>>9567Anon you are young enough to seriously fix your problems. If you're under 18 and in high school go back to school, nomatter how hard it is do it, I have regretted not going to high school or even middle school my entire life and my 20s have been playing catchup socially the entire time. You. Do. Not. Have. To. Be. Me.
Even if you need to go for 3 years or something and will be the 21 year old graduate, it doesn't matter, do it. There's not as much of a difference between a 17 year old and a 19 year old or a 20 year old as you might think.
If your running from some kind of aweful social situation or that's what caused the mental health spiral, like real abuse I mean, research local charter schools and talk to your mom about it, she clearly cares. A lot of private schools, not fancy ones, are open open to public admission from their respective cities at no or low cost.
There's a sudbury school in my town I wish I knew about growing up because it would have been a perfect fit, and art charter school too, both would have been affordable.
Okay, enough about school. Why am I talking about school and why am I about to talk about jobs and or volunteering? Because again, You. Do. Not. Have. To. Be. Me.
Money isn't the only reason to work, socialization is the primary reason and something I wish I could bring myself to do. You don't want to end up the late 20s going on 30 neet. Even if you figure out a way to make money online or persist on neetbucks you will be missing out on vital socialization years of your life. It doesn't matter if you fuck up, it doesn't matter if you make a fool of yourself, literally none of it matters as long as no one gets physically hurt. If you fuck up just move on to a new group of people, new job, new whatever until you get better at it.
I'm autistic, I literally had to have if-then statements going in my head and repeat to myself not to say/do certain things around people and take constant mental notes on how others act, what they like, how to talk to people, etc but eventually it worked. Even if you're a total sperg you can socialize with normies and eventually socialize without such massive effort. It's like learning a new language, but it is a learnable language.
You are too damn young to be sitting around in your room being super depressed 24/7. Go out for walks, hang with mum, then make yourself do more, and more, gradually until going out for walks and hanging with mum are habit you don't have to put effort in. Eventually even hard things will become habitual. I still struggle with finding community, but I exercise, make art, have some friends, etc.
You can do this!!! If you're working through some really hard trauma right now and that's why your depressed, like family death, or abuse, or anything, I understand, it will be okay eventually. Let yourself breath, but seriously, breath outside, not in your bed all the time, it will make a difference, even if it's just a nightwalk.
I truly wish you all the best, I wish someone had told me these things when I was your age and they just didn't. You're an amazing person, you just have to let yourself be.
