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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1538657486258.jpg (306.95 KB, 2000x1333, 1505069042913.jpg)

 No.5143

How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now

 No.5145

That rooms looks comfy as fuck

 No.5148

>>5145
It looks like an overcrowded cluster fuck.

 No.5153

>>5148
This and unless there is an A/C unit, it must be humid as fuck in there.

 No.5155

>>5153
I think it looks cosy. I'm lucky enough to live somewhere colder and air con isn't a thing here so that wouldn't bother me!

 No.5156

I have the same story except for
>living at home is really appealing right now.
Being just a dead weight to my parents and having to deal with them every day is almost as bad of an perspective as getting a grunt job to afford a place of my own. I don't know man, I just don't know anymore. Maybe stuff like
- keeping in touch with friends
- going out, meeting up with people
- being part of a club, like a sports club
could help to prevent that. At least those are the things I stopped doing at some point.

 No.5162

>>5156
Yeah I like your advice of joining clubs and getting out of the house. I remember a time when I was a part of every kind of group out there and then I started to think "oh but that costs too much" or "that day doesn't suit me" instead of concentrating on all of the benefits. I agreed to teach kids to code once a week last night so I guess that's a start.

 No.5163

you cannot avoid it if you are predestined to be one
you can only delay it but eventually it will happen.
you either drop out of school/college or have burn out at work and just quit going there one day.

People like us were not meant to be alive. In free nature we would all be dead by age 15 or so. Society keeps us artificially alive and then mocks and critisizes us for not beeing like them.

 No.5164

>>5163
There's no such thing as, "not meant to be alive". Humans weren't, "meant", to exist either. Nothing has any kind of grander design behind it. It's do or die and that's up to you.

 No.5170

>>5156
>keeping in touch with friends
>going out, meeting up with people
>being part of a club, like a sports club
I currently do all that stuff but it's such a chore. I get super anxious so hanging out and doing "fun" stuff with people feels like an endurance test. My favorite part about social events is when they're over and I get to go home. But I keep on going to them anyway because I'm trying to not be a reclusive loner.

I wonder if it will ever get to the point where I actually enjoy this stuff. Right now, I don't. I'm too anxious to enjoy it at all.

 No.5172

>>5163
As much as I want to stay positive and pretend like this will never happen
>have burn out at work and just quit going there one day.
actually sounds like something that would happen to me. I really don't have the confidence and work ethic all the people around me have. I studied CS and all jobs related to it require you to be really "passionate" and basically eat, breathe and sleep coding. That's just not me. So many people from my course made pet projects and went to hacking parties for fun. I find all of that to be such a fucking chore. I force myself to do really basic projects but I have to google every line I type and errors just make me want to give up. I'm sure if you're working on something that's exciting to you, you'd take on more challenging stuff and solving errors would be fun. I feel like I'm going to be living a lie when I sit in interviews pretending that coding is my life. I can see myself only being able to pretend for so long and then having a breakdown tbh. Especially since I can't grasp basic fucking concepts.

>>5170
I get you. I find any kind of socialising exhausts me too. It takes a lot of mental preparation and I spend the whole time worrying about what other people think of me. It takes a lot to have to be the one who initiates the conversation or has to keep it going when the other person is really awkward.

 No.5179

>>5172
we are the same anon.
there was not a single thing in my life ever that I was passionate about. I would not even say that I am lazy because when I actually want to do something I can get myself to do it. I wonder how other people can be passionate about their work and do this stuff 40+ years, sometimes even until death. I know pension age people who go back to their work because for them it is too boring at home. Or if they do stay retired, they spend the entire day tinkering around with stuff in their gardens and making everything beautiful.

Sometimes I ask myself if I am just a bad person for not having this same level of enthusiasm.

 No.5197

File: 1540037689525.jpg (59.1 KB, 500x500, 4f0a6f71dcba9ed2cb524148f8….jpg)

>>5170
Keep it up! Of course you should do things at your own pace, but it's important to not stop doing them. Even if social interaction is exhausting to you, as it is to me, there will always be a desire to have exactly that. Once you lost your friends or grew to distant to colleagues, it becomes incredibly hard to satisfy this need and exchange becomes even more taxing. Solitude breeds illness.

I let myself go in the recent years. My body got older, but my mind even took a step back. Life goes on and it's up to us if we go along or stay were we are only to realize later how far we have fallen back.

Sometimes I remember stupid stuff I did out of over-excitement or clumsiness and the regret makes me want to throw up. It's no use to dwell on the past, if one just fuels anxieties with it. Sure, nostalgia can be nice once in a while. One should however not forget, that it is essentially a form of grief. Resorting to sorrow for means of pleasure will screw one up.

Ah, sorry, I'm just ranting. Have this picture of a comfy bedroom for compensation!

 No.5221

The best way to prevent yourself from becoming a hikikomori I believe is to force yourself into a routine that involves leaving your house daily.

It doesn't matter where. Go to the library, walk around the block, just do anything.

I so badly wish I could go back in time and make myself do that.

 No.5229

>>5221
I go outside and talk to people every single day and I still have terrible social anxiety. Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.

 No.5230

>>5229
>Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.
No, it doesn't. But it guarantees you'll just not turn out worse. And that isn't a small detail at all.

 No.5231

File: 1540251112859.jpg (144.5 KB, 500x334, good-cozy-bedroom-tumblr-3.jpg)

>>5179
Yeah, very relatable anon. I don't even have any hobbies which is depressing af. It means that you have no way to relax or calm yourself down after a stressful day. Trying to take up a hobby is sometimes even more stressful than doing nothing because I beat myself up over being bad at things. I'd be so embarrassed to go to a class or meet up. I wish I had the passion of others in literally anything so I could have a job that I love doing or something that helps me unwind at the end of the day at very least.

>>5221
That's a really good point. Luckily I have a dog so I feel really guilty if I don't bring him out every second day. He always reminds me and it's impossible to refuse him.

 No.5372

>>5143
>hikikomori

OP there are no real Neets or Hikikomori on here everyone on here is larping or a normalfag giving shitty normalfag advice if you are looking for real Neets and Hikikomori try Wizardchan.

 No.5374

File: 1546064844044.png (Spoiler Image, 428.85 KB, 624x672, b32d3331ae18a4c2bf951e94ba….png)

>>5372
>Wizardchan
lol, ok faggot. I'm really sure op needs more bitter dickheads in their life.

 No.5376

>>5374

It is better than being in a community full of normals and people pretending to be Neet and Hikikomori even the definitions of Hikikomori and Neet in the sticky are incorrect.

 No.5377

>>5376
What are the definitions then? You're right. This is definitely a site for normals. I'm a really normal guy since I'm in college. I really fit into the crowd. I'm just a typical, average sort of person over here.

 No.5378

Apparently i'm such a normal fucking guy everybody. Did you hear that? There's absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about me.
>>5143
Keeping this on topic, stay the fuck out of communities that try to brainwash you into having a victim complex and blaming all your problems on some amorphous group, or society in general. Surround yourself with people who value financial independence, education and career development, rather than bad feels points.

 No.5379

>>5377


Neet is an acronym that comes from the UK. meaning (Not In Education Employment Or Training) it basically describes someone who doesn't have a job doesn't go to school and doesn't receive training basically the definition of Neet means not contributing to society a Hikikomori on the other hand is an extreme shut-n who stays at home and doesn't leave their bedroom for 6 months or more. I've seen many people on imageboards loosely define Neet and Hikikomori to mean something completely different if you look for work while you're unemployed you are not a Neet because you want to contribute to society and summer vacation away from school for 3 months does not make you a Neet either and leaving your house to go to school/work does not make you a hikikomori because most hikikomori are Neets unless they work or take classes online at home and it is not even not leaving your house in general hikikomori is not leaving your room inside your parents house for months or years very similar to agoraphobia although the conditions are not exactly the same.

 No.5381

>>5379
So your definition is exactly the same as the one in the sticky, but with a few arbitrary extra caveats like neets not even looking for a job or wanting to contribute to society, and hikkis being totally unwilling to their house/room out of fear. Why exactly do you get to make those calls? Who put you in charge of that? Which credible source agrees with that extra stuff? This bizarre elitism shows how far reaching human shittiness is.

 No.5382

>>5381

The Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare defines hikikomori as a condition in which the affected individuals isolate themselves from society in their homes for a period exceeding six months. The psychiatrist Tamaki Saitō defines hikikomori as “a state that has become a problem by the late twenties, that involves cooping oneself up in one’s own home and not participating in society for six months or longer, but that does not seem to have another psychological problem as its principal source.


The Hikikomori Criteria and Diagnosis

1. Spending most of the day and nearly everyday confined to home
2. A marked and and persistent avoidance of social situations and social relationships
3. Social withdrawal symptoms causing significant functional impairment
4. A duration of at least six months
5. No apparent physical or mental etiology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms

 No.5383

>>5382
>A Hikikomori on the other hand (abbreviated hikki) is someone who seals themselves inside their home and does not leave at all for any reason, generally for 6 months or more in the clinical definition. Some NEETs are hikikomoris, but not all hikikomoris are NEETs – for example, a hikikomori could work or take classes from home. Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties
>Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties
Oh, god forbid someone incorrectly uses a foreign medical term with very little recognition outside of one country. I was wrong, sure. I guess /hikki/ will have to be renamed /shutin/ because it's so full of fakers. This fixation on correcting labeling people feels like something out of tumblr. Sorry people are culturally appropriating your mental illness.

 No.5384

File: 1546072337266.jpeg (55.81 KB, 1280x720, d211d2ca8a924a9a5f6abfeff….jpeg)

>>5383
Proudly calling yourself a hikikomori is like walking around and proudly calling yourself depressed or schizophrenic which are not good things and obviously not things to be proud of also being a hikikomori isn't a mental disorder it is its own unique condition and group of symptoms that result in the effect of withdrawing from society mainly by the strict high pressure of Japanese society and hikikomori do exist outside Japan but they are extremely rare and that is why i say that to be classified as a hikikomori in the west you need to feel the unique stress and high pressure of japanese culture that tends to make people withdraw that is needed for the condition to be called as such but from a more western perspective also again they don't leave their rooms not their homes ROOMS hikikomori do everything in their rooms they piss in their rooms they eat in their rooms hell some don't even throw out garbage or talk to their parents at all and the parents leave food outside the bedroom door nobody on here is this dysfunctional of a human being you faggots are just average reclusive Neets.

 No.5385

>>5384
>Proudly calling yourself a hikikomori is like walking around and proudly calling yourself depressed or schizophrenic
>nobody on here is this dysfunctional of a human being you faggots are just average reclusive Neets.
So you're not proud of it, but you get all pissy when people appropriate the title. Hmmm. You're not subject to the constant rigorous stresses of Japanese society either.
>hikikomori do everything in their rooms they piss in their rooms they eat in their rooms hell some don't even throw out garbage or talk to their parents at all and the parents leave food outside the bedroom door
That's definitely not part of the criteria. So you're not proud of it, but you like to flaunt around the specifics of your dysfunction. Is a hikki who's willing to piss in the bathroom less of a hikki? Is there a system of hikki ranking? What's your rank? Another aspect of Japanese society is the general willingness of family members to accommodate all of these needs. Plenty of people here would just throw them out and take legal actions if needed, especially if they demand their food be delivered to them. Or they'd turn the power off. Hikki's probably spend their time online or playing vidya after all. Honestly faggot, get over yourself and learn how to sage too. I'm not even a neet by the way.

 No.5386

>>5384
That's surely a long sentence

 No.5387

File: 1546074828880.jpg (83.32 KB, 640x480, 9b9873450f6656e96e691fe4f4….jpg)

>>5385

I wasn't even trying to sage the thread to begin with also to respond to your point that's why i said from a more western perspective social and societal pressure exist everywhere anon therefore due to society's social and societal pressures anyone could become a hikikomori regardless of what country they live in but you are correct that in most western countries parents wouldn't enable this behavior and that's why i said while hikikomori do exist outside Japan they are extremely rare and of course i am not proud of it it is not something to be proud of however i just accept the fact that it is who i am. As far as people appropriating the term well wouldn't you get mad too if you were dealing with a psychological problem and people were running around on the internet calling themselves that psychological problem because they think it is a cool new buzzword or an alternative lifestyle which it isn't so i have every right to be offended it literally is no different than someone running around yelling hey everybody i am depressed isn't that cool? hell yeah LOLOL it is disrespectful to those who actually suffer with the condition i have Japanese hikikomori friends and they hate people like you guys because they see it as a form of mocking and disrespect also yes a hikikomori can leave their room to use the bathroom and some do leave the house for necessities or emergencies at night.

 No.5388

>>5387
>hikikomori friends

 No.5389

>>5387
Aside from the rare person who calls himself a "semi-hikki", I don't really see people going around here calling themselves a hikkimori. The board's called /hikki/, but that's pretty much it. Where did you hear this was a site dedicated to that very specific group of people? Where does it claim that? You're making up an issue because you can't handle how this site deals with these types of issues and that the people giving advice don't themselves have said issues, which makes no sense to me. That's what you're really offended by and you said as much in your first post. You're driving this thread off-topic for the sake of bitching about your own personal problems with ubuu and insulting the users. If you don't like it here, fuck off back to your wizchan circlejerk.

 No.5390

>>5389

Almost every single english speaking Neet and hiki community is full os normalfags and people pretending anon.

 No.5391

File: 1546079133201.jpg (822.55 KB, 1280x1024, cirnofeet.jpg)

Jesus, I thought we already got over this truneet / semihikki ordeal. Truth is, most users here don't really relish in feeling like a loser, if you've inspected the catalog. There are feel threads but most look over to the positive pasture instead of whining about wageslaves. Some are content with what they have and would like to remain on the status quo, and that's fine, we don't give them shit. If you want to discuss bodypillows, onaholes or you just want to vent, that's fine, you can do it here. If you want to incessantly whine in a srs_bsns manner on how jews/females/trannies/niggers/normies are Satan, then maybe Ubuu is not your cup of tea.

Thread is locked as its derailed too far, feel free to start a new thread with the same topic. Anyone that tries to derail future threads under the pretense of NEET/normalfag crusades will be dealt with more harshly from now on.



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