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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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When did dealing with your emotions become so difficult? It seemed like I always dealt with my emotions fine but all of a sudden im smoking a bowl and bullshitting here to run away from real life problems.


I doubt the shift actually came out of the blue. Something bad must have happened to you.


Maybe you've always had issues with it but are unable to scrape by anymore due to increasing expectations? I've always had stress issues but eventually it became too much and I caved inwards


Probably around 3rd year of highschool. I had always been pretty lonley and quiet but I always thought I would find some friends and a gf eventually but by junior year it had fully set in that I would most likely be alone forever, sure I have a couple good friends but they're just as hopeless as I am and I doubt itll last forever, every year it seems we talk less and less, my online friends grow distant as well. Other than my family, which I can hardly relate to at all, It's just a matter of time until I will be truely alone.

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Almost 30, severe social anxiety, hikki/NEET for over 10 years, no college or high school (I was homeschooled), no skills, no real job experience. So sheltered and isolated I can't relate to anyone on even the most basic level.

At this point, I'm thinking a lot about suicide, but I don't want to give up before I've at least made a real try of it.

I desperately need money. That's the main thing that needs to be addressed before I can think of anything else. It's not just for me. It's my family. I live with my grandparents, who have supported me my entire life, and they're in really poor health (my grandfather is currently in the hospital). We're pretty much getting by on their social security benefits and food stamps. I've gotten where I at least leave the house to go to the store and run errands for my grandparents, but other than that, my situation is more or less the same as it has been for the past decade or so. If they're were anything I could do online, that would be ideal, but depending on what it is, I'd even be willing to get a real world job, although there are some caveats there. I can't do any cashier type stuff due to my social anxiety and poor people skills. I still don't know how I'm going to explain to any prospective employer that I'm 30 years old and have pretty much never worked a real job in my life. It would be great if there were some organization that helped shut-ins enter the workforce, but I doubt anything like that exists. If I could just find some way to make even minimum wage, it would be life changing. The most important thing is that it would buy me time, and this is what I need more than anything.

Do you guys have any ideas?
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Nothing has helped me to get employment like knowing someone who works at a place and being friends with them.
The awards I got during highschool, my volunteer work, and the fact that none of my previous bosses had anything bad to say, even the time that I spent utilizing government programs.
I'm a dishwasher now after having been unemployed for years on end and even though I feel and smell like shit often when I'm done at work I wouldn't dare quit because I need the money and don't want to spend another three years unemployed.
Maybe you could try that if you can't socialize that well, the trouble is that it often takes social skills to get friends to get employment.
If you can't do that you might be in trouble.


Have you ever considered becoming a hermit?


You could try:
>affiliate marketing (ex. amazon affiliates)
>dropshipping (sell crap from aliexpress with markup on shopify or the like)

Or you could do some quasi-jobs like delivering papers (sibling made around $100 per week for 110 houses in canada when school was in. In summer it was $16.50 for the same amount of work due to glutton of younglings), shoveling walkways and the like. Whatever you do, you will end up sacrificing something for the money, be it excessive time, strength, dignity (due to your SA), or whatever. Whatever it is, just start. Even if it is as simple as a few menial nickels a day on clickworker. Think of life as a game where you must fight for and win your freedom.

If you are going to play any games, play the one that matters.


I've been considering making counterfeit quarters myself, as another nearly 30 that lives with mildly abusive parents that no longer act nice to keep me there as they realize I won't likely move away now, even though ironically they want me to stay.


>ironically they want me to stay
lol wut? Them letting you live with them means that they're already treating you nicely. Also, don't admit to considering crime on a public forum. God.

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Is anyone here a hikki/neet because of a disability? Mental, physical, whatever.
I've always struggled during my youth due to mood swings + learning disability, and some terrible things happened during my tweens. My mental health was rapidly deteriorating in high school, so I didn't plan ahead for college or anything like that.
I got SSI 2 years ago for my ptsd, anxiety, dysthymia and bpd. I'm able to survive on it and still have money leftover related to my interests, but I feel so useless. Even if I wanted to work, I probably couldn't.
I just want to know if anyone else here has similar struggles. Or if anyone wants to vent about it.
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lol keep projecting


What is it called when bad parents blame their child's "bad behavior" on autism?


desu I've got SAD and dyspraxia, both properly diagnosed, and I think a potential undiagnosed depressive disorder, and I'm neet but not hikki, and I think that they largely are responsible, and while I don't think I'm completely blameless, my SAD inhibits my ability to speak to people which is 99% of the reason you get or don't get a job, and the dyspraxia severely limits the work that I can do properly
I took counselling for about 3 years and have been on CBT for about 6 months, but I don't really know if it's improving me or not, and I'd like to improve, but I'm not certain I can
just venting I suppose


I have some depression but no official disabilit


I also want to know if there is a word for this
t. "autist"

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Has this board ever helped you, or were you only trolled or harassed? Also, should I be doing more to remove destructive users from this board?

Honestly, I hate where this board is going and I want to change something. Whether that's stricter rules, or more trigger-happy per-board bans for hooligans, or shutting down /hikki/ and telling everyone to go somewhere else, or even another board reset, is yet to be decided.

We didn't have a board like this at the beginning of the site; one of the admins added the original NEET board on their own some years back. I wonder if that was a mistake. /hikki/ was an attempt to scrub that board of the problems which are now, again, affecting it. I feel like nothing has really changed.

Is this just a place where depressed people simultaneously insult and validate each other's misery, while keeping each other down? Is it really doing more harm than good? Or, is it just a few bad users being disingenuous and drowning out what could have been a decent atmosphere? I wanted this board to be helpful but I'm not sure if that's what it's doing.

I want to hear what the people here think before I make a decision about the future of /hikki/. But, I can't let things keep going as they are now. Be honest, am I slacking off too much with the bans? Or is the problem with this place deeper than that?
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Alright, I will not destroy /hikki/. However, there seems to be a divide in opinion on whether or not there is anything to be done about it, so I'd like to hear more about that if anyone has specific ideas. Otherwise I'll continue to mostly leave it alone.


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/hikki/ is a paradox in that's it's meant to help people out, while most of the people/userbase are people that seek help themselves
Basically what i'm saying is that's there's little established "i got out of NEETdom" userbase that posts aside from those shit bragging threads that get everyone angry. Even if there's these types of users (there is), they probably just want to hang out at /ot/ rather than /hikki/ because there's not much reason to try to help an userbase that is mostly static and Status Quo-y from what i've seen.

I don't know what can be done to prevent this, but imageboards generally feel depressing to browse, even when you are in the fun areas.
>This board is the meat of ubuu along with ot
True, the activity has always been centered around /hikki/ and /ot/ before the YN:DD craze, because there is simply nothing left to discuss about YN. Yes, we could make that uboachan fangame (pls no) or do a fan update of Dickme Dicki but i think a lot of the userbase is centered and isolated in /hikki/ and /ot/ without any interaction with the rest of this site.
Plus it doesn't help that almost every ancient (named) user has sadly left.


Well I like image boards. Also, any thread made outside of hikki and ot are probably also from regulars. Nobody who has been around for a while sticks to one part of ubuu only. Recent is the only page I check.


Ultimately, if you ask everyone on /hikki/ what they like about it and what it should be about, you're probably going to get a lot of conflicting answers, and there's not a great deal anyone can do about that. I myself just like to talk about the NEET/hikikomori lifestyle, and all it ensues, and with talk about being a keyword here. I don't want any armchair diagnostician trying to 'fix' me with the same old empty platitudes they always give
But that's just my thoughts on the matter


I don't visit much anymore but I've met some of my closest friends from here.

This board has definitely helped me when I was down. There have been some pretty positive threads/posts about people improving their lives in the past which has given me some hope.

It's also nice to read about others in similar positions to your own and see how they are dealing with it.

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To be hikkikomori is one of the highest forms of hedonism and selfishness. Especially if you rely on parents or flatmates for financial aid.

Some might contest that being a shut-in need isn't a conscious choice, that it's a result of environmental circumstances and mental illness, yet I still see people here who romanticise the lifestyle.

For a good few years, I have followed the culture of this board and others like it. I have seen the various IRC channels, discords and skype groups that have originated from this place, and I have come to the conclusion that this board ultimately promotes an anti-social attitude instead of discouraging and helping people abstain from it.

Most of you are lazy and are attempting to rationalise a piggish lifestyle.

Whaddaya think?
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I kove how the guy snaps with the caps and how he barely manages to write coherent sentences, then calls us a laughing stock.


Just because Asperger's is not in the DSM anymore, does not mean it is not a valid disorder. As research progresses symptoms for disorders get reevaluated and if necessary, as in the case of Asperger's, changed.

Asperger's now falls under Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and is more closely related to Social Communication Disorder (SCC). From what I understand, SCC is the more accurate diagnosis for those with symptoms of Asperger's in previous versions of the DSM, but since the classification is so new, there is not as much funding (think NEETbux) to people with that diagnosis, so they get diagnosed with Autism.

So yea, it's not right for you to ignore someone's diagnosis as their reason for being hiking just because the disorder isn't in the DSM. Things are alot more complicated than that.



> So yea, it's not right for you to ignore someone's diagnosis as their reason for being hiking just because the disorder isn't in the DSM. Things are alot more complicated than that.

That should be "reason for being hikki"


Okay, fine. I realized that myself after making that post, but that split hair does not invalidate the rest of my post.


AutismSpeaks is cancer. Try researching harder before spewing white noise. See ASAN for starters.

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What are your MBTI types, /hikki/ ?

I recommend taking a few different tests and understanding what each letter means. I'm also guessing that most people here are INxx

Some people discredit MBTI, but I think if you treat it a a rough guideline, it can offer some good insights to yourself and others.

INTP wasted-potential masterrace reporting in
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This project is going to fail unless a miracle occurs


>A large and complicated narrative with a disregard for the audience's sentiments, as well as a subtle drive to antagonize the reader whenever possible.
That sounds really obnoxious and unreadable. It takes a highly skilled writer to both completely neglect giving readers what they want while still keeping their interest and attention. If you're trying to go for the Tokyo Ghoul or Game of Thrones effect, maybe try something more simple first?


See, nothing in that whole "grimdark" family group ever really got to where I wanted it to go. Even GRRM disappointed me at times. I'm really struggling to mix aggression with appeal and a sense of rationality, I want to capture a GG Allin concert in prose fiction.
You're right about the skill level something like this will require. My voice as a writer has served me well so far, but worldbuilding and narrative structure, they have always fought with me. I've got the general storyline marked out start to finish, but the meat between the setpiece moments is going to be tricky.
Whatever happens, I'm not afraid of rewriting. I could keep this on the desk for ten years if need be.


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>GG Allin concert in prose fiction.
I've got some pretty good ideas. Give all of the characters sick, full body, Asian style tats. Make everybody have long, philosophical monologues about anarchism every three pages. Throw in gratuitous, yet still inhibited depictions of violence. Like, you have dead hobos and guys whose heads have been shot, but you can't have stripped naked little girls who have been sawed in half because that's too fucked up. Maybe throw in lots of drugs. The characters should definitely live in a really dirty, ugly city. Bonus points for making it a dystopia novel. Sorry if I came off as disparaging your concept, but those are the sorts of vibes you're giving me. Some more specific details would be nice.


"It must have been a lonely place he lived in, because for every indulgence there was something else he denied himself as a means to the end. He accomplished what he did right here in our faces, in real time, with little help from any tool outside his own mind. These things cannot be denied. Could we have learned more from him if he was still around? Did we learn anything at all? Hope we meet again."
- Joe Coughlin, GG Allin biographer

I look at his concerts as more than a shocking punk show. The uncertainty, the fear, the schafenfreude, the sense of true freedom that permeated the hall for the duration of his performances. The audience and the bystanders were brought to the pinnacle of punk stage invasion. Who's going to run away? Who's going to be his victim? Who's going to riot? And why? It's a very metamodernist before metamodernism existed kind of experience.
Maybe I should try again. To see all the different kinds of rational people that enter an extreme situation, their reasons, and then watch how they behave once they're in the thick of it, this is what excites me. The danger and the negative thrill shape and flavor the experience, with the root of everything not being a catalyst or a demiurge, but still in the fight and making the waves that will drown it out.
The medium of live music has failed to capture the human experience this well, before and after GG's time. I see the same problem with prose fiction. Proust, GRRM, Trumbo, Mailer, Hill, Fitzgerald, Mann, they have had their successes, but they never even came close to what this medium can acheive. I'm done looking for someone to have done it right. Now I'm going to do it myself.

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How do you deal with the isolation of this lifestyle? When I have nobody to talk to online I lose all motivation to enjoy myself, and the life is basically sucked out of me
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I'll get to it tomorrow.


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Ok. I have been worn out from wörk wörk wörk anyways so take your time.


Can't you loser exchange E-Mails or something?


lol why do you care?


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Because I told him that he couldn't play with us

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My friend was making depressive comments and talking about suicide from over three years ago. We thought it was him trying to get attention, but over time he became more and more serious, until I realized that it wasn't an act. Many of the people who surround him still treat it like he's pretending, but exam season is coming in, and the stress and pessimism is really getting to him. He's recently been talking about staying home because he feels ill, but when he's at home, he plays games until he gets depressed about how much time he's wasted. His parents pressure him about grades, and he's grown an inferiority complex and it's all slowly knawing away at him.
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That't mornic. Objects can be refurbished and people are in way as simplistic as onjects.


>are in no way as simplistic as objects


what a mornic thing to say


My keyboard isn't working properly right now. That doesn't change the fact that you are an idiot for thinking that people work in the same way as objects.


I am not the poster you were debating, you morn

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Who here has achieved monk-tier hikkidom?
>i have made myself to be a walking wikipedia
>started working out and actually developed muscle
>my level of doucheness has risen to considerable levels
>Turns out looking down on people cures some of the anxiety
I still dont leave my house though, mainly because i dont have reasons to do so, i lost all my "friends" a long time ago and calling them to hang out now would be awkward (i dont even have money to go drinking) and i still get anxious as fuck when im outside (i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder)
And getting a job still looks impossible


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i forgot to add
>i have elevated my level of english to near native status (expressing myself is still difficult because i dont speak too much with people)
>on my way to learn japanese (those untranslated eroges wont stay out of my reach)


Monk tier hikki-dom is becoming a literal hermit. Come back when you farm your own food, produce your own clothing and transcend mortal desires.


>started working out and actually developed muscle
stopped reading right there


>he got past "monk-tier hikkidom"

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I was thinking about Youtubers, Twitch streamers and people who get paid for basically being on the internet and doing something that a monkey could.
These people could easily qualify as NEET, right? They spend up to 8 hours or more a day playing videogames or vlogging or something and most of their income comes from their fans.
Yet nobody really bats an eye at them other than the occasional angry dude that gets way too bent out of shape over people getting money from fans rather than employers. But with NEETs there's a higher level of stigma, telling them they're parasites and that they need to work on themselves and conform. Is the difference really as subtle as simply getting money? Or providing a service, even if it has little to no effect on society and the person's community?
What makes the difference in the way a NEET and someone who turns their hobby and cult of personality into a "job"?
Also have any NEETs here attempted this? Would you?
Is it viable? etc etc
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people like us could never do the same because we lack charisma and personality. All those popular people on youtube are sociable and likable and if you are a zombie nobody would want to listen to the shit you have to say. Then also most popular youtubers have their own style and personality. SOmething that makes them unique and likable.

I noticed there are increasingly retarded people who would rather watch other people playing videogames than playing them themselves. I am also disgusted by those let's play videos. Whenever I get stuck in a game and watch for a walkthrough I get those trashy let's plays suggested instead. The ultimate perversion is people trying to monetize their spiritual diarrhea.


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Slightly off topic, but how does one gain charisma? Conversations? Small talk? Books?
Being born with it can't be the only way.


How to win friends and influence people is a pretty popular book on the subject. Charism is mostly a lack of inhibition when talking to others, which some people are born with and others have to practice.


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>I noticed there are increasingly retarded people who would rather watch other people playing videogames than playing them themselves.

It just feels less lonely that way, anon


It's kinda the art of not giving a fuck. When people stress you out, you don't say what you want to say, you don't present yourself naturally (which is very off-putting), and the unpleasantness of your situation gets communicated so you can come off negatively.
Don't just be yourself, be yourself and say fuck it

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