, antisocial, bored, tired, and in a state of malaise.

I'm physically and mentally able. I can work, I can think, I can deal with people. Yet I'm a parasite.

No matter how much I try and work things out, no matter how obvious it may seem that I have all the tools I need, the only conclusion ends up being suicide. I'm not even a suicidal person, it would be a very difficult thing for me to do, I'm not sure if I even could, and for this reason doctors don't consider me to be suicidal. But it nonetheless feels like the path of least resistance compared to the inexplicably impossible and unmotivating prospect of shaping myself up and getting a job.

What paradoxically seems to make everything worse is that there's no apparent reason for how much of a worthless parasite I turned out to be, it's very dangerous to end up truly feeling like it's my destiny.

So here I am, stuck in this loop, wasting away.
R: 2 / I: 2
I will die alone.
R: 3 / I: 1
I blocked almost all imageboards, forums, porn sites, discord and youtube from my router, changed the password to a random one hard to type one, and scheduled an email to be sent to myself with the password one mont from now.

For three days I have been cut from using the internet as cheap entertainment. I wonder if I should have cut music streaming sites too.

Seems like I missed blocking this site but it doesn't seem too active anyway so I'm safe.

Manga and books are getting a bit stale. Went through four of each.

I don't know what I'm going to accomplish with this. I'm curious if anyone has done this nosurf/nofap/whatever thing. I don't really care for the outcome.
R: 8 / I: 1
I hate people who glorify pain and suffering and "hard work" at the expense of your own health, free time and happiness. Suffering doesn't make you deep, it's not meaningful, and most importantly it's not necessary. These people brag about working 13 hours a day just so that other people can see how much they can endure. From an outside perspective, they look stupid. If you can find shortcuts, why not try them?

The people who win at life are the ones who know how to enjoy it, and you just know that the martyrs are seething with jealousy. This is where their criticism comes from (mainly about freelancers but also some neets), that they are shallow, that they have it easy, or "why do they make money sitting on their ass while I put in hard work"? Well, tough luck I guess? You're not superior for having a shitty life.
R: 12 / I: 2
I'm curious, have any refugees from magicchan or /tower/ found their way here?
R: 2 / I: 0

I have failed

I have failed again it seems that I keep wasting a day away and then starting the work at the last moment, I have tried every reformation but it all makes it go worse I don't know what I can do to fix it, I dunno what gets into me in the day, I have no idea about why I made the decisions I made, what the fuck do I do? what the fuck can I do right now to ensure that I don't fuck up tomorrow morning? it's as if I am a different person, I really have no fucking idea anymore, everything I have tried has failed, I can't fucking give up.

I broke every vow I ever took over the past few years, I lied and lied whenever it was convenient

I was able to stop being a neet but I only ended up making my situation worse, I am trying to cover HS with homeschooling since I dropped out ages ago.

I have no idea what I should do I wish I was convinced in what I was doing but every fibre of my body wants to go back to being a neet, I have to cover up an years syllabus in 2-3 weeks if I don't wanna waste an year.
R: 28 / I: 8

How people misinterpret social anxiety

When I have to interact with people, quite often, they will find a way to misinterpret my anxiety. There are many misinterpretations, but they all seem to revolve around the other person involved. They think I must only be anxious because of them, not realizing that people with social anxiety are pretty much always anxious around people, except perhaps around their family members or a small group of friends. But around people they don't know, they will be anxious.

I have been accused of racism for being anxious around non-white people at my college's cafeteria, despite the fact that I get social anxiety around white people too. One time, a female counselor implied that I must be anxious around women, not understanding that I am anxious around men too. People have said thinks like "anon is bad at talking to girls" or "or anon gay?" but I am just bad at talking to people in general. Saying I'm "bad at talking to girls" implies that I'm good at talking to guys, which is not true.

The female counselor I saw sent me to a male counselor in the same counseling office place and I was anxious around him too. He seemed to take it personally and thought it was about him as an individual. Very unprofessional across the board. He also asked me about drugs and alcohol and I told him about my drinking, and so he thought I must be anxious because of drinking too often (it's the opposite: I drink too much to cope with anxiety, not the other way around).

Another time, someone invited me to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I was sleep-deprived and also still had social anxiety, because I always have it, and being in a situation where I had to serve people food and talk to them made it especially bad. The person who invited me implied that I was afraid of homeless people, even though they've seen how I act around other people.

A final example was how I was invited by my friend to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. They are extremely loud and outgoing and it was a little intimidating with all the questions and being put on the spot a few times. My friend thought I really enjoyed checking my phone, when in reality I was only doing it to avoid making eye contact or to cope with my extreme anxiety.

I don't get the impression that very many people truly understand what I'm going through, and these accusations make it even worse.

Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues? If so, what happened?
R: 32 / I: 10
Ever consider taking a vow of silence?

Like I get so tired of people calling me stupid or retarded… or just giving me *that* look. It would be so much easier to just shut up forever.
R: 5 / I: 0

Redpill me on self-improvement

By self-improvement I mean doing more than the basics (getting a job/moving out), non-essential things like having hobbies or a social life. If I start now I will be quite old-ish by the time I see results, and most people will be moving on to something else. I cannot fill the gaps in experience, just make try to catch up and pretend I'm not behind.
Why?
R: 11 / I: 2

Does anyone else get annoyed when normies complain about working?

They have no idea how lucky they are to have a job. I've been a hikki since 2013 (I'm 27 now) and it seems there's no way of getting out. I fully believe I will expire as a homeless dude without a penny to my name. What a life.
R: 93 / I: 26

Giving up on love

I wanna know if anyone here has completely given up on finding a partner. I feel like maybe accepting the forever alone lifestyle could bring some comfort and maybe happiness into my life. Maybe im too weird and fucked up, and giving up hope is the right thing to do. Thoughts?
R: 14 / I: 1
I think about it a lot. Normies look for help when they have mild anxiety/perceived worries and whatever they have is very easy to treat because their worries are baseless and the solution is usually "be positive and stop overthinking uwu". And then you have people like me, whose insecurities and reasons to worry are rooted in reality and confirmed every fucking day by other people. How are these people dealt with? "Be humble and accept that you're doomed to be a worthless retard"? No idea, I've sworn off seeking help but I'm beyond repair, I should be put down.
R: 10 / I: 1

Was It Meant to Be?

Have any of you ever thought that you were born to be a reclusive, socially inept hikki? I know I was, given my circumstances and mental health. The universe placed us within our own trapped minds and didn't spare a wink.

But hey, at least it's peaceful living like this.
R: 12 / I: 3

this quarantine is messing me up

>basically didn't leave my home during middle-school because bullying, depressed

>2~3 year of highschool were the best, actually made some friends and hang out with them


>got into college, was so motivated and happy

>my high school friends stop talking to me

>some only talk to me when they want something and when I try to talk to them they ignore me, so I don't know if they are my friends anymore


>start becoming lonely and depressed


>doesn't even have friends on the internet


>doing well in college but at the expense of my sanity


>my 18 birthday was during quarantine and I realised just 2 of my "friends" said something to me


>I live with my parents because mom and dad overprotective, don't allow me to do anything


>everyday it's getting worse, I just want to go to another world, anything that is better than this


>starts thinking the world is gonna end


>have not left my home in months


>started having social anxiety again


>stop watching/seeing news because whenever I see something about COVID I get a feeling that I'm going to die, so fuck it gonna do whatever… basically self destructive behavior
R: 3 / I: 1

a little bit of help

i was a neet at a certain point and i was put in a psychiatric hospital because of it, it didnt help at all and made my condition and my comfortableness with being in my room bad, what im saying is i cant be comfortable while in my room beause of my experinces.
R: 11 / I: 1
I'm sure many of you know this feel:

>Realize you need to go somewhere with your life or everything will end horribly when you least expect it to


>Attempt to get something done


>If not 5 minutes later, you are eventually hit by a varying intense level of depression while attempting to do whatever task you decided, as if by facing your life, you can no longer not face how you are feeling.


>end up going back to the computer to distract yourself from the pain after only getting 1 thing done if you are lucky.


For any former NEETs here, how the fuck did you get past this? I feel the more I force myself to endure the depression the more depressed I get and the harder it is to get shit done, as fucking pretentious edgelordriffic as that unintentionally sounds.
R: 23 / I: 10
Hello everybody, I just find this forum. It's been almost a year since I became a NEET. I tried for a few months to go to college but it did not work. I wonder what people like me think about the future. Do you think we can go on like this forever? Well, I have no ambition, and I think things will never change. Do you wanna change?
R: 129 / I: 41
what do you do when you are depressed?

OP cries under the bed
R: 2 / I: 0
Sometimes I have this feeling that I would have been a lot better off if I decided to drop out. From what I recall, majority of the times it wasn't all about learning and instead asserting your own dominance in the social hierarchy and social standing. Maybe even stooping down to someone elses level at the expense of your own self. There were also some social pressures and expectations I had to meet which screwed up with my productivity and learning since I was worrying most of the time. Which makes me come to think that isolating myself from all the nonsense and reprioritising would have been a better approach.
R: 2 / I: 0

A whole soup

I'm honestly shocked I've made it through this year so far and I haven't off'd myself for all the crap that's happened.

I'm at least thankful that I still have a job even with the pandemic happening but it's a job given to me by my own parent. The job itself which doesn't have permanency and doesn't even give me enough pay for me to properly live on my own which yeah, that means I still live with my parents.

Last year I ended up flinging my diploma due to not passing two courses within it and this year I haven't even been given any thumbs up in trying to finish that and even then I feel so tired of constant study for a job that I'm not 100% that I'd even be fine with for most of my life. Yet it feels that I've come this far with what I've learnt from there that it's the only way I can go here on out.

God and socially this year has been horrible to. My girlfriend for 3 years broke up with me after having visited her city 3 times before and feeling like something could actually happen. I loved her so dearly and even now I can barely get over her just, sobbing really thinking about it.

On top of that a social group I had been with for longer started calling me a pedo due to the age she was when we started dating, which is both none of their business and ultimately wrong since there was nothing like that involved and even if it was were not even in the bloody U.S. where there's rules like that, but regardless they kicked me out and threw me under the bus, making lies up about the ages and when it even started.

My only social solace has been in two small groups which may as well be full of the same kinds of people in here, NEET-like and in conditions close to that of hikkis. Not to mention in one of them there's a single person who drives attention to himself completely ignoring me passing me off as annoying and I just left that entire circle because of that… Just how the hell does one get out of this soup? I feel like going on I'm just going to rot away as some failure despite all the "success" I've had up to this point. I've lost the one person I truly loved and there's now a group of people that wish I never existed.

I'm sorry if this isn't something that fits into this board but… I just think after this year I'm just going to permanently be confined to a screen in a vein hope to find happiness.
R: 3 / I: 0
I'm just trapped in an endless swirling antlion pit of worthlessness, what do I do?

I've been socially isolated and excluded from having friends ever since I was a little kid because I have debilitating ADHD, depression, anxiety, autism ect.

After barely scraping through highschool, I managed to move out of my abusive parents' house into a shoddy bedroom rental in a house full of real creepy normie cis dudes. At this point I somehow managed to make a girlfriend online because we're both NEETs and after a couple years of dating and mailing my stuff to her house in boxes because moving services aren't affordable, and finally took a plane to move in with her.

We've lived together for about two years now and she's the light of my life and the only reason I haven't offed myself. But after two years, dozens of resumes, and the fucking ocean of spaghetti I've spilled trying to hand them out, I still can't find work.

Her parents are nice enough to let me live here rent free until I can find work, but I've just become such a parasite. I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard and the world refuses to acknowledge it. Help.
R: 3 / I: 0

Becoming even stupider

I've been a neet for 3 years, and my concentration and memory is dog shit now. I' m getting tired of this lifestyle, but it also feels impossible to move on. How can I study properly now? Or be trusted not to fuck up at work? I hate how I basically made myself retarded.

Even when I was in school I asked stupid questions/made stupid mistakes that would make people give me 'are you fucking stupid?' looks. They always say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but it's just lip service. I'm tired of people's judgement for being slow, especially if I'm around others and can't think properly because people make me so nervous. But I also want to do something worthwhile with my life.
R: 14 / I: 3
I developed an internet "addiction" and I can't get out of it. There are many issues that have piled up since I started to ignore them. How can I replace the internet with something productive?
R: 0 / I: 0

Anxiety

Not a NEET exactly but I grew up with anxiety issues because of an overbearing mother. I was feeling like I was getting better ever since I started college but the pandemic has made my issues worse because of having to take classes online which made me not able to focus well. I was also trying to get over my anxiety issues when talking to people.

I am thinking of taking a break but my mother wants me to take classes part time so I won't struggle. I am unsure about my major since the pandemic threw it in the gutter. I haven't picked my classes yet and feel like I'm wasting time and money. My mother is worried about me since I don't really leave home to exercise or anything since the pandemic has started and I am not taking care of myself as I should.

I do have friends but I only trust a few people in my life due to bullying, unpleasant experiences, and people not understanding me. Even then, my anxiety interferes with situations sometimes. I question or feel like I'm too shy to talk seriously to most of the people I meet online/irl. Most of the time, I put on a mask to hide how nervous I am.

I have a job interview today but I'm trying to have low expectations since I've struggled to find a job ever since I was laid off unfairly years ago. It's gonna be hard not to stutter. I'm mostly afraid of slipping into becoming a NEET because of struggling so much lately.
R: 26 / I: 4
How good/poor is your hygiene?
R: 21 / I: 1

NEET desires

Do you have any unusual aspirations that you did not have outside of NEETdom?

I have been getting some very strange longings to become a street artist. I've even been creating stencils and posters that I will never put up. I guess the optimistic viewpoint is that I've been released from wage slavery and now want to do something real and exciting with my life, but its never going to happen anyway because I'm too scared of the police so I mostly just sleep and kill myself.

I also want to wear a cloak and sword and go on a Hobbit style adventure, but…
R: 3 / I: 0
Recently i lost all my friends including internet ones too. So i've been feeling pretty frustrated. Usually i loved spending time on my own and denied people in meetings just because i changed my mind. But since my internet friend got a gf (we were tight about 3 years) , i argued with my the only one irl friend and worldwide known pandemic got to my hometown i (surprisingly) have nobody to share my feelings with. How to enjoy your own company without knowing that you always have a"pillow of safety" in the form of friends?
R: 8 / I: 2

Ego Death

Have any of you ever experienced ego death? It was such a terrifying but also very eye opening experience for me. I ended up going outside for the first time in a couple of years the day afterwards. Couldn't even get my own groceries, couldn't even get near the front door… I know it's not all simply solved now, I'm still going to have some issues, but for the first time in my life I finally feel grateful to be alive, and it's such an amazing feeling. I think I'm finally on the path to escaping this hellscape of agoraphobia.
R: 7 / I: 0

SSI, Sugardaddy, or Rope

officially back to neetdom after being fired recently, it was only a few months of shitty work. first job i've had in this new state in 3 years and dropped out of college 1 year ago.

wondering if my options above are really all i have left.

i found working on below-subpar wages for months on end, dealing with manic depression and mental instability from my mom's failing health and my father's abuse, dissociation-episodes from body dysmorphia, and stress/anger issues with customers isn't the life i want to keep dealing with.

my folks are adamant on kicking me out if i dont find a job again, but being a useless queer fuckwit with no skills and no goals besides reading manga and playing vidya online with peeps, aka being the lazy asshole im only ever gonna be, makes it hard to wanna find reasons to go back into wagecucking.

do i skip steps and just rope or try and just fail to get buxs from SSI or some shit?
R: 4 / I: 0

Hikikomori

>A Hikikomori on the other hand (abbreviated hikki) is someone who seals themselves inside their home and does not leave at all for any reason, generally for 6 months or more in the clinical definition. Some NEETs are hikikomoris, but not all hikikomoris are NEETs – for example, a hikikomori could work or take classes from home. Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties, and this can go hand in hand with the isolation often brought about by the NEET lifestyle.

This is incorrect i think we need to clear up this misconception all hikikomori are NEETs having a job or receiving an education means you are still apart of society. The Japanese government describes hikikomori 引きこもり as those who do not work do not go to school and isolate themselves in their parents house in their rooms for 6 months due to mainly social and cultural triggers related to Japanese society and while NEETs are global hikikomori is mostly only a Japanese problem and there are only a few true cases overseas in the west due to the cultural differences between the east and the west. Also the verb 引く has only one k, and 引く is the Japanese word for pull and hikikomori means to pull inward or (Acute Social Withdrawal)

Video by a gaijin living in Japan who has researched hikikomori.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdTZBw5WkeU

If you have a difference of opinion that is okay this thread is meant to be a civil debate thread so admin please do not lock this thread.
R: 6 / I: 3
I know this might be a little silly, but does anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki? I've tried joining discords and other places, but a lot of them feel so heavily occupied that it sets off social anxiety for me and I just can't talk.

It seems hard to find smaller places to make friends while still feeling comfortable. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips, thank you for reading.
R: 25 / I: 3

Why is it like this?

I was thinking about Youtubers, Twitch streamers and people who get paid for basically being on the internet and doing something that a monkey could.
These people could easily qualify as NEET, right? They spend up to 8 hours or more a day playing videogames or vlogging or something and most of their income comes from their fans.
Yet nobody really bats an eye at them other than the occasional angry dude that gets way too bent out of shape over people getting money from fans rather than employers. But with NEETs there's a higher level of stigma, telling them they're parasites and that they need to work on themselves and conform. Is the difference really as subtle as simply getting money? Or providing a service, even if it has little to no effect on society and the person's community?
What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?
Also have any NEETs here attempted this? Would you?
Is it viable? etc etc
R: 3 / I: 0

I was the luckiest man on earth

Around 10 years ago, I lived a very reclusive lifestyle and I was very miserable, I don't wanna go on details or to give away who I am, but something happened, something saved me from that, those years I worked hard on redoing my life, I got a job, a future, and became a better person, I had everything you could dream of that would make you happy, and more.
Now I lost all of it, and I'm scared I'll go back to how it was before, how do I go on? I'm not asking for back pats or pity, I just genuinely want to know how do you continue after losing everything.
I honestly want to, I am seeking professional help, and I try to stay focused at work, but nothing is working.
R: 2 / I: 0
is compassion contrasted by strength?
I'm too soft and that makes me feel weak
R: 7 / I: 2

rant

how can I not feel paranoid around others? I know very well how humans behave in a group. I know they hate virgins, failures, social inept people like me. I know they despise them, they are disgusted by them, they see them as useless and misfits, like dogs to kick or clowns to laugh at

I am not interested in learning trades or doing manual things. they are 100 times more digestible than doing office work but I am not passionate about em. I just want to learn them because they're not entirely boring and they make me feel useful.

I like art. acting, fooling around. music, maybe. not so much. singing serms better than learning an instrument, and dancing is rad

I'm no longer interested in fitness. martial arts are entertaining but I am too old to compete. they are a means to channel my frustration and my anger. fitness and combat sports give me a feeling of confidence and security. it doesn't matter that I lack character, that I feel vulnerable or useless, I rely on the excuse that I least I can fight. they don't make me strong, actually strong. I don't care about gaining strength or being a better fighter anymore. they don't work the way I want them to and change nothing. total waste of time

I resent everything and everyone. I hate that they know how to socialize better than me. I hate their confidence. I hate that they can belong so easily. I hate that they have more guts than me. I hate being a coward, a weakling, a fag. I hate being hated. I hate feeling threatened

hate and fear make me feel lonely, very lonely. I don't have to talk to others: they are wolves in sheepskin that at the first opportunity they have they are going to use my weaknesses against me and belittle me
It's not that I don't think they understand me, I'm not that hard to understand. I just don't think they're going to empathize at all

I wonder how I look from others' perspective
R: 4 / I: 0
so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?
R: 9 / I: 0

jobs for a Hikki

I have been hikki for about 5 months now and I am wondering what I can do to support my Hikki lifestyle. I just want to do something where I can live a basic life (internet, food/water, small living space). My only thing I require out of it is no human interaction in it besides online.
R: 0 / I: 0

Want to escape being a NEET

So I am a 19 year old neet. I have been thinking about what to do with my life and honestly after thinking it for a long time I thought that helping people with mental problems or anxieties like mine is what I want to do so I am going to start studying psychology. My problem is that every time I try to start something in my mind tells me I would fail so I just resort to helping people like this online like in other anonymous boards and stuff writing supportive messages for them and spending time with them to help them feel better. What tips can you guys give me to motivate myself to get out my house or even just leave this lifestyle?
R: 1 / I: 0
Do you guys ever go back to /n/ to reminisce?
I just did and found some posts I made back in 2012-4.

Give it a try and tell me what became of your past troubles and situations, please.
R: 8 / I: 0
Im a hikki in korea and my uighur neighbors dad wants to kill his daughter because I had sex with her.
R: 50 / I: 11
hey guise
what's the longest period you've been without a bath?
I haven't showered in 5 days, my record is 2 weeks
R: 12 / I: 1

vent

i hope this is ok, to rant here. i rarely make threads but i don't know. it's hard right now, so i am sorry. but damn.

i want a friend.

i want to know what it's like to be with someone that doesn't pity you; hasn't been stuck with you by order of a higher power; that's not in your family, and obligated by blood to make a weekly phone call; someone that genuinely wants to be around you. going out to eat, going to the movies, playing video games together, talking about your feelings, rabb.iting (?), sharing your writing, roleplaying, playing d&d. tagging each other in memes over twitter. i want someone to be with.

but i know i don't deserve it. i'm lazy. i'm rude to people on the internet just to make myself feel better. my breath stinks all the time, even though i brush and floss. i'm weak and ugly and stupid. i have disgusting fetishes. i'm boring, i know, i've never been able to hold a conversation. didn't even get bullied in high-school by the bullies because they know i wasn't meant for much but the part of shadow.

i'm sick of myself; i've been sick of myself since middle school. but i'm too cowardly to suicide, and i keep thinking things will get better.

and perhaps they will.

but i can't see myself making a friend the way i am. and no, this isn't me scouting for friends. this is just me unloading all my bullshit on a bunch of anonymous people that're probably going through the same thing, or worse.

i don't know. i want a friend to hold me and tell it's ok. but i'd be disgusted by anyone that wanted to get close to me.

i'm sorry.
R: 10 / I: 3
There are times you really can't stand the society you live in, you can't help but think most of the people close to you are lazy, evil, backwards, or simply plain retarded while you are the only one still sane.

There is nothing wrong about avoiding the people from your area when you can't stand them, being alone may be the only option when you are surrounded by primitive savages, remember the problem is not with you, it's just that you happen to live in the wrong place.
R: 19 / I: 4

Anybody here with CFS/ME?

Life story time
>Be 7 years ago
>18
>Have pretty OK life in front of me
>Suddenly start losing all motivation and sleeping more and more
>Be NEET for 3 years
>Finally get a part time job (cashier, though boss had me doing everything in the store)
>Start going to doctor thinking I was depressed
>2 years, 8 months of therapy, 25 different medications, $26,000 (after insurance) in doctor bills later
>At this point sleeping 16 hours a day and working the rest
>Occasionally dozing off during work and even while driving
>Doctor finally gives me CFS/ME diagnosis
>Tells me there's no treatment
>Gives me prescriptions for Adderall, Vyvanse, Concerta, Ritalin & Desoxyn
>They work great for a couple days before losing all effectiveness (even at max dose), takes over a month for tolerance to get back down
>Lose job after getting caught sleeping
>Apply for disability
>Govt says CFS/ME isn't real and I can still work (disability test was picking a pillow up, setting it on the floor, and then putting it back.)
>1 year later
>Still sleeping 16+ hours a day
>Using Desoxyn to get through any events (weddings, etc.)
I honestly have no idea what to do. I'm afraid to drive after having fallen asleep several times on the road. I've tried "resetting" my brain, to no avail. Hopefully, my parents will kick me out soon so I can just disappear.
R: 2 / I: 0
I got a job interview the guy that was interviewing me literally looked like a psychopath what do? job seems pretty chill but I mistakely gave him promises of quadrupling his business profits with no idea on how to do so. I actually applied for a position that I was a "overqualified" for but all I wanted was not work in the industry I was in which is horrible (construction in oil & gas). dude wanted me to pretty much automate certain parts of his business I also have no idea on how to do that. I think I brag too much in job interviews and fuck myself when I realize I have no idea on how to do things then get fired for not being able deliver.
R: 6 / I: 0

How do you make friends?

I just started uni a few months ago and I think after so many years of near social isolation from anyone but the few friends and family I did have I don't even know where to start anymore.
I haven't had a single meaningful conversation in two months and I haven't spoken to my room mate in over a week and I eat lunch alone every day. I feel like there's a brick wall between me and everyone else.
On top of all else I make an embarrassment of myself in a required public speaking class every week and now I'm more self conscious than ever.

It didn't really bother me to be alone before, living in a small rural town with few people I could relate to but now that there are so many people around me that even share similar interests to me its extremely overwhelming and I feel more alone than ever.
R: 8 / I: 0
i've never really been accustomed to normal conversation, and i suppose that's why what happened today happened. i was talking to one of my few friends and she sent me a website saying that it was her least favorite site. it was this page where AI makes images of people who don't actually exist, and i asked why didn't she like it, and she began to rant about how i always ask such questions, meaningless inquiries that add nothing to conversation, and i just felt like shit… she told me to stop acting like i didn't understand anything because she "knows i do." i didn't understand why she would hate that website, that's why i asked her. now we're at odds. it'll resolve soon, i'm sure, but i just feel like i did something wrong. i've always done this, and people always seem to get weary, even though i'm asking genuine questions. i feel like i'm trying to be kept down, but i don't want to be.

i just wanted to ask a question.
R: 14 / I: 3

I'm here to reach out!

Dear /hikki/

I wouldn't call myself a NEET since I have a job and go to college, but a lot of my friends from school don't really talk to me anymore, and I live in a small southern town where I don't really fit in. The only thing that really keeps me from feeling empty is a close long distance friend I've had for about 3 years now. She's gone to bed for tonight, so while browsing the web I came across this forum.

I looked at this board and I almost cried… I say almost because it's hard for me to cry anymore. A board of people, lonesome and in pain like she is, and at times like I am.

I know my words may be meaningless Hallmark nonsense you've heard a million times, but please keep trying. Keep trying to make friends. Keep trying to find your meaning in this otherwise meaningless existence, and find freedom in knowing it's meaning is for you to decide. Maybe I have no business posting here but my heart is telling me to reach out. Each and every one of you has potential to be something. I know it's hard, but try to find joy in every little victory. If you ask a girl out and get rejected, acknowledge your bravery. If you go for an interview and fail, correct what you did wrong and double down on what you know you did right. I'm just rambling now, and maybe I have no business commenting on your troubles, but it pains me to see lost souls with nowhere to turn, because I know how it feels. Please, if just one person hears me out, please try to have hope again. If anyone here needs someone to text to I've created a Discord account. Contact me at ApolloSanshiro #1110 on Discord.

Going to bed now. I'll check as soon as I can to see if anyone here has sent a friend request.

Best wishes to everyone,
ApolloSanshiro

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a qualified professional and I'm NOT substitute for a Suicide hotline or psychiatric professional. Please don't announce a planned suicide to me as I can't afford any legal liability.
R: 3 / I: 1
this is it bois sick of the trauma sick of thinking everyone hates me sick of having no point in my life. wake up every morning looking at where im at now and feeling nothing but anger and disgust. just need a nice discussion before i quit this shit and ascend
R: 10 / I: 4

birthday

today was my birthday, all i expected was a "happy birthday" and a hug from the ppl i like (mostly a girl i think is kinda cute), but i've hardly recived it.
please anons, give me happy birthdays and virtual hugs so i can fell a bit better this day
R: 3 / I: 1
What are some personal goals a hikki can have? What are some tangible goals one can have?
R: 7 / I: 1
What do you even do outside if you don't go to school, have friends to go out with or a job? What's the point of leaving your home?
What are fun things to do?
R: 1 / I: 0

Full hikki mental health

I know this is a bit of a touchy subject here, as some feel that if you interact online you're not a hikki, but for those of you that have had stints of total hikkidom and isolation, how was it?
Is it true the isolation makes you crazy? Do you regret it? Would you do it again if you could?
R: 3 / I: 0

Psychotic Disorders

Anyone else here have a psychotic disorder? I have psychotic depression; professionally diagnosed, of course. I often feel like I'm worth less than a grain of sand, and feel paranoid that demons are coming to get me and are conspiring to fuck up my life, and people are constantly laughing at and talking about me while on campus. I feel like my psychosis came before the depression, considering I've always been quite paranoid, and I didn't get really depressed until I was 15. I guess my psych sees the psychosis side of things as worse too, since I'm on an 80 mg antipsychotic and a 10 mg antidepressant.

I'm curious whether or not any of you NEETerinos, or anyone else lurking, I guess, have similar disorders.
R: 4 / I: 1
My 7 months of neetdom will end this september. Please help I'm scared, I don't want to go back.
R: 8 / I: 0

Terrible headaches

Hello fellows NEETs I have a very singular problem. My reason for not going outside as much and working is not anxiety or fear of the outside world, though I am indeed very shy and awkward and seldom socialize.
I've been interned into mental hospitals and the like because this kind of living is making me do things that are considered too strange and worrisome, I'ts driving me crazy.
Anyway, I have a strange problem, when I go outside for too long I get very painful headaches and I have to go home early, not normal headaches but something on another whole level. I've been to psychiatrists and psychologist and regular doctor and they find nothing wrong with me, they say it's a psychological reaction.
This problem has prevented me from having a job or just going grocery shopping with the family and I don't know what to do. I'm taking medication for it but it's not working at all.
Do you have any ideas of what I can do or do other NEETs here are NEET because of other particular reasons?
R: 2 / I: 0
How do you deal with the loneliness? Most boards I use for human interactions get very few posts a day but at the same time I don't fit in at "fast" places, either. I feel truly alone.
R: 5 / I: 3

Falling in love with fictional characters

Hello hikki,

I have been socially isolated for a long time now, I live with my parents and do nothing but take care of my little brothers and help around the house. I have never had a normal conversation with anyone outside of my family for a year now and I'm finding it increasingly hard to maintain proper conversations with my father or mother.

Anyways quite recently I played the Sly Cooper games on my PS3 in the basement and I couldn't help but to feel in love with the protagonist, call me a furfag all you want (I have never been involved with the furry fandom) but I'm not just turned on by Sly's looks, I feel an actual romantic and sexual relationship with him. I'm a virgin and never had a sexual relationship with anyone in my life.

Anyone else having serious romantic desires with fictional characters?
R: 23 / I: 3

Someone is making videos about this board

So awhile back I found Infinite Outlaw's video being linked in an interesting links thread on 8chan /hikki/. Since then I've noticed he makes a lot of videos related to the topic and recently has been linking to threads of this board and sometimes using our posts in videos. His most recent video is just a compilation of posts in a thread on here over some music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy4CdqcHwQw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeCSEeBlLhw
R: 51 / I: 7

Inner peace

Who here has found inner peace with themselves while being NEET or Hikikomori??.
R: 10 / I: 2
I feel like I'm the biggest loser on the planet. In my life I met many shy people that had trouble socializing but no one was ever even close to being on my level. I may not be the person with the most social anxiety on the planet but it wouldn't surprise me if I was in the top 100. I'm so awkward I can't even interact with my mother or my other family members. suicide might be a pussy move when there's a chance that your life will get better, but when you're like me it's the only reasonable thing to do. I don't know what comes after this life but if there's an hell I'm not afraid of going there. I doubt it could be much more painful than my current existence. At least there only god would judge me. I wouldn't have to deal with my family's stares and their opinions about me. I wouldn't have to deal with the shame that is my existence.
R: 3 / I: 0

Advice?

I'm having a hard time communicating with my best friends. (I only have a few but I'm fine with it) We also parted ways. (I moved to a different school because of reasons) and I really want to stay close to them. Online Messaging is the only contact I have to them.
What should I do?
R: 16 / I: 7

I really need help...

Hello, /hikki/.

For 2 years now, I've only went out the house for school, and even with school I don't hang out with people.

You see, I moved far away from my best friend. We were closer than peas in a pod, practically glued to each other.
We'd explore the city, have trips to the mall and explore abandoned areas in our school district.

Unfortunately, we had a falling out since I was an immature freshman, and took her for granted. I belittled her art skills and made fun of her obsession with a show. We made up, but I always felt guilty, she assured me I was alright, but due to circumstances that I can't share, I had to skip our exams, leave and move upstate, and never see her again.

Now, I've moved from Louisiana to New York, and 3rd-year high school bore no friendships for me, since I had so much regrets with how I treated her.
I couldn't be close to someone else after her, and I'd like some advice from you.
Please leave advice, Ubuu. I desperately need it.
R: 5 / I: 0

How to get the motivation to clean disgusting room

I'm sure most here have their own summer bug horror stories. Last summer (for example) I had a plastic container sitting around untampered with for god knows how long and when I opened it one day it had an entire thriving ecosystem inside it. My nose is broken so rotten food junk/fermented piss does not bother me at all but bugs drive me insane.
R: 10 / I: 1
I'm a peaceful and squeamish guy. I even feel sorry for killing bugs
even so, I took an interest in the army and the navy (I'm not a yank). there's something so cool about their disciplined and hard life, how those institutions can whip people without courage, without a purpouse, a goal, or a skill into shape. it truly is a beautiful thing to behold. I like how they harden mind and body just so average joes can face the unexpected. plus you learn cool things too, from survival techniques to self-defense and trades
and hey, paying you to learn all these things is great

still, I can't even think about myself harming someone else, and that's the biggest downside. it's pretty much what they train you for, too. are there any other similar careers that teach you similar values but don't revolve around harming others? I was thinking about becoming a fireman or a park ranger. similar enough?
R: 6 / I: 3
I don't know where to turn at this point so I'm just gonna post this here. Not even sure if it's on topic for this board but whatever.

I gave in to the waifu thing and have been in love with a fictional character and considered myself in a relationship with him for a little over three years. I had a tulpa of him which I'm unsure if he was around before or after I fell in love. He has since disappeared. It was due to something that happened but it's romantic melodrama. My issue is that I lived my life in a body with someone else, someone who I loved, trusted, and couldn't be without for three years. But I made a mistake and he disappeared.

I want him back in my life but I can't help but feel like it'd be impossible to separate our romantic relationship. I am currently with someone else and I honestly don't think I could ever go back to being with him in a relationship. But I want him back in my life…It's selfish considering I'm with the person who sort of was the catalyst to our relationship ending. It'd probably be hard for him.

I have no idea how to handle the situation if I even can get him to talk to me at all. I'm really just desperate at this point and have no idea who I'd turn to. My situation is very atypical. I just hope someone can give me advice of even just comfort me maybe.
R: 26 / I: 5
being alone for so long has stunted my ability to talk so much that i can barely construct full sentences in my head, let alone hold a conversation with anyone
R: 12 / I: 3
Happy Valentine's Day, Uboa-chan!
I'm a long-time lurker, first time poster,. I've told my sob-story a couple times on other -chans, only to get the usual “kys” response, so I decided to post here and see if any intellectuals feel like replying (or if anyone replies at all…)
At the age of 6, I was molested by my brother, and was quickly (forcefully) introduced to the world of sex from a very young age, only to be rejected by every girl I've ever been stupid enough to have feelings for. From my first grade crush, to all my cute coworkers, I'm almost 25, in the prime of my life, and am forced to watch happy, fruitful, loving relationships blossoming all around me, while all I get is my right hand and an internet connection.
To say that I used to get bullied in school would be an understatement. Elementary and Middle school were pretty miserable, but during my first year of high school, I made a friend (or so I thought). After about 3 or 4 months, a rumor spread around the school that I was gay, and this friend of mine tried to hook me up with a guy. I felt really bad turning the guy down, but this friend of mine, (and all his friends) got so pissed at me, that I was reported, and the teachers and administrators gave the students permission to bully me from then on. My parents didn't believe any of it and didn't do anything about it.
As for Elementary School, I'm like 85% sure there was a child trafficking ring going on behind my back. Every year was an event called the “School Sleepover” where kids would come to spend the night at the school to “play games and watch movies together”. They also apparently “Didn't have a sleepover every year” because it's a “potentially dangerous event” and that they “Needed approval from the school district”. However, I know for sure that each of my 4 siblings got to go at least twice and a friend of mine (who later became a pot-smoking, acid-dropping chad) got to go multiple times, and In 4th grade, he even got to 3rd base it with a girl who had a crush on me in a game of Truth or Dare. All this after my teacher threatened to expel me for asking when the sleepover would be. After the fact, when 10y/o Chad asked me why I didn't go, I said nobody told me, and when I asked what happened at the sleepover, he tuned bright red and said “I promised not to tell, and if I did tell, you would get extremely mad, and the whole school would get in a lot of trouble with the police.”
I won't bore you with my entire love-life (or lack thereof) but aside from a brief 3-month relationship with a fewhale, and a couple girls my parents didn't want me dating, my story is one you've surely all heard a thousand times before. Ask a girl out, get turned down, possibly get made fun of and publicly humiliated, and later see them bang the crap out of some other douche-bag.

All while this is going on, about 3 or 4 kids in my high school commit suicide (R.I.P.), and no one really seemed to care. I attempted suicide twice, and no one really noticed. I even got laughed at after the second attempt in high school for trying to sympathize with the dead kids. That got me sent to the principle's office where I had to basically threaten to shoot up the school just to not get expelled and sent to Juvy or a Nut House. All this combined with the fact that History was the only class I did well in led me to realize that Life is completely meaningless, and that love, sex, and reproduction are a luxury granted only to those deemed acceptable by society. Some people bang 10 people 20 times a week, and some people die as virgins. As for me, I was used twice, then thrown away like tissue paper. Like all the trillions of semen I've fired into my sheets over the years.

Oh well, raise your glass Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, and Adolf Hitler, and say Happy Valentine's Day to Me, Myself, and I.
R: 3 / I: 1

sam hyde here, internet's busiest music nerd

In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
If you can and want please share this post to communities which you think might me knowledgeable.

< this was crossposted from /ratanon/ and was also posted on lainchan I am op >
R: 30 / I: 12

Eating disorders and physical health

Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?

I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.

Being very thin has hurt my self confidence. Also, the only physical activities I like to do are walking and biking, I think this might also make me thin.

Also, this thread can be about general physical help too.
R: 0 / I: 0

NEET/Hikki with lifes? personal victories?

It's possible to have sort of a life being a hikki/neet. I've been on disability for a while. I've been on it since 18 and I'm 24 now. I had a girlfriend last summer (dating on and off). We finally met last summer, it was everything I could have ever imagined and more. It was magically, and then we rushed into something 'real' even though I was against it and it fell apart.

I met her 7 years ago online. I lost my virginity to her, and hers to me. It was sort of 'perfect' in a sense - but I don't believe there are actual women out there that can stand living in a NEETstyle. In bore down on us and created insane pressure, and we broke up over it. You'd have to be actually crazy hideous female, I think. My ex was thin, quite attractive, she had some skin problems and stuff. Nothing crazy though. I'm just fat, btw. Very, at that.

In my early years, probably highschool- I romanticized NEETdom and being Hikki. It's the worst thing you can do. I was a loser and friendless majority of my growing up and it fostered me into what I am today, but I'm working hard to change that. I DON'T want to be on disability, to be a NEET, etc… all that dysfunction that comes with it. For some it perhaps is inevitable. I am diagnosed mentally ill; some-what textbook Hikki. Honestly, it's the worst change you can have in your life. I loved that girl, and because of my NEET lifestyle it ruined it. I whole-heartily believe that it would have worked out if I wasn't a NEET and used to a terrible lifestyle.

anyways, I think it is possible to have a life being NEET… it's just exceptionally difficult… sorry if this was more of a rant. I am curious of other's struggles with neetdom and their personal victories.

I wish you all good luck and the willpower to improve.
R: 4 / I: 2
for a couple months last year, i had someone akin to my own misaki. i didn't know them irl, only talked to them online, but i was going out relatively frequently with their help, they calmed me down and helped me out in many different ways throughout my daily life, not just when i was outside, and i thought maybe it was the road to stopping being a hikikomori. they have some similar issues though, and in march of last year they started isolating themselves from everyone, online and irl (i talk to someone who is friends with them irl). so, for months now, i've been pondering, do i move on or continue waiting? i've been waiting for a long time now, but the extent they went too for me was something i've never had before, and doubt i'll ever have again. changing their sleep schedule to mine, legitimately always there when i needed them, kept me calm and relaxed, understood me and my emotional needs, went to great lengths to cater to my emotional needs, and did a great job at catering to those needs too, did so many things with me and for me, was very loyal, etc.
so, as i said earlier in the post, do i continue waiting or move on? i'm extremely dependent on other people, but that's a whole different thing to explain in itself. due to this extreme dependency, i really cannot see myself making any progress in my life without them, and i've only gotten worse since they've left..
R: 17 / I: 4
(I hope it's the right board.)

I think I've been followed/stalked for almost a year now. Possibly had one email hacked too, but I deleted immediately. I closed all my social media.

The problem is, I have absolutely no proof. No alerts, viruses or anything suspicious.

I know it's most likely a "problem" I invented myself but I have a few small reasons to believe it.

Did this happen to anyone else? Do you have any advice?
R: 10 / I: 2

Back to School Advice

I'm going back to school in a few weeks after having been shut in my room for probably 5 years. I dropped out of high school a while back, and even before then my parents took me out of elementary school in favor of homeschooling, since then I've had trouble and barely kept up. I've taken online classes for most of it, but I'm being encouraged to go out and actually attend classes, most because I do want more opportunities out of the house, and my computer is busted.

I'll be taking a high school equivalency thing first before actual college, but the thing is, I have no idea what to expect. I haven't interacted with anyone my own age in real life since I started being homeschooled, so I have no social skills. Additionally, I lack confidence in my own skills and have always struggled. I slacked off a lot and now I'm so behind. I've been trying to study but I don't have experience with a lot of this. Nobody is really helping me, and I can't help but think that, since this is just high school, college will be harder and leave me more drained and depressed than ever before.

No one has even told me what to expect. It's like they just keep dancing around the issue whenever I ask how bad it will be, which isn't helping my anxiety. And I keep stressing out over how much this'll cut into my time and what to do with my life, and hours and weeks and homework and getting high grades. I don't want to just waste any of my time here, but I guess I have to do this if I want to be a functioning member of society and get money. But I just wish someone would help me.

Is it really as bad as I'm thinking? If So, how do I hold out these next few years wasting my life on things I won't ever need to really know without breaking down and killing myself?
R: 33 / I: 11
How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now
R: 7 / I: 0
I'm back to the NEET life after 2 whole years of hard work to replenish my unemployment rights, man it's hard to be a decent NEET these days, this was so hard on me that I am now on anti-depressants…

What do you guys do to earn money and stay at home?
R: 19 / I: 4
I don't think I can endure it any longer. Life is just too much of a drag for me.

I stopped going to a therapist almost a year ago because he moved into another office, so the reservations were cleared. There are no other therapists in my town and going somewhere else is just too expensive. I've been trying to call him for several months, but he hasn't responded to me once. Maybe he doesn't want to interact with me anymore since I'm so broken.

My social skills are progressively getting worse. It's so severe that I'm even anxious when I talk to a friend on Discord. Most of the time even the simplest messages contain grammar errors, are unfinished, and sometimes even completely unrelated to previous ones.
As for the real life conversations, they share most of the same problems but it's accompanied by stuttering and similar speech impediments.

I have a crush on a Twitter mutual (yeah, I'm that sad) and I fucking regret it. She's an artist and I really look up to her, so I started to practice my drawing skills for a while so I can get noticed by her, but no one ever even noticed them (the way I draw is shit anyway, so I believe didn't have any chances lol). I replied to like 2 of her tweets with my shitty jokes that she for some reason really liked, or maybe she just pretended so I can feel noticed/respected/whatever. I wanna talk to her but I don't know how. Even a simple thought like DMing her saying "hi" makes my heart beat like a nuclear bomb.

I was never diagnosed with it, nor do I want to self diagnose myself, but there's a high chance that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I have a plenty of similar symptoms to Asperger's and PDD-NOS. The thought of that makes me extremely depressed all the time and I don't wanna exist anymore.

I haven't been suicidal for about 9 months, but the wish to end myself has returned about 2-3 days ago. I'm only 18 and I don't see any glimmers of hope in the distance anymore. Every single day since I graduated highschool exactly 5 months ago I've been doing nothing but laying in bed and playing some shit idle game without any sort of changes in daily routine. I don't even know what I should do anymore.

(sorry for the terrible composition and grammar, i havent written anything serious in a long time)
R: 4 / I: 0
I do nothing, my routine doesn't change. Waste all of my days sleeping. I'm too paralyzed to try new things due to a combo of apathy and general disinterest. I try to force myself but it never seems to stick. This lifestyle is miserable, I'm long passed the comfortable NEET life phase but I don't have the strength to change. I hope I won:t always be a loser and someday gather the willpower to make myself happy.
R: 44 / I: 19

Military Enlistment

What would happen if any of us honestly joined any branch of the military? Assuming we would simply pass any sanity tests (just pretend you cheat past it) and basic physical tests, what would happen?

I'm curious.
R: 27 / I: 8

How did YOU ruin your life?

Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no future for me. There's no hope for me ever finding happiness. I believe I simply don't deserve happiness. What comes natural to (almost) anyone else, I had to fiercely fight for it, only to end up being defeated.

Strictly speaking, I'm aware that at the moment I don't qualify as either a NEET or a hikikomori, but trust me, I'm heading that way. And I always sympathized with you anyway. (Even the girl I'm grieving about is a hardcore otaku and borderline hikikomori.)

Thank you for reading, guys! Now over to you.
R: 13 / I: 1
man i just don't like people.

i am not attracted to anyone.

at all.

no one.

not because of their bodies.

but because of people's personalities.

people are incredibly manipulative all the time

man that's just it.

man.
R: 7 / I: 3

Post ITT every time you get out of your comfort zone

This thread is for posting when you did something that was uncomfortable for you, but still important to do. It's also for encouraging other people who are getting out of their comfort zone too.

If you're NEET/hikki, I think part of the issue is having a small comfort zone and sticking to what's in that. So let's try to change that.

Tonight, I went to the city today to network with some people. We made plans in advance online and met up in person. Met some new people and talked about work, LinkedIn, mentoring, and stuff like that. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Even though I was super nervous, I still went, and I tried to talk with the other people. I wasn't good at it, but you gotta start somewhere. I will be seeing them again next week.

What about you? What have you done lately, or what are you planning on doing that is outside your comfort zone?
R: 13 / I: 0

Job Interviews

I'm a college student and I'm looking for work. I've lived a lot of my life as a shut-in, so I feel developmentally stunted in some ways. I guess people are impressed enough with my technical skills and software portfolio because I manage to get a decent number of interviews, but I haven't gotten hired for something related to the field I want to be in. I've gotten hired for shitty dead-end jobs in the past, but they have lower standards.

Basically, I think my social anxiety and awkwardness are holding me back. Even though my STEM education is good, people are put off by how awkward I am, so then they choose other applicants who are more confident, charismatic, and generally socially adept. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever hire me for a good job and I'll be doomed to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.

Any tips for getting better at socialization and job interviews?
R: 1 / I: 0

Surgical Help Thread?

Assuming there's not a general for this, I'd like some advice. A bit off topic maybe?

Basically I've had a rough 4 hours when I went into the ER yesterday for back pains, and learned I had a 1.3 millimeter kidney stone they'll have to break up "somehow", either through some weird outpatient procedure with sound waves, or by just going in and spending 2 hours breaking it out manually. The former is what we're trying first though and SHOULD get it.

What I'm worried about is them having to do the latter, as well as them having to place a stint in regardless. I'm terrified of being put under. Done it quite a few times in the past and it's just not gotten easier, so everytime they do it I start getting antsy. Additionally I am pretty protective over manhood. That sounds retarded, but it's a source of fear for me. With luck, they'll just have to put me under and fiddle with me twice to get the stint in and out, and it's all pretty easy and routine, so then why am I freaking out so much? Does anyone have any experience with these issues, or could give me some advice about how to calm down?

Please help me not be so pussy so these next few weeks can blow over smoothly.
R: 2 / I: 1

Still feeling like a "NEET"

Hi all

I'm former "NEET", was "NEET" for 2 years in mother's house. I am going to university now. Recently, I'm computer programmer intern several times. None of my programmer jobs pay enough to survive, however, and I have difficult time succeeding socially.

I still feel like I am "NEET" and "NEET" people are the only ones I relate to, what to do?
R: 6 / I: 1

Do you guys ever feel too drained and sleepy, even if you just woke up?

hey, /hikki/.
I've been a NEET for 4 years now. I can barely stay awake anymore. I sleep for 8-9 hours and drink a fuckton of coffee and sodas and yet I still feel sleepy and sluggish. I even tried "home exercises" but that only succeeded in making my legs feel like chewed-up gum.
Do you guys have this issue, too? It only started last year.
R: 11 / I: 6

What do you do about anxiety?

My mental state has been declining again. I was feeling alright for awhile but now there is just so much I need to worry about every day is filled with anxiety and I don't know how I can keep going like this. Recently I cant even bring myself to enjoy the things i'm passionate about, I just spend my free time under a blanket listening to music and browsing the internet doing nothing productive. As soon as I get home I am so exhausted that I fall asleep so I cant sleep at night. I don't want to live like this, I don't feel like doing anything.
R: 5 / I: 2

What have you made?

Post things you've made or things you are proud of. Creating things can feel nice when you have been alone and devoid of accomplishment.
R: 6 / I: 2
Does anyone care to start a trivial relationship with a stranger online?
I want to improve my social skills to make increase my odds of survival out there.
I apologize for this post if it is not allowed, or it is looked negatively, to ask for contact information.
R: 33 / I: 8

I hate humans and I don't know how to cope with it

I just really don't like people. There are some individuals I like, but I really loathe humanity. I hate how judgmental and shitty they are to anyone who doesn't meet their narrow standards. I hate how tribal they are, deriding anyone who happens to be outside of their shitty little groups/societies/cults. I hate how dishonest people are, nobody keeps promises even though breaking a promise is one of the worst things you can do. I hate how violent and stupid people are, choosing to beat each other to death over dumb shit instead of working together to make the future better. I hate how hypocritical they are, mocking others for their actions and then turning around and doing the same exact thing. I hate how the internet which used to be a safe haven from the real world has now become the very thing I was running from. And most of all, I hate when people use power as an excuse to ruin others' lives to satisfy their fragile and pathetic egos/feelings.

It's driving me nuts and I don't know what to do. It's years away before I can just put my brain into a computer or just hide away in a bunker with some companionship AIs and just fuck off. I still have the biological desire to socialize which is frustrating. I hate people, but at the same time I need them too. Being around these people exhaust me, and I really wish I could just be alone most of the time outside of the few hours I do work or go to school, which is something I'm only doing because it's impossible for me to be a NEET anymore without dying.

Does anyone else suffer from misanthropy? Have any coping skills or tricks to become at peace with being a loner/outsider?
R: 9 / I: 4

Japan Stuff

What's the thing with the japanese stuff? A lot people here share their interest here. I mean I know some stuff and like some manga / anime artwork, but I wouldn't call me particular interested in japanese culture, language or media. Anyone who isn't really passionate about this?
R: 2 / I: 2
Ayy,ive just started going outside more recently i think i can adapt more to society i try to walk out side 1nce a day
R: 29 / I: 10

Halp

Sup everyone. I'm a longtime on and off lurker and recovering hikki/NEET that's nearing thirty. Looking for advice or insights on my current situation, or just shared experiences…

I've started working recently and I don't know what to do to improve my current situation. It's a menial job at a restaurant and busy days can be pretty tough, I don't want to keep doing this forever, but I don't have much in the way of qualifications. Nor am I a very able person, I've been a NEET for more than 50% of my life and lacking in a lot of common life skills, partially due to Aspergers Syndrome and possible mild narcolepsy.

I was thinking of going to university but my track record regarding my educational career had been so poor I'm afraid to do so, also I feel I might be too old, and the thing I want to study hardly guarantees a successful career. At least I'm lucky to live in a country where education doesn't cost an arm and a leg, I can afford it without going into debt.

All I do these days is work, eat, sleep, play vidya and study a little Japanese. My shitty work schedule means I can hardly go out to meet my friends. I'm sorry for being incoherent, if you read my gibberish thank you. tldr; my life sucks mildly: what do?? Especially to people that managed to crawl out of their hell holes to improve their lives. How did you do it?
R: 8 / I: 4

Horrific Bullying

Hey, /hikki/! Needed advice, and you guys are pretty fucking helpful no matter what, so …

You see, I used to have friends and that kinda stuff but i got hit with depression and anxiety so we fell out of touch.

One "friend" in particular is acting like a huge bitch over the fact I can't hang out cause I'm too busy healing and taking care of myself instead of talking about boys and relationships. She keeps talking about me behind my back and acting like I'm just a nuisance in group projects when she barely does any work herself and I have to carry the team.

Yeah, I basically was her personal slave. Now I am too pissed and nervous about everything, I'm free!

Problem is, what do I do with her?
When we get paired, she acts all huffy and shit.

Please help, Ubuu!
R: 27 / I: 10

Pen Pals

I've been considering whether or not getting a pen pal would be worth it or not. I looked at site for that sort of thing and it allowed you to find people from a a specific country. Okay.
>Japan
I figured they would have the most interesting socially inept people. Rather than some kid, a really old guy, or some creep, I could imagine a Japanese person having a similarly neurotic kind of mind set as me. Maybe that's naive, but the results I got didn't betray me expectations. Almost all women for some reason. One of them really stood out to me, it's kind of depressing actually.

>I have been waiting for my ideal person for so many years

>first i don't want any humans who have friends really
>maybe just talk is actually fine but mostly meaningless plus boring i think
>so it is meaningless to have a communicate with those kind of humans
>i wonder always why they all like to keep having those kind of meaningless humans for their friends
like online friends to something like that
>sometimes there is really a good person is true even on the internet
>but you really can continue to have a communicate with that person until the death
>or you really care about? or
>at least i don't keep anybody and i am keep waiting for my ideal person for myself
>i am very selfish and egoist
>it is for my happiness
>i want to be happy
>other humans told me that you actually not want to be happy or like that things to me
>i want to be happy of course
>but if i say more correctly, i want to feel happy a lot
>for it, i need my ideal person
>my right person, my future person
>i don't know who is that person
>i have many lists for my ideal person, i have a >good place that let you know about myself and about my ideal person
>i usually stay on another website, and waiting for that person always
>my one of dream is pack off from the internet world and just make me and that person's world and feel happy a lot together
>but it seems so hard
>i know
>all are good, and better than me i always feel so
me is the bad that i cannot make others happy really
>even if i tell how i feel always told by others, why you think like that? you should change yourself
>i am serious to interesting person always
>not so serious to not so interesting humans rather not talk so i really not have anybody to talk to mostly and it makes me really lonely
>it is very sad that i have no one who i want to talk to
>you can have anybody, many, a lot of humans to talk to
>so easily, this world, on the internet i think
but i mean, i have no one who i want to talk to
>who i want to talk together with all are same to me even others thinks all are different
>and i think all are different but to me they seem really same
>each persons has their own opinons and thoughts
i have my own strong too, but i am not someone who could tell it to others so strong in the real world
>even not have anybody to tell maybe only to my parents only
>so forgot to write that me is almost hikikomori, i don't do anything, work, study, just a dead one who keep stay in the room and feel lonely everyday
>but still have a hope that i can be happy with that person or like that
R: 5 / I: 4

Fears & Phobias

Post your fears or phobias. They can be a major fear or something minor. The reaction on contact doesn't necessarily have to be one of fear, if it's composed of some form of anxiety or accompanying similar symptoms then it's all game.
As for me, inhaling or otherwise breathing in confined spaces with the absence of noise makes me all dizzy at the sensation of air rippling through my nostrils.
R: 14 / I: 1

My mental heath is decreasing

Hello
I lurked and posted here on Uboachan once, but on the occult board. Well, I had shared my story on how the house I used to live in had an alleged haunting, but one anon suggested I'd been hallucinating the incidents since I mentioned even if I moved, it wouldn't stop.
It still hasn't, actually.
It actually has only gotten worse.
Being alone in a house, working the whole day and staying inside the house at night alone means it's usually quiet here. Last week, I've noticed whispers and knocking at my windows although I'm on the second floor in my apartment, and lately horrifying images start popping up in my peripheral vision. They're freaking the fuck outta me. It once yelled at me when I tried looking out the window.
A therapist session would mean grocery, rent and bills would kick my ass.
Family out of state, trip would last an entire day so that's outta the question. I also have to mention that they think mental illness is fake.
Fucking great, ain't it?
I had to post here, cause shit at least you people give sound advice.
Please give some advice, this is eating me alive and I feel like my sanity's fucking slipping.
R: 30 / I: 3
Why is life so hellish when you're not socially adjusted enough for the standards of others?
I'm constantly mistreated and looked down upon for even making the slightest signs of nervousness. It sucks.
Makes me want to halt all potential progress of becoming more in tone with society and revert back to my NEET lifestyle.
Because it's shelter from the hideous personalities the general population tends to have towards someone who comes off as distinct in whichever terms. I'm getting tremendously sick of it..only been a few months since I've stopped being a shut-in. But surrounding myself with this type of hostile environment every single day encourages me that this attempt to adjust is ultimately not worth it. I don't know what to do anymore.
The world is truly a cruel place. I'm not cut out for it.
R: 5 / I: 0

The Assessment of Everything

I need to request the help of some fellow NEETs in the investigation of this strange program; the reason being is that it's filled to the brim with self-reflection lingo that I find to be profoundly disturbing. There may be something here that is useful to our shared condition, or it may be complete nonsense; I'll try it once more after sleeping.

https://www.myabandonware.com/game/timothy-learys-mind-mirror-67
R: 62 / I: 15
Curious: Would you describe yourself as more of a NEET, Hikikomori, or a very reclusive Freeter?
R: 10 / I: 0

employment

so a little background info

abandoned at 12, picked up by CPS - ran away from group home at 16, never finished high-school, have a criminal record so can't get a job with SSN - tried immigrant labor, the pay was awful and the language barrier even stronger

decent computer literacy, and can sound ok on the phone. can't sell drugs anymore, almost murdered last time

any ideas on what to do for online employment?

pic unrelated
R: 20 / I: 4

Story sharing thread

Since the last thread fucking sucked, here’s another attempt at a thread where we can ramble about our day-to-day existance. I’ll start.

>19

>Hikki for 3 years
>Constantly exhausted even though I sleep on averege 12 hours a day, day and night have completely blended together
>Have always been a loner and incapable of understanding basic human communication
>Spiraled down into depression after my dad passed away
>Dropped out of school and started taking online courses instead
>Went from living an already lonely life to being completely isolated, not leaving my house for anything
>The only people in my life was immediate family who were busy grieving
>I literally cannot remember anything I’ve done the past three years apart from staring at screens and walls
R: 14 / I: 4
Who else gets social anxiety from buffet tables? Every time my family drags me to a shitty hotel, or a shitty cruise, or a wedding, or a bar mitzvah, or any kind of group event, I always dread the buffet. I just want to get seated at a table, have a guy come to me and ask what I want, bring me what I want and go away. I don't want to stand up, and grab a plate, and worry about looking like I don't know what i'm doing, and spend a bit a of time just looking everything over before put like two tiny portions of bread and pasta just so that I can get it over with as fast as possible. Not only that, but the whole format seems so wasteful to me. Just to save some money on man power they'd be willing to let so much food go cold and go to waste? Never mind if they would dare to warm food up multiple times. Actually good buffets are already bad enough. I'm not alone on this, right?
R: 4 / I: 1
Who else has escaped from NEET? I was NEET for over a year but I went to university afterwards and now I am placed as a software engineer. I lost 50 pounds and have a significant other.
R: 11 / I: 3
Until a month ago I used to be a neet, now I studying again. I want my neet life back.
R: 14 / I: 8

positivity thread

positivity thread. only positivity is allowed in the positivity thread. there are other threads for non-positivity. only positivity in the positivity thread.
R: 1 / I: 0
Anyone have major issues with productivity? It's like my mind just rejects doing anything to better myself.

I've attempted timers as a way to limit the ways I waste these precious seconds of my life but I just end up adding ten minutes to them, and pushing whatever needs to get done to a few nights before its due date.

Anyone manage to overcome this? What should I do?

I've also tried telling myself constantly that "I'm a productive human being, I can get X and X done today", but it never works.
R: 9 / I: 5
Is there specific things that you deeply want to do but feel held back by your circumstances? I would love to go camping with some buddies, but I have no buddies and also feel too trapped to do so. It kills me a little that if I don't get better I'll miss out on many things
R: 32 / I: 20

Neet Bucks General Biz ideas

>23 no real experience working, always at home browsing or trying to learn something in order to make things pass by.
How do you keep with your lifestyle as a neet or hikki without leaving the house? Is it true that you can acquire some dough online? If so how do you do it? or if you could suggest some ideas would be really appreciated as someone who mostly is disgusted by other people and just wants to have a feel of fullfillment from doing something by myself and learning in the process.
Hope we can help to nurture each other by having some general ideas.
R: 12 / I: 2

Help. I don’t want to live like this.

Alright, so I’ve been lurking subtly on Ubuu for years now, just really becoming active now, desu.

But, I’m currently in a point in my life where I just feel like I’m stuck.
It all started a few months ago.
Everything started to slowly lose interest to me.
I had gotten back into Touhou around then, but trying to 1cc games started feeling boring and tedious.
Days feel like they blend together, life feels like it’s been draining of its color.
About a month in, no game interested me anymore.
As a matter of fact, nothing in life kept me intrigued.
It got to the point where the only thing that gave me solace was talking with my few friends on Discord.
Now, at this point I had started to indulge in a long forgotten passtime of mine; Roleplaying.
It felt rejuvinating, engaging even, to roleplay.
Roleplaying gave me a way to live a life of someone I wasn’t.
So I perfected the craft, making almost everything I did paragraph tier. It wasn’t even ERP, either, just normal, typical RPs.
It became addicting.
It was the one thing that I found interesting.
All the while i started spending more and more time inside.
At this point, the only real thing I’d do is Eat, RP, and Sleep.
Occasionally, I’d just stare at the cieling with my lights off listening to ambient music in the dark.
But as of a few weeks ago, both my fuckin’ computer /and/ phone bricked (lovely coincidence), and now all that I have left is this stupid uni laptop that won’t even run Discord. I tried the site, too.
Ever since then, it’s gotten worse.
I barely eat,
I barely sleep, even.
I just.
Stare at the wall or the ceiling.
I don’t listen to anything anymore, it’s boring now.
I just stare and think.
Think about nothing.
This place is about all I go to anymore.
The reason I say this is because a relative of mine came over to my place to talk about my reclusiveness.
I told him everything, and he told me that I most likely have depression.
If anything, I’d believe him, considering he’s dealt with it for years.
He told me that this amount of apathy is a major sign of depression.
He suggested that I start talking to a shrink, but…
I don’t know.
I don’t know if I’d have the motivation to get out of bed to see the damn shrink.
Whatever, I know you guys aren’t exactly shrinks, but I want some advice.
Please, Everything has lost its charm and I don’t want to live my life as this husk of a person that just stares at the wall because they have no cash to buy a new phone(I was short on funds and got a flip phone, because of course I did.).

Also, If you’re wondering, uni’s not much better, I just stay away from everyone and tey not so sleep through the lectures despite not being tired.

tl;dr: i fucking hate life. how do i stop hating life
R: 4 / I: 1
When did dealing with your emotions become so difficult? It seemed like I always dealt with my emotions fine but all of a sudden im smoking a bowl and bullshitting here to run away from real life problems.
R: 16 / I: 2

Is there any way for someone like me to make money? Or am I doomed?

Almost 30, severe social anxiety, hikki/NEET for over 10 years, no college or high school (I was homeschooled), no skills, no real job experience. So sheltered and isolated I can't relate to anyone on even the most basic level.

At this point, I'm thinking a lot about suicide, but I don't want to give up before I've at least made a real try of it.

I desperately need money. That's the main thing that needs to be addressed before I can think of anything else. It's not just for me. It's my family. I live with my grandparents, who have supported me my entire life, and they're in really poor health (my grandfather is currently in the hospital). We're pretty much getting by on their social security benefits and food stamps. I've gotten where I at least leave the house to go to the store and run errands for my grandparents, but other than that, my situation is more or less the same as it has been for the past decade or so. If they're were anything I could do online, that would be ideal, but depending on what it is, I'd even be willing to get a real world job, although there are some caveats there. I can't do any cashier type stuff due to my social anxiety and poor people skills. I still don't know how I'm going to explain to any prospective employer that I'm 30 years old and have pretty much never worked a real job in my life. It would be great if there were some organization that helped shut-ins enter the workforce, but I doubt anything like that exists. If I could just find some way to make even minimum wage, it would be life changing. The most important thing is that it would buy me time, and this is what I need more than anything.

Do you guys have any ideas?
R: 6 / I: 1
Is anyone here a hikki/neet because of a disability? Mental, physical, whatever.
I've always struggled during my youth due to mood swings + learning disability, and some terrible things happened during my tweens. My mental health was rapidly deteriorating in high school, so I didn't plan ahead for college or anything like that.
I got SSI 2 years ago for my ptsd, anxiety, dysthymia and bpd. I'm able to survive on it and still have money leftover related to my interests, but I feel so useless. Even if I wanted to work, I probably couldn't.
I just want to know if anyone else here has similar struggles. Or if anyone wants to vent about it.
R: 15 / I: 1

Is this board helpful?

Has this board ever helped you, or were you only trolled or harassed? Also, should I be doing more to remove destructive users from this board?

Honestly, I hate where this board is going and I want to change something. Whether that's stricter rules, or more trigger-happy per-board bans for hooligans, or shutting down /hikki/ and telling everyone to go somewhere else, or even another board reset, is yet to be decided.

We didn't have a board like this at the beginning of the site; one of the admins added the original NEET board on their own some years back. I wonder if that was a mistake. /hikki/ was an attempt to scrub that board of the problems which are now, again, affecting it. I feel like nothing has really changed.

Is this just a place where depressed people simultaneously insult and validate each other's misery, while keeping each other down? Is it really doing more harm than good? Or, is it just a few bad users being disingenuous and drowning out what could have been a decent atmosphere? I wanted this board to be helpful but I'm not sure if that's what it's doing.

I want to hear what the people here think before I make a decision about the future of /hikki/. But, I can't let things keep going as they are now. Be honest, am I slacking off too much with the bans? Or is the problem with this place deeper than that?
R: 80 / I: 29
How do you deal with the isolation of this lifestyle? When I have nobody to talk to online I lose all motivation to enjoy myself, and the life is basically sucked out of me
R: 9 / I: 1

Friend is depressed and suicidal

My friend was making depressive comments and talking about suicide from over three years ago. We thought it was him trying to get attention, but over time he became more and more serious, until I realized that it wasn't an act. Many of the people who surround him still treat it like he's pretending, but exam season is coming in, and the stress and pessimism is really getting to him. He's recently been talking about staying home because he feels ill, but when he's at home, he plays games until he gets depressed about how much time he's wasted. His parents pressure him about grades, and he's grown an inferiority complex and it's all slowly knawing away at him.
R: 2 / I: 1

Any NEETs take a sincere attempt at business/self employment, if so, what of it?

TL;DR Have any of you tried business? If so, what obstacles did you go through, and did it turn out in the end?

I am a NEET with bipolar disorder and possibly autism. I dropped out of high school and got my GED. I went to my local community college and placed into calculus 1. However, once my classes were mostly on campus which was after around 3 quarters I couldn't handle being around people and dropped out. Afterwards I've been doing shit jobs that I've managed only to tolerate max 2 months and that is pushing it. I don't even have my drivers license and I'm like 20. It really fucking sucks. I have great difficulty learning motor skills. I remember I didn't know how to tie my fucking shoes until I was in 6th grade. I am however a little more confident behind the wheel, but not yet to a agreeable level.

Needless to say I'm living with my parents. I do feel somewhat guilty, but after large amounts of self reflection I feel that it isn't worth it. No amount of sulking and pitying is going to change anything. I'm not ashamed of being alive and honestly I couldn't care less if I was homeless. I walked alone in the dark in the middle of winter for like 6 hours just reflecting on my own fears and inhibitions. So what if I die within this moment? So what if society is bigoted and repulsed by eccentrics like us? It is better to go off with a bang than a whimper.

During my time working shit jobs I bought an impressive library of books covering everything from FPGAs, how to write a compiler, to even the internals workings of operating systems. I am very interested in computers and I was thinking of taking toastmaster courses to help me with my non existent social skills. Maybe even getting neetbux for a short while. I really want to roll the dice hard on this one. I am planning on becoming a badass technical contractor, so badass they will be uncompetitive if they choose to pass me up. So that even with my flaws, they are fucked without me.

So, any of you had any success with business? I feel like setting up an LLC and putting myself out there to be optimal. Even if it feels scary inside. Even if it is incredibly irritating and annoying. Even if it is harder than doing the shit jobs I was once doing.
R: 1 / I: 0
I want to go blind. Everything's too overwhelming at this point. Is there a way to go blind without pain? One that doesn't involve stabbing.
If I don't go blind, or become crippled down the legs, I'll kill myself the new year. I hope there is a good way to do this.
R: 9 / I: 2

NEET Finances

I've been a neet for 4 years, and only recently has a family emergency made me terrified of how i've managed money up to this point. I've always lived in the moment and might have fucked myself over.

So, /hikki/:
-How do you split your neetbucks between savings and day to day living?
-How much recreationally spending money do you allow yourself?
-Do you worry about how easily any day an accident could ruin you? Any other advice?
R: 31 / I: 3

3 weeks away from returning to a normal life

So I've been a hikki NEET since May 2015 or so, but that's gonna change in about 3 weeks.


I know 2 years isn't that much compared to most of you guys, but I'm scared. My already mediocre social skills have probably taken a hit since then, so I don't know how will I react around people etc.

These 2 years have been fun in the end, even though I've hardly done anything relevant at all. But now's time to be a member of society again and I'm not sure I can handle it.

I'll be studying software engineering if anyone's interested.

Has anyone here gone through something similar?
R: 40 / I: 13
Why are people proud of being neet? Why do they boast about being neet?

I've been neet for 7 years and have never been proud of it or thought it was worth telling others about.
R: 20 / I: 4
Hi, /hikki/. I've been lurking around on here since about 2013 and I really didn't have too much to ask about since I know my more internal problems suck, but they are also more of something that I can fix myself if I try. More to the point I guess, I decided to finally post because I have had my first paying job in three years. It's in retail, and I've been working there since November last year. At first I was relieved to get a paying job, but I learned soon that I just dislike the work and the environment. It's a department store, and I pretty much guard the fitting room area and I have to count the garments that people want to bring in. I'm not a very extroverted person, and I have a few diagnosed mental disorders. Sometimes people come over to try stuff on and they show clear disdain for what I have to do. I still do my job, but I've had many customers act incredibly finicky and rude about me having to check the items they have. Not only that, but some people will complain about things I won't let them do, like not bringing shopping carts into the fitting room even though there is a very noticeable sign that says people can't. I get along with my coworkers well at least, and most of my bosses are also nice. But I'm just tired of dealing with mostly middle aged women in yoga pants with makeup caked onto their faces, complaining about me doing what I'm supposed to do. I've had a breakdown already at work during the holiday time when some bitch refused to let me hand her each garment as I counted them. I used to work at a summer camp as a counselor, working with elementary to middle school aged kids. I got along with most of them and I used to let them watch me draw and I'd give them advice on school and growing up. The camp itself was kind of poorly run though, and when some of the kids got bullied, no one seemed to report it except me. There were also times when other staff were watching stuff on their phones and not interacting with the kids. Despite all that, I actually liked that job more when I look back on it, because I felt useful and that I was helping to contribute to society by inspiring kids to think about their futures and for them to grow up to be good human beings. Now I just feel that I made a mistake accepting my current job. I'm 19 and I still live with my parents. I've talked to my mother about finding another job at an afterschool program or another camp, and leaving my current job on the best terms that I can. She told me that I should stay for some years so it looks better on my resume, but I'm growing to hate this place more and more every day. Any help would be highly appreciated.
R: 25 / I: 3

Being thrust into the spotlight

tl;dr Former NEET gets dream job and loses it. Debates bringing evidence of inappropriate behavior to the public. Mainly due to freaking out.

At one point in my life I was total NEET for 5+ years. Mental illness, multiple suicide attempts, and an illness in the family led me to moving back home. I existed as a ghost, only leaving the house to take my family member to the hospital for medical treatments. It wasn't fun at all, but I was able to justify the lack of motivation to do anything as 'doing the right thing' by taking care of said family member.

At around the 5 year mark, my family member passed away. It was a serious emotional trauma but I put off dealing with it by choosing that moment to try my hardest to get a job. I hustled despite my fears and anxieties and managed to get a job. It wasn't something I'd ever wanted to do but it gave me the chance to use work as a drug. It lasted a few years and gradually came around to me quitting because of the mental anguish involved. I did the NEET thing for a year and on a whim tried out a new job.

This job was fucking nuts. It was so demanding and chaotic that it completely consumed me. It was a career field I had never even considered doing in the past. Same with the last job, but as it turns out, I was actually really good at this new job. It wasn't the type of place where my being weird stood out. Everyone there was at least a little weird. In under a year I had been promoted to the highest position possible before becoming an executive. People worked under me and I did everything in my power to lookout for them. This led to me working 80+ hours a week. There was a little burning the candle at both ends but for once in my life I finally felt like I'd found my place in the world. I was exposed to things and places I never would have done firsthand if I was still in NEET mode. I regularly partied with celebrities, saw movies and TV shows months before anyone else, and even developed a close-knit group of friends (most of which were incredibly talented or powerful people).

Then it all came crashing down. Two years into my tenure there, past scandals came out to the public and the job suddenly disappeared. People were harassed, assaulted, or worse. In a matter of weeks I lost the family I had come to discover because of inappropriate actions that happened years before my time there. Unbeknownst to me in my time there I'd gathered quite a bit of information without directly witnessing any of the bad stuff. I'm debating whether to go to the press or not. Morally I feel that I have to, but emotionally I'm terrified. All eyes will be on me and that's the last thing I want. That'd send my mental illness into overdrive and I'm afraid of what I might do as a result.

Any advice /hikki/?
R: 7 / I: 1

Autism Dollars in Australia

How can I get autism bux in Australia?
I have been diagnosed with moderate functioning autism professionally. I have the documents that support this that are signed. Not sure what to do from here..
R: 59 / I: 3

I'm too lost to function

Feeling suicidal right now. I have what my doctor calls major clinical depression and I also have some drug addiction. I've been living the neet life this year because I dropped out of school to be on medication. I feel like I'm only going to college in the first place so people don't yell at me.
I don't think I've posted here in years. I'm a wreck right now because one of my friends who has used this site from time to time died of drug overdose recently.
None of my friends seem to like me anymore and everyone I've cared about seems to hate me now. I have no motivation. I feel dead inside. All I want is to not be alone but I can't seem to alleviate that.
I've just been sitting here listening to sad piano music crying for an hour or so. I don't know what to do.
I'm a giant waste of potential no one cares about and I'm only getting older from here.
I can't function without antidepressants anymore. Nonstop suicidal thoughts all day everyday. I got back on them this week because I was going crazy again. I live in constant fear that I'm just going to snap one day. When I'm off my meds I have impulses to kill myself and my brain tells me exactly how to do it. It bothers me that I could end my life in less than a minute at all times.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm probaby never going to kill myself I'm just stuck in a constant state of my mind telling me to.
R: 13 / I: 0

neet money

I feel like I want to become full and proud neet after I finish school this year
I don't want to work or study or anything
how can I earn money easily as a gurl
any sites to sell voice to dubs or something? I can sing pretty ok I guess
or record lewd voices for money or something
any other way?
I would draw too but first I must efford fucking graphic tablet shieeet
R: 3 / I: 0

DPD

Are there other people here with DPD (Dependent personality disorder)? I'm searching for an other person that has the same problem as me. So we can "depend" on each other and become friends! I'm also autistic and can talk basically all day. I wish the other person could also do that. My timezone is UTC+2.00 (Europe). I'm very sad every day. If you don't know what it is, just look at the picture. If I don't find anyone here I'll repost this on other IBs. My interests are programming, mathematics, animes and mangas.
>Feeling uncomfortable or helpless when alone, because of exaggerated fears of inability to care for oneself.
>Preoccupation with fears of being abandoned by a person with whom one has a close relationship, and of being left to care for oneself.
>Merges with and immersed into another; is engulfed, enshrouded, absorbed, incorporated, willingly giving up own identity; becomes one with or an extension of another.
The last point is very important, that means you should be able to talk to me all day. This describes me very well. I hope that I can find somebody. My email is LambdaCube@protonmail.com
R: 8 / I: 1
How do you think male and female neets are perceived differently by society? This can apply to normies' perception, employers perception, authority figure's(government) perception, parent perception, and the perception of the opposite sex to the neet. Also, why do you think these differences exist? What is the basis for any of it? I feel like this discussion was a long time coming and I'm really interested in do seeing what people have to say about it.
R: 4 / I: 0

Personal Finances

Hello Neet, I am or was Neet. I have always had a social anxiety since school and I still hate going out, but have learned to overcome that and can actually socialize enough to get around and can even enjoy meeting new people. I love the Neet lifestyle, even if I don't intend to totally isolate myself from friends or family. To me the Neet lifestyle is being able to live my life without social obligations and needing to work all my time away while then just doing drugs and shit inbetween shifts because I am either too tired to do anything or just have a few free hours a day. This leave me, just as it does many other, with just the weekends to do anything, to be myself and to relax and unwind. In fact I am not as productive as I wish I was on my days off because I need to rest from working all week. So even when I am not working, my full time job interferes with my personal life.
So now what I want to know is how anyone here gets by financially without depending on family or others. My family will not support me and mooching off friends can only go so far before they get sick of your shit. I can stand working part time, but not full. In fact I hate part time too, but at-least I get some of my time back, but that still means I need to make more per hour to make up for working less. Either that or I need to make income aside from that job.
I really don't make much as it is at my job. Just over minimum wage. So I can make the same wage doing practically anything, with more benefits depending on where I go. If I worked part time then I would make half my current income and would only need to supplement it a few hundred dollars a month to have the same revenue that I currently have.
Now ideas I have had start with
A. working extra hard while I save some money. This isn't a long term thing as I hate working. I could get a job as a call center rep part time and work weekends. I just want to save some money for a camper van and for a certificate program in my states marijuana industry. I would preferably use it to work for myself, but with the mega corporations already opening up I can't imagine that would be to doable. Aside from consulting work for home ops.
B. Sell on ebay. I am looking at some products that I can get in bulk to sell as supplies and materials for various projects. IDK how well they truly sell and will check the recently sold on ebay before committing. Aside from that I would resell things that I know can be flipped like popular cameras, bikes, recent electronics. If the price is right and there's a market for it. I would sell on ebay, craigslist and at flea markets. This of course will take up time. I can pack and ship items before and after work. Perhaps even get someone else to drop them off for me. But meeting people for craigslist sales may be difficult and collecting items from say craigslist free or yard sales would be time consuming too. So it's fare to say that I would need to start slowly while I work full or part time and then slowly reduce my work schedule until I am making enough to just quit.
C. Internet surveys and testing webpages. I know internet surveys aren't very profitable. If I am lucky it would generate $100 or so a month. But I can still sort of do it while Neeting around my room or camper in my underwear smoking weed and watching anime. I see that you can make like $10 per site for testing webpages. And they claim you can do about two sites per hour. That there is better than my hourly pay if I can net 2 surveys an hour. I plan on trying this very soon and seeing how fruitful it really is.
D. I want to do crypto mining. After working extra hard for a few months and saving money, buying my camper van and maybe taking the cannabis certificate I would set up a crypto mining rig and join a mining pool. I would also get into altcoin icos and trading.
Anyways, sorry for the long post. I am sure this has been inquired before, but I am really looking for other suggestions and/or experiences with some of what I listed along with an idea of if it was worth it.
R: 9 / I: 1

Survey

Hey anons, I'm conducting a survey on NEET/Hikki/Freeters, I was hoping some of you might be willing to try it. (pic unrelated, art by Tadanori Yokoo)

https://goo.gl/forms/mUUH3ddYwgyEg2lz2
R: 14 / I: 6

Friendships

As someone who has no "real" friends, my only source of companionship has been online friends. After 2 years or so I fear this group of my "close" friends have all grown tired of me, just as all of my friends in high-school would. I'm more on the quiet and shy side but I try my best to message my friends online everyday, but recently in the past few months they've seemed disinterested in me, not very receptive to me in group chats or in private messages. Eventually some, who I would message everyday have stopped messaging me and even ignoring me most of the time when I message them.

Maybe it's stupid but I feel so worthless as a person, as if I'm not even worth talking to because this happens every time, with every friend group I join. In school I was friendly with everyone, but then I'd realise the people I thought were my best friends were out partying and would make group chats while excluding me.

I got over this and felt alright cutting everyone off and being a NEET/hikki, but I thought I've actually been able to bond with these people online so it hurts especially when I know that this group of people are still messaging and calling each-other daily to play video games without me. There hasn't been any sort of fight between us or anything, so why is it always me that people get tired of? It's not like I'm spergy/edgy/mean to people or anything, so I just struggle to understand it.

Sorry for the rant, just upset and wanted to be able to write about it. Is there anyone else that has/is going through this?
R: 2 / I: 0
Hi guys, long time neet here, first time poster. I have to say, /hikki/ is a fine board. It's here that I have finally found troubled souls such as myself. In reading these posts, I have realised that I am not alone in my struggle.

It's refreshing to learn that there are other young men and women who enjoy sleeping in until 1pm and sitting on the computer all night. Up until now I thought I was the only person in the world who was so inclined to do this. My therapist kept saying I was being lazy, but I knew that fat sow was wrong.

To kick start a discussion for this thread, I'd like to pose a question: How do you con your local dole centre into giving you cutter for fags and alcohol? My mother is quite keen on that sort of thing, and I would like to secure a steady supply so that I can carry on with my lifestyle. I was thinking of pretending that I had autism or something like that. Seems to be all the rage these days. My mother was watching a show on the netflix related to it.

Anyway please let me know if you have any tactics when dodging the career advisors' interregation techniques.

Regards

John
R: 42 / I: 13

How do you live?

Since the beginning of my NEET status, there's one thing that's always bothered me: the percieved lack of a reason to exist.

I just feel guilty, being such a burden. It wouldn't matter how much those that care of me would be willing to accept it. I really haven't changed since last year, and I'm starting to feel really bad about it.

How do you work through it, fellow NEETs? What do you tell yourself is the reason that you should continue breathing the next day?

I'm not considering suicide, this is simply the most relatable image of Tomoko I found, but I'm definitely not feeling great.
R: 3 / I: 1

NEET for years - Wanting to (WANT) to get out of it/the cycle

Hi there. I've been a struggling NEET for years now.

In the past 6-8 years I have had several entry level jobs lasting between 2-6 months on average.

For 4 years I have been a complete NEET, (aside from a few single courses), because I was hit by a car.

I live with my parents since then, comfortably, but with no hope of meeting new people, finding (and desperately wanting to have) a girlfriend, or feeling a part of any social community that could help me branch out.

I do deal with physical pain (mostly in my back), which can be limiting.

My *MAIN* problem is that I can't think of enough pro's to work myself out of this situation. I'm on Welfare, so I make enough money to feed myself, and I can entertain myself and even learn skills at home comfortably, but I am very alone.

Just wondering if anybody has any advice for working yourself out of the NEET-hold and becoming a social, or "normal" person again.
R: 31 / I: 10
I'm not quite sure what compelled me to post this or what reminded me of this place, but this is the first time I've been on this imageboard in years, perhaps the last time being 2013-2014 as far as I can even remember my time as a hikki. I didn't post very much, and when I did, I made sure not to make a name for myself. I was a hikki for 3 1/2 years, give or take based on what you consider the cut-off between NEET and hikki status. It's been nearly 3 years now since I left that lifestyle and ostensibly cured myself. Not to say I don't still have some mental abnormalities, but they're undetectable, both to myself and to others. I went back to college, graduated with a STEM degree and great grades. I applied for a job a couple weeks ago and am going in for an interview in a few days. I got a gf and lost my virginity last year, and now have a decently large friend group of very normal people that I blend in with completely, and sometimes don't even feel like an outlier around.

I don't mean to bore you with my life story – I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to get better and escape this lifestyle. I won't lie, I sometimes get brief pangs of nostalgia for the days of sleeping 15+ hours a day eating nothing but ramen and wasting all my time on the computer. But I feel okay now. I don't feel afraid, or anxious, or suicidal, or empty, or confused anymore. I feel healthy, I feel comfortable, I feel almost normal. Things can get better. Not just for me, but for you. It's not easy, and I've learned over the years to not try to offer what worked for me as advice, but I just want you all to know that it is possible to get out of this. The world is beautiful unobscured by depression, anxiety, fear, depersonalization, etc. I care about all of you and I want to see you all do good. I won't be sticking around for long – I don't want to reinforce long-dead habits – but I hope one day you can all join me. I love you all. Good luck my friends.
R: 2 / I: 1
Please help me. I am do gay i cant stop buying male prostitutes but only if they are black.. my bank account is in the red my family hates me. IF ONLY I DIDNT BECOME A MEMBER OF GNAA
R: 12 / I: 5

neet /pol/

Who are neets going to vote for in 2016?

Donald Trump is the meme candidate but Bernie is offering free shit which is good for neets like us.
R: 5 / I: 3

NEET2016

Hi all,

I posted a few times on the old board several years ago whilst I was NEET after dropping out of uni.

Just recently been made redundant and I am going to go through the NEET lifestyle again.

Any tips or suggestions for a UK NEET?

Cheers.
R: 9 / I: 4
Ay /hikki/
15 year old here.
Fuck it I hate everything and I'm tired of everything.
Long story short, I'm gonna become a neet next year.
Any advices?
R: 4 / I: 0
hey so i was 3-months Neet at my mothers house until i got kicked out and now im at my jobs and got my current hours cut to just the weekends, i have going around town looking for any 'now hiring' signs to no luck. so my question for right now is what to do to improve my chances of getting hired/finding a job? Do I go to college and wait 4 years? do i go to vocational school to pick up a skill while i wait at college? do i just keep going at customer service/ retail jobs?
R: 19 / I: 3
I don't know if this is going to be a poor OP for a thread but I just became homeless and I really don't know what to do. I'm scared.
R: 25 / I: 1

I'm losing my goddamn mind, /hikki/

tl;dr turning 20, was a neet starting 2013, got a taste of the good life last year, things fell out; lost job and got arrested, have no good job credentials and I'm losing my mind again living like a hikki in the middle of nowhere

First post here, bear with me. Let me start by saying I turn 20 in three days, and I live a few miles into the countryside next to a big city. Before July of last year, I was a NEET since my parents pulled me out of my junior year of high school. I got a job at Home Depot starting October of 2015 but my life was mostly restricted to work and homelife at that point. I tried networking with my coworkers but alas, it didn't go very far. I still don't have my driver's license, and HS homeschooling failed so no diploma. A bad weed experience and a bad DXM experience coupled with depression lead to some of the worst depersonalization I think I would ever experience and life was generally a depressing, chaotic mindfuck until midsummer last year.
Around July of last year, I started working out. I would also loiter in some public places like vape shops, and met my most recent best friend. I met some more people, some good, some bad like a few methheads and my ex gf, but overall I had a circle going. I was working out here and there still, was around friends and acquaintances, and even had a party here and there. I went over a year without playing any video games, got a tattoo, was meeting new people, unintentionally started NoFap, lost a lot of weight, smoked a lot of kush with good experiences, lost my virginity, got taken places like different cities by my circle, and while I lost my job due to the hecticness of my social life, I was constantly up to something and generally felt better and enjoyed life's adventures.
However, things started to crash around the beginning of the new year. Me and gf broke up, (not exactly anything bad tho kek) had a falling out at that time with my best friend, another good friend moved out of the city, and being jobless, I was left more or less broke. (I'd work temp work for some pocket cash here and there, but it's a pain in the ass to get on location and I was always left with less than $80 on any day.) I tried going back to school to give me something to do, but was arrested 3 weeks later after buying weed from someone there like an idiot, and was sent to alternative HS after I got out of jail on bail. The location was quite too far, and while I opted for a bus, the pickup time was way too early for my irresponsible ass to wake up in time. Needless to say, I missed more than a month of school, was disqualified for any credits, so I was like fuck it and dropped out. I also got a second job but my superiors were complete pricks, the pay sucked and my hours were always cut, and was fired not long after I asked for more hours. Since then, I've at least started talking to my best friend again, been more immersed in Dark Enlightenment (started redpilling in September; my newfound philosophy has me banned from facebook) and have been trying to get another job with no success. I have made progress towards getting my GED but still a ways to go. Otherwise, I'm back in the NEET hole. It's more or less a daily routine of video games, food, and fapping here or there.

I fucking hate it. I need money to get a form of transportation since summer is here and walking several miles along the highway, which I've done many times, out of the countryside to get to the nearest bus stop is absolutely brutal if not dangerous in the summer heat. The every day solace and lack of stimulation of a homebody drives me literally insane. I can't handle the depression, I can't handle the lack of achievement or activities. I'd fucking kill myself if I knew I had to live my whole life like this. Even worse, my parents seem oblivious, if not almost supportive of this problem as they condemn most ideas of escaping this lifestyle and do not support me much when it comes to seeing any friends or getting a job most places. Fuck, they don't even want me to get a job or a driver's license. Their idea of successful parenting is priming me to ship me off to college, and that's all. That shit doesn't fucking work! My sister has her HS diploma and now they're not even concerned with her future. Just like me, she doesn't even have her driver's license and she's 21. She at least works though and is in a relationship, and she doesn't have a criminal record like me.
Anyway, I'm not necessarily looking for validation like an emotional pussy. I want to get out. I don't know where to start if I can't get a job. I need advice, /hikki/, whether it's coping advice, dealing with depersonalization, getting a job, or something. I can't stay in rock bottom. I'm not meant for this lifestyle, and if I stay here, I'll only end up taking a knife to my throat.


I need help.
R: 1 / I: 0
I'm no longer a NEET/Hikki after about 2/3 years and time began flowing completely different for me. Everyone said when you're at work and it's busy time flies but that's the opposite. It's like time is in a stand still. What feels like 40 minutes it only 5.

In general time feels so much longer now that I have things I have to do. An hour feels so long while I'm getting ready for work. I'm always early because of it. As a NEET everyday sort of blurred together and time went by extremely fast even when I mostly sat around doing nothing all day.

Does anyone else have something similar happen? It's been jarring for me since I thought I'd have no time to myself but now I can barely get through that time.
R: 1 / I: 0

opening up vs pushing on

i'm looking for some perspective, as i'm not really sure where my life will be going.

i am about to enter for-real neetdom for the first time in my life, but i know my parents will not let that be the case for long. i don't want to get too detailed, mostly because a lot of it isn't relevant, but my relationship with my parents got really fucky when i first hit puberty. i couldn't explain why i was feeling the way i was, so i would lock myself in my room and shut them out. they didn't understand what was happening, some bad stuff happened over time, but after 3 years of constant fighting they gave up on me.

they still don't understand why i am the way i am, which is my fault for never letting them. thanks to something that happened during the years when we were fighting pretty much any sense of trust i had in people in real life was shattered. but i am about to drop out of college, i've never worked before, and i can't drive. they don't understand that i'm not exactly doing the best mentally, they've always thought of me as lazy. because of this they'll want me to get my shit together, but i genuinely don't feel like i can.

i guess my question is whether or not i should show them that i am not well. i don't think a shrink would have anything worthwhile to offer me, but i think going though all the bullshit get better type stuff would be infinitely better than continuing on day to day ready to fucking blow my brains out. i'm not exactly sure how i would muster up the courage/design a situation to show them i am currently not fit to live a "normal" life, and, beyond that, i don't know if they would believe me or care. right before my parents completely gave up on my i told my mom that i wanted to die and that i think seeing someone would be good for me, which was pretty much the only insight i gave her into how i was feeling. she told me to take a shower and "just cheer up."

it's feels like a bit of a miracle that i haven't had a serious break down or anything like that, but i don't think i can keep existing this way.

does your family know how you feel? do they accept it?
R: 41 / I: 11
If you have add or are impulsive and you feel that is holding you back from starting to look for a job, take medication. (I took Concerta personally)

Improve yourself. YOUR GOAL AS A NEET IS TO MAKE YOUR BODY AS HEALTHY LOOKING AS POSSIBLE. The point is that self betterment improves confidence and lessens your social anxiety lessens. Trust what I say.

Keep your skin clean by exfoliating (I use baking soda and water) and then moisturize everyday TWICE.

If you are overweight, eat less (no high calorie foods). Exercise focusing on high repetitions and drink a lot of water to fill your stomach.


If you are underweight and a girl, you are in the clear, it's a good thing. (As long as it isn't anorexia or something, I personally don't have much help for that)

If you are underweight and a guy, like myself, drink whole milk (half a gallon a day, or a full gallon if you are serious about gaining weight) for a couple months on top of your existing diet. And 2-3 full meals a day. I personally recommend getting a big bag of white rice and stock up on chicken breasts. Do pushups and squats everyday and get into lifting.

I focuse here on nutrition because that is that core of your mental health and physical health. It will makes you think better and look healthier. Combine this with exercise and your social anxiety problems will fade away as you notice improvements. Soon you will put your struggles behind you and be laughing as your confidence starts a positive feedback loop.

Get the ball rolling and it will motivate you to continue.

Sorry for soundling like a huge fucking normie but I want to help anyone as much as possible.
R: 34 / I: 15

Positive Things Thread

Hey /n/, gotta wonder has anything good happened to y'all lately? Could be as minor as remembering a funny event from a manga or something huge. I'm curious.
R: 5 / I: 3

I'm confused

Hello there, posting here because I kinda need to talk about this with someone, hope this is not a problem.

I have been working for some months, but decided to quit in some days because.. I don't really feel like keep going on.
I always had different kinds of social problems, and I really have more than one emotional problem for the job I have right now, which was pretty much the same for school. Sadly, I never took the courage to tell this to someone, so I'm kinda stuck in a situation where I don't know what to do.

Now that I was able to buy some new consoles for entertainment, and some new equipment for digital drawing, I'd really prefer to stay at home, while I have the opportunity to do so. I still live with my parents, and my mother told me to rethink about my decision, and she pretty much assumed I took the decision just out of lazyness, which I don't think is true..
What is true, however, is that I won't have any more income to buy games/fun things, and it would be hard to find another job, for the situation I'm in.

I really love drawing, but I'm one of those persons who kinda needs time; I can never put myself to drawing after eight hours of work because I just wanna relax.

if you were me, what would you do? what do you think about all of this? Thank you for answering in advance.
R: 4 / I: 0
31, barely working, living in mothers basement, Constantly sick with an unclassified autoimmune disease, in a state of decline. Spend most of my time laying down while browsing useless things on the net or playing free apps. Considering suicide daily.
R: 1 / I: 1 (sticky)

Welcome to the NHK v2 aka The Rules

From now on, the >>>/rec/ board should generally be used for conversations about recovery from NEETism. This is not a hard rule but you are likely to have a better experience.

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.

Why not make these changes in place on /n/?
Because there were a huge amount of topics and posts on /n/ that didn't fit in with the rules and purpose of /hikki/, and we didn't want sift through all of them and try to move them or make judgments. We also didn't want them staying around as a poor example of what would be allowed under the new rules. A lot of content on /n/ was mean-spirited, off-topic, or patently useless, and we wanted to seal this content in the annex rather than leaving it be or deleting it.

But I liked x thread on /n/!
Then post a link to that thread in the Thread Move Requests sticky on this board, and the staff will look it over. If it belongs here it'll be moved here, otherwise we'll probably move it to /ot/.

What is a NEET anyway? What is a Hikikomori?
NEET is an acronym, which stands for "Not in Education, Employment, or Training." Basically it's someone who is not a part of the work cycle of society. A Hikikomori on the other hand (abbreviated hikki) is someone who seals themselves inside their home and does not leave at all for any reason, generally for 6 months or more in the clinical definition. Some NEETs are hikikomoris, but not all hikikomoris are NEETs – for example, a hikikomori could work or take classes from home. Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties, and this can go hand in hand with the isolation often brought about by the NEET lifestyle.