/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

Japanese stuff is pretty different in comparison to most western stuff, I think it makes pretty good escapism because of that and attracts a lot of similar people.

>>4989
that makes me nostalgic. there's something i miss about old pre-social media days where there was something more genuine developing in the communities. i miss some of my old neighbors the most and wish i kept in contact. I remember this one really cute Asian girl in my neighborhood and she would send me comics that she would slide under my front door. I always enjoyed talking to her. I wonder what she is up to now.

writing this paragraph evoked something painful in my thought process. i really don't think i meet anyone who makes me happy like that anymore except online.

>>5035
I think I know what you mean thought I didn't know my neighbors well. one of them was this old russian man who lived alone, then one year he died. once he gave me a wrench out of nowhere and I was a kid who didn't know anything about tools so I thought it was weird but now I realize how grateful I should have been. anyway I used to poke around online at my old friends and saw them reminiscing over an old picture of them and they couldn't care less about me anymore. I don't think I was the "token" in their group, I was genuinely less close to them. I didn't get an allowance and go out and do kids stuff like most kids did. Sad since the 90s was the last chance to really do that type of thing. I'd always think it was weird when I'd get presents like that, like a wallet or a keychain since I had no money or keys, I didn't care about them. I found an old power rangers wallet in my garage, from the original series(US series obviously). maybe I'll start using it for the fuck of it.

>>5035
Do you have any way to contact her? I'm sure she'd be happy to see you again.

It's a combination of their culture and their "aesthetic" that draws me in. I think that too many people in Western culture that read manga or watch anime have a glamorized and biased view of Japan, me included.

Good job. If people make you too uncomfortable, try going out at really early hours in the day, when most are still asleep. Listen to the chirping birds and chase the rising sun.

I made myself a promise two years ago or so to take a photo of the sunrise from a particular place in town. I still haven't owned up to that, even though I've seen it in passing by train and car. I might be a little superstitious here, but the prettiest sunrises always seem to come up on days that mark some kind of important change in my life. Sets the mood just right.

>>4995
Sunset/sunrise is usually the most calming time of the day too. the sky is so beautiful, so dense and vibrant. sunset/sunrise and night are my favorite times of day

>>5007
If you move to some area with flourishing tourism, you could overwork yourself to the bone during the season as many people do and then live off that for the rest of the year.The job most people here turn to and one of the only ones where you can make a meaningful profit without investing too much is waiting tables / barrista, where you can make a pretty hefty profit off of tips alone in some places, but you can probably imagine how stressful it is, and it requires at least some semblance of social and motor skills. I couldn't stand it for more than a week even in a tiny restaurant. Expecting proficiency after 7 days of lifetime experience might be too much, but I'm still fairly certain that normal people aren't as clumsy or forgetful as I was. In short, I was pathetic. So choose with some thought.

>>5011
I just to Maine. What you described fits most of the people there. Working on a boat is another seasonal job that requires less on the fly social interaction. Don't know much about the pay, but I heard it was good.

>>5004
People are hell.
Working with people is hell.

The souschef just blew up at me again for??? Reasons I don't understand?? I have no idea what I did to get on his bad side. The boss is utterly confused about what is going on but we should be discussing it tomorrow. I'm tired of walking on eggshells when the souschef is here. Everyday I give it my best shot, and I understand that my 100‰ might look like someone else's 60‰, but I know that other people can see that I'm busting my ass off. It makes me sad, because I actually like the work and my coworkers, but it is not worth all the stress this is causing me. The souschef is an stubborn old guy and even if I explain about my disability tomorrow he is likely not going to change his mind about me :(

>>5024
Does he treat everybody like that? How do the symptoms of your disability affect your behavior?

>>5027
Well, I don't want to get too much into it, but I may appear standoff ish or curt to some people. I get along fine with all off my other collagues however And yeah, he mostly seems to have it out for me. I try not to take it personal but I can't help but think he really detests me for being weird.

>>5015
8th grade, anon, forgot to mention!

>>5016,>>5017
I will! Thank you.
For starters, girls do have a tendency to gossip. That discourages open discussion of things.(USER WAS BANNED FOR BEING UNDERAGE)

>What could they possibly do to you?
Social ostracization. Middle schoolers aren't allowed on this board as far as I know, however.

>I am sure if she is a friend, she will do anything to help you get better.
Is there even any point in calling people that trash talk you behind your back and treat you as a slave friends? Doesn't seem to fit the definition to me.
Distance yourself from her as much as you can, before she sucks out your soul. Not that it's an easy thing to do, but you'll be glad for it later in life.

>8th grade
Yikes. That explains some things I guess.

It's been a while since I've seen this message, based mods.

Basically, what >>5020 said.

>>5016
>What could they possibly do to you?
There are thousands of ways people can make life a hell for you in a circle of people if they have more power than you inside it. It really depends on how much of a bitch that person is, and from what we can read from OP's intel, this one is a big one.

>>5017
>Grow a pair, op. If somebody is giving you a problem, tell them. What could they possibly do to you?
This only makes sense if you have more power than them when you "grow the pair". If you confront somebody who is stronger than you or in a better position socially, you will only make a fool out of yourself and will become the target of hate and mocking or even violence in some cases (depends on the person).
All of this supposing you actually are shy/reticent/low-profile/whatever fits the classical /n/profile, and the other girl has actually power inside your social circles. If in reality you don't give a fuck about people and this "friend" (or she doesn't have any say in your world), by all means do this. Do not let yourself be stepped on.

Now, to OP: Unfortunately, you didn't seem to know about our rules. Underage users aren't allowed on this site (we're +18 for a variety of reasons). Next time play it smart and ignore age questions.
I'd paste an IRC channels or something in case you wanted expanded advice, but since you're underage and female, that's a terrible idea and the ideal excuse for people to call me (or anyone joining that channel) a pedophile, so sadly, that won't happen.
Anyway, in my opinion you should cut out your relationship with this girl. You obviously aren't in for what she wants off you, and she acts like a bitch to you, so yeah, you aren't really "friends". Do not hang out with her, if you end up being with her in some project or something, ignore her stupid comments (i.e. do not rebut) but don't treat her badly, and keep your distance (i.e. work with the other people in your group). If after a long while she's still like this, yeah, talk with other of your friends and see what would be the better approach. What do your other friends thinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Tell your parents, if they give two shits about you they will do something about it, one adult should be enough to handle problems with a bunch of kids, unless they don't care or are completely useless.

>>4980
None of that has to do with being sweet. Not all lonely people are actually loving on the inside. Many in fact aren't(including myself). She is not, "one of us". First of all, she hates chans and, "weebs". Secondly, she is truly mentally ill and has a warped perception of the world. She is massively hypocritical. I definitely don't identify with her. I don't expect a magic person to come and save the day. Her obsession with cutesy things and candy isn't sweet, it's juvenile. Arrested development. I don't think i'm anywhere near perfect or anything, but look at the list she wrote to describe her ideal person again. That's not sweet.

>>4983
"Weeb" and "chan user" are not personality traits. You could probably very well talk to her while simply keeping quiet about either of those and she wouldn't notice. The language barrier's already enough. If your character is entirely based on being those two things, you might want to reevaluate your life.
In regards to the chan thing, though, you could make the argument that chans perpetuate a certain culture, a way of thinking and speaking, that she dislikes, but you gotta keep in mind that she's Japanese and probably thinking of Futaba and the like, eventually 4chan, judging from a couple of her more politically coloured blog posts (which are all just jokes about Hitler looking かわいい anyway). If using chans has influenced you to your core, being on Uboa and making coherent posts about your feelings and all that gay shit should at least be some kind of confirmation that you're not too far gone to talk to her (since all she does is talk about her feelings). Smaller places like this one tend to have a somewhat different culture, after all. I definitely know that I feel completely alienated if I ever think of posting on 4chan, and the same goes for Uboa's discord where most of that crowd seems to gather, even though I'm perfectly fine with posting here.

However, I entirely agree with what you said about arrested development. The difference between her and ""us"" (whoever that mystical conglomeration might be) is her apparent childishness and naivete. Her expectations of an entirely inhuman being who will devote its existence to her needs - people here have said that they wish for such a thing, but I'm pretty sure all of them ackknowledge that it's impossible and drudgingly accept it. She switches between despising reality for it, to despising herself, which is something some people here might have in common. She's aware of her flaws, she's made posts about hating herself, her looks, her anxiety, her helplessness… But since she doesn't seem to be able to do much for herself (well, she's started to help her mom with cooking or something), the only realistic way for her to find a person she can become closer to is lowering her standards and accepting these same flaws in other people as well. Judging from her posts though, she just seems too self absorbed to ever figure that out. Odd, you'd think such experiences would at least make a person morePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>4983
she is hurt, alone and yearns for someone who will love her as she is. Of course it is driving her insane. Her standards for her ideal person are quite high for what she can offer but she probably just wants her person to be similar as she is. Sure her postings are full of hatred but this hatred is a reaction to not fitting in the world and not having your basic desire fulfilled.

>arrested development
she often posts how she found things in school complicated and nobody ever wanted to explain her stuff. How everyone just left her rot away in the swamp and moved on. She might have had struggles in school but she also reads about nihilism, nietsche and edison so it is hard to evaluate this one.

On the hypocritical parts you are right though. There are many instances where she calls other people fake but also claims she has a fake persona for interaction. At least she does not deny it though. With "one of us" I thought she is reclusive, socially handicapped, lonely and borderline suicidal / nihilistic. She hates weebs and chan users mainly because some of them wrote her only because she is Japanese and they expected a quick fuck. I would also be disgusted and more careful about them in future.

>>4988
School smarts don't encompass all of intelligence, but seeing how she writes and that she has printouts of what looks like math exercises for elementary school students, I dunno…

Oh, and would you mind pasting her comments on nihilism/Nietzsche/Edison that you've mentioned? I'd like to see more of her thoughts on these topics. I do remember her commenting on Freud I believe, saying something like "he's an interesting guy, he thinks in a strange way like me" and generally liking his stuff.

>>4990
i just looked again and she deleted the edison posts.

Anyways, This is my favorites from todays posting:
>I actually already have Popeye arms
>just it is covered by the gross fluffy meats

>see
>where we came from?
>it is like your mom pooped you out
>so we are shit
>real shit

I think she is heavily in depression. She writes that she cannot do much besides sleeping. Always tired. I know those feels as I have the same ones. When I read her postings I can see myself so often in her postings. It really hurts.

>>3826
Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Sometimes it's more comfortable taking the easy route even though the easy route makes you feel like shit. Your half-hearted attempts at change would indicate this.
I understand the feeling, making changes when you've been living like this for 11 years isn't easy, and that's precisely why you need a big change to get the ball rolling. Anxiety attacks or whatever is just something you will have to accept at first, but it'll get better with time.

>>3828
Whether you believe what I'm saying is up to you, but here's my take on it, which I'm sharing because I can relate to you on the bullying and weird kinks/fetishes/double life bit.

As already said, a functioning adult worth their salt at worst are just going to rib you a little. As long as you can take the banter and understand that most adults aren't going to bully you to the point of feeling excluded then you'll be fine in most workplaces and just everyday life like shopping for food or going to the movies. That's the reason why I pointed out that the adult world is nothing like school. Because it isn't. I have an annoying stutter at times and only the shittiest people actually mock me for it. I tend to be awkward as well and people don't bully me for that either.

Most people will put in the work to be respectful, understanding, and tolerant. All you have to do is put in the work to be the same of them.

As far as weird fetishes, attractions, etc, why is it anyone's business but yours? I fap to futas, monster girls, and girls sticking their fingers/tongue in foreskin and yet, this never has to come up in normal conversations. I don't just talk about my obsession with sex toys for that matter either. And knowing how people are, I just assume people have weird kinks and hobbies too. Maybe my manager at work is really into scat play but if he does, he does a good job at hiding it.

Only people I see who get rejected are those who too proudly discuss their more TMI parts of themselves to anyone. I work with such a person, she just told me about how she loves gay guys making out and how she's an asexual, and how she loves the NSFW nature of the Undertale fandom, and once announced that she had to shove a tampon up her snatch.

I don't know, I know you said that you don't like being a pedophile, but just don't make your kinks/sexual attractions into your identity? Just don't be that guy in pic related.

>>3788
8 years. Can confirm the feels. I wish I had an answer. At least you aren't alone. I'm in the same sinking boat.

yes I can relate OP
I just had this feel again today.
For the first time since october I cried again
in the shower so nobody can hear, like a little girl

I hate the fuckup I have become and I hate the person I am. I hate beeing a waste of oxygen and I wish I could drop dead.

It's 3:56AM. When the clock hits 3AM, my heart sinks and I freeze with hesitation. For the past month, I've been planning to visit the railroad, but I keep pushing the date for tomorrow, with an excuse every time. To be fair, I was exhausted each time. I'm exhausted now, in fact.

But it's not exhaustion, and it's not procrastination either; it's the instinct of self-preservation. It's very easy to plan suicide, but when the time comes it's not that simple to fight core human nature. I'll eat some coffee grindings and sleep in the morning. In the dead of night, the streets are empty.

Determination and will can overcome more than just instinct, and, of course, desperation always helps in this case. But humans aren't animals, or, they shouldn't be. I'm not a cornered rat; this is an act of dignity, not desperation. And I refuse to live in a world like this. They'll scrape my remains from the pavement, but they'll never have my soul.

We've gotten some level of acceptance and understanding from our close friends and family.
I find that this sort of thing less often causes trouble for ourselves and more often causes other people to bring us trouble.
But, as Lord Pain From the Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy said "some life choices demand sacrifice Billy, someday you'll learn that"

I've always had imaginary friends. I had adventures with them as a kid, they comforted me when i cried. On days when i feel like it would tear my body apart to leave the bed, they helped me leave my room.

Though when my depression was pulling me into neetdom, i thought they were why i couldnt do anything so i mentally put them all on a ship and raized it. It hurt a lot and i can see now that it was actually me throwing away my internal support system like how i had isolated myself from my actual friends during this time.

I've brought a few back as characters for one of the many things i think about writing. And one of the new faces helps me with getting out of bed. And I've gone back to drawing comics of myself talking with them, which helps emotionally. To me now, imaginary friend is an OC ive done a good job building

Oh, and sometimes when i get the heebies at night, i imagine all my usual nightmares surrounding the house to fight whatever's out there. Better the devil you know, i guess.

>>2906
Even as a kid I was too uncreative to make an imaginary friend. When I was a teenager, I tried it for the fuck of it at one point, but honestly having an imaginary friend is more painful than not having anyone to talk to. I also would prefer not to look for spiritual guides either because I'd rather look to science and people who've gone through what I have than a bunch of vague stuff about spirituality.

>>2947
>Now I talk to various spirit guides of mine which could probably be argued as just being imaginary friends. I ask them for advice or for reassurance for various things on the daily. They give some good advice too.

How do they give you good advice? Do they give you advice that's been in the back of your mind? Or do they butter you up and tell you that everything is okay? Either way like the other anon said this sounds very unhealthy.

>>2975
You took a wrong turn in Albuquerque, anon. neets don't work. Neets can't focus to study. You have no idea wtf you are talking about.

>>4918
So, according to you, most people in this site do not work or study, right?

>35
>Been to psychiatrists from kindergarten to 20ish
>Each psychiatrist had a different idea
>Overbearing mother and weak father
>Nothing particularly traumatic
>Had a couple really short jobs
>Got on country's version of SSI pretending to be schizophrenic because it's a clearcut diagnosis
>Haven't had a social life since I got the net 13ish years ago.
>Ditto for leaving the apartment for anything besides groceries

Frankly I've never been particularly ashamed of being a sponge. I look at 'normal' people and see lives far more pathetic than mine. They sleep for 8 hours, work for 8 hours, spend maybe 4 hours dealing with necessities, and are left with 4 hours of their own if even that. I obviously don't have much money but my time is my own, I can mostly do what I want when I want. What I want just happens to be being a shut-in.

>>4906
Be thankful. Without those, "pathetic normal people", you'd either be dead or starving. Seriously, pretending to have a mental illness because you can't be bothered to lift you own weight is a bit scummy. Pretty sure it's illegal too.

>>4907

I guess you didn't quite get what I meant. I am FAR from a functional person(As I said, I haven't left my home for anything but groceries in THIRTEEN YEARS.) and there has been something wrong with me since childhood but every psychiatrist had a different vague idea (usually schizo-something) and SOMETHING had to be put on the form by the psychiatrist when applying so I chose 'schizophrenia' because that's an obvious and clearcut form of crazy.
As for "pathetic normal people" I didn't say I hated them. Their live normal lives just seem pretty sad and definitely not something can be lorded over the people here.
On a final note no I wouldn't be dead or starving I'd be homeless or institutionalized, both of which would cost taxpayers more. Or are you advocating suicide?

>>4909
Yeah, I misunderstood what you meant. Sorry about that. While a normal routine for people can seem relatively depressing, it's as close to as good as it gets as currently possible for the average person. Things were shittier before and they are going to better compared to now in the future. I don't think there's anything sad about that.

>>4907
>Without [non-neets] you'd probably [not exist]
You make that sound like a bad thing.

>>4857
>In the, "old b", they would have been made fun of for being such ragefag tryhards.

The term incel didn't exist back then 4chan was created by a weeaboo and it originally was a site for anime fans social outcast and fans of Japanese culture normalfags started coming in once Moot added more normal-like boards and when 4chan started getting mainstream attention.

>Please ban, sei.

This is a image board not Tumblr.

>>4858
Please try to keep discussion about moderation out of non-/sugg/ threads. Also be careful about not getting provoked into breaking rule 6 yourself. This whole thread is toeing the line.

>>4854
>(USER WAS BANNED FROM HIKKI FOR THIS POST)

SJWs showing off their true colors.

>>4879
>6-Destructively attack or provoke other users.
How in the dick is banning someone for multiple continuous agressions a social justice matter? No really. I'm honestly willing to know.

>>4879
>goes into containment board
>complains it's a containment board
0/10 newfag isn't even trying. Please stop.

I'm afraid of going outside
I'm afraid of how the world works

Insects/Arachnids. They've fucking terrified me since I can remember. Something about the way they move and look incites pure, visceral dread and panic in me. The only way I can stomach killing them is by throwing massive books. The thing about bugs is that they don't care. They would crawl all over you or into your mouth or urethra without a second thought. There's nothing stopping them. Not size nor conscious. A bear sized centipede wouldn't think twice about feasting on the flesh of sheep or humans with the same soulless expression that they always have. They're literally the closest things to monsters on the planet. In my head, killing them is so quick and easy, but when i'm actually face to face with one its like my ability to reason is totally overpowered.
I remember how after a centipede crawled into my bed one time. I was paranoid about it happening again for years after.
When I was in middle school, in the dead of one night I was staying up late on my pc. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what looked like a black spot on the wall. I became completely convinced that it was a stink bug. I just stared unblinking at it for what felt like hours… Eventually I had enough and retrieved this extremely powerful roach spray, which lets off a noxious, head numbing odor, from the kitchen cabinet. When I got back to my room, I was surprised that that unidentifiable black spot was still right there. After staring some more, I finally worked up the nerve to bombard the spot with who knows how many sprays.
It still didn't move or anything. I turned on the lights and saw that it was just a pin in the wall that I put there and forgot about a week before.

Megalophobia, the fear of large objects. These types of things look really cool on images but being in front of one of these has terrified me since I was a kid

All of my phobias are anxiety based…
I have a noticeable stutter, which makes me too nervous to really speak in public.

I get really anxious when I think about how much time has passed since a certain period, I don't know if that fits but it's semi related. Other than that I've been scared of jellyfish. Didn't even get stung I just saw one and thought it looked horrific