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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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 No.5135

I'm a college student and I'm looking for work. I've lived a lot of my life as a shut-in, so I feel developmentally stunted in some ways. I guess people are impressed enough with my technical skills and software portfolio because I manage to get a decent number of interviews, but I haven't gotten hired for something related to the field I want to be in. I've gotten hired for shitty dead-end jobs in the past, but they have lower standards.

Basically, I think my social anxiety and awkwardness are holding me back. Even though my STEM education is good, people are put off by how awkward I am, so then they choose other applicants who are more confident, charismatic, and generally socially adept. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever hire me for a good job and I'll be doomed to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.

Any tips for getting better at socialization and job interviews?

 No.5136

Well, it would help if you told us more about how these interviews go down. Are you self-aware enough to know specifically what you did wrong? At the very least you should to smile. Not a big smile or anything like that, but just something to give the impression that you enjoy being there. Saying stuff like thanks for your time as you leave or something like that also helps. Maintaining eye-contact is also a must.

 No.5137

>>5136
> Are you self-aware enough to know specifically what you did wrong?
Yes. I agonize over the mistake I make.
>At the very least you should to smile.
I don't smile. I think it would look awkward or creepy. Someone like me is better off not smiling, I think.
>Saying stuff like thanks for your time as you leave or something like that also helps. Maintaining eye-contact is also a must.
I already do those things. I also sometimes do the strategy where you look at someone's forehead or eyebrows instead of directly into their eyes because eye contact can be difficult and awkward sometimes. And you have to look away every now and then so you're not staring.

 No.5138

>>5137
>I agonize over the mistake I make.
Well don't. Learn from them. People also care more about overall impressions than small stuff. If you're extremely nervous about screwing up, people can see that. Learn to distance yourself from the current situation and play it cool.
>I think it would look awkward or creepy.
Awkward and friendly is better than awkward and cold.
>forehead
Stop doing that. People can tell the difference. If somebody is talking to you, or you're talking to them, maintain eye contact. It's only staring if the room is silent, which it probably shouldn't be unless they ask you to write something. If there's two interviewers and they're talking to each other, just look in their general direction. Show them that you're attentive.

 No.5139

I'm going to a career fair with my friends this week. Any tips?

I don't think I can take it very seriously, since it's not like anyone is going to hire me anyway. But I will try to talk to people and hand out my resume even though there's probably like a 0% chance of me getting a job over the other applicants.

People keep talking about "skills shortages" but every single job I've applied to had a lot of applicants. This doesn't add up.

 No.5140

>>5138
>skills shortages
That's just an excuse they use to justify outsourcing. Career fairs and all of that crap have value because they allow you to schmooze and establish some kind of relationship with those people. Just make sure to leave an impression. Talk.

 No.5141

>>5140
Leaving impressions on people? Here's what I think will happen (if people remember me at all):
>Anon? You mean that really awkward guy who seems nervous all the time? Hell no, we're not gonna hire him. I don't care what kinds of software he's developed, he's weird as fuck.

 No.5142

Okay, here's how I see this situation.

I believe your biggest problem is not getting past the interview itself. You have to see beyond…

You have to be aware that not all programmers are like you, that is, (somewhat) socially awkward, but otherwise good people. Especially within bigger companies, there are just as many obnoxious shitheads and corporate bullies among them. And once they smell your fear, and especially once they realize that your skills are far beyond theirs, they will mercilessly unleash their shit on you. Are you ready to take on them? Or are you going to succumb to their bullshit and quit after a few months?

I believe the interviewers are aware of this, and that's why things happened how they happened. And it might be for your own good.

In view of all of this, have you ever thought about doing something other than, strictly speaking, software development? Something that you can still use your degree and your experience for, but is perhaps more solitary, or at least takes place in a less toxic environment? As in my opinion, an okay-ish pay and a peace of mind is far better than good money and living in constant angst and fear.

Sorry if I came off harsh, I just wanted to give my honest opinion. But I'm neither a programmer, nor I would be ever able to sit in an office for more than 2-3 hours a day, so feel free to ridicule me if I said something inappropriate.

 No.5146

>>5142
>In view of all of this, have you ever thought about doing something other than, strictly speaking, software development?
Like what, work at a grocery store? I've had dead-end jobs and they suck too. Why do you think different jobs are any better? I've had previous work experience and coworkers suck no matter where you go.

Also I gave out about 15 resumes at a job fair recently. I was anxious at first but my friend encouraged me and I managed to pull through.

 No.5147

>>5146 havent read the rest of the thread so being cautious here: but are you including the experience you had at these "dead end jobs?" whatever it is, however minor, if theres something you can take away from them. even if its just "friendly with customers" however basic it might come off as to you, it could help?

 No.5149

>>5147
actually never mind, the thread was shorter than i initially thought. sorry about that. Honestly the best advice i have for you is listen to what people tell you, and to keep truckin'

 No.5151

>>5146
>Like what, work at a grocery store?

You don't have to go to the other end of the extremes, there should be much more than that. I don't know where you live, and how is society and opportunities there, but, for example, you could be the IT guy/sysadmin of a small company or something.

>coworkers suck no matter where you go


Not necessarily. And again, within a hardcore software development company with braindead management, killer deadlines and never-ending workdays, the pressure is far more than it should be, which leads to even the nicer people behaving like shit most of the time. Let alone the ones who already have shit personalities to begin with…

>Also I gave out about 15 resumes at a job fair recently.


Nice work! So you're going somewhere already.

 No.5152

For me it's always the other way around. I can easily fake it during an interview, but after getting the job and working for a couple of weeks it becomes harder and harder to keep up the facade, to hide how much social situations stress me out. People get mad, if you hide your personality and won't let them get a grip on you.

Working in IT means teamwork all the time, especially in the beginning, when you have to frequent other people for help. Therefore it is wiser to choose the nice average guy who fits in rather than the edgy smart guy who lowers work ethics for all colleagues. Seems reasonable to me.

 No.5169

OP here. I landed some interviews and I'm doing more networking. Also, fun fact: if you have disabilities such as physical or mental health problems, there are government programs that can help you get a job. So far, all the interviews I have scheduled are for regular jobs, not for people who are disabled.

But let's say you're a typical hikki or NEET or whatever. If you talk to the right social services offices, they can help you find a work despite the fact that you have problems.

It's not either regular work or being a NEET. There are places out there that hire people who have problems. I am trying the traditional route first, but if that doesn't work, I know of a program that will help people like me get hired despite having mental issues.

There are also TECHNICALLY anti-discrimination laws that prevent people from barring you from employment based on disabilities, but it's bullshit and I doubt employers actually follow it. But the thing about some government programs is that they work with employers that are actively looking for disabled people to hire.



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