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News Post: I am Retiring.

File: 1744690779260.png (577.69 KB, 736x552, imagen_2025-04-15_00164908….png)

 No.9396[Reply]

some time ago I talked to my psychologist, I told her about my most recent attempt to end my life and other suicidal idealizations, she told me that there was a dysregulation with my emotions, that at the slightest bad situation I was already thinking in the extreme, between many words we determined that the origin of my problems was due to the environment that surrounded me and she was right, living with parents who were not mentally and economically stable is not the best for a child to develop, fights, beatings, alcohol, death threats, in addition to suffering bullying for a long time for not being generally neurotypical caused me to have suicidal thoughts with 11 years and many attempts in progress, currently: I do not feel very well but it could be much worse, I went back to smoking for a short period of time and I isolated myself in my room, it is not that I have relapsed completely, I just want to disconnect a little bit from everything to reflect on myself and try to improve somehow, I feel optimistic about it ngl

 No.9398

File: 1744720940267.jpg (81.36 KB, 850x1058, sample_b2d8248676e3afdd406….jpg)

some time ago I talked to my psychologist, I told her about my most recent attempt to end my life and other suicidal idealizations, she told me that there was a dysregulation with my emotions, that at the slightest bad situation I was already thinking in the extreme, between many words we determined that the origin of my problems was due to the environment that surrounded me and she was right, living with parents who were not mentally and economically stable is not the best for a child to develop, fights, beatings, alcohol, death threats, in addition to suffering bullying for a long time for not being generally neurotypical caused me to have suicidal thoughts with 11 years and many attempts in progress, currently: I do not feel very well but it could be much worse, I went back to smoking for a short period of time and I isolated myself in my room, it is not that I have relapsed completely, I just want to disconnect a little bit from everything to reflect on myself and try to improve somehow, I feel optimistic about it ngl

 No.9402

good luck anon



File: 1743885045490.jpg (100.24 KB, 736x552, 0f245547a8efd05f9e63251972….jpg)

 No.9384[Reply]

Im kinda lonely neurodivergent queer person with habit of shutting myself in and isolate from any communication. I have 2 online friends and only one irl i talk with almost everyday and they're only reason i can come outside. We're very close enough to be more than friends but less than lovers and my main problem with getting that close with people is that i get obsessed overtime. Only reason im not rotting in my home is them and i can even say the reason i didn't committed suicide since my mental health still in very shitty condition. However, unlike me they more social and ofc got more irl friends they spend time with. Selfishness about me getting upset when im not being able to spend time with them sometimes, reason which of em being already busy with someone. We set boundaries we're never going to be more than we're but feeling unexpectedly upset hearing them talk about having feelings for someone else. That starts to sounds very incel im very upset with myself, they upset with me too. Im afraid of ruining our friendship with that stupid thing caused by me, im suppressing my feelings as hard as i can and still hurt them. I don't want to think that termination of our friendship should be the solution

 No.9385

File: 1743905419799.png (162.66 KB, 845x854, neettrio.png)

very relatable post especially on the obsession bit.
are you genuinely attracted to them or perhaps its mere infatuation?

 No.9386

>>9384
are you a russky perchance? that really must suck then…

 No.9387

>>9385
Infatuation is more suitable. I liked them from the first year of our friendship, i didn't told them about feelings, so they think i like them as they like me

 No.9390

File: 1744179016042.gif (521.21 KB, 400x524, yuno_1.gif)

I feel you, I fall in love too easily and honestly sometimes I get obsessive over other people. The only thing I can recommend is put some distance and try to keep conversations light and cordial with the person. I also don't think its incel to be jealous over your friend spending time with others and not you and how that effects you. Obviously its not a good thing though and you may be expecting too much over the friendship. I find the best sort of relationships with people is usually mutual interest, and unfortunately some of the people we want to court may not be interested in us. It really sucks, especially when you find out you share a lot of interests with those people but a lot of times it is what it is. Maybe they'll change over time, don't expect it though, and focus on yourself and maybe breaking out of your shell a bit towards different, trustworthy people even if its just online. Find ways to cope without them being there in your life.

 No.9391

i hope the best for you, ubuu



File: 1738913296606.png (43.04 KB, 220x208, Screenshot 2025-02-07 at 0….png)

 No.8947[Reply]

I'm a borderline hikiko, neurodivergent and questioning queer. And yet out of all internet circles, I ended into the WORST sites to being my kind.

>Me. AMAB. Autistic and Adhd diagnosed at young age.

>Join internet around same time.
>Me and a best irl friend got in to the spooky dreaming game. We were like 11 or 12.
>Friend also becomes a brony (this is relevant thrust me)
>No access to TheHub. No ponies for me.
>Instead I kill time surfing the web.
>Somehow I got exposed to weirdos and cringe culture.
>For not being cringe, I went to theirs "serious" animation groups. (they spammed annoying JJBA memes)
>The groups turned into sites for the austrian painter enthusiasts.
>Tfw antiLGBT movements starts on my region, and my friend, who watched a show about being tolerant, becomes a LGBTphobe too.
>Torininguen and Uboas are near in my zone
>I isolate myself eveen more.
>I graduate from high school with school trauma
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
15 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.9273

File: 1739725925835.jpg (208.98 KB, 1072x804, alcohol.jpg)

>>9270
Have you ever considered that I'm standing up for myself by not believing in your philosophical political alignment compass bullshit that permeates modern political discourse? And again, I have my own views and my own philosophy on life (I have plainly stated that I am not a centrist multiple times ITT, despite defending them and their right to exist) but I am far from "passive" or a "doormat", and my view isn't that both sides have a point, but that both are worthy of critique and mockery despite the occasional validity of their respective points. The mainstream examples of political discourse (especially within my own country) do not reflect my own moral compass and my own values nor do they make any attempt to appeal to the every day person, despite their claims. I could go on and give some examples but this isn't the website for this and I'd rather not turn this place into a political shitshow.

I do agree with op that there is a force online trying to forcefully get trans and gay people to conceal themselves and their hobbies through gaslighting (particularly vomitive shitholes like soyjak party, which even hate anime of all things despite deriving from imageboard culture that derived from 4chan that derived from 2chan that derived from net otaku culture, etc etc) but I also very much dislike the labeling and identity games I feel a lot of people play that feels like it categorizes people as if they are genres of music rather than human beings.

 No.9274

>>9273
I was talking about why centrism is mockable, not you specifically. I apologize if I sounded a little personal there. Obviously there is criticism to be had on both the left and the right, but to insist they are the same or that they have the same beliefs is just insane (which is implied by believing they both hold the same amount of weight in terms of their arguments and beliefs, it's literally impossible to think both are equally valid ideas if you truly understand both as they are radically different)

Otherwise I agree, the internet has become a very strange place since 2016, and even stranger since 2020 and the advent of AI…

 No.9275

>>9271
It's anatomically detailed.

 No.9276

>>9275
i pride myself on my attention to detail and clinical accuracy

 No.9383

>>8947
But OP…you still could have been a cringy weirdo whilst also being a chud. I would know, I used to listen to the youtube narration of Daughter of Discord whilst posting on 4/pol/.
Frankly it just sounds like you need to finally gain some self-determination and go be the keyboard warrior you wish you could have been. If you're embarrassed about your age, you can just hide it; and if you long for some sort of childlike innocence to view this stuff through then you don't have to worry, that stuff is a myth. We all lose that by the time we turn 10 or so. I'm surprised it took you this long to catch onto the fact that you weren't having a good time with the circles you were in



File: 1740418965737.jpg (90.65 KB, 1255x953, GggUqFKW0AA2T9M.jpg)

 No.9299[Reply]

how do you guys cope with paranoia? I don't usually struggle to talk to people too hard online, Like I have friends that I can play games with and stuff, but even then I have these straight up delusional episodes and huge swaths of paranoia that causes me to struggle, even in seemingly favorable circumstances. Really close friend? I'll lose sleep for weeks thinking up all sorts of insane shit. Finally forced myself to leave the house? Every single car is someone who is gonna stop, get out, and attack me or kidnap me or something. God Forbid if the car has tinted windows, My body will just straight up have a fear response to completely innocuous things! It keeps me locked up inside, I barely wanna leave my room cause I'll get paranoid over the people I'm living with. It's unbelievably mentally isolating, Sometimes I just wish the isolation was a purely physical state that had no baring on my mental - but we all know it's not that simple.
13 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.9354

File: 1742441011132-0.jpg (144.64 KB, 474x591, purple pool453634623434.jpg)

File: 1742441011132-1.jpg (83.65 KB, 1024x768, vrwhtmnqdozc1.jpg)

>>9349
Since you feel good than I wouldn't worry too hard about it right now, in the short-to-medium term nothing super bad can happen anyways, and you might be on something that doesn't have major adverse long term effects. If somethings working that could be a good thing.

I can talk more in depth about my experience taking an antispyche for 2 years if you want to know, but in short I had negative experiences within weeks, that only got worse overtime. This is in contrast to you having good experiences so far!

If I were you I would search online to see what long term studies say about the drugs your taking, even just checking the wikipedia page can be helpful for getting an idea. Not all drugs are dangerous, antipsyches as a rule tend to have a higher risk profile though which alongside my personal experiences, is why I made my original comment.

To try to answer your other question, psychiatry is focused around the chemistry of the mind and mental health conditions. Psychiatrists seek to solve mental health conditions with chemical solutions, medication.

Psychology is the study of the human mind and all the nuanced aspects of it, a chemical understanding can still be used, but it won't be the whole picture for a psychologist.

For example, if a patient were highly depressed due to having an abusive parent. A psychiatrist would just give them an antidepressent and call it a day, because their whole understanding of the condition is confined to the patients brain chemistry. In contrast a good psychologist would try to help the patient build the state of mind needed to get away from the abusive relationship, help them process what happened through therapy, and then only recommend medication if therapy wasn't working or if the patients condition were so distressed that therapy wasn't possible at the moment.

Clinical therapists tend to fill both roles in a clinical setting and can lean more in one direction or another depending on the needs of the patient and or the therapists training and their practices methodology. It's a challenge finding a good one, but if you do they can be very helpful.

 No.9355

File: 1742443847517.jpg (152.8 KB, 1500x1500, 1740264968113.jpg)

>>9354
I'd love to hear more of your story.

As for me, I am so conflicted about this medication because pretty much all my paranoia has gone away, the visual stuff I've been calling Hallucinations has also been completely absent, I feel very grounded in reality overall! Although I have been getting a lot of brain fog, and what feels like a constant passive headache, and some other random bullshit. I'm not sure how I feel about that trade off, the brain fog kinda sucks but not being crazy paranoid all the damn time is kinda huge. Weirdest part is that its been easier for me to focus? but I also feel like I've become stupider at the same time?? like I'm less aware of my intelligence? its so hard to describe

On the note of doctors and shit, I really don't know what I need clinically. If I need a therapist, if I need to see a psychologist, if a psychiatrist is the right call… It gets my head so spun up man.

I really do wonder if I was struggling with some sort of Schizo-disorder type thing my whole life without realizing this whole time, or maybe I developed it at some point? Or maybe I'm just bipolar or something? I don't know how this works, I will keep this thread updated if you anons care though.

 No.9375

File: 1742874411067.png (129.32 KB, 432x415, 1741820346321847.png)

OP here again, The side effects on the meds I was taking got super severe and I ended up having a bit of a meltdown, I must've gotten sick or something but I had one of the worst nights in recent memory. I totally broke down, Got wrapped up in genuinely insane delusions, yelled at a friend a bunch, my whole body felt cold, it was proper FUCKED. I decided to give it a couple days but recovering from that sickness at the same time as the side effects getting worse combo'd me into oblivion so I purposefully missed my dose yesterday, as I write this I'm experiencing withdrawals.

I called my doctor and they swapped it for a different medication, I'm hoping for the best on this new one, The last one tackled the problem at hand but fuck man those side effects were intense. The brain fog alone was crippling especially near the end, Going cold turkey felt like "Waking up" mentally in the strangest way.

I got some benny for the withdrawals and I'm gonna start the new med as soon as I hear back from the doc, maybe this time it'll fix me.

 No.9376

>>9375
wow this is just like the underground cult classic indie game yume nikki from 2004 produced by kikiyama now available to play on steam

 No.9377

File: 1742967363358.jpg (785.62 KB, 3664x2748, battlestations345608945656….jpg)

>>9375
Hey oh, I'm
>>9354
>>9347
>>9343
When I have the energy I'll write more to you here soon. Good luck and wishing you well, sorry you're having such a rough time.



File: 1734158908611.png (121.94 KB, 850x1103, ClipboardImage.png)

 No.8774[Reply]

It sound faggy, but I wish I lived in the world of DELTARUNE. I hate my shitty little life here in Australia. My only actual friends are the faggots the government pays to tolerate me to make sure I don't sperg out and kill myself. I've tried to go to social events, like Magic and Pokémon TCG tournaments, but the only people there are megaspergs who I can't be next to without wishing that they get shot, or they're unfriendly zoomers. The few nice people are too distant. Nothing gives me joy any more. If I was a DELTARUNE character everything would be so much easier. I love the colours of Hometown, I love the people there. I don't want to come across like one of the autists soying out about how great it would be to live in the Avatar universe, but does anybody feel the way I do? I hate how close my cucked lib parents are to me. I wish they didn't care so that I could have an actual excuse to be upset. I wish I lived in Canada or even a shithole like America or the UK. I hate being stuck in the shitty weather with my ugly stupid fucking parents and their stupid fucking gen x faggotry. I almost want to cut myself just to have something to cry over but I'm scared. I wish I had some friends but because I live in such a fucking shithole the only people around are complete fucking retards with fucking ugly haircuts and subhuman levels of intelligence. I hate this. I wish I had different parents. I'll never be able to buy a house, or live on my own. If only I had just a few close friends that weren't complete fucking autismo cunts. But that's too much to fucking ask for in a fucking era of "neurodivergency" and "self expression". I want a fucking friend. I want a room that isn't in a complete fucking shack owned bu some fucking faggy pacifist christian group. I hate everything about my life. I wish someone would rape me to death so that I could at least go out without it being my fault. I wish people would mourn me. I'm so bored. I'm so alone. I hate my stupid fucking parents so fucking much. I wish they had abused me as a kid so that I actually had something to cry over. I'm stuck. I had one friend. I liked her so much. It was entirely platonic, but that didn't make it any less of a break from the stupid faggotry that this shitty fucking world keeps flinging at people. I hate feeling sorry for myself because I have things that people would die for but I'm such a pathetic little faggot. I want to troon out because I'm so sick of being a man, and being a girl seemsPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
20 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.9367

>>9364
You're a disgusting "back in my day" faggot. "Oh, you little daffodil, you don't know how good you've got it!"

Fuck you cunts. Am I not allowed to get angry at anything?

 No.9368

>>9246

>Wow, maybe I've tried this, too. I've applied to eight different locations, and gotten nothing so much as a response back. Your stupid, cucked, bootstrap advice pisses me off more than my own state of living ever could.


knew this fat polynesian ex-gang member in his mid 20s who moved from NZ to "begin a new life", had a wife and two kids, one in AU and the other in NZ. needed the money to fight custody (criminal record, that's not going to happen). if that guy can jobhop while needing to support a family despite not having any qualifications then you must just be an uber 'tard. just do warehouse labor and mete our your small brain under a cement roller, faggot.

 No.9369

>>9364
>a board that doesn't talk like this
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I don't care for the rest of the site. I'm only here because there are not exactly a lot of options for hikki discussion.
>clearly being underage
We were all underage once. I for one believe myself to have more in common with someone who's underage and on my life path (though they may drop out) than a failed normal my own age.
>having parents that fucking love him
Lots of people have people that love and care about them, but that doesn't prevent them from getting into dark places. It's not about intent but results.
>living in one of the nicest countries
This is just classic thirdie seethe.

 No.9373

>>9368
I've tried. I just genuinely don't know how far I'm supposed to go. Also, your story about the ex-gang member? petercapaldi_thisdidnthappenactually.jpg

 No.9374

>>9369
Finally, somebody who actual sees the total faggotry being shoved in my face for what it is. I don't appreciate the hugboxing, but at least there's some sort of recognition. Also, do you people automatically assume anybody who doesn't adopt your cigar-smoking, brandy-sipping airs is underage?

I've tried so fucking hard for so fucking long, so can you imagine that I might, perhaps, be angry when some fat fucking squeaker cunt says "oh, actually, it's all your fault and you're doing something wrong, everybody else is fine, you're simply lazy and have an aura of unlikeability, you need to improve yourself by doing these things that you've either tried or are already doing"?



File: 1742036527314.png (154.31 KB, 850x1202, ClipboardImage.png)

 No.9338[Reply]

What's even the point anymore? I've basically given up. I've lost so many opportunities; some of them my fault, a lot of them pure circumstance. But how much more do I have left to give?

People are unfriendly. All of those that share my interests are either autistics or just plain rude. I got called "terminally online" for asking for some normfag's discord handle (a site that I hate).

There's nothing to do around the city. Everything costs money. The streets are grimy and filled with the homeless. Housing costs keep going up. Nobody cares. The footpaths are choked with hideous invasive flowering weeds. The concrete is cracked and dirty. The infrastructure is accessible only to cars.

Why bother? There's not much point in leaving the house. But it's not much better inside than out. I try using mainstream socials, but everybody there is either unable to take criticism unless it goes with the flow of the community's zeitgeist, or is an American retard. And decent sites move too slowly to keep me occupied.

Why try? I'm enrolled for a once-a-week college course, starting this following week. But I don't see why I should care. I'll either do something stupid and get myself kicked out, or somebody else will.

I remember getting really sad a few years ago about the realisation that everything is ephemeral. Everything will eventually decay into entropy. I try to think about it every so often, but it's hardly motivating. What difference does it make if I try or not? Nobody will ever remember me either way.

It rained for a few days a little while ago.

I miss the petrichor.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.9352

File: 1742422319136.png (19.51 KB, 503x437, Screenshot_97.png)

>>9351
dw man we'll get a rip of reload eventually, much like every good thing in life, it is inevitable and worth surviving tomorrow for.

 No.9353

>>9352
There's something so beautiful about the samples used by the music. I tried Portable, but the washed-out colours and lake of overworld models for the hero made it feel surreal and hard to connect with. Same with FES. But Reload feels real. And the theming of the water, the feeling of endlessly falling upwards, is beautiful.

 No.9370

Dropped out of uni AGAIN

 No.9371

>>9370
i feel for you… do you want to talk about it?

t. persona 3 guy

 No.9372

>>9351
It's hard. Sometimes I'm strangled by loneliness. I understand where you're coming from, and if there was a remedy I'd be all for it. I guess we just need to bank on the hope that everything washes out eventually.

Things are looking quiet this month. Another morning slouching toward Gomorrah.



File: 1712500190664.png (152.59 KB, 484x446, alien.png)

 No.8054[Reply]

Does anyone feel fundamentally different from other people?

Like there's an insurmountable wall separating you from everyone else that you won't ever be able to overcome. Even with all the riches and a perfect life on the surface there would still be distance.

Ever since I was a kid I was the "weird kid." At home I was an unwanted child. It really just feels like I'm not supposed to exist, but do anyway, as some glitch in the matrix. And all the forces in the universe are desperately trying to bug fix my existence.

I feel very little loyalty towards the world, humanity, or society.
12 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.8336

Can't quite put my finger on it but yes. I've always blamed it on being an immigrant even though I speak the native language without an accent and all my friends were natives growing up. I'm not able to articulate myself how I would want to. Writing is the closest thing I have.

In the end, although I'm not the dumbest in the world, I'm not smart enough to figure out what the underlying mechanism to this great problem with belonging is.

 No.9281

File: 1739833525848.png (7.84 MB, 2894x2412, 1316231.png)

>>8054
neurodivergence

 No.9288

Yeah, people just conclude I'm strange with minimal interaction but it's whatever, I'm at a point in life where being social is very tiring so I just don't try anymore.

 No.9290

This is called anderssein.

 No.9366

File: 1742740452113.png (66.13 KB, 302x198, tomo.png)

It's more as if I understand that they have the capacity to sniff out intruders on the same limb that they enjoy in strangling outsiders with overwhelming indifference, so I play into my end of the bargain and steer clear of the tracks. I don't need to incapacitate myself with the writhing hivemind and their flesh-eaten orgies, and they don't feel noxious at the thought of being simpatico with me.



File: 1740473173159.png (202.1 KB, 398x398, изображение_2025-02-25_173….png)

 No.9304[Reply]

Hi anons, I'm a random dude from Russia, I don't study, I don't work, I sit at home and go out only to store. I was wondering, how do you people from other countries live now and how, do you have anything to share your experience?
I'm thinking of moving to Japan someday (I love Japanese culture and I'm learning Japanese on duolingo) and living my stupid life there, well, and of course buying “Yume Nikki” merch.

 No.9305

File: 1740483174641-0.png (46.79 KB, 401x396, 1601845706776.png)

Oh hey, another fellow Russian on this god's forsaken imageboard. What a pleasant surprise, truly an extra slice of joy.
> I don't study.
You should consider it.
> I don't work.
You should consider it.
> how do you people from other countries live now and how
Unpleasant, but I'm used to it. Waiting for certain improvements.
> do you have anything to share your experience?
If you even consider finding a job - don't go to the governance structures. It's just not worth it.
> I'm thinking of moving to Japan
Leave it be that way, and look for an opposite direction instead.
> and of course buying “Yume Nikki” merch
DIY instead. At least that's what I do to grow my Yume Nikki merchandise collection.

And you didn't have to attach your personal e-mail to the post. It is not necessary.

 No.9318

File: 1740940479667.png (212.54 KB, 454x643, chino deftones.png)

Hello, friend.
>>9304
>I was wondering, how do you people from other countries live now and how, do you have anything to share your experience
This is a broad question. If one lives in a shithole the experience will be bad, if one lives in a good country then it will be good. But for me is unplesant. I do not seriously consider to leave my country (unless thing gets really bad) because "you will never be one of them" and this fact really bothers me.

 No.9320

>>9318
It is sad. Unfortunately despite trade between parts of the world being greater than ever cultural export and homogeneity has decreased, meaning that moving between countries feels like shifting between planets. I hope you find the country of your dreams. I, personally, want to move to Finland. I love ULTRAKILL, walking through the snow, and Finnish as a language.

 No.9321

>>9320
teach me your ways

 No.9323

>>9320
??? What are you meaning???



File: 1632853686799.jpg (308.77 KB, 1536x1536, download (11).jpg)

 No.6830[Reply]

I truly do not believe that my future has any light at all. it's made itself very clear over the years that my parents just don't love me. they don't care or listen to me. They say it's unacceptable for me to ever be a NEET/live in their house much longer. I don't know what i'm going to do next. I deeply resent society and I'm not interested in working or doing studies. i dropped out when i was 16 with no graduation. i turn 19 in february. i'm not good at talking to others in real life nor do i desire it. the thing is i'm very talented at multiple things, and i love making art, i share it online and am also part of online artist communities, it's truly one thing that motivates me to live everyday to create and also to help others. But seeing the state of this world and how people like me are treated, it feels tiresome and neverending. I don't want to waste my potential but i am just not made for this shit. Who ever thought bringing offspring into this shit world [school, work, maybe family, die, repeat] was a good idea? Sorry for the depressing post. I just needed a place to write out these words. I think i just need to isolate myself more and ignore them entirely. It's a waste of energy to talk to them.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6833

let it all out man

can i see some of your art (:

 No.6834

>>6833
thanks. It's mostly just video collage/music, i don't really feel comfortable with linking my accounts though..
i'm decent at drawing but still trying to get better. Maybe one day i'll get back to this thread and post some.

 No.9301

>>6834

its been 3 years…

 No.9302

I wonder if this pal is doing better now.

 No.9307

>>9302
i hope so



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File: 1739898018262-1.jpg (394.94 KB, 2200x1261, __freminet_and_pers_genshi….jpg)

 No.9282[Reply]

I feel like everyday I'm slowly regressing back to my hikki ways and I'm trying to stop it. I get burnt out and today I was supposed to have a meeting with my teacher and then go to my other class but I accidentally skipped both today because I felt too stressed to get out of bed, and I still have to go to my internship in about a few hours. I've also been on my phone a bit more than usual. Any advice on how to stop this constant wave of inactivity and stress?


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