Any long-term / no experience NEETs want to share their stories? Or just your existence.
>never had a job
>barely got through school
>haven't left the house in 5 months, haven't left the house for an actual reason in over 2 years
>haven't had a social life in 5 years
>No traumatic past
>no medical issues / disabilities
>not rich / privileged enough to justify or explain it
>not poor / struggling enough to be without internet, food, warmth, privacy
I'm in a really weird and shitty place at the moment. I'm constantly guilty, suicidal, apathetic, angry, scared, lonely, antisocial, bored, tired, and in a state of malaise.
I'm physically and mentally able. I can work, I can think, I can deal with people. Yet I'm a parasite.
No matter how much I try and work things out, no matter how obvious it may seem that I have all the tools I need, the only conclusion ends up being suicide. I'm not even a suicidal person, it would be a very difficult thing for me to do, I'm not sure if I even could, and for this reason doctors don't consider me to be suicidal. But it nonetheless feels like the path of least resistance compared to the inexplicably impossible and unmotivating prospect of shaping myself up and getting a job.
What paradoxically seems to make everything worse is that there's no apparent reason for how much of a worthless parasite I turned out to be, it's very dangerous to end up truly feeling like it's my destiny.
So here I am, stuck in this loop, wasting away.
Do something to break the cycle. Something that would trigger an epiphany. Set yourself on fire of take a lot of sleeping pills. Not enough to kill you, but enough to send you to the hospital. You'll get to stay there for awhile and just think. They give suicidal people like a week or something to work things out in their head I hear. To me it sounds like you need a push, a fresh start. Maybe you should consider moving to the opposite side of your country. Since you have nothing to live for you also have nothing to lose which gives you the opportunity to do something totally reckless.
You lack motivation, that's all. It's the terminal condition of all NEETs; there's simply no point in doing things, because the status quo is fine as is at the moment. Why work when I have all the commodities I need? Why make efforts when doing nothing feels better? Why try when I feel it won't work?>>2810
is right, all you need is a push, a start, something to drive you towards something else than what your life is right now. I'd not recommend pseudo-suicide, but you need some kind of objective to start moving. Do you feel like shit? Change that, make that your objective. If being a parasite makes you feel bad, start helping in the house. Clean the rooms, do the dishes, make everything look neat, fix broken things, mow the lawn, wash the clothes. Start with something small, something that seems like a pain but that can still be done. Try to discipline yourself.
People say having a job is good..
Well I disagree. I wish I could stay home. I have money that I can't enjoy, and when I have money I have no TIME to enjoy things I bought cause I'm workin and my days off are spent recovering(sleep).
But heeeyyy! Having a job is great! Taxes steal a portion of it, you come home too exhausted to do anything and you can save in order to buy things you'll have no time to enjoy !!
Thank god I don't have kids..
Welcome to the real world. Nobody said it would be fair. This is why people drink.
If you really want to be pessimistic about all this, just remember that what ever you're working for(or not working for), it all comes to naught since we're all just gonna ditch the world sooner or later anyway.
Nigga wish I had one I may get kicked of home next month lol
I wish I could work from home. I am at work atm bitchin about life on Ubuu, lol. I am such bitch.
But you can. Like what the others said, what you just lack is motivation.
Working from home would provide me with inferior salary.
If you want more money and time I hear you can do odd, seasonal jobs nobody wants to do like working on lobster ships
It's not so much that a job is good, it's more that a job gives you a wage to work with so you can maintain whatever lifestyle you want. If you know what you are doing and understand what you want to do with your spare time, a part time job at a retail place is more than enough.
Like, for example, if you can deal with like two, three, even four roommates, whether family or just like minded folk and get a cheap home that was foreclosed or even just get a cheap rental house. When I was a kid, my family had rented a house that was like five hundred bucks a month and it was in a good part of town too. If my folks had kicked me out to "be a grown up" I would just find some other people around my age and find a similar house or even just work towards buying a foreclosed/cheap house. Then I could work like 20-25 hours a week and make decent money for myself for vidya or manga as well as food, pick up my hours for things like trips or even go full time if I decide to have kids, though depending on the company I keep, maybe it would be best to not have kids brought around in that environment. But you get the idea.
Perhaps put your life in God's hands, he has a plan for you.
Yeah, like dying alone.
I don't actually see any advice in that post
You can't see what you don't want to see.
Remember Jesus loves you.
Fuck off. Talking to the sky and a dead hippie is not going to help your life in any way.
Please take your tulpas somewhere else.
Simply put, modern society consists of hard workers, people who want to work but aren't allowed to, and parasites who pretend it's the others who are the true parasites. No, I don't feel bad for not volunteering to be a host to them.
Hey hey hey heres my life
Everyone expected me to be this spectacular successful person and i was railroaded into college and fucked it up by not doing any assignments after the first semester. I havent been motivated to do schoolwork since the third grade because surprise surprise! I have anxiety and depression! Because my little brothers are austistic which means im suppossed to be the one that "comes out alright" (ironically one has a steady job and the other is fresh out of highschool going to job interviews while i stay home and play minecraft)
I dropped out 5 years ago. My last bit of experience was community service 3 years ago. Nihilism has actually kept me from killing myself, though i have developed a smoking habit partially self harm and as a crutch to keep my panic attacks in line.
Last year i was actually making progress. I was speaking to my friends again, driving, eating and sleeping healthy. I even tried dating (and decided that was TOO much! Not for me not ever!) Then my dad's medication fucked his reality and he became very violent and wrecked me and all my progress. I crashed the car, i isolated myself again, and i was too afraid to leave my room. I couldnt get cigarretes so i went back to cutting to keep me from having full on meltdowns (becauae i might actually also be autistic and supressed symptoms are backfiring)
I escaped with my brothers to my mom and im back in to square one. I now have ptsd. Smoking a pack every two days on my allowance. The diet revealed that i have horrendously low blood sugar and need constant breaks. My social anxiety is at an all time high and i forget how to keep up my normal human face after its been used up. I used to be a fantastic liar. Its how i got through years of school without immediate attention to my short comings.
Im trying right now to get a job despite all of this. I have a resume ready and a temp agency application in front of me. Every second im not putting a pen to that paper is another decibal of internal screaming at myself to do it. Anxiety at inaction. Somedays i want to claw at my own face because im so angry at my stupid brain for not simply doing things. For freezing on the phone. For remembering horrible events that make me cry outloud for someone to kill me. Im surrounded by unfinished projects and unanswered messages and not quite broken promises because i SWEAR i'll get to them all!
I know that to break out i just need to try. My student loan grace period ended last febuary. My abuser is still paying my phone bill bc its still on contract. Ots getting difficult to get along with my mom but im safe here. In govt housing. Actually living with her is against the rules. And it keeps going until i get so deep in my troubles i end up not doing whats most important.
This was very long. Its 0335. Im gonna sleep
If that's you're life, I'm gonna dissect it. You're parents were probably too soft on you. They probably coddled you and kept telling you how great you'll do because apparently you're supposed to be normal. They probably neglected to prepare you for real life's challenges and just stroked your ego. Based off of the description of you're family, either it has a history of mental illness, or you're parents had children at too old an age. Men older than forty have a much higher chance of having autistic children. You seem like you need therapy to help with your anxiety and low self-esteem. Your parents not recognizing this need is more evidence to the conclusion that they've done a really shitty job of raising you. What's with these, "outbursts", you say you occasionally have? What's this, "normal human face", you say you used to have? Stop sperging out. Take a chill pill and stop blaming other people for your problems. Just calm the fuck down and sign the papers. Also, stop making promises that you know you can't keep because you lack the motivation and spine to do so. The first step to recovery is recognizing your faults and admitting them to others.
>Take a chill pill and stop blaming other people for your problems. Just calm the fuck down and sign the papers
If this is your idea of a dissection, I want to press charges against you since your surgical ability is so poor you clearly have no proficiency in the slightest
>>4383>quoting part of my post and implying that that was the entirety of what I said
If that's your idea of a response, I want to press charges against you because your ability to communicate is so poor, you clearly have no proficiency at it in the slightest.
7ish years a hiki,
quit high school too young,
always knew I'd be a neet failure when school made me too anxious to continue going, yet never told anyone.
I remember looking at the longterm shutin losers on 4chan back then, but it felt okay since I was underage and they were in their 20s and it seemed so far away. So many years of fun left. But thinking back, I only have a couple of memories in all these years, it's a blur trying to piece together any kind of timeline.
I haven't matured mentally since the day I went hiki either, so have also failed at spending any of this time productively Each year goes faster and faster, Im becoming older than the people I speak to online and it gets progressively more depressing.
It feels so surreal thinking about this timeline, like I can see my own posts here from when I was early/mid teens at the very beginning of being hiki, but it also could have been yesterday.
Ive completed this life and its only going to be downhill from here..
kmsing was always the initial thought in the face of something slightly difficult too, but i'm totally obsessed with it now. one day I learned how to do it was and it hasnt really left my mind, sometimes there's this overwhelming urge to do it again, not fully, (maybe just so i can be reminded how easy it is, or for the rush idk) even when i dont feel depressed/suicidal but i dont want brain damage and im still not mentally ill enough to not care about my family.
Every day Ill pray for the end of the world or something so noone has to grieve.
When things have gotten to that point, you should really consider throwing out your computer. If you're dwelling on suicidal thoughts, how hard would it be to just take a hammer to your pc? Who knows what you'll do after. More likely than not, it'll be less of a waste of time. If you aren't afraid of dying as much, you shouldn't be afraid of unplugging.
>>4888>If you aren't afraid of dying as much, you shouldn't be afraid of unplugging.
Don't you know there are things out there that are worse than death?
I wouldn't recommend throwing out your computer bruh. That'll lead to withdrawal problems. Maybe delete your internet browsers and install Dillo or some other minimalist browser. If you want to fix this, do it steadily, not try to do it rapidly.
Some people can't bring them self to do things gradually. They'll just relapse. Dealing with withdrawal is temporary. Unless they can't resist the urge to buy a new pc or spend all their time in an internet cafe, it's full-proof.
>dropped out of high school
>being an complete useless person for almost a year now
>>4898>19>been through 5 jobs since graduating>being a complete useless person for almost 2 years now
wanna be friends
Haha of course,at least you had your own money,what happened?i simply gave up on everything,and trough this year I ve been trough things like derealization and an acne breakout this sucks man
I have an issue with motivation. I'm very listless, especially when I don't want to be. So when I do something too impulsive, I end up not going through with it and regretting any sacrifices I made from those rash decisions. That's why I function better when I think about my course of action considerably and proceed steadily. Not by any means saying you're wrong, a lot of people benefit from throwing out their PC if they are too dependent on it. But I'm considering the person's lack of productivity and assuming they are like me in that sense ;)
the last time I quit was partly over a relationship as dumb as that sounds. I never had much of a plan for my future, but she was a glimmer of hope that things would be ok as long as I was with her. then it ended and the bottom fell out
>Been to psychiatrists from kindergarten to 20ish
>Each psychiatrist had a different idea
>Overbearing mother and weak father
>Nothing particularly traumatic
>Had a couple really short jobs
>Got on country's version of SSI pretending to be schizophrenic because it's a clearcut diagnosis
>Haven't had a social life since I got the net 13ish years ago.
>Ditto for leaving the apartment for anything besides groceries
Frankly I've never been particularly ashamed of being a sponge. I look at 'normal' people and see lives far more pathetic than mine. They sleep for 8 hours, work for 8 hours, spend maybe 4 hours dealing with necessities, and are left with 4 hours of their own if even that. I obviously don't have much money but my time is my own, I can mostly do what I want when I want. What I want just happens to be being a shut-in.
Be thankful. Without those, "pathetic normal people", you'd either be dead or starving. Seriously, pretending to have a mental illness because you can't be bothered to lift you own weight is a bit scummy. Pretty sure it's illegal too.
I guess you didn't quite get what I meant. I am FAR from a functional person(As I said, I haven't left my home for anything but groceries in THIRTEEN YEARS.) and there has been something wrong with me since childhood but every psychiatrist had a different vague idea (usually schizo-something) and SOMETHING had to be put on the form by the psychiatrist when applying so I chose 'schizophrenia' because that's an obvious and clearcut form of crazy.
As for "pathetic normal people" I didn't say I hated them. Their live normal lives just seem pretty sad and definitely not something can be lorded over the people here.
On a final note no I wouldn't be dead or starving I'd be homeless or institutionalized, both of which would cost taxpayers more. Or are you advocating suicide?
Yeah, I misunderstood what you meant. Sorry about that. While a normal routine for people can seem relatively depressing, it's as close to as good as it gets as currently possible for the average person. Things were shittier before and they are going to better compared to now in the future. I don't think there's anything sad about that.
>>4907>Without [non-neets] you'd probably [not exist]
You make that sound like a bad thing.
Yknow what's funny, the middle class wouldn't exist without the working class, but no one shows them the minimum of respect. Same logic with neets, why would they care
1.block all "entertainment media" like youtube reddit facebook instagram tiktok , i whould say delayed gratification (the google chrome plugin) can help , you may still want acess to youtube for tutorials without the recomandation feed so you dont get distracted , there are ways to remove recomandations from your youtube . i think the unhook (google chrome plugin) could help , i think Andrew Kirby even talked about something like this in a video titled "how to make your PC into a productivty beast" or something like that. If the 30 sec countdown every 2 min doesnt work there are plugins for quitting cold turkey (one of them litteraly being named "cold turkey").
2. Delete all videogames from your computer hard drive , if you want to go the extra mile , give the steam/epic whatever account/video games to someone else or sell them. This violates the steam/epic games contract and they will disable the account if they catch you but you dont play videogames anymore so who cares (other than the guy you sold it to)
Good job , you have removed all distractions from your computer (i think , perhaps there is something i left out idk)
I whould say selling the computer for money whould be a better ideea than destroying it because you also get some cash on the side , or just giving it to someone else. Also should be a last resort