/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>805
>They don't have any values, any morals, nothing is sacred to them.
>not even my most trusted friends, seem to care about any of the same things as me.
>because they are so flippant and careless about things that matter deeply to me and have no desire to change.
You want them to care about something that is tied to morality. With the way you speak of needing people to care about this one thing to be your friend, you sound like some kind of heavily radicalized activist, correct me if I am wrong, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, live your life how you want it, however your standards for having friends seem far too high, of course there are things I care about, but I don't care if my friends care or not about them, not everybody needs to think like me about those things(or anyone for that matter)
So it wouldn't matter if I told you how I made friends because that probably wouldn't work for you, but if you're curious, I knew most of them at the gym, and some of them in MMORPGs, there's exactly 8 guys I consider friends and 1 of them is actually oppose to most of the most serious things I believe in.(no girls for some reason)

For the most part I was the one initiating conversation, the bottom line is there's plenty of other people that didn't remain friends.

Looks like you got two choices, tell new people about this "thing" you care about and make it your filter, or lower your standards.

>>807
love the way you immediately made this about yourself

>>808
Of course you love it, because there's nothing wrong with it and is in fact spot on. Thank you for appreciating it.

OP is asking for advice, talking about my personal experience to use as example is perfectly fair, especially when I specify precisely that when I say my experiences would probably not work on OP.

I also love your response. I love the part where you discard half of the post that doesn't speak about my experience at all just so you can say I make it about me.

I love the use of the word "immediately" as well, because I don't start talking about my experience until the last part of my post.

>>809
you write like lair4anon lol

>How do you guys make friends?
Idk honestly. it kinda happens in social events or online in groups chat, another (yet virtual) social gathering.
I don't have many close friends. got lucky enough to keep contacts and stick with childhood friends. these are the first ones i can consider close. and then the next ones are old internet friends from imageboards that we happen to have stuck around with eachother for a long time. We are all in the same group chat, but (I) have limited 1:1 talks privately with them. only a few i talk to regularly. and that's it. that's my friend circle.
there's other people i know, but i'd be more comfortable calling them acquaintances at best. details about them are fuzzy at best. Humans can only properly keep up with so few friends, you know?

>I really don't want to invest a lot of time and effort into new friendships just so they can let me down years later too. I don't know what to do.
See, the thing is that forming these connections and maintaining them, for me, never felt like it required actual effort. I don't think it should, for anyone, either. it felt like i was passively participating in building a friendship, while i am doing this whole socializing thing. that last part is what drains my battery and makes me go reclusive to do my own things. I wanna play a team game? Well let's grab a couple folks that wants to, too. the purpose is to play the game and i'm creating a connection in the process. Not always, but sometimes it passively happens.
(I used that example like I still do all of that myself, but the truth is that I don't do that anymore. I used to do it when I was younger playing competitive games. I much prefer to stick to myself nowadays…)

It also helps to be a regular at some place or online space. to be somewhat known by other regulars. these are your acquaintances with who one of em may (finally) click with you and that's when they'll go from acquaintance to a friend. that kind of connection also happens at a job. (I understand where I am posting this to, but in the interest of being comprehensive and sharing my experiences : yeah. it's pretty easy to create acquaintances at a job.)

ig tl;dr : be a regular somewhere. in meatspace or on the wired. it'll just happen.
as for your friends atm : don't think too hard about it. no need to cut contacts if you don't gotta. You'll find folks that align bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I hope I can gain some peacefulness

>>751
Study at college then uboanon, I used to sit in the community college library for hours and made it a rule that I couldn't have my laptop or phone out and could only listen to music while reading my textbooks and working on them.

>>763
I ended up passing anyways, I think the problem is not so much about "studying" but more about going to classes.

New semester tho let's hope it goes better! Tho from when I first posted to now I just lost every friend except for one lol. Getting to talk to people at uni again will totally be super nerve wrecking and make me feel like a turbo spergy.

Woke up early because of jet lag, wired off caffeine from two cups of strong black tea, and came across music I made some 4 years ago back when I was still NEET and had all day every day to sink into anything I wanted. Sometimes I really miss those times, although I think it's mainly nostalgia and I'm sure overall my life is better now.

How do you guys manage the feeling of wanting to withdraw from everything? Currently the only thing I have to cope is the idea that I'll quit after a year at my job and take a year or two off, but obviously that isn't sustainable forever. I feel like eventually I'm going to snap, it's like holding in a sneeze.

You're confusing healthcare and institutions

>>783
In my experience they are the same.

>>797
I hope nobody here is eating while reading this.
Yes the bed and herself/her clothes. I don't know much about it beyond that because I asked him to not tell me.

>>795
He would always tell me he's in a hurry and needing money because of her bills and rent, he also always bought her gifts, mostly deco, plushies and useless junk for her room, which is weird because he claimed to be broke.
Another thing to consider is that he spent a lot of money moving to be able to live the relationship, it started as an online only thing.

>>798
Wow. Let this be a cautionary tale for many here.

Did he have to move far to live with her? How far did he have to move? Sounds like insane sacrifices all around

>>798
…was it like, a fetish thing?

also lmaoooo losers look my tiger even has a little hole in his back for storing chopsticks or stationery bet yours doesnt

>>800
Holy shit I wish I had one of those

>>801
haha you never will though broke ass nigga haha

>>718
please help me with some realistic perspective. right now i just feel like everything is skate 3 ragdoll physics

>>721
>ive been suffering from extremely bad head pressure/headache for years
I had a bad pressure headache for two days once and I went to the doctor and they told me that it's a pressure headache and I was able to fix it easily.
Just a reminder that if something is hurting and you can afford it, go to the doctor. Pressure headaches are easy to fix if you're healthy otherwise. Even if whatever is hurting you doesn't appear lethal, you shouldn't be suffering for so long without aid…
>inb4 only people who can't afford it wouldn't go to the doctor
Some people will try to sit anything out. Don't do that. Try to find the cause, whether it's physical or psychological or try to find something that helps.
Saying this as someone who has been sitting something out because I don't want to go to the doctor but I'm at a point where it's so bad, I think I'll have to go…

>>759
thanks for the reply

hmm

I didn't know that there were people in the same situation as me out there. It makes me feel better.
I've been having trouble finding my way out of this due to my own personality. I tend to overshare, and can't read social situations, so my interactions are weird most of the time. It's like I can't help it XD
And that's also a reason I haven't been able to stay in any job. My akwardness just floats to the surface and makes me ruin everything.

And now my body hurts due to some medical complications. So, it sucks.

But at least programming is cool, and cyberpunk, and I'm learning a new language! So it's not so bad I guess.

Anyway, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone. I mean, it's not the best place to be in, but… At least is less bad when

>>675

I have no clue if you're still on here. I haven't posted on here since like…2014.

Would you essentially be describing rumination/perseveration? From what I've read from other neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism), SSRIs can help with ruminating.

My issue was for a long time, I didn't realize most of my issues were due to ruminating. I was too focused on the things that would make me ruminate in the first place that I didn't made the connection until many years later.

Nobody should be taking SSRIs. They turn people into p-zombies. Every mass shooter of the past fifty years has been on SSRIs. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
Seconded, I've seen what that garbage can do to people

Nobody should be having gay furry sex. It turns people into :3-zombies. Every autist of the past fifty years has had gay furry sex. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
I agree with the sentiment to some degree, but I don't think they make every single person a zombie. It's hyperbolic. The issue isn't that SSRIs are useless, its that theyre over prescribed and general modern medicine around mental health is still pretty early in its infancy.

The shooters and similar are usually people who while maybe have mental illness, are more a product of their environment. Someone just going on a spree shooting just because isn't really a common thing. Instead it's usually people radicalized or just giving into their delusions and regardless of any of that, have failing support systems.

A big thing for me is that most medicine is far behind as well as most the time mental health professionals ignore the actual contextual issues someone faces and generalizes. An incel that goes on to commit mass murder isn't the same as someone whos delusional from schizo disorders. But almost everyone regardless of your issues, will be treated the same by a doctor as the first steps. Even with therapy its like this thou can vary a bit more. Generally thou, in the west at least, CBT therapy is the first choice automatically. This can be detrimental to many people because its focusing on fixing your actions more than anything else. And like someone who experienced massive child abuse being told to just fix their own actions can lead to horrific outcomes for their wellbeing. Just to give an example.

>>698
I can’t stand being outside I feel like I don’t belong there.

I really don’t know what i want to do in life i literally model myself off fictional characters all i do is spend time in my room do you have any suggestions on how to get better and sorry for the way i write this post its my time here and im still trying to learn

Nothing ever gets better. Wish I could work up the courage to kill myself.

>>766
fiv enight fredy

Could be worse, you could go blind and become unable to escape in the first place. Be grateful even if you think it's the the of the world because there is no bottom to how bad it can actually get

>>741
>20
>no university
>hate studying
>want to earn money
>doesn't want to get into a trade that destroys the body
>doesn't want to be outside all day
One of my friends did vocational training and learnt a trade before going to university, failing and then studying something that he's better at at a different university.
I also know someone who went into archaeology but her body couldn't keep up with it after so many decades (I don't know if she got any health problems but she mentioned that the job is harder on her body than it used to be) so she went back to university for something a bit more easy for someone of older age.
Even if whatever you choose gets too much, you can still try something else (although university costs money ofc, but you're being supported when it comes to education, right?).
Maybe check out jobs that are recommended for older people, they usually are a bit easier on the body https://www.greatseniorliving.com/articles/jobs-for-older-people
Also, a physically not demanding job isn't necessarily better for your body (sedentary lifestyle and all), but if you're concerned about this, you're surely working out regularly anyway.
>no matter what path I take, I will end up regretting it
I think you're overestimating how bad a "wrong" choice would impact you. I know several people who failed university and they just studied something else, you can do that. (Unless you're in america or some place where studying is unreasonably expensive, then it just depends on how rich your caregivers are)
Either way, if you keep your pessimistic outlook, you'll fret about "oh no, back in my 20's I had a NEET phase, my CV is ruined, I wasted my youth" or whatnot, like, it doesn't have to be that big of a deal either way, but I can promise that you'll have more fun doing productive things. Doesn't have to be mentally challenging, just a regular job.
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>>753
Well, I was gonna suggest just quickly learn a profession on your own that's profitable enough on your country, where I live there's truck driver, carpenter, industrial cleaner, crane and heavy machinery operator and more, but then I read…

>I also don't want to get into a trade after seeing how destroyed is the body of some people is after working all his life into one. And also, I dont want to be outside all day, specially in winter.

Well life's tough little fella! You were a little kid living into the delusion that your life is just what you saw and you weren't gonna live long so why care, but that's false, and I'm not blaming you, kids and teens are retarded because they've never experienced the world outside, and that's normal, when I was a kid, I thought life was easy just because the whole finish school-get a degree-get a job-work and retire sounded too simple, boom, debt hit me in the face.

You're not to blame for that, but your whole attitude of "I want to make progress but not get my hands dirty" is a problem

See, the easiest job I got is this, I bought pool cleaning equipment, they called me and I cleaned pools for rich people, it was very okay, it just stopped because I had to move, see if that makes sense over there.

Work is not just a hassle, it can be an excuse to get out there and find meaning.

Any casinos nearby? They always need cooks, housekeepers or security guards. It's not glamorous but it pays bills. I took a job cleaning - saved me last time I was out of work for a while. They're a bit nosy on the license application though… costs money to get it and they wanted 10 years of my life history (your toilets are are safe with me boss!).

You could always just go to Japan, there are no qualifications/requirements to get a 2year japanese language school visa residency besides being able to pay 1 million jpy/year and have rent.

Why not live your otaku gooning anime dreams, and either propser as a neet in japan or fail and say you atleast try?

if you want to attend university but not really care, temple university and lakeland university accept anyone with a pulse, offer remote classes and you can use USA student aid to attend so it is 100% free outside housing.

If you want to make money, you do not need to go to school, I did IT, and been in it for basically 20 years now and in a comfy position, it's one of the last careers you can really neet/stay inside and succeed from.

since you're 20, I'd do the japan route, youth is nice, I had the pleasure of going to japan when I was 25+, if I was 20, i'd probably be staying there more - but I found success elsewhere..

so lets review:

go find a sharehouse, go to jp on 90 day visa to see, sharehouse should be $300-400/month in tokyo.

jap language school enrollment for now is for summer, enough time to learn the basics and not go in winter which sucks, though spring is the best.
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>>755
zoinks thats rough

There's an indie bookshop in town and it looks lime a sweet gig to work at. Barstool at the front counter, just have to help lost aunts find childrens' books for gifts and ring that stuff up. Entire shop is only as big as a living room so not a ton of moving around.

I always kinda admired day traders and cryptobros but those days are gone, can't compete with bots.

>>758
I do believe trading will continue providing an edge to the talented and hard working for more time than one would think. Mostly because the markets are so vast that it would be hard to make all of them instantly efficient across every single time frame and industry. Super advanced, profitable algorithms do not inform this breadth as their edge is very specific, and don't measure up even if they were all combined (otherwise nobody except machines would be making money which is untrue today). You might be the only person in the whole world that knows certain information or has a mind who perceives things in a certain way that can be used in this arena to create an edge. Until AI can account for things like that I don't think it will be a solved game.