/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>817
forgot to mention. the point of doing a program/internship in a high demand field is to give you multiple advantages. first of all you're going into a field where the chances of getting hired are higher than the norm. secondly, saying you joined a program/whatever in a totally different field helps if you have no actual experience (or very little) because they do not give a fuck about your experience in a field unrelated since you can't translate those skills to your new field. they won't even bother calling to see if you actually worked there. they'll care morea bout some internship or temp job you did in the field they care about and will check that.

don't blindly pick the fields i listed if you have nothing to lose, it's highly dependant on your location (and sometimes it's just luck).

Escaped for 9 years and now I'm back. Some wild stories there but yep that's the way it is.

Feels like we just live with our afflictions forever, only temporarily pushing them down but never really fixing them proper. I laugh at how naive I was in those moments where it seemed like this type existence was so far away and behind me. Maybe I got too careless and complacent but my canonical recount is that I did everything I could to keep the dream alive. If I'm lying to myself I will never know.

My main point is that I'm personally shocked at how far someone can come only for none of it to mean anything. Reminds me of that one song.

>>822
Let's not be fatalistic for no reason. I'm sure you didn't leave those 9 years with nothing. It's not abnormal after a decently long period of employment to be unemployed for some time after, especially nowadays where NEETdom is way more common than it used to be just a few years ago. Hell, a lot of normies out there I see/know have long periods of unemployment as well.

People don't change, they just become more of who they really are. Temporarily gaining the strength to stray away from one's nature always involves the same thing, a lot of suffering. Personally the moment I truly left NEETdom, I never went back. Because the reason I left it was because of immense pain/anguish that made me genuinely see suicide as some kind of mercy killing for myself. It was around 3 weeks of pure hell during which sleeping felt like heaven because of the relief. Can't even explain why, it just happened at some point, my brain had enough. When I start to "slip" back into the old life too much or get comfortable, I start remembering or even getting a slight sense of what that experience was, and correct the course back to normalcy. My nature didn't change, but I self induced some kind of watch dog I guess, that forces me to stay at a certain level inside the realm of normalcy, beyond just basic employment.

You're not doomed.

>>823
Well you know, being unemployed again is only symbolic. The main issue is that I've seen too much of life, now. As a young shut-in you don't know anything about anything, while your peers keep lapping you, learning about what the breadth of life has to offer. I learned about these things too, and I should say maybe even in more ways than the average person would. We as hopeless NEETs secretly believe that there is something better waiting for us out there. But what happens when you've already been to the other side and seen that there is no escape from how you really feel about life? Living on your mother's good graces in a room or comfortable in your own mansion, you are a mere mortal trapped inside of your body and mind. I am convinced that if the meekest of the meek were able to ascend to being the emperor of the universe, they would come to the same types on conclusions. The change can't be superficial. The change can only happen when you change what's inside. But how? In this way I don't believe escaping NEETdom can be the primary goal if you really want to feel better in life and have it last.

What you described is strikingly similar to my experience as well, but only for the inertia phase of the plan as opposed to the maintenance after I escaped. It slowly bubbled up after a few years and by the end I was regularly self-harming to the point of giving myself scars on my face, so yes finally being able to break free felt real good at the time. Anyhow, I believed that I could trust it to be self-sustaining past that point and that might have been my mistake. But that doesn't even matter. I've seen life and I no longer believe in having a place in it, sadly. This could have been 19 years and the conclusion would have been the same.

Maybe I should have just taken those anti-depressants after all, huh. Maybe my hand will be forced soon. Sucks be a mental cripple if that's really what it is, but what other choice can I make now?

>>824
The number one error is believing there is a way to solve either ourselves or the hand we've been dealt. It's not what I had in mind when I left NEETdom, I knew it was over no matter what. I simply wanted to reach a state of maintenance in which I would at least not be decaying, both physically and mentally, and having to deal with the aftermath of said decay? which is feeling like you're in hell. That's it.

If that was familiar to you, I'm sure you understand the difference between not being happy in life and feeling like you're in hell. Normalfags aren't the way they are because of different experiences. Trying to be like them (at least the ones most NEETs idealize, the genuinely happy/content/unaware normalfags, not the majority too unaware to even know better) is like attempting to life like a horse to eventually turn into one.

I told you anon, there is no change, there is no hope of changing anything, neither ourselves or the world. Ultimately our feelings towards the universe should be total indifference, regardless of our experiences. If you're depressed and "tried everything" as you claimed you have, unless you're lying to yourself and others, just give up on that and seek mere maintenance to avoid unecessary anguish, because we're going to be stuck here for a while.

Biggest error a lot of NEETs make when reaching normalcy is thinking they're now normal and thus, start to value what normaloids value. You attempt to emulate them and fall into despair realizing what they care about holds no meaning to you, and the way they view things make no sense to you. Horse analogy, once again.

Just maintenance anon, it's all mere maintenance.

I can relate to this, I stopped being a NEET over a decade ago now but it happened to me, I just told them how I felt and let them be after that.
At the same time, when I was a NEET I didn't like at all when people came to me with their ideas of self improvement and health, so I understand them too.
In the end they made it too. I think simply seeing me get better helped them.
The NEET who look down on people who get out of it exist, but I don't think it's a product of being NEET, I believe they'd be as lame as non-NEET.

After finally stopping being a NEET my former friends refused the challenge of adapting to my new unavailable lifestyle, they seem to feel safer with me contained to a room, but I know more than anyone that in the events of a cataclysm the low tier computer people like me would be the first to go, i needed to train my body into something capable of enduring things in case of scarcity.

>>695
>and they begin to treat you with resentment for doing that
I think that's thing that irritates me the most dealing with some old online friends and communities.

>You have a job? normalfag you dont understand my pain
>You have irl friends? how dare you normalfag
>You have a girlfriend and you have had sex? I can't believe I was ever friends with you traitor
It's so reductive and imageboard-brain poisoned. Especially the people who write you off when you dare speak about your problems with any of those three subjects (job, friends, relationships). If these are such a silver bullet to ending neetdom and living happy, healthy lives then why isn't every "normalfag" content with their lives? There are salarymen with wives and kids inches away from suicide everyday. Neetdom in general is a luxury I couldn't afford to keep, and I changed my life path accordingly. I still get paid like shit at my job, my girlfriend left me, and my group of irl friends is always dwindling but I stay the course because I want to die with something more to my name than "prolific shitposter on an imageboard/forum".

Why? Well for one, my parents can't fund my lifestyle forever and deserve their own financial freedom as well. Two, I want to find fulfillment in life beyond a screen and chatroom/board, there's more to life than sitting in your room playing video games and reminiscing on the good ol days of the internet (because fun fact: those good ol days aren't coming back no matter how much you shitpost, troll people, harass via forums and comment sections, support podcasters and comedians who act like they know shit but don't, and elect right wing politicians who act like they cater to you for your vote). Eventually you got to take some initiative in your life and find alternatives/new hobbies to the things that once gave you joy.

My advice to you op is to just ignore those people, if they are fostering resentment to you over miniscule steps towards improvement. They clearly don't have the emotional maturity or mental clarity to see what you got really ain't shit that 70%-80% of the population don't already have and you need support from uplifting people, not those that will drag you down. These wastes of space will just degrade you Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>695
I helped a friend escaping NEETdom, but it took some scolding. I barely had my shit together myself but was functional and on the surface looked normal (even successful). It involved me having to pretty much do everything for him at the beginning, sadly. Cleaning his house/room with him (cockroaches everywhere, his case was REALLY bad), getting rid of all the cockroaches (somehow something I'm proud of because they were all gone/died after he struggled for years with them, and I forgot which chemical I used but we mixed it with sugar), filling out/calling a ton of people to get his paperwork fixed and make sure he started getting welfare (he was living with a relative with zero income), looking up jobs online and telling him exactly what to do/where to go/what to say. Despite all of that people just don't give a fuck. I despised him and I still kinda do because he gave no fuck. At least at first. When I wasn't there he wouldn't clean his house, not even the basics, he'd just join me when I was with him to do most of the work. He was too retarded/brain damaged to respond to emails/phone calls or fill out forms, anything administrative was overwhelming. Multiple times he just straight up didn't go to a job interview we secured together because at the last moment he realized "it was bad" (too far away, bad hours, etc…). That was after wasting quite some time planning it with him. On top of that he'd fall for the scammiest shit out there and wanted to join a program for some bullshit. Just 10 minutes of looking it up and I realized it wasn't worth it. At some point I had enough and just told him (with another friend) that he had to do something otherwise we'd just leave, go on with our lives and to never bother contacting us again. Somehow it worked out, but we had to get mad. He's doing fine now, he puts in a lot of effort into it. Sometimes when I go out he's invited so I see him, he's doing really fine surprisingly and his house is clean, he has a paid internship in a field that he's passionate about. But I cannot help but resent him since he basically acts like I did nothing. I even pay for his food because I feel bad when I see him. Nobody gave a fuck about him, his parents/brothers weren't doing shit, I'm the one who helped him out. Now that he's doing a lot better though they SOMEHOW started appearing again in his life. I just hate him and have no idea whyPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>710
Can only help them by acting like substitute parents for a bit, the same way people who escaped NEETdom did it by parenting themselves, as weird as it sounds. And that involves being hated even when you're doing (or at least trying) to help/do the right thing because you're making him (the NEET) feel uncomfortable and he has to lash out on whatever he can (you, in that case).

Some NEETs make the mistake of thinking that beyond NEETdom is potentally some kind of salvation beyond pain, like a happy ending to a movie, in which your struggles aren't really struggles and you're living on auto pilot with far less trouble/stress than them. It's the same error a lot of people make (when I graduate/find a job/find a wife, my real life will start). So they resent you because you try to lecture them while being in that little paradise of yours (in their mind).

Personally, my personal experiences made me realize it's the opposite. The better I'm doing, and the better the people I see/frequent outside are doing, the more demanding life is, the more stressful and problematic it gets.

Escaping NEETdom out of a selfish mindset is very hard. You start realizing alternatives out there aren't pain free enclaves with a smooth sailing. You escape NEETdom with others in mind, from what I witnessed. Not wanting to be a burden anymore. Or potentially financially helping somone. Or becoming an inspiration to other NEETs.

Unless you're super delusional, then maybe you can do it for your own interests. People who only care about themselves will remain NEETs, that's just how it is. The way out begins with someone or something else in mind.

I definitely can relate with feeling like a NEET and being a member of society. I used to feel that way in school.

A few years later, Im a NEET. Wondering if I should end it all.

You probably wont read this, but how are you doing now?

Interestng pic,

>I feel dread every time I hear the microsoft teams notification sound.

painful pits in my stomach the moment i imagine -work-meat-space lol

Don't end it, your picture selection is a banger and after all your end would be another useless action in a line of useless actions that brought you here.
How about this: There are evil gods scheming against you and the way to beat them is to fight against their influence and go out.

That was 5 years ago. OP, what have you done? Did you go back to being a NEET? Did you get a different job? Do you feel at peace?

>>798
…was it like, a fetish thing?

also lmaoooo losers look my tiger even has a little hole in his back for storing chopsticks or stationery bet yours doesnt

>>800
Holy shit I wish I had one of those

>>801
haha you never will though broke ass nigga haha

She sounds like she has avoidant personality disorder. The splitting and coming back thing alongside aggression is telltale of it. I don’t need to write you paragraphs to just tell you to split forever. I was in a relationship with with an avoidant for 7 years and then when she grew enough in life to not need me anymore she brutally left me for dead, and abused
me the whole way through for 5 out of those 7 years. If you yourself are an avoidant work on it, seriously, go meditate and get therapy it will ruin your life and everyone else’s who ever comes in contact with you romantically. If you’re not an avoidant and have been dealing with this person for years, fluctuating between anxious panic attack at her leaving and loveful bliss constantly I truly feel for you. People in normal relationships don’t understand how hard it is.

>>814
I have an update. It's been almost two months since we've split. I've left her final message unread. Just glad to have removed myself from the whole thing after constant disappointments.

>People in normal relationships don’t understand how hard it is.
Yeah it's been a real workout and ultimately pointless. I'm sorry it happened to you too, 7 years? Are you in a relationship now? How have you recovered (or are recovering)?

>>807
love the way you immediately made this about yourself

>>808
Of course you love it, because there's nothing wrong with it and is in fact spot on. Thank you for appreciating it.

OP is asking for advice, talking about my personal experience to use as example is perfectly fair, especially when I specify precisely that when I say my experiences would probably not work on OP.

I also love your response. I love the part where you discard half of the post that doesn't speak about my experience at all just so you can say I make it about me.

I love the use of the word "immediately" as well, because I don't start talking about my experience until the last part of my post.

>>809
you write like lair4anon lol

>How do you guys make friends?
Idk honestly. it kinda happens in social events or online in groups chat, another (yet virtual) social gathering.
I don't have many close friends. got lucky enough to keep contacts and stick with childhood friends. these are the first ones i can consider close. and then the next ones are old internet friends from imageboards that we happen to have stuck around with eachother for a long time. We are all in the same group chat, but (I) have limited 1:1 talks privately with them. only a few i talk to regularly. and that's it. that's my friend circle.
there's other people i know, but i'd be more comfortable calling them acquaintances at best. details about them are fuzzy at best. Humans can only properly keep up with so few friends, you know?

>I really don't want to invest a lot of time and effort into new friendships just so they can let me down years later too. I don't know what to do.
See, the thing is that forming these connections and maintaining them, for me, never felt like it required actual effort. I don't think it should, for anyone, either. it felt like i was passively participating in building a friendship, while i am doing this whole socializing thing. that last part is what drains my battery and makes me go reclusive to do my own things. I wanna play a team game? Well let's grab a couple folks that wants to, too. the purpose is to play the game and i'm creating a connection in the process. Not always, but sometimes it passively happens.
(I used that example like I still do all of that myself, but the truth is that I don't do that anymore. I used to do it when I was younger playing competitive games. I much prefer to stick to myself nowadays…)

It also helps to be a regular at some place or online space. to be somewhat known by other regulars. these are your acquaintances with who one of em may (finally) click with you and that's when they'll go from acquaintance to a friend. that kind of connection also happens at a job. (I understand where I am posting this to, but in the interest of being comprehensive and sharing my experiences : yeah. it's pretty easy to create acquaintances at a job.)

ig tl;dr : be a regular somewhere. in meatspace or on the wired. it'll just happen.
as for your friends atm : don't think too hard about it. no need to cut contacts if you don't gotta. You'll find folks that align bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>805
i'm really sorry to hear that. i've had similar experiences i think, but not on the level you're talking about.

i guess i'm "friends" with the social workers. and i know some actually kind of cool discord trannies. but making friends irl is beyond me. it's especially egregious to be an uber zoom zoom in that kind of situation i think; you mentioned how your friends were callous and irony-poisoned, which is something i've dealt with too (although ime it's moreso that they simply have no connection to the world or self-awareness of their place in it as opposed to being dedicated to destroying those who do).


i don't really have any advice, sorry, but i wish you the best of luck. sorry for sounding pretentious haha

You're confusing healthcare and institutions

>>783
In my experience they are the same.

>>718
please help me with some realistic perspective. right now i just feel like everything is skate 3 ragdoll physics

>>721
>ive been suffering from extremely bad head pressure/headache for years
I had a bad pressure headache for two days once and I went to the doctor and they told me that it's a pressure headache and I was able to fix it easily.
Just a reminder that if something is hurting and you can afford it, go to the doctor. Pressure headaches are easy to fix if you're healthy otherwise. Even if whatever is hurting you doesn't appear lethal, you shouldn't be suffering for so long without aid…
>inb4 only people who can't afford it wouldn't go to the doctor
Some people will try to sit anything out. Don't do that. Try to find the cause, whether it's physical or psychological or try to find something that helps.
Saying this as someone who has been sitting something out because I don't want to go to the doctor but I'm at a point where it's so bad, I think I'll have to go…

>>759
thanks for the reply

hmm

I didn't know that there were people in the same situation as me out there. It makes me feel better.
I've been having trouble finding my way out of this due to my own personality. I tend to overshare, and can't read social situations, so my interactions are weird most of the time. It's like I can't help it XD
And that's also a reason I haven't been able to stay in any job. My akwardness just floats to the surface and makes me ruin everything.

And now my body hurts due to some medical complications. So, it sucks.

But at least programming is cool, and cyberpunk, and I'm learning a new language! So it's not so bad I guess.

Anyway, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone. I mean, it's not the best place to be in, but… At least is less bad when

>>675

I have no clue if you're still on here. I haven't posted on here since like…2014.

Would you essentially be describing rumination/perseveration? From what I've read from other neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism), SSRIs can help with ruminating.

My issue was for a long time, I didn't realize most of my issues were due to ruminating. I was too focused on the things that would make me ruminate in the first place that I didn't made the connection until many years later.

Nobody should be taking SSRIs. They turn people into p-zombies. Every mass shooter of the past fifty years has been on SSRIs. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
Seconded, I've seen what that garbage can do to people

Nobody should be having gay furry sex. It turns people into :3-zombies. Every autist of the past fifty years has had gay furry sex. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
I agree with the sentiment to some degree, but I don't think they make every single person a zombie. It's hyperbolic. The issue isn't that SSRIs are useless, its that theyre over prescribed and general modern medicine around mental health is still pretty early in its infancy.

The shooters and similar are usually people who while maybe have mental illness, are more a product of their environment. Someone just going on a spree shooting just because isn't really a common thing. Instead it's usually people radicalized or just giving into their delusions and regardless of any of that, have failing support systems.

A big thing for me is that most medicine is far behind as well as most the time mental health professionals ignore the actual contextual issues someone faces and generalizes. An incel that goes on to commit mass murder isn't the same as someone whos delusional from schizo disorders. But almost everyone regardless of your issues, will be treated the same by a doctor as the first steps. Even with therapy its like this thou can vary a bit more. Generally thou, in the west at least, CBT therapy is the first choice automatically. This can be detrimental to many people because its focusing on fixing your actions more than anything else. And like someone who experienced massive child abuse being told to just fix their own actions can lead to horrific outcomes for their wellbeing. Just to give an example.

>>698
I can’t stand being outside I feel like I don’t belong there.

I really don’t know what i want to do in life i literally model myself off fictional characters all i do is spend time in my room do you have any suggestions on how to get better and sorry for the way i write this post its my time here and im still trying to learn

Nothing ever gets better. Wish I could work up the courage to kill myself.

>>766
fiv enight fredy

Could be worse, you could go blind and become unable to escape in the first place. Be grateful even if you think it's the the of the world because there is no bottom to how bad it can actually get