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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1542209257253.jpg (43.56 KB, 400x400, hVeVA7Z.jpg)

 No.5262[Reply]

In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
If you can and want please share this post to communities which you think might me knowledgeable.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.5264

Moved from /ot/



File: 1541279807832.jpg (169.91 KB, 900x900, unnamed.jpg)

 No.5245[Reply]

being alone for so long has stunted my ability to talk so much that i can barely construct full sentences in my head, let alone hold a conversation with anyone
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5249

>>5245
I recently heard of someone solving this problem for themselves by installing VRChat and talking to people on there.

 No.5250

File: 1541294111762.webm (3.83 MB, 1032x718, _Finnish Philosopher.webm)


 No.5257

When being alone I have always held conversations with myself, explaining stuff and pretending I wouldn't get it. It's a great way to learn complex topics, except socializing.

 No.5259

>>5257
I do this but instead I explain stuff I like to someone else who isn't there. Stuff like mechanics, and everyday life know-hows that I lived by.

 No.5260

>>5257
i do this too, but i don't really end up learning anything afterwards…



File: 1480325981694.jpg (45.41 KB, 736x413, war.jpg)

 No.2290[Reply]

What would happen if any of us honestly joined any branch of the military? Assuming we would simply pass any sanity tests (just pretend you cheat past it) and basic physical tests, what would happen?

I'm curious.
39 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4882

I went to Join the French foreign Legion once. It was quite enlightening as one realizes how much they actually value their own time and hobbies.

 No.4895

>>2290
I enlisted in the Marines a few years back. My personality did one helluva shift. I've become some sort of cross between an introvert and extrovert. But being in the A-type personality environment can be really stressful. It took me about a year to adjust I suppose.

 No.4913

>military
haha, they recruited me and I flunked at the recruitment test
>sorry anon, we have nothing to offer to you
I am literally too much of a piece of biological waste to even become cannon fodder

 No.4914

>>4913
>canon fodder
Soldiers aren't just canon fodder. They're trained, can be very effective individually, and have potential for upward mobility.

 No.5256

>>4882

the legion interests me also but the process of signing up seems tough - are you really fit and did you have a solid reason to join?



File: 1537567052662.jpg (111.99 KB, 1080x1350, 16434.jpg)

 No.5103[Reply]

Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no fuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
22 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5203

>>5202
Who specifically do you think could have done those things to them?

 No.5204

>>5103
family and friends can be abusive in many different ways, one way is gaslighting, which is trying to convince someone that they're crazy or have problems, which can mess with someone's self esteem and confidence and sense of self

learned helplessness is when you're convinced that you're stuck in your situation and there's nothing you can do about it, which can happen as a result of bullying, abuse, maladaptive learning, etc.

people don't exist in complete isolation, they are a product of their environment and relationships/interactions with people

 No.5210

>>5202
Forgive me I didn't understand you before, you might as well be right.

 No.5254

File: 1541682885501.jpg (64.77 KB, 398x495, IMG_0759.JPG)

I was already born damaged. Mood disorder, depression, severe anxiety, and not really bright. It took me years after going through multiple traumas to fix myself. I learned to mimic others behaviors in social settings so I wouldn't look like a freak having flashbacks and panic attacks in public.
When I hit junior year in high school, I had a crush on a teacher. He knew, and took advantage of it by slowly grooming me daily. Treats, private lessons, random spurts of affection and heavy petting.
When I graduated, he got fired. I had no real plans besides maybe getting into the art field. He promised me a future, that he'd propose and we'd grow old together. I fell for it. I relied on him heavily for a year. Having purpose felt good, having support felt good. They were things I haven't had or felt in a very, very, very long time if even at all.
Then he got worse. He did a lot of fucked up things, blamed it on me and left. He came back after a week or so for some ego stroking, got a new job and ghostsd me for good.
In a way, I guess I'm kind of blaming him for everything but it's really my fault. I shouldn't have fallen for fake love and I should have known better than to trust others after my first trauma. I don't have any purpose anymore and I've been sitting around idly doing nothing.
Even if I wanted to I can't do anything.

 No.5255

It's bad enough when your own life starts to fall apart, but then somehow there's always some sort of genius to take advantage of it. I guess humans are nothing but predators after all. So much for good doctor Peterson's views.



File: 1539995547142.png (303 B, 200x200, square.png)

 No.5187[Reply]

man i just don't like people.

i am not attracted to anyone.

at all.

no one.

not because of their bodies.

but because of people's personalities.

people are incredibly manipulative all the time

man that's just it.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5211

>>5196
imagine being so much of a bitter, mopey loser that attacking people on the internet for no reason is a good use of your time

 No.5212

>>5211
Don't you notice the irony on commenting something like that in this kind of thread?

 No.5214

>>5211
>attacking
lol
>no reason
You couldn't even be bothered to put an actual image. Fuck off newfag.

 No.5216


 No.5251

I can't stop thinking people want to harm or kill me, help



File: 1540001351970.jpg (118.33 KB, 679x923, nhk.jpg)

 No.5194[Reply]

This thread is for posting when you did something that was uncomfortable for you, but still important to do. It's also for encouraging other people who are getting out of their comfort zone too.

If you're NEET/hikki, I think part of the issue is having a small comfort zone and sticking to what's in that. So let's try to change that.

Tonight, I went to the city today to network with some people. We made plans in advance online and met up in person. Met some new people and talked about work, LinkedIn, mentoring, and stuff like that. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Even though I was super nervous, I still went, and I tried to talk with the other people. I wasn't good at it, but you gotta start somewhere. I will be seeing them again next week.

What about you? What have you done lately, or what are you planning on doing that is outside your comfort zone?
2 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5201

>>5200
Rehearsal for what?

 No.5205

>>5199
Better than not waking up, right? Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed, but I do anyway.
>>5200
Even if someone is making fun of you, then their opinion isn't worth paying attention to. You don't need to let negative people influence your life. It says more about their immaturity than you. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you.

But as a general rule of thumb, if someone is mean to you, don't think that you're in the wrong. If they're being mean, that's on them.

Hope your rehearsal go well.

 No.5206

>>5201
We are practicing and composing songs. I like to make music and people are even encouraging me. Social anxiety and agoraphobia are however ruining the fun.

>>5205
Thank you.

 No.5233

File: 1540288821189.jpg (181.43 KB, 700x700, a1319335107_5.jpg)

Today, I realised I don't have much savings left, so I began searching for a job. It will be hard, since I am in the middle of my twenties, but I still need a source of income, even if I attend the job I hate. And I dislike working among people, too, so there will be a lot of pressure on me. Don't want to.

Also, while I'm at it, I put my gaming consoles away, studying music theory and the process of making ambient music instead.

There is a circle of pain around my head: it's stress.

I don't know how I would talk during a job interview.

As soon as I amass some money, say, to support myself for three-four years, I'll return to my life of NEET - to anime, games and sleeping.

But maybe I need to force myself. Maybe I need to overextend and make a career, and in fifteen years I would amass a fortune so large I could live the rest of my days on it, and also make profit from investments. Although I will be old at that point.

Don't know what to do, but I don't have neetbux or a supportive family, so I must make my own living.

When I was working at a certain bank a year ago, the stress levels were so high I cried in my pillow every week. That said, before attending said work, I was cured from clinical depression. Even though I was cured, it is still hard for me to communicate and make choices.
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 No.5238

I had a practice interview at my college (they help people with job search, resumes, etc) and they basically said I have poor communication skills. Welp. Not feeling too confident about my real interview later this week.



File: 1538657486258.jpg (306.95 KB, 2000x1333, 1505069042913.jpg)

 No.5143[Reply]

How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5197

File: 1540037689525.jpg (59.1 KB, 500x500, 4f0a6f71dcba9ed2cb524148f8….jpg)

>>5170
Keep it up! Of course you should do things at your own pace, but it's important to not stop doing them. Even if social interaction is exhausting to you, as it is to me, there will always be a desire to have exactly that. Once you lost your friends or grew to distant to colleagues, it becomes incredibly hard to satisfy this need and exchange becomes even more taxing. Solitude breeds illness.

I let myself go in the recent years. My body got older, but my mind even took a step back. Life goes on and it's up to us if we go along or stay were we are only to realize later how far we have fallen back.

Sometimes I remember stupid stuff I did out of over-excitement or clumsiness and the regret makes me want to throw up. It's no use to dwell on the past, if one just fuels anxieties with it. Sure, nostalgia can be nice once in a while. One should however not forget, that it is essentially a form of grief. Resorting to sorrow for means of pleasure will screw one up.

Ah, sorry, I'm just ranting. Have this picture of a comfy bedroom for compensation!

 No.5221

The best way to prevent yourself from becoming a hikikomori I believe is to force yourself into a routine that involves leaving your house daily.

It doesn't matter where. Go to the library, walk around the block, just do anything.

I so badly wish I could go back in time and make myself do that.

 No.5229

>>5221
I go outside and talk to people every single day and I still have terrible social anxiety. Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.

 No.5230

>>5229
>Going out doesn't guarantee that you'll just turn out fine.
No, it doesn't. But it guarantees you'll just not turn out worse. And that isn't a small detail at all.

 No.5231

File: 1540251112859.jpg (144.5 KB, 500x334, good-cozy-bedroom-tumblr-3.jpg)

>>5179
Yeah, very relatable anon. I don't even have any hobbies which is depressing af. It means that you have no way to relax or calm yourself down after a stressful day. Trying to take up a hobby is sometimes even more stressful than doing nothing because I beat myself up over being bad at things. I'd be so embarrassed to go to a class or meet up. I wish I had the passion of others in literally anything so I could have a job that I love doing or something that helps me unwind at the end of the day at very least.

>>5221
That's a really good point. Luckily I have a dog so I feel really guilty if I don't bring him out every second day. He always reminds me and it's impossible to refuse him.



File: 1538328380897.jpg (101.66 KB, 1280x720, cat.jpg)

 No.5135[Reply]

I'm a college student and I'm looking for work. I've lived a lot of my life as a shut-in, so I feel developmentally stunted in some ways. I guess people are impressed enough with my technical skills and software portfolio because I manage to get a decent number of interviews, but I haven't gotten hired for something related to the field I want to be in. I've gotten hired for shitty dead-end jobs in the past, but they have lower standards.

Basically, I think my social anxiety and awkwardness are holding me back. Even though my STEM education is good, people are put off by how awkward I am, so then they choose other applicants who are more confident, charismatic, and generally socially adept. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever hire me for a good job and I'll be doomed to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.

Any tips for getting better at socialization and job interviews?
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5147

>>5146 havent read the rest of the thread so being cautious here: but are you including the experience you had at these "dead end jobs?" whatever it is, however minor, if theres something you can take away from them. even if its just "friendly with customers" however basic it might come off as to you, it could help?

 No.5149

>>5147
actually never mind, the thread was shorter than i initially thought. sorry about that. Honestly the best advice i have for you is listen to what people tell you, and to keep truckin'

 No.5151

>>5146
>Like what, work at a grocery store?

You don't have to go to the other end of the extremes, there should be much more than that. I don't know where you live, and how is society and opportunities there, but, for example, you could be the IT guy/sysadmin of a small company or something.

>coworkers suck no matter where you go


Not necessarily. And again, within a hardcore software development company with braindead management, killer deadlines and never-ending workdays, the pressure is far more than it should be, which leads to even the nicer people behaving like shit most of the time. Let alone the ones who already have shit personalities to begin with…

>Also I gave out about 15 resumes at a job fair recently.


Nice work! So you're going somewhere already.

 No.5152

For me it's always the other way around. I can easily fake it during an interview, but after getting the job and working for a couple of weeks it becomes harder and harder to keep up the facade, to hide how much social situations stress me out. People get mad, if you hide your personality and won't let them get a grip on you.

Working in IT means teamwork all the time, especially in the beginning, when you have to frequent other people for help. Therefore it is wiser to choose the nice average guy who fits in rather than the edgy smart guy who lowers work ethics for all colleagues. Seems reasonable to me.

 No.5169

OP here. I landed some interviews and I'm doing more networking. Also, fun fact: if you have disabilities such as physical or mental health problems, there are government programs that can help you get a job. So far, all the interviews I have scheduled are for regular jobs, not for people who are disabled.

But let's say you're a typical hikki or NEET or whatever. If you talk to the right social services offices, they can help you find a work despite the fact that you have problems.

It's not either regular work or being a NEET. There are places out there that hire people who have problems. I am trying the traditional route first, but if that doesn't work, I know of a program that will help people like me get hired despite having mental issues.

There are also TECHNICALLY anti-discrimination laws that prevent people from barring you from employment based on disabilities, but it's bullshit and I doubt employers actually follow it. But the thing about some government programs is that they work with employers that are actively looking for disabled people to hire.



File: 1539101129197.jpg (184.04 KB, 480x640, traumateam_devfeaturette3_….jpg)

 No.5159[Reply]

Assuming there's not a general for this, I'd like some advice. A bit off topic maybe?

Basically I've had a rough 4 hours when I went into the ER yesterday for back pains, and learned I had a 1.3 millimeter kidney stone they'll have to break up "somehow", either through some weird outpatient procedure with sound waves, or by just going in and spending 2 hours breaking it out manually. The former is what we're trying first though and SHOULD get it.

What I'm worried about is them having to do the latter, as well as them having to place a stint in regardless. I'm terrified of being put under. Done it quite a few times in the past and it's just not gotten easier, so everytime they do it I start getting antsy. Additionally I am pretty protective over manhood. That sounds retarded, but it's a source of fear for me. With luck, they'll just have to put me under and fiddle with me twice to get the stint in and out, and it's all pretty easy and routine, so then why am I freaking out so much? Does anyone have any experience with these issues, or could give me some advice about how to calm down?

Please help me not be so pussy so these next few weeks can blow over smoothly.

 No.5160

Distract yourself as much as possible until the procedure. Just get your mind off it however you have to If by any chance something goes wrong, there's always the legal suit option. Besides they'll probably figure out how to replace penises within the next couple decades, so any loss might not be permanent.



File: 1538057548271.jpg (5.92 KB, 183x275, images.jpg)

 No.5128[Reply]

So awhile back I found Infinite Outlaw's video being linked in an interesting links thread on 8chan /hikki/. Since then I've noticed he makes a lot of videos related to the topic and recently has been linking to threads of this board and sometimes using our posts in videos. His most recent video is just a compilation of posts in a thread on here over some music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy4CdqcHwQw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeCSEeBlLhw

 No.5129

Ah fuck, my retarded posts from yesteryear have been immortalised.

 No.5130

Youtube sera mi arma, y la razón mi barco

 No.5131

I like it

 No.5132

File: 1538068603812.jpg (109.83 KB, 600x600, 1358094195291.jpg)

>>5128
>check his rym's favorite artist section
>all that fucking memerap
>denzel curry
>a fucking digibro rap collab
at least he like Pat the Bunny, Coheed, Goreshit, and Ween but holy shit taste. why is it that people from chan sites or /mu/ always vomit memerap on their favorite artists alongside actual good artists? it's embarrassing and the ones who do that always come across like they are trying to prove something.

 No.5133

File: 1538076341563.png (434.39 KB, 680x962, __lavinia_whateley_fate_gr….png)

>8chan



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