No.6987
How do you deal with an embarrassing past?
Also, share your embarrassing past. None will beat mine.
Humiliation is hard to overcome because I feel like I'm a trash human being, I'm constantly afraid that people will see my past in the afterlife and see all the humiliating things that happened to me and cringe. I can't be friends with them because I feel unworthy of their friendship.
I was a special ed student at 5 years old, spent all my youth with disabled people, they would lock me up in a padded room with no light when I misbehaved anyhow or didn't listen to the teacher.
I went to normal school after that and the teacher refused to let me use the bathroom, I peed my pants in front of the whole class and was bullied for 3 years over it.
I was bullied in 3 different schools because I had been sheltered and spoiled by my parents who thought they had a "special son".
I was beaten by bullies, isolated, humiliated, and had no friends for years.
I became bitter and angry and joined the chans, which fucked me up even more with gore videos and whatnot.
My parents left me to rot as a NEET for years to take care of my sisters and never paid attention to me.
I know my dad and mom hate me secretly and prefer my two sisters who are neurotypical.
I was an autistic retard, my whole youth. I can't overcome that and become someone I'm not. I will always be a retard.
No.6988
>>6987no idea, something I struggle with
autistic NEET, tons of weird and embarassed retarded shit in my past and everytime I make friends or get close to someone I just nuke things and start over because they might find out who I am
No.6989
same
No.6990
Big same
No.6995
>>6992Mmm no I think it's too late for me, I'm gonna sudoku soon.
No.6996
>>6995>I think it's too late for me>I thinkYou can always change your thinking. It's not too late while you're still here.
No.6997
>>6996How do I live knowing that I am autistic beyond repair?
No.6998
>>6996But what if changing your thinking doesn't do anything?
No.7001
>>6987yall ever just be going about your day and your mind reminds you of that time you pissed yourself in the school assembly and shows you the piss puddle in the empty assembly hall
my mind just constantly reminds me of embarrassing shit fun fun fun
No.7003
i remember when i slipped on someones vomit in 2nd grade and fell on it and everyone laughed at me and i got sick
No.7005
>>7004
That's not embarassing anon, your mom is just a toxic person it seems. My mom did the same thing when I went to her in 9th grade to tell her things that troubled me.
You have no reason to take anything out on yourself over this. Seems she might've gaslighted you into thinking so
You are the victim, I have shit ton of brain fog so I can't come up with anything else, so take care
No.7006
its too late
No.7011
>>6997Stop thinking you're autistic beyond repair and think about the life you want to live.
>>6998It could be that you're still thinking thoughts that block your new line of thought. Alternatively your old line of thinking could be so deeply rooted that it'll take a while for the new thoughts to override it.
Patience is the key and what you focus on is what you're gonna get more of.
No.7015
>>7011What when you don't know what kind of life you want?
No.7017
>>7015The answer is already within you, but is likely repressed by outside influences. Disconnecting from the world and spending more time with your own thoughts will bring you closer to it. For starters, you could think about the life you don't want to live and then think about the opposite to that way of life.
No.7030
nothing beats being pathetically heartbroken
No.7043
I was put in solitary confinement too as a kid for being labeled autistic. You’re probably American, this a very American problem. It’s an immense human rights abuse that i’ve been angry about for years and had a very negative impact on my life. There were weeks where I would arrive at school, get put in that cell, and not get let out until the bell rang. for the day to be over. This went on and off for for 3 years before I got switched to another school.
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, this culture fucked you over like it fucked me over. The only thing you can do is move on in spite of that, and maybe if you gives you some purpose, like it does for me, use the hope of organizing to abolish solitary confinement in “schools” as a motivator to get out of bed.
No.7049
Just dont talk about it. if you have to mention it, keep it brief.
"yea xyz happened a few years back, im over it / i changed"
make it a footnote and you wont have ot explain to people.
No.7050
honestly?
i want to fucking die!!