/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

It dawned on me that my life is so fundamentally different from that of the average human's and that really upset me for reasons I don't really understand. I think about it most evenings now and it's become very hard to sleep at night or get out of bed in the morning.
I read an article about how people were ignoring lockdowns to have sex, and it just hit me in a way I wasn't expecting.
Sex is a thing normal people have, and they have a lot of it. Intimate relationships are a thing normal people have. And that made me feel awful.
Most people have, at the very least, had a hug from a girl before they turned 23. Not me. I have missed out on one of the most basic experiences a human can have, it's only going to get more difficult to have it as time goes on, and being a NEET only going to make that more difficult. Someone suggested that I have sex with a female friend. I have never had a female friend.
I do not know how much longer I can put up with living like this. I have been miserable for the last quarter of my life, but never like this.

>>6389
sex won't make you happy
when people think it does, it's because they're so miserable that even that is better than nothing

>>6389
Sex doesn't matter to me anymore because I have hands. Still, having no emotional connection does make me suffer like nothing else. The lack of physical contact does hurt as well, but not being loved is the worst. I never had any female friends either, and never even met a female that I ever wanted to befriend anyway. Hope I can solve this sooner than later, but now my life is just a bunch of waiting and nothing else. I want to end my isolation but the world is getting in the way. It's almost like it knows.

>>5955
Fucking finding a partner lmao. It's exactly as you say, accepting the fl lifestyle allows you to focus on what makes you happy. I've been way less depressed since giving up on looking for a gf since i realized ive been wasting my time.

Some people ITT talk like only relationships between mentally sound people should be "allowed". Sure, your partner shouldn't be your therapist (because therapists fucking suck), but that doesn't mean you shouldn't help each other if you've got issues. That's a big part of friends or partners.

Not that I'd know, I'm completely aromantic and asexual and possibly autistic. I hope that doesn't detract from my point.

Stop trying to gatekeep mental illness, holy fuck.

>>6438
If you are here at all chances are I wasn't talking about you. Don't be offended kek.

>>6441
Offended? This whole "normalfag" (not "normie", you newfag) is just an unhealthy defense mechanism to feel better about your life.

It'd be a lot better to instead accept yourself AND everyone else instead of being as prejudiced as the stereotypical normal person is. Normalcy is just a spook anyway*, everyone on Earth is a lot more complicated than what appearances tell. And so are most mental illnesses, if you ask me. All this labeling and identity bullshit has done plenty of harm to humanity already.

To add to my point, plenty of so-called autistic people are just people who realize how retarded some social norms and willingly opt not to follow them, but psychologists don't care, it's easier to diagnose someone as crazy and make them take funny pills. And don't get me started on ADHD.

End of rant.

>>6460
I don't say "normalfag" because I'm not a disgusting 4chan neckbeard like the rest of you.(calm your beardless neck my dude)

It's so surreal to think that most people have lives and I don't. Even if I stopped being a hikki, I could never have a normal life, let alone a fulfilling life with nice memories.

Then there's the suicide option which is not that good because it would affect other people, not that anyone would miss me but I don't want to ruin anyone's mental health.

It's one of those things where you have no true solution, you have to make incredible efforts to be *normal* and barely even that, while people who started out in a better place have the means to do more. And when you draw the line at the end, who had the more important life? They don't give a fuck that the odds were against you since the beginning.

>>6420
Hey hikki we do have lives just not normalfag ones but can still enjoy the isolation lifestyle if you cannot stand not being physically near people you are unlucky hikki because I really love being isolated from people :3
Fuck being "normal"

>>6421 yeah isolation is the best!

>>6418
Same.Staying at home is much more preferable then going out and dealing with other people.

I've made my peace with it. Considering a lot of different factors, yes it was provably destined to be like this

>>6365
Not them, but I don't know where to look. I used to post my drawings on tumblr while it was alive, and surprisingly made some decent connections. It sounds silly, but I can't remember how. Time went on, and all those connections are gone now anyway. These days I only have a modest twitter, since I don't like having social media in the first place. Some neat artists follow me, but I have 0 idea how to initiate. I don't like the idea of just DM'ing and saying "Hi, what's up". Maybe we don't even have good chemistry. I don't like the idea of finding people on discord either. It's got a lot of people that aren't my type. All I can find online are either embarrassing meme lgbt weebs, or hans get ze flammenwerfer guys. Anyone exempt who did seem alright, we're really silent, and communication died pretty quick. I hate being the one that has to keep prodding for conversation.

I don't know where I fit in, I don't know where to look. A while back I was even desperate enough to try tossing my hat in /soc/. Besides some people back from highschool, uboachan is the closest I've felt to fitting in before.

>>6369
Same. Only that I don't have people irl.

>>6369
That's pretty much how I feel. In a way, the internet is even worse than real life. I can think of things I could do in real life. Going to the right places would probably work, and allow coincidences to happen. On the internet, I have to be active, but how and where? Even if I go to a place full of people, the fact that it's online doesn't make me suddenly like interacting with groups of people. It's terrible.

Finding similar interests seems to be the key. Discord is weird in that you can join a server for pretty much any anime or gacha game from the last 6 years, and instantly join an autistic 24/7 conversation about say, shipgirls, since that's the channel's only topic. But those people rarely become your friends. The best luck I've had with making friends is finding people with the same sexual preferences and fetishes. It's kind of sad. The men I connect with the most are the ones where we can share pictures and circlejerk together. Outside of them, I'm always the one to initiate. I used to be a coomer who regularly fapped twice/day. I've since cut it down to once every other day, but it seems it hasn't changed me mentally beyond regaining self-control. I can actually spend entire days focusing on my real hobbies without a sexual thought, but they're all solitary. Like I said before, similar interests help but it's not healthy if those interests just make you and your friends enable eachother endlessly. Pic related - I've formed some deep friendships around this fetish.

>>6376
Of course, common interests are a necessity. But I wonder why sexual interests would work better. Seems very strange to me to form connections through that, with people that I'm not even sexually interest in. Not sure if I could do it myself.

What did you experience for you not to be comfortable in your room anymore, anon?

>>6339
>not being comfy in a room because been in a psychiatric hospital
What is it about this that made you uncomfy I am the same and for me it was having people come forcibly remove me and place me with schizos to "help" me.

>i was a neet at a certain point and i was put in a psychiatric hospital because of it
Sounds like your family fucking sucks, dude.

>>6095
That's retarded, being able to fit in society is a matter of your own perspective.

not to say i am a former NEET but i have recovered/relapsed several times, sometimes with years of non-NEETism inbetween the severe relapses (first NEET experience @ 12yo, didn't leave my house more than 6 times that year, and only by force/coercion)

anyway i have never "gotten past" this but finally getting diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the age of 29 sure helped a fucking lot in terms of explaining things (besides the crippling depression, part of which but not all can be attributed to going undiagnosed)

Not going to pretend like things get better and stay better consistently - they absolutely don't- but with the right therapist (HAHAHA GOOD LUCK) and the right meds (again GL finding those) things can improve.

I cannot even watch anime naymore I do not even know how I spend my time I just exist and hate existing and rely on drugs if I have any please do not reach this stage it is horrible.
What is the point of improving if there is nothing to improve for??

>>6357
Society disagrees.

We all need to do "something" with our lives, but you need to define that yourself or you're going to end up like most people on this board.

>>788
Please call them. The best you can do is the best you can do. The best you can do changes when you make a mistake. If you don't call them, you won't learn how to do better.

>But if I could be NEET forever I would, because less people can hurt me if I stay away from them.
I used to be a NEET for a while for this very reason.

Now it's been a few years.

Now I think, "less people can love me if I stay away from them."

It takes a toll on one's mind and body not to do anything for an extended amount of time.
Long story short, I had an incident one time when I went outside. A life changing, broken bones sort of incident. And it made me fucking paranoid to go outside again. I just want to stay inside constantly, but fuck, I also want to enjoy life. I don't want to be a miserable douchebag with no aspirations, I want to enjoy myself.
However, I'm literally scared of everything. So back to feeling shit and being a NEET I go.

>>659
I feel this to be true.
I've been NEET for 7 years now and I feel blessed for having time work on hobbies, learning things and a whole lot of procrastination without really having to worry about the future.

When I was still being push to become something and work on some kind of schedule it made me insanely unhappy each time and I basically never got along with more people at those places either.
If being a NEET isn't destroying you mentally somehow I'd say you should savor it as long as you can, because for most people it will only be a phase in life.

I've been a NEET since 2011, following a suicide attempt partially due to university at the time. I've done nothing ever since, I've made a few attempts at getting back into uni but they've all failed so far. I'm thinking of getting a certificate III in something or maybe even a diploma if I'm capable.

I've wanted to change for a long but my only real motivator for that died a few years back and I've kind of just been floating ever since. I've tried talking to friend and family about it but they don't seem to understand, take me seriously, I struggle effectively opening up or all three of those. I do like the idea of helping people, especially teenagers and new adults figure things out and to avoid them ending up like me, a decade after graduating high school and having achieved nothing. My social anxiety and other mental issues will be a big problem with doing that though, since I barely know how to talk to people properly besides my grandparents and friend or saying basic shit to cashiers while getting served. While I guess I could have fucked up worse, could have gotten on drugs harder than weed, had a bunch of kids I couldn't look after or get an STD or something on par with those, I still feel like a major fuck up for the past decade of absolutely nothing. It's to the point that I have dreams about getting a similar job to my cashier job I had in high school and going over how I fucked that job up, but as an adult this time.

The decade of NEETdom has kept me back, like time while physically continuing feels like it should have stopped at one point. One way I look at it is from console generations. I graduated high school in 2010, the peak of the 360 and PS4, not those consoles are gone, the Wii store is gone, the servers for games I heard were coming out soon are closing and it feels like I just blinked, the consoles that replaced those consoles will be gone soon to.
The three main things I've considered studying to help get me a job is:
Cert III in Health Services Assistance - basically become a hospital orderly
Diploma of Nursing - become an enrolled nurse
Bachelor of Accounting - become an accountant
The bachelor degree will take at least three years to complete though, while the other two are between 12-18 months. This was a mess of a post. My bad. In short, I'm not happy and I'm trying to fix that.

what are you doing step-rifle

>>4509
Atleast you had a girlfriends and have active friends to cry to.

>>5062
I agree, especially with last point. My brain always focusses on the negatives and accepting happiness and become alien for it.

>>5791
I still shower, brush and maintain my daily hygiene. Sometimes it makes me temporarily but no significant changes in the long run. I guess I do these activities to convince myself that I am actively doing something productive

>>5800
I see. Does it help? Also, do you do meditation of any kind?

>>5876
Some people have a gene that allows them to function on less sleep. Do you feel drowsy and/or less productive during the day?

>>6272
I did drop out and I regret it heavily. I got my GED at 17 and got into community college no problem (before that went tits up in its own unique way.) High school has a tremendous amount of hierarchical social bullshit. Yet, not everyone there is like that and I regret not having the opportunity to meet those people and have friends. Plus, it's overwhelmingly lonely and depressing to be in my current situation now where all the young people are feeding themselves to the leviathan instead of building community. At least in high school I would have been around people my age.

I commend you for desiring focus. I too want this, just with other mutually complimenting people. I'm no monk.

Wise words, anon.

>>6274
What groups, anon?

>>6275
I'd prefer not to say. Not just for myself but also because I still respect my ex, despite how I'm still depressed over the breakup. A friend of hers tried to stand up for me on her behalf but that old group I was with still kept to their lies despite her efforts.