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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1467565037281.jpg (122.25 KB, 1300x1300, social-network.jpg)

 No.1715[Reply]

(The old thread was unstickied because it got bogged down with dead links and is difficult to navigate.)

New Rule: One post per service please! Duplicate ads may be deleted. This especially includes discord links. To make a permanent discord link, click on instant invite, go to advanced settings, and change the expire time to never.

Do you have a neat web community or chat group you'd like to invite people to? Maybe want to drop your messaging handle and strike up some conversations? Do it here.

Chat/community/personal ads are no longer allowed on the rest of the board.

Important Note: This doesn't mean that you can't talk about communities or chat groups. You could, for example, have a thread where you ask people about web communities they visit. You just can't open your thread with an advertisement.

EFFECTIVE 01/24/2017: DO NOT POST NON-PERMANENT DISCORD INVITES. DEAD LINKS ARE A NUISSANCE AND SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS THREAD. IF YOUR DISCORD LINK EXPIRES YOUR POST WILL BE DELETED AND YOU WILL RECEIVE A WARNING BAN.

Old thread (bumplocked): >>3
31 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2651

File: 1485272583471.jpg (20.18 KB, 500x349, anger.jpg)

>>2649
>there is no delete post function



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 No.172[Reply]

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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 No.2658[Reply]

During multiple periods, I've been both NEET and Hikki on and off. At this moment I'm officially in training, but I don't have anything to do for weeks on end.

My question is, how do you guys deal with this? When I'm doing well I can fill my time with self study goals and even make art but for the past few days I can't even get out of bed. I feel crushed by my own incompetence in life. What helps you get through the day?


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 No.2635[Reply]

Is 5 months a neet bad?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2644

just neet in moderation and you should be fine.

 No.2650

not as bad as my 7 years

 No.2653

I was a neet for 5 years but I got better.

 No.2656

I'm confused, maybe I got my terms mixed up but aren't you considered a NEET after 6 months or is that hikki?

 No.2657

>>2656
NEET just means not in employment, education or training. You can be a homeless NEET, which keeps you outside, and you can work online and never leave your house, which makes you a hikki but not a NEET.
But yeah, pretty sure the actual definition for hikikomori says it's a person that hasn't left their house/room in 6 months+



File: 1464197487287.jpg (80.28 KB, 736x414, 51c40c1166c58121463068a638….jpg)

 No.1449[Reply]

Who are you missing right now, /n/?
44 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2571

>>2570
I've been on the opposite end of that where the person I miss stayed completely the same, but I've changed into somebody incompatible with them. I still miss the relationship I had with them and kind of wish they had changed with me.

 No.2572

I miss a co-worker who I learned died recently from cancer. I thought she would be returning this year. While I wasn't a super close friend of hers, I saw her as a comrade of sorts at work and she taught me a lot.

And to make things worse, I have another co-worker who was a real bro going through the same shit.

 No.2606

>>2572
Where do you work, a nuclear power plant?

 No.2610

>>2606
I kekked but no, I work in a retail store.

 No.2654

Asher.



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 No.2448[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

So with 2017 coming up, I wanted to know if you had any New Years resolutions, and how you plan to achieve them. Maybe we could post in this thread to give support or maybe even start a discord or whatever so we can help each other out.

My main goals are;
>Stop sitting in front of a computer so much
At first, I thought that just getting away from imageboards would be enough, but once you take away that, then you have things like YouTube which in a way is even worse than television since you can carry it with you everywhere you go or you can play video games for a long time. I had avoid imageboards for like two years but I was on YouTube for that whole time so what's really the difference?

>Start driving and be more social

I get rides to work and I would rather be able to drive myself, plus there are things I'd love to do but I need to drive there. I'm going to get more practice ASAP.

>Quit my job by getting enough income to allow me do my own thing


I don't mean become a NEET, I just hate having a boss. Luckily, making more than I make at my current job would be easy since 1000 bucks a month is chump change depending on what you do.

So, how about you guys?
107 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2632

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>>2627
I was responding to the discussion at hand and adding my two cents.

>If you can't respond appropriately to people you like throwing themselves at you than you need therapy…


>>Society and Christianity demonizing sex is the reason why you think sex is somehow dirty when there is absolutely no basis for that belief.


I was trying to say that I agree with you on this and using my previous self as an example of someone who thought they were asexual but was really just hanging onto old, toxic beliefs about others and myself that got in the way.

Also trying to gently tell the other anon that it's not healthy to see sexual people as degenerates because it's self sabotage to put people below you for that reason regardless of what you are or think you are.

I guess my other point was that it's ok to be weird(?). The women who were after me all were ok with my weird hobbies and one had gotten into them to try and impress me. It was my shit attitude that stopped stuff from happening not being a bit of a weirdo.

GIF is relevant

 No.2633

>>2632
also I'm scatterbrained from working and still being kind of sick

 No.2634

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>>2613
Well, since you have posted multiple times about people using you, here's a good way to test people, and it'll net you some cash. Just ask people a fair rate for whatever a person is asking from you. An adult would understand and pay if they really want it. After all, you have to feed yourself else you won't be around to really help them. This is what I do when people ask me all the time about their random computer problems, support me and I'll support you. And since you specially mentioned someone leading money to you, you could just say "No" and they should understand. Anything else would be some child getting mad because their golden stars for good behavior don't mean shit to adults outside of school.

>and the times I went to conventions or the like to find like-minded people I realized most were kids that didn't take the thing seriously. That isn't bad on itself, but if they hardly know what I'm talking about and show no interest in hearing more, then you can't call that a good chance either.


Situations like this would be a prime time to learn about other things about a person. Otherwise, the image I get with this sentence is that someone enjoys a hobby, just with less passion and is likely there to meet random people for the hell of it and then another person comes in and sees what he considers "casuals" and tries to explain things and gets blown off. Maybe explaining actual situations in greentext or something might clear that up, but that's kinda what pops in my head when I read this.

>Sure, our bodies are made in such a way we have desire, but that's not what we're talking about about. The problem is, what is the aim of such desire? And this is pretty subjective. If I wanted to mate with cows instead of women, then what?


>Then by this statment homosexuals do not have a sex drive, because they can't breed. Sexual drive is the need to fulfill your sexual needs, true, it stems from what you mean, but that isn't the problem itself, but rather where it ends. Even if my sexual needs are so distorted they get off from something not foresaw by our DNA and "breeding system", then this still applies. Because I'm fulfilling them.


One could argue that people who are homosexual or fuck animals have something off with them, but they Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.2639

File: 1485149500701.jpg (623.27 KB, 1600x1000, science.jpg)

I… just left for a few hours and… what the fuck happened here? Congrats, the thread looks fantastic. Good night, good luck to the people who set goals for 2017, wish you guys success this time.

>>2634
Oh yes, I've been using those. When people want me to fix their things, do them some favors, or when asking for help in college, and the like. With the last one I've been more and more lax because I see the potential of using mutual help with topics that are hard to digest, like physics, but sadly the number of assholes is big too.

>Situations like this would be a prime time to learn about other things about a person. Otherwise, the image I get with this sentence is that someone enjoys a hobby, just with less passion and is likely there to meet random people for the hell of it and then another person comes in and sees what he considers "casuals" and tries to explain things and gets blown off. Maybe explaining actual situations in greentext or something might clear that up, but that's kinda what pops in my head when I read this.

Oh sorry, maybe I should have gone deeper there. It's not like I was showing my great powerlevel to casuals. Most of the time it seemed to me they weren't really interested in what I had to say, and I knew too little of what they were talking. Feel free to read them or not, they are pretty boring though. http://pastebin.com/641xwe39

>Even I won't deny this, but using your hand or a sex toy by yourself isn't the same as sex with another person, much like playing Mario Party by yourself is nothing like playing with friends.

I don't know, I suppose you can say I prefer to play games alone than with friends. But I don't find this a problem, and since I don't see the point in obsessing over it I'm getting kind of tired of discussing it already. Beating this again and again feels like discussing why a straight person is straight or why homo is homo. If it was actually something bothering me then I wouldn't mind it but I genuinely feel good the way I am, contrary to what internet Freud and his epic almighty internet quest to spread science seems to believe.

>By this logic though, anyone would drive you mad. Here it sounds like you just overth
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 No.2642

File: 1485178245266.jpg (377.72 KB, 1920x1080, C4-yagyu1920x1080.jpg)

>>2639
>Oh sorry, maybe I should have gone deeper there. It's not like I was showing my great powerlevel to casuals. Most of the time it seemed to me they weren't really interested in what I had to say, and I knew too little of what they were talking. Feel free to read them or not, they are pretty boring though.

With the first one, I can see where the other person might of lost interest. It may not be this for you, but anime feels like a bunch of people watching the latest thing. So if you bring up something old like 80s anime, either they are like me and simply don't care for older anime or they love it but have discussed it to death already.

The Japanese game example, and really gaming in general is one case where finding at least a few mainstream games you truly enjoy could help you socialize more. I'm not crazy about a lot of mainstream titles either I do enjoy GTA for example so that helps me find common ground. I would say find something mainstream that is actually enjoyable.

But a general trend I see with all of this cases, is that this all under the whole "seller and buyer" relationship. People treat you differently when you have some vest or shirt that more or less says, "I'm here so just fuck my ass". This is from like four years of retail talking, so sorry if I sound mad. They expect a lot from you, some cheapass wants 50% for a small problem, you aren't allowed to call them out on their shit, etc. Basically, outside of the usual human kindness (don't get hurt, sorry to hear about your loss, etc) you don't matter as much because the "customer is always right" and similar shit. I'm somewhat overstating the problem but the idea is that if you are staff or a seller, you aren't on the same level as a customer. Not saying these people would be 100% different to you if you were just a regular con goer but I think the dynamic would be quite different.

>I don't know, I suppose you can say I prefer to play games alone than with friends. But I don't find this a problem, and since I don't see the point in obsessing over it I'm getting kind of tired of discussing it already. Beating this again and again feels like discussing why a straight person is straight or why homo is homo. If it was actually something bothering me then I wouldn't mind it but I genuinely feel good the way I a
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 No.2337[Reply]

Curious how many of you do and don't have diagnoses. I don't have anything diagnosed other than adhd but avpd is strongly expected personally. When young I'd always wait for people to approach me, and now I don't even leave the house unless I have a doctors or psychology appointment.
35 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2495

>>2365
>Don't get a diagnosis unless you feel that you need rehabilitation.
If you're sick you have to get a cure, living in denial is not sane either.

 No.2499

>>2494
This was merely based off of my own personal experience. Once I left the hospital word was spread around about my mental health history, which in turn led to denied job applications and relative social quarantine. It's a long story to say the least. As for testing, it consisted of general IQ-based exams and interviews on my outlook of life. The intelligence tests came back without any noticeable signs of illness, but they v& me to the hospital based on my interview responses. Keep in mind that this was an eighth grader that had already been on Prozac for around five years who spent most of his free time wasting away on online message boards & video gaming. Even though there is a lot of shit going on behind the scenes, I can manage life without causing harm to myself or anyone else. Thus, eliminating the need for any further diagnosis. As for your life, you either need to find the answers to the problems in your life by yourself or with the help of a third party. Browsing imageboards will only hinder your progress as most who post on them are naturally pessimistic, which in turn, will weaken your outlook on life.

TL;DR
both diagnoses in my case lead to increased despair and uncertainty, but don't let that stop you if you feel that you need help

>>2495
Denial of what? Illness? Treatment? Advice?

 No.2590

File: 1484969827328.jpg (22.39 KB, 474x491, 13043236_970706659692956_6….jpg)

Diagnosed with bipolar and psychosis. Have anxiety, but it's more caused by being a shut-in with a people pleasing attitude. My job network suspects I have autism but I can actually talk with people and not act like a massive sperg like actual diagnosed autists I know.

Truth be told, I just think they were trying to diagnose me for monetary gain.
If anything, I feel like my mental illnesses would be better managed if I wasn't bullied and harassed by them.
Otherwise, I'm just going have nights where I cannot sleep properly because of stress and anxiety at dealing with them.
Hallucinations of voices and things that aren't even there. Anyway, mental illness seems to coincide with NEETdom. All I can say is to try keep your mind active, so you don't lose your shit as much.

 No.2591

My grandpa is in his nineties and he's still as sharp as a tack because he spends so much time outside and doing chess puzzles. If you don't use your brain you lose it. Especially if you're old or have messed up circumstances.

 No.2593

>>2591
I've heard learning a second language later in life can help with that too and reduce the chance of dementia/alzeimers. They run in my family, I might want to get started with that



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 No.2562[Reply]

Hey everyone. Loser from 4ch just found this board and would like some advice.

So in the past i've come across discussions to become a payed neetbux and how SSI is the easiest way ala uncle remus advice.

So I lost my job last november and have been having a difficult time getting a stable job. Also, recently, wife had a miscarriage. I think this is the perfect time to slit my wrists and take a trip to the loony bin and get benefits for my severe depression. Any tips or advice?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2564

Honestly, it's actually pretty beneficial to you that your wife had a miscarriage. You don't have an extra mouth to feed and could actually consider yourself lucky. I know that's a pretty harsh thing to say, but babies aren't even self-aware until a few months after being born. Could you imagine if you both lost your job and had to deal with a sleep-depriving, needy baby? Just try not getting divorced because if you do you're fucked financially. If you lost your job because you're a shitty worker than that's your fault, but if you were laid off than god emperor trump has your back. Maybe you should consider going to night school?

 No.2565

File: 1484504858070.jpg (60.21 KB, 1000x655, 1-fox.jpg)

There's some more information I need to make any sort of decision. What sort of job did you have? How long did you work it? How long can you live on your current savings? What education do you have? Do you have any credentials?


Advice I can give to you:

It's never a perfect time to slit your wrists. Please don't hurt yourself if you're going to remain in the world of the living.

Avoid having children in your situation. Just do not have children.

Staying in a mental hospital is ridiculously expensive. I'm not necessarily saying you shouldn't go to one (I've been a few times) but I would strongly caution you against it. I did almost qualify for SSDI at one point based on a diagnosis I had in the past but was narrowly cut out for the amount of money I had saved. Make sure you do your research regarding how to qualify for that if you decide to go that route.

By the way, I'm working on computer coursework at an educational institution and am much happier now than when I was trying to qualify for SSDI. Bear that in mind when you make your decision.

 No.2566

Disability in the US is designed as supplemental income to help offset the cost that someone else has to take up to take care of you. It's also ridiculously hard to get on in the first place, *especially* with mental issues. You're looking at minimal a full year from diagnosis to even get started, with multiple court dates where you have to prove why you need it (ie why you literally cannot achieve gainful employment).

It's really not worth it. Go stock shelves or flip burgers or something while taking free online courses (check your library) to brush up on useful skills that can net you a "real" job. You'll be far happier in the longterm.

 No.2567

>>2566
This is also true.

 No.2569

>>2562
>I think this is the perfect time to slit my wrists and take a trip to the loony bin and get benefits for my severe depression. Any tips or advice?

If you live in a state with shitty mental health services you can end up in a much worse state of mind. Some places treat you like shit unless you have insurance.

I live in an area with decent mental health services, the only help I was able to get was a drug cocktail that just made my symptoms worse and occasional benzos which at least gave me good sleep.

If you think drugs can help you, or if they'll offer some outpatient programs it might help you, be careful Anon.



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 No.2551[Reply]

I feel I may have an addiction to being a NEET.

I used to be employed until I was laid off about 6 weeks ago. I'm currently supported by my parents and live with them as I have no desire to leave home yet. I recently got a temp job but did not last a week before I quit because I just simply did not want to work. I have a decent savings as well as unemployment happening.

I just feel like a defect compared to the rest of society. Aren't I supposed to be out looking for a job? Aren't I supposed to be enjoying or somewhat looking forward to interviews? The only reason I took that temp was because I felt like I had to, when in reality there was no real reason to.

 No.2552

>>2551
Why work when you don't have to? I've been struggling with this as well.
I feel like I've been taught that I'm a waste of life without a job. I'm in education currently and have been having really conflicting feelings as to whether a student should be required to get a job at all.
I'd be all for getting a factory job but here in Australia they're almost non existent.
Working in somewhere like mcdonalds or woolworths seems like i'd be hurting out economy more than helping.

 No.2553

>>2551
Ugh, this whole idea that one <should> have a job, and this fetishism for `productivity' are but a meme pushed by the normalcattle. What is worse is that they drive us into a guilt trip for not adjusting.
I've been confronted recently with the idea that for normalpeople, doing stuff "because they have to" is perfectly acceptable and they'll do it. Further, they push the Man Up™ attitude pretending that enslaving oneself to the bullshit of a money-and-pleasure driven society is a sign of """Maturity""".
As a disclaimer, I am not saying we should just slack and spend all day in vietnamese gambling forums. I do believe that we should do our best and become better versions of ourselves.
But not at the expense of ourselves or our essence, not to be another cog in the wheel, not to just adjust and live a miserable life that has been given to us, and not to buy into lies about what's worthy and what's not.
Feeling like a waste of space just because you don't have a job is a peer-induced guilt trip. I mean, maybe at some point in your life you may need to work to pay your shit, but if you right now have the chance to not give up your time for the sake of others and instead develop in other areas where you think you should, by all means you are to follow the path that suits you best.
Doing something that doesn't feel right is not something you should do. Do something that you *need* to do, that'll give you some sense of progress, rather than just following the herd because they say it's The Thing to Do™.
Or, as some would say…
Think for yourself, schmuck!

 No.2554

>>2551
I would say look into potential jobs that you would actually enjoy, especially considering that unemployement isn't forever.

Also, look at your current lifestyle and decide how much or how little money you'd need to maintain. You'd be surprised how cheap you can be and if possible make investments that will reduce your dependance on companies/stores/etc. Like buying chickens and similar shit.

Doing all of this, if you do need some extra cash, then at least you'd just need a simple part time job.

And to be completely blunt with you, success in society is different for everyone. If you can live a life where you don't waste the majority of your time in a job you don't enjoy, then you've succeeded in a way a lot of people can only dream of.

 No.2555

>>2553
This.

Forcing yourself into something is living a false life; even if its productivity. Even if you think the facade works, others will either see through it or get a false impression of you. It'll push at you day by day; pushing you into a sort of isolation where no one can really relate to you because instead of trying to relate or genuinely communicate, you're faking it using whatever implications are thrown your way. You will be productive and an emotional wreck.

For the moment feel no guilt like the "normies" (really, it's just nosey irrelevant people) would want you to. Don't force yourself to suffer. Enjoy yourself as much as possible but, also prepare yourself. Count the days to your "normalcy" so it won't take you by surprise. it hits like a hammer in the dark and, it hits everyone once. These precious days are yours; you'll look back at the simple stupid shit from them with a weird fondness later.


TLDR; Enjoy yourself when you aren't working, suffer for that day where you'll enjoy yourself again.

 No.2560

Go to therapy and stop being a leech if not for yourself, for your parents. Ever one has problems and can be considered a, "defect", the difference is that they don't let it get to them. Addiction usually is dependent on loneliness. See your friends or try to make some real ones if you don't have any. You don't have to think about any hamfisted philosophy on the merits of productivity. Just get a job and do it so you can get money and food. That's how society works. Before society existed people had no time for anything except basic survival. The hard work of people is why any amount of comfort is allowed in our cruel reality. Don't be selfish. If you don't use your brain it rots away and you become an empty, worthless husk. Stop it right now. Try and do something you like. It's been scientifically proven that doing something with yourself makes you feel good. If you felt good you wouldn't have made this thread.



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 No.2393[Reply]

I'm so fucking bored.
Anime doesn't interest me anymore.
Video games don't interest me anymore.
I'm even getting bored of pornography.

99.99% of the time whenever I'm out with people which is rare enough I just want to go home because I'm bored off my tits regardless of what we're doing.

It's not like I have too much free time either because I do have a job. When I was NEET I loved anime and I didn't get completely bored of a video game after a few days.

Nothing makes me happy what the hell do I do?
39 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2504

What helps me more than anything is to wake up at 8 AM and to immediately shower, get dressed, and leave my apartment. I walk fifteen minutes to a local coffee shop and get an iced coffee and bagel sandwich and relax reading a book for an hour. Then I walk back to my apartment and immediately start doing programming exercises and research along those lines. Then I work on violin for a few hours. This takes me to around 4 PM, at which point the brain fog is back, and then I walk to the store to buy some beer and drink myself into a stupour watching films, writing, and browsing the Internet until around 10 PM. All in all, I get six hours of productivity working on the two subjects I am trying to improve myself in.

Honestly, what helps the most is to just leave the house for a short time as soon as you wake up. Being a NEET or a hikki makes you extremely subject to anhedonia, and the longer you stay indoors, the worse off you become. I got to the point where I was lying in bed all day drifting between sleep and staring at the wall, incapable of even reading imageboards. I quite literally had no thoughts in my head. I couldn't even form sentences. I lived like that for three years. And after about a year's progress, I still struggle with brain fog and get frustrated by my sheer lack of ability in contrast to what I achieved before I deteriorated into, but I can get out of bed, and I can work my brain a little bit, and I'm actually starting to become a person again.

I'm not sure how relatable any of this is to the people browsing, because I definitely would not have been able to read or write this when I was in my worst state. But I always see people saying 'just learn a language,' etc., when if you're experiencing anything like what I described, it is quite literally impossible to just jump into doing something like that. You have to start out with simpler things, like just going outside to buy a cup of coffee, or walking in a park for an hour, or watching a whole film, or finishing an entire article on a website and making sure you absolutely comprehend it, or just writing a coherent post on an imageboard even if it takes you two hours to write a full paragraph.

 No.2505

>>2504
Very relatable. Lived as a NEET and total recluse for 2/3 years of my life. Room was a disaster (there were strands of my uncut hair everywhere as well as miscellaneous paperwork and a disassembled desk on the floor and I left only to use the bathroom and eat. Spent massive amounts of time browsing the web, playing videogames, and just doing absolutely nothing.

Next month I will start work as a computer programmer on payroll.

 No.2528

>>2393
Try some anti-depressants or just start using recreational drugs.

 No.2529

>>2528
>im bored
>get drugs lol

 No.2530

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>>2504
relatable and a great write up. getting into a productive routine without any sort of dayjob or structure is pretty difficult. I use timeboxing and Google Calendar's Goals function to help me achieve self study goals but it took some time before I figured out what works for me. Timeboxing was such a boon though, it enabled an monkey with an attention deficit (me) to be focused for 25 mins straight, then take a break for 5 mins, then focus again rinse and repeat.



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