/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

i have hobbies, i like mostly recreating medieval things (not gay fantasy shit either), read a lot of visual novels and manga, and watch anime
its a bit overwhelming sometimes

I-

Learning html/css/javascript and maintaining a web page is a fun way to pass time

video game, movies, writing, smoking, doing research on random topics is what eats up most of my time. But i enjoy it.

>whats your list of things you wanna try?
<perfect comfort
>what did you try?
<to understand the world and people in it
>has anything made you change an opinion you once strongly had?
<the state of the world made me give up on politics, all that matters is i get my NEETbux as long as that exists, fuck polisperg shite.
>future plans changed?
<stay a NEET

sitting in my tiny room(3rd world cuntry) all day and complaining about how lonely I am

consume brainrot media. time will pass so fast you'll ask yourself where the last 10 years went

>>7859
This is actually a slight fear of mine I've started to obsess over how little I can decide my time is used for and it just makes me feel upset, especially considering 1/3 of my time not matter what is spent sleeping and aside from that I realize being on the internet is wasting my time anyways. Days go by way too quick and it just leads to existential dread and while most people are probably okay with it for some reason I just can't be its a weird purgatory based in my mind. I don't really think there is a way to cope with it, so I'm in this weird position of feeling

Lately mechwarrior, lots and lots of mechwarrior.

I do many things, but all can be described as 'using in the internet', and involve staring at the screen all day, which is basically my what I've been doing most the day, nearly every day, my whole adult life.

>>7859
>10 years
Next year will be 20 years since I've been out of school and been NEET. I used to walk around my quiet little town until things started to get really bad in the 2010s. I had a knife pulled out on me and I stopped going out as often. Then I almost got jumped and ran to the nearest store and asked if I could use a phone to call the police. Police did absolutely nothing. I stopped going out completely at this point as people were purposefully targeting me. Then found out through a cousin that I was being talked about over social media as someone they wanted to use as a punching bag to try to get a viral video going. During those times I got out I pretty much was always walking around by myself and I'd take a few pictures for a personal website I used to maintain where I just shared some various shots that I'd take of random things, flowers, and even figure photography. I used to carry toys with me which people thought was weird although I didn't care at that time. After going full recluse and staying inside all of the time I ended up just spending more time than I'd like to admit on imageboards, forums, and IRC. I still maintained a website but posted less and less on there. Eventually I stopped. I've thought about creating another personal page. Even if it's just a webring or just listing various things I come across on the internet. I just feel like I need to do really do something creative as it's just been too long. I used to edit AMVs, do little abstract videos, photography, drawings, paintings, and all sorts of things but for the last 10 years I just haven't. I've just got to the point where I'm too nervous to even take a single step outside of my door. There's always someone strung out on drugs just wondering around like a zombie at all hours of the day or night outside. The furthest I go from my home these days is when I take the trash out. I also like most here watch anime, other Japanese media/content, listen to music, and play video games. I spend probably a solid 14+ hours on my computer per day. It has been slightly less this month as I ended up digging out some of my old video game consoles from when I was younger and have been playing them. I don't get NEETbux but I help the person that I live with list stuff online to sell under their accounts. I haven't lived at home for almost 10 years now. I was kicked out due to my mental problems becoming too much for them to handle as they didn't understand or grasp what I was going through when I was being persecuted. Then not too long after my mom died and last I heard from the person I live with my dad does nothing but buys beer and lottery tickets just down the street from where we live. He never wanted much to do with me anyways and his alcoholism was a big reason why I grew up pretty much not even having a dad in the first place. He probably won't live too much longer anyways. He's in his late 70s now.

>>7859
I wish time would pass faster. Every week or so i find something new that makes life harder. At some point before I could at least laugh about my life but now I feel embarrassed thinking about what life has become for me. I've gone from not wanting to talk to people to not being able to.

>>7923
>I stopped going out completely at this point as people were purposefully targeting me. Then found out through a cousin that I was being talked about over social media as someone they wanted to use as a punching bag to try to get a viral video going.
I had to deal with that kinda stuff all throughout school, primary to high school. The worst part for me wasn't even that it happened, that no one tried to help me, it was just the sheer pathetic feeling of trying to come to terms with it. It's just embarrassing, all I feel is weak. Weakness isn't even a bad thing if you have something else going for you, whether it be beauty or ambition, but if you have nothing it all just feels incredibly pathetic.

>>7923
>his alcoholism was a big reason why I grew up pretty much not even having a dad in the first place. He probably won't live too much longer anyways

i feel you anon. i grew up in similar circumstances. i'm glad my father was able to stop drinking but i still feel like a broken person. oh well…

Sleeping, daydreaming, watching youtube videos. I want to do more but I always feel too tired and uninterested in doing anything else.

>>7938
my new roommates kind of like this, im wondering how i can break him out of it. we are both NEETs but i take a lot more walks and stuff (to go out and smoke or just think and daydream). feels like all he ever does is fool around on his computer and sleep.. not that i really mind but i'd like to see him a bit more active so he doesnt shrivel up mentally.

>>7939
i've become this person lately. i would love to get out more but i have a fear of being seen by other people. it has a lot do with shame for me. as if people will see me and immediately know how worthless and in-actionable i've become.

>>7923
any number of years really. i'm almost 30 and i can count all the things i did since i was twenty with two hands

I stare at the wall, sometimes the ceiling. Rest of the day I stare at my computer screen but dont actually do anything on it

i consoom media

I spend all my time on my hobbies. What else is there to do? Researching weapons, terrorism, demons, the occult, unsolved murders, mysterious deaths, ancient bronze age languages, replaying famous battles from the sengoku jidai with models.

>>7940
it's like people can see right through me. as soon as i open my mouth, they know they're dealing with a loser. some have the decency not to make snide remarks, but it's depressingly obvious how differently i'm treated. like a pest, a disgusting bug that needs to be dealt with. The Metamorphosis by Kafka hits too close to home.

>>7987
do these people know you're a neet? or are they random strangers?

>>7988
i had random strangers in mind when writing that post. situations like being treated differently from other shoppers at the checkout, stuff like that

>>7990
I know exactly what you mean. I get extra scared to go outside anywhere like grocery stores during typical working hours because then it's even more obvious that I'm a NEET. But I don't want to go out in the evenings when there's more people everywhere either.

I actually really like any sort of physical activity but it's hard to do much in a small apartment

>>7994
>I get extra scared to go outside anywhere like grocery stores during typical working hours because then it's even more obvious that I'm a NEET. But I don't want to go out in the evenings when there's more people everywhere either.
I usually go when the shop opens. It's always just full of elderly people. The only thing I'm worried about is how I shop at the same place, and buy the same food every single time. So even if they don't remember my face, when they see the same things lined in order I always think that they remember me. That's why I recently started to buy different things at the store, even if I don't really need them, to sort of confuse the clerks because it feels so pathetic otherwise.