i am an ex-hikki. i am still unemployed but i am looking for a job. i have recovered immensely after years of reclusion. now i finally go out often, socialize, i even go to parties. but in this whole time i still very rarely was able to leave the house b

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can i ever leave my house without anxieties? mari 11/12/24 (Tue) 14:05:36 No.625

i am an ex-hikki. i am still unemployed but i am looking for a job. i have recovered immensely after years of reclusion. now i finally go out often, socialize, i even go to parties.
but in this whole time i still very rarely was able to leave the house by myself. i always need someone of trust with me. i don't even go to the supermarket. i don't go to the bakery in front of my house if i'm alone.

but despite getting better, i'm falling back into hikkikomori lately. now i refuse to go out even if there's someone with me. even if i use uber. even though i have means of self defense. i won't even stand on the gate. i can't. i don't leave the house and barely leave my room. psychosis is coming back.

how do i actually recover? i feel like i was just forcing myself and pretending to be better and that has backfired now. this has started ten years ago, and i'm young. ten years is a considerable portion of my lifetime

Anonymous 11/12/24 (Tue) 22:00:19 No.626

Its difficult, but you can get used to going to the super duper mart and bakery by yourself. You just have to push yourself and have some sanity maintainance tactics. Its like taking a bath, you test the waters first and slowly get used to it through gradual exposure. Actually, going to the super duper mart is pretty easy because those places are faceless and transitory. The hard part is when you get a job or go to college and end up meeting people who know you on a day to day basis and trying not to mess that up, falling back into being a hiki or becoming paranoid schizo.

mari 11/13/24 (Wed) 09:50:21 No.627

thank youu… i feel better with that. i think you're right. i should definitely find something to regulate my emotions… i'm scared of freaking out when i find a job, too. i need to stay focused on the reason i HAVE to work… thanks!