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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Check out the *NEW* Uboachan Dream World MUD (and the discussion thread)

File: 1467565037281.jpg (122.25 KB, 1300x1300, social-network.jpg)

 No.1715[Reply]

(The old thread was unstickied because it got bogged down with dead links and is difficult to navigate.)

New Rule: One post per service please! Duplicate ads may be deleted. This especially includes discord links. To make a permanent discord link, click on instant invite, go to advanced settings, and change the expire time to never.

Do you have a neat web community or chat group you'd like to invite people to? Maybe want to drop your messaging handle and strike up some conversations? Do it here.

Chat/community/personal ads are no longer allowed on the rest of the board.

Important Note: This doesn't mean that you can't talk about communities or chat groups. You could, for example, have a thread where you ask people about web communities they visit. You just can't open your thread with an advertisement.

EFFECTIVE 01/24/2017: DO NOT POST NON-PERMANENT DISCORD INVITES. DEAD LINKS ARE A NUISSANCE AND SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS THREAD. IF YOUR DISCORD LINK EXPIRES YOUR POST WILL BE DELETED AND YOU WILL RECEIVE A WARNING BAN.

Old thread (bumplocked): >>3
95 posts and 45 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5144

File: 1538683162051.png (183.18 KB, 527x495, christchan.png)

I do a daily bible study 7 days a week and a nightly bible study m-f.
Night M-F: 7:30PM CST-US
Day: 1PM CST-US
https://twitch.tv/a7runaway
Tonights Schedule ATM(more to be added):
Lords Prayer
Luke 4
Shine On Sweet Jesus - The Flaming Lips
Satan's Temptation of Christ Explained: A Verse-by-Verse Study of Luke 4:1-13 - True Riches Academy
Luke 5
Him - Lily Allen
Frustrations of a Worldly Christian - Joel Stevens
Luke 6
Luke 7
Lords Prayer



File: 1454626044524.jpg (18.8 KB, 704x400, Satou.jpg)

 No.172[Reply]

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1540078636222.png (644.78 KB, 1366x768, tomoko2.png)

 No.5207[Reply]

I don't think I can endure it any longer. Life is just too much of a drag for me.

I stopped going to a therapist almost a year ago because he moved into another office, so the reservations were cleared. There are no other therapists in my town and going somewhere else is just too expensive. I've been trying to call him for several months, but he hasn't responded to me once. Maybe he doesn't want to interact with me anymore since I'm so broken.

My social skills are progressively getting worse. It's so severe that I'm even anxious when I talk to a friend on Discord. Most of the time even the simplest messages contain grammar errors, are unfinished, and sometimes even completely unrelated to previous ones.
As for the real life conversations, they share most of the same problems but it's accompanied by stuttering and similar speech impediments.

I have a crush on a Twitter mutual (yeah, I'm that sad) and I fucking regret it. She's an artist and I really look up to her, so I started to practice my drawing skills for a while so I can get noticed by her, but no one ever even noticed them (the way I draw is shit anyway, so I believe didn't have any chances lol). I replied to like 2 of her tweets with my shitty jokes that she for some reason really liked, or maybe she just pretended so I can feel noticed/respected/whatever. I wanna talk to her but I don't know how. Even a simple thought like DMing her saying "hi" makes my heart beat like a nuclear bomb.

I was never diagnosed with it, nor do I want to self diagnose myself, but there's a high chance that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I have a plenty of similar symptoms to Asperger's and PDD-NOS. The thought of that makes me extremely depressed all the time and I don't wanna exist anymore.

I haven't been suicidal for about 9 months, but the wish to end myself has returned about 2-3 days ago. I'm only 18 and I don't see any glimmers of hope in the distance anymore. Every single day since I graduated highschool exactly 5 months ago I've been doing nothing but laying in bed and playing some shit idle game without any sort of changes in daily routine. I don't even know what I should do anymore.

(sorry for the terrible composition and grammar, i havent written anything serious in a long time)
10 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5224

File: 1540234557216.jpg (181.38 KB, 850x620, __original_drawn_by_hotaka….jpg)

>>5222
I don't get how a, "lack of self-awareness", could affect memory. If it can, how many people out there lack self-awareness, but come off as normal? How the hell does that even work?

 No.5226

File: 1540241080560.gif (2 MB, 540x408, laugh.gif)

>>5224
Fuck, I wrote a long winded response to this only to realize I'd completely misunderstood your post.

It's not self-awareness directly that affects memory, but attention.
As most children do, I didn't delve much into how others perceived me other than the usual shallow observations of "Oh no, no one likes me :(" and "This guy's not mean when I play with him, he likes me :)" As such, I didn't really care about how I acted; I didn't pay any attention to my actions and deemed them unimportant. When something's unimportant, you don't consciously think about it often, and when you do that, you eventually forget things. Adults whose brains function like this usually aren't deemed normal, I don't think.
Very much different from all the embarrassing situations that plague your self-centered mind as a teenager, that you perhaps remember still to this day.

 No.5227

OP here. Thanks for all the replies, I thank all of you for giving me advices.

>>5219
>In your case I think it is easiest if you just write her a short message where you explain you have been following her for x weeks and you absolutely love her style.

Thanks for the advice, I legit didn't think about that at all. I'll try to message her when/if I gather enough courage.

>>5222
>If this is something relatively recent, you might want to consider doing a blood and hormone test.

Yeah, it's fairly recent. It started to occur about a year ago. I might take the tests some time in the (near) future.


I forgot to mention one thing related to my worries about being on the spectrum, though. I have a few neurological problems as well. I was diagnosed with a cyst and lesions on my brain.
I've researched a bit about those, and I started to worry even more. I apologize if I'm talking too much about autism.

 No.5228

>>5227
>I'll try to message her when/if I gather enough courage.
>I might take the tests some time in the (near) future.

Considering the lack of motivation that you've described, I feel like this is going to be never. Try to maybe set a concrete date, else you're going to procrastinate this to hell and back. I don't know about your country, but the queues here are unbearably long as well. I know it first took me two weeks after talking to the doctor to get tested, a week more for the results, and now I have to wait for two more months for a "more detailed examination." God knows when I'll get to the treatment part.

>I apologize if I'm talking too much about autism.


On /hikki/? Lol.

 No.5232

> I'll try to message her when/if I gather enough courage.
you are doing it wrong
you need to do this asap or you will forever delay it and say "it is just not the right timing". One day she will dissappear and you will hate yourself forever for not trying. So next time you both are online just do it.
Even if she does not like you, it is worth to get out of your comfort zone and be bold once every now and then.



File: 1538657486258.jpg (306.95 KB, 2000x1333, 1505069042913.jpg)

 No.5143[Reply]

How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5197

File: 1540037689525.jpg (59.1 KB, 500x500, 4f0a6f71dcba9ed2cb524148f8….jpg)

>>5170
Keep it up! Of course you should do things at your own pace, but it's important to not stop doing them. Even if social interaction is exhausting to you, as it is to me, there will always be a desire to have exactly that. Once you lost your friends or grew to distant to colleagues, it becomes incredibly hard to satisfy this need and exchange becomes even more taxing. Solitude breeds illness.

I let myself go in the recent years. My body got older, but my mind even took a step back. Life goes on and it's up to us if we go along or stay were we are only to realize later how far we have fallen back.

Sometimes I remember stupid stuff I did out of over-excitement or clumsiness and the regret makes me want to throw up. It's no use to dwell on the past, if one just fuels anxieties with it. Sure, nostalgia can be nice once in a while. One should however not forget, that it is essentially a form of grief. Resorting to sorrow for means of pleasure will screw one up.

Ah, sorry, I'm just ranting. Have this picture of a comfy bedroom for compensation!

 No.5221

The best way to prevent yourself from becoming a hikikomori I believe is to force yourself into a routine that involves leaving your house daily.

It doesn't matter where. Go to the library, walk around the block, just do anything.

I so badly wish I could go back in time and make myself do that.

 No.5229

>>5221
I go outside and talk to people every single day and I still have terrible social anxiety. Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.

 No.5230

>>5229
>Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.
No, it doesn't. But it guarantees you'll just not turn out worse. And that isn't a small detail at all.

 No.5231

File: 1540251112859.jpg (144.5 KB, 500x334, good-cozy-bedroom-tumblr-3.jpg)

>>5179
Yeah, very relatable anon. I don't even have any hobbies which is depressing af. It means that you have no way to relax or calm yourself down after a stressful day. Trying to take up a hobby is sometimes even more stressful than doing nothing because I beat myself up over being bad at things. I'd be so embarrassed to go to a class or meet up. I wish I had the passion of others in literally anything so I could have a job that I love doing or something that helps me unwind at the end of the day at very least.

>>5221
That's a really good point. Luckily I have a dog so I feel really guilty if I don't bring him out every second day. He always reminds me and it's impossible to refuse him.



File: 1539995547142.png (303 B, 200x200, square.png)

 No.5187[Reply]

man i just don't like people.

i am not attracted to anyone.

at all.

no one.

not because of their bodies.

but because of people's personalities.

people are incredibly manipulative all the time

man that's just it.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5196

File: 1540007941551.jpg (232.75 KB, 850x1273, __original_drawn_by_guru__….jpg)

>>5195
Bitter, mopey losers are the worst anon. No use trying to reason with limpdicks.

 No.5211

>>5196
imagine being so much of a bitter, mopey loser that attacking people on the internet for no reason is a good use of your time

 No.5212

>>5211
Don't you notice the irony on commenting something like that in this kind of thread?

 No.5214

>>5211
>attacking
lol
>no reason
You couldn't even be bothered to put an actual image. Fuck off newfag.

 No.5216




File: 1537567052662.jpg (111.99 KB, 1080x1350, 16434.jpg)

 No.5103[Reply]

Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no fuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
20 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5198

>>5176
I haven't ever done either of that to anybody.

 No.5202

>>5198
I was implying that your issues might have been caused by those things, not that you do those things to other people

never mind

 No.5203

>>5202
Who specifically do you think could have done those things to them?

 No.5204

>>5103
family and friends can be abusive in many different ways, one way is gaslighting, which is trying to convince someone that they're crazy or have problems, which can mess with someone's self esteem and confidence and sense of self

learned helplessness is when you're convinced that you're stuck in your situation and there's nothing you can do about it, which can happen as a result of bullying, abuse, maladaptive learning, etc.

people don't exist in complete isolation, they are a product of their environment and relationships/interactions with people

 No.5210

>>5202
Forgive me I didn't understand you before, you might as well be right.



File: 1540001351970.jpg (118.33 KB, 679x923, nhk.jpg)

 No.5194[Reply]

This thread is for posting when you did something that was uncomfortable for you, but still important to do. It's also for encouraging other people who are getting out of their comfort zone too.

If you're NEET/hikki, I think part of the issue is having a small comfort zone and sticking to what's in that. So let's try to change that.

Tonight, I went to the city today to network with some people. We made plans in advance online and met up in person. Met some new people and talked about work, LinkedIn, mentoring, and stuff like that. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Even though I was super nervous, I still went, and I tried to talk with the other people. I wasn't good at it, but you gotta start somewhere. I will be seeing them again next week.

What about you? What have you done lately, or what are you planning on doing that is outside your comfort zone?

 No.5199

File: 1540045344106.gif (115.7 KB, 530x356, 1538172650328.gif)

Today I woke up.

 No.5200

File: 1540053899768.jpg (211.84 KB, 640x959, hirasaewreggggggggrdf.jpg)

I attended rehearsal. We just started playing a few weeks ago and I keep forgetting stuff. Also I think the other guy is making fun of me for some reason, but that's probably just my issue of perception with every person even looking in my general direction.

 No.5201

>>5200
Rehearsal for what?

 No.5205

>>5199
Better than not waking up, right? Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed, but I do anyway.
>>5200
Even if someone is making fun of you, then their opinion isn't worth paying attention to. You don't need to let negative people influence your life. It says more about their immaturity than you. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you.

But as a general rule of thumb, if someone is mean to you, don't think that you're in the wrong. If they're being mean, that's on them.

Hope your rehearsal go well.

 No.5206

>>5201
We are practicing and composing songs. I like to make music and people are even encouraging me. Social anxiety and agoraphobia are however ruining the fun.

>>5205
Thank you.



File: 1522713605394.gif (5.71 KB, 200x200, 1457417063142.gif)

 No.4650[Reply]

hey guise
what's the longest period you've been without a bath?
I haven't showered in 5 days, my record is 2 weeks
21 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5182

>>5181
You don't use soap. Also, what's a flannel? Like a flannel shirt?

 No.5183

>>5182
I don't like soap, when I apply it to my skin it feels like my skin is a croissant and it's falling off (not actually falling off, but I'm not really too sure how to describe it), and I can't imagine soap is too good to be rubbing on my skin in this day and age
A flannel, wash cloth, washcloth, wash rag, face-washer (Australian) or face cloth is a small square about the width of a hand towel, and is used by wetting, applying soap to the towel, and then using the towel to apply the soap to skin. This increases abrasion, and can remove dead skin cells from the skin more effectively than just manual application and rubbing of soap. In some parts of the world, washing mitts are used for this purpose.

 No.5184

>>5183
Get help for your sensitivity issues.

 No.5185

>>5184
I don't know for sure why this is the case for me, I wager my SPD has something to do with it
any suggestions as to how I can overcome it

 No.5186

File: 1539981558424.jpg (133.29 KB, 850x637, __anri_anriette_chloe_with….jpg)

>>5185
Here's how I would do it. Cover yourself head to toe in soap. No matter how much you don't like it, just do it. Stay like that for an hour. You could read a book or just lie down and wait. Maybe take a nap. When you're done, soak in a bath for however long you can stand. Do this every day until you get used to the sensation. Then start washing the normal way. There's nothing wrong with being a croissant. Also, use a loofah/sponge. Don't just rub a bar of soap on yourself directly. Make lather.
Maybe masturbate during this to associate the sensation with pleasure.
Don't give up anon.



File: 1538328380897.jpg (101.66 KB, 1280x720, cat.jpg)

 No.5135[Reply]

I'm a college student and I'm looking for work. I've lived a lot of my life as a shut-in, so I feel developmentally stunted in some ways. I guess people are impressed enough with my technical skills and software portfolio because I manage to get a decent number of interviews, but I haven't gotten hired for something related to the field I want to be in. I've gotten hired for shitty dead-end jobs in the past, but they have lower standards.

Basically, I think my social anxiety and awkwardness are holding me back. Even though my STEM education is good, people are put off by how awkward I am, so then they choose other applicants who are more confident, charismatic, and generally socially adept. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever hire me for a good job and I'll be doomed to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.

Any tips for getting better at socialization and job interviews?
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5147

>>5146 havent read the rest of the thread so being cautious here: but are you including the experience you had at these "dead end jobs?" whatever it is, however minor, if theres something you can take away from them. even if its just "friendly with customers" however basic it might come off as to you, it could help?

 No.5149

>>5147
actually never mind, the thread was shorter than i initially thought. sorry about that. Honestly the best advice i have for you is listen to what people tell you, and to keep truckin'

 No.5151

>>5146
>Like what, work at a grocery store?

You don't have to go to the other end of the extremes, there should be much more than that. I don't know where you live, and how is society and opportunities there, but, for example, you could be the IT guy/sysadmin of a small company or something.

>coworkers suck no matter where you go


Not necessarily. And again, within a hardcore software development company with braindead management, killer deadlines and never-ending workdays, the pressure is far more than it should be, which leads to even the nicer people behaving like shit most of the time. Let alone the ones who already have shit personalities to begin with…

>Also I gave out about 15 resumes at a job fair recently.


Nice work! So you're going somewhere already.

 No.5152

For me it's always the other way around. I can easily fake it during an interview, but after getting the job and working for a couple of weeks it becomes harder and harder to keep up the facade, to hide how much social situations stress me out. People get mad, if you hide your personality and won't let them get a grip on you.

Working in IT means teamwork all the time, especially in the beginning, when you have to frequent other people for help. Therefore it is wiser to choose the nice average guy who fits in rather than the edgy smart guy who lowers work ethics for all colleagues. Seems reasonable to me.

 No.5169

OP here. I landed some interviews and I'm doing more networking. Also, fun fact: if you have disabilities such as physical or mental health problems, there are government programs that can help you get a job. So far, all the interviews I have scheduled are for regular jobs, not for people who are disabled.

But let's say you're a typical hikki or NEET or whatever. If you talk to the right social services offices, they can help you find a work despite the fact that you have problems.

It's not either regular work or being a NEET. There are places out there that hire people who have problems. I am trying the traditional route first, but if that doesn't work, I know of a program that will help people like me get hired despite having mental issues.

There are also TECHNICALLY anti-discrimination laws that prevent people from barring you from employment based on disabilities, but it's bullshit and I doubt employers actually follow it. But the thing about some government programs is that they work with employers that are actively looking for disabled people to hire.



File: 1539101129197.jpg (184.04 KB, 480x640, traumateam_devfeaturette3_….jpg)

 No.5159[Reply]

Assuming there's not a general for this, I'd like some advice. A bit off topic maybe?

Basically I've had a rough 4 hours when I went into the ER yesterday for back pains, and learned I had a 1.3 millimeter kidney stone they'll have to break up "somehow", either through some weird outpatient procedure with sound waves, or by just going in and spending 2 hours breaking it out manually. The former is what we're trying first though and SHOULD get it.

What I'm worried about is them having to do the latter, as well as them having to place a stint in regardless. I'm terrified of being put under. Done it quite a few times in the past and it's just not gotten easier, so everytime they do it I start getting antsy. Additionally I am pretty protective over manhood. That sounds retarded, but it's a source of fear for me. With luck, they'll just have to put me under and fiddle with me twice to get the stint in and out, and it's all pretty easy and routine, so then why am I freaking out so much? Does anyone have any experience with these issues, or could give me some advice about how to calm down?

Please help me not be so pussy so these next few weeks can blow over smoothly.

 No.5160

Distract yourself as much as possible until the procedure. Just get your mind off it however you have to If by any chance something goes wrong, there's always the legal suit option. Besides they'll probably figure out how to replace penises within the next couple decades, so any loss might not be permanent.



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