/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

I want whatever I have to be diagnosed so I can get drugs to fix it, I'm beyond thinking I can get better without them, but speaking to a psychiatrist sounds really terrible. More than that, I wouldn't know how to do it without telling my family. That's what's been stopping me so far.

Had a nervous breakdown due to what I think was HPPD, started hearing and seeing things. After about 2 months of this I went to a psychiatrist. He told me he suspected I had schizoaffective disorder and schizoid personality disorder. I stopped going before it was confirmed on paper as a diagnosis, so technically I'm not diagnosed with anything. I stopped having hallucinations so I'm not sure if I agree with the schizoaffective but I think the schizoid is spot on. I stopped going because I didn't want to keep spending money but more importantly because I was scared of it being on file that I'm a schizo.
It hurt; having to come to terms with the fact that your reality is not only not entirely real, but also contained entirely in yourself is hard. I cried about it, almost jumped off a building because of it. After a while it stopped really mattering much and now I don't even think it was a correct diagnosis so there you go. Didn't really help me all that much but being able to call myself a schizoid is comforting in a sort of depressive way.

Weird, I had a dream about this exact thing being asked on some imageboard. Well, now I'm going to savor it and answer.

I would like to get a 'tism diagonis, but last time it failed because there's an sort of an mandatory interview of your caretaker that has to take place, apparently to confirm childhood things because you can't remember them. Well, it was also an awful experience because it highlighted that there really was no one who gave a fuck about you when you were a child. I never had anyone that close in my life, so of course I couldn't get the diagnosis and they didn't accept my own memories, even though the other one tried to do so, but apparently it wasn't ok with the other one. I think for people like me who have it this hard should be some other ways, because it's pretty unfair otherwise, because not everyone has that someone who looks after you.

I don't think it ultimately matters that much to me, though. It would be just nice to have something concrete, instead of having to rely on some vague interpretations about what I consist of.

good thread. personally i used to want to get a diagnosis to prove to some specific people that my struggles are real and hopefully convince them to accept and treat me better, until i realized if they dont respect me they probably won't respect my diagnosis either, they don't care either way

I was diagnosed SUPER early with autism so while I never needed to mask or cover myself up to fit in, I was however such an easy target. Like, I was a comically easy target. That made things pretty hard in school. Plus, I went undiagnosed with adhd (still am) and ‘fucked up organ syndrome’ (diagnosed as a teenager) for YEARS so I was either flying in classes to the point where I was being yelled at for finishing the work and starting up other work or having to be escorted out of class because I was so ill. I wouldn’t say the ‘fucked up organ’ diagnosis was too helpful though, all I got was a blood test then a phone call saying ‘yeah you got fucked up organs. Don’t ask us, you could try meds to stave it off?’ yeah those meds never worked I’m off them now.

Diagnosis is such a mixed bag, I’m glad I have them since I can inform people of what’s up with me early on and get the necessary accommodations, plus extra time on my assignments is always appreciated. But multiple of my issues have no proper treatment and most of what I tried just failed, plus I can’t enter some countries so that’s cute.

get diagnosed if you want solid confirmation and access to meds that might work, that’s my view

>>441
>plus I can’t enter some countries
Seriously? Which countries block autists?

>>442
Australia can block your visa if you try to migrate there if you have an autism diagnosis lol. I think Canada had something similar but they stopped it only in 2018 if memory serves

>>444
Madness. At least it's not cool countries, unless you like spiders.

>>444
The UK and New Zealand are like this too sadly. Oceania is my ideal place too, I'd have to fake it I guess if somehow my life ever got into a place where I could move anyways.

>>446
good luck. when I was fact checking this I found a story of an autistic kid born in Australia who was at risk of being deported because his parents migrated there about ten years before. They have the reason that he would be a monetary burden or some other hateful garbage. You’d have to fake it for a LONG time. Nightmare world

if were just talking about mental health: schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), PTSD, and ADHD. honestly though i dont have a lot of faith in these diagnosis because the psychologist who did my neuropsych didnt think i have autism even though my behaviour is extremely autism/savant coded. said i had adhd and while the meds have helped a bit its still very clear i am severely autistic. my therapist also agrees i have autism (she has been seeing me for a few years.) though some of the stuff im reading in this thread makes me think it might be good after all that i dont have an autism diagnosis.

its hard to say how these disorders affect me cuz the interplay is really what gets you, especially since i have some serious physical health problems. my autism and psychosis together have created an incredibly intense internal world in my mind that is really hard to penentrate or to even work within to do normal people tasks. hence being a neet. i am still a neet currently so excuse me for posting on recovery..

>>436
Autism (ass burgers I don't like the real name it feels too medical,) PTSD, General anxiety disorder, depression, brain damage from blunt force trauma.
I'm not actually autistic in my opinion. I can look people in the eye (though it can be challenging if I don't know them) and am really empathetic and can understand people's emotions even when they themselves are not always self-aware. I do have trouble with sarcasm though.
My weird sensory symptoms like burning water in the shower at any temperature and social troubles I think come from my brain injury and being socialized as autistic in the American special education system more than from real autism. The end result is still what a lot of autistic people go through and I get along with high-functioning autistic people really well because I spent so much time in the same institutions they were shoved into. I'm a neet and introverted, but when I like someone and they break through my barrier I'm a good friend I think.

>>449
anon I mean this in the most respectful and positive way possible, but you do indeed sound very autistic. I also don’t struggle with eye contact much and I’m actually extremely empathetic to the point where shows become hard to watch for me because I’m feeling all the things the characters are feeling. I think the more autistic trait is having an extremity either way (so low empathy or super fuckoff high empathy). The sensory stuff all sounds pretty textbook though. Autism is a fuckfest mishmash of extreme traits so someone like me, a highly empathetic extroverted chatterbox is just as autistic as the guy next to me that has to speak with an iPad. The brain damage may definitely contribute, but from what I’ve seen, non autistic people could surround themselves with autism all their lives and still be as non autistic as they come. the fucking nightmare that is the spectrum.

Receiving my OCD diagnosis was genuinely the best thing to ever happen to me. Having confirmation about the thing that had been ruining my life up to that point and being able to obtain treatment for it has changed my life in ways that were inconceivable for me at the time. Finally having the freedom and the ability to do the things I've wanted to do but was previously too debilitated to be able to; it sincerely feels like a miracle, even now. People don't really understand just how crippling and traumatizing OCD is, but thanks to the therapy I received I'm a completely different person from how I was even 3 years ago. It's still an incredibly hard thing to deal with, but I've gotten so much more better than I ever would have thought possible back then.

I also have a diagnosis for autism that I received when I was 3, and just a few months ago I was diagnosed with ADHD, which explains a lot about my life as well. I'm currently taking medication for both the OCD and the ADHD, and while they haven't fixed things by themselves, they've been immensely helpful for me.

>>515
I've also been diagnosed with both and the basic descriptions don't divulge how debilitating and exhausting they are to have, or at least OCD, to the normal person. The things I've said under the peak spell of my OCD mildly traumatized me and painted how my family saw me even if they tried to bury the hatchet or still see me as their child. And I realize now that they're probably still covertly effecting me with their secondary symptoms because I "undiagnosed" myself by totally unacknowledging it and stopped taking fucking Vyvanse which definitely contributed to my brain and physiology becoming irreversibly fucked. It never made me truly suffer as it was nothing I couldn't handle but was still heavy and gripped my actions, ADHD wasn't that bad at least in comparison unless you want to count social issues in which it too was nothing I couldn't handle too.

>>516
Sorry for the late reply. I also don't think my autism and ADHD have been that bad in comparison, because while they've still caused me huge amounts of problems, it's incomparable to the sheer level of pain and agony that OCD has put me through. It really is in its own category entirely, and nobody seems capable of understanding how horrible it actually is. It's hell on earth.

I'm sorry about your family issues, I don't have a super good relationship with my family either and a huge amount of that is OCD-related. I plan to stop taking my medication soon as well, the negative affects are far outweighing the benefits at this point.

>>523
How did they feel from when you began to now, how long were you on them and what are you taking? I don't know what they dish out these days and didn't care to as it always leads to inner death. SSRIs or some of them are 20% fluoride so I reckon it just eases the stressed and depressed parts of your brain by killing it and further use leads to the emotional death and zombie state of mind that many users have before they come down hard and go batshit for whatever period of time. A friend of mine took Prozac for a couple months because they were so depressed they were forgetting things along the lines of how to tie their shoes, and they're really not the same anymore even after that short period of time like their personal strand of darkness has been locked up and they express their feelings in a more generic way.

In comparison ADHD meds aren't that bad but I realized retrospectively that roughly during the period I was on Vyvanse I was barely having any fucking dreams, that it's like my thoughts are topped out and I can only go so far to develop an idea, and the width of what I visualize in my head fucking shrank so there's probably not much difference between it and SSRIs. I'm beginning to ramble but if you have any questions about it feel free to ask.

My diagnoses was updated, i no longer have to fight against crazy people for food nor do I have to be chained to a bedroom in order to be sedated, i can now display agressive behavior at will as well as restrain it with enough effort, i have resumed my lenguage learning courses and started studying some online course about materials, i still feel the need to lash out sometimes but a gym was useful in quenching that need, i can't go to the gym right now so managing my anger issues have become increasingly difficult, i lost all my files countless times and i am far too jaded to download them again, so i just gave my CV to some russian mail provider, I hope this time i don't get accused of being a russian spy by the homosexual charlatans, but if i do i hope i get to fly out of here and leave this horrid country behind.

>>525
I've been taking Zoloft for about 5 months, and it'll probably take me an additional month or two to taper off them. I only started taking them as a temporary measure to get me back on track after my OCD relapsed, but it's reached the point where the negatives far outweigh the benefits. I feel like I've been lobotomized at times, and the emotional numbness feels almost as miserable as the OCD itself does. It's been fucking up my short term memory as well; I often forget things right after I started thinking about them, kinda like what happened with your friend. I just hope the effects aren't longlasting.

I stopped taking the Vyvanse a while ago, and I probably won't be trying any other stimulants anytime soon. I feel like my OCD makes me incompatible with them.

I'm pretty certain that I have OCD, BPD and maybe ADHD. I've tried to come out and explain to my parents about this but they were quite dismissive, and I also live in a place with poor mental health awareness so I'm not diagnosed but I wish I were.

I can manage by BPD but my OCD can be debilitating at times, and I've experienced almost every type of OCD that's there from thinking about jumping from rooftops, being afraid of urine, feces or spit, worrying if I have colon cancer, or even worrying if I were a P. An important way I cope with my OCD is by avoiding everything. Sometimes I even avoid going out. I also avoid watching anime, and sometimes even the internet, because seeing lolis trigger my POCD.

itd likely help but im scared of going to any kind of doctor or whatever. ive physical complications as well that i really probably should get checked out but i just cant bring myself to