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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Around 10 years ago, I lived a very reclusive lifestyle and I was very miserable, I don't wanna go on details or to give away who I am, but something happened, something saved me from that, those years I worked hard on redoing my life, I got a job, a future, and became a better person, I had everything you could dream of that would make you happy, and more.
Now I lost all of it, and I'm scared I'll go back to how it was before, how do I go on? I'm not asking for back pats or pity, I just genuinely want to know how do you continue after losing everything.
I honestly want to, I am seeking professional help, and I try to stay focused at work, but nothing is working.

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Who is your favorite NEET Youtuber?
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maybe i just feel called out, but i am definitely a hikki even if i go to school. i don't leave the house when the semester isn't in session, unless i need to buy myself toilet paper or something (there is nobody around to do it for me). i don't speak to anyone. i go through life as a ghost to everyone else. you can definitely be in society while being withdrawn, in the same way you can sit in a pool without swimming.

thank you


>maybe i just feel called out, but i am definitely a hikki even if i go to school
Sorry, but that's not how it works. Stop labeling yourself with trendy words on the internet. You are probably asocial and have or aren't interested on interpersonal relationships, that doesn't make you a hikikomori.


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>reclusive adolescents or adults who withdraw from society and seek extreme degrees of isolation and confinement.

>do not work or go to school and isolate themselves away from society and family in a single room for a period exceeding six months.

Being insecure and depressed or socially inept doesn't make you a hikikomori, your situation may be bad but you have to descend way deeper in that rabbit hole to get there, and no, you don't want to. No one wants that crap.


> i am definitely a hikki even if i go to school

No you're not a hikikomori is a Japanese NEEt who doesn't leave their bedroom for six months.



Fucking this these stupid normies edgy 4chan kids and cringy depressed emo kids making videos on YouTube for money and attention need to fucking stop calling themselves Neet or hikikomori because they are NOT being a reclusive introvert or hermit doesn't make you a hikikomori and if you're working you're still contributing to society therefore you are NOT a Neet and yes YouTube while not a traditional job it is still a job regardless.

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I wanna know if anyone here has completely given up on finding a partner. I feel like maybe accepting the forever alone lifestyle could bring some comfort and maybe happiness into my life. Maybe im too weird and fucked up, and giving up hope is the right thing to do. Thoughts?
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I spent several years content with being alone, but that came to a halt when I got to know a nice woman. Now I'm in a bit of a quandary where I would greatly prefer being with her rather than being alone, but I don't think it has a chance of panning out for me.
I'd broadly say that >>5958 has the right idea, assuming you don't have a problem with being alone for a while. If you're lonely or fixated on one particular person, it would probably be better to take a more active approach.


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I'm pretty sure I'm unlovable. The problems start and end with me, and they're never going to get solved. I've had self-esteem issues for at least six years and I don't think they're ever going to go away, no matter how much I've achieved since they started (graduating summa cum laude hasn't helped at all). From what I've been told, that alone means I can't love others.
Do I even want to love someone? I'm not sure, but I can't help but feel left out when people mention relationships or dating.

I don't expect to have people throw themselves at me, that would be ridiculous. I wouldn't date myself, so why would anyone else? But I can't help but feel the 'advice' people try to give is largely useless. Being yourself doesn't work when yourself is a sad hikkineet with self-esteem issues and being someone your not just feels dishonest. Finding love when you're not looking for it hasn't worked in the 22 years I've been on this planet. The thing absolutely no one seems to understand is that not everyone has access to these fabled social activities they talk so much about. I have lived in a city of 250 000 for my entire life and not once have I come across anything that vaguely resembles what they're describing.

I guess giving up entirely and not letting it take up any headspace is my best option.


I never even tred to find love, so it isn't like I ever had to give up


I guess maybe?
The last person I "dated" lives overseas in Tokyo, but we talk sometimes. Her family liked me, I think, when I visited, but I've been really depressed for a hot minute, so I don't try to initiate relationships with other people. So it's not really that I believe myself an "incel" or whatever, it's more so I'm terrified of trying to get into something again.


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living in a place with no community is a hell in and of itself. People who just click in with society easily get access to a bombardment of new people and potential connections. I'm convinced that most people who have relationship problems, even those with mental health issues like myself just don't have access to enough new people to potentially connect with. After high school ends it's a wasteland, and depending on the geography of the high school it might have been a wasteland there too.

Here's some hope for you anon, if you want it. I was in the same boat for my whole life until this past year (am 22) when I met a girl through a mutual friend and we hit it off. Keep in mind I've only been friends with 3 girls my whole life and 2 of them before puberty (sadly don't talk anymore.) Lo and behold the 4th one I met wanted to be more than friends and things worked themselves out. We both have mental health issues but work with each other to get better. She cuts, I'm paranoid and have bad panic attacks. My paranoia has gotten better since being with her and she hasn't cut in months.

Whatever social outlets exist for you, if any, try to branch out beyond them. Being around the same people is great and all, and you should pursue life long friendships if people are chill and you want that, but the average social group only lasts 3-5 years and if it's not doing anything for you branch out. This can be online too if you don't go outside. I've had 3 online friend groups in the past 10 years and excluding a few keepers from them all they've all fizzled out.

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I was thinking about Youtubers, Twitch streamers and people who get paid for basically being on the internet and doing something that a monkey could.
These people could easily qualify as NEET, right? They spend up to 8 hours or more a day playing videogames or vlogging or something and most of their income comes from their fans.
Yet nobody really bats an eye at them other than the occasional angry dude that gets way too bent out of shape over people getting money from fans rather than employers. But with NEETs there's a higher level of stigma, telling them they're parasites and that they need to work on themselves and conform. Is the difference really as subtle as simply getting money? Or providing a service, even if it has little to no effect on society and the person's community?
What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?
Also have any NEETs here attempted this? Would you?
Is it viable? etc etc
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We live in weird times.


There are only two steps to becoming socially likeable.
1. Provide others with enjoyable and amusing reactions, making them feel as if their presence is enjoyed.
2. Never talk about yourself, ask lots of amusing questions, if asked provide very little and then spin the question their way.


>Never talk about yourself, ask lots of amusing questions, if asked provide very little and then spin the question their way.
I fucking wish it actually worked that way.


because a NEET is too afraid to show their face or voice on the internet


haven't attempted it, don't know how, but it's definitely a matter of income. money can erase any sin

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post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
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holy shit what a difference 6 months and good medication makes, im taking abilify which is spooky as fuck anti-psychotic medication but im microdosing it like people do with mushrooms/acid and stuff like that

oh im still NEET living off my dad's money but im planning on going back to school next year since ireland has programs for people who fucked up earlier in life, mature student path its called

there's always hope frens


You can do it


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I have intestinal issues, whenever I eat I have to lie down because of the pain. Great thing to have in addition to depression.


I'm starting to have issues with high iron, high cholesterol, high sugar, chest pains, breathing problems, fatigue, and insomnia. It doesn't help that I have plenty of mental problems. I've tried to go to a therapist before but I always freak out and can't handle it. I wouldn't go out of the house even to a doctor's appointment until recently which is literally the only place I go when I leave the house. It's been this way for about two years now. I've been trying to eat better in terms of my diet. I cut soda, have been eating more fruits as well as vegetables, and decreased eating red meat. I've been having a problem drinking more coffee now though in place of not drinking soda though. But I've had insomnia problems LONG before I even touched a cup of coffee. Ironically sometimes after drinking a cup of coffee and having a long piss session afterwards it'll put me right to sleep. Funny how coffee puts me to sleep sometimes and melatonin keeps me up for days.


I relapsed health wise and my dad is here minding me but I'm still doing pretty well

The 1 bedroom flat is fucking terrible but it'll do until a few months when I get a new place

Making lots of music now


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>Been a hikikomori for 11 years
>Been trying to recover for about 2 years now
>I feel like i want to die

I fucking hate my life can anyone relate??.
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I can kinda relate, as I got more into philosophy and especially Emil Cioran and Albert Camus… I just cannot find joy in the general meaningless of existence like Camus did. - It made me a bitter, depressed and cynical alcoholic instead. I mean sure, if nothing matters you can do whatever you want to and what feels right to you… But for what purpose? (Except shitposting on obscure imageboards)


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I'm finally getting out of that philosophical pit myself. From a secular perspective Einstein's theory of relativity could be taken as proof for a deterministic universe, implying that we don't have free will (this doesn't really matter tho,) destiny is real, and that eternalism is true. Time as our culture conceptualizes it is an illusion, it's simply how we perceive motion in the universe. In truth time "flows" both backwards and forwards infinitely and eternally meaning that our experience is immortal. Not in a literal sense, but literal immortality was always an illusion because life and death themselves are illusions.

If eternalism is true–we have no reason to doubt relativity as of now so it is–then that means that when we experience a preferable emotion like love, that love is experienced forever in that moment as the machinations of the universe run their deterministic formula for eternity. The inverse is also true, and "bad" experiences are eternal too. This is why it's all the more important that we seek and practice a moral and fulfilling existence so that our mark on the universe reflects well on our immortality. It doesn't matter that we don't have free will because we experience life as if we do. In that sense, should act as if it we do.

A Taoist might interpret this all and say that those who seek immortality in physical or illuminous form have not yet come to realizing the core-concepts of Taoism, as you only can endeavor to attain this kind of immortality, if you believe in the existence of time as as it is commonly understood. Only when people think reality is something that transits through time, does the desire to be physically or illiuminously immortal arise. More importantly, acceptance of one's place in the universe (the tao?) will lead to greater understanding, action and fulfillment. Acceptance =/= complacence, we can still change ourselves and act better when faced with adversarial or harmful conditions. Even when not challenged we can challenge our selves and strive for greater harmony in our being.

That's a rabbit hole to go down. I intend to read Heidegger's work at some point too as I've heard he also found a way out of this fatalistic pit of hyper-reductionist relativism.


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>From a secular perspective Einstein's theory of relativity could be taken as proof for a deterministic universe, implying that we don't have free will
Excuse me, what? Einstein's theory of relativity is a mathematical model for the space-time continuum, in what way does it prove there isn't any free will? You just use it to model mechanics in a super precise way.


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>Excuse me, what? Einstein's theory of relativity is a mathematical model for the space-time continuum, in what way does it prove there isn't any free will? You just use it to model mechanics in a super precise way.

If TOR is true then all physical interactions from the atomic to the macroscopic and beyond are causal.
Consciousness arises through some process within the brains of certain animals.
Since the universe is causal; consciousness arises through causality, any "decision" made by a consciousness is predetermined by external inputs and internal feedback loops–themselves determined by external input prior.
Since consciousness is predetermined by causal relation no consciousness can express free will because every "decision" it makes is governed wholly by causal process in the same way that an apple falls from a tree.
Since Humans have consciousness, and are within the universe, human consciousness is governed by causality.
Therefore humans don't have free will as free will requires independence from causality.

Einstein was a philosophical determinist and the implications of relativity are that there is no free will. Einstein:
>The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation cannot for a moment entertain the idea of a being who interferes in the course of events — that is, if he takes the hypothesis of causality really seriously. He has no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion. A God who rewards and punishes is inconceivable to him for the simple reason that a man's actions are determined by necessity, external and internal, so that in God's eyes he cannot be responsible, any more than an inanimate object is responsible for the motions it goes through.

See third paragraph under section "Belief in an afterlife."
TOR is not just a tool. If it is an accurate conception of the mechanics of the universe–which there is no reason to currently doubt–it has very profound philosophical implications.


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>If TOR is true then all physical interactions from the atomic to the macroscopic and beyond are causal.
Uh, TOR can't predict anything at atomic level. It's one of the biggest problems in modern physic; how to tie quantum physics with the macro physics of the universe. Also, not all stimuli from the external world is a consequence of a bunch of charged particles with mass running throughout space, humans are rather irrational and quite unpredictable. Laplace's demon theory is interesting as a thought experiment until you consider how modern physics works.

Those quotes by Einstein have nothing to do with the theory in on itself but with his view of the universe. The idea that the universe is deterministic comes from the fact that we can build mathematical models that are by nature deterministic, and what Einstein implies there is that we have to consider the universe deterministic because our models work well with that. But we also have probabilistic models such as the ones used in quantum physics, which don't cross with anything we can perceive in this universe; just because we *see* things it doesn't mean the things we don't see do not exist.
Determinism is just applicable within the model, but even then the model is not necessarily perfect on all cases in the real world. In fact, the model predicts things that aren't necessarily truth at all (the existence of negative mass, for example). Hell, check kirchoff laws and try to explain me why they don't work at high frequencies and how determinism works with any of that, it just doesn't make sense.

It just feels like philosophers love to cherrypick words and concepts without even understanding the underlying implications.

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so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?

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 No.812[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

what do you do when you are depressed?

OP cries under the bed
112 posts and 38 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


>However, what about countries with tuition-free universities, such as Germany?

I'm not exactly familiar with the Germans. But as far as I'm concerned (and in my present country of residence, for example), to qualify for "free" education, you still have to fulfil certain requirements. Like you have to be below a certain age (I thik it was 25), you have to have qualifications that are compatible with theirs (if you don't, you have to sit for some exams, most likely for shitloads of money), and you have to provide a statement of financial stability (and no, getting a part-time job there will definitely not do the trick).

>By the way, I am by no means an ally of Socialism

Me neither, in fact I'm completely apolitical. Not only that, I believe politics are the #1 reason why humankind is unable to move forward. It's like spoiled children having an argument in the sandbox, but on a global scale, with actual human beings in place of toys…

>Unfortunately, I have lost all hope that I can change myself, and I'm not willing to even try taking some steps to fix the situation I'm stuck in.

I see, and it's really sad to hear that. I was suggesting a change of atmosphere because I know, from experience, how it could change everything.

And I still hope that one day you will be able to change your ways.


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Only the skilled and healthy have the right to survive, natural selection as it is. Can't say it's bad, parasites like myself are just not suitable for this world. I hope your situation in life is not as bleak and dismal.

Thanks for taking the time to have a conversation with me, anon. Sent you a virtual hug.


Hookers, hustlers and the already rich are not "skilled" nor "healthy". They may have the right to survive over me, but I refuse to subscribe to the idea that I'm "broken" for being unsuccessful because all that held me back in life is honesty and principles.
Honestly fuck the "work hard and you'll be successful" fairytale. "Hard work" means doing literally anything is needed to advance your position. It doesn't mean honest, hard work.


Not really helpful and I'm sorry about that, but I basically just do what I'm doing now. Depression is a fairly constant thing for me and is only really noticeable when I'm having my particularly bad days or I've had a really good 5-50 minutes then go back to normal.


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I've been isolated to my dorm room, most of the time I only leave for class. I know it's unhealthy, but I'm very fearful of being in public nowadays because of constant harassment and bullying in secondary school.

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I have been hikki for about 5 months now and I am wondering what I can do to support my Hikki lifestyle. I just want to do something where I can live a basic life (internet, food/water, small living space). My only thing I require out of it is no human interaction in it besides online.
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Like i said in the other thread that is a stupid cop out argument that makes no sense the difference is those are basic everyday necessities to survive in the modern world in at least someway where is working a job and attending school is way more interacting with society than any hikikomori ever would.
I honestly don't care what kind of industry you're in because there is usually is something you're selling to someone weather that be a service a product or a skill you can do and to do that you need to have interaction with the outside world and employees to make that happen almost every job you work you have customers so you essentially are still contributing to society and still giving back to society and pretty much almost all at home jobs still require you to sometimes leave the house and go to the actual job and they also require you to go to an in person interview and talk to a stranger on the phone which a real hikikomori could not do and true not all hikikomori are supported by their parents but welfare is a thing you know that right? so yeah my point is definition speaking they are all NEETs because hikikomori means not contributing to society and hikikomori is not not leaving the house its not leaving the room you withdraw yourself up into in the house you live in.

Watch this.



What an asshole


You sound like an autist who takes everything literally.


>What an asshole

So i am an asshole because i state the truth?


>You sound like an autist who takes everything literally.

At least i do research hikikomori dont have jobs.

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