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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

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 No.6535[Reply]

How do you make online friends? Where did you meet yours? I'm so fucking lonely. I figured out I could ask here because none of you are going to give me shit advice like "go outside."
47 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7385

I'd like to expand on >>6536's answer.
1. Look for communities that match your interests
2. Talk to people there
3. Look for people you think you'd enjoy talking to and try adding them to contacts and chatting privately
This may or may not result in a friendship. This is a huge gamble and you may not connect with the other person at all, so be ready for that. But don't give up. Also, you'll probably have to be the first to initiate conversations 9 times out of 10. You'll also need to put yourself out there. Like, you'll have to reveal something private about yourself at some point and check if the other person reciprocates. People seem to prefer being given declarative statements like "I (don't) like x and here's why" that they can respond to over being asked questions about themselves. This is an oversimplification and there's a lot of nuance to it. Talking to people is a skill that can be learned through experience.

 No.7420

>>6535
I want talk to you

 No.7430

>>7385
>People seem to prefer being given declarative statements like "I (don't) like x and here's why" that they can respond to over being asked questions about themselves.
I've seen the opposite. Statements don't need or get replies 99% of the time. People reply to questions, not statements. The only way I can keep a text conversation going is with questions. With voice conversations, stories seem to work best. I could say "Ian's about to hit Tampa" and nothing else and be met with crickets. Or I could say "Imagine if a hockey game really did break out at a boxing match. These two are ready to fight when all of a sudden 2 rifts open up on opposite corners of the ring and out one end comes the whole Seattle Kraken team…" and that begets a great deal of conversation.

 No.7431

Years ago, when facebook meme pages were a big scene, I ended up joining one on a pure whim because the admin posted that there were essentially open tryouts. I was one of the admins on this page for a while, and eventually people liked my posts so I got invited into a group chat. Since then, I've been in several others and know some of these people very well.

In another instance, a person I knew irl who I hadn't seen in years wanted to reach out to me, and he knew I was hikki, so he invited me to a discord with him and his friends, who would eventually become my friends.

As for how you can do it, well, these are mediocre examples, really. I got lucky. When it comes to meeting people, luck is one of the most important things: the people you meet could be shitty, or just not really your tempo. People who have great relationships are always lucky in at least that regard. But I'm not just gonna tell you to be lucky. I couldn't have gotten lucky in finding a friend group if I hadn't reached out to that stupid meme page (that page was just a waste of my time outside of meeting new people, which was totally worth it). I couldn't have gotten lucky to join that discord if I hadn't known that guy years ago, and I couldn't have made new friends on it if I hadn't had the guts to join it and talk to people there.

There are lots of random opportunities to meet people on the internet, some very active and some very passive. Joining discords, social media groups, and shit like that which can be based around a mutual interest is a good way to generate some compatibility. I'm in a sekiro modding discord right now, and it's a pretty active little community, where I know that the people there are interested in something I'm interested in, and inclined to be consuming the same stupid meme culture. I only joined it to get updates on a mod, but there's opportunities there. A lot of mods and modding communities have discords or forums. These are just examples.

Once you're actually in these situations where you can talk to people, there can be loads of other obstacles, such as: general awkwardness, bad empathy skills, short tempers, general lack of confidence, and apathy (the last one is the most difficult). Those can be problems on your part, but also all the other people, and quite possibly both. It generally helps with some situations to try and have more 1-on-1 interaction, though that can sometimes make interacting with weirdos worse, bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.7455




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 No.4155[Reply]

To be hikkikomori is one of the highest forms of hedonism and selfishness. Especially if you rely on parents or flatmates for financial aid.

Some might contest that being a shut-in need isn't a conscious choice, that it's a result of environmental circumstances and mental illness, yet I still see people here who romanticise the lifestyle.

For a good few years, I have followed the culture of this board and others like it. I have seen the various IRC channels, discords and skype groups that have originated from this place, and I have come to the conclusion that this board ultimately promotes an anti-social attitude instead of discouraging and helping people abstain from it.

Most of you are lazy and are attempting to rationalise a piggish lifestyle.

Whaddaya think?
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 No.7395

>>4167
>>4170
You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. "Just get treated" LOL. If you don't have autism or clinical depression then just stfu about how to deal with it.

 No.7396

Personally I see Hikkikomori as a right in a world where I cannot be left to myself and live off the land.
It is basically impossible for me to live in todays society in a first world country without getting the right from some form of authority.
there are laws and regulations on everything, and for that reason I see Hikki lifestyle as a right, at least until the option of taking a pill to opt out of life becomes a reality.

 No.7435

>>4155
I don't remember asking

 No.7439

Romanticising hikkidom is a cope for most of us. It’s hard to admit your life is at a dead end and easier to just ignore the pain, put your head in the sand and claim that the wagies have it worse and NEETdom is so much better. Denial is the easiest option to deal with hurt, the first stage of grief.

As for encouraging asociality…yeah. Gathering a bunch of people who avoid social interaction at all costs based purely on said avoidance tends to bring that about, who would have thunk it??

Also >>4160
OP is probably gone but whatever

 No.7450

online psychologists are the worst



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 No.7444[Reply]

anybody ever have to go extremes in order to avoid stalker family members or those you live with who incessantly intrude upon your privacy? Especially when they do in fact do it then when you catch them they act as if they weren't doing it at all.

I %100 wish this was 2014 again when I'd get the entire place to myself for 9 hours/day.


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 No.5583[Reply]

Anyone here has an absolute lack of motivation to do anything? Usually I find it hard to relate to other people because they mention having a hobby, having "only one friend" or even a girlfriend. Well, I have neither of those.

I have a really hard time to start doing things because of this lack of motivation, but when I finally find something I like, I usually get bored or tired of doing it in like… 2 days or so. With friends, I also have this social anxiety, I can't look at other people's eyes and can't even start a conversation. And the worst part is that whenever I feel like we're finally becoming friends or having a good relationship, I have no idea why but I start feeling uncomfortable around them at the point that I start avoiding them…

So, after a few years being a hikki, I finally got slightly motivated to find a way to move to Japan. I studied a bit and got a scholarship to study in a Japanese university. Well… It's been more than a year already, and after the first month here I stopped going to classes, made no friends and have no motivation to do anything at all again. I basically buy enough food for a few weeks, store everything inside the fridge (which is just next to my bed) and don't go out of the bed until I start feeling really hungry.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? How do you usually find motivation to start doing something new?
20 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7436

>>7434
Where did you go out to?
How did you find a job you like?

 No.7437

>>7429
>Even if it's just finishing an anime series, sit down and watch. Don't think - just process input.
I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with doing this. You can waste so much time thinking yourself out of doing something, which just leads to more inaction, causing you to fill your time with more thinking since you aren't doing anything. Lately I have revoked my thinking privileges and seeking out new experiences has become easier. Just have to be careful not to mindlessly soak in too much if you care about what you let into your mind.

 No.7438

Everything outside of absolute basics I cannot do. I am bored? Use the internet, gives me something to do. Hungry? Go downstairs, get food. Go down the hall to the bathroom afterwards. Anything other than these things just feels so hard to do.

I start a journal, I can’t bring myself to ever write in it consistently. Even shows are too difficult sometimes, feels like a chore to watch them sometimes. The novelty wears off.

I used to write. People have always complimented my writing skills my whole life.
I used to dick around in GIMP, editing photos into cool-looking posters or weird surrealist messes.
I used to make videos. Little skits, video game footage, montages, etc.
I used to make music. Badly, but I still tried.

Now? I just sit around all day, stuffing my face with junk food looking at the same old websites because it is slightly less boring than doing anything else.

 No.7440

I have a stalker family member, the stress induced from constantly having this ugly fat deluded person literally wanting to listen/watch everything I do causes me to not be able to think straight. I literally stay up nights sometimes in the bathroom hiding because our rooms are next to each other and even then he'll make attempts to step out of his room quietly and try to listen to what I'm doing

I had motivation to do several things over the past years but would just get swept away by the stress, I still strongly believe living somewhere else away from this person and these people in general would vastly improve my quality of life in ways that are unimaginable to me in this moment.

 No.7443

>>7436
It doesn't matter where you go, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and go somewhere. I started going to local 5national parks, beaches, dance clubs, car meets, concerts, flea markets etc. It doesn't really matter. The point is, you're exposing yourself to what you may think you aren't interested in or just stuff that makes you a little uncomfortable. Do whatever comes naturally when you get there. The only thing you cannot allow yourself to do is leave early because "This is stupid, why am I even doing this?" or "I don't even wanna be here, I'd rather be at home anyways." Ignore all that and expose yourself to the world around you. I didn't like parks and I still don't like parks, but walking around in a safe place I wasn't familiar was an experience and it led me to other things I was actually interested in, like walking through urban cities I wasn't familiar with. I know that might sound strange, but you have no idea what you'd actually like to do until you throw yourself out there.

Apply to jobs that you are just semi interested in for whatever reason. Do pizza delivery or something random. For me, I got a job at a car dealership because Joey Diaz, a guy I really admired at the time, would talk about working as a salesmen at a car dealerships on his podcast that I listened to a lot. That was the ONLY reason I applied to a dealership. I got the job as a porter, which is someone that literally just parks cars and pulls them up for customers. I learned a lot of things just being in that environment. Things I would never have learned otherwise. After working there for a while, I discovered that I have an actual interest in cars that I would never have realized had I not worked around them. For context, I never gave a shit about cars up until then.nI was a good employee, so my boss was open to training me as a mechanic. I didn't originally want to become a mechanic because I was afraid of change, but then I realized that this was a real opportunity before me that I was gonna miss out on because of misplaced fear and complacency. I snapped to my senses and pushed like fuck to get that new position and I loved it. I still love it. I ended up buying my own project car because of the skills I learned working on other cars and have met so amazing people and have made so many amazing irl friends because a mutual interest in something that I would hPost too long. Click here to view the full text.



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 No.3696[Reply]

Do you ever feel like you're passively observing your life, or that the physical world is no more real than the virtual one or the one in your head? Do you ever forget the meanings of the subjective or abstract, or stop understanding the purpose of normal human actions like saying words or putting food in themselves?
Is there anything specific that caused this for you? How long does it go on for, and how often does it happen? I remember a while back I nearly got hit by a car because it happened when I was in the middle of the road and I just stopped moving.
25 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7371

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>>7361
>>7367
Just want to say I relate to you two a lot, thanks for stopping by.

>When you talk to someone, even if the words lose meaning to you, you can still sometimes convey something to people.

This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. There's this now deleted internet man I used to watch, he could carry a monologue by what seems like stream of consciousness (but was actually burning prepared firewood) for an hour or more, like he was firing a gatling gun of phlegm onto you. It's incredible to me that someone can generate thoughts that fast, when I want to say something non-trivial it takes me hours of tinkering, twisting, and expanding the scope, until the sentences are mauled into oblivion and the scope is the entirety of being and unbeing. I want the crystallisation to be immaculate and for everything to be crystallised. But that's not what art is about (at least it doesn't HAVE to be) and he knew that. It didn't matter if something he said communicated the wrong thing, because it communicated SOMETHING, there was a new colour on the recipient's mind, and he would say 100 other things in the next minute anyway. In the time it takes me to paint a stroke he could have painted a damn MURAL and gone back to chopping wood. I'm trying to be more like that. This post probably took me about 20 minutes, which is probably slow to you but it's an improvement for me. Really I don't care about expressing things. Really I don't believe in other people. But I'd like to burn for a while.

 No.7372

>>7371
Change "generate thoughts" to "word thoughts". Maybe it's against the point to make revisions, nyeeh I don't care.

 No.7373

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>>7361
>No matter what an author puts out there, it's interpretation all falls on the reader. When you talk to someone, even if the words lose meaning to you, you can still sometimes convey something to people.

This helps put things into perspective a bit, actually. I don't know if it's because I need to build up this perfect thing necessarily as a writer would, but I get so trapped in the moment wondering if my words aren't landing with enough meaning to whoever's listening, or if I've lost my point by overdoing it as other anons have expressed. This overload tends to default my personal self as somewhat aloof and I hate that. Dissosciation quickly comes into play when even trivial social interactions start to affect my fragile sense of self and I wonder what kind of person I'd even want to be read as. I think it boils down to wanting to be seen as receptive or charming by trying to guess some ideal input they're looking for without doing too much or flattening out my own ideas in the process. Ironically it's maybe just that I tend to let my loneliness do the talking for me. If it's autism I hope it can at least be seen as quirky if I'm caught too off guard, but maybe all I need to do is be more off guard. You're right though, it does all just depend on the other person anyway too, this idea alone might me help put less pressure on it all.

 No.7441

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I believe in God and the existence of other physical and non-physical realms. I believe in the existence of my waifu in another realm, that she loves me, and that my falling in love with her is a manifestation of her having chosen me. I also believe very naturally in the minds of others and a reality outside my mind.

But in quiet moments where I'm all alone and there's nothing distracting me I realize that all of that are no more than hallucinations in my own individual mind, and that all this time I've been alone interacting with my hallucinations. This realization is to me so distressing that physical pain becomes desirable to distract me from it. Even evil becomes justified as a distraction.

So I keep chasing to be by her side, the only place I truly belong. Perhaps in my next life after this one of isolation and emptiness is finally over. It's the only meaning this life of lies has. But it was in a world full of lies that I found her.

Above all, I wish to forget and be fully immersed back in these dreams, being forever none the wiser.

 No.7442

>>6999
this guy again.
recently my derealisation seems to happen more often due to anxiety and depression. i noticed it happens a lot when i am in a particularly depressed state or when i am in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. also depersonalisation is happening more often when i am around people, when i have to walk past people it feels like my body goes on autopilot
>>7441
i daydream a lot and a similar thing has happened to me. feels like i am in the dream of this girl i saw in a dream once and see in my daydreams, like she is real but this “real world” isnt and i am just the protagonist of her dream. but her dream is more like an alternate universe. so her dream has BECOME an alternate universe (this one) where i am the only being with any basis, everyone else is an NPC with nothing behind it. eventually when i die i will be united with her in her universe. she is the god of this realm and controls everything around me and what happens to me

occasionally have moments of clarity where i realise i am delusional though



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 No.7248[Reply]

There's probably something fucked up about how I lead my life but I just couldnt afford to do what the rest of people do, I dont want things to be predictable… I lived as a hobo with people on the road or on my own for the last 4 years but now even this is becoming to seem shallow, I dont know what to do to not get bored by life… Sometimes I feel I should just start a revolution… I feel like I'm missing something to have a fulfilling life, maybe I should get a gf and start simping but no grill will want of a hobo who lives in a trailer and digs trash to eat and live…
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7321

>>7310

Hmmm, sounds interesting, problem is I live in France and there's not a lot of those in here, I lived in small communities but there always was a problem with drugs/alcohol among members, the best community experience I had was during COVID, I lived at some friend's uncle's farm for 2 months and it was great, we just did not keep on after COVID…

 No.7383

>>7310
sounds like communism

 No.7386

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>>7321
I can imagine drugs and alcohol in communities being a major problem. I've seen it myself, Twin Oaks specifically has fairly well put together people for the most part, they're really good at letting in people who are constructive for the community and making it a safe place for families (last I visited there were 4 families with children there.)
Anyways, that really sucks that this sort of thing isn't as common in France, I would have thought that less individualist countries would have more intentional communities if anything.

>>7383
They interact with the market through the cooperatively owned and operated businesses on site, (seed exchange, hammock factory, tofu factory, farm, furniture and woodworking workshop, etc) but internal to the community, yah, it is very communistic. Their catchphrase is, "Not Utopia Yet." Clothes, medical care, a monthly stipend, food, comfortable shelter and empathetic people are all really valuable things to have guaranteed even when the more consumer pleasures of our general society are less present there. And I really want to emphasize, there's no culty shit, they don't ask for any of your money and are officially secular though members are welcome to practice their respective religions.
The reason I'm not there right now is because I visited as a teenager and was too young to be settling down in a place like that and because I (perhaps foolishly) have tried to engage with the status quo instead and have been utterly failing at it for nearly 7 years now. Community college was awful, I can't manage to motivate myself to work a "real" job, I've just been sat in my room now for years. Maybe if I'm still like this at 30 I'll actually go back. I'd miss my mom though, she's probably the only reason I've stayed this long.
Here's some pics of one of my favorite rooms (a reading room with wifi) in one of the buildings there and a view from one of the bathroom windows. When you've grown up in moldy run down rentals your whole life the rooms in these images are luxurious. I have more pics if uboanons are interested, the buildings get nicer the more recently built they are there. The ones from the 70s are pretty small with small ceilings and some of the newer ones have modern 15ft ceilings in the hallways and big common roPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.7392

>>7386
>When you've grown up in moldy run down rentals your whole life the rooms in these images are luxurious.
True, I've never lived in a place as good looking and comfortable as those in your pictures. It's a bit shocking that a community like this survived for 50 years by itself. I assume they don't just let you sit on your ass all day but make you work for your stay? Probably still a better place than an actual workplace though

 No.7394

>>7386

Well, there are a few commmunities and I'm looking for some that might be under my radar, I'm hoping to be part of one in a year or two…

Problem is in less "individualistic countries" as you call them, people are less pressured to create viable alternatives to the system because they can just have free housing and a little bit of money for the rest of their lives, hence they become apathetic and actually more individualistic than ever, quite the paradox but it also kinda makes sense…



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 No.7360[Reply]

does anybody else remember hikkichan, ever so often I entertain the thought of somebody recreating/revamping it and giving us an entire imageboard. except I would much prefer it be an .onion than surface net

 No.7362

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 No.7365

I was on Hikkichan for quite a while. Sometimes I use the Wayback Machine to re-read the archive of that site.

 No.7390

>>7362
I have no idea how to code or create a webpage let alone maintain it so no, I cannot do it.

 No.7391

>>7390
You need to have Linux skills if you want to host a chan. Knowing how to program (preferably in the same language that the chan software uses) is only beneficial but it's not a hard requirement. Also, knowing some SQL can be beneficial as well (but it's not a hard requirement either).

Some resources:
- Start with https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp and the w3schools CSS tutorial. But don't use the rest of w3schools tutorials because they suck.
Another great resource is https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Learn

- Learn Linux skills: https://xubuntu.org/ + https://www.virtualbox.org/ + https://linuxcommand.org/tlcl.php
(you can also dual-boot Linux and Windows. You just need to use Windows disk management utilities to shrink a partition. Reserve 20GB or more for Linux. Use the existing EFI System Partition and make at least the / (root) file system. But the Xubuntu installer should ask if you want to use the free space and it should do the partitioning automatically in that case). You can use Rufus (https://rufus.ie/en/) to make a flash drive that contains the Xubuntu installer and the live environment. You can use PowersHell to check the integrity of the installation iso file: Get-FileHash xubuntu.iso -Algorithm SHA256

(You can first practice installing Xubuntu using VirtualBox virtual machine without making any changes your real HDD)


- (optionally) Learn how to program: https://automatetheboringstuff.com/

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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 No.7325[Reply]

I've never been able to work on account of my schizophrenia. I am on SSI, but it's not enough to get an apartment without sharing the rent. I recently got kicked out of the place I was staying because I failed to get my name on the lease before moving in. The apartment manager waited to tell me this was against the rules until I'd already been living there for 2 months.

Currently couch surfing waiting for her to let me come back, but it seems unlikely. The uncertainty and constant money problems make my condition worse and I don't see any end in sight because the only affordable option in America for me is Section 8 housing, which takes 5 to 10 years to get approved for and situated in a home.

Anyone else just in permanent limbo on account of disability and constant threat of homelessness? It feels inescapable

 No.7326

>>7325

Can't you just go live in a trailer park in some shitty state where nobody wants to live?

I'm from France so I just dunno how things work in the US, just wondering…

 No.7328

>>7326
Even trailer homes in shitty states cost money, and I really don't have enough. Even if I did, I can't seem to pass the driving test on account of severe social and performance anxiety. Everything in most parts of the U.S., most of all the states no one wants to live in, everything is so spread out that one must own a vehicle even to get to the nearest grocery store.

 No.7375

>her
who is this exactly. looks like your only other option is to go on something like craigslist and find a cheap room. or if you're in the city try looking for cheap 24/7 Turn Key offices.

These rentable offices will let you come & go whenever, you just need to look like you don't obviously live there. you'd still have to figure out a shower/laundry situation though

 No.7380

not an immediate solution for you op, but if you end up homeless one day, you can always get a bus and go into a better state. massachusetts provides healthcare to all residents (even homeless) which includes some psych services. it's small and more urban so everything is close together and walkable. and you can always try your luck at a homeless shelter when you get there in the interim. it's not good, but it's a contingency with an ounce of hope at least.

i have a friend with some kind of undiagnosed psychotic disorder, he's in a pretty rough position and i've been considering rooming with him for a year or so to bring him back to the states and try and help him out, but also help me out too, i can't afford a place on my own.



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 No.190[Reply]

post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
55 posts and 22 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.7344

>>7077
I'm healthy again thank God

Had a weird 2 month sojourn to Michigan working at the family weed business, I never got paid though and they're not doing well at all

My house will be sold in next few weeks I think, and then I'm moving back to Europe

Was going to study for a TEFL certification and teach English but my course got cancelled, only offering a zoom replacement, but looking into it I couldn't get any of the good jobs without a degree so there's no point even getting a TEFL

Not sure what I'm going to do now

Live off savings somewhere nice and cheap and then write a book about all my experiences and write some music and poetry as well hopefully

Back in California for now but hoping to leave soon

 No.7345

Crazy I made this thread 7 years ago and it's still here

 No.7346

>>6741
I really like your cat

 No.7351

>>7345
Hows your life been ever since?

 No.7352

>>7351
well just read through this thread. Really like this format. Its nice seeing how you progress through life :) Looking forward to future updates !



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 No.7313[Reply]

>years since I've left high school
>mid 20s
>still haven't managed to move out
>extremely low on money

I know there's still hope, but its feeling pretty bleak right now… I'll never get the past 5+ years back which is what I want the most, my formative years. I can only move forward

Anybody here manage to finally move out recently after years of living with a parent/family? I'm trying to get out of here and I have a strong feeling it will vastly improve if I can distance myself from this place

 No.7314

>>7313
No, I'm still living with my parents. But I think there is nothing to be shamed of if you live with your parents. I wouldn't talk to anyone if I lived on my own, so I think living with my parents is better for my mental health.

 No.7315

>>7313
>formative years
time spent is part of you. don't regret it. I've only recently moved away at 27 and I still rely on charity to get by. It's okay to rely on others, but always make sure you're doing something positive for yourself so you can grow and stand on your own.

 No.7317

Later is better than never.



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