/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>7196
OP here. Thank you for recommending this one- I'm Izumi's age and work part time, so a lot of chapters hit close to home.

>>7184
I'll check it out when possible. The art style looks interesting.

>>7322
Read this years ago. It's neat to see that other people are enjoying it. I remember it started out as a comic on pixiv before Kabi-san was able to publish the manga- an audience gave her the inspiration to work commercially.

New recommendation: Alter Ego

An app by Caramel Column about psychoanalysis. You are a wanderer searching for aspects of your personality, which the owner of a library, Es, helps you recover. The interpretations are surprisingly insightful, and the game has you learn about different forms of literature as well, if you're looking for new books to read. It has multiple endings and is free to download.

>>7167
I think that Hachiman Hikigaya from OreGairu is a kinda relatable character for me. He's not a hikki but his mindset is relatable.
Since I grew up in a poor family with divorced parents in a small rural dying village I always was kinda cynical and had extreme trust issues. I could never really connect to the people in school who all came from distant citys and knew each other.

>>7170
Tomoko was also interesting but I never really wanted to be popular. I always thought that wanting to be the center of attention or chasing after girls is kinda pathetic. I just wanted to have fun with my bros.

>>7322
This pic is interesting. As a kid it was completly normal for me to shower only once a week. I also dont had that much clothes, I changed them also only once per week. Funnily since I became a NEET I actually have the time to shower every day and buy new clothes.

>>7632
When I recommended Chi no Wadachi earlier in this thread, it was for similar reasons. It's interesting that people are recommending stories about characters that don't quite fall under the definition of full NEET here.

Seichii Osabe, the protagonist, ends up living as a recluse when he reaches adulthood, working a deadend job, with no close relationships or people to rely on but himself. This is in part due to his mother, Seiko, who abused Seiichi as a child and ruined his life, to the point where he hallucinates about her nearly twenty years later. The manga has heavy subject material, but worth checking out if you read Aku no Hana/The Flowers of Evil. It's still ongoing, to my knowledge.

Irisu Syndrome

A puzzle game made in Ren'py. It's about four college students who take a vacation on an island, but start disappearing overnight.

The main character, Irisu, uses the shape puzzle as a coping mechanism, imagining it to pass the time.

As you play, check the files. They change depending on the ending you get, similar to DDLC. Earning 40k points unlocks a special mode called Metsu.

Download + english patch: https://cheerfultomboy.wordpress.com/irisu/

>>7623
>>7624

Thanks for responding. It's kind of a relief to know I'm not alone there.

I wish I could stop thinking about this- unfortunately, I tend to have intrusive thoughts that revolve around it.

Hey Anon, i know you’re still with us even after only 30 days…. but you’re not alone

Please hear me out. You’re not alone out there. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for years, while I have made progress in recovering over the past 3 years, it’s still tough. I never figured out what I wanted to do in life, I never liked the education system here in the US so I saw no point in attending university either.

I graduated from hs almost 6 years ago and I’ve felt lost since, it’s what I kept telling myself. Sure I was able to make some money and everything, but I felt empty, I felt repulsed by myself because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in this life.

I still keep in contact with some friends and was introduced to new people through them, but god I feel embarrassed being with them sometimes because of my situation. Sometimes I don’t see them for months at a time, yet they welcome me with open arms every time. I still live with my parents of course, it’s normal in most cultures worldwide to do so so I’m really grateful that they’ve helped support me.

Can I be able to live independently? i don’t know, but i’m open to getting my own place one day if i can be able to afford it.

It was a few months ago where I decided I should do something more and figure out something…a stable income in a remote position is all I’m looking for.

I honestly do like being outside and being social when I can. I went to the beach today and walking down the path and seeing the people there make me realize how much I really do love the world and my life in general. My judgment was so clouded because of my negative thought patterns about myself that going out and looking at the world in this bigger picture really helps me.

I hope you’re doing good anon and I hope your situation improves. I used to hang around other hikki/neet servers on discord, but idk what happened to a lot of the people there.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7656
I don't know what else to say, but sincerely: thank you for this, anon. I appreciate hearing about your situation and wish you the best of luck. I apologize if the way I word this post is awkward; not great at expressing my feelings through text. Feels like people don't respond to my posts as a result.

You're correct- I'm still here after thirty days. Back in 2016, the summer after graduating, I got into Yume Nikki. That lead down a rabbit hole where I started playing the fangames: Yume 2kki first, then .flow, and Miserere. I liked 2kki the most- it was on a larger scale and more difficult to play, but I really loved what uboachan did with it. After that, I started participating in different boards. There was one thread in which I recieved harassment, and it made me not want to go on here much- this happened a year before YNDD came out. To be honest, the controversy surrounding its release contributed to that. I enjoyed playing the remake, but never voiced it because people here got incensed over basic discussion. Guess I can talk about it now that's died down.

>>7657
I stopped going on ubuu for a few years, and tried to finish college while distancing myself from drama. That worked out for the most part. It helped me to focus on what's important, and do things I enjoyed more often: reading, drawing, listening to music. Elsewhere, I create artwork and write stories (picrel). YN inspired me to make my own game, as well- I'm planning to release an RPG horror title in the future, hopefully when I find steady income.

You can see some of my other inspirations in this recommendation thread: >>>/hikki/7167

I'm the OP- if anyone here wants to share media they like but is nervous to do that, feel free to contribute. Maybe you'll find a new series you like.

>>7658
What you said resonated with me. I've been feeling empty, in the current job I work (retail) and at home. People are so far away, like everyone's vanished. But it's important to try, just as it's important to appreciate the little things in life. For the longest time, I wasn't able to see that.

To become independent would be an amazing thing. On some level, I still feel like I'll never be able to achieve that, much less find roommates. Whenever I've applied to full-time positions I've gotten rejection letters saying I need more experience. However, I had an interview over the phone last week, so hopefully that will lead to further employment. I'm trying to spend more time with friends and family as well, even if it's just on discord.

As for where the hikki/neets went, they probably moved on with their lives to do other things, or weren't able to find happiness. Those spaces are dead nowdays, with sporadic activity. Users here seem to be participating on and off.

Same to you, anon. Please take care.

>>6656
>Sometimes what people say can be overwhelming, and responding can be difficult. I know that I struggled with that before. Especially when people say a bunch of truly horrible things, I can struggle to even know how to react appropriately. I'm sure that I made other people feel the same in the past. I could tell.
I relate and really feel what you're saying since this just happened to me yesterday. I tried to interact with people outside of what I'd usually browse, on an 8gag spinoff to see if it was any good, but they were pretty hostile. Maybe it was because I tried to make a random rambling post to fit in, but yeah I feel like I am just failing really hard at trying to branch out because deep inside most people on imageboards look down on people who aren't the regular kind that they expect. I wish I understood people, even those who I think would get me. Honestly I wish there was a better alternative besides imageboards but there just isn't.

>person asks something
>I and another person reply
>OP only talks to the other person
sounds like real life.

>>6693
Seems that way. I can only relate to a few people in boards like this and for the most part that's about it because I guess I'm too weird, but it never goes beyond that because leaving contact information at all feels like pressuring people too much, so I have never done it.

>>6693
>I wish I understood people, even those who I think would get me

Relate to this a lot. I think that's what makes finding places I can interact in so special for me, though: I feel somewhat more understood, and like I can understand more. Maybe it's just because of the similar pains we find ourselves going through that many of us find boards like this more welcoming.

>>6709
I tend to get worked up about this, as well. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if the way I speak/type makes me seem like either a stuffy arsehole who is impossible to talk to, or just a total retard, even if the actual content of what I say is the same as another person.

I wish hikkichan still existed so you could regularly get replies

though I'd want it to be a hard vetted site so people don't just come in and pretend

This is a really good idea, thankyou. I'll email you if I have the motivation soon!

>>6287
u still doing this?

leech off some other group of people

OP here. Sorry, I'm new to forums so I dunno the etiquette and how to format yet.

>>7543
I did join organizations in my university. Unfortunately, we're still mostly on online classes so I haven't had the opportunity to meet new people yet. The orgs have their own discord servers, but again, I'm mostly a lurker and I don't know how to approach people digitally either.

>It's hard to be friends with someone if you always look down on them or find a reason not to like them. People are more than their outward appearance.
Admittedly, I wrote the original post when I was in a bitter mood. I know that there's more to people than outward impressions, and that I gotta lighten up. Still, I've been with some of my classmates for years now, and I was not clicking with their personalities. Some of them are just generally unlikeable and complain a lot— and I worry that those traits rubbed on me 'cause I'm not any better.

>>7561
Honestly don't worry about the formatting too much. I used to get on anons for it until I saw many 4chan archives from 2003-5 that were filled with anons reddit spacing, using tumblr grammar before tumblr existed, and using lolspeak. In other words, anons have formatted and talked in a myriad of ways for many years and the collective beatings we give each other are more to just collectively beat each other than to actually maintain any culture. It's somewhat taboo for me to be explaining all this upfront, anons are generally supposed to learn through the aforementioned beatings, but I like this place and find it more constructive to explain on smaller boards.
That said, posts are generally considered more readable when formatted without a space inbetween paragraphs, opting instead to just hit enter and type new paragraphs on the immediate next line. Grammar doesn't matter much, but at least using capital letters at the start of a sentence and using periods is generally appreciated too.

/\ The paragraphs above follows readability formatting convention. I've noticed that sometimes spaces between large paragraphs when there are a lot of paragraphs are tolerated depending on the board too. Some boards will call this "reddit spacing." Notice how my first two paragraphs don't have a space between them but this one does. Below I will provide an example of what I personally consider to be true reddit spacing, this is actually kind of obnoxious in my view, but board culture too has embraced it in various points of its own history. In terms of vernacular, you will pick up what words mean and what normal words to replace with board culture synonyms overtime.

im writin dis 2 demonstrate teh most obnoxious form ov formattin

in da 2000s dis wuz wai MOAR common

ins't dis kind ov annoyin?

imagine readin it on CRT ( ◕▿◕ )

(Secretly though, I love old emoticons, and am totally fine with them, this board seems to be too sometimes.)

>>7562
I didn't know that spacing paragraphs was called reddit formatting. I always did that when the adjacent paragraphs weren't related, because it's just easier to read.

Fuck sticking to conventions decided by other people, though. Unless it's extremely obnoxious (as you point out), or just plain unreadable because of poor use of punctuation, anything is fine, really.

>>7532
I would suggest just sticking to a general chat rather than trying to befriend people individually. Those that like you will eventually interact with you more, and if you also feel someone is interesting, you should definitely interact with them if that's what you want. There's also no pressure to "keep a conversation appealing" or worrying about what to say, etc. Because you're not the person who drives the conversation in the first place. Just think of it as throwing some words at the wind.
I used to have the lurker syndrome like you, but my (rare) contributions were usually appreciated by a few people, who eventually became close friends. I have to admit that they were more ongoing / not as timid as I was, which helped as they typically initiated the interactions, but I don't see why you shouldn't find similar people.

Now, this is all anecdotal (and therefore not a magic solution that works for everyone), but please do consider just trying even if you don't feel comfortable / you're nervous to say what you think. Especially on the internet, most people just spout random shit, so in the worst case, people will not really think too deeply about what you say, and in the best case, you might find similar-minded buddies.

Can I offer some advice as an extroverted autistic?

How i've always made friends is by finding common ground. Where i'm from, it's not unusual to talk to strangers especially if something happened, such as a late bus, or a shit class. It's often just small talk and a shared laugh but if you play your cards right and have enough time, you might just be able to introduce yourself to whoever you're talking with.
Met one of my closest friends because i was reading jojo's bizarre adventure in class and they asked about it (i admit i went on a bit of an autistic rant about it, but it paid off)

finding common ground is key to having a really good topic of conversation, so if you want to make some close friends, seek out places oriented around your interests. You don't have to be totally active in them, just shoot a 'hello chat; gif or something once in a while and you'll eventually strike up a convo

>I just feel like every person I meet is temporary, hence why I don't really put in much effort into long-lasting relationships.
Unfortunately that is the nature of friendships. eventually, they will fade. However, i also think that's what makes friendships so good: limited time. Opening yourself up and making memories before everything fades is what makes them so precious.

You are almost definitely going to have to open up and start actively seeking them out, like when you were in your possibly manic state, but trust me, the self pity is worth the connection times a thousand.

I imagine seeking out a much more outgoing person as a friend could work: as one of those people we often take the more introverted ones under our wing. I was always the loud and slightly obnoxious one out of my friend group of depressed autistics

I hope things get easier for you anon!

>>7562
This is really informative, thanks! I generally just try breaking up my thoughts into multiple paragraphs to avoid big blocks of text. Still adjusting to board culture, especially with all the slang and vernacular. Might commit a faux pas, but I'll probably learn as I go.

>>7563
>I would suggest just sticking to a general chat rather than trying to befriend people individually.
Yeahhh, this definitely seems like the way to go for me. If New Year's resolutions carry any meaning, I'm setting out to stop lurking, go out there and just say stuff that interests me in the hopes I attract similar-minded people. Initiating conversations are hard for me, and I guess there is the major fear of being ignored. Probably need to just suck it up and get used to it.

>>7564
Thanks for the advice! I can't really tolerate going outside meeting people yet, so maybe I'll just make baby steps with interacting in group chats. I wish I can make another extroverted friend to at least balance my personality out. All my close friends are either far away or too busy, so it's just me with my introverted self recently.

>>2799
Boring
I think a big part of my depression is never using my brain

>>7464
I think I relate to this. I'm not an awkward person and I like to think I'm pretty normal, but what gets me are the days where I'm unproductive, like today. I was gonna study for this big test I have coming up, but I also enjoy working on my car a lot. It's very therapeutic to sit outside, put on some tunes and just proceed to fuck around with my project car. Today, however, I did neither of those things and I feel like shit because of it. I woke up at 8am today with motivation to really get shit done, but it's now just past 8pm and I'm thinking of all the hours wasted watching youtube videos and bullshitting when I could've studied for just an hour and it would've meant something and then maybe I'd feel okay to go work on my car. Fuck man just thinking about this kinda sucks, but tomorrow, even with much less free time during the day, I'm gonna tackle both those things and more. I can feel it

I've been a hikkineet since 2018(dropped out) and it's the same, painfully boring cycle everyday. Most of my days are spent rotting inside my room, browsing the internet, forcing myself to do hobbies I once enjoyed and now cannot stand, overspend neetbux, overeat or undereat and sleeping or not sleeping at all .
Many times I did try to get my life in order, attend online job-search course, land a job and then snap under pressure a day later. Fired. I cannot remember the month at all.

mostly just browsing the web, listening to music and drinking a lot. it's different when mental issues play up but overall the same. nothing to do…

>>2799
wake up, phone for maybe half an hour, get up and set the stove, talk to roommate, make breakfast. do chores and clean house until spotless. return to room and use pc: check emails and do other important tasks first; then enter web browsing/lazy mode. usually i watch a few episodes of anime or read some manga or get off the pc and read an actual book. if i've got inspiration I'll usually tackle a bigger project around this time and go at it for a few hours (something creative etc..) but im usually out of steam to try too hard at anything in the afternoon. twice a week i'll have psychotherapy in the early evening. then it's dinner, maybe a little more fooling around on the computer, and set stove again, now it's bedtime. usually if i'm gonna take a bath i do it right before bed when the house is very quiet, it helps me sleep best.
really I can't believe how well I've managed to maintain this lifestyle recently considering that I have absolutely no income. it's all emergency funding that i'm getting from welfare programs + money I owe my landlord. but i'm so beyond caring I guess. when it's time to go homeless again I'll just vanish. but god, having a bathtub and a bed and heat is a hell of a lot better then being outside..

i will forever be your most utmost servant nantaimori




ishikawa

I have no real life or online friends and am incredibly grateful for my position. Putting up with other people induces unnecessary suffering (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma). Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I assume that it works both ways: The people who are more likely to have friends tend to be more hive minded because they can find people who they can relate to in the first place, and in turn, interacting with others who are laymen makes one gradually become more mainstream/conformist because of the diffusion of those commonplace memes.

>>7019
>Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I believe it's related to the automaton like behavior of most people. People absorb input from their environment, filter it through their ego and then react and form beliefs based on that data. If a person discovers this pattern, the environment loses its control over the mind and the true self regains its power.
Having no friends means less input from the world, but thanks to the Internet, it doesn't really make much of a difference these days, as friendless individuals are constantly subjected to outside influences via the Internet.

I wish I could give all of you a hug, seriously
I've been trying to hug my dad at least once each day
Anyways if anyone needs someone to talk to
jay@greenmail.net
and we could be penpals
I've been looking at a lot of philosophy lately

being a hikkineet is like an introverted psychopath thing

>>7478
da hell did you do boy god damn

>>7448
Is it easier to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend, or are other men just as selective in who they prefer?

holy shit I've been looking for a thread like this. I'm obsessing over the past. I worry that even if i become the president or something crazy like that, people will find out about my past and destroy all that I will have accomplished up to that point. This is why I have no ambition.

Don't really have it in me to write anything long-winded at the moment, but I struggle with daily things normal people find effortless and it sucks, especially at my age. I've only kind of learned to conceal it and play it cool, but this base incompetence follows me around no matter where I go it seems like.

Embarrassment is a huge set off for me. Spent a lot of my childhood as a non masking autistic and I ended up getting in a lot of shit situations because people could point at me and say ‘yep that’s definitely an autistic.

must’ve been in like fourth grade when I realised I had forgotten one day that it was own clothes day (uniformed school lel) and everyone else had come in their clothes while I was in my uniform. Ended up having a huge meltdown in the street because of my embarrassment, got stared at loads.
Own clothes days have set me off ever since, I even broke down in twelfth grade when I realised I had done it again and I had to go home because I was crying so much.

I still don’t know how to deal with it, since embarrassment kind of comes pre packaged with being autistic in such a society. Getting jeered at, stared at, wondering why you’re so different.

Embarrassments just never been my favorite feeling in the world

>>1505
>I'm still not happy
There's some root problem you're not adressing.

>>6529
>The problem isn't her, it's your job. Find a way to work less so you have more time to yourself.

He did say best case scenario is become neet and keep GF rather than NEET and drop GF or have or NEET and no GF

>>6559
I felt the need to reiterate I guess because other posters were telling him to drop his girlfriend and I think this is a bad idea.

>>1505
Had this life and was not happy, but returning to NEET life isnt the answer

>>6529
bad advice

Embarrassment and shame have plagued me all my life, and I'm 31 now and still have trouble dealing with those feelings. I'm currently working on it with a psychotherapist. In my case, the embarrassment itself is relatively benign, the issue is just that it tends to lead me to negative thoughts about myself, such as "I'm stupid and fundamentally defective", which cause me to engage in harmful activities. Those thoughts are often irrational. The therapist has presented me with a sort of mental framework for analysing these thoughts and accompanying feelings, as well as the actions that trigger them. It's very useful to me. I'm still working on getting into a habit of using it. It has me specify the action that happened, the beliefs that arose in my head as a result, the changes in my physical condition (bodily responses to emotions), and the consequences of all the beforementioned, i.e. how I reacted. Then, I can confront my beliefs if they are irrational, and examine my reaction. It's a very versatile tool for introspection.

>>7245
Been embarrassed so many times that I don't think it would affect me anymore

If it's small I just kind of make it a joke and that usually makes it bearable
The ones I can't do that on are usually so bad that I just kind of wait for it to pass and just accept the outcomes

Some years ago, I bought my first ever car. I had only recently learned to drive, and I wasn't good at it - I'm always slow to learn new things. The truth was that I was really really insecure about my driving - I was having nightmares frequently about being forced to drive on dangerous roads because of emergency situations.

On the test drive, with the seller in the passenger seat, I almost got into an accident when I tried to forcefully merge into a busy lane. I swerved out of the way of a car at the last split-second and ended up being forced to take the highway out of town. We sat there in silence. Eventually we turned around and headed back, and he tried to play it off like nothing had happened, so I followed suit. I told him the car seemed good, and we scheduled to meet later for the actual purchase at a garage.

I went home and locked my door behind me, went into my bedroom, locked my bedroom door behind me, and had the most intense panic attack of my life where the moment of the car I was merging into looming closer played on repeat for about 3 or 4 hours until I passed out. I woke up later and continued to freak out some more, and then I was berating myself about how I can't do any normal thing correctly. During that moment I was like "wait - I had a close call, not even a real accident, and it's completely debilitating me. I can't live like that. I really can't. I need to get over this immediately." Somehow, that worked.

>7287
For me, it's somewhat similar. I think about everything negatively, and it's hard for me to imagine how I want to be or want to feel, but easy for me to imagine what I would consider awful or disapprove of. I focus mostly on the consequences of those feelings.

"Is this useful to me? What is this feeling actually doing to me, for me? What is my plan? If I intend to keep trying, to live and grow, then I should hold myself back only the minimum necessary amount."

That helps me see it as irrational, as not 'right', and that gives me a huge boost in my ability to move on from it. It will still haunt me somewhat, but somehow I'll know "I can get over this - eventually." That's what was sort of forced into place by that driving incident - my embarrassment and the subsequent response to it was so severe that even in the middle of the panic attack I realized how absurd it was.

>>7505

What you did after you came home resonate a lot with what I would like to do once I remember some cringe moments in my past.