/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

Met up with her at the park today. She was with some other friends so I wandered off on my own for a while and looked at the animals. Eventually decided to walk home but then happened to see her sitting on the grass at a public bird calling event. Went and sat down beside her and she smiled. Made me feel a little better to just be with her and watch people having fun. Laughed a little. There were some costumes. They made us clap. Afterwards her friends came back then we went to a booth and she asked about the booth and then I told her I was going home. Walked by myself feeling sad and lonely, got some groceries and made two eggs in toast for lunch. I also got cookies.

I want to share our unfiltered thoughts and feelings. Someone I can open my heart to who will stay by my side through ups and downs on the rollercoaster that is life. So no matter what we're going through we at least have each other.
Tell me what's going on in your world and I will do the same. I am seeking a better life and am happy to support you on whatever kind of journey you are on as well.
My discord is

how does one achieve this?

What's even the point anymore? I've basically given up. I've lost so many opportunities; some of them my fault, a lot of them pure circumstance. But how much more do I have left to give?

People are unfriendly. All of those that share my interests are either autistics or just plain rude. I got called "terminally online" for asking for some normfag's discord handle (a site that I hate).

There's nothing to do around the city. Everything costs money. The streets are grimy and filled with the homeless. Housing costs keep going up. Nobody cares. The footpaths are choked with hideous invasive flowering weeds. The concrete is cracked and dirty. The infrastructure is accessible only to cars.

Why bother? There's not much point in leaving the house. But it's not much better inside than out. I try using mainstream socials, but everybody there is either unable to take criticism unless it goes with the flow of the community's zeitgeist, or is an American retard. And decent sites move too slowly to keep me occupied.

Why try? I'm enrolled for a once-a-week college course, starting this following week. But I don't see why I should care. I'll either do something stupid and get myself kicked out, or somebody else will.

I remember getting really sad a few years ago about the realisation that everything is ephemeral. Everything will eventually decay into entropy. I try to think about it every so often, but it's hardly motivating. What difference does it make if I try or not? Nobody will ever remember me either way.

It rained for a few days a little while ago.

I miss the petrichor.

does anyone have any advice on not talking? like, on how to just not speak? i know everyone dislikes when i talk, and joker persona 5 is pretty cool, so is there a simple way i can just not talk without people thinking there's something wrong? also, i'm looking for advice on how to avoid audibly reacting to things. i'm such a fucking autist that i basically have to comment on something interesting that i see, even if i'm just talking to myself.

thoughts?

(yes i know phone filename but im too lazy to get out of bed and go to my computer)

Employment is a given thing so being a needy or not is not one s choice, but the amaterasu's capacity to use a ruler to measure its own finger.now translate that into jewish

Do things just get better? I feel like my entire life has been some kind of transitionary period. I've always just been waiting for the next thing to happen, the next house, the next open room, the next apartment, the next space. I genuinely feel like I have no concept of setting down and feeling secure. I also just feel like I'm at the complete whims of my family, they tell me what I have to do, they expect me to do this, go to college, get a good job, they expect me to get married and have kids for them. I haven't even felt happy first. I just want to live for myself, if I can't be on my own, I don't want to even live at all.

I've felt so dejected from drawing at all. I've just kinda ran away from my friends online, I can't seem to do anything.

Please tell me that some of you guys feel the same way, because I have no idea what to do.

I was thinking of getting a new start in life and actually being happy so im thinking of moving to russia i have some money saved up should i do it?

what do you do when you are depressed?

OP cries under the bed

This chan is unfortunately dead and lonely. Is there another altchan somewhere (preferably for hikkis/NEETs or at least has a decent culture for them) that is active?