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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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New board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs, and people with school/work/reintegration issues: Ex-NEET / Recovery

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 No.6087

Have any of you ever experienced ego death? It was such a terrifying but also very eye opening experience for me. I ended up going outside for the first time in a couple of years the day afterwards. Couldn't even get my own groceries, couldn't even get near the front door… I know it's not all simply solved now, I'm still going to have some issues, but for the first time in my life I finally feel grateful to be alive, and it's such an amazing feeling. I think I'm finally on the path to escaping this hellscape of agoraphobia.

 No.6091

How did you get to experience ego death?

 No.6108

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>>6087
I've experienced ego death many times through the use of various chemicals. Psychedelics, dissociatives and the like. I was able to experience ego death from 1650ug of LSD as my first entry into drugs and felt a similar feeling, a feeling that I had finally cracked the code and that things would be great from this point on! It's been about 2 years since that experience, I've spent most of the time since in a chemical daze. You see, that feeling of bliss didn't last all that long and I was back inside my room staring at my LCD screen vacantly. That feeling that everything was going to be okay, I've abused my body and mind going after that feeling. Psychedelics, dissociatives, stimulants, benzos, research chemicals all that jazz man! But I've never come close to that feeling of like I knew it all from that one LSD trip, that blown up megalomania, the narcissism creeping in that I was a GOD in this reality.

I've been binging on ketamine for a good while now. 10 days? I don't recall. I am tired. I have experienced ego death many times anon, it's all the environment that determines if that experience is generally beneficial to you. Don't chase the feeling of contentment. There are going to be painful times ahead, face those in a clear sober state of mind. You will not find answers on DMT, LSD, shrooms, whatever that is out there. It will only amplify what is there already without your ego conflicting with your processing of that information. Relax your ego, meditate, embrace that fear and suffering. I'm a coward running away from that suffering, I will feel it ten fold for my malicious misdirection of the psyche.



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