>>5583>Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything?
I surely do. After leading a "normal and promising" life, after having many friends and having been through many relationships, everything went south a while ago. Since then, day by day, I'm getting increasingly life-weary, disillusioned, cold and cynical.
I couldn't be bothered with people anymore, as I know, from experience, that they will eventually stab me in the back.
I couldn't be bothered with hobbies anymore, as all the things I used to enjoy are now tainted with painful memories.
I couldn't be bothered with languages anymore, as the country I'd like to move to will never issue me a residency permit anyway. Gangsters, petty criminals and unskilled laborers from neighbour countries keep on swarming there, but they are okay with that. It's me (and a few others who are genuinely interested in their country and their culture) who they have to protect their nation from.
>I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation.
I believe it has nothing to do with how social you are. There are many hikikomori who are excellent artists/musicians, and are really productive. And here I am, the polar opposite of what you described, yet, I'm in the same place as you are.
>I basically buy enough food for a few weeks, store everything inside the fridge (which is just next to my bed) and don't go out of the bed until I start feeling really hungry.
I can't really relate to this, as I still go around normally (and without my daily evening swim in the sea, I would probably go totally insane), but I feel like I'm on my own among all the people out there. I don't know how to describe, it's like walking among a herd of sheep. I effortlessly look everyone in the eyes, but I see right through them. I merrily walk through the biggest crowd, but I don't notice/understand what they say. If someone would try to pick on me, I'd mop the floor with them, but because it's apparently written on my face how much I don't care anymore, nobody dared to give me any trouble.
>How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
I don't. If something impulsively comes, I go for it, but otherwise I can't be bothered with forcing myself doing anything, as it won't work.