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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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 No.5523[Reply]

It's possible to have sort of a life being a hikki/neet. I've been on disability for a while. I've been on it since 18 and I'm 24 now. I had a girlfriend last summer (dating on and off). We finally met last summer, it was everything I could have ever imagined and more. It was magically, and then we rushed into something 'real' even though I was against it and it fell apart.

I met her 7 years ago online. I lost my virginity to her, and hers to me. It was sort of 'perfect' in a sense - but I don't believe there are actual women out there that can stand living in a NEETstyle. In bore down on us and created insane pressure, and we broke up over it. You'd have to be actually crazy hideous female, I think. My ex was thin, quite attractive, she had some skin problems and stuff. Nothing crazy though. I'm just fat, btw. Very, at that.

In my early years, probably highschool- I romanticized NEETdom and being Hikki. It's the worst thing you can do. I was a loser and friendless majority of my growing up and it fostered me into what I am today, but I'm working hard to change that. I DON'T want to be on disability, to be a NEET, etc… all that dysfunction that comes with it. For some it perhaps is inevitable. I am diagnosed mentally ill; some-what textbook Hikki. Honestly, it's the worst change you can have in your life. I loved that girl, and because of my NEET lifestyle it ruined it. I whole-heartily believe that it would have worked out if I wasn't a NEET and used to a terrible lifestyle.

anyways, I think it is possible to have a life being NEET… it's just exceptionally difficult… sorry if this was more of a rant. I am curious of other's struggles with neetdom and their personal victories.

I wish you all good luck and the willpower to improve.

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 No.5462[Reply]

for a couple months last year, i had someone akin to my own misaki. i didn't know them irl, only talked to them online, but i was going out relatively frequently with their help, they calmed me down and helped me out in many different ways throughout my daily life, not just when i was outside, and i thought maybe it was the road to stopping being a hikikomori. they have some similar issues though, and in march of last year they started isolating themselves from everyone, online and irl (i talk to someone who is friends with them irl). so, for months now, i've been pondering, do i move on or continue waiting? i've been waiting for a long time now, but the extent they went too for me was something i've never had before, and doubt i'll ever have again. changing their sleep schedule to mine, legitimately always there when i needed them, kept me calm and relaxed, understood me and my emotional needs, went to great lengths to cater to my emotional needs, and did a great job at catering to those needs too, did so many things with me and for me, was very loyal, etc.
so, as i said earlier in the post, do i continue waiting or move on? i'm extremely dependent on other people, but that's a whole different thing to explain in itself. due to this extreme dependency, i really cannot see myself making any progress in my life without them, and i've only gotten worse since they've left..

 No.5463

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>>5462
Move on. You have my sympathy and i'm sorry to say this, but that person was as dependent on others as you, possible more so. They were using you as a means of feeling useful and good, kind of like Misaka, sure, but Misaka was somewhat put together despite her issues. Having a sociopathic therapist treating a sociopathic patient is a recipe for disaster and this applies to pretty much every condition. Maybe she wasn't aware of it herself, but that was the underlying motivation behind her actions. Maybe her own life took a turn for the worse or maybe she just lost interest.

You probably wont meet a person who has the same coping mechanism as her: seemingly altruistically helping out social recluses. Being more independent is the only viable solution and I wish you luck with that.

 No.5465

>>5463
i'm not sure how i can become independent though, that's not something i've ever really experienced in my life. do you have any advice on how to be more independent?

 No.5466

File: 1548526149872.jpg (Spoiler Image, 481.14 KB, 850x1192, sample_38250e8cb991800584c….jpg)

>>5465
You're going to have to set your own goals. I don't know what you want out of life or where you plan on being in the long run. The two things I think everyone should do though is live healthily and be financially independent, which means finding a source of income. You can try finding any job you can get, or you can try to develop marketable skills like translating ability or anything that requires higher education.

You'll need to be able to get yourself to do work and advance towards your goals without the help of other people too. This means self-discipline and holding yourself accountable, which takes training to develop. Eat well, sleep enough, exercise, cut out the things in your life that distract you.

To be independent, you'll have to think for yourself too. This might seem counterintuitive, but you should read more and learn about the world and how other people think. This will give you a basis for your own opinions. Don't just passively agree with people. I don't know what your life circumstances are, but I think anybody can develop these skills with enough persistence. To be completely honest, I don't know how much faith I have in your ability to succeed considering how these are things that even I struggle with to an extent., but it's not my job to believe in you, it's yours.

 No.5509

>>5462
I've cut myself off from most people in my life, and when I get a way to support myself fully, I'll probably cut out the rest.
But part of me wants outside people to bust down these walls and rescue me from myself. Though even if they tried, I think i'd just run away again, or drive them away from me somehow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poKI_MY0Bkw
Maybe your friend is as hopeless or me, or maybe they aren't.


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 No.5353[Reply]

(I hope it's the right board.)

I think I've been followed/stalked for almost a year now. Possibly had one email hacked too, but I deleted immediately. I closed all my social media.

The problem is, I have absolutely no proof. No alerts, viruses or anything suspicious.

I know it's most likely a "problem" I invented myself but I have a few small reasons to believe it.

Did this happen to anyone else? Do you have any advice?
12 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5431

what was that chatbro link

 No.5432

>>5431
www.niggers.com/1986

 No.5459

>>5353
Don't worry about your stalker, anon. Kick his ass!

 No.5460

>>5459
That's downright insulting. That's like saying "don't be sad" to a person with depression. You think you're cheering him up this way but that's quite the opposite. Judging by OP's story, he has no way to determine even who his stalker is so what do you mean by saying "Kick his ass!"?

 No.5461

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>>5459
>>5460
They've dealt with it already, so either way it doesn't matter~


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 No.5085[Reply]

I'm going back to school in a few weeks after having been shut in my room for probably 5 years. I dropped out of high school a while back, and even before then my parents took me out of elementary school in favor of homeschooling, since then I've had trouble and barely kept up. I've taken online classes for most of it, but I'm being encouraged to go out and actually attend classes, most because I do want more opportunities out of the house, and my computer is busted.

I'll be taking a high school equivalency thing first before actual college, but the thing is, I have no idea what to expect. I haven't interacted with anyone my own age in real life since I started being homeschooled, so I have no social skills. Additionally, I lack confidence in my own skills and have always struggled. I slacked off a lot and now I'm so behind. I've been trying to study but I don't have experience with a lot of this. Nobody is really helping me, and I can't help but think that, since this is just high school, college will be harder and leave me more drained and depressed than ever before.

No one has even told me what to expect. It's like they just keep dancing around the issue whenever I ask how bad it will be, which isn't helping my anxiety. And I keep stressing out over how much this'll cut into my time and what to do with my life, and hours and weeks and homework and getting high grades. I don't want to just waste any of my time here, but I guess I have to do this if I want to be a functioning member of society and get money. But I just wish someone would help me.

Is it really as bad as I'm thinking? If So, how do I hold out these next few years wasting my life on things I won't ever need to really know without breaking down and killing myself?
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5373

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>>5370
>computer science
Oof, have fun getting interviewed by Rahul. That field's been getting more fucked since y2k, anon.
source: my seasoned cousin who's in between jobs and does consultation calls to get by

 No.5375

>>5373
Anecdotal evidence. I know plenty of people who got good careers as software developers. Don't try to discourage people. I think this board should be about encouraging each other to do well, not telling people that they're going to fail.

 No.5380

>>5375
Anecdotal evidence has value when it comes from an insider. My cousin knows plenty of people in the same situation. Maybe software developers have it better for now than in banks and other type of firms that need an IT department. Companies are certainly looking into outsourcing development though, even if that's not widely implemented right now. I'm not sure how much upward mobility that has anyway. Unrealistic optimism isn't that useful either. I'll ask my cousin about developers.

 No.5394

>>5380
Yeah, he said software developers are also having a harder time, but the biggest issue is getting hired into a senior position. Indians work for less and companies are eager to abuse the work visa system. I don't know what your friends are doing or what their background is, but these problems certainly exist and are getting worse.

 No.5404

>>5370
>>5373
Only the low-tier companies outsource their work to India via HCL/infosys/etc. Most of this work is braindead enterprise CRUD stuff anyway. Startups and reputed firms that need quality devs usually shy away from outsourcing, though that doesn't mean they still don't abuse the visa system. Also most of the people in the field nowadays are asians, and the bar keeps getting higher as more as more people enter the field.

Computer Science is still a fun and practical degree though, and at least for the next ~5 years or so it won't be *impossible* to get a job. I'd suggest not specializing in machine learning though since that bubble is probably going to pop soon.


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 No.5143[Reply]

How does one prevent themselves from becoming hikikomori? Did anyone narrowly avoid it or have any advice for those that they would have liked to give their past selves?


just going to give the tl;dr because nobody would read what I typed
>wasted my time on a degree I don't want a job in
>learned nothing
>anxiety
>depression
>no confidence
>no skills
>co-workers hate me
>ugly and self-conscious about it
>living at home is really appealing right now
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 No.5387

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>>5385

I wasn't even trying to sage the thread to begin with also to respond to your point that's why i said from a more western perspective social and societal pressure exist everywhere anon therefore due to society's social and societal pressures anyone could become a hikikomori regardless of what country they live in but you are correct that in most western countries parents wouldn't enable this behavior and that's why i said while hikikomori do exist outside Japan they are extremely rare and of course i am not proud of it it is not something to be proud of however i just accept the fact that it is who i am. As far as people appropriating the term well wouldn't you get mad too if you were dealing with a psychological problem and people were running around on the internet calling themselves that psychological problem because they think it is a cool new buzzword or an alternative lifestyle which it isn't so i have every right to be offended it literally is no different than someone running around yelling hey everybody i am depressed isn't that cool? hell yeah LOLOL it is disrespectful to those who actually suffer with the condition i have Japanese hikikomori friends and they hate people like you guys because they see it as a form of mocking and disrespect also yes a hikikomori can leave their room to use the bathroom and some do leave the house for necessities or emergencies at night.

 No.5388

>>5387
>hikikomori friends

 No.5389

>>5387
Aside from the rare person who calls himself a "semi-hikki", I don't really see people going around here calling themselves a hikkimori. The board's called /hikki/, but that's pretty much it. Where did you hear this was a site dedicated to that very specific group of people? Where does it claim that? You're making up an issue because you can't handle how this site deals with these types of issues and that the people giving advice don't themselves have said issues, which makes no sense to me. That's what you're really offended by and you said as much in your first post. You're driving this thread off-topic for the sake of bitching about your own personal problems with ubuu and insulting the users. If you don't like it here, fuck off back to your wizchan circlejerk.

 No.5390

>>5389

Almost every single english speaking Neet and hiki community is full os normalfags and people pretending anon.

 No.5391

File: 1546079133201.jpg (822.55 KB, 1280x1024, cirnofeet.jpg)

Jesus, I thought we already got over this truneet / semihikki ordeal. Truth is, most users here don't really relish in feeling like a loser, if you've inspected the catalog. There are feel threads but most look over to the positive pasture instead of whining about wageslaves. Some are content with what they have and would like to remain on the status quo, and that's fine, we don't give them shit. If you want to discuss bodypillows, onaholes or you just want to vent, that's fine, you can do it here. If you want to incessantly whine in a srs_bsns manner on how jews/females/trannies/niggers/normies are Satan, then maybe Ubuu is not your cup of tea.

Thread is locked as its derailed too far, feel free to start a new thread with the same topic. Anyone that tries to derail future threads under the pretense of NEET/normalfag crusades will be dealt with more harshly from now on.


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 No.5315[Reply]

I'm back to the NEET life after 2 whole years of hard work to replenish my unemployment rights, man it's hard to be a decent NEET these days, this was so hard on me that I am now on anti-depressants…

What do you guys do to earn money and stay at home?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5327

German?

 No.5330

>>5315
anti-depressants don't work. it's placebo.

 No.5332

>>5327

Nah, I'm French, but yeah I'm in Europe ^^

>>5330

I wouldn't be so sure, it kinda works for me, doesn't solve everything but helps me cope and deal with it more easily which is already a relief.

 No.5334

>>5332
which kind are you on if you dont mind?

 No.5336

>>5334

It's called Fluoxetine, but well it's basically Prozac, I get a pill of 20mg each day since 2 months…


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 No.5207[Reply]

I don't think I can endure it any longer. Life is just too much of a drag for me.

I stopped going to a therapist almost a year ago because he moved into another office, so the reservations were cleared. There are no other therapists in my town and going somewhere else is just too expensive. I've been trying to call him for several months, but he hasn't responded to me once. Maybe he doesn't want to interact with me anymore since I'm so broken.

My social skills are progressively getting worse. It's so severe that I'm even anxious when I talk to a friend on Discord. Most of the time even the simplest messages contain grammar errors, are unfinished, and sometimes even completely unrelated to previous ones.
As for the real life conversations, they share most of the same problems but it's accompanied by stuttering and similar speech impediments.

I have a crush on a Twitter mutual (yeah, I'm that sad) and I fucking regret it. She's an artist and I really look up to her, so I started to practice my drawing skills for a while so I can get noticed by her, but no one ever even noticed them (the way I draw is shit anyway, so I believe didn't have any chances lol). I replied to like 2 of her tweets with my shitty jokes that she for some reason really liked, or maybe she just pretended so I can feel noticed/respected/whatever. I wanna talk to her but I don't know how. Even a simple thought like DMing her saying "hi" makes my heart beat like a nuclear bomb.

I was never diagnosed with it, nor do I want to self diagnose myself, but there's a high chance that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I have a plenty of similar symptoms to Asperger's and PDD-NOS. The thought of that makes me extremely depressed all the time and I don't wanna exist anymore.

I haven't been suicidal for about 9 months, but the wish to end myself has returned about 2-3 days ago. I'm only 18 and I don't see any glimmers of hope in the distance anymore. Every single day since I graduated highschool exactly 5 months ago I've been doing nothing but laying in bed and playing some shit idle game without any sort of changes in daily routine. I don't even know what I should do anymore.

(sorry for the terrible composition and grammar, i havent written anything serious in a long time)
14 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5232

> I'll try to message her when/if I gather enough courage.
you are doing it wrong
you need to do this asap or you will forever delay it and say "it is just not the right timing". One day she will dissappear and you will hate yourself forever for not trying. So next time you both are online just do it.
Even if she does not like you, it is worth to get out of your comfort zone and be bold once every now and then.

 No.5244

>>5232
Yeah, I'd go with that. I used to have things I delayed until forever, and they disappeared quickly like snap of the fingers. Drink something for courage if you have to.

 No.5258

OP here again. It's too late for me to message her. She posted an update on Twitter today saying something about her new boyfriend. I can't help but feel extremely guilty since you've told me to message her as soon as possible.

Well, I can't do anything about it so I'll give up. I need to stay away from everyone so I don't get hurt anymore.

 No.5261

>>5258
please be safe op

 No.5276

>>5207
>>5258
Relationships don't mean anything, stop comparing yourself to others. Isolation does wonders for the mind, you can free yourself through it.


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 No.5265[Reply]

I do nothing, my routine doesn't change. Waste all of my days sleeping. I'm too paralyzed to try new things due to a combo of apathy and general disinterest. I try to force myself but it never seems to stick. This lifestyle is miserable, I'm long passed the comfortable NEET life phase but I don't have the strength to change. I hope I won:t always be a loser and someday gather the willpower to make myself happy.

 No.5266

What time do you go to bed and what do you do when you're not sleeping?

 No.5267

Just wondering, how long have you been a NEET?

 No.5268

>>5265
are you diagnosed with any mental illness?

 No.5269

start small and throw wrenches in your routine and keep at it for as long as you can


File: 1480325981694.jpg (45.41 KB, 736x413, war.jpg)

 No.2290[Reply]

What would happen if any of us honestly joined any branch of the military? Assuming we would simply pass any sanity tests (just pretend you cheat past it) and basic physical tests, what would happen?

I'm curious.
39 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4882

I went to Join the French foreign Legion once. It was quite enlightening as one realizes how much they actually value their own time and hobbies.

 No.4895

>>2290
I enlisted in the Marines a few years back. My personality did one helluva shift. I've become some sort of cross between an introvert and extrovert. But being in the A-type personality environment can be really stressful. It took me about a year to adjust I suppose.

 No.4913

>military
haha, they recruited me and I flunked at the recruitment test
>sorry anon, we have nothing to offer to you
I am literally too much of a piece of biological waste to even become cannon fodder

 No.4914

>>4913
>canon fodder
Soldiers aren't just canon fodder. They're trained, can be very effective individually, and have potential for upward mobility.

 No.5256

>>4882

the legion interests me also but the process of signing up seems tough - are you really fit and did you have a solid reason to join?


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 No.5103[Reply]

Greetings, Uboachan! Long-time lurker here. Anyway, as today is my birthday, and I don't have anybody to spend it with anymore (see below), I decided to pour my heart out to you all, and listen to your stories and opinions.

So, this is for the ones who weren't always NEET/hikikomori. This is for the ones who had the chance to make it big, and for a while did really well, but then, everything went downhill. How did you manage screw up your life?

As for me: first of all, I dedicated wasted 5 years of my life on studying something that I grown to loathe as time has passed (pic related). This is my last year, the finals are near, I would only have to give it one last push and I would be clear, but I just honestly cannot be bothered. Actually more than that, I'm disgusted every single morning I park my car in front of that school, and just thinking of what I have to face on each day makes my stomach turn. And I keep on asking myself: what am I doing here? And why do I keep doing it?

However, the most painful thing: the girl I was dating for a long time cut me off a few days ago. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We made our intentions clear to each other. I liked her. She liked me. She never had a real boyfriend before, she had no dating experience, yet she felt happy and comfortable with me. We had a wonderful summer together, and we had plans. To make it even more painful, on our last date, she was the one who promised (and insisted) that we will definitely do something on my birthday, as normally I don't celebrate it. She was really determined to make me happy.

Then, since there could be no life for me without drama, out of a sudden she had to cut contact with me. According to her final message, "she doesn't want to ruin my life and my career". Without me even saying or doing anything. And when I say cut contact, I mean completely severing all means of communication with me.

Sure, you'd say: go find another one! But the thing is, I don't "just want a girl". I never had problems with socializing, being around girls, starting relationships and stuff. If I just needed a girl in my life, I could find one. But after many relationships (both long and short), I don't want just another one. I wanted her, and only her.

And here I am. Without anything or anybody to live for. Without any motivation. And due to my age, no chance to start studying something new. There's no way out of this. There's no fuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
22 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5203

>>5202
Who specifically do you think could have done those things to them?

 No.5204

>>5103
family and friends can be abusive in many different ways, one way is gaslighting, which is trying to convince someone that they're crazy or have problems, which can mess with someone's self esteem and confidence and sense of self

learned helplessness is when you're convinced that you're stuck in your situation and there's nothing you can do about it, which can happen as a result of bullying, abuse, maladaptive learning, etc.

people don't exist in complete isolation, they are a product of their environment and relationships/interactions with people

 No.5210

>>5202
Forgive me I didn't understand you before, you might as well be right.

 No.5254

File: 1541682885501.jpg (64.77 KB, 398x495, IMG_0759.JPG)

I was already born damaged. Mood disorder, depression, severe anxiety, and not really bright. It took me years after going through multiple traumas to fix myself. I learned to mimic others behaviors in social settings so I wouldn't look like a freak having flashbacks and panic attacks in public.
When I hit junior year in high school, I had a crush on a teacher. He knew, and took advantage of it by slowly grooming me daily. Treats, private lessons, random spurts of affection and heavy petting.
When I graduated, he got fired. I had no real plans besides maybe getting into the art field. He promised me a future, that he'd propose and we'd grow old together. I fell for it. I relied on him heavily for a year. Having purpose felt good, having support felt good. They were things I haven't had or felt in a very, very, very long time if even at all.
Then he got worse. He did a lot of fucked up things, blamed it on me and left. He came back after a week or so for some ego stroking, got a new job and ghostsd me for good.
In a way, I guess I'm kind of blaming him for everything but it's really my fault. I shouldn't have fallen for fake love and I should have known better than to trust others after my first trauma. I don't have any purpose anymore and I've been sitting around idly doing nothing.
Even if I wanted to I can't do anything.

 No.5255

It's bad enough when your own life starts to fall apart, but then somehow there's always some sort of genius to take advantage of it. I guess humans are nothing but predators after all. So much for good doctor Peterson's views.


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