/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>6
>I can do it again, and so can you.

No offence, but save us from this overused motivational bullshit.

Just because YOU managed to do it, in YOUR country, at YOUR age, with YOUR background, supported by YOUR friends, it doesn't mean that it will universally work for everyone.

Once you spend enough time in the real world, the world you have isolated yourself from for years, you will understand.

>>6
>I felt the need of going back to those habits, close my social media and be a full time anon again
Are you suggesting that everyone that wants to stay anonymous on the internet is also a hikikomori, or that it's a bad thing to "close your social media"?

>>7
>No offence, but save us from this overused motivational bullshit.
I was stating what an anon said that made me feel a little better in this same imageboard, you can take it or leave it, if it helped me to hear it, it may help others even though it's not your case.

>Just because YOU managed to do it, in YOUR country, at YOUR age, with YOUR background, supported by YOUR friends, it doesn't mean that it will universally work for everyone.
>Third world shithole
>Old enough
>Background with no job or career opportunities, abusive family
>Homeless for a year and half
>2 friends
I don't think why you'd bring that up, I told you more details now because I may not be what you think, but I never suggested it'd work on everyone, perhaps you should turn down your defenses a little bit, I am just bringing my personal experience to the table and opening discussion.

>Once you spend enough time in the real world, the world you have isolated yourself from for years, you will understand.
I clearly said I have been six years in the real world, and a lot more of misfortunes happened to me, just because I decide to remain positive, even though it's hard, that doesn't mean anything of what you just said.

I think there is no need to be so hostile, do you want me to tell you the world sucks? It does, but I am not saying this is your case, or anyone elses', I am simply stating my personal experience as an individual in a situation that's worse than you seem to think, and bringing up a sentence that helped me to read.

Everyone copes with their tragedies in a different way, so you may as well let us know your experience instead of trying to treat me like some kind of privileged brat who hasn't lived anything real.


>>8
>Are you suggesting that everyone that wants to stay anonymous on the internet is also a hikikomori, or that it's a bad thing to "close your social media"?

There is literally no correlation between what I said and that, and no, in no way I am saying that, it doesn't make any sense, I was stating again what happened to me and to me only.

The purpose of this thread is to share your personal experiences, I'm not a psychologist, just someone in recovery.

>>9
>instead of trying to treat me like some kind of privileged brat

Make no mistake: what you achieved is, without doubt, amazing.

However, the original argument is still valid: it doesn't mean that just because you could do it, everyone can.

You might be living in a shithole. You might be right. Yet you still got a second chance from the society of that shithole, and now you work as a programmer.

But in a genuine shithole, where only the most privileged would ever get near a low-end white collar job, where being a bricklayer or a car washer considered to be elite jobs, people rarely get a second chance, if ever. Once they lost grip of their lives, either because of their own mistakes, or because of something outside of their control, they will be treated like garbage, and will only get kicked, spit at, and made fun of by everyone. Nobody will give them a chance.

>>10
I know there are worse places to live in, I am not saying everyone can, I am just repeated something that may help people in a similar situation.

Hell even some people who have it much better than me find this lifestyle impossible to overcome, the medicine for this type of lifestyle really isn't the same for everyone, sorry if I made it sound like it.

>>11

I understand, and I jumped to conclusions too soon.

What triggered me, again, was the "if I can do it, anyone can" line, that in the end wasn't even yours. Please understand that it is the hallmark quote of entitled brats (see attached pic). And I heard/read it so many times (previously exclusively from the abovementioned people) that it really got on my nerves.

You are clearly not one of them, you truly lost everything, but you got back on your feet nonetheless. I sincerely apologize, and I admire what you achieved.

>>12
I understand why it'd sound that way, no need to apologize, I like the idea of this board, I feel like it was missing, I know of more than a couple ubuu users who are ex-NEETs and trying to stay on that side.

I never fit any of the NEET communities because I'm disabled. But I never fit the disabled communities because I'm very reclusive and don't like their fake cheeriness.

I want to stop having to rely on benefits, I want to earn my own keep and yet I don't know how realistic that is. I have a pain condition that can flare up at a moments notice and take me from functional to passing out the pain is so severe. I manage it so that is extremely rare but there's still periods where I'm in too much pain to be of any use and I'm always and always will be unreliable.

I've looked at putting self published books together for Amazon. To try working on building a fanbase for my hobbys and getting e begging bucks for it but none of it feels within my grasp. I work at such a slow rate to manage my condition I couldn't put together enough work to compare to NEET bucks and I don't get on well with others enough to network my way into the big leagues.

I sit in an awkward position where my mind demands I be more and my body laughs in it's face and tells me to sit down before it kicks my ass. My girlfriend is really understanding on the matter and we get by with how things are, but I'm struggling to keep my head above water mentally. I want to do more than I am capable of and it eats away at you. Even being in a relationship feels bad because you have to let them down so often, and no amount of reassurance stops you feeling like an asshole for it.

>>9
I doubt you understand what a huge advantage living in a third world country can be in this scenario. You can get by on making crappy websites for people in the first world and live off of that income. Someone in the first world can't live off that sort of income, it's too low. It's the same issue with "Go do labour" has in the first world. There are third worlders who under cu first worlders because they're willing to live much lower quality lives or share houses with 10 to 20 people. As a third worlder your options to survive are much easier to find than a first worlder who has their options devalued by your success.

Someone in Europe or the USA trying to live off of web design is very unlikely to work. It's the sort of job teenagers get while going to college or stay at home mothers do to fill their time. You can do it because the first world wants it done cheaply and you don't need to pay first world bills. Square space and Wordpress have destroyed the market value of web design because any idiot can make a website easily.

Got a job at a restaurant, got a car, got some friends. Things went well. Quit that job to go to a sports bar to make more, and I'm slowly relapsing. Quit that job and got a comfy IT job where I program all day.

Somewhere in there I got a girlfriend and I've been snapping at her lately it wasn't like this before. I think secretly I want to go back to the NEET lifestyle but I know that's giving up. Life was "easier" and my mental health was much better, but there's no way I can afford bills or do anything worthwhile.

I feel even more trapped than before, losing my job is basically going to fuck me over harder.

i dunno where I'm going with this

last year, when I enrolled in college
then in january of this year I got a job and I'm currently on that shtick
I don't dislike college but being unemployed is more likable than being a wagie. or maybe my job just sucks
turns out that was the last shove I needed. now I get out of my house way more than I used to (doesn't make it less unlikeable, tho, and crowds still make me feel like I can't breathe), I hardly play video games,and even got as far as kissing a girl for the first time in my life (I'm 20 yo), so everything is peachy. I just need to start a sport, and I'd feel completely satisfied

>>6
Aged 30. Have never worked. Dropped out of life in 2012, though really never had a life. As in that was the year I dropped out of college at age 22.

I always have resented society and only do more so as I get older, ever more full of angst. I have no social life nor have had even an inkling of one for the past five years. Maybe six. Last bj 6 or five ago, last gf (as the bj was a one night stand) was 10 years ago, though there were failed platonic attempts in between.

I've been rejected from SSI several times. I have no friends. I only went to 'college' to bomb courses while also getting paid to go, until I bombed too many so the pay stopped. I've lived with the shitty parents ever since. I had not lived with them since age 11.

Implying that you are here to help people recover from not fitting into society is asinine also. Advice is for fools, opportunities only fools would not notice, ergo you could not help anyone that isn't a fool and fools don't come onto such places online until so populated that there's nothing but normalfaggots afoot. So it's very pointless. As soon as such places get populated disingenuous memes will plague the place.

I did look for work at age sixteen though, but was rejected. Once at 18 too if I recall, got a spontaneous interview from some homosexual, as in actual homosexual, middle aged man that was obese and had a porn mustache. He sensed that I wasn't into hiim so I guess that's why I never got the job then. past then I vowed to never get work that's beneath me, especially because minimum wage work is ironically more high competition than higher level work. I would never beg over and over again throughout the years of forced education just to get an entry level job, not that they'd give it to someone with my assets to begin with. By the time I dropped out with no degree, at age 22, I had no work experience and the only place I volunteered was shut down by the recession. So why would they hire me? They would not. I would not take it by such an age, some Mcdon-tier job, I would refuse. Uneducate me first, go back in time and let me act like the hooligan that deserves such a job and let me drop out at sixteen then give it to me. Further irony, this age of mine is not allowed to even have entry level work until they have at least a HS level education, and I was put into school late by my retarded parents. I end up 20 by the time I can finally get used to working. As if that would happen. 20 years old was far too long a wait. So it's only been down hill since then. By down hill, meaning less and less part of society. Less social life, less money, even plasma donations are not a possibility as my hypertension gets me booted off along with the thing getting stuck in the vein randomly. Even if plasma donations were going to let me in, it takes five hours on the bus to go back and forth to make the 20 they'd give me. That's 20 divided five times, to make it five US dollars. Less than minimum wage. I thus realize over time, time and time again, just how ridiculous the systems put in place are for me to use. Even the money I made from 18-22, foster check money for schooling, it merely made me lazy or by age 18 I might have got a job. Of course not. Because the system damned me in all ways it could. I should though, try again? Proving that it works? It does not, ergo I am not working nor ever have, ergo I will not get a job ever even if I choose to get one. It'd still not work. Nor will I. The time I sat here is proof, speaking louder than my words that it does not work. For anyone that makes it out, you betray yourself to make such an example. It virtue signals that I can make it to, when you didn't either or you'd have made it initially. You only think you made it but are a fool that tried far harder than those around you. You're a slave more than they are or you'd never have been neet. I resent you for this. A worker strike even among those never neet would be appropraite for a society as backwards as this one is, and everyone knows it to be backwards. But you prove the system works every time you become part of it. You enable it. You are the system, an agent of it. A fool.

>>22
unironically get help

>>23
I've been forced into therapy to try to get on SSI for years. No SSI happened and all it did was make me get rejected by a therapist until I got one so ditsy that I essentially just talk at her while she listens.

Therapy is a giant waste of time. I was aware of that before I went and was not proved wrong.

Anything else you'd like to spout that is of the world that I do not belong in? Advice is for fools, I already posted that, ergo your post is a low effort troll and you now get to be called what you are, a (normal)faggot.

>>22
OP here, first of all, like I said earlier to the other anon, I'm sorry I made that last sentence sound overly positive, it's just my own experience and I was only thinking about myself there, it's a recurrent issue I have.

Leaving that aside, yes, I am part of the system as a wageslave, the system may not be perfect, or even good, but I much rather be part of it than to feel like I used to when I was a NEET, and you know what? I see it as a necessary step, to maybe one day feel as far away as possible from this that you call slavery.

Even if what you say is true, those you call fools also deserve to be happy, we're human beings, what's even so bad about being normalfags or fools?

I don't know, we just live different realities, what you call betraying yourself, I call adapting, we're just different anon, there doesn't need to be any resentment.

>>25
>deserve to be happy
Leaving aside the semantics about what deserve even means, normalfaggots attack bums to make themselves feel better so that warrants my negative reaction. So do many other things normal people do. Any time I've tried to convince myself to do work of some kind rent was too high and fun things are illegal, so yeah. No thanks society. My IQ is average, my attention is low, my tendons inflame, there's no point in trying for those reasons alone without my perspective of molten hatred being added. They'd deserve it if they had a sense for charity, they don't for men. Children, elderly, women, but not men. Men created society and men have hatred of which the other humans cannot have. It's all such foolishness.

Core resentment is when if I choose to live in the woods I'd be arrested by police that are paid by tax payers. Basically you attack me. Homelessness is effectively illegal in the USA due to loitering laws, tresspassing laws, even laws against sleeping outside, and many others. Also you'd figure there'd be more micronation communities, or communes, whatever, but there are not even many attempts at such things, adding to the utter contempt that I have as it reflects how easily the rest of my peers are corrupted by the shittiest reward system imaginable. Masochistic abrahamic ethics that say enjoy it later. I am alive in time, now, not later, I shall not live my life backwards. Your sky fairy ethic ran society is a cruel joke and so is this board.

>>26
I guess you're the biggest joke here since you actually waste your time doing the same thing the people you despise do while being condescending about it.

If you don't like the board, don't post.

Well let's try to be polite to one another, despite the bumps this is a good thread, and I feel like I needed this board.

It's interesting to see a group of people who lived isolated come to different conclusions and to open up, I never talked about these specific things to anyone.

Another thing that happened to me when I started working is that I moved my hiki habits and depression to the workplace, I was a very shitty worker, procrascinated a lot, needing the money made me snap out of it, or rather, force myself to.

I don't know if this was unhealthy or not, but soon enough, I stopped feeling like it was forced, and started working normally.

>>28
I don't like anywhere online currently but it's not like I'm about to get a life out in normalfaggotland.

>>50
>positive

Not while I'm around on your dead site you faggots. If you could get a job you'd have one. Advice is for shit. Opportunities are what would get someone non-hiki.

>>54
>>33
You don't like us, we get it, now can you chill?

>>312
?

>>318
it's a good song I'm not gonna question it

>>321
Oh okay. It reminded me of someone lol.

OP here, still working, temptation is still there, sometimes I waste too much time of the day, but, I think that's normal? Anyhow I'm kinda satisfied with how my life is going, I am trying to push for personal projects, I am trying to learn a new language and my gf loves me, I absolutely prefer this inconvenient outside world, instead of being stuck in a room doing nothing smelling horrible like I was in the old days.

One thing I would like to achieve is to have a routine for sports, but I don't feel like putting the effort, I'm not overweight, but I want to feel at my best.
Though I am in general satisfied, I still think I'm very far away from what I'd wish to be.

>>324
who are you

>>324
"-vrei pula

-sunt moarta"

>>312
>>324

Laura is that you?

Oh, I wasn't aware this board existed. I'm glad it does, looks like just the place for me. I used to browse /hikki/, and /n/ before that, and now that I'm on a bumpy road to normalfaggotry, I'm pleasantly surprised Ubuu keeps offering me a place to talk about life stuff. Even though I haven't played Yume Nikki or derivatives/clones since about 2012… I'm sorry for the upcoming disorganised post. There's much I'd like to say, but I have little time.
I "graduated" from NEETdom about 4.5 years ago. I think I even posted about it on /hikki/ somewhere at some point.

Some days I wish to stay in bed, or just quit my job and live off of my savings for a while. I'm far from the best employee. My work performance is very unreliable, and I've been communicated that twice on no uncertain terms, being denied a yearly raise. That happened this year, too.

Looking back, I feel like I've mostly only continued to languish since getting the job, and am barely hanging on by a thread. When I was at my worst, I would bottle up all my emotions, being unable to tell them to anyone out of shame or because I did not want to bother them. That's the primary driver of my work performance plummeting, as that made me avoid my co-workers and resent my job for always feeling like a fraud and a disappointment to my team.

I have been working remotely almost exclusively since the pandemic began, and honestly I like that, it's nice to have peace and quiet, and do some chores on the side to keep my place tidy and comfy, but some days I've abused home office by sleeping during work hours, sometimes wasting an entire work day and causing me to panic. At least sometimes I have also worked for my job in my free time to make up for the losses.

A few months ago I forced myself to open up to my co-workers about my feelings or face being fired if I continued to avoid them and fail to do my job. It's a constant source of embarrassment telling them my doubts, fears and anxieties, and admitting my ignorance to them repeatedly, risking looking stupid when asking questions they might consider basic, but it does help me get those emotions off my chest so I can actually get to work. Now I'm on a waiting list to a psychotherapist so I can hopefully learn some strategies for better handling my emotions, or for dealing with procrastination.

I work as a software tester. I think I've told that on /hikki/ somewhere before, too. I've stuck to this one job for years and haven't changed it. The pay is low for the IT field, but still well above the median pay. I'd like to one day look for a better job, maybe finally get a degree after failing out of college a decade ago. But first I really want to develop a good work ethic. Procrastinating repeatedly makes me feel like living garbage. It's not the kind of person I want to be.

This is a video a friend sent me, it contains a great speech. Truly, persistence is the only superpower we can have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLI5VzRDb3U

On most days I stay at home. Discovering websites that allow me to order food with delivery from many different restaurants greatly facilitated that. Sometimes I'll go exercise. I like to do cardio: some jogging or walking. It's a habit that I have tried and repeatedly failed to cultivate for a decade, but it gets me moving at least once a month on average, I'd say. I have intensified the exercise lately as I'm getting on in years and wish to remain healthy for many more decades. Nowdays it's more like exercising 3 times a week. I had to move very far away from family home to work here, and I often feel too scared to explore the big city I live in. My usual walk route I discovered around the time I got here, and had stuck to it with minor variations for four years, never really straying from it, which is pretty autistic, lol. But last week I went exploring because a colleague told me about a little forest located not far away from where I live, and sure enough, I found it. It's nice. I think I have a new route now. I'll have to explore it more, especially paths through the forest, and I probably won't go there at night because it's too spooky.
Anyway, it feels good to walk or jog for about 10km, or do some calisthenics, or both, and then stretch. You can feel your health and strength gradually improve as you keep at it at least semi-regularly. I feel healthier now than ever - even more than when I was in my early 20s. It's a good feeling. Even though wounds take longer to heal than they used to.
>The body was too long

Continued from >>338
Talking to normalninjas is the hardest thing. I usually find I have nothing to say. I went to some pony conventions and was disappointed to find out repeatedly that I didn't really have much to say to anyone, even those I thought were my fellow bronies, but I'm getting used to that now. I stammer and I slur my words or mangle them, but at least through practice and repetition I've learned to smile and be more genuine and less embarrassed around strangers, though I still feel some anxiety approaching them.

There are more issues I struggle with, but I think this post is long enough as it is.

>>22
>Implying that you are here to help people recover from not fitting into society is asinine also.
I wouldn't say I'm here for that purpose. I can tell you that years ago I was a regular on Wizardchan, back when I was still allowed there by the rules, a shut-in and NEET like them, and I was hoping to help the people there out of their depression. But I did not belong. I only discovered that nothing I told them really made a difference. Now I believe those people need to want to help themselves. You can't do it for them. They must see for themselves the futility of talking to like-minded people, and the value of guidance of a trustworthy mentor figure. They must evaluate if they don't actually prefer to mooch off their parents, as it's a pretty safe life. (On some level, we all want that life, I think.) They need to take the first step to reject NEETdom.

>>339
What if you can't help yourself though? Mental illnesses can be so severe that they can't be properly treated, like schizophrenia and autism. At a certain point, people can't really be held responsible for their own self-improvement.

>>342
I mean, as long as we are able to live independently, hold a job, pay rent, etc., we are definitely responsible for ourselves. People like severe autists are unable to do that, and shouldn't be judged harshly. I can only speak from my own position: I have moved out and live alone. It's terrifying because I have no one nearby to help, and only I can take steps to improve my situation. Wizardchan and other sites seem good for providing a sense of belonging and companionship, maybe also sympathy, but browsing it did not help me at all in practical terms, in fact it only dragged me down. I don't know shit and cannot help you guys, let alone myself. I just wanted to share my experience.

I hope this is the right thread.
I've been hikki/neet for almost 7 years since graduating highschool and started finally just working at a "real job" last week. It went okay, I've always been painfully nervous around people and was never able to make friends during school, but I've never super offensive or anything at least, so I feel like nobody really hates me or anything yet hopefully. I just have to remember not to say too much all the time unless I want to make someone visibly uncomfortable. My brother was nice enough to let me work for him for two months before this so I had at least a little bit of social conditioning I guess, but everything still feels like it's just a dream. Lying about little things makes it easier to fake being likeable, andU honestly it seems like a lot of people out there are pretty insecure and stuff on their own despite being a lot more normal, so I think it's opening my eyes a little bit.
I actually couldn't make it through this whole first work week and had to call off on friday for some made up reason since I couldn't stop uncontrollably crying. Somehow I'm not stressed about possibly losing the job or not for taking a day off so early, but I hope nobody's too angry with me come monday, I don't know. I never went to college because I didn't want to be in a place where people could remember me, all I've done this whole time is pretend to be an artist or something, there's so much time I regret wasting. I've been very slowly opening up this year and I can at least finally make blog posts like this, I'm sorry if this was really autistic and boring to read through but it's actually kind of nice reading similar stories and maybe getting responses instead of just lurking all the time.
TL;DR It gets lonely really quickly in real life, especially when it also sort of feels like I'm losing part of myself in a way. It's a little late but I'm glad this place is here, I can cope while trying to get my life back.

I got a job some years ago in an office, the job isn't actually hard and i learnt the very basics of social interacton just enough so i don't behave like an alien.

I'm paid enough to get by but my work colleagues are horrible, all of them are lunatics and extremely aggressive, they all hate me and every day try to make me quit.

That's the only reason i hate going to work every day, but i'm looking for another job with better colleagues and also better pay, I still have no goals in life though.

hi ubuu,

i apologize in advance for the post itself, it might sound extremely
cringe-y to you. i never write shit like this so i can't tell very well
how it comes off as on a dead yume nikki imageboard

relatively reclusive with a short temper. i can get very angry
sometimes but otherwise i'm fine. very melancholic. i haven't really
socialized much in my life especially the past few years but had a
pretty comfortable life up until then. my parents work abroad.

i have moved back here(in my home country) about one and a half years
ago and started working and being on my own. this in sharp contrast to
what had been up until then (can't say i've had a great life but it
was comfortable by everyday standards).

lately i've been feeling very anxious and miserable to the point where
my head feels like it's closing in on itself and is about to
explode. the tipping point is the recurring almost-panic-attacks that
i've been having the past few days. i can't really imagine myself
surviving this state alone for a very long time without having a bad
breakdown or something of the sort. i've also noticed i'm increasingly
anxious being around people in general. literally anxious. to the
point where i actively avoid going out at all. my work colleagues are
alright but that's about it.

i have no (reliable) support group. i'm pretty sure this is why i feel
so miserable. but then again i can't blame anybody. you can't really
befriend somebody who spews shit and bile all the time. it feels like
a self-fulfilling cycle of shit. Then again i wasn't like this all the
time, which is why i try to hope things might get better.but maybe it
can only come from inside, from within me. I don't want to pressure
other people with my bile. maybe i should just go out more? but i don't
want to even see anyone and i don't want anyone to see me either.
it's scary. there's always a barrier of fear that scares me off from
trying to be more sociable with people.

should i try to remain here and try to open myself up a bit around
other people even if i honestly really don't feel like it and feel
like it's not a good idea and i would just get hurt further ? i could
try and be more cheerful with myself and others but it's incredibly
hard. i really feel like a good support group that isn't toxic for me
(and i tend to be more severe) would help me a lot. but i just feel
like i can't really relate to anyone and/or that it would be pointless
even to try to open up because it's scary and ultimately fake and
pointless. the anxiety is real.

alternatively i've been thinking of going back abroad to stay with my
parents (and continue working of course) long term. but my stupid
pride and arrogance doesn't think of this as an option. it feels like
giving up and choosing to remain childish, to not grow up at all, to
close myself more. at my age (27) i would feel very ashamed and like a
loser. i would be so ashamed of myself. if i can't get by and atleast
stay sane on my own at this age then when? i feel like it's sometimes
way too late for me and that i have to accept my losses. but that
would crush me. i would be such a loser. but how i'm doing now is not
well either. i am such a loser. maybe i have to just accept it.

but at the same time i feel like it would help with my mental health
to just stay with them lot so i should stop caring that much. they are
truly the only ones that can provide me with the unconditional support
that i really need to feel better in the long term and who i can
really trust and who can in a way help me move forward in life.
and i'm sure it would atleast calm down my anxiety.

i feel like there's really no benefit in being on my own at this
point, it's doing me more damage than good. too much inside my head
day in day out for months with no pleasant human contact. it's just
delusional and doing me harm to pretend that i will be fine and am
fine at this point on my own. maybe going back would help me heal a
lot more and then would be the time to open up again. but wouldn't it
be too late ? i'm 27 and almost friendless for fuck's sake. it feels
too late to start again without giving off a bad first impression.

i would feel much better if id have much more confidence in myself but
i can't really point to anything that's of any worth to me. i would
feel much better if i felt like i could handle this. the best outcome
would be to stay here and keep going with confidence. though i have no
hope. i wish i could forgive myself but i really can't. i wish i
could. what could i do to prop my own self up and trust myself with no
outside support? i'm so disgusting and pathetic.

>>6

I'm a hiki of 5 years looking to escape this life soon. Thank you for sharing your experiences, they're certainly inspiring. I'm sorry you got dogpiled by other ill-intended anons. We're meant to be helping each other up so that was really depressing to read.

>>397
I was also a hiki for 5 years right out of highschool! I just want you to know that you can do it! Sorry if this is oversharing but it took me 4 attempts and 2 involuntary psych ward trips to finally get things going but for 2 years i've been living away from home going to uni, socializing, etc. There is something on the other side of the barriers built around you I promise. It does get better just stick with it and know that even if you feel alone you are not the first or last person to live this way, many people before you have succeeded and you can too

also I just wanted to say that it's very reassuring to hear that im not the only one who has depressive episodes and urges to just stay in bed some days or quit and relax for a while. reality is not so forgiving but i dont think i would have it any other way

>>400
I got a job over 10 years ago and I still have the same mindset from when I was a full blown hikki, in fact I still do the same when work is over, lock myself in my house and never talk to anybody even on weekends, but at least I have money now.

>>431
hell yeah, thats the real shit
be a normie at work, be reclusive at home.
at least i dont have to worry about what will happen once im too old to work now.

>>399
I'm a hikki of 8 years.. roughly how did you manage to make it into a uni? I think academia is the only thing I can picture myself in and slice of life anime makes school seem fun but at this point it's very hopeless given that I did poorly in highschool and I'm past a lot of random "under 25" government benefits

>>463

Not the same guy but try for a community college and do your basics, at best you may need to pass some exams to reach placement and if you do bad you start on courses to level yourself.

Past that just try and hit good grades for a decent scholarship, pretty sure some are given by the institution, depends, but they may cover 100% of your tuition in the best of cases. From there on you can decide to either stay for a tech degree, or transfer your credits to a university (a state uni might be the best shot here, nothing too fancy unless you manage to score extremely good grades and get many referrals).

It's so reassuring to know that others managed to escape this hell and now lead normal (albeit, not perfect, but who does? nobody) lives. I'm trying my hardest to not fall back into my previous ways, and I'm making slow but steady progress. Switched from a part time job to a full time job doing overtime (I finally make real money, and it keeps me from staying at home in self pity). Planning on going back to uni to become an engineer, so I'm studying and taking care of my body while working in the months before it starts again, to be able to keep up with it all and possibly be at the top my class (would be hard, but I once was classified "gifted" as a child a long time ago, and I believe it's possible if I give it my hardest). My brother is 20 years old and well on his way to become an engineer, he's probably th eonly friend I still have (as others all drifted away, after either starting their lives or leaving this shitty city). He told me that he believes I can turn things around, and once I do, we'll both start something cool together, like make our own video game or start a business in a different country. He's going to graduate from one of the best engineering schools in my country, yet after years talking to him he told me I was one of the smartest people he knew (I think he might have meant educated, because yes, when you spend years as a NEET, you learn a lot of things passively). It makes me feel like time is never wasted really. I try to look at life on the long run, and honestly, it doesn't seem like anyone who's like 80 with a good career would give a shit whether they started at 25 or 29.

>>463
You start in advance. You take better care of your health, eat better, all that shit that makes your body function better (hence brain). You get used to studying long hours and learn how to actually study and take notes months before entering. If you do that, I don't think you can't do good, unless you actively sabotage yourself. I was shit in highschool too (unattendance, was never at school either walking around in town or at home playing video game, yet somehow passed) but it doesn't really mean shit. For a lot of people the transition from high school to college is what made them start taking it seriously, and honestly the gap to make up for isn't huge. Don't know how you're doing, but good luck.

Made this all sound very positive, but I figured a while ago, if you're going to keep on living, you have to play existence's game and be cheerful about it, instead of realist, otherwise you're simply decaying away slowly, to eventually go back to being a NEET, then a hobo, then dead, because the universe is completely indifferent to our inaction and inner turmoil, no matter how great, no matter how painful.

>>538
Not that anon, but general health is where I am weakest and is definitely holding me back. I eat very badly right now, don't drink enough water, and I can tell how it's affecting my general functioning and my studying. Last year I was eating really good for a while, and could feel the difference, but it's so easy to fall off. Fall off it -> less energy -> make crap food in the microwave that's faster and easier -> less energy……. on top of that, I never exercise, even though I have weights/a treadmill. I need to muster up the discipline, but it's hard when I feel wiped out from studying and other responsibilities.

The studying is actually going well, though, so there's that. I'm feeling hopeful for my future, with multiple viable paths to get to what I want to do. It's just so overwhelming. I also don't know if I can really truly be normal when I feel like I never was a functional person (bad mental illness/chronic pain since I was a kid) and sometimes it feels like I'm lying to myself by even chasing after getting a 'career' as if I could even maintain it. I have to try though.

I don't feel it's any better, but then again I'm only on the first rung which is community college.

>>463
Not any of those other anons but school can be taken at whatever level you want. I started only doing one class, just to get out of the house. I found it was easiest if I am actually interested in the material so give some thought to your major (and make sure it will profitable after college). I would also suggest going to a community college for the first couple of years to get the boring general classes out of the way and get used to studying/ the flow. I would also recommend looking into financial aid. That combined with online classes (at my school there are more than you would think since covid) and you can easily take half to more online with some planning. Just take it one semester at a time and don't worry about how long it takes as long as you can support it (or can get financial aid). I got paid for going to school most semesters and eventually took out loans when I needed more, only government ones but I am seeing it as an investment in myself.

>>544
>and make sure it will profitable after college
That just kills any desire I have to continue. Soulless STEM jobs are the only ones that make any money.

I finally got my first white collar job at age 29 after years of very slow NEET recovery and relapse since I was around 14. I'm making more money than I ever have in my entire life (still below average wage) but its pretty hard to cope… I feel so alienated from all the normalfags in my workplace none of them can relate to me and all of the markers of success they have met/are meeting are things I never have or will or even care to (marriage, kids, etc).

After 4 years of being a total failure I'm able to study and go to university. I still struggle with motivation and social anxiety, but fixing my diet (gluten intolerance and processed food in general were totally ruining my mental and physical health) and changing my mentality (embracing life with ambition instead of rationalizing all my fear and hate) gave me enough clarity and resilience to avoid paralysis and work on my other problems. All situations are different, but I think that everyone with these problems should try to focus on a big energy drain that can be fixed without years on effort, and on creating an affirmative mentality. Life can be beautiful if one accepts all its suffering and contradictions.
I'd also recommend meditation and nofap; they are cliches at this point but they really work. Meditation is a training to stop reacting passively to thoughts, emotions and impulses and being able to see them in third person. And of course masturbation is a huge drain of energy and motivation that should be used on better things.

>>563
Friend, call on Jesus Christ, He'll answer. Put your faith in His death, burial, and resurrection on the third day,and you'll be forgiven of your sins, which I have been forgiven of, as well as countless others. The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God then indwells and strengthens and transforms. I suggest to not put your trust in vain things, but in God Almighty. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and can leave an email or create an account on Matrix or whatever if you'd like.

>>565
Was Jesus a NEET?

>>565
Thanks man, I have taken refuge in Vajrayana Buddhism and it really changed my life. I didn't recommend it because I asume most people here have already made up their minds regarding religion.
Once my health and vitality improved the reality of the spiritual world started becoming intuitively obvious and eventually I decided to follow a living tradition. Christianity appeals more to me culturally, but I can't accept eternalism and monotheism; in any case I think any religion is superior to atheism.

>>567
Friend, this is not (organized) religion, as in do this and do that. This is a personal relationship with the Creator God of Heaven and Earth. Look around you for example, doesn't it look like it was created by the same Designer? If in the Bible, the most popular, the most unique, historically accurate and united COLLECTION of SEVENTY books (look at the picture I posted, there is no other book like it), written by over FOURTY different authors, over A THOUSAND AND SIX HUNDRED years or possibly over TWO THOUSAND years, it is written over and over that there is one God, and in there it is prophecied and revealed the just and merciful truth that our debts were paid by God Himself in the flesh, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. If a thief for example steals, is it just for him to go unpunished because he kept all of the other laws? Of course not. Do not be deceived by the false justice of these false religions, that your good is weighed against your evil. Who can satisfy God's will when we are born with a sinful nature as is clearly seen even when you look at little children that don't need to be taught to steal and lie and be selfish? Only God Himself that came in the flesh, Jesus Christ, and lived a perfect life to take upon himself our debts by dying on the cross, being buried, and raised again on the third day, is our hope! It is a gift so simple that can be grasped by a child, just believe. If you have any more questions or would like some resources, feel free to ask.

>>565
>>568
And IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO (of course action follows faith) BUT WHAT HE DID, DOES, AND WILL DO.

Im trying to do new things instead of just rotting at the PC the whole day. Its being difficult, but i'm improving dayt by day

I'm ex-NEET of sorts for a couple of years now, been in college and close to my bachelors. Working a part time job at a grocery store too. I really hate it somedays though, especially cleaning shifts where I'm basically a janitor. I also don't get paid very well and have trouble making ends meet. Are there any part time job opportunities I can/should look for? I tried to get an internship but got turned down and I really just want to move up in life and be in a respectable field instead of just being a low wage lackey for the foreseeable future.

Hi, I'm new. I've noticed that this board is fixated on escaping NEET life through the traditional path set out in the west: go to school > get a nice degree > get an office job > (???) > success
I think this is a scam though, and the people of younger generations are waking up to this fact it since it doesn't work anymore and involves slaving yourself for product consumption and an unlikely retirement in return.
My (very rough) current plan is to work a simple job doing retail to earn a safety net that'll allow me to rent or buy a home in a remote, rural village with the goal of becoming as self sufficient as possible, eventually I'll find a way to earn a small income there for the few expenses I'd have.
Is there a reason why this alternative route isn't discussed, because I really feel modern society is a trap none of us will ever win. Plus, rural living is extremely cheap beautiful, and fulfilling from my limited experience :)

>>588
What if I follow the traditional plan but dont consoom, put mostly everything into savings and live below my means, then move out & early retire? I don't mind slaving away for the best years of my life if it means freedom somewhere down the road

This is going to get unhinged, so here we go~

>>588
I do believe The Rat Race is a scam as well. Albeit I wouldn't underestimate the value of education, be it institutional or not. You can learn stuff not (only) to get a "valuable job" but to help you understand certain topics better (be it to help others or for your own sake) and then go and request compensation from others for said specialized help. We call that entrepreneurship but I am not sure America knows that word lately…

If you are making barely enough to survive at all times, you are becoming a locked-in wagie and should consider something else. If you are earning a lot make sure to remind yourself what you actually want to do with yourself. Chances are that you are going nowhere in what you are doing thanks to factors outside of your influence. Always have an exit route, like you mentioned.

Unrelated "pro" tip: Do NOT sit on money. Saving for a tool that will allow you to start a business is okay. Sitting on money without a purpose is bad! Be ashamed of yourself. Give yourself a reason, and a great one at that! An example of that is having cash to cover 3 months of salary in case you get fired and don't have a detailed plan yet.

>>586
Kinda implies you tried a single place for an internship and got put down. This reminds me of how I landed my first work after college. I was calling and bothering people and businesses all around me until I heard about a small business in a dire need of a specific position (will go dig it up if needed but they were preparing an at the time fancy automated industrial QA instrument) they weren't announcing yet from gossip from a competitor. And I walked straight into their offices with that in mind. Got the high-rank position right away. Dumb luck I will agree.

Moral of the story: Ask anybody and everybody that looks remotely interested in hiring somebody somewhat close to what you can offer in exchange of money.

PS: The bunny at the right thought it was being smart by nibbling on the hutch. It wasn't. Got patched right away.

hey such cute rabbits! no doubt you like them very much! i'd like to look into your eyes as you watch them being killed when they grow up!(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>591
hey anon, that's kind of mean. i hope you can grow as a person!

>>592
guessing its the edgy guy going around on fg making posts about uroqsuki or whatever it was for attention

>>hey anon, that's kind of mean
mean? it's the truth. seeing my cute little rabbits killed was one of my biggest childhood trauma

>>593
Affirmative.

>>6
It's been 2 years but the last 6 months felt like I actually left the life. The reality is that it wasn't much better. I feel despair if friends don't respond to my texts, where as before I understood if it took a week to see a response in chans. Sometimes I wish I didn't meet people, because they didn't meet me in my desired state. I think I can say I'm liked at work but you know it's superficial and shallow like. Due to absorbing myself in the normie wage life I lost sight of my goals and actually lost progress. I observed how they talk bad about each other but will be friendly with you. It makes me uncomfortable, some of them will try to belittle you weirdly even though they are in worse state. I don't want to be full of deceit like them.

For me I realized that the outside is really just like the internet playground, just the realer place. I stopped being afraid of people, even low-lives don't scare me anymore(there is many in my country). And yeah, the computer is basically an escape, a petty one for me because it's really all the same here and there, both have clicks and underground scenes and all sorts of drama and you just learn to stop being afraid and deal with them. For any hikkis here, just go out and live your life, shine bright like a star.

>>540
I'm this anon. Not eating much better but marginally trying to drink more, paying attention to what I eat, even if it's not healthy just trying to get more protein so I have actual energy. I'd been exercising more but I threw my bad back out so I'm recovering from that and it's a struggle to get back into it. In good news I've finally made it to calculus, and I've made and shared some projects (and kept them up rather than nuking the account like usual). Slow progress.

>>540
i feel you anon… studying can be overwhelming, but don't conflate that with actual workload. have faith in your capacity to get shit done. speaking from experience, if you just bite the bullet, you can go way further than you realize. just put your mind to it and before you know it it's the weekend :)

>>22
If u can do uni you dont need SSI. Your just lazy

>>604
about 30% through learning calculus. Predictably, trigonometry is tripping me up, so I need to spend more time studying the identities. I haven't studied for a minute because we've been moving. We moved somewhere a bit nicer, I've been on a couple walks, I need to try to make them daily. I will do one today. I'm also cooking more and baking for my family which feels really good to contribute / make people happy.

On a side note, I'm really reluctant to continue to study because I've been really consumed by self hate for a while, and I see working/being a provider as a way to kind of, redeem or create self worth. I really feel like this is the end of the line. I am a bad person in a lot of ways and I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm in one of those periods where I seem to make a mistake every day. If I can't make up for it by succeeding at this (and continuing to succeed at it, forever, until I die) then I really feel like I'm net-negative on those around me. In some ways living like this is more comfortable. Right now, I'm a terrible failure, but I have the potential to be something else. If I fail, then all I am is a terrible failure, worse than before. I know I have to push forward because time will make that decision for me, so I have to at least try, but it's so hard to risk, I guess, the last possible shred of self worth and hope.

>>605
I think of this comment when I am struggling, thank you. It helps.

hi uboachan, I am just here to announce i will be renouncing shitposting for at least one month do stave off insanity for a little bit longer

Cutted my wrist for the first time a few hours ago, now I just want to die more

My contract is ending soon and I'm having trouble finding new work for once it ends. It's making me incredibly scared I'll fall back into being a NEET/hikki. I know its probably irrational but does anyone else get that fear?

I haven't completely recovered, but I'm still doing better than the years I was a full NEET, I'm in my mid 30's and have been very slowed getting better since my early 20's, I still feel depressed now and then and I don't have close friends other than family, but at least I can take care of myself.

>>654
I managed to get a job but now I am losing my apartment so worried about finding a new place. Wonder if this stuff ever ends or if "recovery" is just an endless road…

I have a part time job but i feel miserable working, the job is not bad but

I have a part time job but I feel miserable all the time, does anyone have some tips on how to not feel depressed at work?

Was NEET for 5 years, went through a few quick temporary jobs and a technician course before getting the current job 6 years ago at a machine shop. My NEET years were the best of my life, if only I had had the money I have today and the wisdom to take better advantage of all the free time.

I’ve been doing surprisingly well at my tasks and got my salary increased a few times. I like the job itself and don't see it as an obligation like others do. I suppose I earn more than many who've been working there for much longer. And they must suspect as much too. All of this along the fact that I don’t know how to socialise with normalfags has become a problem to some of them in there who now want to make my life more difficult.

To those who ended up getting a job, how do you deal with the normalfags at the workplace? Their constant chatter, gossip, drama, the passive aggressiveness, the little shit games?
I've been trying a obivous things but their effectiveness is not lasting. Physical training, meditation, religion, hobbies, leading my thoughts to more pleasant aspects of my life. All this helped with anxiety, but now it is violent thoughts that keep invading my mind. I don't want to quit because I've disappointed my parents enough times already.

>>683
Hey, that's great that you like your job and are good at it to that degree too. That's pretty rare in life, hold onto that.
For normies, how I have had success is to tackle them one at a time. I can't be normal myself, but you can try and shape your perception to be more "endearing weirdo" to them and that's a good spot to be in. They're not used to others letting them be passionate and ramble on about stuff, so try to find one that has an interest or niche experience that you know about and put effort into having some good conversations about it. Let them ramble and chatter at you and act really engaged and earnest in response. I have a coworker who I found out really loves seasonal shonen slop for example, now he comes to me because I'm the only one he can talk to about how cool demon slayer is or whatever and I act all impressed. The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others. "Oh anon's not a bad guy, I had a really nice conversation about [whatever niche thing] the other day…" let them work for you while you deal with what you can. This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it. I had a guy I worked closely with for months who was cold to me until I found out he was into Bigfoot, and then in the span of a single day I was suddenly like his best buddy, because I was the only one who seemed like they legitimately wanted to hear his hour long story about bigfoot footprints. Don't ask me why the fuck that worked, I don't get it either. I read Wikipedia for fun so that really helps, if you cycled through a bunch of hobbies etc that will actually be a boon here. Just keep an eye out for topics you can latch on to when they're chattering at you, find their weak point basically. One person at a time. If people are trying to play dumb shitty games with you, lean into being a weirdo and politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.

>>688
Situation is more complex than I showed on my first post. All you’re saying worked and was possible for the first couple of years, but the environment has changed.

I was in good terms with the team. Even if I have little need to talk, some normalfags just must keep their mouths running so I did find common interests with some.
There was this 50 years old with whom I couldn’t, though. Being-loud-is-funny, constant disgusting sexual/faecal comments type of guy, mentality of a stupid 12 year old. I didn’t know what to respond in face of such stupidity so I wouldn’t say anything.

With time he gathered a group of friends, forming a clique. Some I used to get along with, two I even helped on personal projects. People who used to show manners and intelligence began levelling themselves down to fit in with the 50yo. The younger ones act like fan boys of the older ones. Their opinions, tastes, behaviours are all identical to the role model in retardation.

They began pushing me to shit talk other coworkers, the company, the boss, even random strangers passing by… I wouldn’t agree and either pointed the positives or just ignored the subject.
Suddenly it was stupid that I was good at a task or hobby. But it was also ridiculous that I was bad at something else. Even if they have the same interests, qualities or flaws that I do. I confronted them, they pretended nothing was going on.

Today I'm their favourite conversation topic and have to listen to taunting whenever I pass by 2 or more of them. If they are alone and out of sight of the 50yo they act normal.

>The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others.
That was true in the beginning. The clique will report all I say or do back to the older ones so they can decide what to think of it and if it can be used against me.

>This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it.
Those who keep to themselves probably think “we are here to do our job, nothing else”. The clique agreed to hate on those first, and I got in trouble for defending them.

>politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.
I do ignore them. They aren’t getting tired, this is how they bond. Only a new target may shake them off me. Before me there were two others, actual normalfags with normal lives, interests and behaviours. They are now taking pills. There wasn’t even a clique back then, it was persistent individual conflicts. Maybe because those two were normalfags their entire lives they weren’t used to being bullied.


You sound really positive. You either have a pretty good culture in your workplace, have a tremendous power to ignore bullshit, or aren’t seeing the avalanche of shit that is heading your way. How long have you been working?

I'm more depressed than i ever felt as a neet with no money. i got a rush of adrenaline thinking about just doing it. last time i felt that was when i was looking over a bridge trying to get courage to fcking jump off it