/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

for a couple months last year, i had someone akin to my own misaki. i didn't know them irl, only talked to them online, but i was going out relatively frequently with their help, they calmed me down and helped me out in many different ways throughout my daily life, not just when i was outside, and i thought maybe it was the road to stopping being a hikikomori. they have some similar issues though, and in march of last year they started isolating themselves from everyone, online and irl (i talk to someone who is friends with them irl). so, for months now, i've been pondering, do i move on or continue waiting? i've been waiting for a long time now, but the extent they went too for me was something i've never had before, and doubt i'll ever have again. changing their sleep schedule to mine, legitimately always there when i needed them, kept me calm and relaxed, understood me and my emotional needs, went to great lengths to cater to my emotional needs, and did a great job at catering to those needs too, did so many things with me and for me, was very loyal, etc.
so, as i said earlier in the post, do i continue waiting or move on? i'm extremely dependent on other people, but that's a whole different thing to explain in itself. due to this extreme dependency, i really cannot see myself making any progress in my life without them, and i've only gotten worse since they've left..

(I hope it's the right board.)

I think I've been followed/stalked for almost a year now. Possibly had one email hacked too, but I deleted immediately. I closed all my social media.

The problem is, I have absolutely no proof. No alerts, viruses or anything suspicious.

I know it's most likely a "problem" I invented myself but I have a few small reasons to believe it.

Did this happen to anyone else? Do you have any advice?

Does anyone here struggle with any eating disorders?

I have been extremely thin for most of my life, mostly because I regularly skip meals and don't work out.

Being very thin has hurt my self confidence. Also, the only physical activities I like to do are walking and biking, I think this might also make me thin.

Also, this thread can be about general physical help too.

Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.

For example, I saw someone a while back on a Discord server and they're probably the only person who shares the same interests on the server as I do. I can't get them out of my head and am constantly thinking about doing stuff together. I've got a circle of friends already, but I just feel some sort of a special connection (?) to them. Am I becoming a creep or something?

So awhile back I found Infinite Outlaw's video being linked in an interesting links thread on 8chan /hikki/. Since then I've noticed he makes a lot of videos related to the topic and recently has been linking to threads of this board and sometimes using our posts in videos. His most recent video is just a compilation of posts in a thread on here over some music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy4CdqcHwQw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeCSEeBlLhw

I'm going back to school in a few weeks after having been shut in my room for probably 5 years. I dropped out of high school a while back, and even before then my parents took me out of elementary school in favor of homeschooling, since then I've had trouble and barely kept up. I've taken online classes for most of it, but I'm being encouraged to go out and actually attend classes, most because I do want more opportunities out of the house, and my computer is busted.

I'll be taking a high school equivalency thing first before actual college, but the thing is, I have no idea what to expect. I haven't interacted with anyone my own age in real life since I started being homeschooled, so I have no social skills. Additionally, I lack confidence in my own skills and have always struggled. I slacked off a lot and now I'm so behind. I've been trying to study but I don't have experience with a lot of this. Nobody is really helping me, and I can't help but think that, since this is just high school, college will be harder and leave me more drained and depressed than ever before.

No one has even told me what to expect. It's like they just keep dancing around the issue whenever I ask how bad it will be, which isn't helping my anxiety. And I keep stressing out over how much this'll cut into my time and what to do with my life, and hours and weeks and homework and getting high grades. I don't want to just waste any of my time here, but I guess I have to do this if I want to be a functioning member of society and get money. But I just wish someone would help me.

Is it really as bad as I'm thinking? If So, how do I hold out these next few years wasting my life on things I won't ever need to really know without breaking down and killing myself?

How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now

I'm back to the NEET life after 2 whole years of hard work to replenish my unemployment rights, man it's hard to be a decent NEET these days, this was so hard on me that I am now on anti-depressants…

What do you guys do to earn money and stay at home?

In the past I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and more specifically social anxiety disorder.
It was so bad I couldn't even look people in the eye and I would start shaking whenever I feel like I am looked at, I would run out of classrooms at university because of anxiety attacks.
I can't remember what I was on back at the time.

I have now started a new course ( which basically guranatees a job ) and it's back. It's more under control because I am more mature and have learned to breathe, try to calm myself and distract myself but it still doesn't let me function as a human being. ( + )

I am too poor to afford therapy but my cousin works as a nurse. I have access to: paroxetine, citalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, regabalin, tradozone and alprazolam.

( + ) I'm currently anticipating social situations and taking 0.50 of xanax ahead with like half or 3 quarters of an hour but this will not last me long because I'm developing resilience to the drug ( I used to take 0.25 ).

I exercise using the bodyweight fitness app whenever I can. I do not drink coffee, alcohol or energy drinks. I used to drink tea but at some point I realised black tea unsettles me and I kind of stopped.

My concerns are anhedonia and gaining weight because this happened last time.
I plan on informing myself for a few weeks first and I am seeking help.
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hey guise
what's the longest period you've been without a bath?
I haven't showered in 5 days, my record is 2 weeks