/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

When I got out of my dad's place I weighed about 230 pounds because I picked up some terrible eating habits there that I still struggle with a bit on a daily basis. (There were a lot of other things wrong with my household growing up but this post isn't about them.) I lost a lot of that weight and I'm nowhere close to 230 pounds anymore but I'm still not the weight I'd like to be.

>>3313
>I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.
It could be genetical too. Either way, why do you skip meals, lack of time? Or any other reason you can fix? And, what's your height and weight? Try computing your BMI and see if you are okay as is or if you need to gain some weight.

Also, I think it's very important to have a healthy diet more than eating much or too little. People normally don't have that much time to work out so eating healthy helps a lot in keeping a stable weight and not destroying your heart and other organs in the process.

I went for most of my life being skinny and having trouble keeping weight on. A few things have helped a lot with this, which I'd like to recommend.

First is stress. It can both make you lose or gain weight. For me, I'm quite sure all the anxiety and other stress actually made me lose weight.

Second is not snacking all day. Just eat 3 large meals (or 2 very large ones) and no snacks. I found I was eating less but keeping weight on more easily when I did this.

Third, quality of food. Even if you can't eat much, go for stuff that's DENSE with nutrition. Nuts. Oats. Peanut butter. Seeds. Dried fruit. Real fruit juice. I put chia, sunflower seeds, linseed and raisins on my cereal every morning, and always have a peanut butter (and marmite) sandwich with it. You can even just scoop out a tablespoon of peanut butter and eat it like that alone.

Have you tried yoga? There's plenty you can do at home through youtube videos. I don't know if it would explicitly help, but some of the poses do build muscle and if you like walking for the peacefulness, it has that in common. I also personally just have fun trying to be more flexible.

im addicted to mcdonalds. i eat mcdonalds 3 times a day and nothing else. i can't even stomach other food anymore, i vomit it back up. it's just so fucking delicious and it makes me feel so good to eat it i can't stop.

>>3317
I think I have always had psychological problems with food. When I was a kid I was a picky eater and I was addicted to videogames and to a lesser extent the internet, so I would skip meals to play videogames.

Nowadays, I am a little less picky and don't play any videogames, but I still find myself skipping meals to finish work (I just started a PhD so I have an endless amount of stuff I want/need to do). Sometimes I am a little antisocial and skip meals to avoid interacting with people (I really hate when people chew with their mouth open). Also I can't cook anything besides the simplest of breakfast foods.

I am also not too wealthy and try to avoid eating outside of the house because it is expensive to do so often, but usually this can't be avoided.

Tldr, I think I am thin (extremely underweight) because of my old habits as a kid carrying over into adulthood, and because of my slight psychological problems.

I would like to seriously gain weight (like, 20 or 30 pounds or something, seriously), but I find it hard to get motivated about eating food.

I suppose this deals with food, so it's okay right?

I have a huge problem with "wasting" food, but I can't eat very much. I regret saying this but I ended up breaking down and causing a scene in public because I couldn't eat and didn't want to throw it away.

I also hold onto food for as long as possible before eating it. Usually it never makes it to my mouth before rotting because I'm so afraid of eating it at the wrong time or something. This makes me feel even more like shit because I'm not the one who pays for food, so now I've let people down on top of wasting food.

When I do manage to make food it exhausts me. But I'm trying my best and have been trying to find ways to do things with the least amount of work needed.

>>3327
>>3328
If you're looking for easy and simple meals, I suggest a rice cooker. They're very cheap. You just wash the rice and then leave it cooking. You can throw in stuff like frozen vegetables, canned "lentils/beans with sauce etc." with the rice and it'll cook all of it just fine. You can also cook other grains in them, like buckwheat. Apparently you can cook pasta in them too, but I haven't tried that yet.

I'm more concerned for my weight gain these past couple of weeks, Probably due to all the stress I'm experiencing because I don't usually eat at this rate. Oh well, in a month or so I'll be a stick again.

>>3313
I've been over 300 pounds since I was 8 years old. Before that I was borderline anorexic. It started as emotional eating due to my dysfunctional childhood. My parents were very abusive in all kinds of ways and my father would always force feed me food to apologize over and over again. I began turning to food every time my parents would hurt me, although my mother would sometimes starve me to get back at my dad and my dad would always scream at me and call me a fat fuck over and over again since he had a rage disorder and tourettes. I was "home schooled" (stayed in my room) and born into the hikki life with my mother trying to brainwash and indoctrinate me into her end of the world suicide cult before I even knew how to tie my shoes. I hit 500 pounds on my 13th birthday and have been mostly bedridden ever since, also inheriting my mother's schizophrenia in my teens and my father's autism from birth. 7 years ago my mother coaxed me into committing suicide with her through overdose when I was undergoing severe psychosis, however I survived due to my weight. My mother died in the ER, and I developed PTSD and lost all pleasure/feeling since that night. Got let out of the mental hospital on my 18th birthday with help from social worker, therapist and other staff (didn't tell them anything, just wanted to get out so I could retry suicide.) Instead of following their plan I went back to live with my father who was now 400 pounds, blames me for her death and is a hikki hoarder who has lost his mind and is getting alzheimers, which will leave me completely alone and homeless. I have zero self esteem and do not consider myself human. I have a stockholm syndrome relationship with my father, and I cannot break it. Despite everything, I finally told him to stop feeding me food and would throw it in the trash when he forced it on me, and despite his anger and constant insistence that I'd fail and give up again because I'm useless, I did fine on my own. I managed a back and forth routine of water fasting and fruit/vegetables (I went several years without eating either beforehand) for 3 months without a single failure even despite him constantly dumping food on me, waking me up in the middle of the night and trying to feed me and making me feel guilty and laughing at me every time I lost weight. I never knew how to say no before, always saying thank you and eating it all even though it was hurting me, but I had motivation to change this time. Once I could exercise I started with a single mile per day out on nightwalks at 2AM slowly building up all the way up to a marathon over the course of the next 3 months and winded up going all the way down to 250 pounds. I was still severely depressed and repressing everything just to muster the energy to get out of bed. Initially I had started all of this just so I could be healthy enough to lose my agoraphobia and go back outside to kill myself in a surefire way, that was my motivation, and as long as I had control over my environment and actions I could keep going without losing sight of that goal. However, my father began buying me truckloads of alcohol (never took a sip himself) out of nowhere without me ever asking and I became an alcoholic before I was even legally allowed to drink. After a few years of binge drinking and misery with memory loss I'm back at 500. On the plus side, I can no longer eat food because my teeth have rotted out of my skull and I am in constant pain. I'll probably die in my sleep soon if I'm lucky. If not, I'll be homeless.

>>3364
Holy fucking shit, dude. I am fucking sorry to hear that. Jesus Christ this takes the fucking cake. Will you be my friend? I know very few people who have been through what I have or worse and feel like I can relate to. And your situation is definitely worse.

>>3366
I'm not a good person. You don't want that.

>>3372
don't you be tellin me what i do and don't want sonny

listen up motherfuckwr ive made friends as a homeless (we did not have sex) so ask me : how does you make the decide what in this instance hmmm? im sweetheart.

>>3373
Why would you want to be my friend though? There's nothing to gain.

>>3364
f

sorry anon, I don't know what else to say

>>3377

Sometimes we want friends for selfish reasons - the most common reason being to prevent loneliness in one of its many forms. Humans being what we are, so long as that codependency is balanced with strong empathy and consideration for the other person, friendships can last a lifetime. A source of entertainment, support, and meaning.

why can't I post this?!

If you still want to be my friend… I'm not dead yet.

>>3626
ok im here!!!!!!! lets go how we do this are you ready to become a racecar

>>3627
I have no clue how but I've been a racecar since I born so it should be ok.

yes OP i have an eating disorder. I cant help myself but shove my fingers deep into my big lipped mouth and keep suckling on them

I am both anorexic and addicted to trash food lol

>>3873
The definition of skinny fat.

>>3313
>Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?
hey, random lurker and yes. maybe. kinda. but I'm not a neet.

I'll be out of school next year (not jailb8, I'm 18, german gymnasium) and I had some body image problems in the past (62kg at 163cm) so I decided I'll diet it off. Which I did. I'm 48kg now. I still count calories and all even though I planned on maintaining and lifting my mind off the diet shit.

I don't know if I qualify as ED. I don't think so at least. I didn't ask a doctor about it or anything. But I haven't seen my period since heck how long, my libido died, naturally I'm not as strong physically as I used to be, I developed kleptomania, and maybe the weirdest of them all: I lost my racism. Also I still feel like I'm not small enough, I don't want to lose weight any longer because buying new clothes sucks for me and I realized my build just isn't what I'd like it to be but the urge to go just a little bit lower is always in the back. And I'm uncomfortable when I think about gaining. But I'm a bit more comfortable with my body now I'll admit.

What I do nowdays is try eating in the range of 1000-1500 calories (it used to be 0 to 800) but I hardly ever do because my stomach shrunk so much it hurts to eat too much physically. The reasonable approach would be of course slowly stretching it out but a) that'd mean gaining weight and b) simply not eating is easier.

I mostly dieted through rawfoodism and intermittent fasting. I still fast because you get used. The biggest redpill I had to learn is that hunger is a scam. If you sit the hunger out for 15 minutes you're no longer hungry. It's mesmerizing.

>>3364
shit nigga
sorry if true

mind if i steal it for my book?

>>4015
Waifuposter here.

I want to talk to you please! We all miss you and think about you a lot.

>>4015
man, I wish I never had to worry about having food to eat. Then maybe I could just wait out hunger in 15 minutes. I just stay hungry for hours and hours and I start to stress out cause it bring back the mind shattering shit that left me going hungry when I was young. Is it even possible to contract anorexia after eating out of garbage cans for so long? I can't be the only one that knows this feel

>>4321
Lived in poverty before. Was a healthy weight then by carefully calculating how spending money would maximize calories. Still spend money to maximize calories, but have never been a healthy weight since. (I'm overweight)

I'm not sure if you can call it an ED but my doctor referred to it as such.

I have an incredible dislike of food (and eating too).
I hate the feeling of food on my tongue, I don't like taste either. I'm fine with crunchy stuff that barely tastes like anything, bread and fruits, vegetables and stuff, which sucks cause in Winter there are only disgusting fruits available from southern countries.
I can't stomach soup or any watery, wet stuff (sauce is sometimes alright if a little is put on a sandwich maybe but that's about it)

On some days I have to remind myself to eat. I'm underweight obviously.
People take it really badly if you don't eat in front of them. It might be a psychological factor from primitive times, sharing food so you know you can trust each other.

>>4327
soylent.com
terrible name, but I've heard good things. It's a flexible meal replacement; provides calories and most of the necessary shit you can't get in a multivitamin.
>>4322
There wasn't any money to prioritize, madre held the purse strings and she was fucked in the head. I ate what I could get, when I could get it, and cleaned the plate with a vengeance. I dunno, maybe when things were good temporarily and I'd gorge myself I stretched out my stomach. Because I don't feel full until it hurts

Shit, it is so hard to unlearn the habits that kept you alive, even when they start being a problem. I feel for you, at least my problem doesn't entail much work

wasn't until last year that I had difficulties, before then I can't think of any issues arising from eating, even minor ones
but as of about summer 2018 I now can't eat more than a meal a day generally, sometimes 2, sometimes not even a proper meal and just a single slice of toast or something
was 35kg at my lowest, now I generally don't go below 45, and I do stay in the 45-55kg range but it fluctuates so much I think I should just get another set of scales to be 100% honest
it's not great but there's nothing anybody can do so I suppose that's a closed book

I binge/stress eat an alarming amount. Last I checked I was around 300 lbs at 5'0 (this was sometime either last year or the year before, I'm terrified of checking again). Doesn't really help that I live with a neglectful family that sabotages attempts to get my proverbial shit together (including but not limited to keeping the vegetables for themselves or cooking them to taste like garbage). With how little I go outside on top of several other problems I'm honestly terrified that I'm never going to be able to recover. I try to exorcise, but I feel more lethargic and drained of will than ever lately. Fasting helps, but I also don't want to go from one extreme to the other.

Plus, being a girl, the potential side effects of my polycystic ovarian syndrome are constantly looming over me. I feel like I'm in a deadlock and it fucking sucks.

I'm very skinny (18 bmi) used to be even lower but gained a bit when I stopped smoking. I find eating a chore most of the time the only when I was doing nofap and exercising could I find the motivation to eat enough but it always stopped after a while. I think it has something to do with dopamine receptors/regulation which pornography,masturbation and sedentarism wreak havoc on. Reminds me of that study where they destroyed all the dopamine receptors in some rats and they wouldnt eat even if the food was in front of them but if they put the food in their mouth they'd chew and find it enjoyable. It has something to do with drive apparently.
My teeth are fucked up now and I don't have money to fix them so that makes me even more hesitant to eat. Other than that yeah it was and it still is somewhat of a factor of low self esteem.