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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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We are about to have an influx of refugees from the shuttered 8chan, and this is probably inevitable.
However, this is not 8chan, and it's definitely not 4chon.
Participation is welcome, but a sudden sharp increase of alt-right material and garbage posts will not be tolerated.
Please leave your hitlers, seisatsu.pngs, burning crosses, and shitpost floods at the door.
Even on /ot/, we expect some level of quality in our posts. Please familiarize yourselves with our rules and guidelines, and make sure to lurk before posting.
Also, apologies for deleting the /4chon/ refugee thread outright, I overreacted. There's nothing wrong with such a thread as long as it doesn't cause me too much of a headache.
Enjoy your stay and don't be a dick.
-Seisatsu

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 No.4214[Reply]

I want to go blind. Everything's too overwhelming at this point. Is there a way to go blind without pain? One that doesn't involve stabbing.
If I don't go blind, or become crippled down the legs, I'll kill myself the new year. I hope there is a good way to do this.

 No.4215

I'm sorry, but we can't give you that kind of advice here. Anyone who tried to would be banned. Ask instead how to feel less overwhelmed. Maybe someone has better ideas than yours.


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 No.4174[Reply]

I've been a neet for 4 years, and only recently has a family emergency made me terrified of how i've managed money up to this point. I've always lived in the moment and might have fucked myself over.

So, /hikki/:
-How do you split your neetbucks between savings and day to day living?
-How much recreationally spending money do you allow yourself?
-Do you worry about how easily any day an accident could ruin you? Any other advice?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4179

>>4178
Same thing here. I save around 50-60% of everything that I make now. Most of what I spend now is on food, gas, and helping my folks. I might buy a new game once a year or so.
Wish I had figured this obvious shit out when I was younger, I was buying all that shit to escape with instead of dealing with the severe dysfunction in my life.

 No.4180

>-How do you split your neetbucks between savings and day to day living?
There are no neetbux. My dad pays for my groceries and I have no other expenses or bills.
>-How much recreationally spending money do you allow yourself?
I usually buy 1-2 $5 steam games a year.
>-Do you worry about how easily any day an accident could ruin you? Any other advice?
I've already had accidents. I just have to deal with them as best I can on my own. I've already had to deal with fainting and cracking my head open completely on my own.

 No.4181

>>4179
my life is basically over already.
I quit my job to go to college which I failed. Finding a job as a dropout is very hard because everyone suspects you of beeing a failure (which I in fact am). I asked myself often why I even continue to exist. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore and I have nothing to look forward to for the future. I thought of getting back into the labour force and save up money so I can retire early but then I will be in the same situation like today, just with more money. I will still have nothing to do and I will still be waiting for death.

Sadly I am too much of a coward to finnish myself off so I wonder how I will end in a few years when my savings run out.

 No.4182

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>How do you split your neetbucks between savings and day to day living?

No NEETbux, I live by a mix of parental support and my small home business. I do have some property to my name, which counts as savings I guess.

>How much recreationally spending money do you allow yourself?

Few hundreds a month, mostly because I can afford it.


>Do you worry about how easily any day an accident could ruin you? Any other advice?

Not particularly, because accidents happen and I think it's pointless living in fear / in function of them.

 No.4197

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>>4174
-cant save anything, living on welfare
-20€ a month
-yes, its frightening


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 No.3736[Reply]

So I've been a hikki NEET since May 2015 or so, but that's gonna change in about 3 weeks.


I know 2 years isn't that much compared to most of you guys, but I'm scared. My already mediocre social skills have probably taken a hit since then, so I don't know how will I react around people etc.

These 2 years have been fun in the end, even though I've hardly done anything relevant at all. But now's time to be a member of society again and I'm not sure I can handle it.

I'll be studying software engineering if anyone's interested.

Has anyone here gone through something similar?
26 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4014

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>>4011
It's always good to have some backup-money that could get you through a month or two if the worst case scenario occured (like, say, you lose your job or your car breaks down, similiar to that)
But if you got enough money you can try out new things! Go travel or buy books about new topics you don't know much about, just to see if it interests you.

 No.4017

>>4014
I went on a trip to Seattle recently, I felt happy just wandering around the streets. First time I had felt that way in a long time

 No.4029

>>4006
OP here - once again.
Some days I just feel like quitting, I can't really stand dealing with people 5 days a week.

But I also know that I should get used to this since it will be the norm from now on. I'm not sure I miss my NEET days, but deep inside I know I don't want to go back. I do miss having all that free time to just to whatever and not worry about anything, though.

>>3740
For people on a similar situation, try what this poster said. I can't say I'm the most popular guy, but at least I'm not completely alone either.

It's very interesting to hear your stories, please keep them coming.

 No.4150

I've noticed in the first few months of having the job that my bad social skills had taken a hit in the 3 years I'd been NEETing. There were little bits of fairly toxic behavior that I didn't really notice until about a month ago and I decided that I would simply do better.

I'm slightly better socially now and even online I seem to have eliminated a lot of the stuff I was prone to (part of the reason why I decided to start isolating myself in the first place).

The biggest problem I've got now is figuring out what the fuck to go back to school for, and also to figure out how to cut back on some of the bad habbits that I had while a NEET so I can wake up earlier despite having to work until late at night.

 No.4151

>>4150
Do you have any idea of what you want to do, or not do?


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 No.3778[Reply]

Why are people proud of being neet? Why do they boast about being neet?

I've been neet for 7 years and have never been proud of it or thought it was worth telling others about.
35 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4140

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>>4125
>I believe that politics are relevant here when they're used to justify neetdom. Neetdom is very much relevant to this board.
You would have a point if you were at least discussing politics related to neetdom, but you are just arguing why socialism is shit (and before you shoot me, I agree, it's shit) with other anon who hates the idea that we humans are humans and things never come free. If you are derailing a thread and going completely off topic, and specially with politics, you two would better go discuss this to other place where sperging about the same things again and again ad nauseam isn't a bother the rest of the site (just look at how many people are bitching about it already).
It's not that we don't care about politics, it's that this isn't the best place to discuss them because they're not even in the spirit of this place. Yes, /n/ was always shit, but we had more activity on the past and it didn't matter much. Now, when an autism battle hijacks the front page, it isn't as cool.

 No.4141

I know it sucks that threads are being filled with politics, but its mostly just one guy whos baiting because he got banned from a political board that was linked to from here. The best thing to do wold be to just not respond to him.

 No.4147

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I was never proud of it. Because if i would be someone who insisted on having something to be proud of, then I would not have become a NEET.
If i would be a person that highly values the opinion of other people over his own and therefore prefere to work and to be respektet in society instead of doing what i really want to do, i wouldn't have become a NEET in the first place.

 No.4148

>>4147
>getting up at half past 7
get on my level, my clock bells at 5 am

 No.4149

>>4147
You should be proud of how honest you are with yourself. By the way, what do you like to do anon?


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 No.619[Reply]

Hi, /hikki/. I've been lurking around on here since about 2013 and I really didn't have too much to ask about since I know my more internal problems suck, but they are also more of something that I can fix myself if I try. More to the point I guess, I decided to finally post because I have had my first paying job in three years. It's in retail, and I've been working there since November last year. At first I was relieved to get a paying job, but I learned soon that I just dislike the work and the environment. It's a department store, and I pretty much guard the fitting room area and I have to count the garments that people want to bring in. I'm not a very extroverted person, and I have a few diagnosed mental disorders. Sometimes people come over to try stuff on and they show clear disdain for what I have to do. I still do my job, but I've had many customers act incredibly finicky and rude about me having to check the items they have. Not only that, but some people will complain about things I won't let them do, like not bringing shopping carts into the fitting room even though there is a very noticeable sign that says people can't. I get along with my coworkers well at least, and most of my bosses are also nice. But I'm just tired of dealing with mostly middle aged women in yoga pants with makeup caked onto their faces, complaining about me doing what I'm supposed to do. I've had a breakdown already at work during the holiday time when some bitch refused to let me hand her each garment as I counted them. I used to work at a summer camp as a counselor, working with elementary to middle school aged kids. I got along with most of them and I used to let them watch me draw and I'd give them advice on school and growing up. The camp itself was kind of poorly run though, and when some of the kids got bullied, no one seemed to report it except me. There were also times when other staff were watching stuff on their phones and not interacting with the kids. Despite all that, I actually liked that job more when I look back on it, because I felt useful and that I was helping to contribute to society by inspiring kids to think about their futures and for them to grow up to be good human beings. Now I just feel that I made a mistake accepting my current job. I'm 19 and I still live with my parents. I've talked to my mother about finding another job at an afterschool program or another camp, and leaving my current job on the best terms that I can. She told me that I shouPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
15 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.636

>>635
Salem? Really? How's it feel to live there, particularly on Halloweens? I almost went last Halloween but decided against it. I just live in one of the bumfuck small towns relatively near Boston.

 No.637

>>636
I live on the outskirts, close to Lynn. I have easy access to downtown via the buses, but around October I typically stay in my house and do stuff by myself. My house and yard are cool I guess, but the surrounding areas are fairly disgusting. I can also see the fucking Walmart sign from my place which doesn't help. The forest areas behind it are nice though. Most of the shops downtown except for the tourist traps are pretty sweet. The harbor is also a nice sight in warmer seasons. People make a big deal out of Halloween because obvious reasons here, but honestly come time for the Fourth it's basically the same but without the costumes. I'd say the best time to go would be the spring or summer.

 No.638

>>636
Oh yeah, and the local comic shop sells some animu stuff but unless you're a basic weeaboo or a hardcore mecha fan, it really could be better. I wish they had Touhou merch, that would be cool.

 No.643

>>638
Th-there's no local comic shop in my town. This place has absolutely nothing except for a decent pizza place.

 No.4112

>>619
dump your mom and do what you see best.

if you really want to work, then I suggest you look for a job (literally any kind of job) that would make you happy. there are online jobs, jobs that require no human contact, and jobs that are a living hell. choose one that you enjoy.


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 No.4030[Reply]

I've given up with my life and want to end it but I also want to end it as well for a fuck ton of over people what do?

[spoiler] Thinking about blowing up a crowded subway car or something.
3 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4035

This OP post and IP address have been reported to the appropriately geolocated police department. This is not a place to make terrorist threats, even as jokes, as I am lawfully obligated to take them seriously and forward them, as I always have, to the proper authorities. Hopefully the poster will receive a stern talking to by their local police department and not make such a post again. Please be civil and have taste when making sick jokes. A sick joke can be funny if done right. This is a poor joke, or an actual criminal event in progress.

 No.4037

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>>4035
god bless our overlord seisatsu

 No.4083

>>4030
>I've given up with my life and want to end it but I also want to end it as well for a fuck ton of over people


You probably shouldn't have post this here anon maybe /r9k/ would have been a better place just saying have fun in jail OP.

 No.4084

>>4030
Quick, take a pic of your butthole as it is right now so we can compare it to when you get out of prison.

Also, was uboa down for a few hours for anyone else?

 No.4111

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and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids


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 No.4048[Reply]

tl;dr Former NEET gets dream job and loses it. Debates bringing evidence of inappropriate behavior to the public. Mainly due to freaking out.

At one point in my life I was total NEET for 5+ years. Mental illness, multiple suicide attempts, and an illness in the family led me to moving back home. I existed as a ghost, only leaving the house to take my family member to the hospital for medical treatments. It wasn't fun at all, but I was able to justify the lack of motivation to do anything as 'doing the right thing' by taking care of said family member.

At around the 5 year mark, my family member passed away. It was a serious emotional trauma but I put off dealing with it by choosing that moment to try my hardest to get a job. I hustled despite my fears and anxieties and managed to get a job. It wasn't something I'd ever wanted to do but it gave me the chance to use work as a drug. It lasted a few years and gradually came around to me quitting because of the mental anguish involved. I did the NEET thing for a year and on a whim tried out a new job.

This job was fucking nuts. It was so demanding and chaotic that it completely consumed me. It was a career field I had never even considered doing in the past. Same with the last job, but as it turns out, I was actually really good at this new job. It wasn't the type of place where my being weird stood out. Everyone there was at least a little weird. In under a year I had been promoted to the highest position possible before becoming an executive. People worked under me and I did everything in my power to lookout for them. This led to me working 80+ hours a week. There was a little burning the candle at both ends but for once in my life I finally felt like I'd found my place in the world. I was exposed to things and places I never would have done firsthand if I was still in NEET mode. I regularly partied with celebrities, saw movies and TV shows months before anyone else, and even developed a close-knit group of friends (most of which were incredibly talented or powerful people).

Then it all came crashing down. Two years into my tenure there, past scandals came out to the public and the job suddenly disappeared. People were harassed, assaulted, or worse. In a matter of weeks I lost the family I had come to discover because of inappropriate actions that happened years before my time there. Unbeknownst to me in my time there I'd gathered quite a bit of information without directlPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
20 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4105

>>4096
If you were the person I was replying to, you didn't answer my question about whether or not you have been to Hollywood. If you have only seen what you have seen on TV of it, you have no idea what you're refuting when I call it a crack house. Also, if you've never been to a crack house, you have no idea what you're refuting.

 No.4107

>>4105
Saying that I don't know what I am talking about or don't have the right to an opinion because I personally haven't been to Hollywood or a crack house does not constitute an argument. It doesn't matter if Hollywood was literally hell on Earth, it still doesn't have to be that way, so my point still stands. Op should not live in fear because the place he enjoys being in is infested with vermin. Come up with something better, or stfu.

 No.4108

>>4107

Let's break down your statement instead of taking it as a whole.

>Saying that I don't know what I am talking about because I've never been to Hollywood

Actually, it completely means that you don't know what you're talking about.

>or don't have the right to an opinion because I personally haven't been to Hollywood

Show me where I said this, please. It's an excellent strawman, but I can't recall saying this.

>or a crack house does not constitute an argument.

The crack house analogy was only to illustrate that Hollywood is not the clean, wholesome, loving, place so full of Dreams and Rainbows that anybody makes it out to be.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.4109

>>4108
Just because I haven't physically been in Hollywood, that doesn't mean shit. I don't see how that is even relevant. You bringing it up as if it is relevant is you telling me that I don't have the right to an opinion, or at least I don't have the right to share it. If you're not saying that, then why try to frame things like I am automatically invalid because of some bullshit criteria that you made up? I'm not defending Hollywood, I am saying that the state of Hollywood should not affect op's decision making. You're telling op to be a coward. People shouldn't only simplemindedly pursuer their self-interest. If op has already decided to come out, don't try to strike doubt in their heart because you personally would choose to play it safe at the expense of your own ideals.

 No.4110

gay larp thread


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 No.4036[Reply]

How can I get autism bux in Australia?
I have been diagnosed with moderate functioning autism professionally. I have the documents that support this that are signed. Not sure what to do from here..
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4040

>>4039
I agree with this wholeheartedly.

 No.4041

People over here just love your type.
https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.rs/
Why don't you introduce yourself? Just make an introduction thread and bask in the love.

 No.4042

>>4041
ED has been terrible for years.

 No.4043

>>4039
>safe space
Didn't know Ubuu was supposed to be a hugbox for libtards.

 No.4044

>>4043
Stop bringing politics into every single part of your life for once. I don't want to hear about that filth and it's completely irrelevant. Not every phrase ever said on the Internet is politics related believe it or not.


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 No.2758[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

I used to post here before but stopped after living a normal lifestyle, for a while atleast. I got fired and I've been jobless for like months now. My previous motivation to work on my personal projects and illustrations have all since diminished. I feel only apathy when playing games or watching stuff like I used to enjoy. Nowadays I just constantly press f5 on various image boards to pass time and listen to songs I've heard countless of times before already. Then I remembered this place and feel like I should share this here.

Please feel free to share your current situation here so we can feel alone togehter or some gay shit.
206 posts and 67 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4024

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>>3915
Fuck this post, Doll-anon, rereading this was a shitty cop-out post. I need to become a better poster and get my real point across from the get-go from now on.

I have a tendency to really think about posts that stick out to me on imageboards. I remember that thread a lot better now and my intentions. I'm not making this post out of anger, this is honestly more for me. I should respect you enough to not just give you some half-assed "I'm sorry bruh". It felt really shitty for me.

When I saw that first post saying that you was you never had sex and never would, it made me think that you wanted it but eventually gave up. It was the reason why in the mist of me avatarfagging and ranting about my own issues I pointed out that I felt that you likely wanted sex more than you let on. It's true that the discussion was more focused on sex, but each post I just saw a general theme, and it was pretty much confirmed with >>3914. I focused a little too much on sex and monster girl meme shit but you just come off as someone with little passion or drive. I mean, I still remember the pastebin you posted as well, it all came off as someone who was too fucking distant. I know this personally because I often did the same shit to people, especially when I was much younger. You mentioned projection, but projection is common when someone sees another people that mirrors them pretty closely. I projected a lot because I saw similarities between us, people are not that unique, really.

Now maybe you are a lot more social now, in which case, the discussion no longer applies. Maybe you are satisfied with just a shallow social circle and a daily grind that is littered with small distractions like vidya games and anime, but that just sounds like settling to me. Forget having sex and getting a girlfriend, or using your own example, owning a tank for that matter, your general attitude is what worried me and wanted to help you.

I'm not going to say that you can magically get anything you want, but just shrugging your shoulders like adorable Renge-chan isn't the solution either. But this post isn't about solutions or even to help you because I'm done helping people who didn't ask for help or throws out advice or ideas. Which brings me to the actual thread this whole discPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.4025

>>4024
Yeah well, I think you just went from having one complex to having another one. Going from being excessively defensive and opinionated to excessively apologetic and self-deprecating isn't that much of a step up. To me complaining = asking for help. That's just my standard and i'm going to stick to it and believe in my own ideals. If you bitch about anything to other people ever, they have the complete right to give whatever advice they feel is would help. If you don't want poeple to do this, don't complain to them. People shouldn't expect others to tell them what they want to hear when they invite themselves to be spoken to. Basically I don't think you did anything wrong. If doll-anon was truly hurt by your words then there was many ways for them to disengage from the conversation. Have a good day and please stop belittling yourself.

 No.4026

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>I just spent all this time over an ancient discussion
Now I feel like a silent therapist of sorts, like that midget in the willy wonka movie.

Basically, what >>4025 says. Chill out.
When I realized things weren't going anywhere I stepped out the topic. My posting on the conversation wasn't so much a complaint but just a "This is my case and things don't necessarily have to be the way you guys think". Then it was dismissed and the point derailed into a topic I had no problems with. No need to worry about it so much, I've been on imageboards long enough to engage in many retarded discussions of every sort, so it's not like it killed me inside or anything like that.

>Now maybe you are a lot more social now, in which case, the discussion no longer applies. Maybe you are satisfied with just a shallow social circle and a daily grind that is littered with small distractions like vidya games and anime, but that just sounds like settling to me. Forget having sex and getting a girlfriend, or using your own example, owning a tank for that matter, your general attitude is what worried me and wanted to help you.
Some time when I was a pre-teen (maybe slightly before, I can't tell), I realized there was a gap between me and most of the people I knew. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean I was a special snowflake of some sorts, it's just that I couldn't understand people and I felt like they were at the other side of a deep chasm. I engaged on my own interests while neglecting socialization and I came to appreciate my time in solitude, where I could do as I pleased. I've grown up practically living like this, so now that I actually know some people who happen to share those interests I simply talk them out and engage in the socialization I neglected for all these years, since these people happen to have one of their feet on this side of the chasm.
I still have some little problems, yes; for example, I notice I change when around people, I tend to do very silly jokes and put on a childish attitude for the sake of joking, and sometimes I don't like how I act. Some part of me inside is calling me out for being too extrovert. But I don't think that is bad at all, it's just that it's new, and my brain is too overwhelmed with all the new activity. Old habits are hard to break, after all, and years jokiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.4027

>>4025
>Stop belittling yourself
One habit I want to break, my early rants used to be in that belittling style.

>excessively apologetic
Ugh, that's what I wanted to avoid. I recently decided that I was just going to be apologetically me, because in general I'm not a bad person so why the fuck am I saying sorry a thousand times a day?

>>4026
>Chill out.
Completely unrelated to rest of the post, but I'm pretty calm now. Slept way better knowing I was more concise with my point and of course was much more honest and upfront. That said, long emotional spiels like that are why I make private journals for me to bitch and be as nonsensical or whatever if need be. Then I think way clearer.

>A solution solves a problem. What is the problem you see here, exactly? Neglecting parts of life people generally agree are needed for finding happiness? Disregarding experiences because they don't really tingle enough inside me? I'm honestly interested.

A little of both I guess, but those kinda goes back to the to fact that if I feel that someone is being indifferent to something that is somewhat important because I at this point in time, I feel that my indifference to a number of things messed up certain elements of my life. Plus, I feel like if I'm not improving in some way, then I'm just stagnating. So if I see that in someone, I really hope they at least make baby steps for a better life. But it's more than just you though, in real life I have a younger brother making similar mistakes I made. Of course, he won't listen to anybody, I didn't mention that because, not relevant but I guess it kinda is since it relates to how I view problems. Indifference and the regret or problems that often come from is just something I see in myself and other people and it annoys me.

 No.4028

My job training starts soon. I had to get a job eventually but I really just want to curl up in a ball and stay in my room.

>>4013
I haven't released anything yet, sorry. What I'm hoping to make someday is a cute low poly game packed full of dreams which I've had over the course of my life. Even after such a long time I can still remember a lot of them to varying degrees.

So far I have character designs and some rudimentary location sketches and a massive rough draft map linking the areas together. My biggest hurdle which I have yet to overcome is that I have no idea how to "accurately" fill up explorable areas of locations which I never went to when I was dreaming. I was originally hoping it would be 100% dream content with no filler/made up content just for the game, but since that won't be possible I'll just have to figure something else out and deal with it.

Once I seriously start making progress I'll most likely talk about it here.


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 No.3641[Reply]

Feeling suicidal right now. I have what my doctor calls major clinical depression and I also have some drug addiction. I've been living the neet life this year because I dropped out of school to be on medication. I feel like I'm only going to college in the first place so people don't yell at me.
I don't think I've posted here in years. I'm a wreck right now because one of my friends who has used this site from time to time died of drug overdose recently.
None of my friends seem to like me anymore and everyone I've cared about seems to hate me now. I have no motivation. I feel dead inside. All I want is to not be alone but I can't seem to alleviate that.
I've just been sitting here listening to sad piano music crying for an hour or so. I don't know what to do.
I'm a giant waste of potential no one cares about and I'm only getting older from here.
I can't function without antidepressants anymore. Nonstop suicidal thoughts all day everyday. I got back on them this week because I was going crazy again. I live in constant fear that I'm just going to snap one day. When I'm off my meds I have impulses to kill myself and my brain tells me exactly how to do it. It bothers me that I could end my life in less than a minute at all times.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm probaby never going to kill myself I'm just stuck in a constant state of my mind telling me to.
54 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3777

>>3776
I posted here sad and than in the very next post I made I made it clear I realized what had happened to me and that I was going to reflect on my behavior. My only regret is not being clear headed on what I was doing until now. If you feel like your volunteered time is wasted it seems like more your issue. I feel like if read properly there is a lot to learn about depression, the human psyche and existence, brought to the front of our minds for discussion.

After thinking things out I don't think people hate me and I don't really hate anyone else. I feel like we are suffering from a cosmic chain of karma where one person is poorly reacting to another person poorly reacting to something else over and over. I seek the truth a lot of the time in order to see things like this.
I don't hate people, I just get overwhelmed a lot. I'm pushing my thoughts in places like this imageboard post in order to uncover the truth about how I really feel and use what I learn from exploring to better myself. A long time ago is that if you don't put any attempt into nurturing your emotions it is going to slowly hurt you as a human being.
Anyway, I have a therapist and they are actively working with me to realize where depression has damaged my thinking patterns and self image. I feel embarrassed to be putting the worst possible version of myself in plain view to be quite frank. If you feel angered as an anonymous blip of energy by this thread I don't know what else to tell you.

 No.3786

>>3777
op here
man i'm a dick
I realize now my spirit has been very hostile to people lately. I just don't know how to work up the courage to turn that part of me off anymore. I'm really afraid of being taken advantage of again.

 No.4021

My mind is back on the subject of depression holes again. It's interesting to witness the effects of my deteriorated mental state when I make an intent of marking my place in the world somewhere such as a messageboard. Where was I at that moment? Why couldn't me in that moment feel the more overall lucid me? What thought mechanisms led me to think this way? Where did I pick these thought mechanisms Up? What do I give to others? That last question is one of the things that bothers me the most about my own depressive episodes. I have an extremely large presence due to the the nature of me being one of intellectual pursuit and awareness. That combined with being someone well studied at expressionism I feel like I can get people to understand the thought mechanisms I am using to think of the things I'm trying to express. Basically I am good at letting people know how I came to my conclusions(although this isn't always true due to the inherent imperfectness of nature, at least that's what I'm going to say for now anyway "don't quote me on anything")

 No.4022

File: 1509745993229.jpg (157.52 KB, 850x612, __karl_marx_real_life_draw….jpg)

>>4021
I've got a question for you. You're one of the hikki-phantoms(that's what i'm gonna call people who only post in the hikki board) so you should be able to answer me. Why don't you guys ever post in any other threads, huh? Where were you on Halloween? Anyway, I feel like you're just drowning in your own pseudo-intellectualism. Instead of trying to change you, just brood and write long, overly verbose sentences to ask meaningless questions.
>It's interesting to witness the effects of my deteriorated mental state when I make an intent of marking my place in the world somewhere such as a messageboard.
Get a real hobby and mark the world with something more meaningful. At least write an actual book.
>Where was I at that moment?
Which moment?
>Why couldn't me in that moment feel the more overall lucid me?
Were you on drugs when you wrote this? Stop doing drugs. Depression does not force you to be a drug addict. It may be hard to quit, but depression or not, you should either at least try or be content with your shitty life and not complain about it, or try to improve.
>What thought mechanisms led me to think this way? Where did I pick these thought mechanisms Up?'
By thought mechanisms do you mean thought patterns, or the biological functions that cause thought? the latter can't be, "picked up", so i'm going to guess that you mean the former.
>What do I give to others? That last question is one of the things that bothers me the most about my own depressive episodes.
Care to elaborate on why this bothers you, or on anything at all in a clear way? You probably give them nothing. It is unbelievably arrogant of you to think that you're giving anybody anything by explaining your, "thought mechanisms", and philosophical ideas. This is especially true because of the surplus of philosophical writings that already exist and are better than anything you or I could come up with.
>I have an extremely large presence due to the the nature of me being one of intellectual pursuit and awareness.
No you don't. you have practically no impact on the world just like almost everybody else.
>That combined with being someone well stuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.4023

>>4022
>I've got a question for you. You're one of the hikki-phantoms(that's what i'm gonna call people who only post in the hikki board) so you should be able to answer me. Why don't you guys ever post in any other threads, huh? Where were you on Halloween? Anyway, I feel like you're just drowning in your own pseudo-intellectualism. Instead of trying to change you, just brood and write long, overly verbose sentences to ask meaningless questions.
I have many other posts on this website then just on /hikki/. I guess I'm just posting because yolo?

>Get a real hobby and mark the world with something more meaningful. At least write an actual book.
I'm a writer, message boards are just one of many portals I can access too improve my skills.

>Which moment?
The moment when I posted on this messaeboard, although I guess I'm also trying to sum up the idea of a vague moment of artistic expression and the idea that we can analyze those moments in the future with new eyes.

>Were you on drugs when you wrote this? Stop doing drugs. Depression does not force you to be a drug addict. It may be hard to quit, but depression or not, you should either at least try or be content with your shitty life and not complain about it, or try to improve.

Yea I was on drugs when i wrote this, I took some stuff to undo the damage to my brain that antidepressents did. A vicious cycle I know but I do not plan on taking any more substances from this point

>By thought mechanisms do you mean thought patterns, or the biological functions that cause thought? the latter can't be, "picked up", so i'm going to guess that you mean the former.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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