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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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🎉🎉🎉 Happy Birthday Madotsuki! 🎉🎉🎉

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Since it's sometimes difficult to have a conversation about trying to exit the NEET lifestyle in /hikki/ without it getting derailed, I have created this new board for such conversations.

If you are trying to go back to school or get a job, or if you've exited NEETdom a while ago but are still having problems, this is now the place to talk about it.

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i read through the recent thread about getting diagnosed and it resonated with me a lot, since i am unmedicated (talking to therapist, we both agree something is wrong with my brain) and currently just a complete failure in college due to my executive dysfunction. just bombed the first test of the course, and it dawned on me that staying like this is not sustainable in the slightest (not that i was ever under the impression it was), so i want to change this while i am still just starting out, before it's too late. i have tried sheer-willpower-ing and it has not worked well at all, my brain is shockingly easy to distract.
so i'd like to ask, what are some tips/tricks/methods/whatever you find useful that helps you get things done despite having executive dysfunction?


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Counting tends to help me. Very short countdowns that are constant. So like, if I’m procrastinating I shower, sometimes I count myself to stand up, then I count again to start walking, count to turn on the shower, etc. no real pressure, just ‘three two one’ and I stand up. Doing the steps towards the actual tasks like this makes it a bit easier for me to get to the task. It isn’t foolproof though, unfortunately.


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keeping track of things seems to really help me. if theres a way you can throw all of your to-do stuff in one (or several centralized) lists it makes it easier to know what it is that needs to be done and what can be prioritized. using a personal discord server for just that has helped a lot of people i know, and goblin.tools seems like a good place to start if youre stuck on where to start on a task. >>529 is very good advice too. ive also heard "just do 5 minutes" of a thing and you'll either get engrossed in the task and just do it, or you'll have 5 minutes of work done which is better than nothing

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I thought it would be good to have a general thread about this. People who have diagnoses, how did you get them and how has it helped/hurt you? People who are undiagnosed and want to be (assuming you are fucked in the head), why and what's stopping you?
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I've also been diagnosed with both and the basic descriptions don't divulge how debilitating and exhausting they are to have, or at least OCD, to the normal person. The things I've said under the peak spell of my OCD mildly traumatized me and painted how my family saw me even if they tried to bury the hatchet or still see me as their child. And I realize now that they're probably still covertly effecting me with their secondary symptoms because I "undiagnosed" myself by totally unacknowledging it and stopped taking fucking Vyvanse which definitely contributed to my brain and physiology becoming irreversibly fucked. It never made me truly suffer as it was nothing I couldn't handle but was still heavy and gripped my actions, ADHD wasn't that bad at least in comparison unless you want to count social issues in which it too was nothing I couldn't handle too.


Sorry for the late reply. I also don't think my autism and ADHD have been that bad in comparison, because while they've still caused me huge amounts of problems, it's incomparable to the sheer level of pain and agony that OCD has put me through. It really is in its own category entirely, and nobody seems capable of understanding how horrible it actually is. It's hell on earth.

I'm sorry about your family issues, I don't have a super good relationship with my family either and a huge amount of that is OCD-related. I plan to stop taking my medication soon as well, the negative affects are far outweighing the benefits at this point.


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How did they feel from when you began to now, how long were you on them and what are you taking? I don't know what they dish out these days and didn't care to as it always leads to inner death. SSRIs or some of them are 20% fluoride so I reckon it just eases the stressed and depressed parts of your brain by killing it and further use leads to the emotional death and zombie state of mind that many users have before they come down hard and go batshit for whatever period of time. A friend of mine took Prozac for a couple months because they were so depressed they were forgetting things along the lines of how to tie their shoes, and they're really not the same anymore even after that short period of time like their personal strand of darkness has been locked up and they express their feelings in a more generic way.

In comparison ADHD meds aren't that bad but I realized retrospectively that roughly during the period I was on Vyvanse I was barely having any fucking dreams, that it's like my thoughts are topped out and I can only go so far to develop an idea, and the width of what I visualize in my head fucking shrank so there's probably not much difference between it and SSRIs. I'm beginning to ramble but if you have any questions about it feel free to ask.


My diagnoses was updated, i no longer have to fight against crazy people for food nor do I have to be chained to a bedroom in order to be sedated, i can now display agressive behavior at will as well as restrain it with enough effort, i have resumed my lenguage learning courses and started studying some online course about materials, i still feel the need to lash out sometimes but a gym was useful in quenching that need, i can't go to the gym right now so managing my anger issues have become increasingly difficult, i lost all my files countless times and i am far too jaded to download them again, so i just gave my CV to some russian mail provider, I hope this time i don't get accused of being a russian spy by the homosexual charlatans, but if i do i hope i get to fly out of here and leave this horrid country behind.


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I've been taking Zoloft for about 5 months, and it'll probably take me an additional month or two to taper off them. I only started taking them as a temporary measure to get me back on track after my OCD relapsed, but it's reached the point where the negatives far outweigh the benefits. I feel like I've been lobotomized at times, and the emotional numbness feels almost as miserable as the OCD itself does. It's been fucking up my short term memory as well; I often forget things right after I started thinking about them, kinda like what happened with your friend. I just hope the effects aren't longlasting.

I stopped taking the Vyvanse a while ago, and I probably won't be trying any other stimulants anytime soon. I feel like my OCD makes me incompatible with them.

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19 years old and i recently ditched the whole neet lifestyle and got myself a job. genuinely sucks so much and i thought it would change a lot for me but if anything it ruined my life.

my parents started making me pay rent a few months ago and since august my government income (which was around $400) has dropped down to $68 a month, absolutely nowhere near enough to pay rent.

she told me if i wanted to stay in the house i had to get a job. now i'm a cleaner at my old high school which is so embarrassing. and i feel like the kids at school stare at me and it's been pulling at my mental health

i stay up all night and play video games so i always sleep late. my shift starts at 3pm and ends at 6pm. by the time i get home it's already too late for me to want to eat, and since i've started working this has become a daily thing, where i only eat dinner on the weekends because i'm not away working

seriously want to quit this job and go back to the way i was living before, but i know it's not a healthy alternative at all… what do i do?


try and find a different job! that sounds like a fucking nightmare. there might be some programs for like welders or electricians who will train you and you can make decent money. you do have a lot of options right now and thats very scary. but sometimes you just gotta point yourself in a direction and see what happens. itll take a few tried to find a place that doesnt suck ass

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Currently undergoing possibly the biggest change of my life. I’m moving out of my current house soon without my family, and I’m moving in with a different relative. I know it’s going to be much better for me, quieter, more peaceful, in a better area and I’ll have more to myself. Plus, I’ll be getting away from who is essentially an abuser. However, my autism makes it so I’m stuck in this obligation to stay in this home, that everything will go Haywire if I leave and things need to be as they are or I don’t know, I fucking die of autism or something. That, with my added on tensions and habits of being half a hikki where I don’t leave my room much, don’t talk to my family and stay in my room online so I can ignore the fact that I’m living with someone I despise, means it’s INCREDIBLY hard to break out of the ‘if I leave this structure I fucking die’ mentality.

But, I also can’t stay here, because each day I remember more and more how this household has ruined me mentally. I need to be out and I need to be somewhere safe. My abuser has done horrible horrible things to us and around us and I can’t stand it anymore. There’s only so much ‘look at the computer and hope the paranoia doesn’t take you’ I can do before I lose it.

I don’t know, I think I just needed a rant. Anyone else struggling with this kind of change? Needing to get out but your disabilities and Hikki mentality forcing you to try to stick to routine to be safe? I’ve not been a full hikki in a few years but old habits die so so so hard. I think I need to know if and how I can cope with moving out of something that defined my life so strongly. It’s been a rough few months haha


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anon here. small update.

in about two weeks I’ll be out of here.

Despite a lot of shit going down the past couple days, I am starting to feel more safe and loved.

hopefully the move will go smoothly and I will be happy.

thank you for letting me rant


good luck.


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Op here. The move took forever, but I’m here now. Tomorrow, I’ll be out and hopefully my new life can begin. I’m nervous, but excited, somewhat feeling like I’ll finally be safe and happy. Maybe I won’t be, but it’s worth a shot.

Hope all of you are well


i hope things go well for you in this new stage in life :) something i heard from a friend is that one new years, they try to do all the kinds of things they want to do for the year (ie: read more, go to library; be healthier, go to gym etc) i think this is a great time to try that! make ur first day special :)


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that's really cool. I hope today went alright for you, you're doing something to actually change your life which is more than what most of /hikki/ can say at any point.
this wasn't the image I was looking for but it's fitting, hopefully

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I have decided on my path. Thank you internet. Thank you to everyone who helped guide me and thank you to those who showed me the error of my ways.

I deeply apologize for any actions caused untoward due to my carelessness and stupidity.


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I don't know what to say about this but i hope you manage to finally do something with your life, this comming from a guy that not only lived like this but will probably return to live like this.
Also fuck women and their tricks.

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if you go to drug/alcohol rehab you can transition to 3.1 housing which is free for six months and they'll help you get a job. it's all covered under medicaid, you don't need any income to do this, in fact no income is better. then after that you can go to a halfway house where rent is like less than $200 a month and they'll keep providing you with transportation to work n shit. in a year of doing this you can easily save up 20 grand since your expenses will be almost nonexistent. think about how much of a difference that money would make to you. all you gotta do is pretend to be an addict (and most of you probably wouldn't even be pretending)
if you got nothing better going for you, you should consider it. some places will even send a guy to pick you up from your house and take you there if you don't have a car
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OP here posting update
finished rehab a little over a week ago and am in the 3.1 house. still on blackout for a couple more weeks so i can't work yet, but there are lots of jobs available around here when i can. recently learned i can stay here up to a year, which more than doubles the amount of money i can save up for when i leave. life in the house is pretty good for the most part, although i do get depressed sometimes and i'm anxious to get to work already
i should clarify that i'm an actual alcoholic and i'm not just exploiting the system, this isn't even the first time i've been through rehab
thanks for sharing your experience anon, glad it worked out for you. i think things may be easier in my state than yours since you don't really have to deal with any bureaucracy or get proof of homelessness here, you just need medicaid and to complete the program, it's very easy


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hell yeah congrats on going thru with it and getting sober too!!! that's a huge step foward!!
I'm the same person who posted about going thru the system before, that's awesome that it's so easy in your state! have you considered applying for section 8 or other housing programs? a lot of states fast track ppl in halfway houses and similar programs… it'll make that 20k go wayy farther.
good luck on your job search!!


thank you friend. little update, i've started work, just a shitty part-time retail job, but it's easy and low-stress and i get to put basically 100% of what i earn in savings so the shit pay doesn't matter much. probably won't apply for section 8 since dealing with social services is aggravating and i try to avoid it unless i truly need it. i got a gym membership and exercise every day, my health is the best it's been in years, life is good all around. once i get a couple more checks i should be able to extrapolate how much money i'll be able to leave this place with and start planning for my future. really can't stress enough how strongly i recommend this route to anyone here who has any kind of substance issue


So I got forced out of the NEET life after people committed identity fraud on me. Place has gone to the dogs. I did everything right. Did everything that was asked by welfare and I still got fucked over for it. Ultimately at the end of the day, that’s life. It wasn’t going to be pristine perfect forever. It’d be impossible to get a job here without ID, robotics have taken over the farming industry so no chance to backpack and make money there, tech has pretty much crushed any chance of getting work. No way would anyone here give me work after all the shit that’s happened. Unless it’s something incredibly degrading. I’m basically untouchable by jobs now. I’m guessing the only jobs I could work in are either mental health related or disability related, but no way would they let me near that. I guess that’s what happens when you get cancelled. Bunch of people didn’t like the fact I was NEET for so long, bunch of people didn’t like me being driven to suicidal ideations, so they fucked me over something fierce. I’m not even sure how I’m going to get out of this. People really hate me here so I’m guessing if I die it’ll be because of public opinion and my own stupidity.

I know what it’s like to be bullied because believe me I’ve copped a fuckload of it all my life. Everywhere I go. I wasn’t even aware of what’s happening until recently. So yeah, bunch of people scammed me took me for a ride and I got the shit kicked out of me. Like serious shit. Best to stay quiet, never socialise with anyone no matter how hard they make it. I’d go live the hermit life if I could but someone will find me. They always do nowadays. If you’re a nerd like a lot of us are, the world ain’t kind to you.


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Every Hikki is secretly a cocoon. Some of our cocoons are bright yet brooding and just waiting to pop! Others are dark and gristled without much life left in them. Every cocoon can grow if left in peace long enough, though many are pushed and prodded in all the wrong ways and may never get the chance. I hope your cocoon pops uboaling, it's time to wake up if you can.


Haibane Renmei is great anime! I remember finding a fan page: https://cff.ssw.net

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Does anyone have issues with executive function? Like not being able to remember stuff, spacing out, being generally unable to get stuff done, poor hygiene, inability to focus on stuff but at the same time often hyper focusing on a single thing to the point of spacing out and being unable to ignore everything else?
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Oh yeah anon, i deal with my fair amount of forgetfulness, compulsive daydreaming.
Overall I feel that cognition has dulled.
I don't know if it's due to the fact that i'm nearing 30 of age, or due to social isolation, or maybe it's a mixture of both.

I often have to reread the same sentence multiple times to grasp its meaning.

Anyway, if you ever find a solution, don't forget to update this thread.


psych wards are abuse festivals for the unqualified to help ppl who need it. haven't known anyone who has gotten out of there with their trauma worsened or faking to be better to get out of there asap.

contact a doctor and talk about your symptomps. bring with you a notebook with a written timeline of your life with the most important emotional events with specific months. look out for, besides depression which you probably def have, derealization or dissociative disorders which might cause compulsive daydreaming because your mind might need escapism from something in your life.

look up and ask a doctor about the difference between randomly spacing out and involuntarily dissociating for no apparent reason.

autism diagnosis are given to ppl with other buried beneath issues because it's easier to label someone as an autist than a traumatized person. i talk from experience.


Could it be internet addiction? My mind is always floating off day dreaming about stuff I'm doing online. I need access to the wired everyday all the time and can't function without it. It's impossible to break free too becsuae the internet is everywhere.


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I have plenty of problems with this. My mother used to call me "the absent minded professor" when I was a kid because I consistently forgot stuff, lost stuff, left stuff sitting places, went into rooms without knowing why I was there, etc. As I got older I got it just a little more under control, but it's still pretty bad. I've self-diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which presents with poor coordination and physical ability, particularly in childhood (I couldn't hit a baseball off a tee until I was 9) and a solid ability to remember information, but a horrible working memory. It fits me perfectly.

I remember many things very well - for instance, I can easily list all Soviet premiers and party chairmen in order, including the obscure fellas between Kruschev and Brezhnev, and I can likely recall the plot beats and elements of any story I find interesting in detail, even years later. I forgot to get my parents to sign my progress reports in school about 95% of the time. I realize I can't start my car because I forgot the keys about 70% of the time. When I have to go to a new place, I usually recite the directions to myself the whole time, otherwise I will forget them. I had a phase in my teens where my parents would have to notify me that I've been showering too long, because while in there I would lose perception of time and have no idea that I had been in there for two hours.

Some stuff is definitely up with my executive function abilities. I still struggle slightly, though only slightly, with basic coordination. It might sound like ridiculous advice, but I really recommend exercise. Exercise has helped me think better and stay more sane by keeping me more in touch with my body. I only got started as a way to work out my frustrations, but it has helped me feel more real and less confused. I like these methods because I don't have to actually interact with people, and there isn't really a standard for success or failure. I run at night. Sometimes I just do wallsits and pushups and don't even leave my room. Yoga is probably a good starting place. These ideas can easily just be more overwhelming things you don't want to do, so for me, it's easiest if I just think of them as similar to a game or a movie - they're just some new bullshit I'm trying because I'm bored and miserable.

There's probably a lot more to it, but having something that keeps your attention builds up your attention. It's hard, though. I like exercise because it's almost lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


It could be. I started using computers when I was a kid and since I was a loner I'd spend all my days web surfing, using IRC, or posting on forums. Lo and behold I developed severe executive function problems and a fucked up attention span.

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What kind of goals do normal people have? A few months into a part-time job and nothing feels fundamentally different from NEETdom. I don't know what I'm supposed to be toiling over.


Normal people usually have goals related to their daily lives. A lot of them are really boring.

My advice would be to create goals for yourself at work. If you hate the job, think about what aspects of it are getting to you and try to look at them in a different way.

You can also create projects for yourself to work on. See how fast you can organize these items, try talking to at least three coworkers, bring a notebook and draw in it, etc. Make a game out of this, which will pass the time quicker.


Goals don't necessarily have anything to do with working, you may or may not work, that doesn't change your goal of becoming the greatest Minecraft youtuber in the world Anon.

…one day


>What kind of goals do normal people have? A few months into a part-time job and nothing feels fundamentally different from NEETdom. I don't know what I'm supposed to be toiling over.
Normal people have some sort of instinct that makes being a wageslave drone fun. You don't have that, I don't have it either. But having money is still necessary, so you have to adapt. Work should never feel like a good thing. Work is simply necessary


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Wonder if it's dependent on finding the right job or wageslaving will always be like this. I've been "allowing" myself new purchases with the extra money but it's a lot less gratifying than I was imagining.

I think I was expecting too much from getting a job.


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They stopped renewing my contract last month, back to NEETing. Learned that I'm really bad at juggling work, commuting, and personal interests. Can understand the people who say they don't have hobbies now. Getting older, running out of time.

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