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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

File: 1537567052662.jpg (111.99 KB, 1080x1350, 16434.jpg)

 No.5103[Reply]

Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no fuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
22 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5203

>>5202
Who specifically do you think could have done those things to them?

 No.5204

>>5103
family and friends can be abusive in many different ways, one way is gaslighting, which is trying to convince someone that they're crazy or have problems, which can mess with someone's self esteem and confidence and sense of self

learned helplessness is when you're convinced that you're stuck in your situation and there's nothing you can do about it, which can happen as a result of bullying, abuse, maladaptive learning, etc.

people don't exist in complete isolation, they are a product of their environment and relationships/interactions with people

 No.5210

>>5202
Forgive me I didn't understand you before, you might as well be right.

 No.5254

File: 1541682885501.jpg (64.77 KB, 398x495, IMG_0759.JPG)

I was already born damaged. Mood disorder, depression, severe anxiety, and not really bright. It took me years after going through multiple traumas to fix myself. I learned to mimic others behaviors in social settings so I wouldn't look like a freak having flashbacks and panic attacks in public.
When I hit junior year in high school, I had a crush on a teacher. He knew, and took advantage of it by slowly grooming me daily. Treats, private lessons, random spurts of affection and heavy petting.
When I graduated, he got fired. I had no real plans besides maybe getting into the art field. He promised me a future, that he'd propose and we'd grow old together. I fell for it. I relied on him heavily for a year. Having purpose felt good, having support felt good. They were things I haven't had or felt in a very, very, very long time if even at all.
Then he got worse. He did a lot of fucked up things, blamed it on me and left. He came back after a week or so for some ego stroking, got a new job and ghostsd me for good.
In a way, I guess I'm kind of blaming him for everything but it's really my fault. I shouldn't have fallen for fake love and I should have known better than to trust others after my first trauma. I don't have any purpose anymore and I've been sitting around idly doing nothing.
Even if I wanted to I can't do anything.

 No.5255

It's bad enough when your own life starts to fall apart, but then somehow there's always some sort of genius to take advantage of it. I guess humans are nothing but predators after all. So much for good doctor Peterson's views.



File: 1539995547142.png (303 B, 200x200, square.png)

 No.5187[Reply]

man i just don't like people.

i am not attracted to anyone.

at all.

no one.

not because of their bodies.

but because of people's personalities.

people are incredibly manipulative all the time

man that's just it.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5211

>>5196
imagine being so much of a bitter, mopey loser that attacking people on the internet for no reason is a good use of your time

 No.5212

>>5211
Don't you notice the irony on commenting something like that in this kind of thread?

 No.5214

>>5211
>attacking
lol
>no reason
You couldn't even be bothered to put an actual image. Fuck off newfag.

 No.5216


 No.5251

I can't stop thinking people want to harm or kill me, help



File: 1540001351970.jpg (118.33 KB, 679x923, nhk.jpg)

 No.5194[Reply]

This thread is for posting when you did something that was uncomfortable for you, but still important to do. It's also for encouraging other people who are getting out of their comfort zone too.

If you're NEET/hikki, I think part of the issue is having a small comfort zone and sticking to what's in that. So let's try to change that.

Tonight, I went to the city today to network with some people. We made plans in advance online and met up in person. Met some new people and talked about work, LinkedIn, mentoring, and stuff like that. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Even though I was super nervous, I still went, and I tried to talk with the other people. I wasn't good at it, but you gotta start somewhere. I will be seeing them again next week.

What about you? What have you done lately, or what are you planning on doing that is outside your comfort zone?
2 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5201

>>5200
Rehearsal for what?

 No.5205

>>5199
Better than not waking up, right? Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed, but I do anyway.
>>5200
Even if someone is making fun of you, then their opinion isn't worth paying attention to. You don't need to let negative people influence your life. It says more about their immaturity than you. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you.

But as a general rule of thumb, if someone is mean to you, don't think that you're in the wrong. If they're being mean, that's on them.

Hope your rehearsal go well.

 No.5206

>>5201
We are practicing and composing songs. I like to make music and people are even encouraging me. Social anxiety and agoraphobia are however ruining the fun.

>>5205
Thank you.

 No.5233

File: 1540288821189.jpg (181.43 KB, 700x700, a1319335107_5.jpg)

Today, I realised I don't have much savings left, so I began searching for a job. It will be hard, since I am in the middle of my twenties, but I still need a source of income, even if I attend the job I hate. And I dislike working among people, too, so there will be a lot of pressure on me. Don't want to.

Also, while I'm at it, I put my gaming consoles away, studying music theory and the process of making ambient music instead.

There is a circle of pain around my head: it's stress.

I don't know how I would talk during a job interview.

As soon as I amass some money, say, to support myself for three-four years, I'll return to my life of NEET - to anime, games and sleeping.

But maybe I need to force myself. Maybe I need to overextend and make a career, and in fifteen years I would amass a fortune so large I could live the rest of my days on it, and also make profit from investments. Although I will be old at that point.

Don't know what to do, but I don't have neetbux or a supportive family, so I must make my own living.

When I was working at a certain bank a year ago, the stress levels were so high I cried in my pillow every week. That said, before attending said work, I was cured from clinical depression. Even though I was cured, it is still hard for me to communicate and make choices.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.5238

I had a practice interview at my college (they help people with job search, resumes, etc) and they basically said I have poor communication skills. Welp. Not feeling too confident about my real interview later this week.



File: 1538328380897.jpg (101.66 KB, 1280x720, cat.jpg)

 No.5135[Reply]

I'm a college student and I'm looking for work. I've lived a lot of my life as a shut-in, so I feel developmentally stunted in some ways. I guess people are impressed enough with my technical skills and software portfolio because I manage to get a decent number of interviews, but I haven't gotten hired for something related to the field I want to be in. I've gotten hired for shitty dead-end jobs in the past, but they have lower standards.

Basically, I think my social anxiety and awkwardness are holding me back. Even though my STEM education is good, people are put off by how awkward I am, so then they choose other applicants who are more confident, charismatic, and generally socially adept. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever hire me for a good job and I'll be doomed to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.

Any tips for getting better at socialization and job interviews?
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5147

>>5146 havent read the rest of the thread so being cautious here: but are you including the experience you had at these "dead end jobs?" whatever it is, however minor, if theres something you can take away from them. even if its just "friendly with customers" however basic it might come off as to you, it could help?

 No.5149

>>5147
actually never mind, the thread was shorter than i initially thought. sorry about that. Honestly the best advice i have for you is listen to what people tell you, and to keep truckin'

 No.5151

>>5146
>Like what, work at a grocery store?

You don't have to go to the other end of the extremes, there should be much more than that. I don't know where you live, and how is society and opportunities there, but, for example, you could be the IT guy/sysadmin of a small company or something.

>coworkers suck no matter where you go


Not necessarily. And again, within a hardcore software development company with braindead management, killer deadlines and never-ending workdays, the pressure is far more than it should be, which leads to even the nicer people behaving like shit most of the time. Let alone the ones who already have shit personalities to begin with…

>Also I gave out about 15 resumes at a job fair recently.


Nice work! So you're going somewhere already.

 No.5152

For me it's always the other way around. I can easily fake it during an interview, but after getting the job and working for a couple of weeks it becomes harder and harder to keep up the facade, to hide how much social situations stress me out. People get mad, if you hide your personality and won't let them get a grip on you.

Working in IT means teamwork all the time, especially in the beginning, when you have to frequent other people for help. Therefore it is wiser to choose the nice average guy who fits in rather than the edgy smart guy who lowers work ethics for all colleagues. Seems reasonable to me.

 No.5169

OP here. I landed some interviews and I'm doing more networking. Also, fun fact: if you have disabilities such as physical or mental health problems, there are government programs that can help you get a job. So far, all the interviews I have scheduled are for regular jobs, not for people who are disabled.

But let's say you're a typical hikki or NEET or whatever. If you talk to the right social services offices, they can help you find a work despite the fact that you have problems.

It's not either regular work or being a NEET. There are places out there that hire people who have problems. I am trying the traditional route first, but if that doesn't work, I know of a program that will help people like me get hired despite having mental issues.

There are also TECHNICALLY anti-discrimination laws that prevent people from barring you from employment based on disabilities, but it's bullshit and I doubt employers actually follow it. But the thing about some government programs is that they work with employers that are actively looking for disabled people to hire.



File: 1539101129197.jpg (184.04 KB, 480x640, traumateam_devfeaturette3_….jpg)

 No.5159[Reply]

Assuming there's not a general for this, I'd like some advice. A bit off topic maybe?

Basically I've had a rough 4 hours when I went into the ER yesterday for back pains, and learned I had a 1.3 millimeter kidney stone they'll have to break up "somehow", either through some weird outpatient procedure with sound waves, or by just going in and spending 2 hours breaking it out manually. The former is what we're trying first though and SHOULD get it.

What I'm worried about is them having to do the latter, as well as them having to place a stint in regardless. I'm terrified of being put under. Done it quite a few times in the past and it's just not gotten easier, so everytime they do it I start getting antsy. Additionally I am pretty protective over manhood. That sounds retarded, but it's a source of fear for me. With luck, they'll just have to put me under and fiddle with me twice to get the stint in and out, and it's all pretty easy and routine, so then why am I freaking out so much? Does anyone have any experience with these issues, or could give me some advice about how to calm down?

Please help me not be so pussy so these next few weeks can blow over smoothly.

 No.5160

Distract yourself as much as possible until the procedure. Just get your mind off it however you have to If by any chance something goes wrong, there's always the legal suit option. Besides they'll probably figure out how to replace penises within the next couple decades, so any loss might not be permanent.



File: 1534409538395.jpg (5.17 KB, 230x219, moon.jpg)

 No.5054[Reply]

Hi all

I'm former "NEET", was "NEET" for 2 years in mother's house. I am going to university now. Recently, I'm computer programmer intern several times. None of my programmer jobs pay enough to survive, however, and I have difficult time succeeding socially.

I still feel like I am "NEET" and "NEET" people are the only ones I relate to, what to do?

 No.5055

File: 1534414147916.jpg (105.29 KB, 700x604, любая.jpg)

Practice small conversations with mirrors, imitate patterns, body language, and interactions you see come from people. Failure is natural at least once but attempt to learn from it, understand that you will fail and will stumble on the march. Practicing with a close friend (or a remote person you do not mind) is a great benefit and boon.
It takes a long time to feel natural at socialization, there will be quips around it, but as you continue to get used to it you can always adapt to the best.
The routine normalizes everything, even if you are afraid, even if it was not productive at first. Ultimately, as this becomes a comfortable zone, your feelings of being socially insufficient, or "NEET" will disappear over time.
In the context of your work, in the meantime, you can try to develop skills that you can later incorporate into your resume so that you can look better off after graduation. You should not try to support yourself when going to college because of the exorbitant cost. Unless you have a large loan or student allowance, please stay with your mother or divide costs with a roommate while you are enrolled in university.
Good luck, OP.

 No.5125

>>5055
not op, but i really needed that. thanks



File: 1537594999875.png (935.53 KB, 750x654, Danganronpa.full.2194467.png)

 No.5108[Reply]

hey, /hikki/.
I've been a NEET for 4 years now. I can barely stay awake anymore. I sleep for 8-9 hours and drink a fuckton of coffee and sodas and yet I still feel sleepy and sluggish. I even tried "home exercises" but that only succeeded in making my legs feel like chewed-up gum.
Do you guys have this issue, too? It only started last year.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5111

I understand what you're going through. Sleeping and resting are two different things. Sometimes you could sleep for 14 hours and wake up even more drained than you were before. And sometimes you sleep only 3 or so hours, and wake up totally refreshed.

This is purely psychological, and has nothing to do with being physically tired. You could exercise as much as you want, you could do the most physically demanding activities all day, in itself it's not going to force you to rest.

I, too, would drop sodas/energy drinks. They would only make things worse than they are already. Coffee, while is quite useless on people with this problem for some reason, is at least not as destructive as the aforementioned drinks.

And while I agree with >>5110 about carbs and sweets, I certainly believe that diet has nothing to do with this.

I believe what would really help is to somehow try to be at peace with your mind, even if just momentarily so. I know it's difficult. And look who's talking, I pretty much fell into the same situation, though I can't even sleep more than 4 hours on a good day, let alone have any rest. But give it a try, if you could let your feelings go before bedtime, only if for a day or two per week, you could get some rest.

 No.5114

>>5110
Ah, shit. Must be why 1-8 is still draining. Explains a lot. Thanks! Also, shit. I'm gonna have to quit coffee, huh? Eh, if it helps.

>>5111
Shit, hope you're better.
Anyways, I guess I'm gonna stop drinking sweet shit anyways, cause you both are pretty correct. And yeah, 4 hour sleep sched? I went through that, too.
I'll try to ease up at night, stop thinking 'bout school stuff. You're also right, I don't rest, ust sleep. Might just try unwinding.

Thanks, you two!

 No.5117

File: 1537809031657.jpg (74.47 KB, 980x718, cycle.jpg)

You should aim to wake up whilst you're dreaming (in REM sleep). If you wake during a deeper sleep you'll feel groggy no matter how long you've been asleep for.

 No.5118

>>5117
What really shits me off is that I can go to bed at midnight or 11 pm, wake up any time from 6 to 8 am, and while I am tired most of the day I don't feel immediately groggy. But when I try to go to bed at 10 or so I just wake at 5 or so, am tired for most of the day, and on top of that I wake up groggy as fuck. Same amount of hours slept, and I just get punished for trying to keep to good sleeping habits.

 No.5123

>>5118
Any change in your sleep schedule is hard to adjust to. Maintaining consistency is important.



File: 1537412038068.png (413.8 KB, 600x904, pokemon___sabrina_and_abra….png)

 No.5091[Reply]

My mental state has been declining again. I was feeling alright for awhile but now there is just so much I need to worry about every day is filled with anxiety and I don't know how I can keep going like this. Recently I cant even bring myself to enjoy the things i'm passionate about, I just spend my free time under a blanket listening to music and browsing the internet doing nothing productive. As soon as I get home I am so exhausted that I fall asleep so I cant sleep at night. I don't want to live like this, I don't feel like doing anything.
6 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5099

File: 1537531664223.jpg (98.53 KB, 600x913, ghana-posters-new-9.jpg)

>>5097
doing while everyone is asleep won't help… we have little apartment and my mum has extremely good hearing. even if i go to the toilet at night or drink water on kitchen she instantly wakes up and going to me. doing anything in my room at night also isn't a good option because i share it with my younger sister. but thanks for the advise anyway, anon!
>>5096
my door doesn't have a lock and everyone often transpassing my room to go on a balcony. but you're right. i think i can overcame anxiety of jogging in public. and maybe i could do some sit-ups as well at day because it's rather quiet and quick. and stretching…

now it's time to work on myself! thank you all for advises and motivation

 No.5100

>>5099
Get a pretense to go outside, e.g go shopping. Walking or just being physically active (commuting) does plenty of good for the mind.

 No.5101

File: 1537540205364.jpg (168.8 KB, 1024x701, 4.-Эшер.jpg)

>>5100
i know… thank you i've been thinking about something like this

 No.5102

File: 1537560448502.jpg (208.63 KB, 743x1219, IMG_20180219_162041.jpg)

>>5098
>>5094
Thanks for the suggestions anons, I will try my best to get a reason to want to wake up every day and hopefully break my habit of taking naps as soon as I get home so I can sleep better. I dont think I could ever get into any rigorous exercise but I think I could handle getting out and walking around a lot more, night walks have always been something ive thought about, maybe ill give that a shot when the weather starts to cool down.

 No.5116

>>5095
I think nearly everyone has this anxiety when they first start out exercising, but after a while you realize that nobody seriously cares what your routine is or even that you're trying to better yourself. People in general are more concerned with their own health than yours, trust me.



File: 1533267074784.jpg (137.47 KB, 1280x720, K-ON!! - 17 - Large 30.jpg)

 No.5030[Reply]

Post things you've made or things you are proud of. Creating things can feel nice when you have been alone and devoid of accomplishment.

 No.5031

File: 1533267263058.png (9.89 KB, 799x499, Screenshot (8).png)

OP here, Ill start. I have made a pong clone with Reimu and Cirno from Touhou, it also has health bars instead of just a score. Originally I planned to add more characters to be selectable but I never really got around to that, maybe ill come back to it one day.

 No.5032

>>5031
post it

 No.5033

>>5032
I guess I can. Id like to clean some of it up a bit and add a disclaimer, since it was just a personal project. but I can probably put it up somewhere tomorrow.

 No.5087

File: 1536899249161.png (14.76 KB, 466x321, neet trip.PNG)

i made a tripcode generator for another chan i use, pic related are some tripcodes it generated with the word neet in them

 No.5088

>>5087
Use Meriken's.



File: 1535319649206.png (566.93 KB, 692x900, mdsf98342n.png)

 No.5072[Reply]

Does anyone care to start a trivial relationship with a stranger online?
I want to improve my social skills to make increase my odds of survival out there.
I apologize for this post if it is not allowed, or it is looked negatively, to ask for contact information.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5074

>>5073
I apologize for the ignorance, but I don't really know where you put your email.

 No.5075

>>5072
Mouse over his name, and it should appear in your link bar.

 No.5076

>>5074
Right click the part of my post that says anonymous and copy.

 No.5077

File: 1535369152247.png (150.82 KB, 560x600, 1483248735500.png)

Feel free to hit me up, I'm always up for a chat

 No.5080

File: 1536605717743.jpg (250.09 KB, 1920x1080, d.jpg)

Three times I have tried this "fast paced" online dating stuff and three times I have met actually insane individuals. Maybe you are different. Or not.

Anyway, making friends is great so hit me up.



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