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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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The rules have been updated, effective immediately. Please review them. Specifically rules 6, 7, and 8 have changed or been added, and two guidelines have been removed.
Updated again to ban political ideology and imagery completely.

File: 1582818072923.png (502.12 KB, 600x350, getting-a-job-600x350.png)

 No.1[Reply]

Since it's sometimes difficult to have a conversation about trying to exit the NEET lifestyle in /hikki/ without it getting derailed, I have created this new board for such conversations.

If you are trying to go back to school or get a job, or if you've exited NEETdom a while ago but are still having problems, this is now the place to talk about it.


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 No.34[Reply]

just when I was turning my life around a global pandemic hits
how are you living through the covid madness, bros? I still gotta commute to work lmao
23 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.107

tldr >>106
saya will not come

 No.108

>>89
I've came back to these websties only since corona-chan.

I was slowly improving things, studying etc. but this covid-19 has sent be back to my worst days of a NEET depressive.

 No.112

File: 1594961089741.png (1.59 MB, 742x960, 1364637703868.png)

>>107
>>105

Nice to see you again as well! Thank you for the kind words, they mean more than you know. I've been having no luck on the job front either lately…hope things change for us both. Ugh.

>>108
Yeah, me as well. I've been worse lately with the discovery of a new game that my brain wants to wring all the happiness out of while it still can. Hang in there, anon. I hope things look up for you soon.

>>106
>>107
I guess I don't understand what you mean by this. Could you elaborate?

 No.113

>>112
Oops, wrong reply order. I'm too lazy to fix it.

 No.114

File: 1596145474060.png (2.41 MB, 1920x1080, eva222.PNG)

after more than half a year NEETing again, being 30 now, they told me today I somehow got a job for some Linux/IT positon I have no idea about, all my life I have been job hopping to the next possible NEETdom, it's suspicious they even considered me, now I am wondering how shit the job must be

getting wasted on whiskey now, still one month left in freedom, covid did not work well enough it seems



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 No.110[Reply]

Post here whenever you make a good step. Today I talked to some old friends from school, one hour either side of pressing send was absolute hell but everything after that was almost hilariously easy and I had a good time.

 No.111

>>110
I'm getting a driver's license (at 26…) and I'm going to get trained to become a security guard after 13 years of hikidom (with a few non-hiki periods in between). But still I'm not thrilled about it and knowing that there's a probability of 99.9% of staying alone all my life due to me being INTP, being very socially awkward and the current state of females doesn't help.
I'll just keep going and see what happens.



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 No.64[Reply]

For me, it was a mental breakdown which struck right at the cusp of becoming an adult, when I was 14 and on holiday with my parents. I had just left secondary school and so was approaching adulthood, and I broke down on holiday and fell so quickly ill that I felt like I was going to die. I cried holding the hands of my family as I felt the darkness was coming in, I felt certain I was dying.

But I survived, and fell into a vicious cycle of anguish and torment which has taught me the meaning of suffering. I now feel like I can only relate to people who have suffered.

So the question I want to start this thread with is: what made you withdraw? What circumstances in your life led to you shutting the blinds on society and taking to your bed? If you want to recover from being withdrawn, then what made you ill in the first place?

 No.65

I had some problems socializing since I was in pre-school when I was only 5, but I had to change school when I was 11 and this new school I went to was full of wannabe thugs, one guy who studied in the class right next to mine was killed in a bottle fight in the same year.

I was beaten by said thugs mercilessly lots of times but the worst of it was when I was 13, starting back then I isolated myself, when I was 17 I found out 2 of my classmates were arrested for beating a tire repairman to death just for the hell of it.

I began working I was 23 but I improved very slowly, only when I was 29 I could say I became semi-functioning. Brb being surrounded by wannabe thugs and real deal killers was no good for my mind.

 No.109

Not sure, feels like I was always like this. But looking at it realistically there would have been things in my childhood that precipitated it. Even from an age as early as five years I had a reputation among my parents and teachers as a gifted child and I had a dim awareness that the other kids around me were all somehow dumb. The awareness was dim because I did not really connect with my peers. Things stayed like that until the years leading up to me entering high school, where I started to notice that everyone around me seemed to be growing up and maturing faster than I was, and I began to fear that they would overtake me socially. That was probably what did it. I remember crying when year seven was over, knowing that things would never be comfortable in that way again.



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 No.67[Reply]

For five years I've been slowly decaying: I've lost my health, dropped University, twice, and my relationships with my family is in shatters. Also what bothers me is that people I knew (I don't have any contacts left) now have good jobs, some of them their own families, while I still simply just run away from all problems I encounter.

I tried to do something with it so many times, but it never really worked out. I'm not sure whether anything can be done now, but I can try one more time.

To change the pace I will go to a local library tomorrow, so I can be closer to other people, will spend some time learning (or doing) something actually useful and will try to build up courage to make up with my family.
9 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.97

>>96
Good luck, OP. I'm rooting for you!
Very nice images of Rakka btw.

 No.98

File: 1592492616475.jpg (33.99 KB, 520x295, 12332456260984.jpg)

>>97
Thank you! The second day in library was even more productive than the first one, well it is still a long way from what other people call "Productive", but I'm happy anyway.

I also found a nice job place I would try to apply for, right after I finish writing this torrent-client, or at least writing its core logic.

Headaches are a little bit worrying though - I also started having side-effects from the drag I'm taking to ease up the pain, so I think I should make a break from them, maybe even visit a doctor, I'm not sure.

How was your day?

 No.99

File: 1592510447438.gif (870.24 KB, 2000x1094, 19529859194.gif)

>>98
This sounds great, keep it up!
Slow and steady improvement, take your time, quality over quantity.
Please take your health seriously, visit a doctor. The headaches surely hamper you.

My day was alright, thanks for asking. Got a few negative e-mails but had some other pleasant things.
Especially the fact that my cat recovered, I was so afraid she would die.

 No.100

>>99
> Got a few negative e-mails
It seems hard to have many social contacts, unless I misunderstand something. Why not simply block those people?

> my cat

How old is she, if I'm not intruding too much!

Today I had to leave my library too early for silly reasons when I convinced myself that I left the water running, which I didn't, and at home I wasn't able to continue focusing on studying, even though I really tried to not get distracted, which is just impossible. I wonder how other people can do it.

 No.101

>>100
> It seems hard to have many social contacts, unless I misunderstand something.
They are no social contacts, unfortunately I have zero of those.
I tried to apply for a different job because I dislike my current one but all of the mentioned negative e-mails were rejections.

> How old is she, if I'm not intruding too much!

It's fine :3
She is 16, quite old for a cat.
The vet told me she would most likely die but thanks to some pills she is doing fine now.
I have to feed her those every morning from now on, else she is getting sick again.

> I wonder how other people can do it.

Do you need any devices to study?
Else I would try to turn them off and put them away.
Furthermore when I had to study I usually rewarded myself with something afterwards and didn't do anything fun before.



File: 1586790580511.gif (2.26 MB, 288x540, 1465848663288.gif)

 No.59[Reply]

there's this girl I'm seeing that's 10 years older than me. she's the first girl I've made out and fondled with. she's alright, and I like her, but (I suppose this comes with our rather significant age difference) she's too forward and horny all the time and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I ain't even ready to have sex yet

where and how can I meet girls *my* age (this is what I'd wager marked our differences) that are reserved, quiet and introverted like me? I'm into manga, videogames and writing, not sure if it matters

I don't even know how to deal with women. getting a chance with this girl was mostly pure luck. we hardly knew each other, flirted a little bit on social media and then we met up and stuff. since it's not going as smoothly as I expect, I think trying other methods would be a good idea
some friends suggested clubbing after this whole pandemic crap ends, but it's not really my scene
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.75

Fuck her in the ass.
Also who cares about her being ten years older.
You complain about her being too horny?
Fuck that

 No.76

>>75
Not everyone has the sex drive of a 16 year old.

 No.91

>>76
I still do

 No.92

Have you tried talk to her about it? That's how fully capable adults work out relationships I'm told. I wouldn't know myself but it looks like it works, like, 50% of the time.

 No.93

>>92
agree with you anon. if op is being really romantic with her already he should probably just tell her (gently) that he'd like to wait a little bit. good luck op



File: 1589145675698.jpg (13.98 KB, 300x300, b8686bcd-2fa1-4763-baed-b4….jpg)

 No.80[Reply]

Growing up I was never put into school. I was not homeschooled either. My cognitive ability is quite limited. I can't do the simplest of math, and my handwriting looks like it was done by a 6 year old. Of course, I have very little social skills because of this, and being around people gives me anxiety. I have no life experience or skills at all.
I think this was all my mothers plan, to make a bird who would never leave her nest. That might sound like a paradise for some NEETS, but when your Mother is controlling and manipulative, and your Father is raging and violent, you cannot help but want to get away from them.

I don't know if I could ever make it in the world on my own since my Mother does everything for me. She even speaks for me whenever someone tries to talk with me. My entire life I've just felt like a lapdog.
Ideally, the next step for me to get out of here would be to study for a drivers license, but I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated, and forgetting everything I just read. Even if I could do it, it's not like I could get a car anyway. Is it even possible for someone like me to get out of being a NEET? What can I do?
From what I know, all the online jobs require some sort of skill.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.83

>>82
Google*

 No.84

>Growing up I was never put into school
isn't that illegal? anyway, you could start with learning basic math

 No.85

Regarding the fact that you have trouble reading books… I know someone irl with the same problem, he loses attention/interest really fast. So, his solution was to read 3 books at the same time: he picked the first one, read 2 pages, picked the second, read 2 pages and so on, alternating between the books. He is quite successful with this technique.

I also recommend you to search about the dopamine detox method, it can help you if you get depressed trying to study something or doing other activities that gives you no pleasure.

Watching online classes on YouTube is also really good.
And remember to write what you learn on paper, so you can train your calligraphy and memory. The human brain never loses it's capacity to learn, even when you get older.

And… think about your interests, is there a hobby relating to what you like? A subject to study? I'm sure there is at least one…

And if it's possible and you feel comfortable asking this… you could ask your parents to go to an "after school" class (Something like arts&crafts or game making) after the quarantine… sorry if you've already tried this…

Lastly, retail jobs might be a possibility… some of them don't require experience and I've even heard of anxious people working on them.

I hope you're ok. You can escape.

 No.87

>>85
This is all probably good advice, but…

>ask your parents

No OP, TELL your parents. You're not a kid anymore. I have a sort of similar problem with my mum so I know it's not easy, but you need to be assertive and stop asking permission for things you shouldn't need it for.

 No.88

>and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored
When I started reading (years after I learned how to read), I could only read 1 sentence at a time before resting. When I would read a sentence, I would read each word separately, remembering (recalling, or (learning and) memorizing) each possible meaning of that word. Only when I am sure that I have comprehended that piece, I continue to the next piece. I still read the same way, but (1) I read faster, because I can scan for pieces that I already comprehend, and (2) I can read longer, because I have more intellectual stamina.
I think that this is why many childrens' books are picture books: each page has only a few sentences, and a beautiful picture. Take it easy: read less, and ensure you comprehend it before continuing.
More concretely, you can try arranging your environments or habits to include more literature. Example: choose music with good lyrics: L'America by Jim Morrison, I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson, Matilda Mother by Syd Barrett,, Learn the lyrics of your faovurite songs so that you can ponder the songs' meanings when you're away from your music player. It'll be easy to memorize, because you listen to it many many times.



File: 1583892327862.png (591.4 KB, 1644x1268, 1569868812734.png)

 No.27[Reply]

Since I graduated from University in June I've been planning on going back to do a Master's or a PhD. For what it's worth, I graduated with (I think) the highest grade of my year from a pretty bad university, but I also did a community-related EC and was the recipient of a research scholarship in my second year.
I spent a few months putting together the best applications I could, but made the mistake of aiming too high and only applying for a few difficult to get in to universities. So far I've heard back from 2 of the places I applied, both were rejections, and I'm not feeling too confident about the other 3.
Right now I'm panicking, because it's become abundantly clear that I've wasted the last 8 months and several hundred dollars doing basically nothing. I told myself I'd get an article written but I've been completely unable to get anything done because of all the uncertainty.
In a last-ditch effort, I'm putting together a PhD application to send to places that are still accepting applicants and might be able to supervise it. But, again, I'm not too hopeful about this.
I really do not know what to do if this doesn't pan out. I can't find any jobs that I'm not either over or under qualified for.
Someone suggested I become an assistant language teacher, but I am not comfortable at all with living alone somewhere where I don't speak the language after being a recluse for over a year.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.31

File: 1583947716100.png (440.77 KB, 1000x1000, Himiko_Yumeno_Sprite.png)

> I can't find any jobs that I'm not either over or under qualified for.
In that case I would aim for a position, where I was overqualified, but still had the opportunity to learn or get promoted to a better position.

I've studied computer science and all I do now is making corporate websites and interfaces for database maintenance.

Boredom won't kill you.

 No.32

>>30
My parents ended up talking me out of two opportunities that I wanted to apply for because they thought the location would be dangerous, so I think in the future I probably shouldn't listen to them.

>>31
It seems like the vast majority of jobs here are either dead-end minimum wage jobs, or ones that require a different degree (engineering or healthcare).

>Boredom won't kill you.

I wish I was joking, because it's absolutely pathetic (and you're more than free to call me a retard), but I did a 5 day data-entry position for "work experience" a few years ago. I hated it and by the second day tried to get into a traffic accidents so I wouldn't have to do it anymore. I would like to stay far, far away from any job like that.

 No.44

It's looking like I've been rejected by everywhere and to be completely honest I really don't know what to do.
I've missed the deadlines for PhD funding and it looks like most of them want a Master's degree anyway.
While I could still apply for master's degrees, my understanding is that they're generally (in my field) quite useless. The reason I applied for where I did was because they offer a doctorate with a stipend and typically only accept people that did their Master's there. That and they're good names to have on a CV.
At the moment my parents are encouraging me to apply for Master's degrees that, in all likelihood, won't benefit me and don't justify the cost. I just feel a bit overwhelmed, really.
Despite saying that I'm thinking about getting a job and writing articles in my free time so I'll have a better application for next year (and applying for more places, and generally being better off financially) it seems like they don't want me to do that, and I don't really know why.
This whole corona thing hasn't really helped much with the job hunt, so that's probably going to set me back a few months.
On the upside I have an article that's about ready for publication now, and I suppose I could ask my (former) supervisor if she has any advice when I send it off for review.
Thanks for reading my blog.

 No.49

>>44
Reading this I really sympathise with you. I was actually in a Masters program for Mathematics, and I am *so* glad that I went against the advice of my professors and parents and anyone else other than the 2 friends my age I have, and I dropped out of the program. As it happens, the program itself was in a very fluid state and I wasn't getting good research opportunities or even the choice of what to do my thesis on.
Anyways, to make a long story short I decided to get into a community college Network Security program, which might seem like going back down a couple of levels, and it is I guess, but since there are actual tangible certificates you can aim for, it seems more realistic as well to actually land a job afterwards.
I honestly couldn't figure out what job I could do with a Masters in Maths other than maybe Actuarial, and I didn't want to do that (and it doesn't require the Masters Degree anyways)… no one could tell me! So anyways TL;DR certifications and trade schools are actually often better if you want to actually get a job.
As a bonus the teachers and students I have met are mostly nice people as well.

 No.79

>>49
This reply has been on my mind since it was posted, but I've had a hard time coming up with a response. I think what I'd like to say is that while trade school is probably a good idea, it seems a bit weird to go for when I plan on going back into academia as soon as possible.

As an update, one of the universities I applied for got back to me today and I've been waitlisted, and I suspect I stand a decent chance of getting accepted. The only problem is there's no way I could afford it without a (frankly, predatory) loan.
I'm leaning on rejecting it, and sending off stronger applications next year, and hopefully getting some financial aid. I guess the question is if another year is worth $30,000 or so in aid?
Whether I accept the offer or not, it has given me a lot of confidence knowing that I've been considered by the tenth best university in my field. I've had a lot of self-doubt these last few months, but maybe I'm not as bad as I thought. Hopefully this can be the motivation I need to get that second article written, and maybe take some online courses.



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 No.58[Reply]

I was always extremely introverted in adolesence, chronic pain at 16 led me to become entirely reclusive.

After leaving high school age 18 I went full on NEET 3 years, then done a year of college before University. I had more chronic health issues then, but despite all that my first year of University I actually was able to socialise regularly.

The second year I even got a girlfriend, but poor communication ended it, which kind of sucks. I feel I have no real direction moving forward now as I've been able to pass as normal. For some reason, it kicked my motivation out since I question why put in all the hard work if results are minimal?

I'm struggling to get my motivation back :( my life was almost going like an anime in terms of dating the first girl I spent time with 1 on 1 in my entire life at that point. It took an incredible amount of self-discipline to get results and I feel buuurned!

 No.74

If you fuck that girl you're going to REINCARNATE

 No.78

>>74
Autistically I didn't want to have sex without feeling sure, as to not lead her on.

I think this was because I was insecure in hindsight and too stubborn.



File: 1580868404366.gif (3.46 MB, 200x200, 1494539782776.gif)

 No.2[Reply]

so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?

 No.14

>>2
I used to work at a call center for 3 years it was hell get out ASAP.

 No.15

>>14
What did you not like about it?

 No.16

I slowly got accustomed to making calls and now I have a good job performance
but…
disliking my job makes me feel very guilty
all my coworkers and employers are friendly. my work is not very complex. the workload is part-time, and I have an almost decent pay
but talking to people, having to go outside of my house and commuting for hour and a half FUCKING SUCKS
IT SUCKS
why can't appreciate this opportunity? I've been a neet since I became of legal age. I never had any sort of income besides from my parents' allowance. I'm learning to socialize and work with others… I don't understand
>>14
pls elaborate. I do want to work in other fields, and plan to switch careers, tho
like I said, sales is just not my pond

 No.19

Play online games with voice chat. Shit talk with strangers until you're more comfortable with it. Even play VR chat and do the same. Expose yourself to enough verbal communication and it will become less stressful.

 No.56

>>2
Have some faith in yourself; if that fails, tell yourself to snap out of it, without making yourself feel worse.



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