>>4870>I definitely don't buy into that. Maybe close relationships are important to health, but I already do lots of unhealthy things on a regular basis. I'm not going to force myself.https://www.ahsw.org.uk/userfiles/Research/Perspectives%20on%20Psychological%20Science-2015-Holt-Lunstad-227-37.pdf
>That's a pretty negative way to describe inner-monologging.
Well, I think it's the most truthful way to describe it, because that's essentially what it is.
>People should be thinking to themselves regardless of how much feedback they get from other people. It's not a bad thing.
You're right, it's not inherently a bad thing.
>I don't really see how the necessity for outside input necessarily connects to consistent relationships. I don't think you need one for the other. Even a book can provide outside influence. You're still intaking new information that comes from another person.
The fact is, you can tell yourself that that's how it is, but your brain still knows exactly what it wants, and if it wants deep and personal relationships with others then it will make you severely depressed, anxious and give you a mental hell until you get it what it wants - no matter how much you tell yourself that you can get everything you need from a book.
A book is quite simply not the same as socializing because it's not interactive, there's no back-and-forth exchange of ideas for both parties to affirm or challenge, imageboards, or writing letters or emails are things that more or less resemble socializing.
>That's what happened near every single time. What do you do then? It's not a fair deal if I have to bend over myself to keep people's attention. I don't want a, "deal".
You're asking to be able treat a relationship casually while getting total conviction from the other person, again, this isn't exactly what you'd call a mutual relationship, but I don't blame you, it's typical of people who feel like they were regularly wronged somehow by others, so they just start to invest less in people socially, but you have to remember, the other people you deal with also have to bend over, they also have to make an effort and they also might get hurt while doing so, it's not an easy thing even for them. It's like putting your hand out to someone to high-five and the person just ignores you, you know how embarrassing it is, right? But it's necessary for both parties to put themselves out there, potentially getting hurt in the process, in order to try to connect on some level, that's if you want to connect, and chances are, if you're depressed right now then you probably do.
Your hope is to find better people to socially invest in, as well as ways have ways to filter out assholes, don't make the mistake of becoming someone's best friend and giving them your all right off the bat, just do what you're doing right now and give people the exact same amount of social investment that they give you. If you don't want to interact with people at all anymore, then I don't know what else to say, this was just my advice for you, you can take it or leave it.
If you aren't familiar with what it is. Read up on the Hedgehog's dilemma, and also check out the research cited at the end of the article, lots of informative stuff.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma