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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Our hosting package has been downgraded to save on unused resources. Hosting should cost $23 per month from now on, instead of $43 per month.

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(The old thread was unstickied because it got bogged down with dead links and is difficult to navigate.)

New Rule: One post per service please! Duplicate ads may be deleted. This especially includes discord links. To make a permanent discord link, click on instant invite, go to advanced settings, and change the expire time to never.

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Old thread (bumplocked): >>3
94 posts and 44 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


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Discord for wizards and apprentices: https://discord.gg/FNvAAHX

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Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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My mental state has been declining again. I was feeling alright for awhile but now there is just so much I need to worry about every day is filled with anxiety and I don't know how I can keep going like this. Recently I cant even bring myself to enjoy the things i'm passionate about, I just spend my free time under a blanket listening to music and browsing the internet doing nothing productive. As soon as I get home I am so exhausted that I fall asleep so I cant sleep at night. I don't want to live like this, I don't feel like doing anything.
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doing while everyone is asleep won't help… we have little apartment and my mum has extremely good hearing. even if i go to the toilet at night or drink water on kitchen she instantly wakes up and going to me. doing anything in my room at night also isn't a good option because i share it with my younger sister. but thanks for the advise anyway, anon!
my door doesn't have a lock and everyone often transpassing my room to go on a balcony. but you're right. i think i can overcame anxiety of jogging in public. and maybe i could do some sit-ups as well at day because it's rather quiet and quick. and stretching…

now it's time to work on myself! thank you all for advises and motivation


Get a pretense to go outside, e.g go shopping. Walking or just being physically active (commuting) does plenty of good for the mind.


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i know… thank you i've been thinking about something like this


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Thanks for the suggestions anons, I will try my best to get a reason to want to wake up every day and hopefully break my habit of taking naps as soon as I get home so I can sleep better. I dont think I could ever get into any rigorous exercise but I think I could handle getting out and walking around a lot more, night walks have always been something ive thought about, maybe ill give that a shot when the weather starts to cool down.


I think nearly everyone has this anxiety when they first start out exercising, but after a while you realize that nobody seriously cares what your routine is or even that you're trying to better yourself. People in general are more concerned with their own health than yours, trust me.

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Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no fuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I never really had some moment where I ruined everything. My life has been just kind of disappointing and mediocre. I think a lot of it has to do with my shitty upbringing: abuse, violence, deaths in my family, negligence, bullying, mentally ill family members, people in my life having substance abuse problems and encouraging me to join them and get drunk/high starting when I was young, etc.

Considering the cards I was dealt, I think I'm doing pretty well. If you compare me to someone who had a more well-adjusted upbringing, I probably seem low-functioning though.

Most people think I'm weird and quiet but they don't know what I've been through.


Can't say things were ever "fine" (or even promising on the first place, if I'm being honest) but everything got a lot fucked when a close family member got into a car accident and I had to start taking care of them instead of keeping up with college.
And while it's been 4 years since I dropped out because of that, I still haven't been able to bring myself to actually study something once more. Not for lack of trying but because I'm an idiot, mostly.
on a completely unrelated and unimportant note, would you believe me if I said we share a birthday?


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OP here, thank you all for your replies!

About school, you are indeed right, it's mostly my fault. However, when I say it's too late to start afresh, I mean it. In this place, above a certain age, if you want to start another vocational/college/university course (or even just drop the one you're doing, and change to something else), you have to pay absurdly high amount of fees (could be up to 10 times you'd normally pay below that certain age). This is the government's idea on "lifelong learning" that they advertise all the time, I guess…

About people: I cannot find happiness in material things. I cannot find happiness in doing something productive. I can only be happy if I have somebody in my life I can live for. And I don't mean "friends". I have many, and if I really wanted to spend my birthday with someone, I could go out with them. But I don't, as getting drunk and/or going to clubs won't make me happy (nor forget what just happened), and the least I want to hear is them either asking me about "how things are going with that girl", or just inevitably mentioning what they were doing yesterday or were they've been last week with their girlfriends/significant others. Not to hurt me, but because it comes natural to them. As they are happy. They have that special someone I cannot have.

I'm really fucked up. I am tough, I am quite resistant to physical pain and demand. (In fact, IRL most of you would think that I'm that stereotypical arrogant POS "jock" from any stereotypical North American high school, and would avoid me like plague.) But that is just the surface, and in reality, I just can't deal with being lonely.

>Don't delete this after you have a change of heart or something.

No way! I hate drama. Whatever I say or do, I taker responsibility for it. I asked for honest opinions, and you gave me your honest opinion. And I really appreciate that.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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>I can only be happy if I have somebody in my life I can live for.
There is somebody like that already: YOURSELF
What do you like to do, not to be productive, but just because you like it? Do you have hobbies? Passions? Seems to me like you've spent too much of your life trying to appease other people, get their attention and favor. If you spent more time in your own company, you might have had introspection deep enough to avoid this in the first place. Maybe that's just the cultural expectation in your country, but it's a shame. The less dependent you are on others, the better.
>Not to hurt me, but because it comes natural to them.
It comes natural to them because their whole lives revolve around it. They can't talk about anything else. They certainly can't muster the contentiousness to think about how you're feeling before saying something.
If it really comes down to it, you might want to consider moving to a place with cheaper education. Either you stay were you are and live a life of mediocrity, or use your youth while you still have it. Best of luck.


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>There is somebody like that already: YOURSELF

I cannot wait for myself at home after a long day. I cannot go out with myself for a dinner, or to see a movie, or just to have fun. I can't show affection to myself. I can't hold myself. I can't kiss myself.

>Seems to me like you've spent too much of your life trying to appease other people, get their attention and favor.

Strangely enough, no. I never really used to care much about what others think about me, and I could care even less for norms and expectations, apart from really elementary things, of course. I always held the "go with the flow but stay at the helm" philosophy.

>Do you have hobbies?

I certainly do. Anime, for example. Guess who was the last person I watched something with. I also play the piano. Guess who was the last person I played for. And so on, and so on. Everything is a painful reminder.

>It comes natural to them because their whole lives revolve around it.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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hey, /hikki/.
I've been a NEET for 4 years now. I can barely stay awake anymore. I sleep for 8-9 hours and drink a fuckton of coffee and sodas and yet I still feel sleepy and sluggish. I even tried "home exercises" but that only succeeded in making my legs feel like chewed-up gum.
Do you guys have this issue, too? It only started last year.


The saying, "every hour before midnight is worth twice as much", is really important. Even if you slept the recommended amount, if go to bed late, you wont be healthy. at least that's what I've noticed. Exercising is just part of the equation. It's necessary, but it's actually harmful if you don't do other things. A good diet and a proper sleep schedule are also needed. The human body is extremely demanding unfortunately. The best change you can make is to cut down on carbs and sweets. Every time you want something sweet, eat a fruit. Even if you don't like it, you don't actually have a choice unless you want your body to sputter out and be useless to you. Coffee doesn't help in the long-term; stop drinking it and go cold turkey.


I understand what you're going through. Sleeping and resting are two different things. Sometimes you could sleep for 14 hours and wake up even more drained than you were before. And sometimes you sleep only 3 or so hours, and wake up totally refreshed.

This is purely psychological, and has nothing to do with being physically tired. You could exercise as much as you want, you could do the most physically demanding activities all day, in itself it's not going to force you to rest.

I, too, would drop sodas/energy drinks. They would only make things worse than they are already. Coffee, while is quite useless on people with this problem for some reason, is at least not as destructive as the aforementioned drinks.

And while I agree with >>5110 about carbs and sweets, I certainly believe that diet has nothing to do with this.

I believe what would really help is to somehow try to be at peace with your mind, even if just momentarily so. I know it's difficult. And look who's talking, I pretty much fell into the same situation, though I can't even sleep more than 4 hours on a good day, let alone have any rest. But give it a try, if you could let your feelings go before bedtime, only if for a day or two per week, you could get some rest.


Ah, shit. Must be why 1-8 is still draining. Explains a lot. Thanks! Also, shit. I'm gonna have to quit coffee, huh? Eh, if it helps.

Shit, hope you're better.
Anyways, I guess I'm gonna stop drinking sweet shit anyways, cause you both are pretty correct. And yeah, 4 hour sleep sched? I went through that, too.
I'll try to ease up at night, stop thinking 'bout school stuff. You're also right, I don't rest, ust sleep. Might just try unwinding.

Thanks, you two!

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I'm going back to school in a few weeks after having been shut in my room for probably 5 years. I dropped out of high school a while back, and even before then my parents took me out of elementary school in favor of homeschooling, since then I've had trouble and barely kept up. I've taken online classes for most of it, but I'm being encouraged to go out and actually attend classes, most because I do want more opportunities out of the house, and my computer is busted.

I'll be taking a high school equivalency thing first before actual college, but the thing is, I have no idea what to expect. I haven't interacted with anyone my own age in real life since I started being homeschooled, so I have no social skills. Additionally, I lack confidence in my own skills and have always struggled. I slacked off a lot and now I'm so behind. I've been trying to study but I don't have experience with a lot of this. Nobody is really helping me, and I can't help but think that, since this is just high school, college will be harder and leave me more drained and depressed than ever before.

No one has even told me what to expect. It's like they just keep dancing around the issue whenever I ask how bad it will be, which isn't helping my anxiety. And I keep stressing out over how much this'll cut into my time and what to do with my life, and hours and weeks and homework and getting high grades. I don't want to just waste any of my time here, but I guess I have to do this if I want to be a functioning member of society and get money. But I just wish someone would help me.

Is it really as bad as I'm thinking? If So, how do I hold out these next few years wasting my life on things I won't ever need to really know without breaking down and killing myself?


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First you should establish some goals outside of, "become a functioning member of society". While, yes, that's what the point is supposed to be, you'll have an easier time going forward if you get more specific. What do you actually like and how do you translate that into emplyomen?
When it comes to school work itself, self-study is king. Whatever you learn in class is just supplementary. You don't get shit out of it unless you spend your own time going through the material. Study by reading the textbook and taking your own notes. Don't skim, absorb. Then go over your notes regularly and try to find a way of applying what you learned to stuff like practice problems and tests.
When it comes to root memorization, I liked to just take a piece a paper and write what I needed to memorize over and over again until I got it. Do this regularly and you'll commit that information to your long term memory. You should be spending a lot of your time at your desk. You need a designated work space. Getting a hobby like reading or something can help keep you from being overwhelmed, just make sure you cut down on your screen time as much as possible. I'm not fucking around. If you really have to, ask your parents to make sure you don't spend more time browsing than studying. Keep that in mind.
When it coms to socialization, don't sweat it. As long as you can do group work and get what you need out of other people without pissing them off you should be fine. Good luck.


I am socially inept so I cant help you there but from my experience in college, time management was the biggest factor for me. Make sure you set aside enough time to get all of your work done. Start out by setting aside a few hours and see how that goes, eventually you can get into a groove and figure out how much time is necessary. when you can accurately manage your time to make sure you don't miss out on any work then you can worry about time for yourself, which is also very important. I don't think I would've made it through if I never had time to myself to keep myself sane.

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post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
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Thanks for worry, but personally i'd never spend money on f2p games. I play some LoL and osu!mania / Stepmania as of now (mostly osu). I would love to play more horror games through, this year i played Outlast series and it was fucking amazing, especially Outlast 2(pure gold). Also I'm still worried about the ward becouse doctors can tell my family about my problems while i'm there. From what I read online at least, they could not ask you about your premission to talk with your family. (i know it's from online source, but seems resonable they could not ask me about premission)


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That would certainly explain why I missed it by a mile off. I posted this >>4309 then freaked out with shame and didn't return to Uboa until now. Might as well vent.

I still honestly think I should work, and that working when I'm well enough to would keep anxiety/depression at bay, however I've since learnt the only way to be rid of those is surgery that would put me at risk of complications and require going back on regular medication to keep my bones from snapping. I've also found out that there is no teaching my body to regulate its temperature properly - both the symptoms of my illness and the symptoms caused by drugs and the operation include sweating buckets when I'm cold. I wasn't able to take anti-depressants this whole time because they increase sweating as a common side effect, and I already faint more easily from dehydration.

Looking forward to another summer of hiding indoors and wearing the same four shirts that don't show marks as much over and over until the washing machine destroys them. My hands have gone like ice just typing this, for what purpose, body? The good news is my local doctors' shut down after the authorities refused to renew contracts with them, and I'm now registered with somewhere different that I've never been to before. Worryingly they never contacted to confirm my registration or do preliminary check ups and I had to go in myself to ask (but was too stupid to make an appointment). Until I see someone and find out that all doctors are the same I'll have hope that maybe this time I'll be listened to and referred to the correct specialist instead of one who sends you for 40 bloodtests to confirm it's really not anything else but the thing you've been complaining about for 18 years. There is even a bloodtest I could have had to identify it but the guy specialising in that area never had it done because let's check the motherfucking bloodcount for the nineteenth time. I am still hung up on that even though it happened in my teens, my daily life now is just idling on a dying computer as the money dwindles, but I guess the only stress is knowing I'm slowly headed to self destruction. It's much better than being insulted to my face by a healthcare professional, as they are wont to do, and I've been extremely fortunate to receive moPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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I don't know if I'm sick yet or what but god my chest has been hurting like fuck lately. Haven't been eating anything bad


I'm rooting for you anon. Don't give up.


Welp I overdid it this summer because of my excitement at getting better so now i'm back to how I was 6 months ago. At least I know I can improve now though, just have to pace myself with is what the doctor has been trying to drill into me this whole time. I get very excited doing anything new so it's fucking hard though.

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Post things you've made or things you are proud of. Creating things can feel nice when you have been alone and devoid of accomplishment.


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OP here, Ill start. I have made a pong clone with Reimu and Cirno from Touhou, it also has health bars instead of just a score. Originally I planned to add more characters to be selectable but I never really got around to that, maybe ill come back to it one day.


post it


I guess I can. Id like to clean some of it up a bit and add a disclaimer, since it was just a personal project. but I can probably put it up somewhere tomorrow.


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i made a tripcode generator for another chan i use, pic related are some tripcodes it generated with the word neet in them


Use Meriken's.

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Does anyone care to start a trivial relationship with a stranger online?
I want to improve my social skills to make increase my odds of survival out there.
I apologize for this post if it is not allowed, or it is looked negatively, to ask for contact information.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.


I apologize for the ignorance, but I don't really know where you put your email.


Mouse over his name, and it should appear in your link bar.


Right click the part of my post that says anonymous and copy.


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Feel free to hit me up, I'm always up for a chat


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Three times I have tried this "fast paced" online dating stuff and three times I have met actually insane individuals. Maybe you are different. Or not.

Anyway, making friends is great so hit me up.

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Hi all

I'm former "NEET", was "NEET" for 2 years in mother's house. I am going to university now. Recently, I'm computer programmer intern several times. None of my programmer jobs pay enough to survive, however, and I have difficult time succeeding socially.

I still feel like I am "NEET" and "NEET" people are the only ones I relate to, what to do?


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Practice small conversations with mirrors, imitate patterns, body language, and interactions you see come from people. Failure is natural at least once but attempt to learn from it, understand that you will fail and will stumble on the march. Practicing with a close friend (or a remote person you do not mind) is a great benefit and boon.
It takes a long time to feel natural at socialization, there will be quips around it, but as you continue to get used to it you can always adapt to the best.
The routine normalizes everything, even if you are afraid, even if it was not productive at first. Ultimately, as this becomes a comfortable zone, your feelings of being socially insufficient, or "NEET" will disappear over time.
In the context of your work, in the meantime, you can try to develop skills that you can later incorporate into your resume so that you can look better off after graduation. You should not try to support yourself when going to college because of the exorbitant cost. Unless you have a large loan or student allowance, please stay with your mother or divide costs with a roommate while you are enrolled in university.
Good luck, OP.

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