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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Sup everyone. I'm a longtime on and off lurker and recovering hikki/NEET that's nearing thirty. Looking for advice or insights on my current situation, or just shared experiences…

I've started working recently and I don't know what to do to improve my current situation. It's a menial job at a restaurant and busy days can be pretty tough, I don't want to keep doing this forever, but I don't have much in the way of qualifications. Nor am I a very able person, I've been a NEET for more than 50% of my life and lacking in a lot of common life skills, partially due to Aspergers Syndrome and possible mild narcolepsy.

I was thinking of going to university but my track record regarding my educational career had been so poor I'm afraid to do so, also I feel I might be too old, and the thing I want to study hardly guarantees a successful career. At least I'm lucky to live in a country where education doesn't cost an arm and a leg, I can afford it without going into debt.

All I do these days is work, eat, sleep, play vidya and study a little Japanese. My shitty work schedule means I can hardly go out to meet my friends. I'm sorry for being incoherent, if you read my gibberish thank you. tldr; my life sucks mildly: what do?? Especially to people that managed to crawl out of their hell holes to improve their lives. How did you do it?


Looks like you already have an option opened up for you. Go learn nip and take those nip exams to qualify you or something. You can probably net a good job with that. I wouldn't bother going to a university if I'm nearing 30 and all I have is a shitty restaurant job.


If you're going to learn nip, keep going with it. Maybe allocate more time doing it? The more practice you get, the better. You don't even have to confine yourself to practicing it only at home. Other than that, why is your academic record so poor? Do you have any idea?


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I don't know how much use Niponese skills are in the job market honestly… Although I've been thinking of scanlating porno doujin and manga for awhile to make some cash on the side. I also did porn art commissions for awhile but I don't feel confident enough to continue.
It's mostly because of disability and depression that I fucked up in academics and life so badly.

All things said I tend to either spend all of my free time gaming OR learning Japanese so it's mostly a matter of just… Not touching any videogames.


Try using the nip skills as your foot in the door, not exactly your endgame.
I know a few anons who've gotten their license in their home countries and got their Masters degree in Japan and they are living pretty comfortably now.


>not wanting to keep doing this forever
when I started my last job, I also told myself this. One day I quit. At first it felt good but after some years I understood what I lost and that an oppurtunity like this or a job as good as this I will never get again. Therefore think twice before you do anything you regret later.

>nearing 30

I am as well. I cannot imagine how people do 70, 80 or 90 years. I was depressed since early 20s and since age 25 I am suicidal. Every day is just so tedious I wish it could all just end so I can finally be released of this stress.

I mean, what am I even supposed to do for another 50 years? There is not even enough escapism left for me for 5 years.


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I like that image, it reminds of two great brothers from a time long past. Also, Mandarin is probably much more useful to learn if you're already going to such lengths.


Not for games and that kind of stuff. He already started learning Japanese, so changing now would be unnecessarily frustrating. With Japanese, you kill two birds with on stone, even if it may be less useful for career stuff. The two don't translate that well to each other actually.


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>The two don't translate that well to each other actually.
They actually do, I can read chinese with some ease even though I have no idea how to pronounce it simply because I can read (the meaning of) kanji and I know the basic grammar. At the very least, they translate much better than JP->EN or ZH->EN. It's kind of like spanish and italian.

If we're speaking of business, how important it is to know "this" or "that" language depends exclusively on the field you're working. On science, english, french and german are prevalent. If you're dealing business with Asia (as in, working as an interpreter for a company that exports/imports to/from Asia), then it makes sense to learn CKJ, but otherwise it's pretty pointless on almost any other area (I'd be interested if anybody has anything to add here, though).


Yeah, well unless you know the Chinese pronunciations, you're kind of dead in the water. How similar are their grammatical structures?


This. I have no first hand experience with Chinese, but Kanji "transferring" from Japanese to Chinese is a pretty spotty statement. I can say the grammatical structure of Korean is similar to Japanese, so OP can always set down on that path if he wishes to. South Korea is also a recent economic juggernaut so there's always that added bonus.


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>This. I have no first hand experience with Chinese, but Kanji "transferring" from Japanese to Chinese is a pretty spotty statement.
I disagree, for the following reasons (keep reading).

>Yeah, well unless you know the Chinese pronunciations, you're kind of dead in the water.
I was just implying that the shift isn't technically that dramatic; although of course, if you're like me and don't like chinese that much to actually go as far as suffering with the pitch pronounciation, it's not worth the hassle. That depends on the person, though.

>How similar are their grammatical structures?

Japanese can be thought as a Subject->Object->Verb language (SOV), while chinese is a Subject->Verb->Object (SVO) language. So, Japanese is like Latin and Chinese is like french/italian/spanish (or even english, if it comes to that). For example:

Japanese: 貞子はりんごを食べる [sadako wa ringo wo taberu] = "Sadako eats apple"

"Sadako" (personal name), "Wa" (particle to establish the topic, can be thought to mean "As for X/Speaking of X"), "Ringo" (Apple), "Wo" (particle to state the object; in this case, "ringo", apple), "Taberu" (Shuushikei, aka "dictionary form", of the verb "to eat").
Literally in english: "As for Sadako, apple eat" -> "[Speaking about] Sadako, [she is] eat[ing] [an] apple".

Chinese: 麗吃蘋果 [Lì chī píngguǒ] = "Lì eats apple"

Lì (personal name), "chī" (to eat), "píngguǒ" (apple)
Literally in english: "Lì eat apple".

In this example, chinese translates more 1:1 to english than japanese, but that's only because it's a very simple sentence.
There are many other differences (verbs get conjugated through particles instead of proper conjugation, some constructions differ slightly, some verb are different, like "taberu" and "chī" here, and even words like "ringo" and "píngguǒ"), but if you get them it's really easy to read chinese, or at least get a pretty good idea of what something says. Of course it won't be enough, but it's easier to learn Chinese if you know/understand japanese already than starting from zero.

Consider this chinese song:


I read it as follows:

"I" "Love" "Beijing" "Tian'an men",
"Tian'an men" "Over" "Sun" *A character not used in japanese*
"Great "Chief" "Mao Zedong" "Chairman"
"Finger" "pulling" "Us" "towards" "front/ahead" "Proceed"

And a rough translation as I understand it:

"I love Beijing Tian'an men (The Door of Heavenly Peace),"
"The sun over Tian'an men *something*,"
"Great leader Mao Zedong Chairman,"
"Pulls us towards the front (as in "makes us progress" sense)".

And this is the translation as provided by wikipedia:

"I love Beijing Tiananmen,"
"The sun rises above Tiananmen."
"The great leader Chairman Mao,"
"Leads all of us forward."

A pretty good guess, even if I say so myself. Tian'an men parses to japanese as Tian'an mon, and the translation is 1:1, while in english it gets ridiculously long (The Door of Heavenly Peace).
Now that I know that 升 is a simplified form of 昇 ("to rise"), I can easily see why it becomes "Over Tian'an Men, the sun rises". Comparing to the japanese grammar (天安門の上に太陽が昇ぼる), we can see it's almost be the same except for the kana (if we take it off, it becomes "天安門上太陽昇", vs "天安門上太陽升").
"Great Leader Mao Zedong Chairman" is, again, 1:1 with japanese in sense, while you have to work it a bit in english so it makes sense.
"Leads all of us forward" is very different of how I'd put it in japanese, but it is still fairly understandable.

Again, I'm only trying to point out that it isn't that painful to start leaning chinese if you already understand the japanese "touch" or are used to its quirks. It really depends on whether you want to do it or not.
Of course there are differences but they aren't really THAT big. Or at least, I don't see them.


I'd hate to drive things off topic, but since we're already here and op is nowhere in sight, i've been attmepting to learn Japanese for the last nine days(only able to start recently for various reasons). I've only memorized the kana and a few other very simple things. Would you say Tae Kim's guide is good? Also, is it better to learn kanji through radicals, and how would I do it?
Memorizing all 200 something radicals before any kanji seems a bit impractical, but if it's the best way… I really don't know where to go from here or what sort of vocab I should learn.


>Would you say Tae Kim's guide is good?
Yes, but don't depend only on it. Genki seems to be fairly recommended for starters, so I'd suggest that you read both at the same time. Also, You don't have to memorize every little thing on Tae Kim's guide; chances are that you won't really find some of the most complex forms in daily conversation/anime/VN's.

>Also, is it better to learn kanji through radicals, and how would I do it?

>Memorizing all 200 something radicals before any kanji seems a bit impractical, but if it's the best way… I really don't know where to go from here or what sort of vocab I should learn.
I'd recommend you to learn basic vocabulary, and decompose the kanji that forms it into radicals (and of course, to memorize said radicals). Another way of studying common kanji is using kanjidamage; it isn't perfect, but it's a fairly good resource because it goes from "simple" to "complex" kanji. Also, use some aid tool like anki.

But don't think of learning radicals as a hassle or some unnecessary bullshit; some of them are extremely simple to memorize and help a lot, some are very important when trying to pin-point the meaning of the kanji, and some are strong signs of how to pronounce the kanji. Maybe learning 200 or so is actually too much, but at the very least try to learn the most common 20 or so. Examples: ⻌ (path/way), 口 (mouth/to say/speak, strong pronunciation), 囗(box/country), 又(it's just common, generally doesn't convey meaning), マ (ditto), 广 (ditto), 疒(associated with illness), 目(associated with eyes/sight), 宀(common), ⺾(associated with grass/herbs), ⺘(associated with hands/things to do with hands),⺡(associated with water),⺨(associated with animals),⺣(fire-related), etc.


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op here. Still learning niponese on and off but also gained an addiction to mobage to deal with the stress of work.

I'm quitting, I hope I won't regret it as much as you do. I'm amazed I managed to hold out for as long as I did because the work is just way too stressful for me as all the burn marks on my arms can attest too. I look like a mangy dog now. It's a shame because even though the work is so hard I do like it, and I like most of my coworkers. But the bad management and understaffing cause so much stress in everyone and especially the souschef has a really bad habit of lashing out and bullying us. It's too much for me. Gonna talk with my boss asap about quitting, I want to leave as clean as I can and in good spirits (!?)


We're in a similar situation, even if I'm somewhat your junior at only 24.
I was very glad to have gotten this job after having been a NEET for several years, but now a year later I can feel the dread of life creeping back in. All my time is spent either working or exhausted from work, but the days I have off are even worse because I come face to face with the fact that I don't really have any hobbies any more. Sometimes I think I can't go on like this, but in reality it's probably going to be the rest of my life.


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Hopefully I don't sound too saccharine, but congrats on making it to a year of work. That's a goal I'd like to reach some day. Similarly I find myself too exhausted to even indulge in any hobbies.

In the end I decided not to quit my job, but I went to negotiate a contract for less hours. I hope that will enable me to pick up artistic activities again because I've had to cancel three conventions since starting my job. That really bummed me out. Being able to support myself on art 100% on art is a pipe dream though, I'm aware of that. But if I can do the part timer life whilst making extra cash on the side doing what I love, I might be able to hold out for some time. And I should really quit all these mobage that I'm playing to cope.


Same spot. One year ago at that time I was getting desperate, because I couldn't find a job, now I'm getting desperate, because I don't want to work anymore and I'm basically sterile in terms of hobbies and enjoyment of life.
I'm thinking of buying a patch of forested land and trying to connect with the nature in small steps.
Maybe that's why everyone's so hyper about the whole travel thing. It's just escapism into reality, because realism into video games and fiction just doesn't cut it for me, and I'm not even 27.


Working shorter hours is a compromise I would love to make. In my case (I work contracts) I'd have to spend more time at home than at the workplace (even though I work 50/50 - on average I spend 42 hours working weekly, every single week of the year), but this is not happening as long as the guy I switch hates my guts.


your posting hit me so hard in the feels

>I think I can't go on like this, but in reality it's probably going to be the rest of my life.

Until this day I cannot understand how normal people have the power to actually do this. How can someone endure this endless struggle and stress without collapsing from exhaust and mental breakdown.


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Man, thats a lot of hours :/
I'm lucky that I can still receive partial disability benefits in combination with my part timers salary, and my boss should receive a subsidy for employing a disabled person as well. So I hope they understand that if they want to keep me for a long time that I will need shorter and less irregular hours eventually. But my boss is kinda flaky so… Ugh… And then the souschef got angry at me again tonighf over a misunderstanding and now I want to cry

Travel is nice but only a temporary solution and when u have to go back to normal life its the worst, whether it's the neet life or job life, it sucks either way. I went to glorious nippon four times and while it's definitely not perfect, especially its society being kinda fucked up, I end up missing stupid small things like bottles of unsweetened green tea or barley tea that's so great for quenching ones thirst during hot days and now I wanna cry agaib


Yeah, it is a mystery to me, too. Most of my co-workers usually have some sort of financial drain deal going on (family, debt), so I guess it's easier to do something if you have no choice. I live pretty much only for myself (though that might change due to harsh times that seem ahead of my family), so I flirt with the ideas of dropping out of society.
Pay is decent, and that's pretty much the only thing that keeps me here. I'm a coward so I don't make big decisions like quitting hoping the next one will be better too often, especially when there's sure money involved. I wish I actually tried to develop some marketable skills like 3D modelling or programming, when there was time for that, I feel like the job I finished my university for is gonna be overrun with cheaper workforce once Boomers/Gen X guys quit/retire.
It's never too late to start, but I feel like I missed out on gravy train like patreon or android marketplace.
I would gladly work 40+ hours on my own projects if I were paid for it, even if it were much less of what I earn now. Working with people is just too much for me.


Or yeah, just working less. 1 month on: 2 months off and I would probably have an easier time handling it.


This would be the perfect solution to me.
Work a few months, then neet it up with your savings. Then come back again for money. The problem is that no company will hire you with this attitude. They want their slaves to be every day there for them. You can do it a few times then you will burn down all bridges and potential companies to work for. Maybe you even get on a blacklist. So basically your best bet is to slave away a few years, quit, live off the savings a few years then let nature take its natural course


I think people are missing the point here. Your reason for existence shoudln't be work unless it's something you're passionate about. If you're a prosecutor and you love fucking over criminals, you wouldn't have any problem with doing it constantly. That's one of the perks of getting an education. Otherwise though, you have to get some hobbies to give your life some purpose. Do something creative in your spare time. Shitty jobs aren't what people are meant to have their whole lives anyway. Pretty much everybody sees it as a stepping stone to something better. People are meant to build their career. Why do you think kindergarten teachers ask kids what they want to be? Firefighter, scientist, lawyer, doctor, etc.


If you move to some area with flourishing tourism, you could overwork yourself to the bone during the season as many people do and then live off that for the rest of the year.The job most people here turn to and one of the only ones where you can make a meaningful profit without investing too much is waiting tables / barrista, where you can make a pretty hefty profit off of tips alone in some places, but you can probably imagine how stressful it is, and it requires at least some semblance of social and motor skills. I couldn't stand it for more than a week even in a tiny restaurant. Expecting proficiency after 7 days of lifetime experience might be too much, but I'm still fairly certain that normal people aren't as clumsy or forgetful as I was. In short, I was pathetic. So choose with some thought.


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I just to Maine. What you described fits most of the people there. Working on a boat is another seasonal job that requires less on the fly social interaction. Don't know much about the pay, but I heard it was good.


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People are hell.
Working with people is hell.

The souschef just blew up at me again for??? Reasons I don't understand?? I have no idea what I did to get on his bad side. The boss is utterly confused about what is going on but we should be discussing it tomorrow. I'm tired of walking on eggshells when the souschef is here. Everyday I give it my best shot, and I understand that my 100‰ might look like someone else's 60‰, but I know that other people can see that I'm busting my ass off. It makes me sad, because I actually like the work and my coworkers, but it is not worth all the stress this is causing me. The souschef is an stubborn old guy and even if I explain about my disability tomorrow he is likely not going to change his mind about me :(


Does he treat everybody like that? How do the symptoms of your disability affect your behavior?


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Well, I don't want to get too much into it, but I may appear standoff ish or curt to some people. I get along fine with all off my other collagues however And yeah, he mostly seems to have it out for me. I try not to take it personal but I can't help but think he really detests me for being weird.

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