Stop making art out to be this test of endurance. For some like you it is pleasurable because the process syncs with your thought process. For people unlike you, neurotic, psychotic or sane, it's against their entire perspective. You'd make a god awful survivalist or numismatist, because that's not the kind of person you are and that is perfectly ok. Nobody ought to judge you for not being the right man for the job/diversion, whether that activity is art or anything else.
"lose all motivation to enjoy myself, and the life is basically sucked out of me" is very indicative of something resembling acedia, depression, or just ennui. Empty feelings don't bode well for art, don't you agree? But yeah, from that I gather that OP hasn't much faith or joy in himself anymore and is having a bitch of a time seeing a point to anything. Cold, hard, clear progress in something could help build his spirit slowly and surely, while distracting from the void, not shoving it in his face. Art does not provide that. Exercise involves quantifying reps, time, resistance so that feeling of meliora is a matter of fact. In carpentry, either the shelf you made is working or it isn't. In art, yeah the picture is done, when you feel that it is done. Hopefully you feel the same way tomorrow, hopefully you don't regret any of the many judgement calls that you made in the process.
Not every injury to the soul is a chemical imbalance or mental illness. There are a lot of alternative approaches to just pills and couchsitting. Art therapy would be the one yoh'd like best, but a lot of these approaches are just passive/complacent hobbies with a paid guide and confidant. To respect someone like you do, as a first measure, you have to assume that the person can try to make positive changes in their life, in short that they are sane. Caveat, with a keen eye focused on warning signs that certain advice won't suit them or, in the case of the neurotic and psychotic, that they can't help themselves and act on reasonable advice given in good faith.
Using words to preserve mental images is like trying to keep water in a cup missing its bottom by putting a paper towel to it. That analogy was messy, but so is the floor, now. Your point the reversibility of art is a blanket statement that collapses under its own generalizations. Even pencil can only be erased so many times, before the paper starts to give way and the surroundings of the trouble area get collateral damage. Watercolors, ink, clay, oil, chicken fat, acrylic, assemblage, etc. are much less forgiving. I am disappointed that you treated such a flawed statement as a trump card.
Blurry line, spectrum, cartesian plane, shades of gray, whatever metaphor you need to use to take what I said into consideration, please do. These visualizations are disposable, and only as clear as the message needs them to be.
This is not about hypothetical third parties and what they may or may not mean by saying the same thing I have said. That is pure conjecture about things alien to this debate. And how is calling art uncertain a jab, when you turned it into a selling point so seamlessly? Yeah, all words can be synonymed into good or bad reflections of the meme they represent, but your arguements are starting to lose cohesion and if I meant it as a smear I'd think you couldn't pull off what you did in your current state.
So who got you into Egotism? Nietszche, Rand, or Allin?
You have not had your Existential Crisis, I have gleaned. I'll admit, your optimism and drive made me suspect as much. The void stares back and all that. I am not an idealist, hence I prescribe rules of thumb, logical caution, and refuse to squish my petceptions of the world to fit one doctrine or another. I just look at what I see, and seek to understand. Moreso than myself winning this arguement, I want you to start looking at the world that way, too.
Knowing what to say and knowing when to say it are two distinct skills. You ought to spend some time honing the latter, even the right thing can come out wrong based on the situation. There is a reason lessons have plans and structures.
Good and bad aren't absolute. We know that CO is carbon monoxide, we can prove it. There is no empirical proof in moralism, if there was, there'd be one religion and one political system. Being a killer is not absolutely bad. Context is everything, because context is everything.
I am disappointed with you. You seem to have lost the fire, attention, and the focus that made you such a formidable opponent, I wonder if you are losing your will, or are just starting to show your gaps in knowledge. Perhaps you are the shitposter, and are impersonating my partner in this dialogue as some attempt at revenge. I'm gonna go eat sushi, hasta mañana