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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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I forgot to turn off the snow because I have only been checking the site from my phone and it doesn't show on mobile. Haha silly me.
And now, more snow!

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I've been thinking about this for quite a long time. I'm a hikki and NEET, don't have an education and am disabled. What are some ways I could I get by when/if things go sour, or if I want to leave this lifestyle? I am probably too far gone already, but hopefully one of these can work for you. This topic gets discussed a lot in NEET/hikki communities, but I'm mentioning a lot stuff I don't see listed elsewhere. Don't believe anyone who tells you "bro you have to go out and work a job, sorry, that's life." Fuck that noise! Some of these are fully sustainable, some are risky, just for short-term cash, or a small amount of passive income. Some of these are kind of out there and and may not work well in practice.

(You'll want to read the first reply to this thread for a continuation, the body was way too long.)

>Pornographic artist/developer

Porn artists and porn game developers can make serious money through both commissions and Patreon. The more depraved/niche you're willing to do (gay, furry, scat etc.), the better the pay is. Porn games can also make a lot more money than just doing porn art.

>Boosting people, competitive vidya

I've done this when I was a GM Overwatch player, but I don't play that game anymore. With enough skill and time put in, you could sustain yourself completely with this. Hard part is getting a reputation at the beginning, you need to be patient. Should be smooth sailing from there, as long as major changes to the game don't fuck you up.

>Game cheat developer

Subscription private cheats. You can read and learn a lot about cheat development on forums like UnknownCheats. It's really not that hard; if you know C or C++, you're ready to get started. Cheat development is fun, too. Alternatively, use your undetected private cheat for boosting people more reliably.

>The Amazon affiliate program

This is a little complicated to explain here. It involves creating websites and SEO. You'll want to read this, it actually has some good information, explained better than I ever could: https://old.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/5mzpz6/in_2016_i_made_31615415_via_the_amazon_affiliate/
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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What a stupid reply


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What a stupid reply


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Here are PDF and txtfiles of the 4th book. It's also on Amazon. I don't plan on writing anymore. Sometimes I give them away like this on other -chans too



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Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. THe problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)
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It's not prohibited to dump art here "for no reason", but if you want to start a thread exclusively dedicated to art, feel free to make one on >>>/o/


I feel like it may do well on the creepycute board, but I'm unsure about the rules there pertaining to posting your own work. I don't want to get banned for shameless self-advertising or anything like that, lol.


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Surely you're not here to be told the obvious, but genuinely: go into this with an open mind. None of us here know your family or your relationship with them, and I won't assume it's good just because they've offered to support you for now - God knows I've known people with a shitty family life that still feeds them and puts a roof over their heads - but it never hurts to try it. If you can have a talk with them, or try to involve them in your long-term treatment and coping with your disorders, you might get a little time to stabilise your life.

Try and get your meds as soon as you can, and determine what's most pressing to work on: your unstable lifestyle, your abusive relationship issues, or those dependency issues. I'd hope more schizophrenics will post soon, as again, I can only really relate to your dependency problems, and mental disorders more generally. But if you ever need to reach out in a low-risk way, this board is a good place to do it sometimes. Just be careful with what personal accounts you advertise on any imageboard.

I personally wouldn't worry about getting b& for posting original content with your posts, >>>/cc/ included. You can always try to summon Sei and see what they think.


There's no rule against posting your own content. I suggested >>>/o/ because that's where "art" generally goes (even the creepy or "unnerving" pictures), but feel free to use >>>/cc/ instead if you think it's more fitting. Both boards deserve more love and activity.

Also, sorry if I didn't comment anything in particular regarding your situation, but I agree with the other anons, and I don't have much to contribute myself, sadly. I sincerely hope things get better for you soon.


Hey, I am curious since you said you had to endure "abuse" from your dad since you were a child, yet you are planning to go back home where, I suppose, he would be waiting for you too? May I ask what's the relationship with your father right now like? Do you feel like you can trust him? I am just asking because it may be something to consider.

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To be hikkikomori is one of the highest forms of hedonism and selfishness. Especially if you rely on parents or flatmates for financial aid.

Some might contest that being a shut-in need isn't a conscious choice, that it's a result of environmental circumstances and mental illness, yet I still see people here who romanticise the lifestyle.

For a good few years, I have followed the culture of this board and others like it. I have seen the various IRC channels, discords and skype groups that have originated from this place, and I have come to the conclusion that this board ultimately promotes an anti-social attitude instead of discouraging and helping people abstain from it.

Most of you are lazy and are attempting to rationalise a piggish lifestyle.

Whaddaya think?
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I don't remember asking


Romanticising hikkidom is a cope for most of us. It’s hard to admit your life is at a dead end and easier to just ignore the pain, put your head in the sand and claim that the wagies have it worse and NEETdom is so much better. Denial is the easiest option to deal with hurt, the first stage of grief.

As for encouraging asociality…yeah. Gathering a bunch of people who avoid social interaction at all costs based purely on said avoidance tends to bring that about, who would have thunk it??

Also >>4160
OP is probably gone but whatever


online psychologists are the worst




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You are the most classic example of someone who was able to get over one particular struggle and now shames anybody in a similar position as his in the past. You simply feel a certain sense of power over the people here you consider to be "inferior" (since they have not done the same as you), and you enjoy lecturing them as a demonstration of your superiority. It is a consequence of your own insecurities, maybe because you hate the part of you who stood in his own room for 7 months, maybe because you fear you may go back there, probably because there's some other area in your life where you feel inadequate, and thus you need your act of "superiority" to compensate.
The "need for help" which translates into belittlement, insults or aggression isn't such, but the manifestation of a problem in the person in and of itself.

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I genuinely don't know how to connect with people anymore. They always say making online friends is an easy option, but I can't even bring myself to digitally chat to anyone about my interests. Even posting this is taking up a lot of nerve for me. Nearly graduating college, and I haven't made a singular friend in university. My classmates are either arrogant, rich kids or pretentious know-it-alls. I don't know what I wanna do once I graduate. Probably get a job and earn some money. It's kinda pathetic to say that I wanna earn enough so I could afford seeing a therapist. Therapy is so expensive here, I haven't even had an actual medical check-up in years. And not to be that guy who self-diagnoses mental illness, but I think there is something up with me that can't be just chalked up to "introversion". I want really do wanna make friends, but at the same time, I feel detached and disconnected from everyone. I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.

I made one online friend, and that was because I was so fucking desperate and possibly manic that I messaged them first. Haven't been close with them recently. Now, I still wanna talk to them, but I don't want to bring them down with my bullshit depressing nonsense. My cousins keep inviting me to go out and I'm grateful for them. But, I can't help feeling like a charity case. I know full well there's some pity there, and that my parents asked them to hang out with me. Likely because they were that worried I was a piece of shit loner. I don't wanna come off as being completely sad, I feel kinda okay actually, it's just it feels like I'm just floating by directionless, making no impact on anything or anyone.
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OP here. Sorry, I'm new to forums so I dunno the etiquette and how to format yet.

I did join organizations in my university. Unfortunately, we're still mostly on online classes so I haven't had the opportunity to meet new people yet. The orgs have their own discord servers, but again, I'm mostly a lurker and I don't know how to approach people digitally either.

>It's hard to be friends with someone if you always look down on them or find a reason not to like them. People are more than their outward appearance.

Admittedly, I wrote the original post when I was in a bitter mood. I know that there's more to people than outward impressions, and that I gotta lighten up. Still, I've been with some of my classmates for years now, and I was not clicking with their personalities. Some of them are just generally unlikeable and complain a lot— and I worry that those traits rubbed on me 'cause I'm not any better.


Honestly don't worry about the formatting too much. I used to get on anons for it until I saw many 4chan archives from 2003-5 that were filled with anons reddit spacing, using tumblr grammar before tumblr existed, and using lolspeak. In other words, anons have formatted and talked in a myriad of ways for many years and the collective beatings we give each other are more to just collectively beat each other than to actually maintain any culture. It's somewhat taboo for me to be explaining all this upfront, anons are generally supposed to learn through the aforementioned beatings, but I like this place and find it more constructive to explain on smaller boards.
That said, posts are generally considered more readable when formatted without a space inbetween paragraphs, opting instead to just hit enter and type new paragraphs on the immediate next line. Grammar doesn't matter much, but at least using capital letters at the start of a sentence and using periods is generally appreciated too.

/\ The paragraphs above follows readability formatting convention. I've noticed that sometimes spaces between large paragraphs when there are a lot of paragraphs are tolerated depending on the board too. Some boards will call this "reddit spacing." Notice how my first two paragraphs don't have a space between them but this one does. Below I will provide an example of what I personally consider to be true reddit spacing, this is actually kind of obnoxious in my view, but board culture too has embraced it in various points of its own history. In terms of vernacular, you will pick up what words mean and what normal words to replace with board culture synonyms overtime.

im writin dis 2 demonstrate teh most obnoxious form ov formattin

in da 2000s dis wuz wai MOAR common

ins't dis kind ov annoyin?

imagine readin it on CRT ( ◕▿◕ )

(Secretly though, I love old emoticons, and am totally fine with them, this board seems to be too sometimes.)


I didn't know that spacing paragraphs was called reddit formatting. I always did that when the adjacent paragraphs weren't related, because it's just easier to read.

Fuck sticking to conventions decided by other people, though. Unless it's extremely obnoxious (as you point out), or just plain unreadable because of poor use of punctuation, anything is fine, really.

I would suggest just sticking to a general chat rather than trying to befriend people individually. Those that like you will eventually interact with you more, and if you also feel someone is interesting, you should definitely interact with them if that's what you want. There's also no pressure to "keep a conversation appealing" or worrying about what to say, etc. Because you're not the person who drives the conversation in the first place. Just think of it as throwing some words at the wind.
I used to have the lurker syndrome like you, but my (rare) contributions were usually appreciated by a few people, who eventually became close friends. I have to admit that they were more ongoing / not as timid as I was, which helped as they typically initiated the interactions, but I don't see why you shouldn't find similar people.

Now, this is all anecdotal (and therefore not a magic solution that works for everyone), but please do consider just trying even if you don't feel comfortable / you're nervous to say what you think. Especially on the internet, most people just spout random shit, so in the worst case, people will not really think too deeply about what you say, and in the best case, you might find similar-minded buddies.


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Can I offer some advice as an extroverted autistic?

How i've always made friends is by finding common ground. Where i'm from, it's not unusual to talk to strangers especially if something happened, such as a late bus, or a shit class. It's often just small talk and a shared laugh but if you play your cards right and have enough time, you might just be able to introduce yourself to whoever you're talking with.
Met one of my closest friends because i was reading jojo's bizarre adventure in class and they asked about it (i admit i went on a bit of an autistic rant about it, but it paid off)

finding common ground is key to having a really good topic of conversation, so if you want to make some close friends, seek out places oriented around your interests. You don't have to be totally active in them, just shoot a 'hello chat; gif or something once in a while and you'll eventually strike up a convo

>I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.

Unfortunately that is the nature of friendships. eventually, they will fade. However, i also think that's what makes friendships so good: limited time. Opening yourself up and making memories before everything fades is what makes them so precious.

You are almost definitely going to have to open up and start actively seeking them out, like when you were in your possibly manic state, but trust me, the self pity is worth the connection times a thousand.

I imagine seeking out a much more outgoing person as a friend could work: as one of those people we often take the more introverted ones under our wing. I was always the loud and slightly obnoxious one out of my friend group of depressed autistics

I hope things get easier for you anon!


This is really informative, thanks! I generally just try breaking up my thoughts into multiple paragraphs to avoid big blocks of text. Still adjusting to board culture, especially with all the slang and vernacular. Might commit a faux pas, but I'll probably learn as I go.

>I would suggest just sticking to a general chat rather than trying to befriend people individually.
Yeahhh, this definitely seems like the way to go for me. If New Year's resolutions carry any meaning, I'm setting out to stop lurking, go out there and just say stuff that interests me in the hopes I attract similar-minded people. Initiating conversations are hard for me, and I guess there is the major fear of being ignored. Probably need to just suck it up and get used to it.

Thanks for the advice! I can't really tolerate going outside meeting people yet, so maybe I'll just make baby steps with interacting in group chats. I wish I can make another extroverted friend to at least balance my personality out. All my close friends are either far away or too busy, so it's just me with my introverted self recently.

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I guess I've been a "Hikikomori" since about about December, after having a constant struggle with my anxiety and depression which led to me dropping out of school, I'm currently looking for a job but for the past months have pretty much been a NEET. What I'm wondering are your days usually like? Do you have a schedule? If you have mental issues what helps you cope? Just curious
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I think a big part of my depression is never using my brain


I think I relate to this. I'm not an awkward person and I like to think I'm pretty normal, but what gets me are the days where I'm unproductive, like today. I was gonna study for this big test I have coming up, but I also enjoy working on my car a lot. It's very therapeutic to sit outside, put on some tunes and just proceed to fuck around with my project car. Today, however, I did neither of those things and I feel like shit because of it. I woke up at 8am today with motivation to really get shit done, but it's now just past 8pm and I'm thinking of all the hours wasted watching youtube videos and bullshitting when I could've studied for just an hour and it would've meant something and then maybe I'd feel okay to go work on my car. Fuck man just thinking about this kinda sucks, but tomorrow, even with much less free time during the day, I'm gonna tackle both those things and more. I can feel it


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I've been a hikkineet since 2018(dropped out) and it's the same, painfully boring cycle everyday. Most of my days are spent rotting inside my room, browsing the internet, forcing myself to do hobbies I once enjoyed and now cannot stand, overspend neetbux, overeat or undereat and sleeping or not sleeping at all .
Many times I did try to get my life in order, attend online job-search course, land a job and then snap under pressure a day later. Fired. I cannot remember the month at all.


mostly just browsing the web, listening to music and drinking a lot. it's different when mental issues play up but overall the same. nothing to do…


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wake up, phone for maybe half an hour, get up and set the stove, talk to roommate, make breakfast. do chores and clean house until spotless. return to room and use pc: check emails and do other important tasks first; then enter web browsing/lazy mode. usually i watch a few episodes of anime or read some manga or get off the pc and read an actual book. if i've got inspiration I'll usually tackle a bigger project around this time and go at it for a few hours (something creative etc..) but im usually out of steam to try too hard at anything in the afternoon. twice a week i'll have psychotherapy in the early evening. then it's dinner, maybe a little more fooling around on the computer, and set stove again, now it's bedtime. usually if i'm gonna take a bath i do it right before bed when the house is very quiet, it helps me sleep best.
really I can't believe how well I've managed to maintain this lifestyle recently considering that I have absolutely no income. it's all emergency funding that i'm getting from welfare programs + money I owe my landlord. but i'm so beyond caring I guess. when it's time to go homeless again I'll just vanish. but god, having a bathtub and a bed and heat is a hell of a lot better then being outside..

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Who else here has a positive or at least neutral view/outlook on hikki/neetdom? It seems like most discussion in hikki/neet communities are pessimistic these days and was wondering how many here view their situation positively and possibly discuss the positive side here.

I just don't like people. Being able to stay in my comfy house and relax all day is a godsend. I wouldn't gain anything from waging or moving out. I have a lot more time to myself and I'm way happier than most people I would say.
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i will forever be your most utmost servant nantaimori



I have no real life or online friends and am incredibly grateful for my position. Putting up with other people induces unnecessary suffering (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma). Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I assume that it works both ways: The people who are more likely to have friends tend to be more hive minded because they can find people who they can relate to in the first place, and in turn, interacting with others who are laymen makes one gradually become more mainstream/conformist because of the diffusion of those commonplace memes.


>Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I believe it's related to the automaton like behavior of most people. People absorb input from their environment, filter it through their ego and then react and form beliefs based on that data. If a person discovers this pattern, the environment loses its control over the mind and the true self regains its power.
Having no friends means less input from the world, but thanks to the Internet, it doesn't really make much of a difference these days, as friendless individuals are constantly subjected to outside influences via the Internet.


I wish I could give all of you a hug, seriously
I've been trying to hug my dad at least once each day
Anyways if anyone needs someone to talk to
and we could be penpals
I've been looking at a lot of philosophy lately


being a hikkineet is like an introverted psychopath thing

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listening to time by pink floyd good night anons, i wish a very very nice night and sweet dreams
draw made it by me: PURRanon
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Self portrait. What do you think?


cute :3


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decided to do this to refresh my brain while i was drawing smth else. love drawing


Cute drawings.

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just figured out I suffer from this shit, and it really explains a lot of the shit I went through and the hellish state is trapped in now. so I was wondering if any of you anons are suffering from the same shit?

but before it's asked no schizoid personality disorder is not related to schizophrenia.
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I've read quite a lot of bores so yours can't be drudging as I'm interested in what you have to say and also because if I might have it. I have the "symptoms" to a T and don't think anything's necessarily wrong with me for having them but am still amicable towards the act of befriending and used to be a talkative person who cracked jokes (not that I was sunshine), though looking back at when I was homeschooled I would've been comfortable not saying anything to anyone and that I didn't want to be lonely hence why I forced myself to talk but that could just be me ignoring my gut to stop seeking others' approval. A lot of my morality may just come off as having it as well, and I don't know what came first and if it came subconsciously. I deduced I could be a sperg, negative schizo, depressed, a mere moody sycophant, etc. so I'd like to hear how you feel. The company I keep could've also made me one manually so maybe I was nurtured into it and therefore not really have it, or I surrounded myself with such people in the first place because our frequencies blended better. I'm playing up the disorder like it's supposed to fit into this box and personality that normal people who don't understand view it as which is obnoxious and insufferable but for the sake of covering all angles and its guidelines I muse. I know this post is garbage because I've recently been mindfucked. I want to know for myself if I have it because I am only a human and therefore can be quantified and understood better, not because I want a label.


"schizoid personality disorder" doesn't cause anything, it is a description of symptoms. Compared to real disorders, having the symptom itself is the disorder regardless of underlying causes.

>It's demonstrably made my life harder in the past to the point I can't in good conscience call it a bogus diagnosis

This is entirely wrong and the main reason why I don't like "schizoid personality disorder". It has not made your life harder. What has made your life harder was your inability to connect with people, your fear of intimacy, and your destructive personality. You do not have schizoid personality disorder any more than stacy has whoreish slut disorder. If there is a biological difference in people with spd, then there is a biological difference in everybody with a unique personality.


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I'm curious what you were going to say about nature v. nurture so I could have a focused base to my experiences and thoughts on the logic and nature of it. If it's something that can develop from circumstance can it also regress with time and effort, how much of it converges with the post-war isolation and mental sickness of our age, it only has a low diagnosis rate because few people care to get it confirmed by psychologists and are unbothered by it so how many "schizoids" exist, it's oddly widespread for a mental disorder or much of humanity simply has become more jaded and withdrawn. None of the symptoms stuck out to me as illogical to get induced to or something that can't be inherited nor comes off as anything more than a state of mind.

When I read about it for the first time it seemed like a maladaptive introverted personality that underwent childhood transgression/trauma, similar to how the earlier post asked how this is considered a disorder. So I wonder what the logic and feelings were when you just felt like not socializing anymore and getting depressed, and what the reply to that post said about similarities in it despite different upbringings and experiences. And if I do have it and relate to what you went through it'd explain things I didn't even realize about my behavior and choices towards socializing. Excuse me if my two previous posts were rushed and ingenuine, and put you off from carrying the conversation, I'm really trying and I am interested. I also got diagnosed with ADHD and OCD as a child if that helps.

Also to expound, I believe personality disorders can be caused by abnormal wiring in the brain and that you could be born with it but it will manifest later in life, like how some schizos only begin to develop symptoms in the 20s and 30s despite having a normal upbringing.


7546 isn't me either.


To sum up why I feel this specific set of personality traits was from nature rather from nurture in my case:
First, I'm an extremely close match to the ones described in the DSM and ICD, with no factors missing or mismatching in those two. It just seems a lot more likely to me that such a close fit would happen if the cause were physical rather than environmental. The idea being that the environment is more variable, malleable and unlikely to give consistent results.

The fact that this well-delineated grouping of 'symptoms' reoccurs enough for it to become a diagnosis is a strong indication to me that it's something physical. I have some background in biology, and when studying genetic disorders this kind of pattern shows over and over: some single translation protein gets fucked up somewhere, the signal it was supposed to send is lost and it all cascades through the signaling pathway to produce an array of seemingly unrelated symptoms that nonetheless have a single discrete (or close to it) physical cause. My thinking is that it just happens that in this case the symptoms all happen inside the brain and are a little fuzzier and more well-hidden than something like, say, epilepsy.

Second, I was an extremely normal boy in a normal upbringing before the (rather pronounced) onset of it around age 11-13. I had no trauma, I had nothing bad happen to me, no accidents, nothing. It just happened by itself with no apparent prompting. It has also not once wavered and my preferences haven't given any sign of shifting in the near 20 years since.

Again, this is just my perspective and I have no hard evidence. I'm also not denying that in other people's cases the environment may have a greater impact: human beings aren't isolated systems, and it's not predictable how some trauma or how you were raised will interact with a developing physical brain chemistry disorder: things are rarely as clear cut as my case apparently is when it comes to mental development and issues.
Even if I'm right and it is actually a physical 'disorder' in the way I'm thinking, I have to imagine it would also fully possible to arrive at the same or very similar 'symptoms' through a separate path even if you don't have it.

>when you just felt like not socializing anymore and getting depressed

I should address this,Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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How do you deal with an embarrassing past?
Also, share your embarrassing past. None will beat mine.

Humiliation is hard to overcome because I feel like I'm a trash human being, I'm constantly afraid that people will see my past in the afterlife and see all the humiliating things that happened to me and cringe. I can't be friends with them because I feel unworthy of their friendship.

I was a special ed student at 5 years old, spent all my youth with disabled people, they would lock me up in a padded room with no light when I misbehaved anyhow or didn't listen to the teacher.
I went to normal school after that and the teacher refused to let me use the bathroom, I peed my pants in front of the whole class and was bullied for 3 years over it.
I was bullied in 3 different schools because I had been sheltered and spoiled by my parents who thought they had a "special son".
I was beaten by bullies, isolated, humiliated, and had no friends for years.
I became bitter and angry and joined the chans, which fucked me up even more with gore videos and whatnot.
My parents left me to rot as a NEET for years to take care of my sisters and never paid attention to me.
I know my dad and mom hate me secretly and prefer my two sisters who are neurotypical.
I was an autistic retard, my whole youth. I can't overcome that and become someone I'm not. I will always be a retard.
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da hell did you do boy god damn


Is it easier to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend, or are other men just as selective in who they prefer?


holy shit I've been looking for a thread like this. I'm obsessing over the past. I worry that even if i become the president or something crazy like that, people will find out about my past and destroy all that I will have accomplished up to that point. This is why I have no ambition.


Don't really have it in me to write anything long-winded at the moment, but I struggle with daily things normal people find effortless and it sucks, especially at my age. I've only kind of learned to conceal it and play it cool, but this base incompetence follows me around no matter where I go it seems like.


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Embarrassment is a huge set off for me. Spent a lot of my childhood as a non masking autistic and I ended up getting in a lot of shit situations because people could point at me and say ‘yep that’s definitely an autistic.

must’ve been in like fourth grade when I realised I had forgotten one day that it was own clothes day (uniformed school lel) and everyone else had come in their clothes while I was in my uniform. Ended up having a huge meltdown in the street because of my embarrassment, got stared at loads.
Own clothes days have set me off ever since, I even broke down in twelfth grade when I realised I had done it again and I had to go home because I was crying so much.

I still don’t know how to deal with it, since embarrassment kind of comes pre packaged with being autistic in such a society. Getting jeered at, stared at, wondering why you’re so different.

Embarrassments just never been my favorite feeling in the world


Anyone here do it? I used to cut myself open, just for the sake of it really, but I regret it a lot because the scars never faded and I'm covered in ugly lines that anyone would be able to tell are from self harming.

You may also post QTs cutting themselves up.
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This is nuts, you're insane

Post more


why is it always femboy asians that do this (nice stockings)


I cut my arms up really bad in my mid-late teens/early twenties. It's definitely been hard to deal with but you learn to live with it and wonder sometimes why the fuck you did it. The mind adapts.

Also, I'm not sure why you get called a teenage girl when you admit to it when I can provide countless examples of fairly masculine men self-cutting. Seems like posturing to me, especially on these sorts of places.


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Here you go. Add me if you want, I'm not going to post anything graphic here anyway. Maybe you can be my next obsession. AngelSyrup#4138

Thanks ♡

I'm not sure - maybe directing anger inwards is perceived as feminine & directing it outwards is seen as masculine.


I did cut some. It's taken me a long time to recover, but I have. I don't cut anymore.

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