I thought I was the only one.
Definitely. I also got out at 24 and I was able to do and experience things I never thought were possible, only with the help of social workers and specialized residences where I was surrounded with similar people of my age. After that stint I managed to find a good job and my own place but that was the start of another purgatory for me. Not only did I take on the burden of having to fend for myself but I also lost the ability to disassociate as I did in my younger, more impressionable years. I don't regret leaving home, because let's face it, that's an absolute dead end, but I am deeply dissatisfied day to day and have been since I started living om my own. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I do feel like at least I am not totally screwed anymore but the damage has been done over many years and that can't be ignored. I am still trying to make things happen with the help of some of the aforementioned workers but it's extremely difficult to even just live. I don't know how to relax.
But although I hate the fact that I can't space out on chans any longer, I wouldn't really want to. Even when I was involved from a young age, it was a stand-in, a compromise for what I really wanted despite some good times here and there. In that way, I'd much rather pace around and bash my head into a wall than go back to that mode of living. I'd rather take a chance on real life no matter how unlikely the success. But I have to tell you, when I wake up tomorrow, and the day after, and who knows for how much longer, it will be hell.
Same :( I gradually stopped spending all my time online and tried to meet more people in real life. Now I'm just isolated online and can't get back into the communities I used to care about and hurt irl when everyone eventually leaves you and you're on your own again.
I understand you OP, evena fter finding a job and living alone I still can't relate to normal people and unsure if I even want to, in fact I hate most people I've known since leaving hikkidom because they are horrible and lack any reddeming qualities.
"Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about." This
Same, social media has killed so much of what made the internet magical to me. I hope you find refuge in various bunkers and alternets anon
Do they even exist nowadays? I have been a drifter for years, searching for a place to belong but I find nothing.
some of the fedverse sites (as in federated network, not glowing people) are kinda good. IRC can still be good if you know where to go, but its quite cliquey and people are very protective of their own little patches, wary of new ppl. i really think that the higher the barrier to entry (as in; technical knowledge) the better the community tends to be, for me personally anyway. i use discord to talk to friends from the realworld but its absolute trash, i hate the design and and the stupid little noises it makes.
People always complain that the internet that we all know is dead, but obviously it is. the wild west was never going to last forever, its just gone more self-hosted. there isn't a company on the face of this earth that would host the shit we all used to talk about circa 2005.
Seek and ye shall find dudes !
I have been seeking for years and found nothing, but thank you.
>I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial.
Do you try to fit in with society or are you actually trying to bond with people? If the former, then it's no wonder lol. Unironically be yourself and keep an open mind, but have a resolve of steel and be prepared to be treated like a weirdo by oversocialized people. You'll eventually find at least someone similar to yourself.>>120
I dunno man, I'd love to not *have* to work, but wage society demands so. Being a NEET doesn't necessarily imply being a hikki, you know?