No, I can't relate, but I'm curious why you need someone to relate to? If you are trying to change, would having your feelings be validated be productive to your end goal? If you're going through hell, keep going, because if you stop here, you're really fucked.
I agree with this anon.
Based on your opening post I can't tell what you have tried and what you have failed to do.
Getting better isn't done at once but with slow steps like building up confidence gradually, taking your first few steps outside, slowly increasing your comfort zone.
But it's not a race, you can always try again, you know.
brudder, that is quite some time man.
I do believe that people can change but if you spent your past 11 years doing nothing then I doubt that society will care about you and have a place for you to become someone.
>>3791> I doubt that society will care about you and have a place for you to become someone.
Well that isn't very helpful.
>>3790>I can't tell what you have tried and what you have failed to do.
Recently i have been trying to fix my situation and myself by setting short term goals such as simply just trying to get out of the house clean eat right and to improve my social skills as i have awful social anxiety but when i try to motivate myself to do any of my short term goals ill. do them but then months will pass and i end up forgetting about them and just falling right back down the rabbit hole of the hikkki life that is what i meant by failing.
Have you tried writing them down?
This might be unreasonable advise, but maybe the path to your own mental health is the cut the abusive family members out, if that's possible for your situation.
Sometimes you need to cut some rotting fruit to save the tree. I hope things start to look up for you soon.
I knew that was what I had to do even before I turned neet. The fact that I'm still in the same position makes me feel like I've betrayed myself.
I've been planing to take an electrician course that takes place in a city far away from my town. I'd rather spend the whole week on the road than be at home.
Yes but that usually never works because I'll. Set it somewhere forget about it and then months later find it and not remember what it was for so I think it's just trash.
Put a reminder on something you use everday like your a file on your computer or a pin up thing on your screen.
If you use your smartphone everday, I'm sure there are reminder apps and to do lists.
Instead of just writing it down on a piece of paper, maybe you could make posters to remind yourself or put some kind of bulletin board on one of your bedroom's walls.
These could work.
Nice and passive aggressive!
>>3818>Nice and passive aggressive!
It's better to just not respond to someone like this, friends.
If you don't mind me asking, why did you become a hikkiomori? Or is that a really touchy subject for you? I find that venting in detail can help, at least a little bit.
You know I've been on uboachan for alot of years and yet I don't think I ever posted on this board, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
I have my anxieties too, for a couple of years I had some real problems talking to people without shitting my pants, I still feel like shit sometimes when i get put into uncomfotable situations, and there was a time when you could probably call me a hiki too, although the word hadn't really made it's way here by then, so I get the feeling. But I mean it doesn't get better if you don't do something about it, on the contrary it gets worse. i basically came hre to give my opinion on what alot of people here recommend in these situations. As I see it, this whole "small steps" method rarely works. "Building up confidence" is just a way to push the problem farther into the future. It's a way to fool yourself into thinking you are doing something about your problems when you're just making sure you can keep doing nothing but still feel good/better about yourself.
I recommend bigger changes. Small changes just makes you feel good for a while and then you usually just go back to the usual routine of doing fuck-all. I can say that from personal experience. When I was at my absolute lowest, I just said fuck it and got a job that forced me to talk to people. I obviously didn't want to, but I figured it's either that or continue downwards. I at least had that much knowledge of my own self. And you know, I think most people that had a good hard long think about themselves, as hikikimoris tend to have, feel the same, deep down. They know that making some small, largely inconsequential change to their routine isn't really going to get them out of their comfort zone enough to force them to change in the long run.
So, at first, I worked as a cleaner, it's not the number one job that requires social contact, but you do work with other people.
The first couple of months I was constantly dead tired. I hated the job, but it felt good to make some sort of progress. Now don't get me wrong, I was miserable, I wasn't exactly happy, but still, it did feel good to be able to talk sort of normally to people.
After a year or two of that I got a taxi license and drove that for a couple of years. I'd call that major progress. It wasn't as bad as being a cleaner, because by that point I was at least semi-normal. Obviously it's not a job that fits me at all, I hated it for most of the time. But again, it helped me overcome my problems.
I still feel most comfortable being alone, but I can at least behave like a normal person most of the time when I'm with other people. I'm still not a social person, I probably only have one person I can call a friend and that's a guy that I've known all my life. But to be honest thats enough for me.
So if you've been a shutin for more than ten years, you gotta be what, at least 25 years old? You've had plenty of time to sort out your hormones, give life a think, and figure out yourself. The tactic you're implementing now is obviously just an excuse you're using to make sure you can keep doing nothing. If you're actually serious about trying to do something about your life, I suggest you stop dillydallying and make some major changes.
>>3823>If you don't mind me asking, why did you become a hikkiomori?
Well the reason i became a hikki in the first place there are many reasons it started with me refusing to go to school and staying home some days just sulking in my room because i was getting bullied at school there also was tons of drama inside my family home and my family would pick on me my parents were also divorced by the way so i had to live in 2 different houses and i hated that in my early hikki years i never talked to my family and always had my meals delivered to me upstairs and set outside my room or put on my computer desk i just play online games or watch YouTube all day there was also a year of garbage in my room at my dads house which i didn't throw away until 2 years later as for my reasons being hikki well they are the following.
>Be bullied throughout both middle school and high school for having autism and being myself>Lots of drama going on inside family home (Will not go into detail)>Socially awkward>Hate going outside >Do not agree with a lot of things in this society.>Feel betrayed by own age peers because i was not socially accepted by them>Shit parents (Still love them to an extent though)>Closeted pedophile (Could never tell my parents i dont wanna be disowned for an attraction i did not choose nor dont like having) >To red pilled about the world to live a normalfag lifestyle i guess thats what happens when you're on the internet 24/7 >Hate most people>One part of me loves being alone, this part of me loves to get away from everything and everyone.>Feel protected when inside my room
Those are pretty much my reasons i guess also think my parents divorcing was probably also a contributing factor.
>>3824>So if you've been a shutin for more than ten years, you gotta be what, at least 25 years old?
Im 24 anon
>The tactic you're implementing now is obviously just an excuse you're using to make sure you can keep doing nothing
Wait a sec so what you're saying is that i actually want to continue being a hikikomori?? naawwhh i don't think so anon where in the hell did you get that idea??.
That's rough, really. I know it can be hard to understand, I have a hard time grasping it myself at times but the adult world is very different from school. I think you'd find a lot of acceptance now, and for the negative or embrassing shit, you can just hide that.
I don't think it is that easy anon.
Oh lord, I feel like i'm on /r9k/ or something. First of all anon, you have shit parents. Whatever affection you have for them is totally undeserved. If I just decided not to go to school my parents would probably just stop feeding me or make my life hell. Your parents are the kind that couldn't care less about their children. That's why you're such a fuck up. No offense, but it's true. I'm just trying to give you a wake up call.
>Feel betrayed by own age peers because i was not socially accepted by them
Eh, bullying isn't okay, but don't be one of those people who have deluded themselves into to thinking that they're entitled to gratification from other people. Don't be an elliot.
>Do not agree with a lot of things in this society.
>To red pilled about the world to live a normalfag lifestyle i guess thats what happens when you're on the internet 24/7
No it's not anon. That's what happens when you want to feel better about not contributing. There is no such thing as a perfect society because people are imperfect. Whatever grievances you have with society shouldn't get in the way of you being a well-adjusted person. Living a normalfag lifestyle does not make you a schmuck, it makes you functional. If you can't accept society, then live in the woods and stop being a burden on it. None of this is personal, but seriously anon, you can't blame others for your shortcomings. The kids who bullied you are not putting a gun to your head and forcing you to live an unfulfilling life.
>Closeted pedophile (Could never tell my parents i dont wanna be disowned for an attraction i did not choose nor dont like having)
Learn to accept yourself anon. Obviously you shouldn't tell anyone or molest any actual children, but stop living in shame. Sexual stuff like that is meant to stay behind closed doors, nobody has to know. I wish you luck anon, but I can't bring myself to whole-heatedly empathize with a robot. Also, try paying more attention to the way you write.
>>3829>you have shit parents>you're such a fuck up>No offense, but it's true.>don't be one of those people who have deluded themselves into to thinking that they're entitled to gratification from other people>live in the woods and stop being a burden>you can't blame others for your shortcomings.>I can't bring myself to whole-heatedly empathize with a robot.>try paying more attention to the way you write.
This man has been through serious shit, probably hates his life, and you are here beating him down in the name of self-righteousness? I award this post 3 out of 5 Hitlers.
>>3829>First of all anon, you have shit parents. Whatever affection you have for them is totally undeserved
Okay true but but maybe i'm not a sociopath.
>dont be an Elliot
What does that have to do with anything??.
>There is no such thing as a perfect society because people are imperfect. Whatever grievances you have with society shouldn't get in the way of you being a well-adjusted person. Living a normalfag lifestyle does not make you a schmuck, it makes you functional. If you can't accept society, then live in the woods
Well first of all no shit second i don't have to accept the rules of living in a collectivistic society that believes only stuff that media tells them if i don't want to i am my own person who just wants to get buy.
>The kids who bullied you are not putting a gun to your head and forcing you to live an unfulfilling life.
You obviously don't get it those bastards hurt me and are one of the reasons why i have bad social anxiety now i literally can't be around people who are more successful than me because ill. have an anxiety attack.
>You cant blame others for your shortcomings
But its their fault i didn't do anything all i wanted was to have friends and be accepted for who i am but that wasn't the case.
>Learn to accept yourself anon. Obviously you shouldn't tell anyone or molest any actual children, but stop living in shame. Sexual stuff like that is meant to stay behind closed doors, nobody has to know.
Well duh it is just a part of me that i do not like is all.
>I cant bring myself to whole-heatedly empathize with a robot.
>Implying robots dont use this board
Also i don't consider myself a full on robot as i am not a total sperg with women like Satou who was also a hikikomori but not a complete sperg with women.
>Watch how you type
Was there a thread like this on here before??.
Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Sometimes it's more comfortable taking the easy route even though the easy route makes you feel like shit. Your half-hearted attempts at change would indicate this.
I understand the feeling, making changes when you've been living like this for 11 years isn't easy, and that's precisely why you need a big change to get the ball rolling. Anxiety attacks or whatever is just something you will have to accept at first, but it'll get better with time.
Whether you believe what I'm saying is up to you, but here's my take on it, which I'm sharing because I can relate to you on the bullying and weird kinks/fetishes/double life bit.
As already said, a functioning adult worth their salt at worst are just going to rib you a little. As long as you can take the banter and understand that most adults aren't going to bully you to the point of feeling excluded then you'll be fine in most workplaces and just everyday life like shopping for food or going to the movies. That's the reason why I pointed out that the adult world is nothing like school. Because it isn't. I have an annoying stutter at times and only the shittiest people actually mock me for it. I tend to be awkward as well and people don't bully me for that either.
Most people will put in the work to be respectful, understanding, and tolerant. All you have to do is put in the work to be the same of them.
As far as weird fetishes, attractions, etc, why is it anyone's business but yours? I fap to futas, monster girls, and girls sticking their fingers/tongue in foreskin and yet, this never has to come up in normal conversations. I don't just talk about my obsession with sex toys for that matter either. And knowing how people are, I just assume people have weird kinks and hobbies too. Maybe my manager at work is really into scat play but if he does, he does a good job at hiding it.
Only people I see who get rejected are those who too proudly discuss their more TMI parts of themselves to anyone. I work with such a person, she just told me about how she loves gay guys making out and how she's an asexual, and how she loves the NSFW nature of the Undertale fandom, and once announced that she had to shove a tampon up her snatch.
I don't know, I know you said that you don't like being a pedophile, but just don't make your kinks/sexual attractions into your identity? Just don't be that guy in pic related.
8 years. Can confirm the feels. I wish I had an answer. At least you aren't alone. I'm in the same sinking boat.
yes I can relate OP
I just had this feel again today.
For the first time since october I cried again
in the shower so nobody can hear, like a little girl
I hate the fuckup I have become and I hate the person I am. I hate beeing a waste of oxygen and I wish I could drop dead.
It's 3:56AM. When the clock hits 3AM, my heart sinks and I freeze with hesitation. For the past month, I've been planning to visit the railroad, but I keep pushing the date for tomorrow, with an excuse every time. To be fair, I was exhausted each time. I'm exhausted now, in fact.
But it's not exhaustion, and it's not procrastination either; it's the instinct of self-preservation. It's very easy to plan suicide, but when the time comes it's not that simple to fight core human nature. I'll eat some coffee grindings and sleep in the morning. In the dead of night, the streets are empty.
Determination and will can overcome more than just instinct, and, of course, desperation always helps in this case. But humans aren't animals, or, they shouldn't be. I'm not a cornered rat; this is an act of dignity, not desperation. And I refuse to live in a world like this. They'll scrape my remains from the pavement, but they'll never have my soul.
Am I the only shut-in because of nothing but an existential crisis? Everything was going smooth in my life until I started feeling deeply dissatisfied and I dropped everything. I found my real reason to live when I started chasing my dream, but I realized that it was too late, "work hard and you'll get it" is a fucking lie, and the path is full of bullshit.
I don't know what to do. I wish I still had motivation to keep trying as hard as I used to, but I'm drained. All optimism reads like a lie.
I don't relate to OP, thankfully, but someone said adult life is not like highschool and I wanted to correct them. It's very much like highschool, only a more refined version of it.
Is there any good reason to go outside? All I can think of are four.
>To be with family pets
>To dress up
>To take photos
>To get food from places that don't do delivery
I hate the sun. Nature is beautiful, but I hate getting dirty, being surrounded by insects and sweating. I love my pets, but I never have the energy to play with them. It's nice to just exist in their presence and show them love, but not much else happens.
Everything just seems so fucking empty. I want to say it's because I'm an empty person, but I feel like I'm just in the wrong place. There's nothing here, in my country, for me. I never meet anyone I connect with in real life, only the internet. Every day, it feels like my dream of getting the fuck out of here is farther and farther away, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't really want to exist in meat space anymore. I wish I could just sink into my pillow, dissolve and wake up inside my computer. I'm sorry if this post is cringey.
same, jumped head first into community college and burnt out hard because I became very sick of being the only person in the whole building who cared. Everyone else was either there to get a credential or groom people for their credentials. I was there for science, and there was no science to be found. I fear there is very little science to be found in academia in general, or the corporate world. If their science is done purely for profit it's no science at all. Art might be a thing I could get into, I plastered my walls with charcoal drawings once. But with what money?
personally, I just have a problem with people. I absolutely love the outdoors, and loathe the artificial piece of shit s-word we live in. it's like "people-ness" incarnate
I'm finally getting out of that philosophical pit myself. From a secular perspective Einstein's theory of relativity could be taken as proof for a deterministic universe, implying that we don't have free will (this doesn't really matter tho,) destiny is real, and that eternalism is true. Time as our culture conceptualizes it is an illusion, it's simply how we perceive motion in the universe. In truth time "flows" both backwards and forwards infinitely and eternally meaning that our experience is immortal. Not in a literal sense, but literal immortality was always an illusion because life and death themselves are illusions.
If eternalism is true–we have no reason to doubt relativity as of now so it is–then that means that when we experience a preferable emotion like love, that love is experienced forever in that moment as the machinations of the universe run their deterministic formula for eternity. The inverse is also true, and "bad" experiences are eternal too. This is why it's all the more important that we seek and practice a moral and fulfilling existence so that our mark on the universe reflects well on our immortality. It doesn't matter that we don't have free will because we experience life as if we do. In that sense, should act as if it we do.
A Taoist might interpret this all and say that those who seek immortality in physical or illuminous form have not yet come to realizing the core-concepts of Taoism, as you only can endeavor to attain this kind of immortality, if you believe in the existence of time as as it is commonly understood. Only when people think reality is something that transits through time, does the desire to be physically or illiuminously immortal arise. More importantly, acceptance of one's place in the universe (the tao?) will lead to greater understanding, action and fulfillment. Acceptance =/= complacence, we can still change ourselves and act better when faced with adversarial or harmful conditions. Even when not challenged we can challenge our selves and strive for greater harmony in our being.
That's a rabbit hole to go down. I intend to read Heidegger's work at some point too as I've heard he also found a way out of this fatalistic pit of hyper-reductionist relativism.
>>6037>Excuse me, what? Einstein's theory of relativity is a mathematical model for the space-time continuum, in what way does it prove there isn't any free will? You just use it to model mechanics in a super precise way.
If TOR is true then all physical interactions from the atomic to the macroscopic and beyond are causal.
Consciousness arises through some process within the brains of certain animals.
Since the universe is causal; consciousness arises through causality, any "decision" made by a consciousness is predetermined by external inputs and internal feedback loops–themselves determined by external input prior.
Since consciousness is predetermined by causal relation no consciousness can express free will because every "decision" it makes is governed wholly by causal process in the same way that an apple falls from a tree.
Since Humans have consciousness, and are within the universe, human consciousness is governed by causality.
Therefore humans don't have free will as free will requires independence from causality.
Einstein was a philosophical determinist and the implications of relativity are that there is no free will. Einstein: >The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation cannot for a moment entertain the idea of a being who interferes in the course of events — that is, if he takes the hypothesis of causality really seriously. He has no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion. A God who rewards and punishes is inconceivable to him for the simple reason that a man's actions are determined by necessity, external and internal, so that in God's eyes he cannot be responsible, any more than an inanimate object is responsible for the motions it goes through. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_and_philosophical_views_of_Albert_Einstein
See third paragraph under section "Belief in an afterlife."
TOR is not just a tool. If it is an accurate conception of the mechanics of the universe–which there is no reason to currently doubt–it has very profound philosophical implications.
>>6038>If TOR is true then all physical interactions from the atomic to the macroscopic and beyond are causal.
Uh, TOR can't predict anything at atomic level. It's one of the biggest problems in modern physic; how to tie quantum physics with the macro physics of the universe. Also, not all stimuli from the external world is a consequence of a bunch of charged particles with mass running throughout space, humans are rather irrational and quite unpredictable. Laplace's demon theory is interesting as a thought experiment until you consider how modern physics works.
Those quotes by Einstein have nothing to do with the theory in on itself but with his view of the universe. The idea that the universe is deterministic comes from the fact that we can build mathematical models that are by nature deterministic, and what Einstein implies there is that we have to consider the universe deterministic because our models work well with that. But we also have probabilistic models such as the ones used in quantum physics, which don't cross with anything we can perceive in this universe; just because we *see* things it doesn't mean the things we don't see do not exist.
Determinism is just applicable within the model, but even then the model is not necessarily perfect on all cases in the real world. In fact, the model predicts things that aren't necessarily truth at all (the existence of negative mass, for example). Hell, check kirchoff laws and try to explain me why they don't work at high frequencies and how determinism works with any of that, it just doesn't make sense.
It just feels like philosophers love to cherrypick words and concepts without even understanding the underlying implications.
>>3825>Feel protected when inside my room
Same. You described my situation perfectly. I think social rejection will contribute to creating an avoidant personality.
>>3788>even trying after 11 years
Sounds like quarter or mid life crisis. Accept who you are.