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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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do y'all ever have trouble discerning if you are actually making progress towards being the person you want to be or if you're just spinning your wheels doing things that are good/helpful but avoiding the truely nessecary steps you need to take to change your life?

everyone around me (which admittedly aren't many) tells me that I've "come so far" and that maybe I "just need to give [myself] time" and I know I have made enormous progress in some areas but I feel like I'm avoiding the areas that will involve the most interaction with other people. in my isolation I've lost what social skills I previously had and the steps involved in obtaining the human connection that I so desperately want feels insurmountably unpleasant in comparison to passing my time alone in my shitty apartment…

I'm sorry if this was more of a rant than a question. I'm just feeling incredibly hopeless at the moment


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I've come to find I will always feel like I'm just running in place. In a lot of fields I actually am, and in some I'm even running backwards, but nonetheless I try run at the same pace time marches. Keep running.


aw, hug


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I often feel the same. When I feel less hopeless, I can tell myself that there is no shame in spinning your wheels. So long as you yourself feel like an attempt is being made it actually matters very little where progress is or isn't being made. Maybe a few more weeks of effort will reap a reward… but when it gets bad, it is hard to believe in anything at all. The only way to keep the hope alive is to keep on trying, and to keep making a push.
IMO, the best thing you can do is to think about how you can achieve sociability in stages. You need only push out of your comfort zone a little at a time to give yourself a chance, to make progress - and that too might feel like being stuck in place at first. Don't know what social skills you feel you lack, but your post is coherent and emotional, so maybe look into talking in VC online, undergoing remote therapy, or having yourself go outside with those people who are around you and get them to give you that push to interacting with people outside. I am in that latter phase right now, and am desperately hoping to be able to talk to strangers without someone else present soon.
Just a few suggestions. Disregard if I am assuming too much. Best of luck, anon. You're on the way there.


When people tell me I've come so far I assume they are just being polite. They don't want to point to obvious glaring problems so they try to talk positive but can't find anything specific to mention. It's why I hate those words becuase people are just trying to make you feel better when really they see you as a piece of shit.

I've literally failed in life. I never made friends in high school or college, I can't hold down a job and I hate leaving my home. I was fired for being too quiet. I even suck at being a weeb.

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