/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>6535
1. Look for communities that match your interests
2. Talk to people there, and eventually you'll end up with friends
As a rule of thumb, avoid big groups since chances are you won't be able to talk to the same person more than a couple of times.
Try the Uboa Server for starters (listed under 'Community Services' in the bar to your left)
I hope you make friends, anon. Feel free to drop something I can contact you with in case you still have trouble finding friends and need help.

>>6535
The only ways I've met people online are through the game I play most of the time. I have also met people on a few boards but they never last. Not saying people I find in my game last a long time ether but they still have me added and we play sometimes. Its fun to play games with friends I used to do it all the time when they still played sadly not any do anymore. Feels kinda lonely now days but I dont care too much as I'm used to being alone.

>>6535
I have no idea. I only ever got one friend online but that only lasted I think three months. No idea why he had to leave, maybe he really had BPD and I shouldn't have dismissed and ignored that. Maybe he just got sick of me because of my weird autistic ramblings. I can see how someone a lot more normal than me would think that I'm too much to deal with. First time this ever happened and I got "ghosted", as the kids say.

Over time, reality looks simpler to me than the internet. But either way you have to expose yourself to other people somehow, but even that involves a lot of chance. I want to risk everything and go to places in real life that could increase my chances of finding some degree of happiness, but as soon as I decided that I had enough of being a hikki after so many years, the world decided that no one is allowed to go anywhere anymore. It's like it conspired to ruin me. I'm sure that a lot of people feel the same way.

>>6536
Even in communities that match my interests (and I have more than most people, which is kind of a problem in a way) I'm still weird and not compatible with most people. People like my posts in various places and say nice things, but it doesn't help, it never leads to anything and I don't know how to be that active. People even said things like "I need a friend like you" before, but how am I supposed to respond to that? I don't even know anything about them because there was no discussion leading up to that, it was just me rambling as I always do. Anyway, I strongly regret not getting contact information from the few random people that I really enjoyed talking to a lot, over the years. That was a huge mistake. I can't recreate those situations either, because all of those encounters happened by accident, mostly in places that don't exist anymore.

Groups are also troublesome. Big groups are more active, so it's easier to find a discussion to join, but it's also easier to be ignored and it's more difficult to have anything meaningful. Small groups are dead, so if I say anything the focus will be entirely on me and I feel like I'm being watched by a silent crowd and that makes me too anxious, more than just being part of a crowd. And there is nothing to talk about anyway. Discord doesn't work because I have lurked and people don't talk about anything. Maybe I should look for groups, but I don't even want to use that thing because it's spyware. Additionally, I don't know how anything in groups and also in real time could possibly work. In a situation like that, there is no way to have a good discussion that would make me want to talk to someone. Ideally it would be not in real time, like here, and a small group, but also somewhat active. The best interactions that I ever had were in situations like that.

Everything is way too complicated And this is just friendship, it's easy mode compared to trying to find actual love in this nightmare world. I lived most of my life either unaware or in denial of my needs, so I have no experience with any of this. Maybe I should just leave contact information everywhere I go, and make a website that contains some information about me. I have been thinking about that. I have the skills to easily do it, so I should.

>>6542

> People even said things like "I need a friend like you" before, but how am I supposed to respond to that?

Send them a friend request, and start by greeting them. 8 times out of 10, they will respond favorably. The rest is just basic conversational skills you can gain by having more and more conversations.

> Maybe I should look for groups

I would in fact recommend that
The main purpose of groups is to find people you like talking to, and befriending them, and not being an active member of said group per se.

> Everything is way too complicated And this is just friendship, it's easy mode compared to trying to find actual love in this nightmare world.

Love isn't hard to come by, but rarely worth being called 'love'. I'd highly, highly recommend NOT getting into e-dating. Online relationships are a painful, short-lived abomination. I can confidently say this after a good number of bad experiences.

> Maybe I should just leave contact information everywhere I go, and make a website that contains some information about me.

Not a good idea. It'll make you look like a weirdo, so instead stick to normally conversing with people who are willing to talk.

Learn to be assertive, anon.
This is the internet, not real life.
Be free, be assertive, and be the one who initiates conversations, instead of waiting to be called. You'll get told that you're weird or awkward when you talk to people, but don't let that get to you. The more you talk, the better you'll get at it. Eventually, you'll attain mastery and become capable of befriending anyone you want to.
Don't give up, be strong. You've got this, anon!

>>6543
>Send them a friend request
Well, those are people that I haven't even talked to, so that feels very random, and kinda wrong. Especially when if we didn't get along, I would feel bad adding someone and then not talking to them.

>NOT getting into e-dating
I understand that. The internet is only good as a starting point for anything real, and even that is only arguably the case. I feel like it's not good for anything these days. It's too artificial and there are no places left for people like me anymore.

>It'll make you look like a weirdo
I am a weirdo, so it makes sense to look like one. It's honest, and a lot of people seem to like it, so it's fine (and incompatible people are even free to hate me if they want to, I don't care). Anyone that doesn't like weird autistic people should avoid me like the plague. Even for the ones that do I may be a little too much after a while. I still think the website would be good so people can have a basic idea of who I am without a lot of time investment. Just as a way of centralizing information. Including contact information (that I don't even really have right now), so I don't have to give it to people.

>>6535
idk but i met my online friend thought minecraft , we where playing on some server , some guy tasked us with making a big fucking floor for him (like 255x255 dont remember) in exchange for some money because he was hella rich
, we got on discord then we talked about stuff , eventually went and did something else, he eventually invited me and added me to his protections (protection is anti-grief , if you are not in the protection you cant break blocks).

Some more shit happened and boom , best friends.

I dont have any advice sadly , just this personal anectdote which i hope will be useful

I guess just start talking to people (online and perhaps otherwise) and approach and start the conversation the people you like talking to the most idk.

In the past I used some big forums and found myself a nice little group of people to converse with. It was pretty fun and we did a lot of things together, but it ultimately broke up because it just wasn't sustainable anymore. Discord is where a lot of people hang out and is what I used, but its disgusting spyware and I dropped it immediately after my group broke up.
At this point I'm just alone here on the internet and wander across imageboards. At the end of the day I'm not one for personal interaction and the anonymity offered by imageboards is very attractive to me. I would like it if these boards would be slightly faster, but its not a deal-breaker for me.

Go outside but unironically.
as for question itself, at all costs avoid making friends through "weirdo communities", as that attracts a lot of, well, weirdos. especially if you're bad at picking up social cues. you're just gonna end up talking to narcissistic/rude/etc faggots and get emotionally drained more likely than not. unlikeable people together tend to not be a good fit.
there's good "weirdos" out there, if you mean by interests and not being a "normalfag" who has a happy life, but they're harder to find. you just have to judge by character.

Try slow paced games like RuneScape maybe, just go chop trees or whatever for some time and ask someone if they're bot, if they're real then just say how bots ruin the games economy and try to pick up a convo. Worked for me.

Don't let RuneScape consume your life though. That thing is like cocaine

>>6652
I forgot to mention, if you think you're awkward don't force yourself, just say "I gotta go", or "gtg, cya" and just hop worlds, and try again. There will probably be other people in the same spot. I recommend trying it on Draynor Village, as there is a popular fishing and tree chop area inside each other at the back of the bank. a lot of players there. good luck op, and take it easy

>>6536
Word. This reply's really good. The best people I know online are from small-ish tightknit communities.

& don't be shy as well

>>6649
Discord being spyware is one major issue. There are alternatives, but people just don't use them for some reason. I also don't like the idea of talking to groups in general. Who do I talk to? If it's dead and no one is there, what do I say? And if there are too many people around, it's not really possible to have a great discussion. I tend to prefer responding to people, but even if there are only a couple of people talking, I don't want to join a conversation that other people are having and potentially get in their way. In general, imageboards are what I like the most, but we never exchange contact information even when a good discussion does happen. The internet really feels kinda hopeless. It never leads anywhere.

Someone did get me to use Discord (after a conversation, so I had to be convinced, and to me trying to make someone use something else feels rude) and then "ghosted" me, as the kids say (and I used it in a browser with a good VPN and generally tried to keep it from being too invasive), and I was desperate enough to try a couple of groups, but it just didn't work and I couldn't talk. Gave up after joining a small group and a message loudly announced that I joined. Made me panic and quit everything and never try again. Real time online communication makes me too nervous. This is one aspect of myself that I definitely hate. For talking to complete strangers that I know nothing about, it's too much. In a way, it's scarier than real life and I can't contain my spaghetti, it immediately explodes out of my pockets.

>>6652
Maybe I should play RuneScape. I actually never played it, which is strange because I played MMOs way too much in the past (and I certainly regret that now). Somehow never played one of the more popular ones, very strange. Kinda scared, though, because I may end up spending too much time on it. When I did play MMOs, I was really bad at interacting with people. Couldn't do anything that required collaboration. Still, I did talk to some people, though I never initiated the first interaction.

>>6649
Almost the same for me, only difference is that it was on Skype and not Discord.
I honestly think that I am still chasing that feeling of belonging, comfort and intimacy. I miss those people, they were the best friends I ever had. We talked about everything with each other, did a lot of stuff together and helped each other out a lot. We even met once irl.
Whatever they do now and wherever they are now, I wish them only the best.
I miss them and the places I visited in the past, often I think about them.
I have to be honest and admit I am longing for things that are gone and won't come back. The reason why I am still on the Internet… I know nothing else and have the silly hope I will one day meet people I like again and a place I call home.
>>6655
I actually met those people that I mentioned above on an imageboard and we got together because I dropped my contact information. Maybe just risk doing it, I doubt that on places like Uboa something bad follows.

>>6657
My post made me think more about this matter and I think what I truly search is the cirklewanking I had with the few people I mentioned.
The playful teasing and shitposting, paired with the occasional serious talk about something. Exchanging opinions about stuff we watched and played, being just able to life my interests. Just having friends that are likeminded and there for you.
I am honestly afraid finding out if I would be satisfied again if I met new people that I get along with. I have changed, feeling more tired, more jaded, more burned out. I am afraid to get what I am chasing and finding out it isn't fulfilling anymore. That the magic is gone or separation regarding online and irl is getting to me now.
I wonder if I ever stumble upon a website again that makes me feeling fond of it or if the Internet just got stale for me. But what else is there for me except the Internet? There is nothing and no one else around, I cling desperately to it and I am afraid it won't be what I need nor want.

>>6536
How do you look for communities? How do you find small groups? Uboachan discord is fucking humongous

I have much better luck on tiny discords (like under 100 members), but it's near impossible to find them. I feel like I could have some success if I just had opportunities to interact with people but it seems nonexistent unless you already have friends to invite you to servers and shit.