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File: 1625602419632.jpg (166.02 KB, 1196x800, FLCL-Progressive-1196x800.jpg)

 No.6627

I missed out on everything as a kid. I was always left alone by my peers which fucked me up of any social skills in the long run. I still have trouble holding a conversation. Have you guys had any trouble as a kid? This extreme isolation happened from 3rd to 8th grade which was enough to cripple me possibly my whole life. Or what is left of it anyway. Nearly 6 years of my life consisted of going home from school and back. Every day. Never talk with anyone, not even with family. Just me and my thoughts from a young age

I don't want to be like those other anons who just vent out shit here, so I'll ask the question, have you guys went through something similar that had a damaging effect on you? I still feel bits of loneliness from it.

pic unrelated FLCL just makes me feel like shit

 No.6628

I'm honestly scared making this thread. I am not a lurker but it's still anxiety filling thinking I may bring up some unpleasant memories to some anons. Maybe it's the coffee. Mods please delete if you know best and sorry

 No.6629

File: 1625615840194.png (61.71 KB, 1250x1800, 10.png)

>>6628
i wouldn't be sorry anon. we're all friends here, even if we'll all call you a fag.

my life was pretty much the same from being a kid to when i left school, and even when i was still able to work i didn't talk to my coworkers unless i absolutely had to. i don't think anyone can be in that kind of state of isolation and not develop some weird ways of thinking and fucked up, recursive logic for the way the world works. i think it's damaging in more ways than just being starved of contact, because you'll inevitably end up justifying your isolation in some way, by blaming others or yourself in the most toxic of ways.

the only real human interaction i had (and still have tbh) was with randos online, but that could never really fill the void for me. do you use imageboards a lot, or interact in forums or irc's at all? i always find it so empty, even moreso than my few interactions with my family, though i guess it's good that i talk to them sometimes nowadays, at least…

for me, i wonder if my early categorisation as being an asocial nerd who liked walking through the backend of nowhere was just early symptoms of extreme social anxiety. when you're a kid, it's harder to understand what the fuck is wrong with you, and for others to do the same. and like you say, it kinda fucked me up forever as well. i not only didn't get to develop normal skills like holding conversations or looking people in the eye, but i ended up not noticing what was actually going on until i was too alone, too poor, and seemingly unable to fix it.

 No.6630

Exact same experience. It was pretty much voluntary though.

 No.6631

File: 1625655854693.png (26.77 KB, 640x640, YY~640.png)

Similar story for early life. Only ever had friends on 1st grade and we never talked (we just gathered sticks together outside). After 1st grade I was left alone, but I didn't mind it. It was nice to just think alone all-day. It was like this for the rest of my school years. surprisingly I was never bullied for it.
As for this isolation having a damaging effect? Surely yes. I try to avoid places and times of day where I would have to meet people. If someone asks me anything usually my response is just one word and I get called absent-minded for this, but guess I am. Hehe.
Life is currently pleasant overall and i don't mind my past or present.

 No.6632

File: 1625668545614.jpg (101.03 KB, 456x344, IMG_20210707_123204.jpg)

(op here. Dashchan)
>>6629

>do you use imageboards a lot, or interact in forums or irc's at all?

> i always find it so empty

I agree. It never feels like I'm part of something. It doesn't matter if I've been in a group for a year and half. It doesn't matter if everyone knows me as another one of them, sees me as an individual. I will always feel empty and lonely. I have a habit of deleting socials and making new accounts as a "new beginning". It doesn't matter if its something I did or just out of nowhere. It always happens eventually and I end up at square one.

 No.6635

File: 1625794936889.jpg (177.33 KB, 2048x1724, E1CLZj4VIAInSeG.jpg)

>>6631
>Life is currently pleasant overall and i don't mind my past or present.
not a bad state to be in at all tbh. there's something peak-comfy about just riding the wave of whatever state you've ended up in.

>>6632
>It doesn't matter if everyone knows me as another one of them, sees me as an individual. I will always feel empty and lonely.

fuck, i relate to that. ever wonder if you're just stupid and haven't found the "right" group to be in yet? it's true for some people, but sadly i think other people are just made to be alone even if they hate it.

>I have a habit of deleting socials and making new accounts as a "new beginning".


i was in that kind of loop for years, and only gave it up because i ran out of motivation to make more throwaway emails for it. it's kind of weird to remember people's names but not have a single person who could recognise me by my online aliases anymore. i hope you get out of it and find an actual place to belong.

 No.6636

File: 1625863579573.jpg (29.46 KB, 404x600, Madotsuki.600.2797137.jpg)

>>6635
>ever wonder if you're just stupid and haven't found the "right" group to be in yet?

Always. I was really scared of this when I was in late high school (11th to 12th grade) it suddenly hit me like a train that I either find a group right now or spend my life possibly by myself all alone, but no matter how hard I tried to fit in with other people I just couldn't. The closest I went to being a functional social person was when I joined this random Turkish guys Discord server, and I actually started to use Discord a lot because of it, though I also saw the friend group crumble around me too. Even if I was really well known and loved by all members I still felt extremely lonely and it hurt a lot. It hurts a bit writing this too

>>6631
Kinda similar background I think(?) I was a very social kid in 1st and 2nd grade, when I went to a different school in 3rd grade I was always left alone by others. The only times my middle school "friends" "hanged out" with me was in 8th grade, when I told the school counsellor about my suicidal tendencies. Figured easily she told them to hang out with me, since she couldn't really bother considering she tried to ship me off to CPS as soon as she could.

I do not trust theraphy because of her. My dad made fun of me for a whole year because of her. I will and do base me not getting help solely on her and I do not care.

>>6629
>do you use imageboards a lot, or interact in forums or irc's at all?
I know I answered to this in 6632, but I'd like to add more)

I started to use 4chan back in 8th grade, I really liked the anonymity it gave me. If i posted anything in Facebook or whatever my peers would find ways to berate me with them, I really liked that I could take on anon identities in 4chan and other forums. Going into high school I kinda figured I didn't agree with the same things as the people of 4chan talk about, so I searched for other boards, lainchan etc etc… and ended up here. Uboachan is really nice. Some people in high school thought I was really cool for a while (because I used imageboards lol) but that didn't last long and they moved on.


This was probably the longest post I've ever made my whole life. Definitely has some errors. sorry in advance

 No.6651

File: 1626714013482.jpg (93.52 KB, 811x1200, a8n1lirh3t341.jpg)

>>6636
>I really liked that I could take on anon identities in 4chan and other forums

yeah, same. i think this is why i keep coming back to imageboards, despite wanting "actual" friends i can talk to on a more personal level. for some reason the anonymity is much more comfortable for me than having any kind of name to my posts. i often change which boards i use and my typing styles to make myself even less identifiable from day to day.



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