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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1454626044524.jpg (18.8 KB, 704x400, Satou.jpg)

 No.172[Reply]

Seeing as absolutely everyone misread the /hikki/ rules sticky and used it to draw apocalyptic conclusions about the death of all that was good about /n/, here's a less flippant sticky with less room for ambiguity, in the form of a Q&A. We've also made some concessions based on your feedback in thread >>13, which was moved to /sugg/ for being meta.

What is allowed on this board? What is its purpose?
On this board you can discuss and request or give advice regarding NEETism, Hikikomoriism, anxieties and social or mental issues arising from these conditions of living, and things closely related to these topics. If you're content with being a NEET at this stage in your life, that's ok, and you won't get in trouble for saying so. The board's primary focus is self-help and advice regarding these issues, and particularly help in escaping the NEET lifestyle, but this focus is not exclusive. Despite rumors, threads looking for help with suicidal feelings or drug addition are also allowed.

What is not allowed on this board?
* Encouraging others to become NEET.
* Attacking or discouraging others for being NEET.
* Giving or requesting advice on how to enter the NEET lifestyle.
* Encouraging or showcasing drug usage.
* Announcing your planned suicide. Call a hotline or something just don't do it here or it becomes my legal responsibility.
* Helping others to plan or commit suicide.
* Topics not related to the purpose of the board. Such topics will be moved.
* Intentionally breaking these rules or the global rules will still result in a warning or ban.
* Rule 6 is enforced more liberally on /hikki/. Users may be banned from /hikki/ for inflammatory remarks in cases which might not result in a ban on other boards.
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 No.5517

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 No.254[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

How old are you?

ADMIN NOTE: This discussion is OK again since the change to Rule #1.
162 posts and 53 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5510

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>>5475
Based.
30 year old whose mentally 8 reporting in.

 No.5512

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29 but I feel older and have for years been told that I look and act older and not in a flattering way either.

 No.5525

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Turning 21 next month. I've been hikkineet for almost two and a half years, I think I need to get a job soon but my social anxiety is debilitating.

 No.5526

25 now, I've been bordering hikki for a while but have been in education most of the time to some degree. Weirdly finding these hikki threads recently has helped my mindset towards it all, instead of having this terrible guilt and shame all the time I can now put a name on it and have been dealing with it a little better for now at least

 No.5529

I turned 18 this February



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 No.3313[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?

I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.

Being very thin has hurt my self confidence. Also, the only physical activities I like to do are walking and biking, I think this might also make me thin.

Also, this thread can be about general physical help too.
25 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4327

File: 1516292096631.jpg (Spoiler Image, 160.12 KB, 1200x1041, lowres.jpg)

I'm not sure if you can call it an ED but my doctor referred to it as such.

I have an incredible dislike of food (and eating too).
I hate the feeling of food on my tongue, I don't like taste either. I'm fine with crunchy stuff that barely tastes like anything, bread and fruits, vegetables and stuff, which sucks cause in Winter there are only disgusting fruits available from southern countries.
I can't stomach soup or any watery, wet stuff (sauce is sometimes alright if a little is put on a sandwich maybe but that's about it)

On some days I have to remind myself to eat. I'm underweight obviously.
People take it really badly if you don't eat in front of them. It might be a psychological factor from primitive times, sharing food so you know you can trust each other.

 No.4335

File: 1516329522688.jpg (655.29 KB, 670x800, amduscia.jpg)

>>4327
soylent.com
terrible name, but I've heard good things. It's a flexible meal replacement; provides calories and most of the necessary shit you can't get in a multivitamin.
>>4322
There wasn't any money to prioritize, madre held the purse strings and she was fucked in the head. I ate what I could get, when I could get it, and cleaned the plate with a vengeance. I dunno, maybe when things were good temporarily and I'd gorge myself I stretched out my stomach. Because I don't feel full until it hurts

Shit, it is so hard to unlearn the habits that kept you alive, even when they start being a problem. I feel for you, at least my problem doesn't entail much work

 No.5412

wasn't until last year that I had difficulties, before then I can't think of any issues arising from eating, even minor ones
but as of about summer 2018 I now can't eat more than a meal a day generally, sometimes 2, sometimes not even a proper meal and just a single slice of toast or something
was 35kg at my lowest, now I generally don't go below 45, and I do stay in the 45-55kg range but it fluctuates so much I think I should just get another set of scales to be 100% honest
it's not great but there's nothing anybody can do so I suppose that's a closed book

 No.5433

I binge/stress eat an alarming amount. Last I checked I was around 300 lbs at 5'0 (this was sometime either last year or the year before, I'm terrified of checking again). Doesn't really help that I live with a neglectful family that sabotages attempts to get my proverbial shit together (including but not limited to keeping the vegetables for themselves or cooking them to taste like garbage). With how little I go outside on top of several other problems I'm honestly terrified that I'm never going to be able to recover. I try to exorcise, but I feel more lethargic and drained of will than ever lately. Fasting helps, but I also don't want to go from one extreme to the other.

Plus, being a girl, the potential side effects of my polycystic ovarian syndrome are constantly looming over me. I feel like I'm in a deadlock and it fucking sucks.

 No.5527

I'm very skinny (18 bmi) used to be even lower but gained a bit when I stopped smoking. I find eating a chore most of the time the only when I was doing nofap and exercising could I find the motivation to eat enough but it always stopped after a while. I think it has something to do with dopamine receptors/regulation which pornography,masturbation and sedentarism wreak havoc on. Reminds me of that study where they destroyed all the dopamine receptors in some rats and they wouldnt eat even if the food was in front of them but if they put the food in their mouth they'd chew and find it enjoyable. It has something to do with drive apparently.
My teeth are fucked up now and I don't have money to fix them so that makes me even more hesitant to eat. Other than that yeah it was and it still is somewhat of a factor of low self esteem.



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 No.5523[Reply]

It's possible to have sort of a life being a hikki/neet. I've been on disability for a while. I've been on it since 18 and I'm 24 now. I had a girlfriend last summer (dating on and off). We finally met last summer, it was everything I could have ever imagined and more. It was magically, and then we rushed into something 'real' even though I was against it and it fell apart.

I met her 7 years ago online. I lost my virginity to her, and hers to me. It was sort of 'perfect' in a sense - but I don't believe there are actual women out there that can stand living in a NEETstyle. In bore down on us and created insane pressure, and we broke up over it. You'd have to be actually crazy hideous female, I think. My ex was thin, quite attractive, she had some skin problems and stuff. Nothing crazy though. I'm just fat, btw. Very, at that.

In my early years, probably highschool- I romanticized NEETdom and being Hikki. It's the worst thing you can do. I was a loser and friendless majority of my growing up and it fostered me into what I am today, but I'm working hard to change that. I DON'T want to be on disability, to be a NEET, etc… all that dysfunction that comes with it. For some it perhaps is inevitable. I am diagnosed mentally ill; some-what textbook Hikki. Honestly, it's the worst change you can have in your life. I loved that girl, and because of my NEET lifestyle it ruined it. I whole-heartily believe that it would have worked out if I wasn't a NEET and used to a terrible lifestyle.

anyways, I think it is possible to have a life being NEET… it's just exceptionally difficult… sorry if this was more of a rant. I am curious of other's struggles with neetdom and their personal victories.

I wish you all good luck and the willpower to improve.


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 No.3276[Reply]

Life story time
>Be 7 years ago
>18
>Have pretty OK life in front of me
>Suddenly start losing all motivation and sleeping more and more
>Be NEET for 3 years
>Finally get a part time job (cashier, though boss had me doing everything in the store)
>Start going to doctor thinking I was depressed
>2 years, 8 months of therapy, 25 different medications, $26,000 (after insurance) in doctor bills later
>At this point sleeping 16 hours a day and working the rest
>Occasionally dozing off during work and even while driving
>Doctor finally gives me CFS/ME diagnosis
>Tells me there's no treatment
>Gives me prescriptions for Adderall, Vyvanse, Concerta, Ritalin & Desoxyn
>They work great for a couple days before losing all effectiveness (even at max dose), takes over a month for tolerance to get back down
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 No.3363

Wow, you're fucked.

 No.3365

>>3360
Where are you located anon? I may be able to give you more specific advice depending on where you are located

 No.5489

https://uboachan.net/hikki/res/190.html#5488

is me, i have cfs/me, i'm on federal disability (in the USA)

you have to apply and get rejected then appeal then get a hearing, and hopefully have the word of a reputable doctor like i had from the guy at Stanford Hospital's CFS department, also have a disability doctor who knows what CFS is

its hard anon, no cure sucks, im improving but most aren't

 No.5492

File: 1550195566967.png (257.05 KB, 900x700, 0d63edcde4f7670a181e8338f2….png)

Afraid to know if it's really CFS have the same symptom of it but also nerve pain, which has led to a diagnosis of fibromyalgia instead. Honestly doctors are the worst, but being trained to ignore exactly what patients know is wrong is in their nature, it only takes one good doctor to set you on knowing the difference. Life gets too overwhelming but you can make the best of it in your own way.


Also have stomach and gastrointestinal issues, waiting to get a colonoscopy and more blood tests. Though have had a stomach infection for six months.

It'd be nice to talk to someone to understands this kind of existence

 No.5518

Most people fail their initial disability application. What you do then is contact a disability lawyer. There are tons of them who will file your appeal for free and then just take a portion of your backpay as payment when you're approved. I have had a few friends do this.



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 No.5462[Reply]

for a couple months last year, i had someone akin to my own misaki. i didn't know them irl, only talked to them online, but i was going out relatively frequently with their help, they calmed me down and helped me out in many different ways throughout my daily life, not just when i was outside, and i thought maybe it was the road to stopping being a hikikomori. they have some similar issues though, and in march of last year they started isolating themselves from everyone, online and irl (i talk to someone who is friends with them irl). so, for months now, i've been pondering, do i move on or continue waiting? i've been waiting for a long time now, but the extent they went too for me was something i've never had before, and doubt i'll ever have again. changing their sleep schedule to mine, legitimately always there when i needed them, kept me calm and relaxed, understood me and my emotional needs, went to great lengths to cater to my emotional needs, and did a great job at catering to those needs too, did so many things with me and for me, was very loyal, etc.
so, as i said earlier in the post, do i continue waiting or move on? i'm extremely dependent on other people, but that's a whole different thing to explain in itself. due to this extreme dependency, i really cannot see myself making any progress in my life without them, and i've only gotten worse since they've left..

 No.5463

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>>5462
Move on. You have my sympathy and i'm sorry to say this, but that person was as dependent on others as you, possible more so. They were using you as a means of feeling useful and good, kind of like Misaka, sure, but Misaka was somewhat put together despite her issues. Having a sociopathic therapist treating a sociopathic patient is a recipe for disaster and this applies to pretty much every condition. Maybe she wasn't aware of it herself, but that was the underlying motivation behind her actions. Maybe her own life took a turn for the worse or maybe she just lost interest.

You probably wont meet a person who has the same coping mechanism as her: seemingly altruistically helping out social recluses. Being more independent is the only viable solution and I wish you luck with that.

 No.5465

>>5463
i'm not sure how i can become independent though, that's not something i've ever really experienced in my life. do you have any advice on how to be more independent?

 No.5466

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>>5465
You're going to have to set your own goals. I don't know what you want out of life or where you plan on being in the long run. The two things I think everyone should do though is live healthily and be financially independent, which means finding a source of income. You can try finding any job you can get, or you can try to develop marketable skills like translating ability or anything that requires higher education.

You'll need to be able to get yourself to do work and advance towards your goals without the help of other people too. This means self-discipline and holding yourself accountable, which takes training to develop. Eat well, sleep enough, exercise, cut out the things in your life that distract you.

To be independent, you'll have to think for yourself too. This might seem counterintuitive, but you should read more and learn about the world and how other people think. This will give you a basis for your own opinions. Don't just passively agree with people. I don't know what your life circumstances are, but I think anybody can develop these skills with enough persistence. To be completely honest, I don't know how much faith I have in your ability to succeed considering how these are things that even I struggle with to an extent., but it's not my job to believe in you, it's yours.

 No.5509

>>5462
I've cut myself off from most people in my life, and when I get a way to support myself fully, I'll probably cut out the rest.
But part of me wants outside people to bust down these walls and rescue me from myself. Though even if they tried, I think i'd just run away again, or drive them away from me somehow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poKI_MY0Bkw
Maybe your friend is as hopeless or me, or maybe they aren't.



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 No.5493[Reply]

Happy Valentine's Day, Uboa-chan!
I'm a long-time lurker, first time poster,. I've told my sob-story a couple times on other -chans, only to get the usual “kys” response, so I decided to post here and see if any intellectuals feel like replying (or if anyone replies at all…)
At the age of 6, I was molested by my brother, and was quickly (forcefully) introduced to the world of sex from a very young age, only to be rejected by every girl I've ever been stupid enough to have feelings for. From my first grade crush, to all my cute coworkers, I'm almost 25, in the prime of my life, and am forced to watch happy, fruitful, loving relationships blossoming all around me, while all I get is my right hand and an internet connection.
To say that I used to get bullied in school would be an understatement. Elementary and Middle school were pretty miserable, but during my first year of high school, I made a friend (or so I thought). After about 3 or 4 months, a rumor spread around the school that I was gay, and this friend of mine tried to hook me up with a guy. I felt really bad turning the guy down, but this friend of mine, (and all his friends) got so pissed at me, that I was reported, and the teachers and administrators gave the students permission to bully me from then on. My parents didn't believe any of it and didn't do anything about it.
As for Elementary School, I'm like 85% sure there was a child trafficking ring going on behind my back. Every year was an event called the “School Sleepover” where kids would come to spend the night at the school to “play games and watch movies together”. They also apparently “Didn't have a sleepover every year” because it's a “potentially dangerous event” and that they “Needed approval from the school district”. However, I know for sure that each of my 4 siblings got to go at least twice and a friend of mine (who later became a pot-smoking, acid-dropping chad) got to go multiple times, and In 4th grade, he even got to 3rd base it with a girl who had a crush on me in a game of Truth or Dare. All this after my teacher threatened to expel me for asking when the sleepover would be. After the fact, when 10y/o Chad asked me why I didn't go, I said nobody told me, and when I asked what happened at the sleepover, he tuned bright red and said “I promised not to tell, and if I did tell, you would get extremely mad, and the whole school would get in a lot of trouble with the police.”
I won't bore you with Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5504

>>5503
That's pretty harsh anon, being so ronery ;_; isn't exactly uncommon

 No.5505

I hate Valentines day with a passion. It is a day created exclusively because the social value of being sexually active had fallen to a point that people had to create an entire day ensuring that anyone and everyone would see and acknowledge that yes, that person is having sex, and because of it, they are better than you.

 No.5506

>>5505
Yep. You're totally right, anon. Spread the news.

 No.5507

>>5505
It's not that deep.

 No.5508

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>>5493
Valentine's isnt really a big deal in my country so i wouldn't know and despite knowing it exists i don't think much about it because it sounds dumb and would hurt. Seems like you live in a pretty fucked up place if all of that is true, i'd try to get off this hellhole immediately.



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 No.190[Reply]

post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
40 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5090

>>4719
Welp I overdid it this summer because of my excitement at getting better so now i'm back to how I was 6 months ago. At least I know I can improve now though, just have to pace myself with is what the doctor has been trying to drill into me this whole time. I get very excited doing anything new so it's fucking hard though.

 No.5488

>>5090
improving again, weightlifting and going outside sometimes, and i'm going to go on another trip to visit my grandparents in 2 weeks that should be chill

living with my parents again sucks though get me OUT

 No.5498

woah, other people are like this?! I'm always ill it sucks i do everything to have a good immune system (except exercise) but i'm just always falling apart, rotting inside and imploding. I feel better knowing i'm not alone

 No.5499

>>5498
Yeah feels like you're cursed or something, maybe that's a childish way to put it but that's how it is. People calling you lazy is inevitable and awful though.

 No.5500

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Rest is important



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 No.2906[Reply]

I'm not too sure this goes on this board but it feels like it'd fit here more than Off-topic.

Anyway, does anyone here have an imaginary friend? Any kind, I think even tulpa sort of count. If so I'd love to hear stories even if it's childhood imaginary friends. More so I'm interested in how many NEETs and Hikkikomori have them and how it affects your day to day life.
21 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5481

Everything is Maya, Illusion. On an absolute sense, everything is unreal. Reality is a relative phenomena. A person is "real" relative to another existing person. An imaginary friend is "unreal" relative to an existing person. Real/Unreal for everyday usage is an expression of the nature of the relationship between two entities or objects. However, ultimately everything is unreal, illusion.

It is OK to enjoy the illusion. The illusion is not a mistake, it is Parabrahman's expression of Joy, the Divine Game, Lila.

Dance as you wish, anons

 No.5482

>>5481
While on a grander scale this may be true, an imaginary friend is a different sort of illusion than a flesh and blood one. Those differences are what people value.

 No.5483

I have imagenary foe. He always say to me rude things and laughing on anything i do.

 No.5484

>>5483
just sounds like low self esteem

 No.5487

I spend a lot of time daydreaming, or making up scenarios and that involves characters invented by me, though they're mostly NPCs in terms of personality and not consistent at all.



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 No.5245[Reply]

being alone for so long has stunted my ability to talk so much that i can barely construct full sentences in my head, let alone hold a conversation with anyone
20 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5454

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>>5447
>Normal people suffer when they near someone who suffer.
No, they only superficially care in order to keep up the facade. I doubt they genuinely care about a stranger whom they don't already have an affinity to.

 No.5455

>>5454
Wrong, false. While people can and do bullshit, a lot of the times, they'll actually feel bad in the moment but wont take meaningful action or still give a shit five minutes later.

 No.5456

>>5447
You have a point but I wouldn't say that "suffer" is the right word. Most of the time I do get overwhelmed around people who are in a bad situation, but the decision to care or not is something else. I tend to keep distance especially if I can't help.

 No.5457

>>5453
I respect hikkies as i am hikki too. And i assume problem desribed here is not a simple one like "my girl dont apriciate my football skill"

Profesional help. Do you have emough money for that?

>>5454
The way you look on it depends.

It is a question like "my wife is simulating in the bed what i should feel about it?". Normal person dont give a fuck is it simulation or not. Feel-ish bu normally-egoistic person would thank "wife" because she put an effort to please that person.
But only a depressive one would feels tricked and cheated.

>>5456
Depression is a internal suffering. Watch Sapolsky.

 No.5479

>>5455
> they give a shit five minutes later
They are also aware of this, hence they avoid people, who make them feel bad. Who wouldn't?



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