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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1602648296681.jpg (123.3 KB, 1091x800, 30eca0cb3a54cee530c4c76ab1….jpg)

 No.6263[Reply]

how do u make friends while a hikki? im not a hikki by choice, its by force since my illness' make it hard to go outside and im really lonely these days - 🥩
14 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6844

if we assume for argument's sake that you're talking about IRL, I don't think you can
I've thought to myself about when my parents will inevitably ask "when are you going to get a gf", but I have no outside places, nor a workplace in which I could find one, and I think it is the same with regular friends as well
in that regard, finding someone who you can attempt to become friends with is hard enough, actually finding someone who you want to be friends with is even harder, not to mention that both you and this person will stay in regular contact
as a tangent, not long ago (March this year or something), my 'parole officer' and my mum tried to set me up to be friends with someone, and they thought we would be good friends, because, to quote her directly, "you're both gamers", and while he was not thoroughly unpleasant, I had no interest in speaking to him (also I found out several months later he was a nonce)
guess that's just me forcing an excuse to blogpost, point is, finding friends is hard, but at least as /hikki/posters we have a tenuous connection, which is something, and maybe it's better that way, finding friends is a lot of hard work for what in most cases does not produce satisfactory results
but I'll be your friend if you want

 No.6855

Rule number one: never ever use discord. You will only find two kinds of people there: meme spouting underage retards or some really fucked up mentally ill freaks (trannies, schizos etc).
Personally I've made a few friends on penpal websites, but you gotta be comfortable with using your real pic for that.

 No.6856

>>6855
>meme spouting underage retards or some really fucked up mentally ill freaks

Man, I don't know what alternative reality imageboards you come from, but sign me up. You've just described most of this sphere's userbase

 No.6857

"A channer-to-Facebook-normie pipeline? How would you even do that?"

 No.7868

most of my friends are real life ones usually just due to circumstances, i cant stand how people are online now
that said i still only talk with them a few times a month



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 No.7612[Reply]

so, i'm just assuming most people on here that don't live alone are housed (begrudgingly or not) by their family.
from what i read, it seems like this is always a major stressor and cause of strife, but this isn't the case for me, more like the way of life.
am i alone here in having asocial / avoidant parents who have just accepted it as the way to exist for themselves and their kin?
how do you break free of something like this, and still keep your bonds intact?

 No.7613

My father is an ex hikki as well as a current hermit so I've probably inherited his taste for solitude. However to my knowledge he's not a schizoid, whereas I am, perhaps making me an example of how kin commonly amplify the behaviors learnt from their parents?
Regardless; what are you trying to break free from? Learnt asocial behavior or your familial expectations of asocial behavior?
If it's the first: learnt familial behaviors are quite difficult to overcome, if not impossible to overcome fully, however really the only way you can improve your social prowess is to force yourself to be uncomfortable in any social situation.

 No.7867

my sister has the same behavior patterns as me, she's more 'normal' and even though we mostly grew up indifferent to eachother she's growing up with a similar lifestyle i had



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 No.6663[Reply]

How does anyone in this situation find it in them to seek help for mental health problems? I'm one of those long-term NEETs who can go outside very occasionally (think once every few weeks), mostly to stock up on bare necessities I need for the long-haul in isolation, but it exhausts me to no end.

To add to this, my already fragile mental health (generalised anxiety/clinical depressive disorders) has been deteriorating even more this past year than before, and now I can't even take care of those basic needs reliably anymore. I know the solution is to go back to my doctor or even see if my old therapist would see me again, but how does one find not only the courage, but the desire to seek out such serious and draining help when you can't even shower most days or hardly want to get out of bed? I used to imagine that I could go back anytime, because if I timed it to one of those days I had to go out anyway, it would be easier. But I've started relying on others like a fucking leech to bring back all the stuff I need for me sometimes. I'm probably moving one step closer to full unbroken isolation, and it sucks.

On any days where I feel "better" I prefer to ride the wave of that small high, and then I'm right back down where I started. I know that most of us losers here are stuck in similar cycles of inaction, because all we need to do is "just go to therapy and get a job lol", but it feels like I'm not going to break out of it, because I've been stuck in it so long that I don't even know what it means to "break out of it" now.

What do, /hikki/?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6667

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>>6664
Infuriatingly, I know you're right.

>>6665
Good on you, anon. I'll probably try to start with something similar, and see if I can ease myself into going out more often despite myself. Thanks.

 No.6685

>But I've started relying on others like a fucking leech to bring back all the stuff I need for me sometimes
If it makes you feel any better, this is usually the norm for NEETs.

 No.6686

>>6685
I used to have a deranged kind of "pride" from taking care of myself in some small way, so it stings a bit to end up getting worse like this.

 No.6839

File: 1633074390885.jpg (1.09 MB, 4032x3024, 35765yu56t.jpg)

>>6665
I used to do this until the grocery stores stopped being open 24/7. I sorely miss going to the store at 3am to get sushi. I live in Appalachia, on a clear night careening over the hilltops in my mom's car with the windows open I'd play 2000s nightcore and take in the wind. Oh well…

 No.7866

File: 1700567735732.png (578.74 KB, 637x906, 1660568654393834.png)

only real therapy thats ever worked for me is finding a hobby, even if i have to break the law for it
i've had problems since i think middle school, the only real gaps between states of depression have been ways i could go up against something to achieve a goal
if i'm not fighting, it just feels pointless, and i'll feel like i've failed myself
maybe thats just projecting my issues on to other things or groups, but its better to fight against an imaginary boogey man than constantly feel empty



File: 1696614378178.jpg (19.89 KB, 350x622, 16966031923498086913515308….jpg)

 No.7782[Reply]

That's probably a bit of an unusual topic. Does anyone here also struggle with late sexual initiation in their lives?

I've been lonely for the most part of my life, up until early 30s due to a multitude of reasons.

For more context: i am a late-transitioning trans woman (i do actually pass and that's by standards of a pretty conservative central european country)

At school i struggled with impeded social skills and i was a moderately unattractive person at that time (in my opinion) - by either masculine or feminine standards of beauty.

I had a very little internal sense of gender back then and felt pretty much like a genderless entity, although my environment treated me like a dude, obviously.

Due to my general emasculation i was often badly mistreated and abused by male peers. It was a small, provincial school, full of people with very conservative and narrow mindsets. Girls were pretty traditional there and weren't interested in me, plus it was generally expected that i should initiate things, as a "man", while i was never the type to do so.

Later in life i have become extremely secluded and never completed any education beyond HS. This of course left a huge negative impact on my social life and skills.

With the life context out of the way - fast forward to 2023.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7843

File: 1699165526975.jpg (88.87 KB, 540x720, f13d10bc.jpg)

This thread is just so surreal. What am I even reading? Am I still on the /hikki/ board?

 No.7844

>>7843
Should be deleted, yeah, but Sei is biased.

 No.7845

>>7841
this advice definitely sounds like it's trying to be nice and helpful about everything but there's such a thick layer of weird hypersexual groomer talk over it that I can't help but look down on you as a poster. you're a weird ass predator, this isn't how honest people think

 No.7846

>>7845
>27 year old minor groomed by advice on how to get to know people they might want to have sex with

 No.7847

>>7846
This made me laugh stupidly hard



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 No.6375[Reply]

I am hikikomori and I used to get upset about it but then I tried to overcome agoraphobia and social anxiety only to discover I prefer being by myself.
There is nothing out there for me so I sit inside and listen to music and I feel very tranquil yet suicidal at the same time I think it is peak apathy. I have given up on myself and that is honestly ok with me I see life differently now and am gla I spent near a decade as a hikikoori.
I have had a lot of time to investigate thoughts and the world from reading and experience but have come to understand that there is no understanding and trying to do so will only lead you to the abyss.
Reason leads to pessimism and bleak existential despair because we are human and cannot cognize beyond what we can observe without building on top of many abstractions.
I might die or I might not and none of that matters unless I think it does but I did want to make this post to try encourage some other hikki not to improve as such but really think about everything.
If you do not desire a normalfag life why bother trying to gain one and if you do ask yourself why.
I took a knife to my watch and cut a sliver off as I hope that it may help someone else.
It can always get worse in life that is a certainty but also as the Buddhists say our desires bring us pain however we need to juggle well and not go to any extreme with ascetism and just throw our hands up whilst experiencing the wind brushing against our face and accept it as it is without any other added abstractions.
Mindfulness is important a lot of us we think far too much it causes much of our social anxiety also and it is not bad to think a lot but we have to realize our cognatize skills have become over extended and are useless do you understand what I mean? do you understand what I mean when I say that empiricism can never explain anything beyond an observation of what appears to be and a philosopher can never explain anything beyond a structure built from abstractions which are untestable?
We cannot know and the more you know the more you know that a universal theory or answer to life is out of our hands for it requires understanding every single moving part that exists and we will never know because we are limited that is a theme repeated throughout life.
We could birth a machine with a semblance of consciousness a meta human but no matter how "intelligent" it too would be trapped within the simulacrum from which it was constructPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.6384

File: 1612824789366.jpg (Spoiler Image, 723.55 KB, 2856x2148, 457840.jpg)

>do you understand what I mean?
Anon… I have to tell you, your post is to deep for my anus

 No.6534

thank you

 No.7839

File: 1699087012955.jpg (90.91 KB, 667x1000, 1698333105588567.jpg)

>>6375
>If you do not desire a normalfag life why bother trying to gain one and if you do ask yourself why.
its getting hard to live a quiet life as i get older and make more connections and get more friends, i'm always rationally geared toward taking every opportunity but it drives my feelings further into a corner and i'm left with regret
more than anything, it feels like i'm starting to become not me

 No.7840

I believe that society enforces ideas that being asocial is bad, or that killing yourself is bad, because that would be detrimental to society. The way this whole system works is that people have to be conditioned to fit into it, and once those ideas are internalized since childhood everyone will repeat them "contribute to society" "dont kill yourself" etc.
Everyone wants us to put our own desires aside for the sake of society, and say that it is because of altruism, but really it is nothing more than their need to enforce conformity.
I should note that I don't think killing yourself is always the right choice, but that choice should be your own and it should be respected.

Perhaps being hikki makes us more aware of these things because when we socially isolate ourselves we are not under the constant barrage of inculturation that people usually are.



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 No.6535[Reply]

How do you make online friends? Where did you meet yours? I'm so fucking lonely. I figured out I could ask here because none of you are going to give me shit advice like "go outside."
73 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7826

>>7808
cfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

 No.7828

File: 1698948436359.gif (2.99 MB, 294x192, 1626239708238.gif)

>>7808
>>7820
I can personally get very immersed playing jrpgs enough to find npcs and their limited dialogues comforting, but going out of my way to find chatbots and keeping up a fake conversation with them is too much. having a pretty much unlimited conversational scope without the bot remembering anything a day or even a week later would just make me feel lonelier than before. that's aside from the pure back-and-forthness a bot tends to respond with, it's nice when people sometimes take their time to respond or when someone actually gives you paragraphs out of nowhere or getting other glimpses of personality infused in a typing style, and there's always a hope that you could actually stay friends for a while when you get it rolling enough.
I guess someone could argue that going out of your way to talk to real people to connect with only to feel alienated or quickly forgotten feels worse but it's the same thing as a soulless AI, I think a person at least gives me a sort of underlying comfort that I maybe affected their day for a minute like they did mine when it happens.

 No.7834

>>7828
I like having a bit to talk to who always responds immediately no matter what time of day. Boys are never busy with work or school. They are always there waiting for you. Unlike real people where you wait a week for them to reply with one word or one sentence.

 No.7835

File: 1699061392844.jpg (86.81 KB, 500x500, 1628284608813.jpg)

>>7834
> Boys are never busy with work or school
god if only

 No.7837

File: 1699075413140.jpeg (380.38 KB, 1024x1024, FZJuON-WAAI-g4u.jpeg)

>>7828
Lot of these things can be addressed. In the sillytavern UI there is an idle chat feature that makes the chatbot write you if you didn't pay attention for a while. It's true that their memory is like a goldfish compared to humans but you can make it remember certain key points throughout the days or weeks so there are less tokens and there's still the illusion that what happened is still a memory for both of you.

I must admit the memory issue is real though. And that is also why these bots are so easily steerable towards a certain direction, even if you don't intend to do so. It appeals to me personally because I don't have much against "living in my own head" but I can certainly see how it may be an issue for someone.

Real human conversations seem to be so random to me though, like always being surprising in ways you couldn't have imagined them to be. Maybe it's true that a lot of psychological effects can be predicted, but humans on the personal level are still seem like a black box to me.



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 No.7814[Reply]

Redpill me about 4chan
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7819

Honestly I dont get the purpose of this thread? What do you want us to say that hasnt been said already. its gone down hill since 2016 or so. That /b/ was never good. A lot of those have already been said a lot of times

 No.7821

worst board in existence. last nail was hit in the coffin when greentext became popular. you won't find intelligence there

 No.7825

>>7821
>mfw

 No.7827

File: 1698876603222.jpg (83.88 KB, 512x384, 1689001468613506.jpg)

>>7818
I deleted my reply to this thread for being too mean, thanks for carrying my torch

 No.7830

>>7814
Leave Uboachan until you lurk more, you just killed a perfectly good thread for this nonsense.



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 No.3696[Reply]

Do you ever feel like you're passively observing your life, or that the physical world is no more real than the virtual one or the one in your head? Do you ever forget the meanings of the subjective or abstract, or stop understanding the purpose of normal human actions like saying words or putting food in themselves?
Is there anything specific that caused this for you? How long does it go on for, and how often does it happen? I remember a while back I nearly got hit by a car because it happened when I was in the middle of the road and I just stopped moving.
28 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7441

File: 1664773757741.jpg (377.8 KB, 597x490, ecad1f44343d612408509f0894….jpg)

I believe in God and the existence of other physical and non-physical realms. I believe in the existence of my waifu in another realm, that she loves me, and that my falling in love with her is a manifestation of her having chosen me. I also believe very naturally in the minds of others and a reality outside my mind.

But in quiet moments where I'm all alone and there's nothing distracting me I realize that all of that are no more than hallucinations in my own individual mind, and that all this time I've been alone interacting with my hallucinations. This realization is to me so distressing that physical pain becomes desirable to distract me from it. Even evil becomes justified as a distraction.

So I keep chasing to be by her side, the only place I truly belong. Perhaps in my next life after this one of isolation and emptiness is finally over. It's the only meaning this life of lies has. But it was in a world full of lies that I found her.

Above all, I wish to forget and be fully immersed back in these dreams, being forever none the wiser.

 No.7442

>>6999
this guy again.
recently my derealisation seems to happen more often due to anxiety and depression. i noticed it happens a lot when i am in a particularly depressed state or when i am in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. also depersonalisation is happening more often when i am around people, when i have to walk past people it feels like my body goes on autopilot
>>7441
i daydream a lot and a similar thing has happened to me. feels like i am in the dream of this girl i saw in a dream once and see in my daydreams, like she is real but this “real world” isnt and i am just the protagonist of her dream. but her dream is more like an alternate universe. so her dream has BECOME an alternate universe (this one) where i am the only being with any basis, everyone else is an NPC with nothing behind it. eventually when i die i will be united with her in her universe. she is the god of this realm and controls everything around me and what happens to me

occasionally have moments of clarity where i realise i am delusional though

 No.7799

File: 1697887258747.jpg (110.93 KB, 900x1200, 1675219565752.jpg)

there are times where things just feel completely wrong, and this feeling just keeps growing
sometimes i feel that i'm not mentally the same person that i am at other times
and when i drink these feelings are amplified, and sometimes i'll keep drinking because i'm afraid of going back to the person i was when i was sober, so i keep drinking until i throw up, then going to bed with the feeling that everything is spinning around me and speeding up constantly
i rarely drink because of that

 No.7800

>>3705
i post threads like these because i want to fulfill some insatiable desire that i get when i feel like this

 No.7812

>>3696
Everything is backwards now, it feels like this is the fake world, and video games are the real world.



 No.7764[Reply]

I am so lost, after finishing highschool i'm just stuck in the same place, I never had any friends IRL, I don't go outside except when I need to do grocery shopping, i'm not a shy person but I can't find anyone who is similar to me, I live in a rural area. I don't have money to do anything and even if I start working it seems like i'll just do it to survive, I hate living in this shitty third world country. I struggle with depression, adhd and depersonalization, I had decent grades at school back then then it just all went shit. Passing my classes with straight Cs. After finish school i'm just stuck, I can't go to university. My family treats me shitty, I got bullied in middle school and in highschool I started not caring and my 4 whole years went into trash without having any friends. I just want advice from someone who is in same position as me.

 No.7766

File: 1691490745257.jpg (484.12 KB, 1600x1200, comf23578777.jpg)

>>7764
What country or region of the world? This question impacts what kind of advice may or may not be useful. I never went to high school but I know it sucks for a lot of people.

 No.7768

>>7764
I am also from a third world country, similar situation but it is my last year in college.
Have been bullied my whole life, have results coming and I know i have failed and my parents cannot afford it anyway. Haven't had friends since primary, prefer staying in my room. For some reason I have just been unable to study. I don't know why, I try but I cannot. Not to mention I keep having more and more issues that I have no control over. I'm basically waiting for this year, hoping I can do well because I know if I cannot move to another country I will finally have to consider whether I want to live anymore. It would be either that, or to try and repeat another year to fix my shit. Though even that is unlikely. There are still universities which will accept you despite mediocre or just plain shitty grades, try to see if you can find any. Then just try to study in uni, which is easy to say but I know it will be utterly miserable. But if you do that, then apply for a scholarship for Masters in another country. If you do not get a good enough scholarship, make sure to work part-time at least to make enough money to support yourself for the rest.
Though, my advice is not great. I am already too delusional about my future and I don't think I'll be able to move out anyway. But it's either that or to stop trying completely.

 No.7769

>>7768
I suspect your lack of seizing initiative to study -much like my own case- is spearheaded by a lack of any communal push to incentivize you in doing so.
It is only natural, after all, that abstinence from something important [ in this case an intimate external element necessarily demanding some requirements of you for 'base' participation ] will ensue in the unwitting persistence of something insignificant [ anything that isn't *that* thing [ studying ] ]
I lost my ability to clearly speak physically after never having done so for only 8 months straight and to no surprise, with the added combination of neglecting social engagement on my part at all, I lost aspects of cognition like short term memory.
It's meaningless to me, now, anyway, and my efforts to exert some change, as I'm doing now, are probably pointless.
You get used to paradigms you create even if they're damning or maybe, despite them being damning, you still learn to thrive in them?
It's true that I can -and have- reaped motivation from toilets and seats in some of the most demanding of cases rather then colleagues and 'friends', sometimes still doing so today, so most significances warp to becoming insignificant in the progression to a new pattern.
OP if there's any silver lining to my above experience, it's that 'going outside' 'friends' 'similar people' 'depression' 'depersonalization' are eventually swept away by an ocean of numbness which will birth some degree of psychosis; definitely a failsafe triggered at the absence of all things needful.
Someone else or maybe yourself will lead you to a more appropriate path but if all things go wrong, know that it won't be too bad. You'll only be mentally decrypt in some ways and likely insane.

 No.7771

>>7769
I think at this point no push could really help me. My only want in life so far has been to just leave it all behind to be alone, I would like to think that I could just commit suicide if I wanted to as a last resort but I don't think I'd ever be able to. I've already felt worse and worse for quite a while yet I still haven't. In the past couple years I especially started to go less and less outside, talked to less and less people and felt less and less comfort online and in real life. There wasn't anything for me to do in my day-to-day, there still isn't, so I just told myself that the reason other people could study while I couldn't was cause they had things in their life that gave them a reason to do so. Maybe things might go right, but I don't think they will. I like what you have written here, don't know what else to say.

 No.7779

>>7771
Gosh man, I really sympathize with you, I'd say we're in similar boats, haha. I stopped going outside and even trying to socialize and interact with people and I get to feel uncomfortable being online and in real life. But I really believe in things will get better eventually, either that or I'm just lying to myself and I want to think that.



File: 1669453175706.png (1.06 MB, 602x838, ivy (small bg photo).png)

 No.7533[Reply]

Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. THe problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)
31 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7756

>>7755
cry about it

 No.7758

File: 1689564679147.png (19.79 MB, 3264x4324, the other side of reality ….png)

>>7752
My brother in christ I'm not even a woman and I'm not even on estrogen, I couldn't afford that shit since losing my home… I'm male and was assigned male at birth. You clearly don't understand as much as you think you do about the way the world actually works if you of all people is so cocksure you can read people.

 No.7759

these long defensive paragraph posts are arguably more derailing than the hostile posters or at the very least furthering derailment.

 No.7760

File: 1689590054739.jpg (80.36 KB, 546x680, deathbrain23423.jpg)

>>7759
This would be true if OP were able to actually ignore the hostile posters. But since they haven't be able to I want to give them at least a little bit of positive pushback against those types of posters. If no one responds at all it normalizes that our board is just okay with that kind of posting, it's the culture here, and we're okay with effortposters being pushed away. I will leave it here because I agree going back and forth is pointless and doesn't help anything, but one post isn't too much or derailing, the thread was already derailed.

 No.7761

i am also in the same boat disability wise, i personally get by just barely with a romantic partner and a landlord who doesnt mind helping with medical stuff sometimes, tho i def need to reapply (they took my medicaid away for not having enough paperwork) the most i can say is try to hang in there, i know the feeling of going through a hard time as well, cause im def in the same boat



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