tl;dr turning 20, was a neet starting 2013, got a taste of the good life last year, things fell out; lost job and got arrested, have no good job credentials and I'm losing my mind again living like a hikki in the middle of nowhere
First post here, bear with me. Let me start by saying I turn 20 in three days, and I live a few miles into the countryside next to a big city. Before July of last year, I was a NEET since my parents pulled me out of my junior year of high school. I got a job at Home Depot starting October of 2015 but my life was mostly restricted to work and homelife at that point. I tried networking with my coworkers but alas, it didn't go very far. I still don't have my driver's license, and HS homeschooling failed so no diploma. A bad weed experience and a bad DXM experience coupled with depression lead to some of the worst depersonalization I think I would ever experience and life was generally a depressing, chaotic mindfuck until midsummer last year.
Around July of last year, I started working out. I would also loiter in some public places like vape shops, and met my most recent best friend. I met some more people, some good, some bad like a few methheads and my ex gf, but overall I had a circle going. I was working out here and there still, was around friends and acquaintances, and even had a party here and there. I went over a year without playing any video games, got a tattoo, was meeting new people, unintentionally started NoFap, lost a lot of weight, smoked a lot of kush with good experiences, lost my virginity, got taken places like different cities by my circle, and while I lost my job due to the hecticness of my social life, I was constantly up to something and generally felt better and enjoyed life's adventures.
However, things started to crash around the beginning of the new year. Me and gf broke up, (not exactly anything bad tho kek) had a falling out at that time with my best friend, another good friend moved out of the city, and being jobless, I was left more or less broke. (I'd work temp work for some pocket cash here and there, but it's a pain in the ass to get on location and I was always left with less than $80 on any day.) I tried going back to school to give me something to do, but was arrested 3 weeks later after buying weed from someone there like an idiot, and was sent to alternative HS after I got out of jail on bail. The location was quite too far, and while I opted for a bus, the pickup time was way too early for my irresponsible ass to wake up in time. Needless to say, I missed more than a month of school, was disqualified for any credits, so I was like fuck it and dropped out. I also got a second job but my superiors were complete pricks, the pay sucked and my hours were always cut, and was fired not long after I asked for more hours. Since then, I've at least started talking to my best friend again, been more immersed in Dark Enlightenment (started redpilling in September; my newfound philosophy has me banned from facebook) and have been trying to get another job with no success. I have made progress towards getting my GED but still a ways to go. Otherwise, I'm back in the NEET hole. It's more or less a daily routine of video games, food, and fapping here or there.
I fucking hate it. I need money to get a form of transportation since summer is here and walking several miles along the highway, which I've done many times, out of the countryside to get to the nearest bus stop is absolutely brutal if not dangerous in the summer heat. The every day solace and lack of stimulation of a homebody drives me literally insane. I can't handle the depression, I can't handle the lack of achievement or activities. I'd fucking kill myself if I knew I had to live my whole life like this. Even worse, my parents seem oblivious, if not almost supportive of this problem as they condemn most ideas of escaping this lifestyle and do not support me much when it comes to seeing any friends or getting a job most places. Fuck, they don't even want me to get a job or a driver's license. Their idea of successful parenting is priming me to ship me off to college, and that's all. That shit doesn't fucking work! My sister has her HS diploma and now they're not even concerned with her future. Just like me, she doesn't even have her driver's license and she's 21. She at least works though and is in a relationship, and she doesn't have a criminal record like me.
Anyway, I'm not necessarily looking for validation like an emotional pussy. I want to get out. I don't know where to start if I can't get a job. I need advice, /hikki/, whether it's coping advice, dealing with depersonalization, getting a job, or something. I can't stay in rock bottom. I'm not meant for this lifestyle, and if I stay here, I'll only end up taking a knife to my throat.
I need help.
If you need to wake up earlier to accomplish things, wake up earlier. Most of this spiral is your own doing. Recognize bad decisions and choose not to make them. Set achievable goals and work towards them. Save up, study, get your license, get your own transportation. Take responsibility for your actions and move forward.
Ok man but Jesus Christ ok listen please
Not everyone is smart or always completely responsible for their own actions. It has a lot to do with environment and their upbringing
Any suggestions on how that can be fixed then?
Your first mistake was doing drugs and associating yourself with lowlifes. You become what you surround yourself with. A lot of that probably isn't your fault. You probably grew up in some shitty, suburban, American hellhole. You should try to get your criminal record expunged, if you can. The second most important thing to remember is that knowledge is power. If you want to move up in life, you have to buckle down and commit to learning things. Go back to school, spend free time in the library instead of with a bunch of druggies, read books, acquire skills, etc. Even if the transportation is a pain in the ass, it's better than being dead. Maybe night school is a good option for you. These are all things that anybody with a functioning brain is capable of, even later in life. Weed has been proven to harm memory and learning capacity for people under 25 though, so that might be a bit of a hindrance. You should definitely stop doing drugs. If you have to, try to replace that addiction with something less unhealthy like candy or bubble gum or even cigarettes because at least those don't fuck with your brain as much. You might want to consider becoming a telemarketer or some other job that doesn't look too closely at your records in the meantime to get some extra money. Fixing your gpa, is already a step in the right direction. One option is to first go to community college, fix your gpa, and then go to a proper college. If money is an issue, take a bank loan. You'll be stuck in a hole for most of your life after that, but at least you'll feel accomplished. Fixing your attitude is the most important part. Maybe you should tell your parents all of this. It would be hard, but some emotional support would be useful. It seems like you never really had the best relationship with them, they might even have held you back. Productive hobbies like art or programming or wood shop are a lot better for the mind than video games, so might want to consider making that change. If you went a year without any video games, you must not be that hooked on them. It might even be good to just smash your systems, if you have any, as a sign of moving on. Good luck, and don;t give up.
I spent the majority of my childhood having people try to "fix" me
Please don't do this, some people are "unfixable" by others
Wat? You asked for help, right? I'm not going to send you a check in the mail. You obviously can't be, "fixed", if you don't think that you can be. I didn't tell you to do anything that I thought you were incapable of or to erase everything about your personality. You can read, you can write, you have access to information, you have a brain, so use it. You also have a mouth, so you can talk to your parents. You can call them up right now and tell them that you like sucking the puss out of pimples if you wanted to.
I did not ask for help
>>3149>I need help
I'm assuming that you're op. If you say, "I need help", that implies that you are asking for help. That's one way that normal people ask for things. They say that they need them. That's how empathy works. I definitely can't fix you if you don't understand how normal, regular people think.
>>3145>It might even be good to just smash your systems, if you have any, as a sign of moving on.
Wouldn't it be more useful to just sell them instead?
Eh? Then why did you say >I spent the majority of my childhood having people try to "fix" me
if you're not op? I'm giving what op asked for so you can just shut the fuck up.
That hurts me emotionally and I wish you wouldn't talk in this way
I can see why so many people tried fixing you.
Smashing them has a more powerful impact.
OP here, can confirm you were not replying to me. (This is my first reply to this thread, as a matter of fact.) And you can tell this is OP; be prepared for another life story and an accompanying TL;DR.
To clarify, I do not smoke weed anymore, not just because of legal requirements but because of choosing. I do not use anything else either other than nicotine and alcohol. I would be open to smoking again once in a rare while when it's decriminalized/legal but I'm curbing away from the overall degeneracy altogether.
Also, I forgot to mention I am in the process of getting the crime expunged from my record.
At the time, I wasn't too concerned with my future success. Socially inept at the time I was in high school, I was more concerned with indulging myself in typical degenerate desires. Sex, drugs, partying and so on. It wasn't until very recently I made the decision to mature beyond that, believing there's more to life beyond shallow desires. Before, my lack of access to any of that made me desire it all the more. Now through exposure, I know better.
I do not believe in college. For a multitude of reasons political, but I'll only mention the financial aspect of it - to go into considerable debt with student loans for a degree in something that doesn't *guarantee* any sort of job security doesn't seem prosperous to me. Throw in the problem of education inflation and I have no faith in the "academia system." And even if a college graduate manages to make bigger figures in their salary, a good portion of that only goes back into paying off student loans.
Prospering is more of a matter of your actual, true skills; experience, and who you know. College degrees aren't as valuable as what we're taught to believe.
I literally have no idea how to get a decent job without knowing the right people alone. I don't know very many people; I don't know what avenue to find someone like a mentor. I'm not looking to ask people for handouts or welfare; I'm want to find a teacher or someone willing to give me an opportunity. I need a niche. Another proverb that goes around is "One must follow before they can lead." One notorious red pill is our lack of role models - leaders - in today's society. This contributes the growing NEET problem. I can read all the books in the world, know all the facts of life, but how would I be able apply this into the order of society without a niche? The answer is simply it isn't possible. It's like trying to sell a product without advertising.
I will say I do understand success and failure will technically be the fault of one's own choosing. With our upbringing and our environment, we have no choice. And that alone is a cosmological lottery. However, and again another red pill, what one makes of their own circumstances is their own choice. Environmentally, nothing improved since my parents had me yanked from school. I was naive, had no wisdom, and was fed mostly blue pill ideologues my entire life, again feeding the naivety. These past few years I've spent teaching myself about the reality of things and the way things work. No one taught me that other than the sources I sought. Not my parents, not any of my teachers, and not the cathedral's media. My original belief slowly died, left me with sheer nihilism, before finding a new belief system, again with new meaning.
Now I see how much of the system works. My only obstacle left is experiencing it, and learning to manipulate it for my benefit and, hopefully, also for the people of value in my life.
To put all that bluntly, I need to get "in." Again, I just need my niche. I need proper guidance. I just need to experience things now. College certainly isn't the answer. People always fall on that as a safety net nowadays, except it is an outdated way of thinking as it initially and only worked for the parents of today's millennials. Now it's just a false god that fucks today's younger generation in the ass.
In the mean time, I will not be able to afford transportation until I get this better form of employment. Anything towards the minimum wage spectrum will just leave me broke paying for insurance and either maintenance, or on payments. Or both. It's almost impossible on low pay unless one either gets a car provided by their parents or is a grease monkey who can repair an affordable, aging car from cheap scraps or other DIY methods. Others simply don't have a money problem because they have a niche.
I have no niche. I have no skills. I do not know the right people, and have no idea how to find them. I knew this was a problem before, and it will continue to be a problem for now. I wish somebody who solved this problem would only care to say how they did it.
TL;DR I was an idiot, now less of an idiot. College is a scam that will make you a debt slave with no guarantees on employment. Success is about the people you know and your experience. >Know nobody. No skills and completely naive on how to get in insider groups. Have never been able to solve this dilemma.
I know the saying goes knowledge is power, but honestly, it seems to me power is more about who you know and how much money you have. (Shit, that would explain all the jewish politicians.) Knowledge is just awareness of this.
I do not care for sentimental feelings of accomplishment. Considering my last post, getting a college degree would fulfill nothing for me as far as 'feelings' go. An accomplishment would be like getting a new car, a home, my first child, overthrowing the government or something like that. College degrees are just pieces of paper that cost way too goddamn much for something that just shows you sat through a class. That's it. And everyone plus their mother has one (market saturation -> education inflation) so it isn't what it's worth anymore. Again, college is a farce.
Oh, also, my credit score is fucked. I went full retard with a credit card. I see ways working around it and really, by the time I absolutely NEED a good credit score, (i.e. buying a house) I can most likely have it fixed by then. I'm honestly not that worried; it just means forget any more bank loans for a while, and I'm fine with that.
I've had a school councilor tell me before that my parents may very well be holding me back as well.
P.S. I have actually smashed my xbox 360 before. Specifically with a pick-axe. My sister was being a worst NEET than me at the time and I saw it as for her own well being. Since then, the family bought a new one. In other words, not my property.
But yeah, smashing game systems feels amazing.
>>3152>Good luck, and don;t give up.
Refusing to give up is the ultimate act of rebellion these days. The jews/elite would want us to give up. They'd want us to kill ourselves, become beta males or even go full MGTOW. Fuck them. Everyone should be looking to make progress and live the rich life to the very end.
I used to to think college was a scam too. I thought that since everyone has a college degree, they would be worthless.
Turns out, plenty of people don't have degrees or don't graduate. And it's not the greatest idea to go to school for employment. You get a job for employment. Go to school for an education. You don't have to go to school if you don't want to, but even as just an associate degree holder, I would personally recommend it.
The mentors, teachers, and people who will give you an opportunity exist there. Sure, they are not the best in the world, and they weren't at my school. But going to college helped me.
Yes, money is a problem. Time is also a problem and you can't make it back. If you go to college you will spend lots of money (tangible), but you will gain life experiences and the confidence of being an educated man (priceless).
It's a lot easier to get a job if you're educated, especially when it comes to white collar stuff. Why would anybody want to hire somebody who is ignorant? That slip of paper is proof of knowledge and commitment. It can't be payed for, you have to earn it(though you do need to pay for the opportunity to get it). A lot of the mentors op is looking for can be found in college. Professors have had profound effects on their students before. A lot of internships can also be found through college which count as experience. A lot of people can be met and connections be made there too. Colleges may suck the money out of you, but they're critical for finding a decent job. They don't guarantee anything in the sense of you being hired right after getting a degree(though this is practically the case with some professions), but they do give you a chance, otherwise you've got none because nobody would hire you.
Thought I should mention I work as a computer programmer. I spent several years of my life to get here and now I almost want to work at pizza hut
Actually I have no idea what my point is. What the fuck are my problems?
It's gotten to the point (at least in the USA) where the costs outweigh the benefits. There are better avenues to progress to high income levels without the horrendous debt burden. It's only really worth it if you have someone else footing the bill (through contacts, grants, or scholarships, never fukken loans; those will ream you 50x over)
Step one would probably be to get a minimum wage job somewhere until you can afford transportation. If you're living at home and don't really have rent/bills to pay, that's not as far out there as it seems. Even part time minimum wage would net you (provided you're in the US) at least $500/month, which would give you a decent down payment in about 6 months if you were putting some of it towards personal needs and food etc. Always test drive, and avoid "buy here pay here" scam lots. Might help to call up some local mechanics and see if any have specials where they'll look over a vehicle you're looking at, let you know what's going to need fixed or replaced in the short term, and give you fuel to use in bartering down the price. Usually you can get a dealer to take enough off after that to where it pays for itself, and it would steer you clear of any lemons. Then, it's simply fuel and routine oil changes, keeping a couple hundred in the bank in case of emergency repairs.
Once you have a car, you'd be able to expand your job search greatly and move up to something that pays better. A good start is call center work or data entry work, they don't require any advanced degrees, you can get full time of better-than-min-wage (tho not great, usually between $10 and $12/hr) with benefits, and network out from there to move up.
Source: School of Fukken' Hard Knocks