[ yn / yndd / fg / yume ] [ o / lit / media / og / ig / 2 ] [ ot / cc / x / sugg ] [ hikki / rec ] [ news / rules / faq / recent / annex / manage ] [ discord / matrix / scans / mud / minecraft / usagi ] [ sushigirl / lewd ]

/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

Password (For file deletion.)

The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

File: 1454626044524.jpg (18.8 KB, 704x400, Satou.jpg)


From now on, the >>>/rec/ board should generally be used for conversations about recovery from NEETism. This is not a hard rule but you are likely to have a better experience.

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1552249130889.jpg (41.33 KB, 500x490, 52849922_10212787277549178….jpg)

File: 1669453175706.png (1.06 MB, 602x838, ivy (small bg photo).png)


Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. THe problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)
8 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I already conceded and am going to move back in with them even though I'll be alone. It's unfortunate, and my relationship with my partner is unlikely to last, but I won't be any good to her or anyone else dead.

I would post more but I think it's prohibited to dump art here for no reason. Glad you like it, anyway. If you want to see more, I'm on Twitter as @wanderersn3xus, and on Tumblr as @alver0sa


It's not prohibited to dump art here "for no reason", but if you want to start a thread exclusively dedicated to art, feel free to make one on >>>/o/


I feel like it may do well on the creepycute board, but I'm unsure about the rules there pertaining to posting your own work. I don't want to get banned for shameless self-advertising or anything like that, lol.


File: 1670456149839.png (144.23 KB, 400x400, i am a robot.png)

Surely you're not here to be told the obvious, but genuinely: go into this with an open mind. None of us here know your family or your relationship with them, and I won't assume it's good just because they've offered to support you for now - God knows I've known people with a shitty family life that still feeds them and puts a roof over their heads - but it never hurts to try it. If you can have a talk with them, or try to involve them in your long-term treatment and coping with your disorders, you might get a little time to stabilise your life.

Try and get your meds as soon as you can, and determine what's most pressing to work on: your unstable lifestyle, your abusive relationship issues, or those dependency issues. I'd hope more schizophrenics will post soon, as again, I can only really relate to your dependency problems, and mental disorders more generally. But if you ever need to reach out in a low-risk way, this board is a good place to do it sometimes. Just be careful with what personal accounts you advertise on any imageboard.

I personally wouldn't worry about getting b& for posting original content with your posts, >>>/cc/ included. You can always try to summon Sei and see what they think.


There's no rule against posting your own content. I suggested >>>/o/ because that's where "art" generally goes (even the creepy or "unnerving" pictures), but feel free to use >>>/cc/ instead if you think it's more fitting. Both boards deserve more love and activity.

Also, sorry if I didn't comment anything in particular regarding your situation, but I agree with the other anons, and I don't have much to contribute myself, sadly. I sincerely hope things get better for you soon.

File: 1655350595859.png (167.31 KB, 2616x2012, TIME AND SOUND.png)


listening to time by pink floyd good night anons, i wish a very very nice night and sweet dreams
draw made it by me: PURRanon
6 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


File: 1667769791874.png (11.55 KB, 1105x801, me.png)


File: 1667779977300.png (18.49 KB, 436x379, Andy.PNG)

Self portrait. What do you think?


cute :3


File: 1670362781031.png (460.68 KB, 2600x2000, this will end well.png)

decided to do this to refresh my brain while i was drawing smth else. love drawing


Cute drawings.

File: 1638990605605.png (216.21 KB, 468x430, 1582081713186.png)


just figured out I suffer from this shit, and it really explains a lot of the shit I went through and the hellish state is trapped in now. so I was wondering if any of you anons are suffering from the same shit?

but before it's asked no schizoid personality disorder is not related to schizophrenia.
20 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I've read quite a lot of bores so yours can't be drudging as I'm interested in what you have to say and also because if I might have it. I have the "symptoms" to a T and don't think anything's necessarily wrong with me for having them but am still amicable towards the act of befriending and used to be a talkative person who cracked jokes (not that I was sunshine), though looking back at when I was homeschooled I would've been comfortable not saying anything to anyone and that I didn't want to be lonely hence why I forced myself to talk but that could just be me ignoring my gut to stop seeking others' approval. A lot of my morality may just come off as having it as well, and I don't know what came first and if it came subconsciously. I deduced I could be a sperg, negative schizo, depressed, a mere moody sycophant, etc. so I'd like to hear how you feel. The company I keep could've also made me one manually so maybe I was nurtured into it and therefore not really have it, or I surrounded myself with such people in the first place because our frequencies blended better. I'm playing up the disorder like it's supposed to fit into this box and personality that normal people who don't understand view it as which is obnoxious and insufferable but for the sake of covering all angles and its guidelines I muse. I know this post is garbage because I've recently been mindfucked. I want to know for myself if I have it because I am only a human and therefore can be quantified and understood better, not because I want a label.


"schizoid personality disorder" doesn't cause anything, it is a description of symptoms. Compared to real disorders, having the symptom itself is the disorder regardless of underlying causes.

>It's demonstrably made my life harder in the past to the point I can't in good conscience call it a bogus diagnosis

This is entirely wrong and the main reason why I don't like "schizoid personality disorder". It has not made your life harder. What has made your life harder was your inability to connect with people, your fear of intimacy, and your destructive personality. You do not have schizoid personality disorder any more than stacy has whoreish slut disorder. If there is a biological difference in people with spd, then there is a biological difference in everybody with a unique personality.


File: 1670100780197.png (179.87 KB, 460x600, Angelasketch.png)

I'm curious what you were going to say about nature v. nurture so I could have a focused base to my experiences and thoughts on the logic and nature of it. If it's something that can develop from circumstance can it also regress with time and effort, how much of it converges with the post-war isolation and mental sickness of our age, it only has a low diagnosis rate because few people care to get it confirmed by psychologists and are unbothered by it so how many "schizoids" exist, it's oddly widespread for a mental disorder or much of humanity simply has become more jaded and withdrawn. None of the symptoms stuck out to me as illogical to get induced to or something that can't be inherited nor comes off as anything more than a state of mind.

When I read about it for the first time it seemed like a maladaptive introverted personality that underwent childhood transgression/trauma, similar to how the earlier post asked how this is considered a disorder. So I wonder what the logic and feelings were when you just felt like not socializing anymore and getting depressed, and what the reply to that post said about similarities in it despite different upbringings and experiences. And if I do have it and relate to what you went through it'd explain things I didn't even realize about my behavior and choices towards socializing. Excuse me if my two previous posts were rushed and ingenuine, and put you off from carrying the conversation, I'm really trying and I am interested. I also got diagnosed with ADHD and OCD as a child if that helps.

Also to expound, I believe personality disorders can be caused by abnormal wiring in the brain and that you could be born with it but it will manifest later in life, like how some schizos only begin to develop symptoms in the 20s and 30s despite having a normal upbringing.


7546 isn't me either.


To sum up why I feel this specific set of personality traits was from nature rather from nurture in my case:
First, I'm an extremely close match to the ones described in the DSM and ICD, with no factors missing or mismatching in those two. It just seems a lot more likely to me that such a close fit would happen if the cause were physical rather than environmental. The idea being that the environment is more variable, malleable and unlikely to give consistent results.

The fact that this well-delineated grouping of 'symptoms' reoccurs enough for it to become a diagnosis is a strong indication to me that it's something physical. I have some background in biology, and when studying genetic disorders this kind of pattern shows over and over: some single translation protein gets fucked up somewhere, the signal it was supposed to send is lost and it all cascades through the signaling pathway to produce an array of seemingly unrelated symptoms that nonetheless have a single discrete (or close to it) physical cause. My thinking is that it just happens that in this case the symptoms all happen inside the brain and are a little fuzzier and more well-hidden than something like, say, epilepsy.

Second, I was an extremely normal boy in a normal upbringing before the (rather pronounced) onset of it around age 11-13. I had no trauma, I had nothing bad happen to me, no accidents, nothing. It just happened by itself with no apparent prompting. It has also not once wavered and my preferences haven't given any sign of shifting in the near 20 years since.

Again, this is just my perspective and I have no hard evidence. I'm also not denying that in other people's cases the environment may have a greater impact: human beings aren't isolated systems, and it's not predictable how some trauma or how you were raised will interact with a developing physical brain chemistry disorder: things are rarely as clear cut as my case apparently is when it comes to mental development and issues.
Even if I'm right and it is actually a physical 'disorder' in the way I'm thinking, I have to imagine it would also fully possible to arrive at the same or very similar 'symptoms' through a separate path even if you don't have it.

>when you just felt like not socializing anymore and getting depressed

I should address this,Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: 1669452195947.png (7.44 KB, 380x390, Untitled.png)


I genuinely don't know how to connect with people anymore. They always say making online friends is an easy option, but I can't even bring myself to digitally chat to anyone about my interests. Even posting this is taking up a lot of nerve for me. Nearly graduating college, and I haven't made a singular friend in university. My classmates are either arrogant, rich kids or pretentious know-it-alls. I don't know what I wanna do once I graduate. Probably get a job and earn some money. It's kinda pathetic to say that I wanna earn enough so I could afford seeing a therapist. Therapy is so expensive here, I haven't even had an actual medical check-up in years. And not to be that guy who self-diagnoses mental illness, but I think there is something up with me that can't be just chalked up to "introversion". I want really do wanna make friends, but at the same time, I feel detached and disconnected from everyone. I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.

I made one online friend, and that was because I was so fucking desperate and possibly manic that I messaged them first. Haven't been close with them recently. Now, I still wanna talk to them, but I don't want to bring them down with my bullshit depressing nonsense. My cousins keep inviting me to go out and I'm grateful for them. But, I can't help feeling like a charity case. I know full well there's some pity there, and that my parents asked them to hang out with me. Likely because they were that worried I was a piece of shit loner. I don't wanna come off as being completely sad, I feel kinda okay actually, it's just it feels like I'm just floating by directionless, making no impact on anything or anyone.


>Nearly graduating college, and I haven't made a singular friend in university.
You may have more opportunities than you realize. Have you joined any clubs or online chats linked to your university? I often find that it's hard to relate to other people and once I find myself having a brief conversation with someone the room is filled with silence. But people are more alike than you think.
>I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.
You must not be afraid to share personal details. If someone you like asks you what your favorite music is, tell them, but don't be cringey or edgy about it. You have to be able to openly talk about the things you enjoy, just don't vent about yourself.
>My classmates are either arrogant, rich kids or pretentious know-it-alls.
It's hard to be friends with someone if you always look down on them or find a reason not to like them. People are more than their outward appearance.


Why are you still here?
Do you browse other chans?


I come back every once in a while, not very often at all. The same goes for other imageboards. I recently joined a group (still in university) and this was not something I would have ever imagined for myself.

File: 1639786372713.gif (1.32 MB, 640x640, jack-frost-smt.gif)


How do you deal with an embarrassing past?
Also, share your embarrassing past. None will beat mine.

Humiliation is hard to overcome because I feel like I'm a trash human being, I'm constantly afraid that people will see my past in the afterlife and see all the humiliating things that happened to me and cringe. I can't be friends with them because I feel unworthy of their friendship.

I was a special ed student at 5 years old, spent all my youth with disabled people, they would lock me up in a padded room with no light when I misbehaved anyhow or didn't listen to the teacher.
I went to normal school after that and the teacher refused to let me use the bathroom, I peed my pants in front of the whole class and was bullied for 3 years over it.
I was bullied in 3 different schools because I had been sheltered and spoiled by my parents who thought they had a "special son".
I was beaten by bullies, isolated, humiliated, and had no friends for years.
I became bitter and angry and joined the chans, which fucked me up even more with gore videos and whatnot.
My parents left me to rot as a NEET for years to take care of my sisters and never paid attention to me.
I know my dad and mom hate me secretly and prefer my two sisters who are neurotypical.
I was an autistic retard, my whole youth. I can't overcome that and become someone I'm not. I will always be a retard.
36 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Is it easier to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend, or are other men just as selective in who they prefer?


File: 1666889312795.jpg (1.03 MB, 1600x1200, Konachan.com - 70916 blond….jpg)

I was bullied, not just by kids but also by their parents, for having ADHD. Back then, at least where I'm from, ADHD was seen as some sort of infectious disease and so it was very common for me to make a friend and then their parent telling them to not just stop talking to me, but also to make fun of me and bully me. This resulted in me having to change schools several times, also me pissing myself in class from being bullied too much a few times, throwing up a lot both because of being bullied and also health issues in class, and just generally just being made a fool of a lot. This also extended outsid of school in places I would typical frequent (I used to like swimming a lot so we went to this swimming club a lot) in which I would again be made a fool out of by the same people who would also get kids who were my friends to turn against me. This lasted for a while but eventually I transferred to a school in which this stopped happening.

Then the school, and furthermore my countries government, assigned me a teacher assistance to follow me around for every single class I took as part of a new assisted learning program in which I was patient 0 of. This stuck with me until I was around 16. I'll be honest with you, I loved 90% of the teachers they gave, and they really helped me with a lot, but with that also came a lot of bullying for being seen as a retard. I didn't really have any friends during this time

Sometime around 10 I got my first computer, found 4chan (unlucky) and went from a super fit swimchad into an obese hardcore introvert within a year. While I wasn't bullied hard or anything at this time people also used to throw trash at me (i guess because i was a social reject?) When I was about 14 I finally made a group of friends and even a few people I considered best friends.

When I was 15 one of these best friends raped me. When I told another best friend of mine after he kept asking what was wrong he later got drunk at a massive party and seemingly told my whole school. I don't think I really need to tell you what happened as a result.

When I was 16 I went to another school where I made a decent group of friends, who later would influence me to do an assortment of drugs (mostly weed but also psychs, 2cb, ket, etc) which resulted in me now having schizoaffective disorder and my doctor telling me if I were to ever do another psychadelic again I will end up full blown schizophrenic.

During 16-18 I had a gPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


holy shit I've been looking for a thread like this. I'm obsessing over the past. I worry that even if i become the president or something crazy like that, people will find out about my past and destroy all that I will have accomplished up to that point. This is why I have no ambition.


Don't really have it in me to write anything long-winded at the moment, but I struggle with daily things normal people find effortless and it sucks, especially at my age. I've only kind of learned to conceal it and play it cool, but this base incompetence follows me around no matter where I go it seems like.


File: 1669388211537.jpeg (110.77 KB, 749x732, A961E1CB-DE69-4D1B-814F-9….jpeg)

Embarrassment is a huge set off for me. Spent a lot of my childhood as a non masking autistic and I ended up getting in a lot of shit situations because people could point at me and say ‘yep that’s definitely an autistic.

must’ve been in like fourth grade when I realised I had forgotten one day that it was own clothes day (uniformed school lel) and everyone else had come in their clothes while I was in my uniform. Ended up having a huge meltdown in the street because of my embarrassment, got stared at loads.
Own clothes days have set me off ever since, I even broke down in twelfth grade when I realised I had done it again and I had to go home because I was crying so much.

I still don’t know how to deal with it, since embarrassment kind of comes pre packaged with being autistic in such a society. Getting jeered at, stared at, wondering why you’re so different.

Embarrassments just never been my favorite feeling in the world

File: 1615110184712.jpg (1.47 MB, 2338x1656, Cover.jpg)

 No.6422[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

I do not mean on this site but in general where are all the losers hanging out online now because all the imageboards are very slow and any of the bigger platforms are suffocating by censoring controversial opinions driving discussion of those topics away yet where is everyone?

ver the past 5 years it is like nearly every hikikomori realized that online communities for losers were not worth the drama or they killed themselves.
148 posts and 37 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Oops, I forgot to type anything. I have never browsed either of those websites you mentioned, but now I'm curious. I'm bored, so I guess I'll check them out and try to wrap my head around your analysis. I'm largely apathetic about society. I don't know if that's better or worse than being invested. I feel like I'm not a part of this story, but I like finding out about things, so thanks for this detailed post


I was hoping the story would stay simple and cute.


What happened to tohno? I can't access it.


It's still up but it supports http only.


It worked when I turned my VPN off. Seems like they blocked VPNs from accessing the site. Didn't know that was possible.


Anyone here do it? I used to cut myself open, just for the sake of it really, but I regret it a lot because the scars never faded and I'm covered in ugly lines that anyone would be able to tell are from self harming.

You may also post QTs cutting themselves up.
26 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


This is nuts, you're insane

Post more


why is it always femboy asians that do this (nice stockings)


I cut my arms up really bad in my mid-late teens/early twenties. It's definitely been hard to deal with but you learn to live with it and wonder sometimes why the fuck you did it. The mind adapts.

Also, I'm not sure why you get called a teenage girl when you admit to it when I can provide countless examples of fairly masculine men self-cutting. Seems like posturing to me, especially on these sorts of places.


File: 1668076122507.jpg (Spoiler Image, 2.92 MB, 3000x4000, IMG_20221104_144907.jpg)

Here you go. Add me if you want, I'm not going to post anything graphic here anyway. Maybe you can be my next obsession. AngelSyrup#4138

Thanks ♡

I'm not sure - maybe directing anger inwards is perceived as feminine & directing it outwards is seen as masculine.


I did cut some. It's taken me a long time to recover, but I have. I don't cut anymore.

File: 1489122371191.jpg (18.86 KB, 400x400, 7cXsoSrZ_400x400.jpg)


I guess I've been a "Hikikomori" since about about December, after having a constant struggle with my anxiety and depression which led to me dropping out of school, I'm currently looking for a job but for the past months have pretty much been a NEET. What I'm wondering are your days usually like? Do you have a schedule? If you have mental issues what helps you cope? Just curious


File: 1489215480360.gif (948.07 KB, 200x200, 1482451017038.gif)

How old are you? And I don't really have a schedule, but I have a list of things I set for myself to do each day (which may or may not get done). I also have anxiety and some bipolarism. Writing music usually helps me, but sometimes I start and then think to myself "why bother?" Funnily enough, listening to blues music is also extremely cathartic for me. I was an edgy metalhead most of my life and then started listening to some Albert King and SRV and it was like an epiphany.


Hello Denied.

Normally I wake up at around 1-2pm. If my mother is in the house, I order her to make me a bowl of porridge. Failing that, I'll begrudgingly head down to the kitchen to prepare myself a pot. After my daily bowl of oats, milk and honey, I like to meander over to the back garden where I'll sit on the deck chair for several hours listening to music on my iphone. (Slip Knot, Korn, ABBA, Linkin Park etc.) I enjoy this.

When the sun isn't shining on my glorious Aberdonian seaside cottage, I'll sit by the fire on my chair and play runescape on my lap top. This, and idle browsing of chan websites contines until around 3-4am, where I will the retire to my spacious race car bed.

If I am lucky my mother will prepare for me a dish of haggis, neeps and tatties.

Another factor i neglected to mention was that this daily routin is interuppted by bi weekly excursions to the job centre. I dislike going to the job centre as it involves leaving the house/back garden.




>What I'm wondering are your days usually like? Do you have a schedule?
wake up at lunch time
go to bathroom
eat a chocolate bar and drink some ice tea
check out imageboards, news and crypto currency prices
fire up PS3 and play video games
go on pc and watch anime or movies
go to bed

>If you have mental issues what helps you cope? Just curious

I am socially retarded and clumsy and I only feel at peace when I distract myself and interact with my immediate world the least possible. I am also sensitive to stress


I think a big part of my depression is never using my brain


I think I relate to this. I'm not an awkward person and I like to think I'm pretty normal, but what gets me are the days where I'm unproductive, like today. I was gonna study for this big test I have coming up, but I also enjoy working on my car a lot. It's very therapeutic to sit outside, put on some tunes and just proceed to fuck around with my project car. Today, however, I did neither of those things and I feel like shit because of it. I woke up at 8am today with motivation to really get shit done, but it's now just past 8pm and I'm thinking of all the hours wasted watching youtube videos and bullshitting when I could've studied for just an hour and it would've meant something and then maybe I'd feel okay to go work on my car. Fuck man just thinking about this kinda sucks, but tomorrow, even with much less free time during the day, I'm gonna tackle both those things and more. I can feel it

File: 1464618321830.png (153.03 KB, 294x335, 1459826046272.png)


I miss the NEET life I had…

> Current life in an apartment with girlfriend

> Have a job

But I'm still not happy. I feel I don't have enough free time. If I'm not working I have too little time left to sit down and actually enjoy a game, and when I don't do that I have to invest time in my relationship, and when I'm not even doing that, I have responsibilities to take care of.

Even if I have a job, I do NOT have money for myself, at all. When I was a NEET all my money and time was only for me, myself, and I. I don`t wanna go to work, I wanna sit down on my ass and make games and play games, but this lifestlye is long gone, no longer available. I regret some life decisions I made, I really, really wish I could still be a NEET.

Best scenario would be: Keeping my gf, become a NEET again, but this is clearly impossible.

Have you ever experienced regret from no longer being a NEET?
34 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


>I'm still not happy
There's some root problem you're not adressing.


>The problem isn't her, it's your job. Find a way to work less so you have more time to yourself.

He did say best case scenario is become neet and keep GF rather than NEET and drop GF or have or NEET and no GF


I felt the need to reiterate I guess because other posters were telling him to drop his girlfriend and I think this is a bad idea.


Had this life and was not happy, but returning to NEET life isnt the answer


bad advice

Delete Post [ ]
Previous [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22]
| Catalog
[ yn / yndd / fg / yume ] [ o / lit / media / og / ig / 2 ] [ ot / cc / x / sugg ] [ hikki / rec ] [ news / rules / faq / recent / annex / manage ] [ discord / matrix / scans / mud / minecraft / usagi ] [ sushigirl / lewd ]