/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>4980
None of that has to do with being sweet. Not all lonely people are actually loving on the inside. Many in fact aren't(including myself). She is not, "one of us". First of all, she hates chans and, "weebs". Secondly, she is truly mentally ill and has a warped perception of the world. She is massively hypocritical. I definitely don't identify with her. I don't expect a magic person to come and save the day. Her obsession with cutesy things and candy isn't sweet, it's juvenile. Arrested development. I don't think i'm anywhere near perfect or anything, but look at the list she wrote to describe her ideal person again. That's not sweet.

>>4983
"Weeb" and "chan user" are not personality traits. You could probably very well talk to her while simply keeping quiet about either of those and she wouldn't notice. The language barrier's already enough. If your character is entirely based on being those two things, you might want to reevaluate your life.
In regards to the chan thing, though, you could make the argument that chans perpetuate a certain culture, a way of thinking and speaking, that she dislikes, but you gotta keep in mind that she's Japanese and probably thinking of Futaba and the like, eventually 4chan, judging from a couple of her more politically coloured blog posts (which are all just jokes about Hitler looking かわいい anyway). If using chans has influenced you to your core, being on Uboa and making coherent posts about your feelings and all that gay shit should at least be some kind of confirmation that you're not too far gone to talk to her (since all she does is talk about her feelings). Smaller places like this one tend to have a somewhat different culture, after all. I definitely know that I feel completely alienated if I ever think of posting on 4chan, and the same goes for Uboa's discord where most of that crowd seems to gather, even though I'm perfectly fine with posting here.

However, I entirely agree with what you said about arrested development. The difference between her and ""us"" (whoever that mystical conglomeration might be) is her apparent childishness and naivete. Her expectations of an entirely inhuman being who will devote its existence to her needs - people here have said that they wish for such a thing, but I'm pretty sure all of them ackknowledge that it's impossible and drudgingly accept it. She switches between despising reality for it, to despising herself, which is something some people here might have in common. She's aware of her flaws, she's made posts about hating herself, her looks, her anxiety, her helplessness… But since she doesn't seem to be able to do much for herself (well, she's started to help her mom with cooking or something), the only realistic way for her to find a person she can become closer to is lowering her standards and accepting these same flaws in other people as well. Judging from her posts though, she just seems too self absorbed to ever figure that out. Odd, you'd think such experiences would at least make a person morePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>4983
she is hurt, alone and yearns for someone who will love her as she is. Of course it is driving her insane. Her standards for her ideal person are quite high for what she can offer but she probably just wants her person to be similar as she is. Sure her postings are full of hatred but this hatred is a reaction to not fitting in the world and not having your basic desire fulfilled.

>arrested development
she often posts how she found things in school complicated and nobody ever wanted to explain her stuff. How everyone just left her rot away in the swamp and moved on. She might have had struggles in school but she also reads about nihilism, nietsche and edison so it is hard to evaluate this one.

On the hypocritical parts you are right though. There are many instances where she calls other people fake but also claims she has a fake persona for interaction. At least she does not deny it though. With "one of us" I thought she is reclusive, socially handicapped, lonely and borderline suicidal / nihilistic. She hates weebs and chan users mainly because some of them wrote her only because she is Japanese and they expected a quick fuck. I would also be disgusted and more careful about them in future.

>>4988
School smarts don't encompass all of intelligence, but seeing how she writes and that she has printouts of what looks like math exercises for elementary school students, I dunno…

Oh, and would you mind pasting her comments on nihilism/Nietzsche/Edison that you've mentioned? I'd like to see more of her thoughts on these topics. I do remember her commenting on Freud I believe, saying something like "he's an interesting guy, he thinks in a strange way like me" and generally liking his stuff.

>>4990
i just looked again and she deleted the edison posts.

Anyways, This is my favorites from todays posting:
>I actually already have Popeye arms
>just it is covered by the gross fluffy meats

>see
>where we came from?
>it is like your mom pooped you out
>so we are shit
>real shit

I think she is heavily in depression. She writes that she cannot do much besides sleeping. Always tired. I know those feels as I have the same ones. When I read her postings I can see myself so often in her postings. It really hurts.

I'm afraid of going outside
I'm afraid of how the world works

Insects/Arachnids. They've fucking terrified me since I can remember. Something about the way they move and look incites pure, visceral dread and panic in me. The only way I can stomach killing them is by throwing massive books. The thing about bugs is that they don't care. They would crawl all over you or into your mouth or urethra without a second thought. There's nothing stopping them. Not size nor conscious. A bear sized centipede wouldn't think twice about feasting on the flesh of sheep or humans with the same soulless expression that they always have. They're literally the closest things to monsters on the planet. In my head, killing them is so quick and easy, but when i'm actually face to face with one its like my ability to reason is totally overpowered.
I remember how after a centipede crawled into my bed one time. I was paranoid about it happening again for years after.
When I was in middle school, in the dead of one night I was staying up late on my pc. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what looked like a black spot on the wall. I became completely convinced that it was a stink bug. I just stared unblinking at it for what felt like hours… Eventually I had enough and retrieved this extremely powerful roach spray, which lets off a noxious, head numbing odor, from the kitchen cabinet. When I got back to my room, I was surprised that that unidentifiable black spot was still right there. After staring some more, I finally worked up the nerve to bombard the spot with who knows how many sprays.
It still didn't move or anything. I turned on the lights and saw that it was just a pin in the wall that I put there and forgot about a week before.

Megalophobia, the fear of large objects. These types of things look really cool on images but being in front of one of these has terrified me since I was a kid

All of my phobias are anxiety based…
I have a noticeable stutter, which makes me too nervous to really speak in public.

I get really anxious when I think about how much time has passed since a certain period, I don't know if that fits but it's semi related. Other than that I've been scared of jellyfish. Didn't even get stung I just saw one and thought it looked horrific

>>4724
>there have been cases where if the mind is too deprived of sensation that it will begin to manufacture hallucinations.
I always thought that kind of hallucination you're talking about only happens when you close your eyes in a quiet environment and the sleep paralysis kicks in i.e. night terrors. Feel free to correct me though.

>>4735
IIRC there were some experiments that had a patient locked in a bed. They had been blindfolded and they had headphones emitting white noise and static. Reportedly it manifested in illusions and hallucinations.

do a home purification ritual
it's pretty simple

>>4676
Probably schizophrenia. If you won't get treatment, just ignore the things that are not "normal". If do this for long enough, you'll be able to involuntarily filter hallucinations from real things.

Example:
>some shadow dude told me to fuck off from the outside of the second floor's window
>the probability of that happening irl is 0, ignoring

.

>>4744
Oh, yeah, of course because I didn't adhere to your arbitrary code of conduct it's a waste of time to actually acknowledge my points. Better just call them digs to invalidate them instantly. God, you fags are insufferable.
See, now you should be able to tell the difference between passive and actiive agression.

>>3752
I was bullied a lot when I was preteen, it still hurts 15 years later and killed my ability to trust people.

>>4786
same. until this very day …

>>4703
I fucking love science!!!

OP here, I checked back on this program when less spooked out and found it to be a perceptional comparison and diagnostic tool! Here's my results from the first exercise:

…………

Your Self:

Energetic
Proud
Practical
Lower Class

Ideal Self:

Enthusiastic
Proud
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>4747
Why is your ideal self uncultured?

>>4749

That's a very good question! The scoping tends to deal with shades of personality qualities and synonyms; one such dipole would be sophisticated (worldly/influential) and "small town" (narrow-minded/squareness). I don't think the test is too far off actually with my background taken into consideration. Even though I have some exposure to higher education and literature I would tend to see myself as a "provincial" as opposed to cosmopolitan.

You might want to try it out yourself; the great thing is you have the option to view your qualities in layman's terms or according to psychological adjectives, which possibly means that you could funnel your results into other tests. Admittedly, I don't know much about Leary's work on psycho-metrics, but I'm curious as to where he got his ideas from.

Here's the results of another test I did before I got launched into/from the Fallopian tube.

…………..

Current Love:

Energetic (Wired)
Over-friendly
Creative
Ultra-sophisticated

Ideal Love:

Energetic (Wired)
Confident (Charismatic)
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

And the really cool thing about this system is that it encourages you to take multiple camera shots as part of a progression. It assumes that your self-perception and perception of others is always going to be in flux, allowing you to chart the permutations of your very mind!

>>4585
What would you consider the point of no return in that kind of situation then?

A Hikikomori i've never had a job in the outside world and every time i try to reintegrate back into society i fail i'm just not compatible with society nor do i agree with many of society's rules and expectations i haven't been to the doctor in 5 years and if i were to go back i would probably be diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. i've been isolated since 2007 and i don't live in the real world i avoid life through escapism because of the shitty hand i was dealt growing up and like i said up top every time i try to reintegrate back into society i fail there is nothing for me in this world except escapism and living in my room until i die.

>>4675
Godspeed, I'm rooting for you.
Hopefully you'll be able to escape that vicious cycle.

>>4687
>Hopefully you'll be able to escape that vicious cycle.


Maybe someday but i don't see that happening any time soon.

>>4585
Hurr, you actually take care of your teeth and think that you're a real hikikomori/NEET?

>>4672
thank you for your clarification. It seems to be a scam site indeed.

You could try getting your life together by getting an education.

>>4674
That costs money. A lot of money.

if this cashlords thing is a scam then how about running your own scam? I mean you could set up your scam to target people from rich countries while you live in a poor country that does not give a shit about small fish like you. There is an entire scamming industry in nigeria and india. If you scam some american out of 200$ nobody will try to prosecute you for it or extradict you to usa.

Sei, people are literally suggesting illegal advice. Lock this thread.

>>4649
but anon, we all buttcoin gillionaires here

>>4657
>New Testament
See that's the problem right there. You've gotta read the old testament or just pick up a Torah, which aren't translated in a biased, deceitful way like the, "old testament", is. you might wanna pick up a Kabbalah while you're at it. Listen, there's no, "good", and. "evil", side. God is everything, he is incomprehensible(book of Job). You can't try to simply god into this dumb, childish battle of good vs evil. Nobody can stand before god. Also, Satan is actually an angel. That's right; he's an angel whose job is to tempt humans as a means of testing them. Look it up. So much revisionism and misinterpretation and poor translation plagues the Christian faith. Did you even know that it's actually Yahweh, not, "Jehovah"?
jk, but still, think about it

>>4657
for me it's a similar situation except with painting. Ive been going to an art uni for a year now (still going through second semester) and everything relating to painting now seems to feel heavy and unenjoyable to me( even though i love painting and drawing overall and garnered decent skills over last few years). I feel like a dropout because i havent been attending painting classes for over 6 weeks now, im constantly anxious about professors not liking my ideas or way of painting (ive gotten that criticism from them before, i didnt take it as a personal offense or anything, but it was still difficult to stand up and go paint again). I'm starting to think, that these studies are not for me and it will only destroy my fondness of painting as a hobby, im glad that at least my drawing and sculpting classes are going fine overall and i notice improvements in them.

>>4659
It's not even Yahweh, it's Adonai

>>4557
Ugh, you don't get it. Talking to people isn't as bad as that feeling of exposure and vulnerability.

>>4558
I probably don't understand what you feel. But I feel much more anxious ordering food at anywhere else where I actually have to speak to restaurant staff. At a buffet I can just take what I want, and I generally have a clear idea of what food I want.

>>4593
So you don't hate walking in large crowds and having people look at you?

>>4134
I too hate buffet tables. I feel extremely self conscious whenever I conduct myself around them. Always confused which way I should circle the tables, as people always end up going the wrong way. I always feel awkward when plating up, nervous that I'm going to make a mess or taking too long. I always dread the possibility of tripping and begin to concentrate too much on how I'm walking resulting in me looking extremely weird. I always end up forgetting a piece of cutlery or a serviette that I didn't see was being handed out at the beginning of the line and have to fight my way back to grab it. My anxiety grows the longer I stay and people begin to look at my miserable face with contempt. I end up giving up and retreating back to my table as soon as I can without plating everything that I want because I hate the situation so much. I never end up enjoying the meal anyway because it is simply a hodge podge of random ingredients that don't work together and would much rather prefer ordering something better from a menu.

>>4658
Finally somebody gets it. Moving around tons of people while you're all holding plates and taking stuff is infinitely more uncomfortable and awkward than sitting in a stationary position and having things set on the table for you.

congrats

I'm working on it now. I'm studying for A+ cert and have an interview scheduled for a simple job to keep cash flowing. I started dating a cute girl I went to school with. From here on out it's just a matter of keeping up with both discipline and commitment

>over a year

You are a like a little babby

>>4584
I'm not going to say the struggles don't vary in severity over time, but I'm just gonna say neetdom should not be a contest. If I managed to get out a year and a half in it still would be hard as fuck for me