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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

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being alone for so long has stunted my ability to talk so much that i can barely construct full sentences in my head, let alone hold a conversation with anyone


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Try getting into literature or consuming media in your native language. Or chat up people on the internet/talk to yourself. Whatever you do, don't let your mother tongue become dormant, as it will be way harder to bounce back from there.


Just pick up a book. What do you do all day?


I recently heard of someone solving this problem for themselves by installing VRChat and talking to people on there.


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When being alone I have always held conversations with myself, explaining stuff and pretending I wouldn't get it. It's a great way to learn complex topics, except socializing.


I do this but instead I explain stuff I like to someone else who isn't there. Stuff like mechanics, and everyday life know-hows that I lived by.


i do this too, but i don't really end up learning anything afterwards…


I do this aswell


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I like to pretend I'm teaching a class. For some reason in my mind I can explain things well but in real life I can't string a coherent sentence together.


I have two inner voices that are in a constant state of arguing. It's sort of like the "devil/angel on your shoulders" metaphor. I also mentally explain things to myself whenever I'm about to do something, but that will usually instigate an argument which leads to non-productivity.


Talk to yourself in voice. Itt will train you brain to talk. As you already socially isolated it dont harm more than already has.


Social adaptation does nothing with letters and words. It is chemistry and pantomime. You smell and pose talks to people and you words do nothing.


It seems like a good way to socialize, but the idea that someone could be streaming or recording our conversation completely ruins it for me.

You could be the most fragrant, laid back person in the world and "so, d-do you like Yugioh?" would still be a bad way to meet people.


Just watch news and then listen. Handsome/goodlooking/good smelling/good posing person can say any bullshit and it would be cool and sexy. That how socialization works. You should look better than you are. Thats all you need.


Also peaceful state of mind. People feel`s and empathyze you. They feel the same as you when you talk with them. Text can show it too. Words you use, sentences, order, show you feels and make psyhicaly healthy people empathyse. When you translate words inside you mind to you minds internal language you remember personal events and modulate emotional background. Everyone around you do the same.


Normal people suffer when they near someone who suffer. Best way to lure people near you is to hold suffering inside you. Get some sociial activity with people, have fun and use positive emotions to heal suffering inside you.


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Bottling your emotions up for too long can be harmful. It doen't just go away or heal. Always being around people who you can never actually confide in because they only like you for a facade is hardly worth it. My suggestion is find some interst within yourself that's socially acceptable and pursue that. Get the necessary ammount of interaction to not feel totally isolated and get a therapist on the side.


I didnt say you need to seal you emotions forever. Just for a time you need to get some fun and positive experience. When you git some good memories it will be easier to mantain normal or even positive thinking.

The worst case is to drown in spiral of suffering. You suffer - you get bad memories - you suffer more - you push back people - they hate you - you hate youself - you had more bad experience - you had more bad memories - you suffer more.

The only resolution is to turn that spiral upside down.

That does nothing with succesfull life but it produces less suffering with each iteration. Less you suffer - more you can do, but no more you actualy capable of.

Rednecks fo example uses this. And some Africans/Russians.


Also anime with dying "maho-shodjos" and lot of drama is bad memory becouse it produces more suffering than good experience. Just to clarify that.


This is a naive oversimplification. People who have had shitty lives can actually be better adjusted than people who do have some good memories from the past. Individual dispositions play a bigger role then good to bad memory ratio. Fulfilling your immediate needs and getting professional help for your problems is the best course of action.


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>Normal people suffer when they near someone who suffer.
No, they only superficially care in order to keep up the facade. I doubt they genuinely care about a stranger whom they don't already have an affinity to.


Wrong, false. While people can and do bullshit, a lot of the times, they'll actually feel bad in the moment but wont take meaningful action or still give a shit five minutes later.


You have a point but I wouldn't say that "suffer" is the right word. Most of the time I do get overwhelmed around people who are in a bad situation, but the decision to care or not is something else. I tend to keep distance especially if I can't help.


I respect hikkies as i am hikki too. And i assume problem desribed here is not a simple one like "my girl dont apriciate my football skill"

Profesional help. Do you have emough money for that?

The way you look on it depends.

It is a question like "my wife is simulating in the bed what i should feel about it?". Normal person dont give a fuck is it simulation or not. Feel-ish bu normally-egoistic person would thank "wife" because she put an effort to please that person.
But only a depressive one would feels tricked and cheated.

Depression is a internal suffering. Watch Sapolsky.


> they give a shit five minutes later
They are also aware of this, hence they avoid people, who make them feel bad. Who wouldn't?


I used to have this severely, it was like being someone who broke his legs learning to walk again. Since then I have always made sure to talk to myself regularly, or otherwise risk losing my ability to construct sentences. I think you have to treat you ability to speak like you treat you physical ability, use it or lose it.

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