>>7552I read your post when it was posted and come back to it intermittently but I don't know how to respond, what the fuck I'm asking, wanting, reiterating what I've already said, stating what is already known, and answering my own questions. What else can be said about it, are you still here? If you had more to say or wish to do so do so but I wouldn't know what to specifically ask about unless it's of the mundane. If all those expressions fail I just want to know more.
The same could be said for something like autism but all the symptoms and behavior of SzPD seem to come from a "normal" state of mind, one that developed naturally in accordance to its environment where autism is an odd/broken mind from the get-go with no social factors influencing how it came to be. Can one acquire autism or have a delayed autism the same way one does schizophrenia? Of percentages of induced SzPD what would you say separates the real from the temporary or similar disorders that stem from depression, cultural isolation, anger, sensitivity, etc..
And there's also that it's not just the core behavior and symptoms to go off of but how it colors your world and what other mental illnesses you'll encumber that really determines if it's genuine or not, like autism's actual effects being more than single obsessions and memorization; that those core aspects seen from the outside are judged, and symptoms are obfuscated and defined by those external characteristics making what is true behavior hard to differentiate.
It's becoming psychologically harmful to care about this, like I want to fit into a box or need to be quantified like a statistic because I'm struggling to find an identity to replace my own which is slipping away and becoming too self-conscious. And also that I may find common ground among others like this even though it's superficial, some kind of cool club where in reality (if I have it) I know what it's like and has played a role in my misery. I can talk about (lack of) stimuli, what people think of me, and what I think they think of me on how I am as a person but I won't go there now. I ran out of steam writing this and jumped around editing it, I started over two months ago so I may have staircase wit.
>I didn't become depressedI think I meant there to be a comma.