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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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 No.5807

I just started uni a few months ago and I think after so many years of near social isolation from anyone but the few friends and family I did have I don't even know where to start anymore.
I haven't had a single meaningful conversation in two months and I haven't spoken to my room mate in over a week and I eat lunch alone every day. I feel like there's a brick wall between me and everyone else.
On top of all else I make an embarrassment of myself in a required public speaking class every week and now I'm more self conscious than ever.

It didn't really bother me to be alone before, living in a small rural town with few people I could relate to but now that there are so many people around me that even share similar interests to me its extremely overwhelming and I feel more alone than ever.

 No.5810

sounds almost exactly like my situation. like literally exactly my situation.

spooky that the one day I decide to revisit uboachan for the first time in a while i see a thread like this.

ill let you know if i reach some wisdom on the topic, but right now im as lost as you are pal

 No.5815

For all i know about making friends,bravery is an necesary component but it is totatlly useless if you lack luck.

 No.5911

tbh idk, the people in my life hurt me

 No.5912

I can't help you as I never had friends

 No.5924

>>5807
friends aren't something you can really force, but I'd suggest looking for clubs or activities to hang out in, if you're able. That is probably one of the more natural ways to put yourself into a social situation.

 No.5925

I always had issues talking about myself or my likes, so all I did was ask people about theirs, if I didn't like or wasn't interested in something I'd ask too. Sometimes I felt empathy and sometimes I didn't. As time passed I happened to surround me with extroverted people who were good at communicating their feelings and I think I learned some of that as I spent time with them.

A good thing is that they always tried to find new ways to offend eachother in a very friendly way. Sometimes things got a bit far but we all knew it was a risk we were taking, we took the hits anyway, and to be honest sometimes those words were right. This made us stronger in a sense, we became more aware of the perception people had about us, so we slowly improved, or at least knew about our lackings and tried to balance it in a way.

Eventually, I became good friends with a girl and we got into a relationship. She likes to talk about herself a lot, about the things she wants, clothes, the people at her job (I am still a -bad- student), her friends and all, which fills that void of my personality. All I have to do is listen. It makes me feel less lonely to be with her.

I used to be afraid of social interaction, but as I knew people more and more I noticed most of them were not that different. People feel embarassed even though you see they did fine. I still feel lonely sometimes –and I believe it's a feeling inherent to our generation– even if I'm surrounded with people but now I can go through it knowing I won't go down.



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