R: 0 / I: 0
I know what I should do, I should get on a train and disappear into the world. But I don't have the cruelty to do that to them and I'll never muster it just by sitting here thinking.
Let's you and me learn what it's like to ride a train alone.
Parents who don't want you to be independent
Who else is in this situation? Or maybe you used to be, but you got out? I'd really like your story if you did. This is the recovery board so let's help each other and formulate escape plans. If you like you can use this thread to share lessons/tutorials our parents didn't teach us too.I know what I should do, I should get on a train and disappear into the world. But I don't have the cruelty to do that to them and I'll never muster it just by sitting here thinking.
Let's you and me learn what it's like to ride a train alone.
R: 1 / I: 0
I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I don't know where else to say this and I want to vent somewhere. I'm not a NEET so I don't really feel it appropriate to post on /hikki/.
Well, I say I want to vent, but I had a whole blogpost typed up and deleted it out of embarrassment. The truth of the matter is my life is not really that bad. It could be better, but I feel silly complaining about it when so many others out there have it so much worse. I'm just lonely. I feel like I have nobody to turn to. I don't feel close to my family and I haven't since I was a kid. I don't have very many friends and I don't feel close to them either. It's hard for me to connect to others. Small problems just pile up and weigh down on me and I have no one to help alleviate it. I just want somebody to see the good I try to do. I want someone to want to see me happy. I want someone I can go to at the end of the day and be held and kissed by and told that I tried my best and that things will be okay. I don't need constant sex or a high-paying job or anything like that. I'm just tired of constantly playing therapist for others. For almost every adult friendship and the one relationship I've been in, all I have been is a blank slate and a shoulder to cry on. I'm tired of being the caregiver. I'm tired of being the only one who's there for me. I have bad days often and no one to make them okay. I'm really tired of it and I don't know what to do. I know I'm likely the problem. I just want to be accepted and loved and comforted. Sorry for complaining.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I don't know where else to say this and I want to vent somewhere. I'm not a NEET so I don't really feel it appropriate to post on /hikki/.
Well, I say I want to vent, but I had a whole blogpost typed up and deleted it out of embarrassment. The truth of the matter is my life is not really that bad. It could be better, but I feel silly complaining about it when so many others out there have it so much worse. I'm just lonely. I feel like I have nobody to turn to. I don't feel close to my family and I haven't since I was a kid. I don't have very many friends and I don't feel close to them either. It's hard for me to connect to others. Small problems just pile up and weigh down on me and I have no one to help alleviate it. I just want somebody to see the good I try to do. I want someone to want to see me happy. I want someone I can go to at the end of the day and be held and kissed by and told that I tried my best and that things will be okay. I don't need constant sex or a high-paying job or anything like that. I'm just tired of constantly playing therapist for others. For almost every adult friendship and the one relationship I've been in, all I have been is a blank slate and a shoulder to cry on. I'm tired of being the caregiver. I'm tired of being the only one who's there for me. I have bad days often and no one to make them okay. I'm really tired of it and I don't know what to do. I know I'm likely the problem. I just want to be accepted and loved and comforted. Sorry for complaining.
R: 7 / I: 3
I'm working part time at the front end of Walmart. Still in orientation, but it looks like they're desperate for new guys. I want to use this to develop my soft skills. It's scary, but it's time for change.
I don't know why I'm making this post. But I'll use this thread as an ongoing diary of sorts, like i see some others have done. I plan on going back to school either in the Winter or Spring, I want to acclimate to people again first.
I won't ramble on right now, but I don't know how much I relate to the other NEETs out there, I'm not nearly as cynical about everything I guess.. I'm just an idiot, and have undiagnosed mental health problems that have been around since childhood (I suspect OCD). Which I will be seeking treatment now after I sort out some paperwork with my insurance.
I just want an outlet to talk about my progress, nobody around me seems to care lol.
Cheer me on! I'm cheering you on!
Got a Job
I got a job after 8 years of NEET-dom. I'm tired of the NEET life.I'm working part time at the front end of Walmart. Still in orientation, but it looks like they're desperate for new guys. I want to use this to develop my soft skills. It's scary, but it's time for change.
I don't know why I'm making this post. But I'll use this thread as an ongoing diary of sorts, like i see some others have done. I plan on going back to school either in the Winter or Spring, I want to acclimate to people again first.
I won't ramble on right now, but I don't know how much I relate to the other NEETs out there, I'm not nearly as cynical about everything I guess.. I'm just an idiot, and have undiagnosed mental health problems that have been around since childhood (I suspect OCD). Which I will be seeking treatment now after I sort out some paperwork with my insurance.
I just want an outlet to talk about my progress, nobody around me seems to care lol.
Cheer me on! I'm cheering you on!
R: 44 / I: 13
Just got a job today. I'm probably going to quit or get fired again, but, let's see how this goes
I will try to keep this thread up as a "journal" in hopes of helping or motivation another anon to do as I did today
Just got a job today. I'm probably going to quit or get fired again, but, let's see how this goes
I will try to keep this thread up as a "journal" in hopes of helping or motivation another anon to do as I did today
R: 38 / I: 15
Ex-NEET/Hiki general thread, how long has it been since you got out of it? What are you working on right now? Do you feel like going back to that life sometimes?
I got a job and started going outside 6 years ago, after 2 years of being isolated completely, sometimes I feel tempted of just staying at home playing videogames all day, or to stay in bed doing absolutely nothing, I am still depressed, recently something bad happened, and I felt the need of going back to those habits, close my social media and be a full time anon again.
An important part of my recovery was the people around me, and volunteering at hospitals and hostels for the bed, working still feels kind of weird though.
Now I work as a programmer and web designer, not the best job for someone like me, but it's what I learned to do.
It's hard, but like an anon told me here, if I got out of that mentality once, I can do it again, and so can you.
Ex-NEET/Hiki general thread, how long has it been since you got out of it? What are you working on right now? Do you feel like going back to that life sometimes?
I got a job and started going outside 6 years ago, after 2 years of being isolated completely, sometimes I feel tempted of just staying at home playing videogames all day, or to stay in bed doing absolutely nothing, I am still depressed, recently something bad happened, and I felt the need of going back to those habits, close my social media and be a full time anon again.
An important part of my recovery was the people around me, and volunteering at hospitals and hostels for the bed, working still feels kind of weird though.
Now I work as a programmer and web designer, not the best job for someone like me, but it's what I learned to do.
It's hard, but like an anon told me here, if I got out of that mentality once, I can do it again, and so can you.
R: 13 / I: 2
Did anyone else escape NEET life and now just finds it even more lonely and isolating? I honestly haven't posted here or on any other chans in years. After nearly decade of being a NEET from 16 to 24, I did manage to get my life together. I have a job and am in a good university working towards my PHD, I'm what people would consider a "success" in that regards but its just lonely.
I can't relate to normal people, they don't have the same shared experience of growing up a NEET and being fucked in the head for so long. I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial. Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about.
I miss those days of feeling connected to others through the screen. At least I had others who understood back then.
Did anyone else escape NEET life and now just finds it even more lonely and isolating? I honestly haven't posted here or on any other chans in years. After nearly decade of being a NEET from 16 to 24, I did manage to get my life together. I have a job and am in a good university working towards my PHD, I'm what people would consider a "success" in that regards but its just lonely.
I can't relate to normal people, they don't have the same shared experience of growing up a NEET and being fucked in the head for so long. I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial. Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about.
I miss those days of feeling connected to others through the screen. At least I had others who understood back then.
R: 10 / I: 2
How do you even get a boyfriend or companionship?
How will I deal with the regret of never having a gf or bf.
I want to get one, but I know I'm too messed up from psychosis, BPD, autism, PTSD, and social withdrawal.
I've been NEET for 10 years and it's impossible I'll ever get a gf/bf now, I'm too fucked up and literally, everyone else is "normal".
Some guy I was talking to told me he wished he never met me and that I was sick.
How is this even fair? I only lived once and I was born in a family that fucked me up mentally.
How do you even get a boyfriend or companionship?
How will I deal with the regret of never having a gf or bf.
I want to get one, but I know I'm too messed up from psychosis, BPD, autism, PTSD, and social withdrawal.
I've been NEET for 10 years and it's impossible I'll ever get a gf/bf now, I'm too fucked up and literally, everyone else is "normal".
Some guy I was talking to told me he wished he never met me and that I was sick.
How is this even fair? I only lived once and I was born in a family that fucked me up mentally.
R: 2 / I: 0
Is this it?
What kind of goals do normal people have? A few months into a part-time job and nothing feels fundamentally different from NEETdom. I don't know what I'm supposed to be toiling over.
R: 5 / I: 7
once i muster up the strength to refill my adderall, id like to start school again at a community college for programming or computer science
is it unrealistic to want to have a job that i can work from home, that is the only way i see myself being happy in the future
is this just wishful thinking or do you think its obtainable
once i muster up the strength to refill my adderall, id like to start school again at a community college for programming or computer science
is it unrealistic to want to have a job that i can work from home, that is the only way i see myself being happy in the future
is this just wishful thinking or do you think its obtainable
R: 8 / I: 1
im an ironworker. my job is quite tough
im not cut out for industrial labour. while i have no problem doing rural labour i feel like i should have a thicker skin and just be able to do whatever is expected of me with my body. i feel like i should be grateful for having a good unionized job with decent employers. but i cant
i dislike it greatly
even slow days tire me the fuck out
and the manager has 0 mercy with the newbies
all around me ive built a hispanic macho image of myself to protect my soft, emotional core. and this rough shell tells me to suck it up and take it, to absorb the pain and the exhaustion and forge myself into a tougher man. but my inner self just wants to be a shut in, focus myself in my career (park ranger) and finish it to finally fuck off to the woods
can you please give me words of encouragment? or at least tell me what you would do in my position?
im an ironworker. my job is quite tough
im not cut out for industrial labour. while i have no problem doing rural labour i feel like i should have a thicker skin and just be able to do whatever is expected of me with my body. i feel like i should be grateful for having a good unionized job with decent employers. but i cant
i dislike it greatly
even slow days tire me the fuck out
and the manager has 0 mercy with the newbies
all around me ive built a hispanic macho image of myself to protect my soft, emotional core. and this rough shell tells me to suck it up and take it, to absorb the pain and the exhaustion and forge myself into a tougher man. but my inner self just wants to be a shut in, focus myself in my career (park ranger) and finish it to finally fuck off to the woods
can you please give me words of encouragment? or at least tell me what you would do in my position?
R: 2 / I: 1
I've recently started learning some skills that I hope will pay off in the long term, but I need to make some money in the mean time to buy a car.
I'm absolutely terrified to get a job though. There's not much around me except for retail work which does not mesh well with me. This is something I've avoided doing for many years.
I'd be happy to hear your experience with your first job, or with retail if you've happened to work that. Anything to not make me so nervous.
I've recently started learning some skills that I hope will pay off in the long term, but I need to make some money in the mean time to buy a car.
I'm absolutely terrified to get a job though. There's not much around me except for retail work which does not mesh well with me. This is something I've avoided doing for many years.
I'd be happy to hear your experience with your first job, or with retail if you've happened to work that. Anything to not make me so nervous.
R: 0 / I: 0
I'm already burned out from studying all the time. Currently taking physics and a few other courses, and it feels like this isn't getting me anywhere. Why the fuck do I even try? Just to have a piece of paper that may or may not help me find a job? The misery never ends.
I'm already burned out from studying all the time. Currently taking physics and a few other courses, and it feels like this isn't getting me anywhere. Why the fuck do I even try? Just to have a piece of paper that may or may not help me find a job? The misery never ends.
R: 64 / I: 45
For five years I've been slowly decaying: I've lost my health, dropped University, twice, and my relationships with my family is in shatters. Also what bothers me is that people I knew (I don't have any contacts left) now have good jobs, some of them their own families, while I still simply just run away from all problems I encounter.
I tried to do something with it so many times, but it never really worked out. I'm not sure whether anything can be done now, but I can try one more time.
To change the pace I will go to a local library tomorrow, so I can be closer to other people, will spend some time learning (or doing) something actually useful and will try to build up courage to make up with my family.
For five years I've been slowly decaying: I've lost my health, dropped University, twice, and my relationships with my family is in shatters. Also what bothers me is that people I knew (I don't have any contacts left) now have good jobs, some of them their own families, while I still simply just run away from all problems I encounter.
I tried to do something with it so many times, but it never really worked out. I'm not sure whether anything can be done now, but I can try one more time.
To change the pace I will go to a local library tomorrow, so I can be closer to other people, will spend some time learning (or doing) something actually useful and will try to build up courage to make up with my family.
R: 1 / I: 0
I’ve currently got a full-time professional job, but the circumstances of it are making me face the same kind of dilemma as when I was a NEET. Right now I’ve got the NEET dream job, I work from home and have barely any work, so I’m basically just getting paid to sit at home and watch anime. On the other hand, currently I live with my parents in a very high CoL area and the job pays a lot less than I could be making, with no real opportunities for advancement, so my options for moving out here are limited. I’m also just not a fan of the culture and people in this city so I’d like to move away for multiple reasons. Also even though I'm working from home now moving away while keeping the job isn't an option.
That said, it’s still very hard to give up my pseudo-NEET life for a job where I’d actually have to do work, and I have no specific place I want to move other than “not here” so I’ve been stuck on autopilot here for years now. These circumstances are getting more and more frustrating to the point I definitely feel like I have to make a big change soon, but with no concrete goal in mind it’s just a lot easier to go with the flow. I would appreciate any advice on
A) being willing to give up my current job for something more serious
B) figuring out where to move out of anywhere when I spend most my time in my room so I don’t know what I’m really looking for in a city and there’s nothing like friends in X city to help narrow down the options
I’ve currently got a full-time professional job, but the circumstances of it are making me face the same kind of dilemma as when I was a NEET. Right now I’ve got the NEET dream job, I work from home and have barely any work, so I’m basically just getting paid to sit at home and watch anime. On the other hand, currently I live with my parents in a very high CoL area and the job pays a lot less than I could be making, with no real opportunities for advancement, so my options for moving out here are limited. I’m also just not a fan of the culture and people in this city so I’d like to move away for multiple reasons. Also even though I'm working from home now moving away while keeping the job isn't an option.
That said, it’s still very hard to give up my pseudo-NEET life for a job where I’d actually have to do work, and I have no specific place I want to move other than “not here” so I’ve been stuck on autopilot here for years now. These circumstances are getting more and more frustrating to the point I definitely feel like I have to make a big change soon, but with no concrete goal in mind it’s just a lot easier to go with the flow. I would appreciate any advice on
A) being willing to give up my current job for something more serious
B) figuring out where to move out of anywhere when I spend most my time in my room so I don’t know what I’m really looking for in a city and there’s nothing like friends in X city to help narrow down the options
R: 8 / I: 2
Just lost my job. I've got bipolar and have been super depressive. The free clinic I've been going to doesn't open until next month.
Just wanted to make a post, shit's tough to try and get through.
Just lost my job. I've got bipolar and have been super depressive. The free clinic I've been going to doesn't open until next month.
Just wanted to make a post, shit's tough to try and get through.
R: 0 / I: 0
i always stay put or back down from conflict whenever it arises, be it stingy banter from coworkers or strangers pushing my boundries. its a shit habit i learned from my mother and it wont go away, and im tired of keeping my head down
how do you guys deal with this stuff? anyone knows how to project respect unto others? when i was an angsty teen i threw fists at the problem but now that im a grown ass man i cant solve things that way anymore
pic extremely related, no-one messes with the kangaroid
standing up for myself
well since im in similar company id like to talk to my fellow ex-neets about uncomfortable social situationsi always stay put or back down from conflict whenever it arises, be it stingy banter from coworkers or strangers pushing my boundries. its a shit habit i learned from my mother and it wont go away, and im tired of keeping my head down
how do you guys deal with this stuff? anyone knows how to project respect unto others? when i was an angsty teen i threw fists at the problem but now that im a grown ass man i cant solve things that way anymore
pic extremely related, no-one messes with the kangaroid
R: 6 / I: 1
But I survived, and fell into a vicious cycle of anguish and torment which has taught me the meaning of suffering. I now feel like I can only relate to people who have suffered.
So the question I want to start this thread with is: what made you withdraw? What circumstances in your life led to you shutting the blinds on society and taking to your bed? If you want to recover from being withdrawn, then what made you ill in the first place?
What made you withdraw?
For me, it was a mental breakdown which struck right at the cusp of becoming an adult, when I was 14 and on holiday with my parents. I had just left secondary school and so was approaching adulthood, and I broke down on holiday and fell so quickly ill that I felt like I was going to die. I cried holding the hands of my family as I felt the darkness was coming in, I felt certain I was dying.But I survived, and fell into a vicious cycle of anguish and torment which has taught me the meaning of suffering. I now feel like I can only relate to people who have suffered.
So the question I want to start this thread with is: what made you withdraw? What circumstances in your life led to you shutting the blinds on society and taking to your bed? If you want to recover from being withdrawn, then what made you ill in the first place?
R: 2 / I: 0
How do you cope with even part time employment? I've been.working around 30 hours a week for about two years now (after like 5 years of.neetdom) and I'm at my wit's end. It's not even a hard job but having to wake up in the morning 3-4 days a week and go to a job where I'm treated poorly is taking its toll. I don't imagine it's much better anywhere else. Even if I was treated really good I still wouldn't want to do it. I want to do and learn a lot of things but I don't have the energy on the days I work and pn my days off I don't feel like it because I'm anxious about returning to work
I don't even really see the point in working. I don't want a relationship or to move out. I don't really have any ambitions or desires that would require me to work. I save up all my paychecks anyway because I don't want much. I only got out of the NEET life because I thought it would make me feel happier and fulfilled but I'm worse off than ever. I rarely do anything that I want to do and even if I don't work on a day it's wasted feeling anxious or recovering mentally. I'm also slowly becoming dependent on alcohol to relax and have any kind of a good time
I was considering quitting and maybe have a more relaxed schedule selling art commissions or doing something else freelance. I'm just worried I wouldn't be able to motivate myself. How do full time wagies cope with their even more demanding schedule?
How do you cope with even part time employment? I've been.working around 30 hours a week for about two years now (after like 5 years of.neetdom) and I'm at my wit's end. It's not even a hard job but having to wake up in the morning 3-4 days a week and go to a job where I'm treated poorly is taking its toll. I don't imagine it's much better anywhere else. Even if I was treated really good I still wouldn't want to do it. I want to do and learn a lot of things but I don't have the energy on the days I work and pn my days off I don't feel like it because I'm anxious about returning to work
I don't even really see the point in working. I don't want a relationship or to move out. I don't really have any ambitions or desires that would require me to work. I save up all my paychecks anyway because I don't want much. I only got out of the NEET life because I thought it would make me feel happier and fulfilled but I'm worse off than ever. I rarely do anything that I want to do and even if I don't work on a day it's wasted feeling anxious or recovering mentally. I'm also slowly becoming dependent on alcohol to relax and have any kind of a good time
I was considering quitting and maybe have a more relaxed schedule selling art commissions or doing something else freelance. I'm just worried I wouldn't be able to motivate myself. How do full time wagies cope with their even more demanding schedule?
R: 27 / I: 5
there's this girl I'm seeing that's 10 years older than me. she's the first girl I've made out and fondled with. she's alright, and I like her, but (I suppose this comes with our rather significant age difference) she's too forward and horny all the time and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I ain't even ready to have sex yet
where and how can I meet girls *my* age (this is what I'd wager marked our differences) that are reserved, quiet and introverted like me? I'm into manga, videogames and writing, not sure if it matters
I don't even know how to deal with women. getting a chance with this girl was mostly pure luck. we hardly knew each other, flirted a little bit on social media and then we met up and stuff. since it's not going as smoothly as I expect, I think trying other methods would be a good idea
some friends suggested clubbing after this whole pandemic crap ends, but it's not really my scene
there's this girl I'm seeing that's 10 years older than me. she's the first girl I've made out and fondled with. she's alright, and I like her, but (I suppose this comes with our rather significant age difference) she's too forward and horny all the time and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I ain't even ready to have sex yet
where and how can I meet girls *my* age (this is what I'd wager marked our differences) that are reserved, quiet and introverted like me? I'm into manga, videogames and writing, not sure if it matters
I don't even know how to deal with women. getting a chance with this girl was mostly pure luck. we hardly knew each other, flirted a little bit on social media and then we met up and stuff. since it's not going as smoothly as I expect, I think trying other methods would be a good idea
some friends suggested clubbing after this whole pandemic crap ends, but it's not really my scene
R: 7 / I: 0
technically not a NEET now, but has been one on/off ever since i was 18. I have many things to say, ill just condense everything here.
so, it feels like i have accomplished nothing, other then start my GED, no job yet, no funds saved and getting one would be very overwhelming and the previous job i had at a store was horrible.
do you know any good jobs for a sperg recluse? I was thinking videogame QA, agoraphobia limits my choice in employment aswell.
also, i feel like i wasted all my free time doing nothing, and not even having much fun, just on youtube, discord and videogames mindlessly watching, playing and talking to people on discord but that ends up making me feel alienated since i dont feel i can be genuine, theres no place where i can say whats on my mind and just have an honest conversation, im re-discovering image boards again, this place seems like gold, sad that im only discovering good things such as yume nikki and uboachan when i was post NEET. As another anon posted, im thinking of looking into IRC/fediverse aswell to discover small comfy internet bunkers.
i wish i would have done things differently and discovered things earlier, too bad i cant get nostalgic about these things now, oh well.
unrelated but, im thinking of making a yume nikki inspired game, i dont want to be the "ideas guy" anymore, and i want to finally create SOMETHING in my life, i dont want to be lazy and passive no longer, im not motivated by fame, or money, just a drive to create and my imagination. Im not going to quit when i come across a obstacle. I have no skills, but i will MAKE skills if i have to!
this probably sounds like a autistic ramble, it probably is.
technically not a NEET now, but has been one on/off ever since i was 18. I have many things to say, ill just condense everything here.
so, it feels like i have accomplished nothing, other then start my GED, no job yet, no funds saved and getting one would be very overwhelming and the previous job i had at a store was horrible.
do you know any good jobs for a sperg recluse? I was thinking videogame QA, agoraphobia limits my choice in employment aswell.
also, i feel like i wasted all my free time doing nothing, and not even having much fun, just on youtube, discord and videogames mindlessly watching, playing and talking to people on discord but that ends up making me feel alienated since i dont feel i can be genuine, theres no place where i can say whats on my mind and just have an honest conversation, im re-discovering image boards again, this place seems like gold, sad that im only discovering good things such as yume nikki and uboachan when i was post NEET. As another anon posted, im thinking of looking into IRC/fediverse aswell to discover small comfy internet bunkers.
i wish i would have done things differently and discovered things earlier, too bad i cant get nostalgic about these things now, oh well.
unrelated but, im thinking of making a yume nikki inspired game, i dont want to be the "ideas guy" anymore, and i want to finally create SOMETHING in my life, i dont want to be lazy and passive no longer, im not motivated by fame, or money, just a drive to create and my imagination. Im not going to quit when i come across a obstacle. I have no skills, but i will MAKE skills if i have to!
this probably sounds like a autistic ramble, it probably is.
R: 8 / I: 0
coping with full-time employment
i have been a NEET for most of the last decade, apart from a seasonal part-time job some years ago which i quit after a few months. i recently was hired full-time for a mostly WFH office job. how can i cope with suddenly having to work for eight hours a day? i can't relax because i know i'm just going to have to do it again tomorrow. i feel like i have no free time any more. what are some strategies i can use to avoid suicide? i miss those carefree days already…
R: 5 / I: 2
Panic Attacks
I just had a panic attack while attending an employment training course. I've had them before but this was the worst one yet, I feel like such a failure when everyone else there is perfectly fine with the tasks, and I'm not. Anyone else have experience with them? Have you been able to overcome them?
R: 5 / I: 0
Hello
I am looking for my Canadian friend. He went offline almost exactly this time 3 years ago.
His name is 0x39. Other names he went by were Nick and turbotard and 疑惑 and lots of other kanji names that I can't remember.
He was very nice to me and was aspiring to be tea otaku. He sometimes posted on Lainchan a long time ago (maybe 5+ years ago?). He was studying computer science back in 2018. One time he went to a maid cafe in Japan.
Do you know my friend? How can I reach him?
I just want to find my friend again. I miss him very much. Please let me know if you know him, my email is in the email field!
The next bit is for 0x39 if he's reading this. It's top sekrit private!! So please don't open spoiler unless you're the real 0x39!!!!
Hi, I know I'm doxing you a bit, I'm really sorry. I'm just trying to find you, but I know maybe you don't want to be found. I'm so sorry for intruding. You disappeared at the end of April 2018, I never got to be a better friend to you. We only talked for a little bit. I knew you were going soon, you said you were troubled by things. I wanted so much to hold onto you tighter, but I didn't want to smother you. You slipped away. You said you might make a new steam profile one day, but I don't think that day has come yet. You were a nice person and I wished I could've helped you more when you needed a friend the most. But I got there too late. It was already time for you to go. It's always like that for me: late to every party. I remember, I told you that you should always try to say a proper goodbye to your friends, just so they know for sure. And the last thing you gave to me was just a little "so…bye I guess". I always felt that it didn't count, not when you'd left so much unfinished, friend.
Hello
I am looking for my Canadian friend. He went offline almost exactly this time 3 years ago.
His name is 0x39. Other names he went by were Nick and turbotard and 疑惑 and lots of other kanji names that I can't remember.
He was very nice to me and was aspiring to be tea otaku. He sometimes posted on Lainchan a long time ago (maybe 5+ years ago?). He was studying computer science back in 2018. One time he went to a maid cafe in Japan.
Do you know my friend? How can I reach him?
I just want to find my friend again. I miss him very much. Please let me know if you know him, my email is in the email field!
The next bit is for 0x39 if he's reading this. It's top sekrit private!! So please don't open spoiler unless you're the real 0x39!!!!
Hi, I know I'm doxing you a bit, I'm really sorry. I'm just trying to find you, but I know maybe you don't want to be found. I'm so sorry for intruding. You disappeared at the end of April 2018, I never got to be a better friend to you. We only talked for a little bit. I knew you were going soon, you said you were troubled by things. I wanted so much to hold onto you tighter, but I didn't want to smother you. You slipped away. You said you might make a new steam profile one day, but I don't think that day has come yet. You were a nice person and I wished I could've helped you more when you needed a friend the most. But I got there too late. It was already time for you to go. It's always like that for me: late to every party. I remember, I told you that you should always try to say a proper goodbye to your friends, just so they know for sure. And the last thing you gave to me was just a little "so…bye I guess". I always felt that it didn't count, not when you'd left so much unfinished, friend.
R: 42 / I: 9
just when I was turning my life around a global pandemic hits
how are you living through the covid madness, bros? I still gotta commute to work lmao
just when I was turning my life around a global pandemic hits
how are you living through the covid madness, bros? I still gotta commute to work lmao
R: 0 / I: 0
Instead I choose to earn a living by staring at a screen all day and typing non-sense only autists and computers can understand. I'm not even that good at it.
There is nothing stopping me from going out but I'm so unsightly, I'm not the person I was a year ago and I don't have anywhere to go anymore either.
I feel dread every time I hear the microsoft teams notification sound.
I'm becoming agoraphobic again, how is this any different from being a NEET?
Return to NEETdom
Its a cloudy, dark gloomy day outside and if the lockdown had never happenned, if I had made another choice a year ago, I would be outside enjoying the sights and coming home from a boring day at work.Instead I choose to earn a living by staring at a screen all day and typing non-sense only autists and computers can understand. I'm not even that good at it.
There is nothing stopping me from going out but I'm so unsightly, I'm not the person I was a year ago and I don't have anywhere to go anymore either.
I feel dread every time I hear the microsoft teams notification sound.
I'm becoming agoraphobic again, how is this any different from being a NEET?
R: 8 / I: 1
Victory thread
Post here whenever you make a good step. Today I talked to some old friends from school, one hour either side of pressing send was absolute hell but everything after that was almost hilariously easy and I had a good time.
R: 5 / I: 0
I mean 2 different things when I say "live and alive, "to "wish to live" you must "wish to die" that is to say wish to encounter your worst fear or whatever you have ran away from to hide in your castle, it's the only way to get colour, to embrace life you must embrace death, I do not mean this in a literal sense I mean life as in the positive aspects and death as in the hurdles and fears, one cannot exist without the other, you guys probably know all this stuff already though being able to identify if something is optimal doesn't mean you are incentivised or willing to enact it.
it seems there are 2 choices to continue this grey lifestyle or to try and do something.
this post probably sounds severely schizophrenic and I doubt I was able to get my point across, all of this was inspired by a chat with a former hikkineet I had, I will keep you lads in my prayers.
on whether to continue this hikki neet life
I was meditating upon the subject for a while and this is the conclusion I have to come to "to wish to live you must wish to die" wishing to live in the sense of "really living" you can't keep running and be safe in your castle, it's a rather colourless way to live one with no variations, very grey.I mean 2 different things when I say "live and alive, "to "wish to live" you must "wish to die" that is to say wish to encounter your worst fear or whatever you have ran away from to hide in your castle, it's the only way to get colour, to embrace life you must embrace death, I do not mean this in a literal sense I mean life as in the positive aspects and death as in the hurdles and fears, one cannot exist without the other, you guys probably know all this stuff already though being able to identify if something is optimal doesn't mean you are incentivised or willing to enact it.
it seems there are 2 choices to continue this grey lifestyle or to try and do something.
this post probably sounds severely schizophrenic and I doubt I was able to get my point across, all of this was inspired by a chat with a former hikkineet I had, I will keep you lads in my prayers.
R: 1 / I: 0
Sorry if there's already a thread for this, but do any anons have special living arrangements?
Group homes, supported housing, assisted living, etc.
I'm looking into them trying to slowly transition from crippiling poor tard into a semi-functional-on-the-surface member of society, so if any anons have or had lived in one of these it would be nice to read.
Sorry if there's already a thread for this, but do any anons have special living arrangements?
Group homes, supported housing, assisted living, etc.
I'm looking into them trying to slowly transition from crippiling poor tard into a semi-functional-on-the-surface member of society, so if any anons have or had lived in one of these it would be nice to read.
R: 8 / I: 2
I spent a few months putting together the best applications I could, but made the mistake of aiming too high and only applying for a few difficult to get in to universities. So far I've heard back from 2 of the places I applied, both were rejections, and I'm not feeling too confident about the other 3.
Right now I'm panicking, because it's become abundantly clear that I've wasted the last 8 months and several hundred dollars doing basically nothing. I told myself I'd get an article written but I've been completely unable to get anything done because of all the uncertainty.
In a last-ditch effort, I'm putting together a PhD application to send to places that are still accepting applicants and might be able to supervise it. But, again, I'm not too hopeful about this.
I really do not know what to do if this doesn't pan out. I can't find any jobs that I'm not either over or under qualified for.
Someone suggested I become an assistant language teacher, but I am not comfortable at all with living alone somewhere where I don't speak the language after being a recluse for over a year.
Aimed too high and wasted 8 months
Since I graduated from University in June I've been planning on going back to do a Master's or a PhD. For what it's worth, I graduated with (I think) the highest grade of my year from a pretty bad university, but I also did a community-related EC and was the recipient of a research scholarship in my second year.I spent a few months putting together the best applications I could, but made the mistake of aiming too high and only applying for a few difficult to get in to universities. So far I've heard back from 2 of the places I applied, both were rejections, and I'm not feeling too confident about the other 3.
Right now I'm panicking, because it's become abundantly clear that I've wasted the last 8 months and several hundred dollars doing basically nothing. I told myself I'd get an article written but I've been completely unable to get anything done because of all the uncertainty.
In a last-ditch effort, I'm putting together a PhD application to send to places that are still accepting applicants and might be able to supervise it. But, again, I'm not too hopeful about this.
I really do not know what to do if this doesn't pan out. I can't find any jobs that I'm not either over or under qualified for.
Someone suggested I become an assistant language teacher, but I am not comfortable at all with living alone somewhere where I don't speak the language after being a recluse for over a year.
R: 1 / I: 0
everythings fine. great, even. it appears i do have some social skills and put them to work just fine
then why do i feel so doubtful and despairing all the time? why do i feel sluggish and backwards when i compare myself to others? why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me? why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?
every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet. thats what id do anyways. thats how id feel anyways. thats the feeling that chases me to this very day, at any moment. at home. outside. alone. with other people
me; stunted by rave lights and ear-shattering music like a deer surprised by a car's headlights watching everyone have fun and be better
everythings fine. great, even. it appears i do have some social skills and put them to work just fine
then why do i feel so doubtful and despairing all the time? why do i feel sluggish and backwards when i compare myself to others? why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me? why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?
every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet. thats what id do anyways. thats how id feel anyways. thats the feeling that chases me to this very day, at any moment. at home. outside. alone. with other people
me; stunted by rave lights and ear-shattering music like a deer surprised by a car's headlights watching everyone have fun and be better
R: 8 / I: 0
Growing up I was never put into school. I was not homeschooled either. My cognitive ability is quite limited. I can't do the simplest of math, and my handwriting looks like it was done by a 6 year old. Of course, I have very little social skills because of this, and being around people gives me anxiety. I have no life experience or skills at all.
I think this was all my mothers plan, to make a bird who would never leave her nest. That might sound like a paradise for some NEETS, but when your Mother is controlling and manipulative, and your Father is raging and violent, you cannot help but want to get away from them.
I don't know if I could ever make it in the world on my own since my Mother does everything for me. She even speaks for me whenever someone tries to talk with me. My entire life I've just felt like a lapdog.
Ideally, the next step for me to get out of here would be to study for a drivers license, but I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated, and forgetting everything I just read. Even if I could do it, it's not like I could get a car anyway. Is it even possible for someone like me to get out of being a NEET? What can I do?
From what I know, all the online jobs require some sort of skill.
Growing up I was never put into school. I was not homeschooled either. My cognitive ability is quite limited. I can't do the simplest of math, and my handwriting looks like it was done by a 6 year old. Of course, I have very little social skills because of this, and being around people gives me anxiety. I have no life experience or skills at all.
I think this was all my mothers plan, to make a bird who would never leave her nest. That might sound like a paradise for some NEETS, but when your Mother is controlling and manipulative, and your Father is raging and violent, you cannot help but want to get away from them.
I don't know if I could ever make it in the world on my own since my Mother does everything for me. She even speaks for me whenever someone tries to talk with me. My entire life I've just felt like a lapdog.
Ideally, the next step for me to get out of here would be to study for a drivers license, but I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated, and forgetting everything I just read. Even if I could do it, it's not like I could get a car anyway. Is it even possible for someone like me to get out of being a NEET? What can I do?
From what I know, all the online jobs require some sort of skill.
R: 2 / I: 0
After leaving high school age 18 I went full on NEET 3 years, then done a year of college before University. I had more chronic health issues then, but despite all that my first year of University I actually was able to socialise regularly.
The second year I even got a girlfriend, but poor communication ended it, which kind of sucks. I feel I have no real direction moving forward now as I've been able to pass as normal. For some reason, it kicked my motivation out since I question why put in all the hard work if results are minimal?
I'm struggling to get my motivation back :( my life was almost going like an anime in terms of dating the first girl I spent time with 1 on 1 in my entire life at that point. It took an incredible amount of self-discipline to get results and I feel buuurned!
3 year NEET, part-time school and now University.
I was always extremely introverted in adolesence, chronic pain at 16 led me to become entirely reclusive.After leaving high school age 18 I went full on NEET 3 years, then done a year of college before University. I had more chronic health issues then, but despite all that my first year of University I actually was able to socialise regularly.
The second year I even got a girlfriend, but poor communication ended it, which kind of sucks. I feel I have no real direction moving forward now as I've been able to pass as normal. For some reason, it kicked my motivation out since I question why put in all the hard work if results are minimal?
I'm struggling to get my motivation back :( my life was almost going like an anime in terms of dating the first girl I spent time with 1 on 1 in my entire life at that point. It took an incredible amount of self-discipline to get results and I feel buuurned!
R: 5 / I: 0
so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?
so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?
R: 0 / I: 0 (sticky)
If you are trying to go back to school or get a job, or if you've exited NEETdom a while ago but are still having problems, this is now the place to talk about it.
Ex-NEET Recovery Board
Since it's sometimes difficult to have a conversation about trying to exit the NEET lifestyle in /hikki/ without it getting derailed, I have created this new board for such conversations.If you are trying to go back to school or get a job, or if you've exited NEETdom a while ago but are still having problems, this is now the place to talk about it.