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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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>basically didn't leave my home during middle-school because bullying, depressed

>2~3 year of highschool were the best, actually made some friends and hang out with them

>got into college, was so motivated and happy

>my high school friends stop talking to me

>some only talk to me when they want something and when I try to talk to them they ignore me, so I don't know if they are my friends anymore

>start becoming lonely and depressed

>doesn't even have friends on the internet

>doing well in college but at the expense of my sanity

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honestly I just feel awful, I just want some friends to hang out with and some money to live decently, nothing too crazy


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>Have friends in elementary
>No friends in middle school
>No friends in high school
>In college no friends
>"It's okay i'll just make friends on the internet"
>no internet friends
making friends is hard and confusing and its worse because of the virus @_@



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Do you have any unusual aspirations that you did not have outside of NEETdom?

I have been getting some very strange longings to become a street artist. I've even been creating stencils and posters that I will never put up. I guess the optimistic viewpoint is that I've been released from wage slavery and now want to do something real and exciting with my life, but its never going to happen anyway because I'm too scared of the police so I mostly just sleep and kill myself.

I also want to wear a cloak and sword and go on a Hobbit style adventure, but…
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You should draw propaganda for an arbitrary group of extremists. They soon will be glad to find you just working on some dick sketches.
>like to check in on me often
Wtf! Are you on suicide watch?


What at night? Unless you're actually a ten year-old that is creepy as fuck and you should ask them to stop. Hell, even if you are ten they should at least knock first.
Wtf! Are you on suicide watch?

They think it's normal to check in on your adult kid 24/7. I told them countless times to stop, but nothing has changed. I can't argue with them either because "it's their house and as long as I live here, I'll have to obey their rules".


You should focus on moving out first. Or at least pay rent and argue that gives you the right to privacy. Does your door even have a lock?



If your door doesn't have a lock, install one. The peace of mind of having a lock on your door, just for privacy's sake, is incredible.


>have lock
>parents just bang their body into the door like retards
(im not the anon you were talking to)
Most of the time it's nothing urgent, they just want to harass me

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Recently i lost all my friends including internet ones too. So i've been feeling pretty frustrated. Usually i loved spending time on my own and denied people in meetings just because i changed my mind. But since my internet friend got a gf (we were tight about 3 years) , i argued with my the only one irl friend and worldwide known pandemic got to my hometown i (surprisingly) have nobody to share my feelings with. How to enjoy your own company without knowing that you always have a"pillow of safety" in the form of friends?


I don't understand why you need IRL friends when you have the internet…


Understanding your relationship with your friends is about as fun as sliding you're cock into a zebra


I dunno man. I'm in a similar situation. Conversations online aren't visceral enough for me. My own company is the same old. I have seen that the best things in my life ultimately happen from being in the presence of others.

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post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
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I have intestinal issues, whenever I eat I have to lie down because of the pain. Great thing to have in addition to depression.


I'm starting to have issues with high iron, high cholesterol, high sugar, chest pains, breathing problems, fatigue, and insomnia. It doesn't help that I have plenty of mental problems. I've tried to go to a therapist before but I always freak out and can't handle it. I wouldn't go out of the house even to a doctor's appointment until recently which is literally the only place I go when I leave the house. It's been this way for about two years now. I've been trying to eat better in terms of my diet. I cut soda, have been eating more fruits as well as vegetables, and decreased eating red meat. I've been having a problem drinking more coffee now though in place of not drinking soda though. But I've had insomnia problems LONG before I even touched a cup of coffee. Ironically sometimes after drinking a cup of coffee and having a long piss session afterwards it'll put me right to sleep. Funny how coffee puts me to sleep sometimes and melatonin keeps me up for days.


I relapsed health wise and my dad is here minding me but I'm still doing pretty well

The 1 bedroom flat is fucking terrible but it'll do until a few months when I get a new place

Making lots of music now



Have a new place now holed up for Corona
Also a gf which is nice although she's very energy sapping makes it hard to pace myself


Recovering from some sort of foot infection thing.
Been on anti-biotics for like 9 days.

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Have any of you ever experienced ego death? It was such a terrifying but also very eye opening experience for me. I ended up going outside for the first time in a couple of years the day afterwards. Couldn't even get my own groceries, couldn't even get near the front door… I know it's not all simply solved now, I'm still going to have some issues, but for the first time in my life I finally feel grateful to be alive, and it's such an amazing feeling. I think I'm finally on the path to escaping this hellscape of agoraphobia.
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Here's someone who's never experienced ego death.



here's another lol


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and another one

Ego death can be euphoric, but it's not the same as euphoria. It's the complete loss of the sense of self caused by total suppression of short-term and long-term memory access. During ego death you observe the world around you without any concept of your past or identity. It's a very bizarre feeling. The euphoria comes from the total abandonment of your usual mental and emotional burdens during the experience, and it can be very inspiring in retrospect.


Maybe your soul expired…


you can do that kind of thing through practicing meditation , no need for drugs

In OP's story he's clearly just chasing the purple dragon

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I'm sure many of you know this feel:

>Realize you need to go somewhere with your life or everything will end horribly when you least expect it to

>Attempt to get something done

>If not 5 minutes later, you are eventually hit by a varying intense level of depression while attempting to do whatever task you decided, as if by facing your life, you can no longer not face how you are feeling.

>end up going back to the computer to distract yourself from the pain after only getting 1 thing done if you are lucky.

For any former NEETs here, how the fuck did you get past this? I feel the more I force myself to endure the depression the more depressed I get and the harder it is to get shit done, as fucking pretentious edgelordriffic as that unintentionally sounds.
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As a former NEET that put himself into a situation where I have to work now, a very long fucked up story I might make a thread about it one day. Getting something done least for me requires stuff biting at my ass and a sense of severe consequences if I don't do something.

The situation I am in at this very moment requires me to work but I put myself into this situation originally as a trade off to thinking I'd be getting something I want out of it which I no longer will so now I have to work even though I really don't want to and have to suffer through what I put myself into but I'm getting more done in my life than I ever have in 3 years of being a NEET. Getting out of NEETdom isn't sunshine and roses but once your out it's almost impossible to get back into least with my case. In reality I don't care for a paycheck or other aspects of what people call a "normal" life expect one thing which makes me think I was born in the wrong time but I do feel a little bit better that I've come such a long way in one year even for things I do not care for I feel I have more power over my life and other people's lives than I previously thought I had.

Even though I have will and motivation now because of all the bad stuff happening to me, I still get depressed and have the strong urge to end it all. I've never been in so much stress in my life but who knows it might be worth it eventually though my addictions are crushing me along the way and it seems the only thing that gives me hope is my addictions, I realize how fucked up that is but oh well.

tl:dr In short the best way to get something done is to act like or actually have a situation where there will be horrible consequences if you don't do it which for you there might be in the future that you over looked. Fear, envy, wrath and strife have driven people to do many things my advice might come of as irresponsible but in my own life I found that to be the only real thing to make me get anything done well that and my addictions.


>three years

It's four years later but seriously the point of being a neet is that you simply didn't fit into society. If you stop being a neet you never should have been in the first place. It's called being disabled.


>unemployment elitism


I know what you mean. For a long time I've been in a state where I allowed others to make decisions for me because I wouldn't take action. But this one time things got really bad and I almost lost my life. I'm not gonna go into the details, but basically by putting my trust in others I nearly died in a really stupid way. It wasn't just their fault but mine as well for not being proactive.


>unemployment elitism
effin right

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officially back to neetdom after being fired recently, it was only a few months of shitty work. first job i've had in this new state in 3 years and dropped out of college 1 year ago.

wondering if my options above are really all i have left.

i found working on below-subpar wages for months on end, dealing with manic depression and mental instability from my mom's failing health and my father's abuse, dissociation-episodes from body dysmorphia, and stress/anger issues with customers isn't the life i want to keep dealing with.

my folks are adamant on kicking me out if i dont find a job again, but being a useless queer fuckwit with no skills and no goals besides reading manga and playing vidya online with peeps, aka being the lazy asshole im only ever gonna be, makes it hard to wanna find reasons to go back into wagecucking.

do i skip steps and just rope or try and just fail to get buxs from SSI or some shit?
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>>"lgbt tranny here can I get donations! UmU here's my discord 0w0"(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)


u aint wrong anon, u aint wrong


I'm very sorry that you're in that situation, OP.

Personally I would never go for the rope unless I thought that without doing so I might end up in a situation where I wouldn't even have the option - for example, I might consciously consider the rope IF I was facing some sort of awful disease that might render me unable to make the decision and execute it at some point. I don't think there's any shame in choosing to exit, and I don't think you have anything to worry about as I believe in a resurrection of the dead, so you'll just wake up afterwards, but it's a really horrible decision to even consider, and so long as you're alive I guess there is always at least some hope that things will improve, and at least some hope to find some sort of happiness or meaning.

I think, so long as you're not suggesting damaging yourself first in order to be able to get it, that you should at least try for the SSI, though you'd have to consider the possible consequences of doing so for yourself (sorry I don't know much about the US system). I know from my own experience on NEETbux that it can be very hard to escape that situation once you've been in in long enough, and my situation has been very bad at points - but then again, I'm not sure the alternative was any better, if I'd continued working I'm sure that right now I'd just have wasted vastly more time serving other people, rather than at least having some time to myself as a NEET (even if in the end, my family stole vast amounts of it during that that time).

I don't think there's any shame in doing the sugardaddy thing so long as you don't actually have sex. If you can find someone willing to pay you to see photos or videos or something, it may not be ideal - but considering the amount of humiliation and subjugation involved in 'normal' wageslavery, I'm not sure that it's any worse. I don't see it as exploitation in either direction, but it's absolutely disgusting that people might have to reduce themselves to that rather than get support from 'society'. People in general should be ashamed for allowing such a situation to exist.

Maybe if you find a way to subsist for now, you'll eventually at least inherit your parents house if they own it? I see it as your parents having a moral obligation to support you, no matter how old, considering they brought you into the world and are responsible for your upbringing, so it's pretty terrible of them to want to toss you out. Is there Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


updating, still alive but not well.

however this virus turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me in a variety of ways

1. my folks actually care about me and wont kick me out in the middle of a pandemic
2. everyone around me now is living my lifestyle so im understood a bit better by some
3. im not able to get a job during all of this

but, shit still aint great or even good in the slightest.

unemployment benefits in my state is taking forever to come through, i havent gotten a stimulus check either, and im still waiting to hear back about disability / SSI shit so while i am "safe" to stay and be more of myself, im still not in any better of a financial situation.

its stressing me out and while i dont feel as bad as i did at the start of this, it's still hurting and terrible in my eyes and if anything i am believing the second this pandemic ends, i might just have to give it all up and just do it already.

for as much as i talk about this 'an hero', ill be honest and say i still fear it and still am pushed to keep going by some natural instinct to stay alive. say what u will about being over-dramatic and being being a fucking special snowflake pussy, but thats just the point, i am that shit and right now im still considering adding myself to the suicide rate of people like me.
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Lots of people get SSI $700 a month
Some people get SSDI $1,000 month
If a parent is dead you could get Survivor Benefits $1,400

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>A Hikikomori on the other hand (abbreviated hikki) is someone who seals themselves inside their home and does not leave at all for any reason, generally for 6 months or more in the clinical definition. Some NEETs are hikikomoris, but not all hikikomoris are NEETs – for example, a hikikomori could work or take classes from home. Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties, and this can go hand in hand with the isolation often brought about by the NEET lifestyle.

This is incorrect i think we need to clear up this misconception all hikikomori are NEETs having a job or receiving an education means you are still apart of society. The Japanese government describes hikikomori 引きこもり as those who do not work do not go to school and isolate themselves in their parents house in their rooms for 6 months due to mainly social and cultural triggers related to Japanese society and while NEETs are global hikikomori is mostly only a Japanese problem and there are only a few true cases overseas in the west due to the cultural differences between the east and the west. Also the verb 引く has only one k, and 引く is the Japanese word for pull and hikikomori means to pull inward or (Acute Social Withdrawal)

Video by a gaijin living in Japan who has researched hikikomori.


If you have a difference of opinion that is okay this thread is meant to be a civil debate thread so admin please do not lock this thread.


>admin please do not lock this thread
damn, look at this guy knowing the admins intended culture


Institutions already alienate us, why should we care for their rigid definitions? I think there is a difference between NEET and Hiki but the Hikis themselves should define this. Considering the complexity and variation of humans at large I'd imagine there are gradients of hikikomori. I don't know where that line is between hiki and NEET but a ridged adherence to strict definitions only creates walled gardens, at least with things like this. Discussing what a hiki is isn't the same as something more concrete like physics.


>I think there is a difference between NEET and Hiki

The only difference is one can be social while not contributing to society the other is isolated completely or nearly completely here is some more interesting info i found on some Japanese websites regarding hikikomori.

From Japanese Wikipedia.

引きこもり(引き籠もり[1]、ひきこもり、英語表記 hikikomori[2])とは、仕事や学校に行けず家に籠り、家族以外とほとんど交流がない人の状況を指す。現時点では、日本の厚生労働省はこうした状態が6か月以上続いた場合を定義としている

Acute Social Withdrawal (Withdrawal [1], Withdrawal English notation Hikikomori [2]) refers to the situation where people cannot go to work or school, stay at home, and have little interaction with their family. At present, the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare defines these conditions as having lasted for more than six months.


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NEET The acronym for (Not In Education Employment Or Training) The acronym NEET refers to those who have given up and refuse to attend school work or vocational training

Freeter フリーター

Japan's word to describe those who work part-time jobs with low pay and have a hard time earning a living.

Hikikomori 引きこもり

Hikikomori is a Japanese term when translated into English it means pulling inward being confined (Acute social withdrawal) it is Japan's word to describe those who have isolated themselves in their parents house refuse to attend school or work and stay in their bedrooms for very long periods at a time due to social and cultural reasons related to Japanese society (Generally 6 months)

Unemployed Person

A unemployed person is someone who is temporarily unemployed but still seeking out employment looking for a job and is willing to work

Self-Employed Person
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By self-improvement I mean doing more than the basics (getting a job/moving out), non-essential things like having hobbies or a social life. If I start now I will be quite old-ish by the time I see results, and most people will be moving on to something else. I cannot fill the gaps in experience, just make try to catch up and pretend I'm not behind.


just try to catch up*


Plenty of people either do those things because they want to, or because they think they can find additional social acceptance for having done them (which is really just another way of saying they want to do them). If wanting to do them doesn't apply to you, then don't. But understand what frequently befalls those who choose not to do those things.


I was a loser a few months ago. I'm still a loser, but now I can play the piano at a very bad grade 2, draw very poorly, and just about understand Japanese spoken by a small child.
Still, I'd recommend it, especially if you're a NEET like I am, since you'll be doing something with your time. I started doing these because I wanted to.
My regret is not starting earlier, since I'd be way more proficient than I am now, and probably enjoying it more since I won't have the frustrations that come with being inept at things.

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I know this might be a little silly, but does anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki? I've tried joining discords and other places, but a lot of them feel so heavily occupied that it sets off social anxiety for me and I just can't talk.

It seems hard to find smaller places to make friends while still feeling comfortable. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips, thank you for reading.
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I'm looking for a place like mentioned too. All I have is a small twitter circle of people but something like a discord does sound kind of tempting.


Penpal sites


Try smaller discords, facebook groups, forums, etc. It's also good to look for communities centered around something that interests you, so you already know what topics to break the ice with when starting a conversation.


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These "plz direct me to obscure net circles" threads are always awful, but are there seriously people recommending facebook groups? Listen anonymous; every single hangout on the internet revolves around hobbies. You can browse forums dedicated to knitting cute sweaters, to finding torrent groups willing to share the most FUBR fetish porn vids. Think to yourself what activity on the internet do you partake in the most. If you like saving pictures of anime girls you found on pixiv, *insert imageboard community* exists for that. Despite what some people might tell you, forums and IRC haven't been taken over by reddit or anything of the sort.
>anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki
For the record, people that "want to be friends on the internet" will want to mic chat with you or pressure you into doing things for them. They want friends that have a skill set. If you don't have any real skills like drawing, music or programming, for example, then they'll probably ghost you or kick you from whatever group you share.


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Well personally I like browsing the sanctionedsuicide forums but I don't know if it counts as a hobby or not.

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