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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

File: 1569700187206.jpg (1.06 MB, 924x924, Touhou.full.1980291.jpg)

 No.5756[Reply]

i hope this is ok, to rant here. i rarely make threads but i don't know. it's hard right now, so i am sorry. but damn.

i want a friend.

i want to know what it's like to be with someone that doesn't pity you; hasn't been stuck with you by order of a higher power; that's not in your family, and obligated by blood to make a weekly phone call; someone that genuinely wants to be around you. going out to eat, going to the movies, playing video games together, talking about your feelings, rabb.iting (?), sharing your writing, roleplaying, playing d&d. tagging each other in memes over twitter. i want someone to be with.

but i know i don't deserve it. i'm lazy. i'm rude to people on the internet just to make myself feel better. my breath stinks all the time, even though i brush and floss. i'm weak and ugly and stupid. i have disgusting fetishes. i'm boring, i know, i've never been able to hold a conversation. didn't even get bullied in high-school by the bullies because they know i wasn't meant for much but the part of shadow.

i'm sick of myself; i've been sick of myself since middle school. but i'm too cowardly to suicide, and i keep thinking things will get better.

and perhaps they will.

but i can't see myself making a friend the way i am. and no, this isn't me scouting for friends. this is just me unloading all my bullshit on a bunch of anonymous people that're probably going through the same thing, or worse.

i don't know. i want a friend to hold me and tell it's ok. but i'd be disgusted by anyone that wanted to get close to me.
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 No.5897

Keeping friendships is hard even for normalfags. Transient NEET here trying to stop NEETing but failing for 3 years.

> What an asshole, if you don't want to be friends with someone just fucking say it, you coward.


I did this to someone and it went badly. He cried in front of me and I felt like complete shit. I understand why people don't. Relationships both platonic and romantic need to be mutual, if one party isn't getting anything after a fair amount of time (year(s)) that's time to cut to the cord.
The ritual for normalfags is to gradually fade away. I've learned this from multiple groups now. It sucks being on the other end of it and I agree it's not intuitive. The other problem is that literally everyone I've ever met is insecure, even the good people out there as rare as they are. So saying "I don't want to be friends" = directly attacking their egos and making them feel vulnerable to them even if that's not what it means. People can't take the idea that it's natural to grow apart sometimes and they go apeshit over it. When people grow apart well adjusted people find new people that fit them better. (Like climbing a mountain for people like us.)

 No.5915

>>5892
Looking back at my post, i got super depressed and overly dramatic by the end, i sounded like a teenager haha.
While a lack of experience is part of the problem, i think it goes deeper than that. I've tried to be social throughout my life, i've been in many social situations, I got "experience" socializing, but mostly experiences of failure, of feeling isolated and laughed at. They say that we learn from our failures and get better thanks to them, but when it comes to interacting with others it only drives you deeper into solitude.
And all the good experiences i gained being friends with that guy for so many years have not helped my social skills at all.
I think it's mostly a personality thing.
I've always suspected that it might be pathological, perhaps im somewhere in the autism spectrum, but i doubt knowing that for sure would help me at all in overcoming this fundamental flaw.
>>5897
I understand. I got resentful when i wrote that.
I wouldn't be able to just tell someone to stop being friends with me either.
Maybe this is the best way to part ways. The silence and ambiguity is anxious and annoying at first, but when it goes on long enough the message that the friendship is over is clear, without awkward loud fight, just calmly fading away.
Friends come and go like that, its just so much worse for someone with only one.

 No.5942

don't want to make a new thread and i'm a lazy fuck that is too lazy to search the catalog for a general vent/life complaint thread but fuck i hate being stupid

like that's another that gets me, i can pinpoint why i love something but i have no way to verbalize it that makes sense, i know i'll just come across as a dumbass to people. e.g. these two games explore the relationship between a consumer and the creator of the media they enjoy; there has to be a degree of trust between the two to ensure the story gets told but man that sounds so retarded

and it's not just that, i'm bad at almost everything. i rarely if ever notice plot holes. i find it hard to verbalize why i love a certain character past their design/some vague personality traits and i have this awful habit of agreeing with anyone's opinion if it's written well

i hate myself. i wish there were a pill to make me smarter

 No.5951

>>5878
I can relate to that so hard, I never understood how people work.

 No.5959

I went through a similar phase, but it got to where I couldn't keep up with everyone and/or they weren't worth keeping up with. I found the optimal number of friends for me is about 5. It helps if you have your own little group and are interconnected.
>>5942
As for the stupid thing, I relate to that hard too. Feels like there are holes in my brain. I think it has something to do with my laziness, and how I never felt to improve myself. I'm sure there are ways to train yourself to think better, you just have to find them.



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 No.5934[Reply]

There are times you really can't stand the society you live in, you can't help but think most of the people close to you are lazy, evil, backwards, or simply plain retarded while you are the only one still sane.

There is nothing wrong about avoiding the people from your area when you can't stand them, being alone may be the only option when you are surrounded by primitive savages, remember the problem is not with you, it's just that you happen to live in the wrong place.
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 No.5948

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

 No.5949

File: 1576068253035.jpg (41.36 KB, 768x529, polpot.jpg)

>>5946
If you're able to move to another city, state or country, your mental health can improve if the people in this new area are better, you can go from feeling 100% awful all the time to feeling 70% awful all the time, for a hikki that's a huge improvement

 No.5950

>>5949
Even if they move they would say everyone is the same as the people in the old place.

 No.5952

>>5950
Then said neet has a problem in their head

 No.5953

>>5952
That's obvious.



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 No.3276[Reply]

Life story time
>Be 7 years ago
>18
>Have pretty OK life in front of me
>Suddenly start losing all motivation and sleeping more and more
>Be NEET for 3 years
>Finally get a part time job (cashier, though boss had me doing everything in the store)
>Start going to doctor thinking I was depressed
>2 years, 8 months of therapy, 25 different medications, $26,000 (after insurance) in doctor bills later
>At this point sleeping 16 hours a day and working the rest
>Occasionally dozing off during work and even while driving
>Doctor finally gives me CFS/ME diagnosis
>Tells me there's no treatment
>Gives me prescriptions for Adderall, Vyvanse, Concerta, Ritalin & Desoxyn
>They work great for a couple days before losing all effectiveness (even at max dose), takes over a month for tolerance to get back down
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 No.5518

Most people fail their initial disability application. What you do then is contact a disability lawyer. There are tons of them who will file your appeal for free and then just take a portion of your backpay as payment when you're approved. I have had a few friends do this.

 No.5900

>>3276

The gov designs this shit to poor shame and disability shame. It's part of the strategy so that corporate heads can keep padding their pockets with our taxes instead of letting laws get written that actually improve the wellbeing of our people. That's ass OP, am sperg, had IEP in school and can't go outside without an anxiety attack and still can't get SSI.

 No.5938

Would reccomend you get a disability lawyer but they normally take their pay out of your benefit, find a local social services agency to help you, send your documentation and appeal the inevitable first rejection/denial.

 No.5940

>>5492
I feel somewhat bad replying to an old post like this, (and really that as a whole is why, while I have browsed before I've never really posted on uboachan much) but, if you are here anon, what are the symptoms of your stomach infection and gastrointestinal issues? I thought that I might have IBS, and brought it up with my doctor last year. but I don't really eat much of the things that apparently cause IBS symptoms anyways, so, I've wondered if the issue is something else. It also feels like when I'll get cramps and diarrhea is completely random. I can eat fast food garbage and feel fine, but eat a home cooked meal and feel horrible after (although I think milk and coffee will pretty consistently make me sick). I've done blood tests for celiac and didn't have that. When I do have my episodes of cramps and diarrhea, my shit will have an "infection" sort of a smell for lack of a better term, normally it doesn't smell like that, only when I have an episode, which also makes me think it might not be IBS, but instead an infection or some other gastrointestinal issue. These bouts of cramps and diarrhea happen probably around once a week, every two at the most, so it's not an everyday thing, but when it does happen it lasts quite a long time. Maybe it really is just IBS and I'm being stupid about it.

If you did end up getting a colonoscopy and more bloodwork, I'd be curious to know how it went. I get you're not a doctor, but, maybe you'd have some sort of an idea of what might be wrong if my experinces are similar to yours.

I'm sorry for the long-winded post, and if other people with gastrointestinal issues want to chime in, by all means do so.

 No.5941

>>5942
got some extra stool test but didn't get the colonoscopy and likely still need it. Ended up with a diagnosis and test of positive for Helicobacter Pylori after 6 months of false negatives, it might still be an infection in upper intestine.

IBS does not notmally have a distinct smell in the same way helicobacter pylori and colostrum difficile infections do, tests for those have high false negative rates so you may need to cease whatever treatment you take (proton pump inhibitor medication especiallY) in order to find out if you do have one of those



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 No.5931[Reply]

I got a job interview the guy that was interviewing me literally looked like a psychopath what do? job seems pretty chill but I mistakely gave him promises of quadrupling his business profits with no idea on how to do so. I actually applied for a position that I was a "overqualified" for but all I wanted was not work in the industry I was in which is horrible (construction in oil & gas). dude wanted me to pretty much automate certain parts of his business I also have no idea on how to do that. I think I brag too much in job interviews and fuck myself when I realize I have no idea on how to do things then get fired for not being able deliver.

 No.5932

Doesn't everyone do the same thing? You'll be fine, anon.

 No.5935

Yeah I did the same, almost the same actually, I learned what I was supposed to know on the run.
Just learn to do whatever you lied about unless it's too lunatic, and do it fast, time is running.



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 No.5807[Reply]

I just started uni a few months ago and I think after so many years of near social isolation from anyone but the few friends and family I did have I don't even know where to start anymore.
I haven't had a single meaningful conversation in two months and I haven't spoken to my room mate in over a week and I eat lunch alone every day. I feel like there's a brick wall between me and everyone else.
On top of all else I make an embarrassment of myself in a required public speaking class every week and now I'm more self conscious than ever.

It didn't really bother me to be alone before, living in a small rural town with few people I could relate to but now that there are so many people around me that even share similar interests to me its extremely overwhelming and I feel more alone than ever.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5815

For all i know about making friends,bravery is an necesary component but it is totatlly useless if you lack luck.

 No.5911

tbh idk, the people in my life hurt me

 No.5912

I can't help you as I never had friends

 No.5924

>>5807
friends aren't something you can really force, but I'd suggest looking for clubs or activities to hang out in, if you're able. That is probably one of the more natural ways to put yourself into a social situation.

 No.5925

I always had issues talking about myself or my likes, so all I did was ask people about theirs, if I didn't like or wasn't interested in something I'd ask too. Sometimes I felt empathy and sometimes I didn't. As time passed I happened to surround me with extroverted people who were good at communicating their feelings and I think I learned some of that as I spent time with them.

A good thing is that they always tried to find new ways to offend eachother in a very friendly way. Sometimes things got a bit far but we all knew it was a risk we were taking, we took the hits anyway, and to be honest sometimes those words were right. This made us stronger in a sense, we became more aware of the perception people had about us, so we slowly improved, or at least knew about our lackings and tried to balance it in a way.

Eventually, I became good friends with a girl and we got into a relationship. She likes to talk about herself a lot, about the things she wants, clothes, the people at her job (I am still a -bad- student), her friends and all, which fills that void of my personality. All I have to do is listen. It makes me feel less lonely to be with her.

I used to be afraid of social interaction, but as I knew people more and more I noticed most of them were not that different. People feel embarassed even though you see they did fine. I still feel lonely sometimes –and I believe it's a feeling inherent to our generation– even if I'm surrounded with people but now I can go through it knowing I won't go down.



File: 1568478396049.png (1.09 MB, 1920x1080, someday.png)

 No.5733[Reply]

i've never really been accustomed to normal conversation, and i suppose that's why what happened today happened. i was talking to one of my few friends and she sent me a website saying that it was her least favorite site. it was this page where AI makes images of people who don't actually exist, and i asked why didn't she like it, and she began to rant about how i always ask such questions, meaningless inquiries that add nothing to conversation, and i just felt like shit… she told me to stop acting like i didn't understand anything because she "knows i do." i didn't understand why she would hate that website, that's why i asked her. now we're at odds. it'll resolve soon, i'm sure, but i just feel like i did something wrong. i've always done this, and people always seem to get weary, even though i'm asking genuine questions. i feel like i'm trying to be kept down, but i don't want to be.

i just wanted to ask a question.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5806

>>5804
First you start throwing this "incel" crap for a post that has nothing to do with sexuality/romantic relationships, then in the end, you come to pretty much the same conclusion as the aforementioned post…

 No.5808

>>5806
you are deeply disturbed w

 No.5809

>>5808

Could be. To me, the story goes as follows:

-OP has a conversation with their "friend"

-Said friend brings up a ceratin (otherwise tame and non-controversial) website, expressing her dislike for it

-OP has a different opinion, so asks her to elaborate

-"Friend" gets triggered and insults OP

Unless you are white knighting because the "friend" in quesstion happens to be female, or you have been succesfully gaslighted for years, it should be clear that for this "friend", OP was never a real friend. They were merely a utility of reassurance and emotional comfort to her. OP made the unthinkable mistake of having (and expressing) a different opinion, so they had to be taught a lesson.

If you think that this was all OP's fault, and it is perfectly fine to throw a fit and insult a supposed friend over an AI, then I don't know what to say.

 No.5813


 No.5910

OP here. all has been resolved. thanks for all of your input, some of it did help. me and her are on good terms now.



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 No.5777[Reply]

Dear /hikki/

I wouldn't call myself a NEET since I have a job and go to college, but a lot of my friends from school don't really talk to me anymore, and I live in a small southern town where I don't really fit in. The only thing that really keeps me from feeling empty is a close long distance friend I've had for about 3 years now. She's gone to bed for tonight, so while browsing the web I came across this forum.

I looked at this board and I almost cried… I say almost because it's hard for me to cry anymore. A board of people, lonesome and in pain like she is, and at times like I am.

I know my words may be meaningless Hallmark nonsense you've heard a million times, but please keep trying. Keep trying to make friends. Keep trying to find your meaning in this otherwise meaningless existence, and find freedom in knowing it's meaning is for you to decide. Maybe I have no business posting here but my heart is telling me to reach out. Each and every one of you has potential to be something. I know it's hard, but try to find joy in every little victory. If you ask a girl out and get rejected, acknowledge your bravery. If you go for an interview and fail, correct what you did wrong and double down on what you know you did right. I'm just rambling now, and maybe I have no business commenting on your troubles, but it pains me to see lost souls with nowhere to turn, because I know how it feels. Please, if just one person hears me out, please try to have hope again. If anyone here needs someone to text to I've created a Discord account. Contact me at ApolloSanshiro #1110 on Discord.

Going to bed now. I'll check as soon as I can to see if anyone here has sent a friend request.

Best wishes to everyone,
ApolloSanshiro

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a qualified professional and I'm NOT substitute for a Suicide hotline or psychiatric professional. Please don't announce a planned suicide to me as I can't afford any legal liability.
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 No.5795

I didn't go in with the mindset of a "leader", so I'm sorry if I came off that way. I mainly used a name because that's the name I chose to use for my Discord account, so using the default "anonymous" seemed kind of pointless this time. I just thought that if I made an earnest attempt to reach out, someone might give me a chance to be there for them, since that's what I wanted during a very troubled and lonely time in my life. I realize now that I acted too hastily in a community and culture I don't fully understand yet, I'm happy I made the attempt anyway, and I have no intention of giving up, but I'll be sure to think my actions through more from now on. Thanks again for you support and advice.

I do intend to return to 4Chan like boards from time to time, as I've enjoyed my time here so far. Any advice for how I should conduct myself? I've only occasionally posted on 4Chan from time to time and done a little lurking.

 No.5898

>>5795

> I do intend to return to 4Chan like boards from time to time, as I've enjoyed my time here so far. Any advice for how I should conduct myself? I've only occasionally posted on 4Chan from time to time and done a little lurking.


Lurk more and understand that boards like this are pretty far removed from 4chan too. The culture here is different than the culture there.

 No.5902

File: 1573919097521.jpg (97.85 KB, 764x694, tokenloli0.jpg)

>Outsiders see us as a 4chan like board

 No.5903

>Keep trying to find your meaning in this otherwise meaningless existence, and find freedom in knowing it's meaning is for you to decide.

My existence is quite meaningful, thank you very much, I just wish I could forever stay inside my room with no one bothering me. Glad you have that one friend, but that doesn't mean everyone else also should have friends. I LOVE SOLITUDE. Just being alone, doing housework alone, watching movies and playing games alone, with no one around me - all of this is AWESOME. "Lonely" does not mean "in pain", remember that.

 No.5905

File: 1573934303073.png (100.79 KB, 422x304, This thread.png)

Have you got anyone on discord yet OP? You seem to have fallen victim to /hikki/'s dumbass old-gaurd, but I hope you made at least a couple of friends.



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 No.5887[Reply]

this is it bois sick of the trauma sick of thinking everyone hates me sick of having no point in my life. wake up every morning looking at where im at now and feeling nothing but anger and disgust. just need a nice discussion before i quit this shit and ascend

 No.5888

File: 1573839276002.jpg (23.43 KB, 266x375, Kino_no_Tabi_volume_1_cove….jpg)

IMO becoming an hero isn't the best response to this. If you're prepared to leave your life behind, you might as well use that opportunity to go on an adventure, like leave all your possessions and run away somewhere to explore a country or jungle or something. If things get too bad or you get arrested you can always kys then, but at least you will have finished on a high note, having fun instead of being depressed and barely existing at all. I remember there was a guy on wizchan who moved to japan to be a hobo for a year.

 No.5896

>>5888

Seconding this. But know that the cops won't just let you kys and a bullet or bridge is way easier than bashing your own head against the cell toilet. And if you fail they'll restrain you in solitary which is worse than death. Don't get arrested, or if you do have an exit plan prior to the actual arrest.

 No.5904

…is he gone?



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 No.4545[Reply]

Anybody else here who used to frequent hikkichan?
It's closed now and I feel like I lost my home.
This is the only other place where I can maybe belong..
58 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5414

>>5326
do not think sadness is a competition, very bad idea

 No.5415

File: 1547282589404.jpg (55.54 KB, 687x657, Kny-6a2Rekc.jpg)

>>5414
That's what I've been thinking… Furthermore, your 'level of sadness' don't really depend on how high your level of life is, how well you're being treated by other people, your social status etc. I mean miserable hikikkomori nobody cares about can be 100 times happier than rich daughter of some politician or something. I think it all depends on your personal view of life and other extremely subjective things.

With that said, how come person who works be less miserable than hikki? Can this person have social anxiety and depression too? Yes, of course he can, and he's forced to act like a productive member of society everyday. Isn't that sad? That's why sadness isn't a competition.

Everyone's sad in their own way and nobody can have a mental capacity to truly understand what other person feel and why is it that way. I think we should treat each other's sadness equally.

 No.5474

I lurked hikkichan for a long time and posted a couple times. I found this site looking for a replacement. I lurked wizchan too but couldn't post because I've had a girlfriend before.

>>4570 sums it up pretty well


Looking at this thread it seems like this board isn't really for hikki / neet users, just for discussion about hikki's from the outside in, so it's not really comparable to hikkichan.

the problem with the 8chan board is that hikki had a separate board for whiners / depression pity parties, and separate boards for interesting topics to discuss. putting them all on the same board is a recipe for disaster because the conversations get choked out by people just there for attention / trolling / screen shotting for reddit / whining / 'advice' / etc.

I may start a new discord-but-with-forced-anonymous chat for hermits / reclusive people instead since it seems there is still no where quite right to go and it's probably time to ditch most of what chan culture has become.

 No.5899

>>5474

> I lurked hikkichan for a long time and posted a couple times. I found this site looking for a replacement. I lurked wizchan too but couldn't post because I've had a girlfriend before.


A lot of people of wiz aren't wizards, they're just folks looking for that sort of community who haven't had luck with women among other things. There are wizards too, but not everyone. Just don't mention you've dated before and you'll be fine.

 No.5921

>>5899
>>5899
>Just don't mention you've dated before and you'll be fine.
Kill yourself.



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 No.5866[Reply]

today was my birthday, all i expected was a "happy birthday" and a hug from the ppl i like (mostly a girl i think is kinda cute), but i've hardly recived it.
please anons, give me happy birthdays and virtual hugs so i can fell a bit better this day
5 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5873

File: 1573184198956.jpg (42.05 KB, 600x451, ce1.jpg)

Happy Birthday! May things start looking up in your life.

 No.5874

Happy birthday, Anon!

 No.5875

>>5866
happy day, anon

 No.5889

Op here, just wanna say I love each and every one of u

 No.5890

>>5866
happy belated birthday, anon

>>5889
we love you too



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