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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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The rules have been updated, effective immediately. Please review them. Specifically rules 6, 7, and 8 have changed or been added, and two guidelines have been removed.
Updated again to ban political ideology and imagery completely.

File: 1496915089241.jpg (39.12 KB, 540x418, f58fc931d6226271a8a21d21ac….jpg)

 No.3205[Reply]

Hello, /hikki/.

For 2 years now, I've only went out the house for school, and even with school I don't hang out with people.

You see, I moved far away from my best friend. We were closer than peas in a pod, practically glued to each other.
We'd explore the city, have trips to the mall and explore abandoned areas in our school district.

Unfortunately, we had a falling out since I was an immature freshman, and took her for granted. I belittled her art skills and made fun of her obsession with a show. We made up, but I always felt guilty, she assured me I was alright, but due to circumstances that I can't share, I had to skip our exams, leave and move upstate, and never see her again.

Now, I've moved from Louisiana to New York, and 3rd-year high school bore no friendships for me, since I had so much regrets with how I treated her.
I couldn't be close to someone else after her, and I'd like some advice from you.
Please leave advice, Ubuu. I desperately need it.
11 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3240

File: 1497840928486.jpg (17.15 KB, 480x360, this is how I feel.jpg)

>>3224
If you're friend really would be creeped out by your genuine feelings than your relationship really did suck. People are awful. Also I can smell the adolescence bleeding from your posts about something as petty as losing a shit friend. Can't blame the young for acting it though.

 No.5542

>>3205
holy shit im jealous.
You literally had the best type of friend out there. Someone that actually cares enough to do stuff alone with you. Thats extremely rare so you probably won't find it in your current situation.
Try getting in contact with your friend and tell her that you are genuinely sorry. You guys will probably not hang out as much because of the distance, but at least you wont be feeling bad anymore.

 No.5607

хуйна

 No.5608

>>5607
зря ты так

 No.5618

>>5617
try to talk every few days at least. that's what i do. i'm in a similar situation. i'm moving in a few months, at which point my girlfriend and i have decided to break up. I've already lost contact with all but two of my friends whom i rarely see and i know i won't make new ones



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 No.5543[Reply]

I'm sure most here have their own summer bug horror stories. Last summer (for example) I had a plastic container sitting around untampered with for god knows how long and when I opened it one day it had an entire thriving ecosystem inside it. My nose is broken so rotten food junk/fermented piss does not bother me at all but bugs drive me insane.

 No.5544

>>5543
Those look like carpet beetle I think. They can produce allergic reactions in some people resulting in symptoms similar to bedbug bites. The symptoms are caused by the fine hairs that they shed which pierce the skin.

 No.5545

Try to look up picture of rooms/houses in far worse conditions than your own, that kind of stuff usually motivates me to clean like there was no tomorrow.

 No.5546

>>5543

Not trying to be insulting but, if you got to that point, just cleaning won't cut it. Those things will hatch and lay eggs all over the place, incredibly hard to remove because they stick on surfaces / crevices. Might actually need to clear the room of all furniture and go at it with a pest removal service.

 No.5550

>>5543
yep
>17 become stoner/NEET hybrid
>only go to school to score weed
>have old apple pipes stashed in desk drawer
>fruit flies form a colony on their
>amazed my high ass looking at the rows of fruit fly maggots on my old pipe
>another time eat a piece of shitty fudge because of the munchies
>didn't like it so tossed it in a cup and left it on dresser
>weeks later look in it and its teeming with maggots, not fruit fly either as they are much bigger
it was pretty much one summer that all this happened because I got an ounce of shitty mexican regs that itself was full of dead bugs and just got high as fuck for 2 months on end

 No.5602

OP here. Surprisingly not a lot of bug activity in sight. I found a dead mouse in my closet a few days after the making of this thread and a single squirming maggot on my desk last week



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 No.5551[Reply]

I'm a peaceful and squeamish guy. I even feel sorry for killing bugs
even so, I took an interest in the army and the navy (I'm not a yank). there's something so cool about their disciplined and hard life, how those institutions can whip people without courage, without a purpouse, a goal, or a skill into shape. it truly is a beautiful thing to behold. I like how they harden mind and body just so average joes can face the unexpected. plus you learn cool things too, from survival techniques to self-defense and trades
and hey, paying you to learn all these things is great

still, I can't even think about myself harming someone else, and that's the biggest downside. it's pretty much what they train you for, too. are there any other similar careers that teach you similar values but don't revolve around harming others? I was thinking about becoming a fireman or a park ranger. similar enough?
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5558

>>5556
>I'm argentinian btw

I see. In that case, I still can't give you any direct advice, as I'm from within the EU.

But good luck nonetheless, and keep us updated on your progress!

 No.5589

>>5557
yo tampoco. hasta vi guardaparques que se quejaban de la falta de financiamiento a parques y reservas
creo que no elegis los puestos, te los asignan (te podes negar a los que te ofrezcan pero no podes elegir de entrada)
capaz podria trabajar en bariloche si estudiase en la universidad de rio negro pero me tendria que mudar y esperar a que empiece otro año
hay una facultad cerca de donde vivo y ademas abrieron inscripciones para segundo cuatrimestre asi que voy a probar ahi
>>5558
I'm going for the ranger career. right at the uni inscription line as we speak. not precisely the uni I wanted to go, but I'll take what I can :)

 No.5590

>>5589
Awesome!

Best of luck to you, and remember: during the training period, you will have to go through things that will feel like total bullshit. But don't give up, it is the way they do it with all military/paramilitary forces. Once you're done with it, it will be all worth it in the end!

 No.5591

>>5590
I suppose things are different here
the reason why I didn't consider this college as my first choice it's because it's more focused towards reserch and scientific issues rather than law enforcement, and doesn't have much field work asignatures
though, there *is* an advanced intensive course for those who already have an associate degree decreed by the state, but it's mostly a filter

 No.5592

>>5589
Well, you can also check whether you can transfer next year when they open the inscriptions again. UNRN isn't bad, although the lack of a proper campus can be annoying; I'm not quite sure how easy is to move here. Finding a proper house/department to rent (at a reasonable price) in a good area isn't as easy, but I've seen people renting to students at fairly good prices (around 10k ARS). Can't say how good these places are though.

Anyway, best of luck with that, keep us updated.



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 No.5571[Reply]

I don't know where to turn at this point so I'm just gonna post this here. Not even sure if it's on topic for this board but whatever.

I gave in to the waifu thing and have been in love with a fictional character and considered myself in a relationship with him for a little over three years. I had a tulpa of him which I'm unsure if he was around before or after I fell in love. He has since disappeared. It was due to something that happened but it's romantic melodrama. My issue is that I lived my life in a body with someone else, someone who I loved, trusted, and couldn't be without for three years. But I made a mistake and he disappeared.

I want him back in my life but I can't help but feel like it'd be impossible to separate our romantic relationship. I am currently with someone else and I honestly don't think I could ever go back to being with him in a relationship. But I want him back in my life…It's selfish considering I'm with the person who sort of was the catalyst to our relationship ending. It'd probably be hard for him.

I have no idea how to handle the situation if I even can get him to talk to me at all. I'm really just desperate at this point and have no idea who I'd turn to. My situation is very atypical. I just hope someone can give me advice of even just comfort me maybe.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5576

>>5571
I think your mind might be prioritizing your real life partner over the tulpa, perhaps recreating your tulpa in the context of a mutual friendship might work

 No.5577

>>5572
I've been with both fictional and real life. For me it's just who i fall in love with, not who they are. My current significant other is real and also knows about everything relating to this more or less.

Advice for you would be to let go of it. Regardless if they can date real people vs fictional, they're with someone else and as long as they're happy and not in a bad situation you should accept that and step back. I had a friendship not ruined but made awkward because my friend never wanted to get over me because he figured a fictional character wasn't serious enough or a phase or whatever, but it was pretty shitty to have him treat my relationship that way. If you value their friendship I'd honestly just cut it out and wait and see if they ever are willing to take the step with you before making a move.


>>5576
It was basically just taking my tup for granted when we were together and the first sign of someone else who i could be with I guess it just caused him to leave. It was before I was even with my current SO. So it was never prioritizing my partner because it happened before that was a thing. When he left and we split I just didn't focus on him at all either because I didn't want to bother him if he was upset. And honestly I didn't even think it was much of anything at first. There's been times I hadn't felt him around for a few days, but then days turned into weeks, and months. I was waiting for him to talk to me about everything too. He never answered just left.

 No.5578

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>>5577
i think tulpas are very sensitive to your mental state, so if you begin to focus on someone else with the same kind of relationship context as your tulpa, it may disappear.

i'd recommend to perhaps follow the same steps and bring him back as a close friend/confidant

 No.5579

File: 1560215241966.jpg (422.8 KB, 700x800, 1401186043454.jpg)

>>5578
That's a pretty good idea, and sort of what I've thought about doing, but now seeing it in writing makes it much clearer of a choice. Thank you.

I don't want to go into too much detail since too much discussion is probably not allowed but I plan on tripping on dxm tonight and have been rewatching the series he is from. Hopefully it helps me talk to him in some way.

 No.5580

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>>5579
godspeed



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 No.5245[Reply]

being alone for so long has stunted my ability to talk so much that i can barely construct full sentences in my head, let alone hold a conversation with anyone
21 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5455

>>5454
Wrong, false. While people can and do bullshit, a lot of the times, they'll actually feel bad in the moment but wont take meaningful action or still give a shit five minutes later.

 No.5456

>>5447
You have a point but I wouldn't say that "suffer" is the right word. Most of the time I do get overwhelmed around people who are in a bad situation, but the decision to care or not is something else. I tend to keep distance especially if I can't help.

 No.5457

>>5453
I respect hikkies as i am hikki too. And i assume problem desribed here is not a simple one like "my girl dont apriciate my football skill"

Profesional help. Do you have emough money for that?

>>5454
The way you look on it depends.

It is a question like "my wife is simulating in the bed what i should feel about it?". Normal person dont give a fuck is it simulation or not. Feel-ish bu normally-egoistic person would thank "wife" because she put an effort to please that person.
But only a depressive one would feels tricked and cheated.

>>5456
Depression is a internal suffering. Watch Sapolsky.

 No.5479

>>5455
> they give a shit five minutes later
They are also aware of this, hence they avoid people, who make them feel bad. Who wouldn't?

 No.5575

>>5245
I used to have this severely, it was like being someone who broke his legs learning to walk again. Since then I have always made sure to talk to myself regularly, or otherwise risk losing my ability to construct sentences. I think you have to treat you ability to speak like you treat you physical ability, use it or lose it.



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 No.5331[Reply]

When I have to interact with people, quite often, they will find a way to misinterpret my anxiety. There are many misinterpretations, but they all seem to revolve around the other person involved. They think I must only be anxious because of them, not realizing that people with social anxiety are pretty much always anxious around people, except perhaps around their family members or a small group of friends. But around people they don't know, they will be anxious.

I have been accused of racism for being anxious around non-white people at my college's cafeteria, despite the fact that I get social anxiety around white people too. One time, a female counselor implied that I must be anxious around women, not understanding that I am anxious around men too. People have said thinks like "anon is bad at talking to girls" or "or anon gay?" but I am just bad at talking to people in general. Saying I'm "bad at talking to girls" implies that I'm good at talking to guys, which is not true.

The female counselor I saw sent me to a male counselor in the same counseling office place and I was anxious around him too. He seemed to take it personally and thought it was about him as an individual. Very unprofessional across the board. He also asked me about drugs and alcohol and I told him about my drinking, and so he thought I must be anxious because of drinking too often (it's the opposite: I drink too much to cope with anxiety, not the other way around).

Another time, someone invited me to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I was sleep-deprived and also still had social anxiety, because I always have it, and being in a situation where I had to serve people food and talk to them made it especially bad. The person who invited me implied that I was afraid of homeless people, even though they've seen how I act around other people.

A final example was how I was invited by my friend to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. They are extremely loud and outgoing and it was a little intimidating with all the questions and being put on the spot a few times. My friend thought I really enjoyed checking my phone, when in reality I was only doing it to avoid making eye contact or to cope with my extreme anxiety.

I don't get the impression that very many people truly understand what I'm going through, and these accusations make it even worse.

Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues? If so, what happened?
18 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5468

>Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues?
All the time. My family likes to pretend that mental disorders that aren't overtly crippling don't exist. They barely consider autism a disorder if you're more functioning than the furthest people on the spectrum. It's always "Why are you even sad? There's nothing to be sad about" or "Stop being so shy!" when it comes to my manic depression and crippling anxiety.

The only one who doesn't do that is my dad, who treats it like some sort of sick competition. Whenever someone tries to talk about mental health and mentions something they have, 99.9% of the time you'll immediately hear "I HAVE THAT, TOO!!". You know he treats it like a competition because it's never to sympathize, only to direct everyone's attention toward him.

 No.5469

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>>5468
Your dad might be a narcissist. Those are typical symptoms. Maybe look into that, and don't overlook covert narcissism. I've noticed how much extra attention narcissism seems to get in self-help circles.

 No.5473

>>5469
Sounds about right, he demonstrates most of if not all the symptoms with constant gaslighting thrown into the mix for flavor.

 No.5538

>>5348
Do you suppose that might have been projection on your Aunt's behalf, anon? How is she around other people, and your parents in particular? Is she emotionally manipulative?

 No.5547

>>5347
>That's why I think positive experiences won't cure anxiety entirely.
>You can't possibly train yourself to overcome fear over all social situations
Sorry for selectively quoting. I agree with the second sentence, but not with what I feel is the spirit of the first. In my experience, it is the case that ``healing experiences of successful social interactions'' only train for similar social situations. However, it is also my experience that this is enough. Maybe I live a monotonous life, but being able to deal with a limited amount of social interaction already allows me to deal with the majority of social interaction. Isn't that enough?



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 No.5493[Reply]

Happy Valentine's Day, Uboa-chan!
I'm a long-time lurker, first time poster,. I've told my sob-story a couple times on other -chans, only to get the usual “kys” response, so I decided to post here and see if any intellectuals feel like replying (or if anyone replies at all…)
At the age of 6, I was molested by my brother, and was quickly (forcefully) introduced to the world of sex from a very young age, only to be rejected by every girl I've ever been stupid enough to have feelings for. From my first grade crush, to all my cute coworkers, I'm almost 25, in the prime of my life, and am forced to watch happy, fruitful, loving relationships blossoming all around me, while all I get is my right hand and an internet connection.
To say that I used to get bullied in school would be an understatement. Elementary and Middle school were pretty miserable, but during my first year of high school, I made a friend (or so I thought). After about 3 or 4 months, a rumor spread around the school that I was gay, and this friend of mine tried to hook me up with a guy. I felt really bad turning the guy down, but this friend of mine, (and all his friends) got so pissed at me, that I was reported, and the teachers and administrators gave the students permission to bully me from then on. My parents didn't believe any of it and didn't do anything about it.
As for Elementary School, I'm like 85% sure there was a child trafficking ring going on behind my back. Every year was an event called the “School Sleepover” where kids would come to spend the night at the school to “play games and watch movies together”. They also apparently “Didn't have a sleepover every year” because it's a “potentially dangerous event” and that they “Needed approval from the school district”. However, I know for sure that each of my 4 siblings got to go at least twice and a friend of mine (who later became a pot-smoking, acid-dropping chad) got to go multiple times, and In 4th grade, he even got to 3rd base it with a girl who had a crush on me in a game of Truth or Dare. All this after my teacher threatened to expel me for asking when the sleepover would be. After the fact, when 10y/o Chad asked me why I didn't go, I said nobody told me, and when I asked what happened at the sleepover, he tuned bright red and said “I promised not to tell, and if I did tell, you would get extremely mad, and the whole school would get in a lot of trouble with the police.”
I won't bore you with Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5506

>>5505
Yep. You're totally right, anon. Spread the news.

 No.5507

>>5505
It's not that deep.

 No.5508

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>>5493
Valentine's isnt really a big deal in my country so i wouldn't know and despite knowing it exists i don't think much about it because it sounds dumb and would hurt. Seems like you live in a pretty fucked up place if all of that is true, i'd try to get off this hellhole immediately.

 No.5539

File: 1554542488845.jpg (114.25 KB, 640x358, chad story.jpg)

OP here.
To be clear, I am no saint. Every girl I've ever asked out has rejected me, which makes me sad, but I know for a fact that there have been a small handful of girls that I've turned down as a result either me being a clueless asshole, them being raging feminazis, or them being 400lb land whales. I'm a cringelord to be sure, and I can't even say with 100% certainty that I do deserve love. I like to believe that everyone deserves a Happily Ever After for their Fairy Tale, but history tells us otherwise. Things such as Yume Nikki, Saya No Uta, and Watamote make me think back to all my school suicides, my own suicide attempts, and all the famous people in history (or the non-famous nobodies of the past) who all died as lonely bitter virgins, never feeling so much as the warmth of a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.

 No.5541

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but on closer inspection there's an ant infestation and most of the grass has dried out. Focus on the upkeep of your own lawn instead.



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 No.5262[Reply]

In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
If you can and want please share this post to communities which you think might me knowledgeable.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.5264

Moved from /ot/

 No.5311

Your backstory is so much alike mine it’s uncanny. How did you overcome the anxiety of taking classes again? Are drugs really the only way? I’ve been postponing any kind of formation or going back to a course because of this. I’m scared it’s gotten so bad to the point it developed to a phobia of school environments.

 No.5537

File: 1554182032398.jpg (35.42 KB, 300x221, la merca me dejó pelotudo.jpg)

Uuuuu igual depende. Mi última polola al inicio era una persona muy amable, pero con el pasar de los días se fue volviendo una relación super tóxica que duró sólo 3 meses, pero se sintió eterna.

Fue con una amiga que tenía como unos 21 años. Digámosle Feña.

En diciembre del año pasado, durante el velorio de mi abuelo le pedí internet a papá para revisar una cosa, y noté que en el inbox tenía un mensaje de un tipo al cual yo no conocía, en el cual contaba que la Feña mandó un video a un grupo de wsp la noche anterior, donde ella aparecía teniendo sexo con un tipo.

¿Lo cuático? El mensaje del cabro lo adjuntó junto al susodicho video, y reconocí la cara del weón. Resulta que era un híbrido flaite/emo del cual la Feña me hablaba de forma frecuente, y la fecha en la que lo conoció coincidía más o menos con la semana en la que su actitud hacia mí empezó a cambiar.

La bloqueé de todo y me fui del velorio sin despedirme de nadie. Todos andaban relativamente de buen humor en ese momento, así que no quise cagarles el ambiente.

En el tiempo que llevábamos juntos, nunca me dio un beso, ni siquiera un abrazo. Al inicio, cada vez que ella misma sugería esa idea, cuando estábamos a punto de hacer alguna de las 2 cosas sólo se retractaba y pedía perdón, con lo cual yo no tenía problema alguno. Pero luego del cambio de actitud, le daba la weá y me sacaba la chucha justificando que era porque le daba vergüenza. Usualmente acompañaba dichas sacadas de chucha con insultos y palabras como degenerado, gay, enfermo, etcétera. Osea qué cresta.

Lo peor era que me golpeaba en público, y ni siquiera podía defenderme de vuelta porque más de alguien podría malinterpretar la situación, y el hecho de que la cabra era medio victimista y mitómana no ayudaba en absoluto. También, constantemente desquitaba su enojo conmigo, tapándome en insultos y amenazas de diversos tipos.

Es primera vez que le cuento esto a alguien.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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 No.3313[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?

I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.

Being very thin has hurt my self confidence. Also, the only physical activities I like to do are walking and biking, I think this might also make me thin.

Also, this thread can be about general physical help too.
25 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4327

File: 1516292096631.jpg (Spoiler Image, 160.12 KB, 1200x1041, lowres.jpg)

I'm not sure if you can call it an ED but my doctor referred to it as such.

I have an incredible dislike of food (and eating too).
I hate the feeling of food on my tongue, I don't like taste either. I'm fine with crunchy stuff that barely tastes like anything, bread and fruits, vegetables and stuff, which sucks cause in Winter there are only disgusting fruits available from southern countries.
I can't stomach soup or any watery, wet stuff (sauce is sometimes alright if a little is put on a sandwich maybe but that's about it)

On some days I have to remind myself to eat. I'm underweight obviously.
People take it really badly if you don't eat in front of them. It might be a psychological factor from primitive times, sharing food so you know you can trust each other.

 No.4335

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>>4327
soylent.com
terrible name, but I've heard good things. It's a flexible meal replacement; provides calories and most of the necessary shit you can't get in a multivitamin.
>>4322
There wasn't any money to prioritize, madre held the purse strings and she was fucked in the head. I ate what I could get, when I could get it, and cleaned the plate with a vengeance. I dunno, maybe when things were good temporarily and I'd gorge myself I stretched out my stomach. Because I don't feel full until it hurts

Shit, it is so hard to unlearn the habits that kept you alive, even when they start being a problem. I feel for you, at least my problem doesn't entail much work

 No.5412

wasn't until last year that I had difficulties, before then I can't think of any issues arising from eating, even minor ones
but as of about summer 2018 I now can't eat more than a meal a day generally, sometimes 2, sometimes not even a proper meal and just a single slice of toast or something
was 35kg at my lowest, now I generally don't go below 45, and I do stay in the 45-55kg range but it fluctuates so much I think I should just get another set of scales to be 100% honest
it's not great but there's nothing anybody can do so I suppose that's a closed book

 No.5433

I binge/stress eat an alarming amount. Last I checked I was around 300 lbs at 5'0 (this was sometime either last year or the year before, I'm terrified of checking again). Doesn't really help that I live with a neglectful family that sabotages attempts to get my proverbial shit together (including but not limited to keeping the vegetables for themselves or cooking them to taste like garbage). With how little I go outside on top of several other problems I'm honestly terrified that I'm never going to be able to recover. I try to exorcise, but I feel more lethargic and drained of will than ever lately. Fasting helps, but I also don't want to go from one extreme to the other.

Plus, being a girl, the potential side effects of my polycystic ovarian syndrome are constantly looming over me. I feel like I'm in a deadlock and it fucking sucks.

 No.5527

I'm very skinny (18 bmi) used to be even lower but gained a bit when I stopped smoking. I find eating a chore most of the time the only when I was doing nofap and exercising could I find the motivation to eat enough but it always stopped after a while. I think it has something to do with dopamine receptors/regulation which pornography,masturbation and sedentarism wreak havoc on. Reminds me of that study where they destroyed all the dopamine receptors in some rats and they wouldnt eat even if the food was in front of them but if they put the food in their mouth they'd chew and find it enjoyable. It has something to do with drive apparently.
My teeth are fucked up now and I don't have money to fix them so that makes me even more hesitant to eat. Other than that yeah it was and it still is somewhat of a factor of low self esteem.



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 No.5523[Reply]

It's possible to have sort of a life being a hikki/neet. I've been on disability for a while. I've been on it since 18 and I'm 24 now. I had a girlfriend last summer (dating on and off). We finally met last summer, it was everything I could have ever imagined and more. It was magically, and then we rushed into something 'real' even though I was against it and it fell apart.

I met her 7 years ago online. I lost my virginity to her, and hers to me. It was sort of 'perfect' in a sense - but I don't believe there are actual women out there that can stand living in a NEETstyle. In bore down on us and created insane pressure, and we broke up over it. You'd have to be actually crazy hideous female, I think. My ex was thin, quite attractive, she had some skin problems and stuff. Nothing crazy though. I'm just fat, btw. Very, at that.

In my early years, probably highschool- I romanticized NEETdom and being Hikki. It's the worst thing you can do. I was a loser and friendless majority of my growing up and it fostered me into what I am today, but I'm working hard to change that. I DON'T want to be on disability, to be a NEET, etc… all that dysfunction that comes with it. For some it perhaps is inevitable. I am diagnosed mentally ill; some-what textbook Hikki. Honestly, it's the worst change you can have in your life. I loved that girl, and because of my NEET lifestyle it ruined it. I whole-heartily believe that it would have worked out if I wasn't a NEET and used to a terrible lifestyle.

anyways, I think it is possible to have a life being NEET… it's just exceptionally difficult… sorry if this was more of a rant. I am curious of other's struggles with neetdom and their personal victories.

I wish you all good luck and the willpower to improve.


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