/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>9299
have you been on medication? if it's that bad there's not much else that helps.

>>9303
you can get medication for paranoia?

>Every single car is someone who is gonna stop, get out, and attack me or kidnap me or something

Not to that level, but I have that feeling of being watched by the drivers inside almost everytime a vehicle passed near me too. I know is dumb to feel like that when those people are way more busy with their own shit rather than paying attention to some stranger, but damn it.

>>9306
sure, though it depends on how convinced you are of your delusions. if you absolutely "know" it and feel compelled to act on it, it's psychosis; if you logically know it's not true but it strongly tugs on you and get really bad anxiety like you described in the OP, it's probably some panic disorder.
but who am i to say, go talk to a shrink. it's worth a try.

>>9308
It's comforting to know I'm not alone on that, I hate how overly aware of my surroundings I am, I wanna have some level of normalcy when I do manage to claw my way out of my house.

>>9309
I'll look into therapy, cause I am certainly far from being convinced most days. Admittedly, I have tried it before to no avail, I've also tried opening up to the friends I do have but it usually blows up in my face. Maybe I'm going about all that wrong?

I will say though, It sometimes feels like I'm teetering on the edge of something awful. As if I'm one terrible day from not being able to tell real from fake, There has been moments. I don't like the ways I act and the things I say when those moments come about. It's like someone else is in the driver seat, Or maybe better described like I'm grabbing the wheel from the passenger seat? It's difficult to put to words.

For many years I've felt like I one day just woke up in my current life, like everything that came before was someone else's doing, all the memories and thoughts and feelings - Like they belong to someone else. It may sound anecdotal but it feels relevant to all this. Maybe its an attempt at gaining control again? Maybe my paranoia is a manifestation of guilt. I'm not sure, I appreciate the replys anons

>>9315
OP here, they prescribed me anti-psychotics. Apparently I might have Schizophrenia, Fun!

>>9336
have you applied for neetbux?

>>9337
at this point i probably should, i was hoping id become normal enough to just get a job like everyone else in my life

>>9342
You can be a functioning schizo, but also be careful with antispychs. Therapy, meditation, and trying to take care of yourself is probably more healthy overall. They may provide short to moderate term relief but over the long term antipsychotics tend to cause brain damage through grey matter loss.
Having a supportive community also goes miles, schizos in other cultures don't always have malevolent and or paranoid delusions. In america it often manifests as delusions related to God but in many eastern cultures schizophrenia is treated as a spiritual phenomena and the people experiencing it don't report the same negative outcomes as they do in the west, instead often experiencing positive voices in their head.
https://psychrights.org/Research/Digest/NLPs/The-Case-Against-AntipsychoticsWhitaker2016.pdf

I say all this because my own father has schizophrenia and although the medication does work in preventing many of his hallucinations and paranoid thoughts, it has also completely blunted his affect and ruined his ability to think at all really. He just sits around watching TV all day getting viruses on his computer while entering an endless stream of contests. It's no way to live.
I also personally was put on an antipsychotic as a teenager due to "behavioral issues" in school when I don't even have any psychotic symptoms, I'm just cursed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. It really made me feel aweful and messed up my ability to think for years, made me obese, and removed joy from my life. It took many years to recover from the experience.

>>9343
Echoing this. I'm a functional recovered NEET schizo who has a real life office job and that never would have happened if I was on meds. It's hard as fuck don't get me wrong but at least I can actually think and function sometimes instead of none of the time.

>>9343
>>9344
Oh wow! I had never heard of any of this, Honestly reading this was a little scary. I'm gonna talk to my doctor and see cause I really don't wanna fuck up my brain long term. ESP since I personally don't think I am schizophrenic, My theory is that its just PTSD or something

>>9345
I don't mean to add to the stress with the big scary post. Sorry anon, I just don't want anyone going through what I've been through and I should have taken more care to write in a less intimidating way. I wish you all the luck in the world!
One last little tidbit, psychologists and therapists tend to do a way better job than psychiatrists, it is possible to find a good doctor. Just keep your wits about you and make sure they are giving you holistic care instead of just ticking off checkboxes and quickly drawing a conclusion.

>>9347
I appreciate the advice a lot! I really do!

I'm just so conflicted because so far I have felt amazing on these meds, even though im pretty sure its just a trial run. I might need some adjustment but man life just feels easier with these… I'm still not totally convinced of the current "theory" around what the issue is, and honestly I'm pretty new to all this. For ages I didn't know the difference between a psychiatrist and a therapist. I honestly don't even know what a "Psychologist" is and what the meaningful difference is.

I could really use all the advice and stories I can get right now. I really just don't wanna be burdened by this stupid brain stuff my whole life.

>>9349
Since you feel good than I wouldn't worry too hard about it right now, in the short-to-medium term nothing super bad can happen anyways, and you might be on something that doesn't have major adverse long term effects. If somethings working that could be a good thing.

I can talk more in depth about my experience taking an antispyche for 2 years if you want to know, but in short I had negative experiences within weeks, that only got worse overtime. This is in contrast to you having good experiences so far!

If I were you I would search online to see what long term studies say about the drugs your taking, even just checking the wikipedia page can be helpful for getting an idea. Not all drugs are dangerous, antipsyches as a rule tend to have a higher risk profile though which alongside my personal experiences, is why I made my original comment.

To try to answer your other question, psychiatry is focused around the chemistry of the mind and mental health conditions. Psychiatrists seek to solve mental health conditions with chemical solutions, medication.

Psychology is the study of the human mind and all the nuanced aspects of it, a chemical understanding can still be used, but it won't be the whole picture for a psychologist.

For example, if a patient were highly depressed due to having an abusive parent. A psychiatrist would just give them an antidepressent and call it a day, because their whole understanding of the condition is confined to the patients brain chemistry. In contrast a good psychologist would try to help the patient build the state of mind needed to get away from the abusive relationship, help them process what happened through therapy, and then only recommend medication if therapy wasn't working or if the patients condition were so distressed that therapy wasn't possible at the moment.

Clinical therapists tend to fill both roles in a clinical setting and can lean more in one direction or another depending on the needs of the patient and or the therapists training and their practices methodology. It's a challenge finding a good one, but if you do they can be very helpful.

>>9354
I'd love to hear more of your story.

As for me, I am so conflicted about this medication because pretty much all my paranoia has gone away, the visual stuff I've been calling Hallucinations has also been completely absent, I feel very grounded in reality overall! Although I have been getting a lot of brain fog, and what feels like a constant passive headache, and some other random bullshit. I'm not sure how I feel about that trade off, the brain fog kinda sucks but not being crazy paranoid all the damn time is kinda huge. Weirdest part is that its been easier for me to focus? but I also feel like I've become stupider at the same time?? like I'm less aware of my intelligence? its so hard to describe

On the note of doctors and shit, I really don't know what I need clinically. If I need a therapist, if I need to see a psychologist, if a psychiatrist is the right call… It gets my head so spun up man.

I really do wonder if I was struggling with some sort of Schizo-disorder type thing my whole life without realizing this whole time, or maybe I developed it at some point? Or maybe I'm just bipolar or something? I don't know how this works, I will keep this thread updated if you anons care though.

OP here again, The side effects on the meds I was taking got super severe and I ended up having a bit of a meltdown, I must've gotten sick or something but I had one of the worst nights in recent memory. I totally broke down, Got wrapped up in genuinely insane delusions, yelled at a friend a bunch, my whole body felt cold, it was proper FUCKED. I decided to give it a couple days but recovering from that sickness at the same time as the side effects getting worse combo'd me into oblivion so I purposefully missed my dose yesterday, as I write this I'm experiencing withdrawals.

I called my doctor and they swapped it for a different medication, I'm hoping for the best on this new one, The last one tackled the problem at hand but fuck man those side effects were intense. The brain fog alone was crippling especially near the end, Going cold turkey felt like "Waking up" mentally in the strangest way.

I got some benny for the withdrawals and I'm gonna start the new med as soon as I hear back from the doc, maybe this time it'll fix me.

>>9375
wow this is just like the underground cult classic indie game yume nikki from 2004 produced by kikiyama now available to play on steam

>>9375
Hey oh, I'm
>>9354
>>9347
>>9343
When I have the energy I'll write more to you here soon. Good luck and wishing you well, sorry you're having such a rough time.