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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1446176365192.gif (364.6 KB, 500x281, tomoko.gif)

 No.326

Since the beginning of my NEET status, there's one thing that's always bothered me: the percieved lack of a reason to exist.

I just feel guilty, being such a burden. It wouldn't matter how much those that care of me would be willing to accept it. I really haven't changed since last year, and I'm starting to feel really bad about it.

How do you work through it, fellow NEETs? What do you tell yourself is the reason that you should continue breathing the next day?

I'm not considering suicide, this is simply the most relatable image of Tomoko I found, but I'm definitely not feeling great.

 No.327

Hey man, try to volunteer or something. Put a smile on someone's face. Lend an ear.

I dunno, just throwing ideas around. Me? Well, working for the gov is ok, but I plan to return to neetdom next year

 No.328

File: 1446181915213.gif (1.85 MB, 299x248, 1422420183451.gif)

I just befriend a few other NEETs I met online and we talk about random shit all day. I'm simply a tool for more escapism for others and myself.

Or sometimes I buy random stuff online or go for a walk.

All I'm doing is finding new means of escapism.

 No.329

I don't really know what to do all day anymore, I can no longer play the online game I play and I'm not really interested in any other games, I pretty much just cook, take care of my skin, watch anime and then sleep. What do?

 No.330

>>326
Well first, the uncertainty and thought of what might come after death is enough to dissuade me from looking further into it.

I guess I live to feel things. Watching anime, playing video games, listening to music and spending time around places such as this; sometimes these experiences make me feel something that's worth living for. It seems to get rarer and more diluted as I overdose on these activities of mine, but as that happens my only choice is to delve further in and take more and more in the hopes I might find what I'm looking for. It's a vicious cycle. Sometimes it gets worse and some days better. Sometimes an amazing new video game will come out (rarely these days) or I'll discover and old band I've never heard of and a trove of fantastic albums spanning multiple decades.
It feels so good to find that feeling, but then I worry if I'll ever be able to find it again, or replace it with something better? What if anime has peaked or I've just become too far gone with cynicism that it's all down hill from here? I have so much life left to live and what if I spend the next 60 years reminiscing on the first 20?
Uh, but yes. Consuming media and the high that comes with it. 17TB+ of data so far. Also I started smoking more weed but can't find any more now. It was really helping me feel something when I was empty and starting to sleep during the day out of boredom. Hope I can get some more.

 No.331

being a NEET has relieved me of a lot of guilt. I was a horrible person before I shut myself off, and now I'm working to become a better one.

yeah, I feel like a parasite but i'm happy that i'm no longer on a path that eventually leads to life in jail or death.

 No.332

>>330
This is basically my problem with people. I used to be excited talking to people but everything and everyone bores me these days. However, this one time a few years ago, I found someone that didn't bore me and it resulted in me making a slew of dumb decisions.

 No.333

>>332
Yeah, although I guess I "enjoy" what I do I feel like it would be nice to find something at least slightly more "meaningful" to live for.
I want to create things, I suppose because I feel like my life will have more meaning and be more important should it effect the lives of others, but creating anything worthy takes skill, motivation and time; motivation in nearly all things being most lacking for myself.

Care to elaborate on your "dumb decisions"? What better place to share than an anonymous imageboard?

 No.334

>>332
That's exactly what's happening to me. I used to be so extrovert and sociable and now I find more and more boring having to speak with people because I feel I don't care at all at what they might be saying. Not always, though, there's still some people with whom I enjoy talking.

 No.335

>>332
>>334
Are people getting more boring? Do you think you are getting more boring too?

 No.336

>>335
I don't know if they're getting more boring or it's me that I feel many conversations like small-talk and in the last few years I've grown to hate small-talk. Perhaps I'm getting more boring, too, don't know, or it's because as time passes my interests differ more from most people I know irl

 No.337

>>335
In my case, I'd say it's both. Although I have to say I'm fine with small talk…since it's more easy to coax by just by feigning interest. What's especially bothersome to me is when boring people try to have "deep& meaningful" convo and I'm just like "ugh not this agan", because even in conversations such as that people say the same things over and over again.

>>333
It's a long story, sorry about that in advance.
I was in art school and everyone around me was either dumb, shallow or pretentious.
The person that interested me was my philosophy and media theory/studies teacher. I got overly excited over his classes because, hey, over analyzing popular media through the lens of philosophy WAS THE MOST FUN I'D EVER HAD IN A LONG TIME. So of course, I fell in love, and because I was a dumb fuck I 1.switched majors and 2.broke up with my boyfriend of 4.5 years. (Although I'd harboured doubts about both my major and my boyfriend for a LONG time, even before that person showed up). In the end, nothing happened with my teacher, and all the changes my impulsive decisions brought into my life made me unable to graduate college. Being unable to graduate art school hit especially hard because it was the only place where I stood a chance to attain a diploma in higher education: due to my Asperger's Syndrome I've been mostly unable to study like a normal person would.

Well, creating stuff can be painful. Is all that pain worth it? I don't know. But not creating isn't an option for me either. In fact, because I arrogantly believe there are "things that only I can draw and write", it gives me some purpose in life. Currently I'm writing an semi-autobiographical comic and I hope to finish writing it by the end of December, so I can draw it starting from 2016.

 No.338

File: 1446673248765.jpg (44.36 KB, 600x399, deep-thoughts.jpg)

I just found people that were on my level and started hanging out with them, and eventually we moved in together. (Your results may vary.) To do that, I talked to people on the Internet (mostly Uboachan and IRC) and then organized offline meets with those people and eventually met their friends and made a network of people. Networking will vastly increase your chances of success/survival, and offline meets always work out for me.

As for a purpose in life, that's been difficult, and I get frustrated about it too. Running Uboachan and my IRC network and helping my friends are all important things that I do, but none of them feels like an overarching purpose. To be honest, I think a lot of people go through life without finding one, they just don't worry about it all the time because their heads work differently than mine or they've learned to cope with it somehow.

For now I'm going to try going back to college and see if that gets my gears turning again. I think that maybe the depressing feelings of not having purpose will dissipate if I just get myself doing something useful on a consistent basis rather than sitting around all day, and that'll buy me more time and happy feels to find a real purpose.

 No.339

>>337
No need to apologise for long stories, it's not your fault that the story I asked for is a long one.
Thanks for sharing it though, and your comic sounds like it could be interesting.
So what happens after that? Did you go back somewhere and study more? Or are you going though a NEET period as your work on your book?

Also, this idea of
>there are things that only I can create
is very interesting and now something I'd considered. I think it might have even stirred some kind of feeling inside me. Being that I hate the idea of missing out on anything and love collecting all sorts of data, it would be a tragedy if only something I could create was lost because I never created it. Being that every human has a relatively unique combination of experiences in some way there must be something I can contribute. Something of interest to someone.
"Something only I can do"… gives me something to think about at least. Somewhere to look. Thanks a lot.

 No.340

File: 1446939395828.gif (3.44 MB, 280x208, 1429553489652.gif)

>>338
>and eventually we moved in together.
That seems interesting how did you manage to get other people to move in?

 No.341

>>340
>That seems interesting how did you manage to get other people to move in?

Because their current living situations were totally fucked at the time and they needed a way out in order to survive. We all benefited each other by moving in together. That's how a roommate works.

 No.342

>>341
>and they needed a way out in order to survive
I guess it could happen.

 No.343

>>339
Glad I could do something, anon. I like to believe there's an interesting story inside every person, no matter how banal or dull one might seem on the surface.

As for my current activity, I have art classes every Saturday, and some sort of cooking-related training on Tuesday. Used to have Japanese private lessons through Skype on Monday but it's expensive so I quit that for now. But I want to resume lessons again in 2016!

 No.344

Just keep yourself distracted with something else, be it movies, video games, programming, whatever.

 No.345

>>343
Do you post your work anywhere?

 No.346

File: 1447336934066-0.jpg (114.27 KB, 640x640, 1430343752716.jpg)

File: 1447336934066-1.jpg (12.63 KB, 278x278, 1413523304329.jpg)

I'm a married NEET and my life is pretty much doing house chores, doing things on computer and being a cumdumpster. I don't have friends and my husband is my only source of social interaction. I can live with that and kill myself if he dumps me because I'm an useless leech.

 No.347

>>346
I wish I were you ;7;

 No.348

>>347
Try grooming yourself to look cute and finding a partner on internet. It worked for me.

 No.349

File: 1447377317013.png (173.42 KB, 278x428, 2015-11-08_22-59-52.png)

>>346
>tfw my waifu isn't 3D so this could be my life

 No.350

File: 1447422045027.jpg (68.06 KB, 360x360, 139186813956.jpg)

>>349
You can date >>347 and live the dream

 No.351

File: 1447438402248.png (364.51 KB, 629x676, 2015-04-27_10-52-03.png)

>>350
Disgusting. I'm already with my husbando and I wouldn't want to be with anyone but him I just wish he could bring in the money while I did housework.

 No.352

File: 1447499926227.jpg (467.69 KB, 800x615, 144231612382.jpg)

>>351
Do your best to support his career and when he has enough for the both of you, suggest being at home so you can support him full time.

 No.353

File: 1447668398694.jpg (856.66 KB, 1000x1421, Hiroaki Samura (9).jpg)

>>345
I do: http://cosmopoo.tumblr.com/tagged/doodle
Totally different from what I made at school though!

>>346
You're living the dream for sure. I tried to do the same thing recently but got a lot more then I bargained for. I was was just looking for a guy to leech off of, now I'm in a passionate (AND ANXIETY INDUCING) relationship with a philosopher that hardly has any money. GREAT.

 No.354

>>350
The thought of having someone like that is appealing, but how likely are they to be cute and interesting to want to live with? Much less to be able to empathize with to the point of supporting each other like that.
Supporting someone just so you can have use of their body is pretty shameful.

 No.355

File: 1447684379282.jpg (16.69 KB, 400x258, st00pid.jpg)

>>354
I am cute and interesting

 No.356

I'm presuming a bit, but new people are usually nice either way. You have an email you'd want to drop for a random anon?

 No.357

>>353
Boy you're full of stories. The one of how exactly you found the guy also sounds interesting. Also your Akagi is nice.

 No.358

I've been neet for way to long, I'm 23 now and have been one for years. I tried to break out of it when I was still a teen, but failed.

I have nothing to show for the past 6 years of my life, no friends/job/education. nothing.

 No.359

File: 1447772494092.jpg (103.12 KB, 720x715, https://41.media.tumblr.co….jpg)

>>357
Thanks. After the Akagi drama aired I was really into series again LOL

Warning for TL;DR AND TMI:
As for how I met my current BF, I signed up for a dating site. Figured that if I'm gonna be NEET I might as well try settle for someone like my ex (mild-mannered programmer) who I could mooch off of, even if those aren't the most exciting types. Since I have a vagina and like vidya I quickly got a ton of messages from such geeky types, and I soon went on dates, ranging from akward to boring. But as they say, third time's the charm. Before we met I had no idea what to expect. He was anything but boring, and after the first date, we agreed I'd come visit him in a week. Didn't fool around yet then. But second date I confessed to him "I'm a masochist" and before I even realise it I'm getting choked, slapped, hair pulled, underwear stuffed in my mouth, etc. All the things I wanted but never expected to ever get. Next morning the condom tears and we have to go out for a morning after pill. And I tell him I had it before, after I was raped while in Japan. The night before I implied as much but it was apparantly too subtle and he went quiet. While I was at it I figured I might as well tell him about my Asperger's. Didn't go over so well either LOL. There's also cultural differences and an intellectual gap. For us both, English is our second language. But he's a scholar, so he's used to conversing in university level English, whilst I learnt my English from VIDYA and the net. That, and living as a NEET for several years multiple times has NOT helped me develop into a well-rounded adult. I have a huge complex about, and meeting one of his best friends from uni made my anxiety even worse. I felt like a bumblibg idiot. So I'm struggling to match up to him intellectually, even considering going to uni for Philosophy, but I think it will destroy me.

In a short period of time we've done things people normally do in months or years. But even though I feel like it's not gonna end well, at least I feel like I'm alive.

 No.360

>>359
It's a good one, even if extremely over the top and things take forever to happen, almost like the weeb equivalent of an old radio drama but with jewbeaks and sweat.

Nice. Sounds rather unstable to be expected to last in the long term but real nice. Good luck. If it's any consolation it seems to be unreasonably hard for anyone contemplative and brighter than average to find people to relate to perfectly anyway; I wouldn't get too hung up on the gap, otherwise that insecurity is more likely to screw it all up than the difference itself is. Especially if you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy, IE "well of course it'll break apart eventually".

As for myself, well, I can actually relate to your perception of others. I grew up really isolated and came to the conclusion that I'd missed out on a lot of the potential that lies in my youth.

Then I actually got out and met people and realized most of them are boring as hell, dim and I can barely relate to them anyhow. So I live with the goal of finding someone I can relate to and talk to constantly about deep shit, someone to support and support me, because that seems like really all you need.
(.. And as I say that I realize I may sound like some of the people you knew in art college, but oh well.)

Then my first real shot at that is fucked up and I get extremely depressed and wonder if I can find anyone else like that. But allowing yourself to be self-pitying and just do nothing, regressing in other words, you can kiss your chances of finding someone like that goodbye anyway.

My reason for continuing is some combo of that and wanting to write more. That and the fear of the eternal unknown which drives people to impose meaning where there is none. Suicide has always seemed on some level silly.

 No.3664

>>359
>raped while in Japan
I thought Japan is one of the most civillized places on earth where even the homeless are not dangerous. Really makes you think

>>326
the lack of reason comes from not having anything left. If you don't have a job, a romantic partner, a social circles, a hobby you enjoy nor goals in life there is nothing left to stay motivated for. Your reason for living on is nothing more than a derivative of those mentionned things or other things with similar characteristics

 No.3665

>>3664
>I thought Japan is one of the most civillized places on earth where even the homeless are not dangerous. Really makes you think
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsutomu_Miyazaki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaoru_Kobayashi_(murderer)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sada_Abe

They have fuckers just like the rest of the world, the thing is that the numbers are among the lowest when compared to other countries, and the death sentence keeps people from doing really crazy shit.

 No.3670

don't feel guilty, guilt is a fake man made emotion, we only feel guilty about things that make us feel happy and free, i am a proud welfare leech

 No.3677

>>3670
That's just a mental-cop out. Is there a difference between a, "fake", emotion and a real one? Being a person whose death would benefit society isn't something to be proud of. Well, whatever gets you through your day I guess.

 No.3713

File: 1502790758957.jpg (40.93 KB, 500x286, bubble gum.jpg)


>>326

what do you mean burden? you are a burden by normie standards. But standards of the society is you are a burden the second you are not contributing anything to others. Its sick altruism that you shouldnt feel bad for ignoring.

w i z a rd

 No.3714

>>3713
No. You got it wrong. You're a burden if you're a burden. If you have enough money to pay for your own living expenses without relying on anybody else, normies wont think badly of you. Hell, they'll probably be jealous. If taxpayers have to take part of their paychecks and give it to you so you can keep buying vidya and consuming the planet's oxygen and limited resources, or your parents have to do it instead, obviously they'll think you're a burden. Even if you just live in the woods and scour for food, they wont they you're a leech unless they're a communist.

 No.3715

>>3714
>normies wont think badly of you. Hell, they'll probably be jealous
One thing doesn't contradict the other though.

 No.3716

>>3715
Huh. yeah. I guess I should have said that not only will they not think badly of you, they might also be jealous. People tend to dislike people who they're jealous of though. Well, they wont think of you as a, "burden", at least.



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