/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?

I surely do. After leading a "normal and promising" life, after having many friends and having been through many relationships, everything went south a while ago. Since then, day by day, I'm getting increasingly life-weary, disillusioned, cold and cynical.

I couldn't be bothered with people anymore, as I know, from experience, that they will eventually stab me in the back.

I couldn't be bothered with hobbies anymore, as all the things I used to enjoy are now tainted with painful memories.

I couldn't be bothered with languages anymore, as the country I'd like to move to will never issue me a residency permit anyway. Gangsters, petty criminals and unskilled laborers from neighbour countries keep on swarming there, but they are okay with that. It's me (and a few others who are genuinely interested in their country and their culture) who they have to protect their nation from.

>I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation.

I believe it has nothing to do with how social you are. There are many hikikomori who are excellent artists/musicians, and are really productive. And here I am, the polar opposite of what you described, yet, I'm in the same place as you are.

>I basically buy enough food for a few weeks, store everything inside the fridge (which is just next to my bed) and don't go out of the bed until I start feeling really hungry.

I can't really relate to this, as I still go around normally (and without my daily evening swim in the sea, I would probably go totally insane), but I feel like I'm on my own among all the people out there. I don't know how to describe, it's like walking among a herd of sheep. I effortlessly look everyone in the eyes, but I see right through them. I merrily walk through the biggest crowd, but I don't notice/understand what they say. If someone would try to pick on me, I'd mop the floor with them, but because it's apparently written on my face how much I don't care anymore, nobody dared to give me any trouble.

>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?

I don't. If something impulsively comes, I go for it, but otherwise I can't be bothered with forcing myself doing anything, as it won't work.

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?
Yea sometime I find it hard to even wake up sometimes. Much less do anything else. I dont feel and have never felt a need to have a girl friend. I dont feel the need to socialize so I dont.
>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
I dont it finds me. If I think something looks cool or interesting I look into it.

my motivation is really sporadic and heavily influenced by people, sometimes ill meet someone in a game, talk to them for awhile and meeting them irl and having them be proud of me and thatll fuel me for a week or two then i lose interest in them and in what i was doing, this happens all the time even with people thatll just smile and say hello except i maladaptive daydream about them, im really lonely i guess

>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?

I do and it is an inescapable nightmare. The only discernible sense of passion I have for anything is for developing shitty rudimentary RPG Maker games in some vain attempt to make myself understood, since every other artistic medium I dabbled in didn't interest me enough to make me keep working within them.

Any small amount of time I spend developing a game is immediately trumped by the many hours I spend half-heartedly watching the same gay baby shows, mindlessly consuming shitty youtube videos by personality's I despise, and sleeping.

With the threat of having to gain employment soon or face homelessness, I realize that i'll have even less time to spend on the one thing I kind of give a shit about.

I used to be able to do hobby stuff… those days are behind me. I just can't force myself to do anything semi-productive anymore, and if I can, I can't focus at all so it's no use. my brain is literally broken.

same here. i just lay in bed all time.

I haven't posted on here for years but yeah

>grow up with no dad, mom went through like 5 divorces and married betamale salaryman who never loved me and I never respected

>have literally no chances of making friends ever irl, one friend I make is fullblown incel self-destructive nightmare living off his (more) supportive parents now

>make friends online (including here a lot when i was like 16 actually, but that's YEARS ago now)

>smart and know how to talk to people irl but my mother literally never let me go to an actual school

>when she did it was an alt highschool for people who had already been convicted of possession or had kids at 16

>meet people here but nobody stable, have online gf who got abused as much that doesn't stick around

>get older and nothing ever changes despite having wagie jobs off and on

>can't stand living at the bottom of society despite being smarter than average and KNOWING for a fact I could've gotten somewhere otherwise

>borderline unemployable and alone despite having online friends who live me/would be with me

plan on trying to dig myself out from under, enlist or sudoku

>>5717
Can I ask what brought you back here?

>>5718
Nostalgia

btw i met my first ubuufag irl this year, that was a good time actually

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?
Entirely. I've been isolating my self for practically my whole life so no motivation is probably a result of that or something. Also like you said, even if I did find something I want to do or enjoy doing, I'd stop at most 3 days later so I barely get anything done. The only thing that gets me out of my bed is so I can go on my pc and browse image boards. It's absolutely horrible and completely inhibits me from doing anything in the future because I can't even think of what I'd even like to do.

>With friends, I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation
I also have this issue. I never start conversations with anyone so friendships completely rely on the other person to approach me, which rarely happens. Even if someone did, I'm too boring of a person for them to want to be around me because I add and do nothing and barely know how to communicate properly anyways.

>I have no idea why but I start feeling uncomfortable around them at the point that I start avoiding them…
I've never related to something as much as this before. I did this all throughout grade school and still do it know, even with my parents. But I can never understand why I do this. Maybe it's because I never really wanted to be friends with most people irl in the first place but I also didn't have the guts to say no to them and then look weird. I'm not exactly sure but do you feel a similar way?

>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
I don't. If I do it's just a sudden impulse then it's gone in a couple hours.

>Have you ever been in a similar situation?
I'm in the same boat, actually. Almost all of my motivation seems to have gone when I was bullied out of high school. I would have on and off bursts of self-motivation, but they don't stick around for more than 6 months.
I don't have motivation to find anyone or do anything as a proper hobby because I don't find a point in any of those things. If I have everything I need to be alive, I'm okay.
>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
If I wanted to have anything that even resembled self-motivation nowadays, I'd have to daydream impossible situations and delude myself into thinking any of it is within my reach.

I can't will motivation. Sometimes I might get a short spurt after a breaking point, but it never lasts that long. The only thing that worked consistently was when I had real plans for the future that I truly believed in. As for how they come to be, I have no idea. All of mine were based on violent desperation meeting opportunity and jumping on it like I would die if I didn't (coming from a place of burning desire for change rather than force). From there motivation is a natural byproduct for me.

Unfortunately I've hit a wall myself in the last year. Struggling to find something to believe in again, wasting away on the internet again, etc.

I have absolutely no motivation to do anything, and I have no friends.

I thought about it and it's because when I try to do things I always ask myself "why" I even want to do them, and I come to the conclusion that it's meaningless so I don't do it. When I think about it, all I want to do is fill this overwhelming emptiness inside me, but I have no idea how to, and I honestly don't think it's possible, and for this reason I have almost no motivation because nothing has any meaning to me.

I think alot about why I feel so empty and what I can do to stop it, and it feels really hopeless even though I have some ideas. Maybe it's because I have no friends and no outlets to express myself. All I can ever think about is how to express what's inside me so I don't have to bottle it inside anymore, but I just can't. Sometimes when consuming certain media i'll have a painful yearning feeling in my chest, and i'm unsure what it means. It feels like vague, insatiable kind of feeling, and like it can never be filled. And if nothing will ever satisfy me, then nothing will ever be worth doing. That's why I have no motivation, I think.

And it's probably for that same reason that I have no friends. No friendships ever match up to my ideals, so I don't see the point of them and just stop bothering. Especially when I invitably start to get even more uncomfortable interacting with them because it forces me to confront my self hatred. Insatiable insatiable insatiable insatiable insatiable insatiable insatiable.

>>7347
>fill this overwhelming emptiness inside me, but I have no idea how to, and I honestly don't think it's possible
The first step is to say, "It is possible."

Because it is.
And, in a recursive fashion, the reason for the dead feeling is because you made a wall for yourself.
Break the well: there is a solution out there.
Either seek it or let the abyss swallow you; in either you'll find blemishes of God

>>5583
Well, for me I find it's not so much about finding motivation as it is about resisting stress. I don't have issues finding things to do, there's just a disconnect between thinking about what I want done and actually going and doing that. I'm able to start doing things occasionally now, sometimes procrastinating for weeks, maybe months, but generally not years anymore. It seems that exposing myself to manageable stress related to my tasks lets me gradually build up stress tolerance and an ability to act in face of it rather than collapse and lie in bed all day. It still happens, but I think less frequently.

As for getting uncomfortable around new acquaintances, maybe you want to deepen your relationship but are unwilling to reveal something about yourself to them that would make you feel vulnerable.

>>5603
Youre tiring yourself out that why you lose interest

>>7347
>when I try to do things I always ask myself "why" I even want to do them
Don't. Fucking. Do this. Asking why you want to do something sucks the fun out of it before you can even start. No one will remember you or anything you did in 300 years - a statement that could reinforce the lack of motivation or destroy it, depending how you take it. Even if it's just finishing an anime series, sit down and watch. Don't think - just process input.
>Maybe it's because I have no friends and no outlets to express myself.
You have a computer and probably a text editor. Just open a .txt file and write about anything. You're a pretty good writer on here, so you're probably good offline. Start a journal.

>>7429
Hello, looks like you got here a little late lol

Everything you said was great advice. It may seem trivial, but something as little as changing your mindset about your life can be big difference when you're feeling aimless and shitty.

Back in 2019, around when this post was made, I was feeling the same way as all the people here, but today my life feels exciting and I cannot wait for the next coming years. Just recently I discovered that I DO have a drive to better myself. I DO have great ambitions and goals. I DO have valuable skills that put me ahead of a lot of people. I hope the people here discovered this for themselves like I did. Admittedly, I was only 19 in 2019, so it can all be a part of growing up.

You're not going to turn your life around in one fell swoop, but it isn't a hard thing to accomplish either. It takes time and perseverance, but most importantly it takes a change in how you view yourself. A change in mindset

Sitting on image boards and sulking will not help you.

>>7432
How did you achieve that?

>>7433
I had this huge college essay typed out, but I'll just cut to the chase. In 2019, I was directionless, a shut in, friendless, had no motivation, unfit, yada yada yada.

When the pandemic hit, it blew my mind just how retarded the world was acting about a virus that 99% of people were surviving. Complying with mask mandates and social distancing guidelines that were backed by no science whatsoever. Obeying lockdown procedures like fucking cattle.

I achieved where I am now by reflecting on the world around me and seeing nothing but fucking scared idiots all around me.

I lost interest in vidya right after. Been playing for 16 years dropping all hours of my day on it. Even after I got a job, it's all I did when I wasn't working, but after seeing what I saw in people, I couldn't even bring myself to playing vidya even when I had time.

I started going out more, exercising on my own accord, slowly started eating better and found a job I was actually interested in, all on pure rage and disgust I'd experienced in the years of covid. The rage and hate eventually became love for myself and my ideals. I hold myself to a higher standard simply because the alternative was so unnerving to me at one point.

This is how I achieved my inner love. It's why I want to be better and become someone that others look up to. It all started when I realized that the people around me really are all retarded.

>>7434
Where did you go out to?
How did you find a job you like?

>>7429
>Even if it's just finishing an anime series, sit down and watch. Don't think - just process input.
I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with doing this. You can waste so much time thinking yourself out of doing something, which just leads to more inaction, causing you to fill your time with more thinking since you aren't doing anything. Lately I have revoked my thinking privileges and seeking out new experiences has become easier. Just have to be careful not to mindlessly soak in too much if you care about what you let into your mind.

Everything outside of absolute basics I cannot do. I am bored? Use the internet, gives me something to do. Hungry? Go downstairs, get food. Go down the hall to the bathroom afterwards. Anything other than these things just feels so hard to do.

I start a journal, I can’t bring myself to ever write in it consistently. Even shows are too difficult sometimes, feels like a chore to watch them sometimes. The novelty wears off.

I used to write. People have always complimented my writing skills my whole life.
I used to dick around in GIMP, editing photos into cool-looking posters or weird surrealist messes.
I used to make videos. Little skits, video game footage, montages, etc.
I used to make music. Badly, but I still tried.

Now? I just sit around all day, stuffing my face with junk food looking at the same old websites because it is slightly less boring than doing anything else.

I have a stalker family member, the stress induced from constantly having this ugly fat deluded person literally wanting to listen/watch everything I do causes me to not be able to think straight. I literally stay up nights sometimes in the bathroom hiding because our rooms are next to each other and even then he'll make attempts to step out of his room quietly and try to listen to what I'm doing

I had motivation to do several things over the past years but would just get swept away by the stress, I still strongly believe living somewhere else away from this person and these people in general would vastly improve my quality of life in ways that are unimaginable to me in this moment.

>>7436
It doesn't matter where you go, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and go somewhere. I started going to local 5national parks, beaches, dance clubs, car meets, concerts, flea markets etc. It doesn't really matter. The point is, you're exposing yourself to what you may think you aren't interested in or just stuff that makes you a little uncomfortable. Do whatever comes naturally when you get there. The only thing you cannot allow yourself to do is leave early because "This is stupid, why am I even doing this?" or "I don't even wanna be here, I'd rather be at home anyways." Ignore all that and expose yourself to the world around you. I didn't like parks and I still don't like parks, but walking around in a safe place I wasn't familiar was an experience and it led me to other things I was actually interested in, like walking through urban cities I wasn't familiar with. I know that might sound strange, but you have no idea what you'd actually like to do until you throw yourself out there.

Apply to jobs that you are just semi interested in for whatever reason. Do pizza delivery or something random. For me, I got a job at a car dealership because Joey Diaz, a guy I really admired at the time, would talk about working as a salesmen at a car dealerships on his podcast that I listened to a lot. That was the ONLY reason I applied to a dealership. I got the job as a porter, which is someone that literally just parks cars and pulls them up for customers. I learned a lot of things just being in that environment. Things I would never have learned otherwise. After working there for a while, I discovered that I have an actual interest in cars that I would never have realized had I not worked around them. For context, I never gave a shit about cars up until then.nI was a good employee, so my boss was open to training me as a mechanic. I didn't originally want to become a mechanic because I was afraid of change, but then I realized that this was a real opportunity before me that I was gonna miss out on because of misplaced fear and complacency. I snapped to my senses and pushed like fuck to get that new position and I loved it. I still love it. I ended up buying my own project car because of the skills I learned working on other cars and have met so amazing people and have made so many amazing irl friends because a mutual interest in something that I would have never found out I liked if I didn't just throw myself at the world.

Even though I love my job and my co workers, I'm in the process of gaining certifications for a much more high paying job that would be a means to an end. It's a goal that I can't wait to accomplish, but at the same time I'm trying to enjoy what's left of my experience working at this current job. It makes me sad sometimes knowing I'll be leaving soon, but I'm leaving for something better.

I don't mean to type so much, but I want to give you an example of how you can find your way just by swinging in the dark a bit. It's obvious that you want to change and you can, I promise you. Go anywhere, do anything, work any job. Make life a little difficult. Perservere. Build courage. Grow your knowledge base. Fight that you that just wants to sit around and do nothing. You've got this.

If you have more questions, I'll stick around this thread