/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

not a bad idea anon, but maybe try ignoring those comments or stares, that’s what I do

It's nice to think about, but not very practical unless you are a true hikki.

I don't have a vow of silence as such, I do however avoid any 'idle' conversation, i.e. smalltalk, the kind of talk that nobody benefits from and only serves to disturb your train of thought. Which, I suppose, is effectively a vow of silence most days.

>>4755
Check out "selective mutes" fascinating subject. It's usually brought on by emotional trauma. It can be done. I managed to go about 5 months without so much as a hello to a cashier to get groceries. It's not much different than it is now. I have a boyfriend that lives with me. Stoner, dead end job loser dude, but it's company, I suppose. I never talk though unless spoken to directly. He's just here for a free ride. I'm not an idiot. When he does have a friend over I don't talk to them either. They are his friends and not mine. Took me a bit to figure it out but no one wants to talk to me, whether I speak back or not. Unless my mom calls usually once or twice a week. I don't speak to anyone still. I honestly should start counting the words I use in a month. It's less than 500, I am most certain. I know a woman's place is to be seen and not heard. It's not ideal but it can be done, anon.

>>4915
You sound like an abuse victim. Daddy issues?

I've been recently thinking about just staying quiet for the rest of my life, all my family talk to me about is how much of a nobody I am, and whenever I would speak to my friends they would either tell me to stop talking or call me an idiot. I believe what I have to say isn't important and I have the experience to know it isn't important.I guess I'm aware that friends can be assholes and maybe finding new friends is a good option, but without them I don't know what I'll do.

I truly can't judge someone when that's the situation. That, to me, is all around a shite life.

>>4929
i'd rather be alone than being around such "friends"

>person asks a yes-or-no question
>confirmatory "m-hm"
>person assumes I was using the intonation for a question, repeats themselves in a condescending tone
>"yes"
>for some reason they repeat again, more curtly
>"Yes. I said yes. How many times are you going to ask, haha, I don't understand…"
>"When are you going to understand anything, anon?"

Why the fuck am I the one in the wrong here? I failed to read some social cue once or something and suddenly every breath I take I'm treated as an idiot. Do I mumble, speak too quietly?

>>5039
Try adding emphasis with your body. If you say yes, say so with your head too, making a clear "up-down" nod movement. If you say no, shake it from left to right.
The people that talk to you sound like dicks though, at least reading it from your point of view, but I wonder what makes them repeat themselves so much when asking you something.

>>5040
Thanks for the advice. Though, in this particular situation, we were in a fairly dark room and the other person wasn't even looking in my direction, so I don't think nodding would have helped.

Also lol
>making a clear "up-down" nod movement. If you say no, shake it from left to right.
Yes. I'm very well aware of these socially accepted head motions taught during early childhood.

By now I've already made it a habit of waving at people as obviously as possible every time I greet them because of some of them getting offended after not hearing me say "hello" and such. It's definitely a problem with the loudness or intonation of my voice. Or maybe they judge me as stupid after one interaction and just act accordingly from then on.

>>5040
>>5041
Bad advice. If you make really big, overemphasized gestures, people will think you have a mental disability. You just need to get better at mimicking the people around you to a tea. Voice intonation, volume, think about what other people do depending on the situation and do the same. Even by watching tv shows you can get practice. If people who literally don't have the same emotions as other human beings(psychopaths) can do it, so can you.

>>5042
>Even by watching tv shows you can get practice.

This advice is even worse.

>>5043
How? A good western show will show people reacting realistically. What shit have you been watching? I'm not talking about anime or anything like that.

>>5041
>Yes. I'm very well aware of these socially accepted head motions taught during early childhood.
Sorry, I wanted to make emphasis on "clearly" but it came out as condescending. By this I meant the other person sees you and understands you noded or shaked your head.

I am in a similar position to you (I prefer to use intonations too instead of replying) and in the past people didn't get I noded so they ended asking if I was listening and such. This is why I recommend this, since it worked.

>>5042
I said "clearly", not like a retard. The other person sees you and thinks "that's a nod, alright".

>>5045
I don't remeber the last time i've nodded during casual conversation. It's the kind of thing you do when you're trying to communicate with a person who's on the phone or when you're too far away to hear them. Just seems unnatural to me.

>>5046
I'm not a natural person, so I do what works. I have problems with oral communication. It's not that I'm retarded and can't talk, but sometimes I feel like I think too fast and I can't put it into words in time and end stuttering/stuck. So I try not to speak too fast, if I do even speak; otherwise body gestures are more comfortable for me. Nobody complained so far so I don't see a reason for quitting. The people who talk with me are used to my personality so I guess they adapted.

>>5044
Clarifying it to only "good" shows gives a little more ground to your argument.
However, it's still a bad idea because the fact is, it's scripted - it's fiction, fake. True, you might be able to infer some general gesticulation/expressions, but real people won't react to them the same as fictional characters do and you'll most likely miss certain nuances. Just stick to observing reality.

>>5046
Could this be a cultural thing? Even in casual conversation here it's fairly normal to nod to acknowledge that you've heard/understood parts of it, to show that you agree with whatever sentiment your listener is expressing or even just to greet someone on the street. Something similar to how the Japanese add short quiet comments during a conversation, while the same is seen as rude in some western cultures. You've also got the stereotype of Italians gesticulating wildly even talking over the phone.

>>5048
Ah. I'm almost exactly the same as you in this regard.
I still keep talking fast because I'm afraid of sounding retarded, and I end up doing shit like mincing my words, using them in an odd order, constantly pausing because I can't remember the exact word for the concept I'm thinking of… It pisses me off because as I get older it happens more and more often. I thought my brain was supposed to be in its prime right about now.
Another interesting thing, I've started studying Japanese recently and I've noticed that I've been beginning my sentences with the topic, as if using the 'wa' particle, even when it doesn't sound natural in my native tongue, so it seems that language code mixing might be one of the causes for my syntax problems.

>Like I get so tired of people calling me stupid or retarded… It would be so much easier to just shut up forever.
Yeah, so did I. But after I stopped talking to people, I found those words just spilled out of my mouth when I was alone. I hate my stupid fucking retard self too so not talking to other people won't fix anything wwwwwww

>>5044
>fiction
>authentic
>not just an autocatalytic meme propagation machine
Anon, pls read the post structuralists. Taking representation for reality is friggin embarrassing man

>>5066
>Anon, pls read the post structuralists. Taking representation for reality is friggin embarrassing man
It's a bad idea to learn from fictional media because of the straightforward reason that the ways that characters act in fictional media are not the ways that people act in real life, not because of whatever leftist bafflegab you just spouted.

>>5126
Who are you quoting?

This would be a great idea.
But it is convenient for true NEETs, as someone said earlier, as in many countries it is impossible to live a solitary life without a job, and when on duty, you must communicate.

I have issues with expressing emotion, and that's why people tend to avoid me. They don't understand me. I lost several jobs because of this, but the psychiatrist said "you'll get along with someone".

Honestly, I would gladly shut up. Human speech is littered with nonsensical emotions, speech patterns, individuality, and so on. Of course, I would try to talk emotionally to the person I would love, but there is no one who would like me, despite that I have some beneficial qualities.

Currently, I'm searching for a job in advertising, since it's my college degree, and the pay is high. But I need to communicate with others all the time, and they're not like me, they would take a slight tone adjustment personally.
I could search for a job like, say, a watchman, but the pay is too low, and it's not taking me anywhere.

If people would accept me writing my phrases on my phone and then showing them said phrases, I would gladly stop speaking.

>>5234
Emotions are also expressed through facial expressions, gestures and body positioning, so people would still see you as emotionless even if you were mute.

Get into acting, I guess.

>>5234
>it's my college degree
Bad decision Anon. Also, learning how to fake emotions isn't that hard. If psychopaths can do it, so can you.

>>5236
I don't think anybody here is a psychopath.

>>5236
>>5237
NEETs/hikkis tend to have issues like anxiety and depression, right? Aren't psychopaths people who lack empathy or feelings? I think that, in order to be a NEET/hikki, you have to feel emotions too intensely. Social anxiety is caused by thinking about other people's judgments too much. If someone was a psychopath (or maybe I am getting words confused here), they wouldn't care at all what other people think. In fact, that kind of insanity could lead to extremely high confidence.

>>5237
>>5239
He's implying that if a psycho can feign emotions they do not possess, "so can you", not that anybody here is a psychopath.

I want to send my love to all of you anons, and I feel you, as someone who's been bullied in an inescapable setting, and considered this. I recommend writing in a journal, talking to yourself, or if you can, finding one person that you can talk to about random things. Expressing yourself regularly will give you a sense of being a stable, logical, single human being, and other people's behavior doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Our minds are beautiful and we were all meant.

>>5271
Only the bullied retards like to spout nonsensical and delusional crap like this. You should have been bullied more.

>>6491
Careful not to cut yourself on that edge.