/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?

I surely do. After leading a "normal and promising" life, after having many friends and having been through many relationships, everything went south a while ago. Since then, day by day, I'm getting increasingly life-weary, disillusioned, cold and cynical.

I couldn't be bothered with people anymore, as I know, from experience, that they will eventually stab me in the back.

I couldn't be bothered with hobbies anymore, as all the things I used to enjoy are now tainted with painful memories.

I couldn't be bothered with languages anymore, as the country I'd like to move to will never issue me a residency permit anyway. Gangsters, petty criminals and unskilled laborers from neighbour countries keep on swarming there, but they are okay with that. It's me (and a few others who are genuinely interested in their country and their culture) who they have to protect their nation from.

>I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation.

I believe it has nothing to do with how social you are. There are many hikikomori who are excellent artists/musicians, and are really productive. And here I am, the polar opposite of what you described, yet, I'm in the same place as you are.

>I basically buy enough food for a few weeks, store everything inside the fridge (which is just next to my bed) and don't go out of the bed until I start feeling really hungry.

I can't really relate to this, as I still go around normally (and without my daily evening swim in the sea, I would probably go totally insane), but I feel like I'm on my own among all the people out there. I don't know how to describe, it's like walking among a herd of sheep. I effortlessly look everyone in the eyes, but I see right through them. I merrily walk through the biggest crowd, but I don't notice/understand what they say. If someone would try to pick on me, I'd mop the floor with them, but because it's apparently written on my face how much I don't care anymore, nobody dared to give me any trouble.

>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?

I don't. If something impulsively comes, I go for it, but otherwise I can't be bothered with forcing myself doing anything, as it won't work.

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?
Yea sometime I find it hard to even wake up sometimes. Much less do anything else. I dont feel and have never felt a need to have a girl friend. I dont feel the need to socialize so I dont.
>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
I dont it finds me. If I think something looks cool or interesting I look into it.

my motivation is really sporadic and heavily influenced by people, sometimes ill meet someone in a game, talk to them for awhile and meeting them irl and having them be proud of me and thatll fuel me for a week or two then i lose interest in them and in what i was doing, this happens all the time even with people thatll just smile and say hello except i maladaptive daydream about them, im really lonely i guess

>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?

I do and it is an inescapable nightmare. The only discernible sense of passion I have for anything is for developing shitty rudimentary RPG Maker games in some vain attempt to make myself understood, since every other artistic medium I dabbled in didn't interest me enough to make me keep working within them.

Any small amount of time I spend developing a game is immediately trumped by the many hours I spend half-heartedly watching the same gay baby shows, mindlessly consuming shitty youtube videos by personality's I despise, and sleeping.

With the threat of having to gain employment soon or face homelessness, I realize that i'll have even less time to spend on the one thing I kind of give a shit about.

I used to be able to do hobby stuff… those days are behind me. I just can't force myself to do anything semi-productive anymore, and if I can, I can't focus at all so it's no use. my brain is literally broken.

same here. i just lay in bed all time.

I haven't posted on here for years but yeah

>grow up with no dad, mom went through like 5 divorces and married betamale salaryman who never loved me and I never respected

>have literally no chances of making friends ever irl, one friend I make is fullblown incel self-destructive nightmare living off his (more) supportive parents now

>make friends online (including here a lot when i was like 16 actually, but that's YEARS ago now)

>smart and know how to talk to people irl but my mother literally never let me go to an actual school

>when she did it was an alt highschool for people who had already been convicted of possession or had kids at 16

>meet people here but nobody stable, have online gf who got abused as much that doesn't stick around

>get older and nothing ever changes despite having wagie jobs off and on

>can't stand living at the bottom of society despite being smarter than average and KNOWING for a fact I could've gotten somewhere otherwise

>borderline unemployable and alone despite having online friends who live me/would be with me

plan on trying to dig myself out from under, enlist or sudoku

>>5717
Can I ask what brought you back here?

>>5718
Nostalgia

btw i met my first ubuufag irl this year, that was a good time actually

>>5583
>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?
Entirely. I've been isolating my self for practically my whole life so no motivation is probably a result of that or something. Also like you said, even if I did find something I want to do or enjoy doing, I'd stop at most 3 days later so I barely get anything done. The only thing that gets me out of my bed is so I can go on my pc and browse image boards. It's absolutely horrible and completely inhibits me from doing anything in the future because I can't even think of what I'd even like to do.

>With friends, I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation
I also have this issue. I never start conversations with anyone so friendships completely rely on the other person to approach me, which rarely happens. Even if someone did, I'm too boring of a person for them to want to be around me because I add and do nothing and barely know how to communicate properly anyways.

>I have no idea why but I start feeling uncomfortable around them at the point that I start avoiding them…
I've never related to something as much as this before. I did this all throughout grade school and still do it know, even with my parents. But I can never understand why I do this. Maybe it's because I never really wanted to be friends with most people irl in the first place but I also didn't have the guts to say no to them and then look weird. I'm not exactly sure but do you feel a similar way?

>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
I don't. If I do it's just a sudden impulse then it's gone in a couple hours.