/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

I thought I was the only one.

Definitely. I also got out at 24 and I was able to do and experience things I never thought were possible, only with the help of social workers and specialized residences where I was surrounded with similar people of my age. After that stint I managed to find a good job and my own place but that was the start of another purgatory for me. Not only did I take on the burden of having to fend for myself but I also lost the ability to disassociate as I did in my younger, more impressionable years. I don't regret leaving home, because let's face it, that's an absolute dead end, but I am deeply dissatisfied day to day and have been since I started living om my own. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I do feel like at least I am not totally screwed anymore but the damage has been done over many years and that can't be ignored. I am still trying to make things happen with the help of some of the aforementioned workers but it's extremely difficult to even just live. I don't know how to relax.

But although I hate the fact that I can't space out on chans any longer, I wouldn't really want to. Even when I was involved from a young age, it was a stand-in, a compromise for what I really wanted despite some good times here and there. In that way, I'd much rather pace around and bash my head into a wall than go back to that mode of living. I'd rather take a chance on real life no matter how unlikely the success. But I have to tell you, when I wake up tomorrow, and the day after, and who knows for how much longer, it will be hell.

>>119
I definitely don't want to go back either. It's easy to look back on being a NEET as these halcyon days but the reality was it was crushing just in a different way. I just can't handle the isolation and wearing a mask to hide all my trauma from normal people.

Same :( I gradually stopped spending all my time online and tried to meet more people in real life. Now I'm just isolated online and can't get back into the communities I used to care about and hurt irl when everyone eventually leaves you and you're on your own again.

I understand you OP, evena fter finding a job and living alone I still can't relate to normal people and unsure if I even want to, in fact I hate most people I've known since leaving hikkidom because they are horrible and lack any reddeming qualities.

"Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about." This

>>142
Same, social media has killed so much of what made the internet magical to me. I hope you find refuge in various bunkers and alternets anon

>>184
Do they even exist nowadays? I have been a drifter for years, searching for a place to belong but I find nothing.

>>185
some of the fedverse sites (as in federated network, not glowing people) are kinda good. IRC can still be good if you know where to go, but its quite cliquey and people are very protective of their own little patches, wary of new ppl. i really think that the higher the barrier to entry (as in; technical knowledge) the better the community tends to be, for me personally anyway. i use discord to talk to friends from the realworld but its absolute trash, i hate the design and and the stupid little noises it makes.
People always complain that the internet that we all know is dead, but obviously it is. the wild west was never going to last forever, its just gone more self-hosted. there isn't a company on the face of this earth that would host the shit we all used to talk about circa 2005.
Seek and ye shall find dudes !

>>186
I have been seeking for years and found nothing, but thank you.

>I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial.
Do you try to fit in with society or are you actually trying to bond with people? If the former, then it's no wonder lol. Unironically be yourself and keep an open mind, but have a resolve of steel and be prepared to be treated like a weirdo by oversocialized people. You'll eventually find at least someone similar to yourself.

>>120
I dunno man, I'd love to not *have* to work, but wage society demands so. Being a NEET doesn't necessarily imply being a hikki, you know?

>>117
Yes and no. Sound like we walked fairly similar paths (also working towards my PhD and people have completely 180'd their opinions on me as a result). I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to normies but I think that works to your advantage.

What kind of PhD you working on? Something you find yourself quiet passionate about? I'm doing spider ecology with a blend of taxonomy (it's been my passion since childhood) and being super passionate about something normies don't get or understand is like crack for normies. They keep inviting me to do educational and social things (on bad days I feel like they want me to dance for them like some kind of clown, but the more and more I do it, the more and more fun I'm having) and it's building my confidence up nicely. If you feel like you have the spare energy, talk to some local volunteer groups related (even loosely) to your PhD topic and throw some educational volunteer work under your belt. It's true that we may never be able to relate to normies, but when you swim in the same waters as them enough, you'll notice that relating to them isn't the only way to interface with them. Some of them truly appreciate us oddities for what we are and want to hear what we have to say.

Don't sell yourself short eh? You made it to the PhD phase, normie or not, you've got the skills, now you just have to show them off a little!

>>186
this post inspired me to apply for a job at the NSA and join the fedverse

I cant stand being around people and I loathe my job every time i am alone and doing what i want to I am happy but between those moments I'm miserable real people irritate me i have very few friends and even some of them bother meI hate the world i hate society i am disgusted by so many things AND I HARDLY EVER HAVE THE TIME TO RELAX I HATE how difficult it is to just have some fucking paece of mind in my life I hate havng people know i exist or think about me I wish I could detach from all my conenctions relationships seclude myself far away and be alone forever even behind my back ive seen my friends laugh at me my only friends laughing at me even in front of me to my face theydisrespect my wishes No one leaves me alone and leaves me to my own devices which is ALL i want from people now but apparently that is too much to ask and i find it increasinly hard to stay calm around certain peopleI HAVE NEVER FELT SO UNHAPPYIN MY ENTIRE LIFE AS I DO NOW AROUND EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME AND I RARELY EVER FEEL GOOD ANYMORE EVeryday feels like a pointless slog and attrition warfare

>>142
i feel it too, i hate modern memes the most these days. so much stupidity yet values itself so highly, you can tell the people that make them think very highly of themselves while being utter garbage. Social media created an entire generation of entitled brats who think they are the victim or more morally righteous person. I wish I could say they'd get a heavy dose of reality coming towards them, but it seems like reality is bending to their whims. We're dealing with baby boomers 2.0 with gen Z, and its just when we thought we were out of the woodwork. They will never know just how precious some things were to people, and just desecrate without care. I am so tired of gen Z, and I was born in-between gen z and millennials. I wish I could apologize for how my gen z side destroys, but I also wish I could apologize my millennial side for not doing enough to prevent that.

>>587
>i hate modern memes
>gen [a-zA-Z]*
please stop it

>>587
I think your view is narrow minded, and involves you projecting a bit. I live in a big city, and with all the gen z people I've interacted with, whether extremely poor, suburbanite, wealthy, normie, neckbeard, violent, etc, I can say there is a strong sense of struggle resonating between all of them, besides maybe the wealthy ones. Have faith, the good ones out there I've noticed baarely use social media, or if they do stay on small independent sites/communities.

>>595
I have no malice in my heart towards gen alpha and think they are shaping up to be a much better generation than gen z

>>597
I too live in a big city, and interact with gen z daily. have many friends who are gen z, as am I a member of gen z. That doesn't mean I don't see the issues that surround the generation. In fact, a lot of my views on the generation have to deal with my lived experience with them. Also how can you just go >projecting when you don't even know me? Is one post on an imageboard venting my frustration at the overall attitude of a generation from my point of view somehow means you know my whole life story and what behaviors I'm projecting on to others? I agree its narrowminded to generalize everyone in a whole generation but that doesn't mean you can't point out problems. I also agree you find much better representatives of quality people in a generation on smaller communities. I really don't get why people bend over backwards to defend gen z. There is a mutual sense of struggle within gen z, but covering up the inherent problems of a generation or flat out ignoring the problems exist isn't going to help us. There's always been a "This younger generation sucks" mentality for every generation too, but I think there are inherent problems to gen z that can't be handwaved with that.

>>598
I don’t want anything getting in the way of my light, depressive brooding!