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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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(The old thread was unstickied because it got bogged down with dead links and is difficult to navigate.)

New Rule: One post per service please! Duplicate ads may be deleted. This especially includes discord links. To make a permanent discord link, click on instant invite, go to advanced settings, and change the expire time to never.

Do you have a neat web community or chat group you'd like to invite people to? Maybe want to drop your messaging handle and strike up some conversations? Do it here.

Chat/community/personal ads are no longer allowed on the rest of the board.

Important Note: This doesn't mean that you can't talk about communities or chat groups. You could, for example, have a thread where you ask people about web communities they visit. You just can't open your thread with an advertisement.


Old thread (bumplocked): >>3
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An update, the zine just has been released. You can download it at blackfogzine.org

Enjoy :3

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Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Ever consider taking a vow of silence?

Like I get so tired of people calling me stupid or retarded… or just giving me *that* look. It would be so much easier to just shut up forever.
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How? A good western show will show people reacting realistically. What shit have you been watching? I'm not talking about anime or anything like that.


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>Yes. I'm very well aware of these socially accepted head motions taught during early childhood.
Sorry, I wanted to make emphasis on "clearly" but it came out as condescending. By this I meant the other person sees you and understands you noded or shaked your head.

I am in a similar position to you (I prefer to use intonations too instead of replying) and in the past people didn't get I noded so they ended asking if I was listening and such. This is why I recommend this, since it worked.

I said "clearly", not like a retard. The other person sees you and thinks "that's a nod, alright".


I don't remeber the last time i've nodded during casual conversation. It's the kind of thing you do when you're trying to communicate with a person who's on the phone or when you're too far away to hear them. Just seems unnatural to me.


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I'm not a natural person, so I do what works. I have problems with oral communication. It's not that I'm retarded and can't talk, but sometimes I feel like I think too fast and I can't put it into words in time and end stuttering/stuck. So I try not to speak too fast, if I do even speak; otherwise body gestures are more comfortable for me. Nobody complained so far so I don't see a reason for quitting. The people who talk with me are used to my personality so I guess they adapted.


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Clarifying it to only "good" shows gives a little more ground to your argument.
However, it's still a bad idea because the fact is, it's scripted - it's fiction, fake. True, you might be able to infer some general gesticulation/expressions, but real people won't react to them the same as fictional characters do and you'll most likely miss certain nuances. Just stick to observing reality.

Could this be a cultural thing? Even in casual conversation here it's fairly normal to nod to acknowledge that you've heard/understood parts of it, to show that you agree with whatever sentiment your listener is expressing or even just to greet someone on the street. Something similar to how the Japanese add short quiet comments during a conversation, while the same is seen as rude in some western cultures. You've also got the stereotype of Italians gesticulating wildly even talking over the phone.

Ah. I'm almost exactly the same as you in this regard.
I still keep talking fast because I'm afraid of sounding retarded, and I end up doing shit like mincing my words, using them in an odd order, constantly pausing because I can't remember the exact word for the concept I'm thinking of… It pisses me off because as I get older it happens more and more often. I thought my brain was supposed to be in its prime right about now.
Another interesting thing, I've started studying Japanese recently and I've noticed that I've been beginning my sentences with the topic, as if using the 'wa' particle, even when it doesn't sound natural in my native tongue, so it seems that language code mixing might be one of the causes for my syntax problems.

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What's the thing with the japanese stuff? A lot people here share their interest here. I mean I know some stuff and like some manga / anime artwork, but I wouldn't call me particular interested in japanese culture, language or media. Anyone who isn't really passionate about this?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


I don't know about everyone else but for me it's quite particular. The city I grew up in has a sizable japanese population, I've known a few of them by circumstance. I was friends with some japanese and other asian kids and we'd talk about anime. I remember discussing the first pokemon commercial ever at school the next day.
you couldn't even find this video online until recently. I saw one kid playing pokemon silver before it was released in america. my first crush was on a japanese girl. I've also seen trashed manga and newspapers in foreign language in the street before. I could go on and on but you get the point.


Japanese stuff is pretty different in comparison to most western stuff, I think it makes pretty good escapism because of that and attracts a lot of similar people.


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that makes me nostalgic. there's something i miss about old pre-social media days where there was something more genuine developing in the communities. i miss some of my old neighbors the most and wish i kept in contact. I remember this one really cute Asian girl in my neighborhood and she would send me comics that she would slide under my front door. I always enjoyed talking to her. I wonder what she is up to now.

writing this paragraph evoked something painful in my thought process. i really don't think i meet anyone who makes me happy like that anymore except online.


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I think I know what you mean thought I didn't know my neighbors well. one of them was this old russian man who lived alone, then one year he died. once he gave me a wrench out of nowhere and I was a kid who didn't know anything about tools so I thought it was weird but now I realize how grateful I should have been. anyway I used to poke around online at my old friends and saw them reminiscing over an old picture of them and they couldn't care less about me anymore. I don't think I was the "token" in their group, I was genuinely less close to them. I didn't get an allowance and go out and do kids stuff like most kids did. Sad since the 90s was the last chance to really do that type of thing. I'd always think it was weird when I'd get presents like that, like a wallet or a keychain since I had no money or keys, I didn't care about them. I found an old power rangers wallet in my garage, from the original series(US series obviously). maybe I'll start using it for the fuck of it.


Do you have any way to contact her? I'm sure she'd be happy to see you again.

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Ayy,ive just started going outside more recently i think i can adapt more to society i try to walk out side 1nce a day


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Good job. If people make you too uncomfortable, try going out at really early hours in the day, when most are still asleep. Listen to the chirping birds and chase the rising sun.

I made myself a promise two years ago or so to take a photo of the sunrise from a particular place in town. I still haven't owned up to that, even though I've seen it in passing by train and car. I might be a little superstitious here, but the prettiest sunrises always seem to come up on days that mark some kind of important change in my life. Sets the mood just right.


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Sunset/sunrise is usually the most calming time of the day too. the sky is so beautiful, so dense and vibrant. sunset/sunrise and night are my favorite times of day

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Post things you've made or things you are proud of. Creating things can feel nice when you have been alone and devoid of accomplishment.


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OP here, Ill start. I have made a pong clone with Reimu and Cirno from Touhou, it also has health bars instead of just a score. Originally I planned to add more characters to be selectable but I never really got around to that, maybe ill come back to it one day.


post it


I guess I can. Id like to clean some of it up a bit and add a disclaimer, since it was just a personal project. but I can probably put it up somewhere tomorrow.

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Sup everyone. I'm a longtime on and off lurker and recovering hikki/NEET that's nearing thirty. Looking for advice or insights on my current situation, or just shared experiences…

I've started working recently and I don't know what to do to improve my current situation. It's a menial job at a restaurant and busy days can be pretty tough, I don't want to keep doing this forever, but I don't have much in the way of qualifications. Nor am I a very able person, I've been a NEET for more than 50% of my life and lacking in a lot of common life skills, partially due to Aspergers Syndrome and possible mild narcolepsy.

I was thinking of going to university but my track record regarding my educational career had been so poor I'm afraid to do so, also I feel I might be too old, and the thing I want to study hardly guarantees a successful career. At least I'm lucky to live in a country where education doesn't cost an arm and a leg, I can afford it without going into debt.

All I do these days is work, eat, sleep, play vidya and study a little Japanese. My shitty work schedule means I can hardly go out to meet my friends. I'm sorry for being incoherent, if you read my gibberish thank you. tldr; my life sucks mildly: what do?? Especially to people that managed to crawl out of their hell holes to improve their lives. How did you do it?
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If you move to some area with flourishing tourism, you could overwork yourself to the bone during the season as many people do and then live off that for the rest of the year.The job most people here turn to and one of the only ones where you can make a meaningful profit without investing too much is waiting tables / barrista, where you can make a pretty hefty profit off of tips alone in some places, but you can probably imagine how stressful it is, and it requires at least some semblance of social and motor skills. I couldn't stand it for more than a week even in a tiny restaurant. Expecting proficiency after 7 days of lifetime experience might be too much, but I'm still fairly certain that normal people aren't as clumsy or forgetful as I was. In short, I was pathetic. So choose with some thought.


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I just to Maine. What you described fits most of the people there. Working on a boat is another seasonal job that requires less on the fly social interaction. Don't know much about the pay, but I heard it was good.


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People are hell.
Working with people is hell.

The souschef just blew up at me again for??? Reasons I don't understand?? I have no idea what I did to get on his bad side. The boss is utterly confused about what is going on but we should be discussing it tomorrow. I'm tired of walking on eggshells when the souschef is here. Everyday I give it my best shot, and I understand that my 100‰ might look like someone else's 60‰, but I know that other people can see that I'm busting my ass off. It makes me sad, because I actually like the work and my coworkers, but it is not worth all the stress this is causing me. The souschef is an stubborn old guy and even if I explain about my disability tomorrow he is likely not going to change his mind about me :(


Does he treat everybody like that? How do the symptoms of your disability affect your behavior?


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Well, I don't want to get too much into it, but I may appear standoff ish or curt to some people. I get along fine with all off my other collagues however And yeah, he mostly seems to have it out for me. I try not to take it personal but I can't help but think he really detests me for being weird.

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 No.254[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

How old are you?

ADMIN NOTE: This discussion is OK again since the change to Rule #1.
146 posts and 49 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Trouble began 10 years. Holy fuck, nobody can choose their family and what people you get exposed to, when you're still young. And mine got fucked up suddenly back then.


PFFT, I'm 27 and started having troubles at 4.




2 8


Jesus Christ, I thought I had it bad.

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Hey, /hikki/! Needed advice, and you guys are pretty fucking helpful no matter what, so …

You see, I used to have friends and that kinda stuff but i got hit with depression and anxiety so we fell out of touch.

One "friend" in particular is acting like a huge bitch over the fact I can't hang out cause I'm too busy healing and taking care of myself instead of talking about boys and relationships. She keeps talking about me behind my back and acting like I'm just a nuisance in group projects when she barely does any work herself and I have to carry the team.

Yeah, I basically was her personal slave. Now I am too pissed and nervous about everything, I'm free!

Problem is, what do I do with her?
When we get paired, she acts all huffy and shit.

Please help, Ubuu!
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


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8th grade, anon, forgot to mention!

I will! Thank you.
For starters, girls do have a tendency to gossip. That discourages open discussion of things.(USER WAS BANNED FOR BEING UNDERAGE)


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>What could they possibly do to you?
Social ostracization. Middle schoolers aren't allowed on this board as far as I know, however.

>I am sure if she is a friend, she will do anything to help you get better.

Is there even any point in calling people that trash talk you behind your back and treat you as a slave friends? Doesn't seem to fit the definition to me.
Distance yourself from her as much as you can, before she sucks out your soul. Not that it's an easy thing to do, but you'll be glad for it later in life.

>8th grade

Yikes. That explains some things I guess.


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It's been a while since I've seen this message, based mods.


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Basically, what >>5020 said.

>What could they possibly do to you?
There are thousands of ways people can make life a hell for you in a circle of people if they have more power than you inside it. It really depends on how much of a bitch that person is, and from what we can read from OP's intel, this one is a big one.

>Grow a pair, op. If somebody is giving you a problem, tell them. What could they possibly do to you?
This only makes sense if you have more power than them when you "grow the pair". If you confront somebody who is stronger than you or in a better position socially, you will only make a fool out of yourself and will become the target of hate and mocking or even violence in some cases (depends on the person).
All of this supposing you actually are shy/reticent/low-profile/whatever fits the classical /n/profile, and the other girl has actually power inside your social circles. If in reality you don't give a fuck about people and this "friend" (or she doesn't have any say in your world), by all means do this. Do not let yourself be stepped on.

Now, to OP: Unfortunately, you didn't seem to know about our rules. Underage users aren't allowed on this site (we're +18 for a variety of reasons). Next time play it smart and ignore age questions.
I'd paste an IRC channels or something in case you wanted expanded advice, but since you're underage and female, that's a terrible idea and the ideal excuse for people to call me (or anyone joining that channel) a pedophile, so sadly, that won't happen.
Anyway, in my opinion you should cut out your relationship with this girl. You obviously aren't in for what she wants off you, and she acts like a bitch to you, so yeah, you aren't really "friends". Do not hang out with her, if you end up being with her in some project or something, ignore her stupid comments (i.e. do not rebut) but don't treat her badly, and keep your distance (i.e. work with the other people in your group). If after a long while she's still like this, yeah, talk with other of your friends and see what would be the better approach. What do your other friends thinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


Tell your parents, if they give two shits about you they will do something about it, one adult should be enough to handle problems with a bunch of kids, unless they don't care or are completely useless.

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hey guise
what's the longest period you've been without a bath?
I haven't showered in 5 days, my record is 2 weeks
11 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


1.5 week.
It was when all the bad things were happening to me at once and I didn't have any decent emotional support.

Now a days I shower every other day because I don't like the feeling of greasy hair.


I once went two months because I liked the smell.I used to always do that, but now I take a bath almost everyday.Is also like to add that if you don't wash your hair for a few weeks in a pony tail it will stay stuck together when you take the hair band off.


About 2-3 months, but I washed my hair, face and neck every morning.
It was pretty much the same since I dont sweat. To this day I dont even need deodorant.


Probably 2 weeks. Depression is a bitch and being dirty makes me even more depressed and the cycle just continued. Didn't even wanna look at myself in the mirror.


please wash your balls regularly. depression is an explanation but not an excuse

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