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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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From now on, the >>>/rec/ board should generally be used for conversations about recovery from NEETism. This is not a hard rule but you are likely to have a better experience.

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Who is your favorite NEET Youtuber?
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i saw that stealth edit you did there


what was up with the latest star drama? all i know is he broke up with starman and dotesmite made a now deleted video about it.


hi plunder


i dont think someone being a neet is something i really care to watch. i have no issues with watching videos of people who do all kinds of work, in the same way i have no issues about watching nature documentaries. unless the speaker is speaking about a subject im interested in, i have no reason to watch

not to mention, its actually a lot of work, effort and stress to make videos. you have to deal with comments, people harassing you and criticizing you if you deal with controversial subjects. editing, video planning, appealing to meta strategies, etc. its actually hard work being a good content creator


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You Wish.


Anyone here do it? I used to cut myself open, just for the sake of it really, but I regret it a lot because the scars never faded and I'm covered in ugly lines that anyone would be able to tell are from self harming.

You may also post QTs cutting themselves up.
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Hi :)
NEET for 10+ here with some time between.
Haven't posted on this board for a few years now… like 6 ?
Wasn't it called something different back then? nvm

I did self harm in my early 20s and still have some scaring on my belly. The sad thruth is that you won't ever get rid of it so you need to include it . Going for a swim is hard and I still try to avoid it wherever I can.
That said if your scars are not on your arms and legs a public display can at least be avoided most of the time.
For me those marks slowly reverted into the background of my daily life. But sometimes they are a reminder how I was back then.
Sometimes I even want to be that person. It is weird but most likely I am just envious of that youthful guy that was so full of life that this yearning was enough to leave these marks on my body. Even though I romanticize that time. . .

The reason I even answer is the second to last sentence of your second post. I resonate with that feeling and action… But mutilation was the wrong approach even if it was impulsive. IT was the only way I could feel anything at this point of my life. Really it is the perception of being worth nothing that leads to this behavior.
You just do it without thinking.

I hope you are at least out of this hole. Rest assured that most of you self worth issues are not your fault but the way we live. People don't know and don't want to know and this can have a result in many ways. One of them is self harm. If you want to have some way of control you need to blend in at some point.
It is a constant struggle and sucks but it needs to be done to survive.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


I have cut my thighs in the past with a razor blade. Recently I have preferred to burn myself with matches, I like that a lot better. It just gives me a rush and I feel a little better, it is a slight compulsion.


Thanks for the reply lain. Yeah… if mine haven't faded by now they're probably here for life like you say. I don't care much about strangers seeing them, but around my family I'm always paranoid that my clothes will come up and they'll see and put me in therapy or something. I have nostalgia for times in the past where I know I was just as miserable too. It's weird. Everyone wants to switch their struggles with someone else's, but doing that to myself makes me feel like a goldfish. I'd write a note to my future self, but I'm hoping I won't be in a position to need it by then.

The thing causing it for me isn't so much self worth as despair for the state of my life/future/world/reality. Self worth is mixed in there but it's not a big part. I'm not quite out of the hole yet… and honestly I don't know how I could be, because most of my despair feels completely justified and reasonable. My way of seeing is always developing though, maybe there's something new in the distance that puts all of this in a different light.

>If you want to have some way of control you need to blend in at some point

Could you explain this a bit more?


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Another cutter fag here, I used to do it to snap out of depression trance, that state where you can't discern your surroundings. I mostly don't care if people see it because I hardly consider most people people, but it makes me self conscious around the relevant people.
Anyone ever tried something to ease the scars? I read about a silicon gel but the thing is expensive.


Never cut myself on purpose but I would punch and kick things as a habit absent mindedly so much that my skin would break on my shins and knuckles. I have also smashed my head repeatedly against walls as well as punching walls in anger really hard most of the work I have done in my life has been hard labor and lots of alchohol abuse so I have been hit in the head by people and objects many times and I know it has affected my brain not so much physical scars(tho I do have them) but the scars on my brain

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Perhaps it's a stupid question, however having never worked a day in my life I feel this feeling is no different from the existential dread of the inevitability of growing old and dying. Just as if you're severely balding or have some kind of terminal illness, there is quite literally nothing one can do to prevent it. As of now I can only feel numb to the fact.

>Question: How can one manage to survive as a hikkikomori? Answer: Because one's food, clothing, and shelter are often assured regardless of situation. In today's society, as long as you're guaranteed the barest essentials, you can continue to live out your hollow existence indefinitely. I didn't realize it before, but in a way, being able to live as a hikkikomori is a luxury. Without the assurance of food, clothing, and shelter; unless you're prepared to die, there's no other choice but to work.
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I just don't want to go back to that lifestyle of working 10 hours and riding on a bus for 2 hours on 4-6 hours of sleep, every single day.


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I am not sure how are things in your country but in mine a senior office job nets you twice the minimum wage (aka enough for one person to sub exist, not enough for car or house and don't even think about a family). Imagine working for 25 years and your work is worth the same as two 15yo…
It reminds of the guy that works as the gatekeeper here in my building. He starts at 07:00 and goes home at 18:00, he just sits in a plastic stool with a mask on his face and watches the sky… No books, no phone, no dogs, no music, no radio… He is fat and balding and must be 40yo. I doubt he makes twice the minimum wage and he doesn't even live in the apartment complex he watches over. I can only guess but the only way someone living like this didn't suicide must be because of their children because his work condition is nothing sort of inhumane.


fuck that sound so depressing. I wouldnt last a Month


weird kitty i like him



what the kitty ?

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I've never been able to work on account of my schizophrenia. I am on SSI, but it's not enough to get an apartment without sharing the rent. I recently got kicked out of the place I was staying because I failed to get my name on the lease before moving in. The apartment manager waited to tell me this was against the rules until I'd already been living there for 2 months.

Currently couch surfing waiting for her to let me come back, but it seems unlikely. The uncertainty and constant money problems make my condition worse and I don't see any end in sight because the only affordable option in America for me is Section 8 housing, which takes 5 to 10 years to get approved for and situated in a home.

Anyone else just in permanent limbo on account of disability and constant threat of homelessness? It feels inescapable



Can't you just go live in a trailer park in some shitty state where nobody wants to live?

I'm from France so I just dunno how things work in the US, just wondering…


Even trailer homes in shitty states cost money, and I really don't have enough. Even if I did, I can't seem to pass the driving test on account of severe social and performance anxiety. Everything in most parts of the U.S., most of all the states no one wants to live in, everything is so spread out that one must own a vehicle even to get to the nearest grocery store.

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What works depict hikikomori/shut-in characters that you found relatable?
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Tomoe is literally a student, she's more an outcast than anything. I heard the manga is sort of changing the overall theme and its becoming more slice of life as she's making new friends.


This was nice to read, thank you.


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Great read, thanks fren.
Yeah first year watamote is a complete different manga, she grew a lot. I still very much relate to her tho, I similarly had a complete isolated high school experience but had a sudo social circle in college so kind of understand how it feel when all of a sudden you have """friends""".


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My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness.
This is a really interesting take on how someone deals with their demons. It is absolutely a different take compared to my own but at the same time is so easy to understand her conundrum even if her mindset is completely different from mine. Also it's not fiction. Also it's a little gay.


A lot of Kabi's works fit well in here, I think. If you've ever struggled with adult responsibilities, trying to move out, or getting cripplingly dependent on alcohol, you might find something in them.

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There's probably something fucked up about how I lead my life but I just couldnt afford to do what the rest of people do, I dont want things to be predictable… I lived as a hobo with people on the road or on my own for the last 4 years but now even this is becoming to seem shallow, I dont know what to do to not get bored by life… Sometimes I feel I should just start a revolution… I feel like I'm missing something to have a fulfilling life, maybe I should get a gf and start simping but no grill will want of a hobo who lives in a trailer and digs trash to eat and live…
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Junkyards and e-waste recycle bins of supermarkets mostly…


Anon if you feel nostalgic… go back to it. Integrate it into your present life. And make it your foundation so you can go and do new challenging things. And then return to the warm familiarity.

idk if that actually works but i do it. I want to have a varied and exciting life too but i need stability so i can pay for internet



Not like I can go back to high school and be 17 again tho and this is what I really miss… Like what can I fo to be in a thriving social environnement? Probably not much if you think about it, especially as by growing up I've developed higher standards for people I find interesting, which makes things harder but yeah, I should at least try, just don't really know where to begin, I was thinking maybe by moving to a new country starting a new life and making friends could be easier… dunno…


Have you considered joining a intentional community? A secular one, not the sort that's going to ask for your money or demand some spiritual commitment. If you're interesting even the slightest I'll come back to this thread sometime and detail my visitor period at Twin Oaks for you.




Hmmm, sounds interesting, problem is I live in France and there's not a lot of those in here, I lived in small communities but there always was a problem with drugs/alcohol among members, the best community experience I had was during COVID, I lived at some friend's uncle's farm for 2 months and it was great, we just did not keep on after COVID…

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>years since I've left high school
>mid 20s
>still haven't managed to move out
>extremely low on money

I know there's still hope, but its feeling pretty bleak right now… I'll never get the past 5+ years back which is what I want the most, my formative years. I can only move forward

Anybody here manage to finally move out recently after years of living with a parent/family? I'm trying to get out of here and I have a strong feeling it will vastly improve if I can distance myself from this place


No, I'm still living with my parents. But I think there is nothing to be shamed of if you live with your parents. I wouldn't talk to anyone if I lived on my own, so I think living with my parents is better for my mental health.


>formative years
time spent is part of you. don't regret it. I've only recently moved away at 27 and I still rely on charity to get by. It's okay to rely on others, but always make sure you're doing something positive for yourself so you can grow and stand on your own.


Later is better than never.

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Do you ever feel like you're passively observing your life, or that the physical world is no more real than the virtual one or the one in your head? Do you ever forget the meanings of the subjective or abstract, or stop understanding the purpose of normal human actions like saying words or putting food in themselves?
Is there anything specific that caused this for you? How long does it go on for, and how often does it happen? I remember a while back I nearly got hit by a car because it happened when I was in the middle of the road and I just stopped moving.
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>and sometimes i just dont feel my actions are mine. i feel they are robotic being performed automatically regardless of my mind. this happened earlier today and most often happens when outside going to the shop
>Sometimes I like to just watch my thoughts like they aren't mine, and it really feels like i'm just some foreign perspective watching a machine run on auto. When I think like that, all my actions feel completely predetermined – Simply a collection of fundamental particles governed by determined, albeit probabilistic, laws, and i'm merely a sentience along for the ride. I probably don't even exist.

The basis of everything are waves/vibrations. The "infinite consciousness" is the source of all vibrations. The body is a vessel connected to the infinite consciousness and this connection is expressed through the "body consciousness" and it automatically makes the body perform actions that match its vibrational frequency, or in other words, its thoughts and emotions. When the body consciousness is unaware of its connection with the infinite consciousness but starts to remember, thoughts and feelings such as yours can be experienced.




I don't even know what I want anymore


This used to be my constant state of mind the last couple of years as a NEET.
It happens when I'm using the internet too much, when I get too much input from people. Our brains aren't made for this kind of lifestyle.


I dealt with it for years. The only way you are going to ease it is going out and interacting with people. Working a job you forget all about dissociation.

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I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'm so lazy. It's a real obstacle in my life. There are things I want to do (they're not even obligations) and I just can't.


What do you think is the root of your laziness? I'm the same as you, and honestly its probably a mix of just apathy and never really ever needing to develop a work ethic for anything when I was young since I'd always be able to get by without putting in much effort.


I understand you perfectly, my friend. Procastination is the worst enemy you can afford. I know it's easier to say things than to actually get off your ass and do productive things, but try to create a habit as soon as you can, start with small tasks, like something that takes you 3 minutes to do, every day, and slowly start increasing the time and add new tasks. Getting into a habit is gradual and slow, but it is extremely satisfying when you realize that you have reduced laziness.


Lazy is not a real word. There is always a root cause of your actions (and inaction). If you're having trouble doing something consistently, question yourself as to why you're doing it. Is it what you want to do? What will you gain from it? If its something you do want to do, then question yourself as to why you're not doing it. Is it fear?


iktf, extremely lazy myself. I sometimes think if I had more daily sunlight, near my eyes, I'd somehow get better

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