/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>9338
If you don't mind me asking… what country are you from? I assume you're from Europe because of the "American retard" comment. I could be wrong though.

Your environment is a really big factor in your mental health. The everyone around you being unfriendly and living in dilapidated infrastructure part are telltale signs of poverty. That's probably where your depression comes from.

Remember if you ever want to get out your situation, it can only be through education. Education is what seperates people on the socioeconomic scale. You have to take greater pride in education, it serves a purpose in society. Think about what you want to do in life. When you find your focus, you'll start doing better in life. It's better than just rotting in imageboard threads.

Also, it helps to find a hobby or something. Good luck!

>>9339
I live in Australia (England but hot and somehow even more miserable). I live in suburbia with my parents. It's not that I live in poverty, it's just that all of the public infrastructure (footpaths, parking spaces, parks) is grey and miserable after years of economic austerity.

I've tried going through educations systems, but, as I've said, what's the point? How much harder can I try?

The only hobbies I have are playing osu! and Minecraft, as well as drawing fat furries. I've tried socialising, but everybody is just so unfriendly, and I'm not outgoing enough to attract them to me.

>>9340
>osu! and Minecraft
Are those the interests where people were unfriendly?
>grey and miserable after years of economic austerity
Yeah… I used to have a small terrarium to remind me what green looked like, it was nice

>>9346
No. Card games

I'm so alone.

There's no reprieve. I'm so alone. I want to cry. I'm a terrible person. We're all going to fade away into ash. I'm so alone. I hate myself. I'm useless. I'm so alone.

I wish I could find a rip of Persona 3 Reload online. Going to a normal high school is an experience I've never had and never will have.

I want a friend. I miss her.

>>9351
dw man we'll get a rip of reload eventually, much like every good thing in life, it is inevitable and worth surviving tomorrow for.

>>9352
There's something so beautiful about the samples used by the music. I tried Portable, but the washed-out colours and lake of overworld models for the hero made it feel surreal and hard to connect with. Same with FES. But Reload feels real. And the theming of the water, the feeling of endlessly falling upwards, is beautiful.

Dropped out of uni AGAIN

>>9370
i feel for you… do you want to talk about it?

t. persona 3 guy

>>9351
It's hard. Sometimes I'm strangled by loneliness. I understand where you're coming from, and if there was a remedy I'd be all for it. I guess we just need to bank on the hope that everything washes out eventually.

Things are looking quiet this month. Another morning slouching toward Gomorrah.

>>9372
Hey. Follow up from early last year. Got kicked out of the dogshit college course. But it's hard to care. It was really really bad, the kind of disappointing that makes you want to cry like you're looking at a dead baby animal.

I've been dealing with really really shitty feelings my whole life. I'm basically a delinquent; I got kicked out of one school every few years as a kid, and my parents always attributed blame onto me, which was fair enough I guess.
It kind of had the unintended side-effect of me feeling horrible about myself and taking responsibility for everything that went wrong.

I developed these random bouts of panic and anxiety. when I was about 11 or 12 I had a week-long breakdown where I felt the need to "confess" about everything bad I'd seen on the internet. literally anything, from shitty unity youtuber bait games from five nights at freddy's to Danganronpa to south park. It wasn't even anything nsfw/l. I also got these bouts of hypochondria surrounding my cock and ass. I was terrified that I wasn't showering properly or I was somehow ingrown or deformed. I was petrified of shitting or pissing my pants

This time last year, I gaslit myself into thinking i was a psychopathic pedophile after having sexual dreams about children. my psych thinks i was raped as a child, but that feels like such an easy way out, y'know? Like, oh, what a convenient explanation for why I've felt ambiently terrible and have been a shitty person since the age of 4! I'm probably just a disgusting autist retard (many such cases).

Thing is, it's kind of all a problem with me rather than my parents, (that is, on the premise that any of it can even be attributed to them reprimanding me).
They were kind of right to blame me for doing stuff wrong. It feels like they can be really rude but I think they're right when they say I can dish shit out but I can't take it.

I've got a tranny online friend who lives with her schizo autist abusive bogan dad, and it sounds really shitty but I kind of envy her. she actually has a reason to be miserable and feel pain all the time.

I befriended the jewish girl who works at the game store. She's really cool. She makes really cool EDH decks, and we talk about RPGs like DELTARUNE and Persona together. I even managed to clarify with her that she doesn't view me as some weird autistic charity case or think that I'm annoying, which was nice. She said she'd tell me if I was being annoying, which gives me huge comfort. I don't want to hurt my only "friend". I already feel like I'm hurting her by not being beautiful enough. I have a hormonal condition that fucks with basically my whole body, so I sweat way too fucking much. It's really embarrassing, and I worry about hurting those around me.

I want to tell her that I'm a tranny, but she might be too normie for the self-deprecating language and I'm really scared that she'll ask me for a new name, despite me being a hairy inbred moid. But it feels like I'm being strangled every time I think about rotting away. Even if I repress forever I still need to just get it out there.

I've been trying to engage with muh le art a little more. Drawing, maybe doing some sprites for a hypothetical RPGmaker game, watching character breakdowns and theories. But I keep feeling like the same way I do about being a tranny, like I'm drowning. There's so much information to digest and keep up to date on. I feel like I'm going to scream.

>>9352

I hope we get a persona 3 rip soon. I'm really really sad. I could play the original, but as I said, it's super surreal in a way that worsens the drowning feeling. I hope everyone else in this thread is doing OK. I'm going back to high school next week, at some sped school in the city. I hope it's good. I'm really scared of fucking things up. I hope it gives me enough to care about to the point where I do my best.

Sorry for the long schizopost, haha. Thanks for posting that image of Asriel and the human. Asriel makes me really happy. This sounds generationally gay, but I've been kind of living vicariously through trans asriel deltarune fanfiction. It makes me happy.

Best wishes to all of you. Sorry to bump such an old thread, but I feel like I'm going to scream. I love you guys. Thanks for all the kind words.

>>10184
I put the tripfag in the wrong field LMAO. sorry.

Man, I sound so much like lair4 anon. Sorry. Maybe he's my evil long-lost cousin.

I feel so miserable. In proportion to the amount of good stuff in my life, I must be once of the most gloomy, angry people alive.

The internet is untenable. it's weird to think that it was kind of once considered a divine escape from the misery of the outside world.

youtube serves you either the most chunky of normnegroid slop, with the same generic quirk chungus editing style, or hecking le small hidden gem indie channels (read: tiny prepubescent nigggers and spics using their mother's android). Finding new "cuntent", as the buzzword is now, feels impossible.
(Also, isn't the term "content creator" so fucking dystopian? once again point and laugh haha tranny, but the celeste dev was fucking right when he said it was a way to alienate people and corporatize the platform).

Discord is full of they/them annoyball retards and pajeets who make the same five edgy "jokes" and then screech at the slightest threat to their bubble of purity and "neurodivergency". Also, there's kind of this weird trend of grafting good imageboard culture onto the rotting stump of that dogshit website. Spiritually Israeli. It's effectively just poojeet/autist power fantasy simulator 2k17 (TM).

I would rather be raped than use reddit.

Most good altchans have gone to shit. Sushigirl is too much of a hugbox. Funnily enough after that rant, I sort of think having the discord tranny be replaced by some ESL fuck Uboachan-wise was a downgrade.
Maybe it doesn't help that the new owner has the humor of a concussed pig that was anally injected with the combined essence of fifty AVGN ytps.

I started new retardpills, which have made me feel especially misanthropic for no apparent reason. Fucking great.

It's nice that ubuu is still keeping on, in some small way.

>>9370
I wish the best for you, anon. I hope that even if you don't find a way back into uni, you at least find happiness in some small way. Best of luck.

>>9346
>>9352
>>9372

Once again, thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much to me. Uboachan is sometimes my favorite place in the world, and seeing your posts makes my day.