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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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New board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs, and people with school/work/reintegration issues: Ex-NEET / Recovery

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officially back to neetdom after being fired recently, it was only a few months of shitty work. first job i've had in this new state in 3 years and dropped out of college 1 year ago.

wondering if my options above are really all i have left.

i found working on below-subpar wages for months on end, dealing with manic depression and mental instability from my mom's failing health and my father's abuse, dissociation-episodes from body dysmorphia, and stress/anger issues with customers isn't the life i want to keep dealing with.

my folks are adamant on kicking me out if i dont find a job again, but being a useless queer fuckwit with no skills and no goals besides reading manga and playing vidya online with peeps, aka being the lazy asshole im only ever gonna be, makes it hard to wanna find reasons to go back into wagecucking.

do i skip steps and just rope or try and just fail to get buxs from SSI or some shit?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


>>"lgbt tranny here can I get donations! UmU here's my discord 0w0"(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)


u aint wrong anon, u aint wrong


I'm very sorry that you're in that situation, OP.

Personally I would never go for the rope unless I thought that without doing so I might end up in a situation where I wouldn't even have the option - for example, I might consciously consider the rope IF I was facing some sort of awful disease that might render me unable to make the decision and execute it at some point. I don't think there's any shame in choosing to exit, and I don't think you have anything to worry about as I believe in a resurrection of the dead, so you'll just wake up afterwards, but it's a really horrible decision to even consider, and so long as you're alive I guess there is always at least some hope that things will improve, and at least some hope to find some sort of happiness or meaning.

I think, so long as you're not suggesting damaging yourself first in order to be able to get it, that you should at least try for the SSI, though you'd have to consider the possible consequences of doing so for yourself (sorry I don't know much about the US system). I know from my own experience on NEETbux that it can be very hard to escape that situation once you've been in in long enough, and my situation has been very bad at points - but then again, I'm not sure the alternative was any better, if I'd continued working I'm sure that right now I'd just have wasted vastly more time serving other people, rather than at least having some time to myself as a NEET (even if in the end, my family stole vast amounts of it during that that time).

I don't think there's any shame in doing the sugardaddy thing so long as you don't actually have sex. If you can find someone willing to pay you to see photos or videos or something, it may not be ideal - but considering the amount of humiliation and subjugation involved in 'normal' wageslavery, I'm not sure that it's any worse. I don't see it as exploitation in either direction, but it's absolutely disgusting that people might have to reduce themselves to that rather than get support from 'society'. People in general should be ashamed for allowing such a situation to exist.

Maybe if you find a way to subsist for now, you'll eventually at least inherit your parents house if they own it? I see it as your parents having a moral obligation to support you, no matter how old, considering they brought you into the world and are responsible for your upbringing, so it's pretty terrible of them to want to toss you out. Is there Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


updating, still alive but not well.

however this virus turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me in a variety of ways

1. my folks actually care about me and wont kick me out in the middle of a pandemic
2. everyone around me now is living my lifestyle so im understood a bit better by some
3. im not able to get a job during all of this

but, shit still aint great or even good in the slightest.

unemployment benefits in my state is taking forever to come through, i havent gotten a stimulus check either, and im still waiting to hear back about disability / SSI shit so while i am "safe" to stay and be more of myself, im still not in any better of a financial situation.

its stressing me out and while i dont feel as bad as i did at the start of this, it's still hurting and terrible in my eyes and if anything i am believing the second this pandemic ends, i might just have to give it all up and just do it already.

for as much as i talk about this 'an hero', ill be honest and say i still fear it and still am pushed to keep going by some natural instinct to stay alive. say what u will about being over-dramatic and being being a fucking special snowflake pussy, but thats just the point, i am that shit and right now im still considering adding myself to the suicide rate of people like me.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


Lots of people get SSI $700 a month
Some people get SSDI $1,000 month
If a parent is dead you could get Survivor Benefits $1,400

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>A Hikikomori on the other hand (abbreviated hikki) is someone who seals themselves inside their home and does not leave at all for any reason, generally for 6 months or more in the clinical definition. Some NEETs are hikikomoris, but not all hikikomoris are NEETs – for example, a hikikomori could work or take classes from home. Sometimes "Hikikomori" is used less formally to describe a person who very rarely leaves their home due to social anxieties, and this can go hand in hand with the isolation often brought about by the NEET lifestyle.

This is incorrect i think we need to clear up this misconception all hikikomori are NEETs having a job or receiving an education means you are still apart of society. The Japanese government describes hikikomori 引きこもり as those who do not work do not go to school and isolate themselves in their parents house in their rooms for 6 months due to mainly social and cultural triggers related to Japanese society and while NEETs are global hikikomori is mostly only a Japanese problem and there are only a few true cases overseas in the west due to the cultural differences between the east and the west. Also the verb 引く has only one k, and 引く is the Japanese word for pull and hikikomori means to pull inward or (Acute Social Withdrawal)

Video by a gaijin living in Japan who has researched hikikomori.


If you have a difference of opinion that is okay this thread is meant to be a civil debate thread so admin please do not lock this thread.


>admin please do not lock this thread
damn, look at this guy knowing the admins intended culture


Institutions already alienate us, why should we care for their rigid definitions? I think there is a difference between NEET and Hiki but the Hikis themselves should define this. Considering the complexity and variation of humans at large I'd imagine there are gradients of hikikomori. I don't know where that line is between hiki and NEET but a ridged adherence to strict definitions only creates walled gardens, at least with things like this. Discussing what a hiki is isn't the same as something more concrete like physics.


>I think there is a difference between NEET and Hiki

The only difference is one can be social while not contributing to society the other is isolated completely or nearly completely here is some more interesting info i found on some Japanese websites regarding hikikomori.

From Japanese Wikipedia.

引きこもり(引き籠もり[1]、ひきこもり、英語表記 hikikomori[2])とは、仕事や学校に行けず家に籠り、家族以外とほとんど交流がない人の状況を指す。現時点では、日本の厚生労働省はこうした状態が6か月以上続いた場合を定義としている

Acute Social Withdrawal (Withdrawal [1], Withdrawal English notation Hikikomori [2]) refers to the situation where people cannot go to work or school, stay at home, and have little interaction with their family. At present, the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare defines these conditions as having lasted for more than six months.


Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


NEET The acronym for (Not In Education Employment Or Training) The acronym NEET refers to those who have given up and refuse to attend school work or vocational training

Freeter フリーター

Japan's word to describe those who work part-time jobs with low pay and have a hard time earning a living.

Hikikomori 引きこもり

Hikikomori is a Japanese term when translated into English it means pulling inward being confined (Acute social withdrawal) it is Japan's word to describe those who have isolated themselves in their parents house refuse to attend school or work and stay in their bedrooms for very long periods at a time due to social and cultural reasons related to Japanese society (Generally 6 months)

Unemployed Person

A unemployed person is someone who is temporarily unemployed but still seeking out employment looking for a job and is willing to work

Self-Employed Person
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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By self-improvement I mean doing more than the basics (getting a job/moving out), non-essential things like having hobbies or a social life. If I start now I will be quite old-ish by the time I see results, and most people will be moving on to something else. I cannot fill the gaps in experience, just make try to catch up and pretend I'm not behind.


just try to catch up*


Plenty of people either do those things because they want to, or because they think they can find additional social acceptance for having done them (which is really just another way of saying they want to do them). If wanting to do them doesn't apply to you, then don't. But understand what frequently befalls those who choose not to do those things.


I was a loser a few months ago. I'm still a loser, but now I can play the piano at a very bad grade 2, draw very poorly, and just about understand Japanese spoken by a small child.
Still, I'd recommend it, especially if you're a NEET like I am, since you'll be doing something with your time. I started doing these because I wanted to.
My regret is not starting earlier, since I'd be way more proficient than I am now, and probably enjoying it more since I won't have the frustrations that come with being inept at things.

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I know this might be a little silly, but does anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki? I've tried joining discords and other places, but a lot of them feel so heavily occupied that it sets off social anxiety for me and I just can't talk.

It seems hard to find smaller places to make friends while still feeling comfortable. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips, thank you for reading.
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I'm looking for a place like mentioned too. All I have is a small twitter circle of people but something like a discord does sound kind of tempting.


Penpal sites


Try smaller discords, facebook groups, forums, etc. It's also good to look for communities centered around something that interests you, so you already know what topics to break the ice with when starting a conversation.


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These "plz direct me to obscure net circles" threads are always awful, but are there seriously people recommending facebook groups? Listen anonymous; every single hangout on the internet revolves around hobbies. You can browse forums dedicated to knitting cute sweaters, to finding torrent groups willing to share the most FUBR fetish porn vids. Think to yourself what activity on the internet do you partake in the most. If you like saving pictures of anime girls you found on pixiv, *insert imageboard community* exists for that. Despite what some people might tell you, forums and IRC haven't been taken over by reddit or anything of the sort.
>anyone have tips for making friends while being a hikki
For the record, people that "want to be friends on the internet" will want to mic chat with you or pressure you into doing things for them. They want friends that have a skill set. If you don't have any real skills like drawing, music or programming, for example, then they'll probably ghost you or kick you from whatever group you share.


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Well personally I like browsing the sanctionedsuicide forums but I don't know if it counts as a hobby or not.

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Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.

For example, I saw someone a while back on a Discord server and they're probably the only person who shares the same interests on the server as I do. I can't get them out of my head and am constantly thinking about doing stuff together. I've got a circle of friends already, but I just feel some sort of a special connection (?) to them. Am I becoming a creep or something?
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i've been following the same group of writers for three years across tumblrs, across twitters, across chatzy, but they're growing steadily more secretive with their writing, (e.g. you have to submit a few pieces of your own to gain access to their discord channels or whatever). it's somewhat stressful but i guess i've gotta move on/keep what i have on me and get rolling


I never really imagined creating a real friendship back when I had internet friends but I did daydream a lot about meeting them in public and having quick conversation, I actually rehearsed some lines and had imaginary conversations with myself as practice in case if that happened, even though I knew none lived anywhere near me.


That's called love.


>Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.
When I was younger, I used to hero-worship internet friends and obsessively check for new things they'd post to forums. It would always be one person at a time. Thankfully, I don't think I ever made it obvious to them, and I stopped doing it.


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Very relatable, especially when I was younger. There have been figures on the internet with many niche hobbies that I've shared. When I was obsessed with these types of people, I eventually found alt accounts which were very easy to find. Of course those alts eventually lead to me finding their telegram handles, their steam, which directed to me finding their friends, which then lead to me finding even more about them. It was very embarrassing each time when I had to cut ties with all of these seemingly likeminded individuals on the net, because they thought I was some guy trying to "fuck up their life" by knowing all of this shit that was readily available online. There was only one special case where that didnt happen and I still talk to him today; but even then, when I archived and reup'd stuff he used to post online, he also got creeped out, but doesnt seem to care now

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I was thinking about Youtubers, Twitch streamers and people who get paid for basically being on the internet and doing something that a monkey could.
These people could easily qualify as NEET, right? They spend up to 8 hours or more a day playing videogames or vlogging or something and most of their income comes from their fans.
Yet nobody really bats an eye at them other than the occasional angry dude that gets way too bent out of shape over people getting money from fans rather than employers. But with NEETs there's a higher level of stigma, telling them they're parasites and that they need to work on themselves and conform. Is the difference really as subtle as simply getting money? Or providing a service, even if it has little to no effect on society and the person's community?
What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?
Also have any NEETs here attempted this? Would you?
Is it viable? etc etc
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You have talked yourself into a paranoid delusion about PC costs and functionality. Nothing I can say will talk you out of it because you use it as an excuse for your failings.




>Translation: "I know better what goes on in your country than you do, faggot!"



I think the answer to "Why is it like this" is that most people simply receive their opinions from others by tradition and don't think about things that much themselves, this leads to massive inertia when it comes to 'major' changes to perception and organisation of society. Their opinions are also very much aligned with their own PERCEIVED economic interests - central banks create money out of nothing, lend it to government and banks, creating a 'debt hierarchy' that most people are too busy caught up in climbing to question. Because of the amount of wealth, stability, etc in the world today most people in this hierarchy ARE doing relatively well for themselves (at the expense of those below them), most of these people are also very focused on the idea of climbing high enough in the hierarchy that they can essentially either live without working by relying on those lower in the hierarchy, or live and work for personal fulfillment with an increasingly luxurious lifestyle. NEETS under this system have little to no resources to really even express their views as individuals let alone politically organise to the point of creating coherent and loud enough narratives to 'convince' a bunch of people to stop climbing the hierarchy in the interests of everyone.

This is something you might experience first hand directly from wagies. The wagies in my family all have this internalised mentality that because they work and I don't, they are justified in treating me like dirt, practically. They partly do this because they RESENT the fact that you're surviving without doing the work they are, and probably resent you too for having slightly more independence and strength of character to resist. These people are absorbed in climbing the hierarchy most of the time and so they don't have the time to consider more rational systems. In some funny ways, NEETs have more in common with the super-rich leisure classes than the average person working away at their job, because the elites have time and leisure to consider alternatives.

The irrationality and unfairness of the present system could never be more obvious - I have spoken to multiple people who simply inherited so much money that they'll never have to work a day in their lives, while other people wear their bodies and minds out day after day serving people who are higher up in the hierarchy. Lots of people simply repress any awareness of all of this, though - because as I said they're trying to Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


>What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?

One thing about this is that you might not realise it, but a disproportionate amount of those who become successful Youtubers etc today are already from middle\upper-middle class families, with a degree of leisure and enough spare money to try things out without risking falling into poverty. It boils my blood to think of the number of talentless youtubers who get paid by a megacorporation to repeat memes that were made for free by people 10 years ago. They pillage the public sphere for their own selfish purposes, ruining internet culture and prostituting everything, and most of them don't even really need the money.

You're also mostly only seeing the 'successes' when you see these 'Youtube celebs' online. If you look around you can find people who tried hard, and even put in a lot of effort and got nowhere on Youtube, and even then you're looking at those who tried to make a go of things on Youtube, rather than the many more people trapped slaving away in wage labour or stuck in NEET obscurity.


very good post i agree

very good post i agree

i dont like any of the other posts.

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Around 10 years ago, I lived a very reclusive lifestyle and I was very miserable, I don't wanna go on details or to give away who I am, but something happened, something saved me from that, those years I worked hard on redoing my life, I got a job, a future, and became a better person, I had everything you could dream of that would make you happy, and more.
Now I lost all of it, and I'm scared I'll go back to how it was before, how do I go on? I'm not asking for back pats or pity, I just genuinely want to know how do you continue after losing everything.
I honestly want to, I am seeking professional help, and I try to stay focused at work, but nothing is working.


Nothing lasts forever man, not even when life is going good for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it, more than likely it’s something that wasn’t entirely in your control. But hey, look at it this way, if you were able to drag yourself out of being a recluse already what’s stopping you from doing it again? Just don’t give yourself the option of going back to your previous lifestyle, as enticing as it may be at times.


Exact same situation here. I would write many things and I have thought about it so much but in the end it's just that. I have no answers, sadly…


My life's goal is to tell the stories of people like you guys.
Too often we only hear from the people who succeeded, who made it in life, who had the ideal family and kids, house and car, job, status, etc. … the 'winners' in other words… and so we have a natural bias towards those types of people, and it unfairly colours our opinions. But in reality, most people don't win; most people fail, but we never hear from them because they don't make it.
Basically, I'm saying that you have a story worth telling, so for that reason alone, you have a duty to come through this, because I know there's at least one person out there who needs to hear it.

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What are your MBTI types, /hikki/ ?

I recommend taking a few different tests and understanding what each letter means. I'm also guessing that most people here are INxx

Some people discredit MBTI, but I think if you treat it a a rough guideline, it can offer some good insights to yourself and others.

INTP wasted-potential masterrace reporting in
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>no friends
Born to suffer.


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As primitive as Myers Briggs alone is to judge someone, and as fickle as judging by spectrums can be, if you're not INTP or ISTP or similar wreck'd tier personality you don't belong on an imageboard and are a normalfaggot invader.

>oooh a zodiac faggy thread
>>I'm cancer

It's hilariously awful stuff it is and also data mining.

>>these bum zoomers and gen y's and x's, the ones with INTP and ISTP can't get jobs! Lets train our teachers and police to target them to see if abuse can force them to act differently! Also, market nothing they like!


INTJ every time. I'm not really the evil mastermind type. I think the INTJ descriptor fits me in terms of how I love to make mental models of the world, I love to (try to) understand things as deeply as possible, and to climb to greater heights of understanding. I don't think I'm that highly intelligent, but I certainly love thinking and being in my mind. This is a pretty terrible thing, though, for someone without much money who can't survive in society, because everyone and every thing around me is constantly working to crush my free time and ability to think and consider the world in equanimity and peace.


Pisces here (I see myself as 'high functioning' most of the time). I love dreams and fantasy, and I have huge problems with addiction to movies. I do think I am defined by 'empathy'. Most of the Cancer people I've met have been lovely. Their softness is the nicest aspect to them, but usually really bright and thoughtful, so they're not all mush. For some reason (despite what most pages\videos on compatibility say) the girls I like most are Geminis.


doomer Capricorn?


Mbti only have sense if you research about the functions of each type, focusing just in the four letters is stupid


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INTP-T, Cancer.
Sometimes i just think that i'd better didn't born in this world. Too hard for me.

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Who is your favorite NEET Youtuber?
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From Japanese Wikipedia.

引きこもり(引き籠もり[1]、ひきこもり、英語表記 hikikomori[2])とは、仕事や学校に行けず家に籠り、家族以外とほとんど交流がない人の状況を指す。現時点では、日本の厚生労働省はこうした状態が6か月以上続いた場合を定義としている

Acute Social Withdrawal (Withdrawal [1], Withdrawal English notation hikikomori [2]) refers to situations where people cannot go to work or school, stay at home, and have little interaction with their family. At present, the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare defines these conditions as having lasted for more than six months.



Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


I never made a myspace, facebook or anything else. I've literally been cocooned in my room and never came out. My only outlet to the outside world is these anonymous forums.


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>I never made a myspace, facebook or anything else. I've literally been cocooned in my room and never came out. My only outlet to the outside world is these anonymous forums.

It was like this for me too back between 2016-early 2017 i had no online social interaction outside of places like this but later in 2017 i started participating in actual NEET communities but stopped and left after doing it for about a year and a half. They are toxic abusive manipulative narcissistic and many of them are not real NEETs or hikikomori at all. Nobody outside Japan is a real hikikomori and the few cases that do exist overseas are just that isolated cases. While i still comeback to these anonymous forums sometimes for the most part i am very avoidant nowadays and have a hard time connecting with or relating to NEETs from my own culture because of how rude mean and manipulative they are. As a foreigner who has spent time in Japanese Neet servers and on websites i have noticed a big difference between Neets in Japan and the west Japanese Neets are very introverted like to keep to themselves and usually do not talk much and for the most part are friendly and respectful where as English speaking Neets are very social and outgoing and a lot ruder mean and like to trash talk i think this is probably because of the cultural differences between the east and the west to be honest. I have never ever liked the aggressive brutally honest attitude people in my own culture have it is part of the reason i withdrew in my room i am very introverted but also very emotionally sensitive and i have social anxiety disorder depression and autism and as a child i grew up in a strict family environment so i can relate a lot more to Japanese NEETs in that regard and i have a lot of respect for them because of how respectful they are unlike western NEETs empathy and sympathy are truly lacking in our modern society today because of modern technology and if assholes like >>5830 were actually a real NEET or hikikomori you would think they would be a bit more sympathetic and understanding because we are supposedly going through the same problems but no assholes like this larp as NEET?Hikikomori because they are edgy teens who want attention and they bully othPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


I don't worship jewtube celebrities. No one that vain would be worth my time.


>I don't worship jewtube celebrities. No one that vain would be worth my time.


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is compassion contrasted by strength?
I'm too soft and that makes me feel weak


I wouldn't say contrasted. Strong people can afford to be compassionate and forgiving, while weak people need to viciously scrabble around in the dirt for whatever leverage they can find.


Compassion, empathy, is relative to how much you sympathize with someone (or some thing). If you cannot relate to them then you can't have compassion. It's relative to what part of a group you are in. It's meant to keep people or things working together so it adds strength to the group and is not in it's opposite direction at all. An individual is weaker than a large group of sissies. It's why the neanderthals died. They used to eat each other and didn't communicate as well. But were stronger. It didn't save them. They couldn't get along.

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