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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1454626044524.jpg (18.8 KB, 704x400, Satou.jpg)

 No.172[Reply]

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
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 No.5517

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 No.5493[Reply]

Happy Valentine's Day, Uboa-chan!
I'm a long-time lurker, first time poster,. I've told my sob-story a couple times on other -chans, only to get the usual “kys” response, so I decided to post here and see if any intellectuals feel like replying (or if anyone replies at all…)
At the age of 6, I was molested by my brother, and was quickly (forcefully) introduced to the world of sex from a very young age, only to be rejected by every girl I've ever been stupid enough to have feelings for. From my first grade crush, to all my cute coworkers, I'm almost 25, in the prime of my life, and am forced to watch happy, fruitful, loving relationships blossoming all around me, while all I get is my right hand and an internet connection.
To say that I used to get bullied in school would be an understatement. Elementary and Middle school were pretty miserable, but during my first year of high school, I made a friend (or so I thought). After about 3 or 4 months, a rumor spread around the school that I was gay, and this friend of mine tried to hook me up with a guy. I felt really bad turning the guy down, but this friend of mine, (and all his friends) got so pissed at me, that I was reported, and the teachers and administrators gave the students permission to bully me from then on. My parents didn't believe any of it and didn't do anything about it.
As for Elementary School, I'm like 85% sure there was a child trafficking ring going on behind my back. Every year was an event called the “School Sleepover” where kids would come to spend the night at the school to “play games and watch movies together”. They also apparently “Didn't have a sleepover every year” because it's a “potentially dangerous event” and that they “Needed approval from the school district”. However, I know for sure that each of my 4 siblings got to go at least twice and a friend of mine (who later became a pot-smoking, acid-dropping chad) got to go multiple times, and In 4th grade, he even got to 3rd base it with a girl who had a crush on me in a game of Truth or Dare. All this after my teacher threatened to expel me for asking when the sleepover would be. After the fact, when 10y/o Chad asked me why I didn't go, I said nobody told me, and when I asked what happened at the sleepover, he tuned bright red and said “I promised not to tell, and if I did tell, you would get extremely mad, and the whole school would get in a lot of trouble with the police.”
I won't bore you with Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5506

>>5505
Yep. You're totally right, anon. Spread the news.

 No.5507

>>5505
It's not that deep.

 No.5508

File: 1550592131708.jpg (14.02 KB, 184x184, mado shrug.jpg)

>>5493
Valentine's isnt really a big deal in my country so i wouldn't know and despite knowing it exists i don't think much about it because it sounds dumb and would hurt. Seems like you live in a pretty fucked up place if all of that is true, i'd try to get off this hellhole immediately.

 No.5539

File: 1554542488845.jpg (114.25 KB, 640x358, chad story.jpg)

OP here.
To be clear, I am no saint. Every girl I've ever asked out has rejected me, which makes me sad, but I know for a fact that there have been a small handful of girls that I've turned down as a result either me being a clueless asshole, them being raging feminazis, or them being 400lb land whales. I'm a cringelord to be sure, and I can't even say with 100% certainty that I do deserve love. I like to believe that everyone deserves a Happily Ever After for their Fairy Tale, but history tells us otherwise. Things such as Yume Nikki, Saya No Uta, and Watamote make me think back to all my school suicides, my own suicide attempts, and all the famous people in history (or the non-famous nobodies of the past) who all died as lonely bitter virgins, never feeling so much as the warmth of a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.

 No.5541

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but on closer inspection there's an ant infestation and most of the grass has dried out. Focus on the upkeep of your own lawn instead.



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 No.2906[Reply]

I'm not too sure this goes on this board but it feels like it'd fit here more than Off-topic.

Anyway, does anyone here have an imaginary friend? Any kind, I think even tulpa sort of count. If so I'd love to hear stories even if it's childhood imaginary friends. More so I'm interested in how many NEETs and Hikkikomori have them and how it affects your day to day life.
22 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5482

>>5481
While on a grander scale this may be true, an imaginary friend is a different sort of illusion than a flesh and blood one. Those differences are what people value.

 No.5483

I have imagenary foe. He always say to me rude things and laughing on anything i do.

 No.5484

>>5483
just sounds like low self esteem

 No.5487

I spend a lot of time daydreaming, or making up scenarios and that involves characters invented by me, though they're mostly NPCs in terms of personality and not consistent at all.

 No.5540

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>>2906
i have several. and, it's always a bit jarring to come out of whatever emotion i feel while speaking to "them" and realize i've been alone for the past thirty minutes or however long these spells last. . . this has been going on for the past few years, by the way.
when i have the house to myself, i often walk around while i speak.
usually our conversations (my daydreams) just focus on regular things. we rabb.it, we write together, we playfully banter, etc. it's fun. but my mind can only stretch itself so far, y'know.
i've gone as far as making a discord server with a few alts to speak with them, but of course it's just myself rambling into the void.



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 No.5331[Reply]

When I have to interact with people, quite often, they will find a way to misinterpret my anxiety. There are many misinterpretations, but they all seem to revolve around the other person involved. They think I must only be anxious because of them, not realizing that people with social anxiety are pretty much always anxious around people, except perhaps around their family members or a small group of friends. But around people they don't know, they will be anxious.

I have been accused of racism for being anxious around non-white people at my college's cafeteria, despite the fact that I get social anxiety around white people too. One time, a female counselor implied that I must be anxious around women, not understanding that I am anxious around men too. People have said thinks like "anon is bad at talking to girls" or "or anon gay?" but I am just bad at talking to people in general. Saying I'm "bad at talking to girls" implies that I'm good at talking to guys, which is not true.

The female counselor I saw sent me to a male counselor in the same counseling office place and I was anxious around him too. He seemed to take it personally and thought it was about him as an individual. Very unprofessional across the board. He also asked me about drugs and alcohol and I told him about my drinking, and so he thought I must be anxious because of drinking too often (it's the opposite: I drink too much to cope with anxiety, not the other way around).

Another time, someone invited me to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I was sleep-deprived and also still had social anxiety, because I always have it, and being in a situation where I had to serve people food and talk to them made it especially bad. The person who invited me implied that I was afraid of homeless people, even though they've seen how I act around other people.

A final example was how I was invited by my friend to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. They are extremely loud and outgoing and it was a little intimidating with all the questions and being put on the spot a few times. My friend thought I really enjoyed checking my phone, when in reality I was only doing it to avoid making eye contact or to cope with my extreme anxiety.

I don't get the impression that very many people truly understand what I'm going through, and these accusations make it even worse.

Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues? If so, what happened?
17 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5437

vrchat helped me with my social anxiety

 No.5468

>Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues?
All the time. My family likes to pretend that mental disorders that aren't overtly crippling don't exist. They barely consider autism a disorder if you're more functioning than the furthest people on the spectrum. It's always "Why are you even sad? There's nothing to be sad about" or "Stop being so shy!" when it comes to my manic depression and crippling anxiety.

The only one who doesn't do that is my dad, who treats it like some sort of sick competition. Whenever someone tries to talk about mental health and mentions something they have, 99.9% of the time you'll immediately hear "I HAVE THAT, TOO!!". You know he treats it like a competition because it's never to sympathize, only to direct everyone's attention toward him.

 No.5469

File: 1548598113182.jpg (Spoiler Image, 386.85 KB, 594x788, 20d1efefd4f3efe2c34fb756a4….jpg)

>>5468
Your dad might be a narcissist. Those are typical symptoms. Maybe look into that, and don't overlook covert narcissism. I've noticed how much extra attention narcissism seems to get in self-help circles.

 No.5473

>>5469
Sounds about right, he demonstrates most of if not all the symptoms with constant gaslighting thrown into the mix for flavor.

 No.5538

>>5348
Do you suppose that might have been projection on your Aunt's behalf, anon? How is she around other people, and your parents in particular? Is she emotionally manipulative?



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 No.5262[Reply]

In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
If you can and want please share this post to communities which you think might me knowledgeable.
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 No.5264

Moved from /ot/

 No.5311

Your backstory is so much alike mine it’s uncanny. How did you overcome the anxiety of taking classes again? Are drugs really the only way? I’ve been postponing any kind of formation or going back to a course because of this. I’m scared it’s gotten so bad to the point it developed to a phobia of school environments.

 No.5537

File: 1554182032398.jpg (35.42 KB, 300x221, la merca me dejó pelotudo.jpg)

Uuuuu igual depende. Mi última polola al inicio era una persona muy amable, pero con el pasar de los días se fue volviendo una relación super tóxica que duró sólo 3 meses, pero se sintió eterna.

Fue con una amiga que tenía como unos 21 años. Digámosle Feña.

En diciembre del año pasado, durante el velorio de mi abuelo le pedí internet a papá para revisar una cosa, y noté que en el inbox tenía un mensaje de un tipo al cual yo no conocía, en el cual contaba que la Feña mandó un video a un grupo de wsp la noche anterior, donde ella aparecía teniendo sexo con un tipo.

¿Lo cuático? El mensaje del cabro lo adjuntó junto al susodicho video, y reconocí la cara del weón. Resulta que era un híbrido flaite/emo del cual la Feña me hablaba de forma frecuente, y la fecha en la que lo conoció coincidía más o menos con la semana en la que su actitud hacia mí empezó a cambiar.

La bloqueé de todo y me fui del velorio sin despedirme de nadie. Todos andaban relativamente de buen humor en ese momento, así que no quise cagarles el ambiente.

En el tiempo que llevábamos juntos, nunca me dio un beso, ni siquiera un abrazo. Al inicio, cada vez que ella misma sugería esa idea, cuando estábamos a punto de hacer alguna de las 2 cosas sólo se retractaba y pedía perdón, con lo cual yo no tenía problema alguno. Pero luego del cambio de actitud, le daba la weá y me sacaba la chucha justificando que era porque le daba vergüenza. Usualmente acompañaba dichas sacadas de chucha con insultos y palabras como degenerado, gay, enfermo, etcétera. Osea qué cresta.

Lo peor era que me golpeaba en público, y ni siquiera podía defenderme de vuelta porque más de alguien podría malinterpretar la situación, y el hecho de que la cabra era medio victimista y mitómana no ayudaba en absoluto. También, constantemente desquitaba su enojo conmigo, tapándome en insultos y amenazas de diversos tipos.

Es primera vez que le cuento esto a alguien.
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 No.254[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

How old are you?

ADMIN NOTE: This discussion is OK again since the change to Rule #1.
164 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5525

File: 1553207496701.jpg (118.56 KB, 973x709, 1499470743157.jpg)

Turning 21 next month. I've been hikkineet for almost two and a half years, I think I need to get a job soon but my social anxiety is debilitating.

 No.5526

25 now, I've been bordering hikki for a while but have been in education most of the time to some degree. Weirdly finding these hikki threads recently has helped my mindset towards it all, instead of having this terrible guilt and shame all the time I can now put a name on it and have been dealing with it a little better for now at least

 No.5529

I turned 18 this February

 No.5530

currently 19, turning 20 this October

 No.5535

>>5525
The jobs I've had that weren't too bad for that were doing warehouse work (heads up though this is fucking miserable) and medical transportation. Most of your time in medical transportation is spent on the road and roughly half of that is by yourself (or with a partner or two if you're an EMT/Paramedic) and when you're just a basic wheelchair van driver the other half is mostly just driving little old folks home or to rehab. It's kind of a comfy job and I've been enjoying it. Definitely worth looking into.



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 No.4650[Reply]

hey guise
what's the longest period you've been without a bath?
I haven't showered in 5 days, my record is 2 weeks
35 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5304

2 weeks

 No.5305

>>5253
have you tried heating up water in a pot on the stove?

 No.5531

a week yeaaars ago, but i haven’t showered in 5 days
it’s currently 2am where I am, i’ll probably shower again once after I eat breakfast

 No.5532

last bath/shower was August 8th, 2018. Haven't washed at all since.
I used to shower twice a day because it felt good but I just don't have access to clean running water right now.

 No.5534

With the exception of basic (where I think I went the first five or so weeks without showering) I get to feeling too gross by the time I hit day four to procrastinate any longer on it. I don't feel too bad about missing a day, but yeah. Four is the absolute limit for me.



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 No.3313[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?

I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.

Being very thin has hurt my self confidence. Also, the only physical activities I like to do are walking and biking, I think this might also make me thin.

Also, this thread can be about general physical help too.
25 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4327

File: 1516292096631.jpg (Spoiler Image, 160.12 KB, 1200x1041, lowres.jpg)

I'm not sure if you can call it an ED but my doctor referred to it as such.

I have an incredible dislike of food (and eating too).
I hate the feeling of food on my tongue, I don't like taste either. I'm fine with crunchy stuff that barely tastes like anything, bread and fruits, vegetables and stuff, which sucks cause in Winter there are only disgusting fruits available from southern countries.
I can't stomach soup or any watery, wet stuff (sauce is sometimes alright if a little is put on a sandwich maybe but that's about it)

On some days I have to remind myself to eat. I'm underweight obviously.
People take it really badly if you don't eat in front of them. It might be a psychological factor from primitive times, sharing food so you know you can trust each other.

 No.4335

File: 1516329522688.jpg (655.29 KB, 670x800, amduscia.jpg)

>>4327
soylent.com
terrible name, but I've heard good things. It's a flexible meal replacement; provides calories and most of the necessary shit you can't get in a multivitamin.
>>4322
There wasn't any money to prioritize, madre held the purse strings and she was fucked in the head. I ate what I could get, when I could get it, and cleaned the plate with a vengeance. I dunno, maybe when things were good temporarily and I'd gorge myself I stretched out my stomach. Because I don't feel full until it hurts

Shit, it is so hard to unlearn the habits that kept you alive, even when they start being a problem. I feel for you, at least my problem doesn't entail much work

 No.5412

wasn't until last year that I had difficulties, before then I can't think of any issues arising from eating, even minor ones
but as of about summer 2018 I now can't eat more than a meal a day generally, sometimes 2, sometimes not even a proper meal and just a single slice of toast or something
was 35kg at my lowest, now I generally don't go below 45, and I do stay in the 45-55kg range but it fluctuates so much I think I should just get another set of scales to be 100% honest
it's not great but there's nothing anybody can do so I suppose that's a closed book

 No.5433

I binge/stress eat an alarming amount. Last I checked I was around 300 lbs at 5'0 (this was sometime either last year or the year before, I'm terrified of checking again). Doesn't really help that I live with a neglectful family that sabotages attempts to get my proverbial shit together (including but not limited to keeping the vegetables for themselves or cooking them to taste like garbage). With how little I go outside on top of several other problems I'm honestly terrified that I'm never going to be able to recover. I try to exorcise, but I feel more lethargic and drained of will than ever lately. Fasting helps, but I also don't want to go from one extreme to the other.

Plus, being a girl, the potential side effects of my polycystic ovarian syndrome are constantly looming over me. I feel like I'm in a deadlock and it fucking sucks.

 No.5527

I'm very skinny (18 bmi) used to be even lower but gained a bit when I stopped smoking. I find eating a chore most of the time the only when I was doing nofap and exercising could I find the motivation to eat enough but it always stopped after a while. I think it has something to do with dopamine receptors/regulation which pornography,masturbation and sedentarism wreak havoc on. Reminds me of that study where they destroyed all the dopamine receptors in some rats and they wouldnt eat even if the food was in front of them but if they put the food in their mouth they'd chew and find it enjoyable. It has something to do with drive apparently.
My teeth are fucked up now and I don't have money to fix them so that makes me even more hesitant to eat. Other than that yeah it was and it still is somewhat of a factor of low self esteem.



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 No.5523[Reply]

It's possible to have sort of a life being a hikki/neet. I've been on disability for a while. I've been on it since 18 and I'm 24 now. I had a girlfriend last summer (dating on and off). We finally met last summer, it was everything I could have ever imagined and more. It was magically, and then we rushed into something 'real' even though I was against it and it fell apart.

I met her 7 years ago online. I lost my virginity to her, and hers to me. It was sort of 'perfect' in a sense - but I don't believe there are actual women out there that can stand living in a NEETstyle. In bore down on us and created insane pressure, and we broke up over it. You'd have to be actually crazy hideous female, I think. My ex was thin, quite attractive, she had some skin problems and stuff. Nothing crazy though. I'm just fat, btw. Very, at that.

In my early years, probably highschool- I romanticized NEETdom and being Hikki. It's the worst thing you can do. I was a loser and friendless majority of my growing up and it fostered me into what I am today, but I'm working hard to change that. I DON'T want to be on disability, to be a NEET, etc… all that dysfunction that comes with it. For some it perhaps is inevitable. I am diagnosed mentally ill; some-what textbook Hikki. Honestly, it's the worst change you can have in your life. I loved that girl, and because of my NEET lifestyle it ruined it. I whole-heartily believe that it would have worked out if I wasn't a NEET and used to a terrible lifestyle.

anyways, I think it is possible to have a life being NEET… it's just exceptionally difficult… sorry if this was more of a rant. I am curious of other's struggles with neetdom and their personal victories.

I wish you all good luck and the willpower to improve.


File: 1498606818586.jpg (79.74 KB, 1080x1080, 1473730753781.jpg)

 No.3276[Reply]

Life story time
>Be 7 years ago
>18
>Have pretty OK life in front of me
>Suddenly start losing all motivation and sleeping more and more
>Be NEET for 3 years
>Finally get a part time job (cashier, though boss had me doing everything in the store)
>Start going to doctor thinking I was depressed
>2 years, 8 months of therapy, 25 different medications, $26,000 (after insurance) in doctor bills later
>At this point sleeping 16 hours a day and working the rest
>Occasionally dozing off during work and even while driving
>Doctor finally gives me CFS/ME diagnosis
>Tells me there's no treatment
>Gives me prescriptions for Adderall, Vyvanse, Concerta, Ritalin & Desoxyn
>They work great for a couple days before losing all effectiveness (even at max dose), takes over a month for tolerance to get back down
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 No.3363

Wow, you're fucked.

 No.3365

>>3360
Where are you located anon? I may be able to give you more specific advice depending on where you are located

 No.5489

https://uboachan.net/hikki/res/190.html#5488

is me, i have cfs/me, i'm on federal disability (in the USA)

you have to apply and get rejected then appeal then get a hearing, and hopefully have the word of a reputable doctor like i had from the guy at Stanford Hospital's CFS department, also have a disability doctor who knows what CFS is

its hard anon, no cure sucks, im improving but most aren't

 No.5492

File: 1550195566967.png (257.05 KB, 900x700, 0d63edcde4f7670a181e8338f2….png)

Afraid to know if it's really CFS have the same symptom of it but also nerve pain, which has led to a diagnosis of fibromyalgia instead. Honestly doctors are the worst, but being trained to ignore exactly what patients know is wrong is in their nature, it only takes one good doctor to set you on knowing the difference. Life gets too overwhelming but you can make the best of it in your own way.


Also have stomach and gastrointestinal issues, waiting to get a colonoscopy and more blood tests. Though have had a stomach infection for six months.

It'd be nice to talk to someone to understands this kind of existence

 No.5518

Most people fail their initial disability application. What you do then is contact a disability lawyer. There are tons of them who will file your appeal for free and then just take a portion of your backpay as payment when you're approved. I have had a few friends do this.



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