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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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How do you even get a boyfriend or companionship?
How will I deal with the regret of never having a gf or bf.
I want to get one, but I know I'm too messed up from psychosis, BPD, autism, PTSD, and social withdrawal.
I've been NEET for 10 years and it's impossible I'll ever get a gf/bf now, I'm too fucked up and literally, everyone else is "normal".
Some guy I was talking to told me he wished he never met me and that I was sick.
How is this even fair? I only lived once and I was born in a family that fucked me up mentally.


Well, you are listing a whole lot of things holding you back but how about your redeeming qualities?
Why should anyone date you? Are you nice? Kind? Caring? Funny? Attractive? Honest? What do you have to offer?
There's gotta be something good in you.


stop labeling yourself and start being


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Run after such desires if so you wish, but always watch out for consequences in this predatory world.

Have you been not in wizchan already? lvl 20 is the point of no-return


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How do you know you're too messed up because of those mental conditions you listed? I've had partners and so have my other NEET friends, even with those conditions you've mentioned. I know several people on here have had some luck with dating as well. That isn't to brag, but to say that it's possible.

The thing is, Anon, you have to be able to love yourself to some degree to love other people. This doesn't mean you have to have overwhelming self-confidence. This means you must readjust your mindset and outlook to be one of worthiness. That you are, in fact, not only worth a relationship, but worth being cared for and happy. Again, it doesn't mean you're going to achieve immediate happiness. But it will build a stronger foundation for any kind of relationship, and will help your mental health a lot in the long run, especially with things like BPD and autism.

Even with an unstable sense of self, you don't need to be defined by labels and diagnoses alone. After all, these are just hospital billing codes in the end, not life sentences. Like that other anon said, try looking at some of your better qualities or even just a more honest examination of your personality. Godspeed, though. I hope you get your qt gril someday.


>you are, in fact, not only worth a relationship, but worth being cared for and happy
no one's entitled to anything hyuck hyuck hyuck


I said it to OP and I'll say it to you. Why aren't you entitled to kindness, at the very least respect and dignity? This is a basic tenet of self confidence, but also healing, and this is the recovery board. I can even find you some sources if you insist, but regardless, I believe OP is entitled to all of the above and so are you. Take care, anon. Sage out of politeness to OP.


This is a purely anecdotal story, but i think it might help you. I believe a lot of my mental illness stems from bullying and humiliation in my early and teenage years. It made me believe i was undeserving to even talk so people could hear me. I was so afraid of someone hearing what i was saying and starting something on me for it. I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 and GAD, and i believe the manic episodes are the bodys natural defence to extreme levels of depression. I used to self harm, ive fucked my arm up, I have nerve damage in it. I used to binge drink, I fractured my skull, eye socket and had to get a finger amputated because it got ripped off in a particularly stupid drunken incident. My stepdad is abusive, he's got violent with me multiple times, and he is extremely manipulative. I've been forcibly hospitalized multiple times. I think I might have and idea what you're going through
After all this, and only recently, I finally realised im deserving of things like basic human decency. I am maybe good enough to have someone actually like me, not love, but it's a good first step. Maybe you can too, it's just a mindset, you need to believe it for it to be true. Your thoughts create your reality, if you only think in negatives, your life will be negative. Notice I used the word believe a lot.


I don't know where else to post this. I had a big long blogpost typed up but I don't want to post it. It's too personal and too embarrassing. I don't want or expect anybody to reply to this. I'm sorry to make a stupid whiny attention whoring post like this but I have no idea what to do at all. I wish I was dead


I'm getting frustrated since we're facing the same problem. I end up asking myself "why would I want someone though?" and just do something else. Everytime I have these thoughts I realize I wasn't doing anything pertaining to my career or schedule.

I'd like to read you.


Please do post it. Don't be afraid to express yourself. I'll read it at least.


I enjoy reading stuff posted by anons, no matter how personal or attentionwhoring it is. All stories posted here are pretty relevant and interesting to read.


this is why I avoid looking for a gf now. It's too much drama, too messy, too stressful, too much responsibility. I enjoy living comfy. But I won't lie, it took a lot of effort to get here.


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i acknowledge that this is a unavoidable biological necessity of us human beings but still. how can i say it…

a disclaimer, is my first time actually answering someone so i must say that i'm kinda too logical minded to say anything but tips that might help ya in your journey(of wich i really think you can end up in a happy ending, we have the power to make decisions, this alone is enough) so, sorry if it bothers you

point 1 - as an ASD myself i now have an SO, it was kinda natural i would say, we met, we became friends and after around a year we started dating. ur problems do not make you unable to date, me and my So had problems when we met
one thing that i observed is that we both were kinda in the "same level", that's one real bottleneck. we're both kids with problems but we were trying to be better no matter what and we ended up dating partially because of that
finding people in different 'levels' is not a good idea since you'll not be compatible in the long run, even if you have lots of fun in a first moment(a chunk of online friends i had ended broken up because of that)

you'll get what you got yourself, it's a similar thing to the phrase "we are what we eat", indeed you're born in a bad place and condition but remember, we're human beings and we can do anything we want, as long as we have the hability to decide for ourselves.
That's kinda the message of No Game No Life even that it oversexualize children i fucking love this anime, because of this message and setting.

one tip that i give you is that people are essential for your journey, really. Specially when they share their side of life with you, i struggled greatly trying to live all alone but i failed, i'm not intelligent enough to do so(you must be a hardworking genius to acomplish that)
people are essential because we're people, we want to defeat our monsters to live in a society made with people for people so just like a war general we must eat the most information we can about the human condition and like a mad scientist test our hypotesis even if it means we must do "unthinkable" things for ourselves at this point in time.

even if you can't react online try getting some new friends out there, create an amino/discord/bereal/blablabla account and try socializing, one of my best social moments of my teens was trying up amino and discord, those places have very different ways to socialize
and probably much different from the conditions that gave you trauma, so get on, ask people out, even if is to tell how fun their pfp is and so on, then later escalate to the real world. Step by step you'll get over it.

with new interactions we open up the range of our paradigms, of wich we can act in more fields and have more 'thinking hats'(also a good tech is pretending to be someone you know like: "what would they do? i'll do the same this time") and then we get closer and closer to finally get over the tar pit that we were before


i'm so tired of this lonely life. every single time i think someone might actually have feelings for me, i'm proven wrong again. a girl i work with has been acting really weird towards me lately - namely, she comes up to me and gropes me randomly. it just makes me feel miserable because i know she's probably just messing around with me and creating material for her to share with her friends and laugh at later. as weird as it is, i wouldn't even mind if it was at least genuine. i just hate being nothing but someone for people to laugh at. i work 5 days a week and come home to an uncared-for house because my family is too lazy to do anything. i have to clean the rooms, do laundry, dishes, clean litter boxes, feed the cats, whatever. most of the time i can ignore it and just power through and look forward to playing a new game or something. ever since this girl has started touching me i've just felt empty and lonelier than ever. i wish she would either stop or just tell me she likes me. i don't know how to explain this better. i don't want to give too much away. sorry. i just want someone to care about me


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You explained yourself well enough, so don't worry about revealing too much.

Ultimately it might be best to "let the ship sink". There's only so much you can do here, especially regarding the situation with your family. It'll be hard, but you need to say something to everyone involved. Let your coworker know that her behavior bothers you. If it doesn't stop, report it to HR- what she's doing sounds like sexual harassment. Regarding your family members, sit down with them and have a conversation about cleaning. This shouldn't be your responsibility alone; everyone needs to contribute equally, and if they refuse to help then stop picking up after them.

There's always the option to switch jobs or move, but if you don't have those resources (and a lot of people don't) then there are other options you can try.

I guess I'm responding because I'm living with my parents and they don't make an effort to clean the house often, so I'm often left picking up the slack. They both work full time, and our home got flooded so they have an excuse not to. But it still frustrates me that it's become my responsibility. Reading this actually helped a lot:


I found that fic after playing Omori, and while it didn't solve the fact that our house is in the state it's in, it captured a lot of the frustration and misery I was feeling at the time, about my situation. So reading it was sort of cathartic in a way, if that makes sense.

Maybe I'm not the person you were hoping to get a response from, but my point is, people do care, and they are willing to help. It just depends on who you reach out to. I'm sorry you're forced to put up with all this mess, anon. Hopefully things will get better.

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