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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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New board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs, and people with school/work/reintegration issues: Ex-NEET / Recovery

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 No.172[Reply]

From now on, the >>>/rec/ board should generally be used for conversations about recovery from NEETism. This is not a hard rule but you are likely to have a better experience.

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.5517

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 No.6131[Reply]

Recently i lost all my friends including internet ones too. So i've been feeling pretty frustrated. Usually i loved spending time on my own and denied people in meetings just because i changed my mind. But since my internet friend got a gf (we were tight about 3 years) , i argued with my the only one irl friend and worldwide known pandemic got to my hometown i (surprisingly) have nobody to share my feelings with. How to enjoy your own company without knowing that you always have a"pillow of safety" in the form of friends?


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 No.6127[Reply]

By self-improvement I mean doing more than the basics (getting a job/moving out), non-essential things like having hobbies or a social life. If I start now I will be quite old-ish by the time I see results, and most people will be moving on to something else. I cannot fill the gaps in experience, just make try to catch up and pretend I'm not behind.
Why?

 No.6128

just try to catch up*

 No.6129

>>6127
Plenty of people either do those things because they want to, or because they think they can find additional social acceptance for having done them (which is really just another way of saying they want to do them). If wanting to do them doesn't apply to you, then don't. But understand what frequently befalls those who choose not to do those things.

 No.6130

I was a loser a few months ago. I'm still a loser, but now I can play the piano at a very bad grade 2, draw very poorly, and just about understand Japanese spoken by a small child.
Still, I'd recommend it, especially if you're a NEET like I am, since you'll be doing something with your time. I started doing these because I wanted to.
My regret is not starting earlier, since I'd be way more proficient than I am now, and probably enjoying it more since I won't have the frustrations that come with being inept at things.



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 No.6118[Reply]

I know this might be a little silly, but does anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki? I've tried joining discords and other places, but a lot of them feel so heavily occupied that it sets off social anxiety for me and I just can't talk.

It seems hard to find smaller places to make friends while still feeling comfortable. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips, thank you for reading.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6120

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I'm looking for a place like mentioned too. All I have is a small twitter circle of people but something like a discord does sound kind of tempting.

 No.6121

Penpal sites

 No.6122

Try smaller discords, facebook groups, forums, etc. It's also good to look for communities centered around something that interests you, so you already know what topics to break the ice with when starting a conversation.

 No.6125

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These "plz direct me to obscure net circles" threads are always awful, but are there seriously people recommending facebook groups? Listen anonymous; every single hangout on the internet revolves around hobbies. You can browse forums dedicated to knitting cute sweaters, to finding torrent groups willing to share the most FUBR fetish porn vids. Think to yourself what activity on the internet do you partake in the most. If you like saving pictures of anime girls you found on pixiv, *insert imageboard community* exists for that. Despite what some people might tell you, forums and IRC haven't been taken over by reddit or anything of the sort.
>anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki
For the record, people that "want to be friends on the internet" will want to mic chat with you or pressure you into doing things for them. They want friends that have a skill set. If you don't have any real skills like drawing, music or programming, for example, then they'll probably ghost you or kick you from whatever group you share.

 No.6126

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>>6125
Well personally I like browsing the sanctionedsuicide forums but I don't know if it counts as a hobby or not.



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 No.5407[Reply]

Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.

For example, I saw someone a while back on a Discord server and they're probably the only person who shares the same interests on the server as I do. I can't get them out of my head and am constantly thinking about doing stuff together. I've got a circle of friends already, but I just feel some sort of a special connection (?) to them. Am I becoming a creep or something?
22 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5893

yeah.
i've been following the same group of writers for three years across tumblrs, across twitters, across chatzy, but they're growing steadily more secretive with their writing, (e.g. you have to submit a few pieces of your own to gain access to their discord channels or whatever). it's somewhat stressful but i guess i've gotta move on/keep what i have on me and get rolling

 No.6112

>>5811
I never really imagined creating a real friendship back when I had internet friends but I did daydream a lot about meeting them in public and having quick conversation, I actually rehearsed some lines and had imaginary conversations with myself as practice in case if that happened, even though I knew none lived anywhere near me.

 No.6117

That's called love.

 No.6123

>>5407
>Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.
When I was younger, I used to hero-worship internet friends and obsessively check for new things they'd post to forums. It would always be one person at a time. Thankfully, I don't think I ever made it obvious to them, and I stopped doing it.

 No.6124

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>>5407
Very relatable, especially when I was younger. There have been figures on the internet with many niche hobbies that I've shared. When I was obsessed with these types of people, I eventually found alt accounts which were very easy to find. Of course those alts eventually lead to me finding their telegram handles, their steam, which directed to me finding their friends, which then lead to me finding even more about them. It was very embarrassing each time when I had to cut ties with all of these seemingly likeminded individuals on the net, because they thought I was some guy trying to "fuck up their life" by knowing all of this shit that was readily available online. There was only one special case where that didnt happen and I still talk to him today; but even then, when I archived and reup'd stuff he used to post online, he also got creeped out, but doesnt seem to care now



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 No.4264[Reply]

I was thinking about Youtubers, Twitch streamers and people who get paid for basically being on the internet and doing something that a monkey could.
These people could easily qualify as NEET, right? They spend up to 8 hours or more a day playing videogames or vlogging or something and most of their income comes from their fans.
Yet nobody really bats an eye at them other than the occasional angry dude that gets way too bent out of shape over people getting money from fans rather than employers. But with NEETs there's a higher level of stigma, telling them they're parasites and that they need to work on themselves and conform. Is the difference really as subtle as simply getting money? Or providing a service, even if it has little to no effect on society and the person's community?
What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?
Also have any NEETs here attempted this? Would you?
Is it viable? etc etc
20 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6088

>>6086
You have talked yourself into a paranoid delusion about PC costs and functionality. Nothing I can say will talk you out of it because you use it as an excuse for your failings.

 No.6089

>>6088

>>>6086

>Translation: "I know better what goes on in your country than you do, faggot!"

So GFY.

 No.6103

I think the answer to "Why is it like this" is that most people simply receive their opinions from others by tradition and don't think about things that much themselves, this leads to massive inertia when it comes to 'major' changes to perception and organisation of society. Their opinions are also very much aligned with their own PERCEIVED economic interests - central banks create money out of nothing, lend it to government and banks, creating a 'debt hierarchy' that most people are too busy caught up in climbing to question. Because of the amount of wealth, stability, etc in the world today most people in this hierarchy ARE doing relatively well for themselves (at the expense of those below them), most of these people are also very focused on the idea of climbing high enough in the hierarchy that they can essentially either live without working by relying on those lower in the hierarchy, or live and work for personal fulfillment with an increasingly luxurious lifestyle. NEETS under this system have little to no resources to really even express their views as individuals let alone politically organise to the point of creating coherent and loud enough narratives to 'convince' a bunch of people to stop climbing the hierarchy in the interests of everyone.

This is something you might experience first hand directly from wagies. The wagies in my family all have this internalised mentality that because they work and I don't, they are justified in treating me like dirt, practically. They partly do this because they RESENT the fact that you're surviving without doing the work they are, and probably resent you too for having slightly more independence and strength of character to resist. These people are absorbed in climbing the hierarchy most of the time and so they don't have the time to consider more rational systems. In some funny ways, NEETs have more in common with the super-rich leisure classes than the average person working away at their job, because the elites have time and leisure to consider alternatives.

The irrationality and unfairness of the present system could never be more obvious - I have spoken to multiple people who simply inherited so much money that they'll never have to work a day in their lives, while other people wear their bodies and minds out day after day serving people who are higher up in the hierarchy. Lots of people simply repress any awareness of all of this, though - because as I said they're trying to Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.6104

>What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?

One thing about this is that you might not realise it, but a disproportionate amount of those who become successful Youtubers etc today are already from middle\upper-middle class families, with a degree of leisure and enough spare money to try things out without risking falling into poverty. It boils my blood to think of the number of talentless youtubers who get paid by a megacorporation to repeat memes that were made for free by people 10 years ago. They pillage the public sphere for their own selfish purposes, ruining internet culture and prostituting everything, and most of them don't even really need the money.

You're also mostly only seeing the 'successes' when you see these 'Youtube celebs' online. If you look around you can find people who tried hard, and even put in a lot of effort and got nowhere on Youtube, and even then you're looking at those who tried to make a go of things on Youtube, rather than the many more people trapped slaving away in wage labour or stuck in NEET obscurity.

 No.6116

>>6103
very good post i agree

>>6104
very good post i agree

i dont like any of the other posts.



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 No.6054[Reply]

Around 10 years ago, I lived a very reclusive lifestyle and I was very miserable, I don't wanna go on details or to give away who I am, but something happened, something saved me from that, those years I worked hard on redoing my life, I got a job, a future, and became a better person, I had everything you could dream of that would make you happy, and more.
Now I lost all of it, and I'm scared I'll go back to how it was before, how do I go on? I'm not asking for back pats or pity, I just genuinely want to know how do you continue after losing everything.
I honestly want to, I am seeking professional help, and I try to stay focused at work, but nothing is working.

 No.6055

Nothing lasts forever man, not even when life is going good for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it, more than likely it’s something that wasn’t entirely in your control. But hey, look at it this way, if you were able to drag yourself out of being a recluse already what’s stopping you from doing it again? Just don’t give yourself the option of going back to your previous lifestyle, as enticing as it may be at times.

 No.6111

Exact same situation here. I would write many things and I have thought about it so much but in the end it's just that. I have no answers, sadly…

 No.6113

My life's goal is to tell the stories of people like you guys.
Too often we only hear from the people who succeeded, who made it in life, who had the ideal family and kids, house and car, job, status, etc. … the 'winners' in other words… and so we have a natural bias towards those types of people, and it unfairly colours our opinions. But in reality, most people don't win; most people fail, but we never hear from them because they don't make it.
Basically, I'm saying that you have a story worth telling, so for that reason alone, you have a duty to come through this, because I know there's at least one person out there who needs to hear it.



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 No.416[Reply]

I'm sure many of you know this feel:

>Realize you need to go somewhere with your life or everything will end horribly when you least expect it to


>Attempt to get something done


>If not 5 minutes later, you are eventually hit by a varying intense level of depression while attempting to do whatever task you decided, as if by facing your life, you can no longer not face how you are feeling.


>end up going back to the computer to distract yourself from the pain after only getting 1 thing done if you are lucky.


For any former NEETs here, how the fuck did you get past this? I feel the more I force myself to endure the depression the more depressed I get and the harder it is to get shit done, as fucking pretentious edgelordriffic as that unintentionally sounds.

 No.419

I've considered suicide.

There is no "getting past it" when there simply are no fulfilling alternatives.

 No.421

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As a former NEET that put himself into a situation where I have to work now, a very long fucked up story I might make a thread about it one day. Getting something done least for me requires stuff biting at my ass and a sense of severe consequences if I don't do something.

The situation I am in at this very moment requires me to work but I put myself into this situation originally as a trade off to thinking I'd be getting something I want out of it which I no longer will so now I have to work even though I really don't want to and have to suffer through what I put myself into but I'm getting more done in my life than I ever have in 3 years of being a NEET. Getting out of NEETdom isn't sunshine and roses but once your out it's almost impossible to get back into least with my case. In reality I don't care for a paycheck or other aspects of what people call a "normal" life expect one thing which makes me think I was born in the wrong time but I do feel a little bit better that I've come such a long way in one year even for things I do not care for I feel I have more power over my life and other people's lives than I previously thought I had.

Even though I have will and motivation now because of all the bad stuff happening to me, I still get depressed and have the strong urge to end it all. I've never been in so much stress in my life but who knows it might be worth it eventually though my addictions are crushing me along the way and it seems the only thing that gives me hope is my addictions, I realize how fucked up that is but oh well.

tl:dr In short the best way to get something done is to act like or actually have a situation where there will be horrible consequences if you don't do it which for you there might be in the future that you over looked. Fear, envy, wrath and strife have driven people to do many things my advice might come of as irresponsible but in my own life I found that to be the only real thing to make me get anything done well that and my addictions.

 No.6095

>>421
>three years
casual

>>416
It's four years later but seriously the point of being a neet is that you simply didn't fit into society. If you stop being a neet you never should have been in the first place. It's called being disabled.

 No.6110

>>6095
>unemployment elitism



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 No.2367[Reply]

What are your MBTI types, /hikki/ ?

I recommend taking a few different tests and understanding what each letter means. I'm also guessing that most people here are INxx

Some people discredit MBTI, but I think if you treat it a a rough guideline, it can offer some good insights to yourself and others.

INTP wasted-potential masterrace reporting in
82 posts and 20 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6076

>hikki
>extroverted
>no friends
Born to suffer.

 No.6099

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>>2367
As primitive as Myers Briggs alone is to judge someone, and as fickle as judging by spectrums can be, if you're not INTP or ISTP or similar wreck'd tier personality you don't belong on an imageboard and are a normalfaggot invader.

>>2368
>oooh a zodiac faggy thread
>>I'm cancer
Pottery.

It's hilariously awful stuff it is and also data mining.

>>these bum zoomers and gen y's and x's, the ones with INTP and ISTP can't get jobs! Lets train our teachers and police to target them to see if abuse can force them to act differently! Also, market nothing they like!

 No.6106

INTJ every time. I'm not really the evil mastermind type. I think the INTJ descriptor fits me in terms of how I love to make mental models of the world, I love to (try to) understand things as deeply as possible, and to climb to greater heights of understanding. I don't think I'm that highly intelligent, but I certainly love thinking and being in my mind. This is a pretty terrible thing, though, for someone without much money who can't survive in society, because everyone and every thing around me is constantly working to crush my free time and ability to think and consider the world in equanimity and peace.

>>2368

Pisces here (I see myself as 'high functioning' most of the time). I love dreams and fantasy, and I have huge problems with addiction to movies. I do think I am defined by 'empathy'. Most of the Cancer people I've met have been lovely. Their softness is the nicest aspect to them, but usually really bright and thoughtful, so they're not all mush. For some reason (despite what most pages\videos on compatibility say) the girls I like most are Geminis.

>>6099

doomer Capricorn?

 No.6107

Mbti only have sense if you research about the functions of each type, focusing just in the four letters is stupid

 No.6109

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>>2367
INTP-T, Cancer.
Sometimes i just think that i'd better didn't born in this world. Too hard for me.



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 No.6087[Reply]

Have any of you ever experienced ego death? It was such a terrifying but also very eye opening experience for me. I ended up going outside for the first time in a couple of years the day afterwards. Couldn't even get my own groceries, couldn't even get near the front door… I know it's not all simply solved now, I'm still going to have some issues, but for the first time in my life I finally feel grateful to be alive, and it's such an amazing feeling. I think I'm finally on the path to escaping this hellscape of agoraphobia.

 No.6091

How did you get to experience ego death?

 No.6108

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>>6087
I've experienced ego death many times through the use of various chemicals. Psychedelics, dissociatives and the like. I was able to experience ego death from 1650ug of LSD as my first entry into drugs and felt a similar feeling, a feeling that I had finally cracked the code and that things would be great from this point on! It's been about 2 years since that experience, I've spent most of the time since in a chemical daze. You see, that feeling of bliss didn't last all that long and I was back inside my room staring at my LCD screen vacantly. That feeling that everything was going to be okay, I've abused my body and mind going after that feeling. Psychedelics, dissociatives, stimulants, benzos, research chemicals all that jazz man! But I've never come close to that feeling of like I knew it all from that one LSD trip, that blown up megalomania, the narcissism creeping in that I was a GOD in this reality.

I've been binging on ketamine for a good while now. 10 days? I don't recall. I am tired. I have experienced ego death many times anon, it's all the environment that determines if that experience is generally beneficial to you. Don't chase the feeling of contentment. There are going to be painful times ahead, face those in a clear sober state of mind. You will not find answers on DMT, LSD, shrooms, whatever that is out there. It will only amplify what is there already without your ego conflicting with your processing of that information. Relax your ego, meditate, embrace that fear and suffering. I'm a coward running away from that suffering, I will feel it ten fold for my malicious misdirection of the psyche.



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