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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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🎉🎉🎉 Happy Birthday Madotsuki! 🎉🎉🎉

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My girlfriend is a NEET.

She has had a few jobs in the past, but she has always had to leave due to mental health problems. She has been struggling with mental health problems ever since her teenage years. Specifically, she has BPD and depression. I can relate with many of her feelings and experiences, because I also struggle with depression. One thing I should mention is that we have only talked online; I will be meeting her in person for the first time very soon. I seek other opinions and perspectives.

If you are in a situation similar to her, how would you want someone to support you?

If you have been in a similar situation, how did it go?


That sounds rough. I'd personally rather date a legitimate psychopath. I don't have all the information, but from what I do know, there's a possibility that you're being catfished. It's best if you remain cautious in any case. There's also a possibility that they're a lot better adjusted online than in real life, so don't be suprised if she's turns out to be hellish in person(her true colors may take time to show themself). You might be dead-set on this girl, but recognize that your romantic relationship with her isn't even in its infancy, it's embryonic. If things don't work out, it's not a big deal.


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I'm in almost the same position. I'll be blunt, the most you can do for support is just be there for them whenever trouble comes brewing. Ultimately they're responsible for their own well-being and future, not you. Giving your kindness should be enough. I haven't been in a similar situation, but I'm going to be breaking up with my current partner soon because I feel like I need to get my life together. Relationships can be a hassle so it's best to keep your window open. Hopefully things will go well for you, godspeed Anon.


If it's actually diagnosed…run, run like Sonic on crack.


Don't be like that. OP should be fine if the chick has it under control.

She doesn't lash out at you or anything, right?


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A thing that no one mentioned and that might seem like common sense but still gets ignored often is to meet at a large open public space for your safety. This isn't specific to OP's situation and should always be applied in any occasion. It's the Internet after all and anyone could be lurking.


Implying two people in an online "long distance relationship" are ever going to meet physically.


Admittedly my own situation is unlikely and usually things don't turn out this way, but the person who's now my fiance used to live almost 4000 miles away from me and we met originally on the internet. Life is weird, anything is possible.


seconding this

hate to be like that because i'm mentally ill too and i've known a lot of crazy people but

>I'd personally rather date a legitimate psychopath.



In a relationship, both people have to be reasonable and considerate of each other. This means being logical and in control of your emotions. If she's a neet, there's a decent chance that her condition has something to do with it. It's not like it'll go away if you inject enough love into her. Worst case scenario, you'll spend the rest of your life miserable when you could have been with somebody who made you happy.


>Implying everyone is poor


>If it's actually diagnosed…run, run like Sonic on crack.


>I'd personally rather date a legitimate psychopath.

making ppl with BPDs lives even harder gg????
i have plenty of BPD friends who worked hard on themselves and don't deserve these ableist af comments. no one even tried to answer this dude


You need to go back. Nobody is obligated to date somebody who objectively has emotional problems that will make life for everybody around them harder. Even if somebody, "works on themself", they will still show symptoms when you spend a lot of time around them. Also, I doubt a neet worked on themself that much or has that great self-control. Fuck off snowflake. Telling op to be careful is what's best for them, even if it offends you. Just fuck off right now.


Stop getting triggered over the word "ableist"


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People with partners with BPD face a lot of trouble, psychologists say it.





>Borderline personal disorder (BPD) relationships are often chaotic, intense, and conflict-laden, and this can be especially true for romantic BPD relationships.

>constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.

>They also experience severe anger and frequently undermine their significant others.

>These individuals are unable to tolerate being alone due to their abandonment anxiety.

>Researchers have found that BPD symptoms and diagnosis successfully predict dating satisfaction and stress, adolescents’ conflict with romantic partners, domestic violence, and separation and divorce.

If you want to get involved with someone who knows they have been diagnosed with this and still chooses to date you instead of seeking help that's your problem.

Science is not ableist, fuck off to Tumblr with your buzzfeed adjectives.


You know you're not actually supposed to put your email in the email field unless it's necessary, right?

This keeps happening, who is posting uboachan links on facebook?


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My Visa account packed up like glue rn


It's a buzzword. I don't get offended by words, I get offended by faggots.


but you're on uboachan though…
ESPECIALLY on /hikki/..

like, what are you even expecting?


well I think people with mental disorders should not have children unless they are affluent and can guarantee their children will not have to work to survive. I read many stories of people growing up in broken homes and hating for even existing. Other than that I think people with mental disorders should be compatible dating each other and they probably can understand each other better and the needs of the other.

I don't know, maybe the BPD hotheads with each other and the shizoids with each other. The narcissists with each other and the legit autistic with each other. I mean what is there even to do in life for 50 and more years if you have nobody to spend your time with?
I would not be surprised if we had an entire generation of people killing themselves at age 35 out of boredom in a few years.




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>My girlfriend
You can start by getting the fuck out here.(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)


We're not wizchan.




Someone's mad no one loves them.


Honestly I'd say it's too toxic of a relationship to really try to pursue. It's good to have someone who understands what you're going through but two sick people will only enable each other to become sick.

I was in a similar situation to her and as much as I wished I wasn't in pain, I dont think I ever really wanted to get better until recently. The reality behind it all is no one can support you but yourself, and parasitic or codependent relationships will only cause further regression. I ended up moving in and getting engaged to the guy I was in love with and shared common experience/depression/etc with for many years online, and ultimately I ended up having a huge breakdown and becoming very impulsive or volatile any time the relationship became even somewhat uncomfortable because I lacked any strong foundations. She needs to work on herself before pursuing any relationships, and you should too, both of you be very careful, take it very slow, feelings are very blinding.


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Wow, this site is a real bait and switch. I thought it was a place for hikkis but its actually for normalfags who LARP as hikki. Pretty gross won't be coming back.


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Is this 2012 all over again? Where are the anti normie warriors coming from?
And who the hell thought a *real* neet board would be a good idea anyway?

No no, you leave. This place was originally for anime and mango, you… filthy western-language speaker. In fact, we no longer speak english here, it's fucking disgusting.


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>I thought it was a place for hikkis but its actually for normalfags who LARP as hikki.
You don't know what a "hikki" is, a hikki with a girlfriend is still a hikki, go google what a hikki is.

No need to be an hostile gatekeeper when the definitions are against you.

If you actually lurked here you'd know that this board isn't exclusive for hikkis, NEETs or whatever thing kids do nowdays, and that some people in this categories can do what they want with their lives.

I'm not a NEET, I have a girlfriend, a job, I have friends, I'm neurotypical and my social skills are perfect for me and I still belong in /hikki/ more than you, get mad.


you'll be hardpressed to find a decent place with actual hikis that isn't a tiny old tightknight community or full of teenbros who think the label applies to them equally

imagine coming to a tumblr tier yume nikki fansite expecting real hikis/truneets though lol


>whatever thing kids do nowdays
>I'm not a NEET, I have a girlfriend, a job, I have friends, I'm neurotypical and my social skills are perfect for me
>get mad
>get mad
>humble brag
>double downing on being a richard
You can stop self-fellating now.


Thank you I won't, especially when someone is trying to make people look "less hikki" for showing what for them are normie traits.


I get what you mean. It's a real dick move to judge a person, their social status and their mentality solely based on something superficial. You'd have to be a real dick to do something like that.


Is this for real? Sorry, I have autism and have a hard time detecting sarcasm.


A little of both in the first one, none in the second.


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>You don't know what a "hikki" is, a hikki with a girlfriend is still a hikki, go google what a hikki is.

Hikikomori don't have girlfriends Misaki does not exist also i see the term hikikomori being incorrectly used a lot online introverts with jobs calling themselves hikikomori. I hate to break it to you but you're not a hikikomori a hikikomori is a hermit who never leaves their home or bedroom and spends nearly everyday at home for about 6 months or even years due to the stress and pressure put on them by society most Hikikomori are also Neets but some do have jobs where they work from home and never leave their homes or rooms that's what a hikikomori is. Even the word NEET is incorrectly used online the definition of NEET is not contributing to society Neets are people who don't go to work or school and don't wanna contribute to society not unemployed people who still look for work while unemployed this site is full of normal scum and it is cancer.


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Don't bother posting here bud don't even know why i do. This place doesn't have any actual Neets or Hikikomori on it honestly i feel like the only real one because it's just normal niggers pretending like hhhhhhhaaaaa look at me yeah i have a job and go to uni but i like to stay home i'm such a hikki man or man i just lost muh job bruh i need to find work i am a NEET LOL XXDXDXD a bunch of retards. and the fact that they ban people like >>4790 shows that image boards have been taken over by normal people now it was better in the old days when it was just nerds geeks anime fans otakus weeaboos Neets Hikikomori incel virgins and social rejects.


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Sorry to break your posing as knowing something but there is nothing in the diagnosis or in psychology theory as a whole that says a hikki can't have a romantic relationship, they can be reclusive, socially inept, extremely shy and the most beta you can imagine, but there is another person who can take initiative for them and long distance relationships through the internet exist.

Also, never said I am one, I'm obviously not.


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They don't leave their rooms dumbass they eat in their rooms some piss in their rooms they do everything in their rooms hell some of them don't even see their goddamn parents and have food left at the door hikikomori don't have girlfriends unless were talking online dating but even that wouldn't work out for a hikikomori.


While a person can be a hikki and have a romantic partner, the chances of that happening are minuscule. Unless somebody is a girl, there's little reason for their partner to go through the extra effort, especially if it's long distance, which hardly counts as a relationship.
>I'm obviously not.
Oh, yeah. You made that very clear. A ten incher Argie like you couldn't possibly be a pathetic, poorly adjusted urchin.


First of all, they weren't banned. secondly, you have no place calling people retards when you write like that. If you weren't a newfag and you read the rules, you would know how annoying that kind of word vomit is to people who have actually used the site for awhile.
Okay, get out. Incel culture is cancer. Ubuu has never been for incels or their ilk.


>Psych Major got debunked
>I-I can't do it so no one else can

>Oh, yeah. You made that very clear.
Then why did you need to say that I am not one? Do you need to get this radical just because you've been discovered trying to use science that doesn't support you? I'm assuming I'm talking to the same Freud person, apologies if you're not them.




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>Incels are fine
>Literally people who complain they couldn't have sex
>Calls people normies


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I'm not the Freud guy. I just wanted to point out how much you've been stroking off your own ego lately. Saying how obvious it is that you aren't a disgusting hikki or neet is another form of this. Ha ha, that's funny.
Is it nice out?


For the most part I agree with you though.


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>>Psych Major got debunked

No it didn't.

>The Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare defines hikikomori as a condition in which the affected individuals isolate themselves from society in their homes for a period exceeding six months. The psychiatrist Tamaki Saitō defines hikikomori as "a state that has become a problem by the late twenties, that involves cooping oneself up in one's own home and not participating in society for six months or longer, but that does not seem to have another psychological problem as its principal source".

>HUrrrrrrduurrr get out virgin

I was talking about all image boards dumbass not this one specifically also i'm not an incel but i am a real Hikikomori Neet i'm just saying that image boards were better back in the day when they weren't infested with normalfags.


You're just wasting your time. People from the lower part of America have a hard time with critical thinking skills. He'll just tell you that arguing is pointless and that you're wasting your time on an internet guy. Then he'll tell you how much better he is. It's an easy cope-out. Really, don't bother. Let's get back on topic.


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It was never my intention to say hikki/NEET are a bad thing, I was actually defending them against the purist gatekeeper newfag cancer who tries to pass as a regular user just to be talking about incels later.
If my success hurts you that's an entirely different thing, my ego won't get any smaller it's a promise, especially because you dismiss the point of my post just to focus on that, it's not pointless either, I don't just randomly flex for no reason.
I made such a big emphasis on it because a lot of the things I listed are considered normie traits and they are precisely against that.

No one should invalidate hikki users just because they don't adjust to their arbitrary standards, don't even get me started on that anti normie hunt, what are we, Wizchan?

>Is it nice out?

So I'm from Argentina? What do you even know about me and how's that related to this? Do you want to expose my nationality because…?


>No it didn't.
Yes it did, you mention absolutely nothing about a romantic relationship being impossible. Being reclusive and reject society is not enough, it takes two to start a relationship and yes, online long distance relationships exist and those isolated in their rooms won't be any less hikki for that.

>HUrrrrrrduurrr get out virgin
Nice strawman, how very dishonest of you, you mentioned incels here, there were never incels in Uboachan in your imaginary golden times.


>no reason
No, you do it to pretend that you won an argument.
>No one should invalidate hikki users
Yeah, and people shouldn't be labeled as being hikkis and neets just for their preferences.
>considered normie traits
They're considered normal fag traits because they're most common among normal fags. Like I already said, hikkis can have romantic relationships while being socially reclusive(still a hikki), but that is far less likely for them and the form those relationships usually take barely counts by my, and a lot of people's standards. I don't think people like op should be judged for that, but you're still a self-dick sucker.


>Do you want to expose my nationality because
Also, it was just a hunch, I've talked to some argies before.



I've been on here since 2016 i just never really post here actually.

> there were never incels in Uboachan in your imaginary golden times.

Again you stupid American nigger i was talking about image boards in general not this one specifically pay attention you retarded normalfag.(USER WAS BANNED FROM HIKKI FOR THIS POST)


>You're just wasting your time. People from the lower part of America have a hard time with critical thinking skills

You have a good point why even bother trying to argue with a normal nigger anyway.


You people may want to tone down your xenophobic posts, it's been a bunch by now. I get we're on an imageboard but doing it excessively may attract the wrong people.


Are a fairly recent development. In the, "old b", they would have been made fun of for being such ragefag tryhards.
>retarded normal fag
Please ban, sei.


>Destructively attack or provoke other users.
>Write in shorthand like you're texting someone. We really prefer that you speak in full sentences here, and proper grammar is a huge plus.
>Be excessively abrasive or be a dick in general.
>Use slurs (especially racial ones) too frequently or just to be a meanie.
>just to be a meanie.


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>Are a fairly recent development

No they have become mainstream recently incels have existed as far back as the old days of /r9k/ before it was taken over by normalfags and women.


>In the, "old b", they would have been made fun of for being such ragefag tryhards.

The term incel didn't exist back then 4chan was created by a weeaboo and it originally was a site for anime fans social outcast and fans of Japanese culture normalfags started coming in once Moot added more normal-like boards and when 4chan started getting mainstream attention.

>Please ban, sei.

This is a image board not Tumblr.


Please try to keep discussion about moderation out of non-/sugg/ threads. Also be careful about not getting provoked into breaking rule 6 yourself. This whole thread is toeing the line.



SJWs showing off their true colors.


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>6-Destructively attack or provoke other users.
How in the dick is banning someone for multiple continuous agressions a social justice matter? No really. I'm honestly willing to know.


>goes into containment board
>complains it's a containment board
0/10 newfag isn't even trying. Please stop.



>online long distance relationships exist and those isolated in their rooms won't be any less hikki for that.

I mean there could also be a physical relationship of 2 hikkies in a room togheter that dont interact with soceity and other stuff like a single hikki whould and tick all the boxes if we where to count them as one person like not going outside for 6 months and not interacting with others (other than themselfes) . dont know if that counts as hikki or just NEET.

While very unlikely , its a possibility , the most likely way i can think of is hikki meeting hikki online and falling in love then deciding to move in the same room.

I mean hikki is ultimately just a label to describe existing behaviour at the end of the day so it doesnt really matter of someone is labeled a hikki or not because if they still suffer most if not all the symptoms (for example didnt leave the room for 10 months except one time 5 months ago when they needed to buy milk from the store may not be techically hikki because they left the room but still suffer the acute social withdrawl and all that stuff).


>if we where to count them as one person


My ideea was that its a very socially recluse couple , as in:

-spending most of the day and nearly every day confined to home,

-marked and persistent avoidance of social situations, and social relationships, (except for the GF/BF)

-social withdrawal symptoms causing significant functional impairment,

-duration of at least six months, and
no apparent physical or mental etiology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms.


If somebody wanted to be a normie they could do it on heyuri or 7chan
I'm glad you think you're that important

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