for a couple months last year, i had someone akin to my own misaki. i didn't know them irl, only talked to them online, but i was going out relatively frequently with their help, they calmed me down and helped me out in many different ways throughout my daily life, not just when i was outside, and i thought maybe it was the road to stopping being a hikikomori. they have some similar issues though, and in march of last year they started isolating themselves from everyone, online and irl (i talk to someone who is friends with them irl). so, for months now, i've been pondering, do i move on or continue waiting? i've been waiting for a long time now, but the extent they went too for me was something i've never had before, and doubt i'll ever have again. changing their sleep schedule to mine, legitimately always there when i needed them, kept me calm and relaxed, understood me and my emotional needs, went to great lengths to cater to my emotional needs, and did a great job at catering to those needs too, did so many things with me and for me, was very loyal, etc.
so, as i said earlier in the post, do i continue waiting or move on? i'm extremely dependent on other people, but that's a whole different thing to explain in itself. due to this extreme dependency, i really cannot see myself making any progress in my life without them, and i've only gotten worse since they've left..
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Move on. You have my sympathy and i'm sorry to say this, but that person was as dependent on others as you, possible more so. They were using you as a means of feeling useful and good, kind of like Misaka, sure, but Misaka was somewhat put together despite her issues. Having a sociopathic therapist treating a sociopathic patient is a recipe for disaster and this applies to pretty much every condition. Maybe she wasn't aware of it herself, but that was the underlying motivation behind her actions. Maybe her own life took a turn for the worse or maybe she just lost interest.
You probably wont meet a person who has the same coping mechanism as her: seemingly altruistically helping out social recluses. Being more independent is the only viable solution and I wish you luck with that.
i'm not sure how i can become independent though, that's not something i've ever really experienced in my life. do you have any advice on how to be more independent?
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You're going to have to set your own goals. I don't know what you want out of life or where you plan on being in the long run. The two things I think everyone should do though is live healthily and be financially independent, which means finding a source of income. You can try finding any job you can get, or you can try to develop marketable skills like translating ability or anything that requires higher education.
You'll need to be able to get yourself to do work and advance towards your goals without the help of other people too. This means self-discipline and holding yourself accountable, which takes training to develop. Eat well, sleep enough, exercise, cut out the things in your life that distract you.
To be independent, you'll have to think for yourself too. This might seem counterintuitive, but you should read more and learn about the world and how other people think. This will give you a basis for your own opinions. Don't just passively agree with people. I don't know what your life circumstances are, but I think anybody can develop these skills with enough persistence. To be completely honest, I don't know how much faith I have in your ability to succeed considering how these are things that even I struggle with to an extent., but it's not my job to believe in you, it's yours.
I've cut myself off from most people in my life, and when I get a way to support myself fully, I'll probably cut out the rest.
But part of me wants outside people to bust down these walls and rescue me from myself. Though even if they tried, I think i'd just run away again, or drive them away from me somehow.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poKI_MY0Bkw
Maybe your friend is as hopeless or me, or maybe they aren't.