/n/ - NEET

>>10819
What was it before? A bunch of people terrified of life sharing their thoughts and feelings, mostly fears? That's still what it is. Calm down me bruddah, all they're doing is hating on Aussies in a thread started by Aussies trying to get autismbux, that seems like a reasonable enough development to me.

>>10819
No

>>10818

Australians generally cannot fathom the idea that one can disapprove of something without seeking to make it illegal. Their solution to absolutely everything is government bans.

People are racist? Ban racism. If you disagree, you're racist.

People are getting stabbed? Ban knives. If you disagree, you're a knife criminal.

Children are drowning in pools? Ban pools. If you disagree, you want children to drown.

People are being mean? Ban people from being mean. If you disagree, you're a bully who wants people to commit suicide.

They're very, *very* politically immature.

>>10840

We aren't all like this. Mainly boomers are the ones promoting this stupid crap.

>>10819

>Ben Garrison

How can one man have so much hate?

>>8068
Let's see here…

(1) I certainly haven't kept to the writing resolution. I don't have any real excuse; perhaps I could fulfill it for the remainder of the year?
(2) I've succeeded here. I've been spending my time more constructively, at least, between reading and programming and writing occasionally.
(3) Another success here. I'm not nearly as ornery as I used to be most of the time.
(4) I'm actively working on this one at present. Honestly, I enjoy being the kind and supportive me far more than the nasty and selfish me. At the same time, I need to ensure that I don't allow others to take advantage of me or to manipulate me.
(5) I was wildly successful beyond what I expected for this one. I eliminated my emotional baggage once and for all.

Nearly everything went better than expected. I'm surprised that I managed to accomplish most of these despite having forgotten that I explicitly made them as New Year's resolutions.

I've made more resolutions in the meantime, but I won't bore you with them.

I suppose I've kept my resolution in not making a resolution, although from my post in this thread seems I made some sort of secret resolution to myself, but I don't remember what it was ._. I think I have an idea what might it but it's not important now, this is why I don't make resolutions. Other than that I'm doing and feeling a million times better than I did at the beginning of the year, I got a lot accomplished for myself. I can even talk to someone about self-improvement or hear someone talk about how their life has improved for them without literally feeling sick to my stomach, I feel so much better now. I think a healthy practice is to take all the things you've accomplished in a year and pretend those were resolutions and that you fulfill them.

>>10779
>(5) I was wildly successful beyond what I expected for this one. I eliminated my emotional baggage once and for all.

We are very happy to hear that, congratulations!

oh boy I can't wait to spend yet another year stagnating… wait, I like being girly and I like guys more than girls, and those 'femboys' look pretty good… let's do this #YOLO

>>10789
I pretty much had the same train of thought lol.

>>10790
>>10789
Given that he worded that the exact same way you did I think you may have just inspired some random shutin to follow in your path. Be proud fag, be proud.
I'm tired and lonely and like to imagine possibly having someone to talk to later on so I'm just going to leave my email here. Do with it what you will.

>>10777
I met other homeless people who were sympathetic for me and told me where good places to sleep are, as well as my one friend at the time letting me eat lunch at her place. Honestly, I was really lucky and the problem most homeless face is that they are alone and lonely, nowhere to grab to ve pulled up. I got my apartament that was legally half-mine back since mum left too, and you don't usually have apartaments laying around.

Most of the people I met during that time were nice, even the drunks. They just wanted to talk to someone. It's a very lonely life and as you said, a homeless is doomed to saty that way more often than not.

>>10782
be* stay*

>>10763
Wow. My situation is the same, word for word

I think i've had anxiety problems since I was pretty young(I remember freaking out/crying not wanting to go to kindy, so I would sit outside around the corner where noone could see me lol).

Ended up getting acne at like 11. Made everything worse. the whole gay thing didn't help, that kinda isolated me more. Then at around 15 I wondered why I even bother with everything and pretty much gave up. Not all that much has changed since then.

I go through these bursts of wanting to have a friend or two, then I end up stopping cause it's stupid and wouldn't work lol.

When I'm alone I feel less lonely than when I'm with others.
When I'm alone I feel free to be myself rather than be weighed down by the assumptions other people make about me.
When I'm alone I don't feel trapped by the seemingly impenetrable barrier of misunderstanding that exists between me and others.

Why bother?

I teared up a few times and almost started crying while I was watching 灰羽連盟。 It made me aware of emotions I hadn't felt in a long time… There were a number of scenes where it was as if Rakka and Reki were speaking for me, dealing with those painful thoughts and emotions in my stead. I think it would be worthwhile to try watching it again.

On a related note, I never would have found out about if it wasn't for that old suicide thread on this board. I want to thank whoever started that thread and mention the Haibane. I'll try not to kill myself.

I only during movies, if anything. I haven't cried over a legitimate issue for years.

>>10768
Look out! We have a badass over here

I cry whenever I finish Final Fantasy X. Even when I /KNOW/ Its coming, I cry.

>>10618
Haibanes don't get enough love.

Such an emotional anime with so many themes running through it. The pacing of it was just, perfect. If you want a somewhat similar anime in structure and plot then there's Sora no Woto, but I don't think it will hit you on as much of an emotional level as Haibane Renmei. And despite the art style, it is not K-On in the army as some say.

And the guy behind Haibane Renmei is ABe who also made other amazing anime, namely Serial Experiments Lain and Texhnolyze which are just as great when it comes to writing. Highly recommend them.

I am not sure what exactly your goals are here op, elaborate further.

I have a bit of knowledge about wild plants, but since they can vary among places it would be helpfull to tell us where about you live.

You can use wild herbs for lots of things, tea mostly but also as spices, salads and a varity of more specialised applications.

Now i assume you want to use them as drugs? However in that regard your options are likely rather limited.
Belladonna is probably the most known and common one,
It causes a sleepy state and mild hallucinations, tough if not dosed properly its lethal, i suppose you might mix a few with wine or juice.
I cant come up with other plants right now, tough you might find some, some plants are still not carefully analysed and may contain pyschotropic chemicals.
You might also find psychedelic mushrooms, tough i dont know much about mushrooms in general.

And try to be careful, a few plants are quite poisonous, lethal and non-lethal and both longterm and shortterm, so if you poison yourself it might be extremly unpleasent.

>>10727
You misunderstand friend anon. The end goal of my quest is not Redwork, I seek neither the Philosopher's Stone, nor eternal life. In retrospect, eternal life runs kinda contrary to the original goal. Rather, the goal here is to make teas and poisons out of stupid shit, and then vomit them up while testing them. (While I have an animal to test them on, I'd feel bad about my dog throwing up, especially since I'd have to clean it.) It's not about Hermeticism and the occult (per se), it's about FUN, anon, FUN.

>>10737
I live in rural New York. It's so rural here, that my neighbor made moonshine once, and my entertainment was waiting for three years for him to drink it and then vomit. I don't really want to use it for drugs as much as I don't want to be bored, and maybe learn a bit about botany and outdoorsmanship in the process. Still though, making teas by hand is something I'm pretty interested in, so yeah. Come to think of it, I suppose I ought to get some sort of field guide or handbook or something.

If you want to have a lifechanging experience with poisons, look up into making flying ointments. It's generally safer than taking the plants as tea or chewing them and yealds fewer side effects if dosed correctly, yet can still kill you if you fuck it up.

The plants one would commonly use are from the solanaceae family (datura, henbane, belladonna), opium poppy, monkshood and various roots depending on where you live, dissolved in animal fat and applied to the neck and feet/palms.

Poison (deliriant) trips are scary as balls as it is a walking dream and you will not understand you are tripping and be out of it for at least four days, and might have to go to the ER.

>>10741
sorry for the horrible grammar

>>10740
So let me get this straight, you want to experiment with wild herbs to make tea mixtures from, without knowing precisley what you are taking and with the potential risk of crapping and vomiting yourself to death at the same time?
Also you call this fun?

Well assuming this is actually the case a good start would be mint, im sure you can find water or field mint near forests or rivers, they have a very typical fragrance.
Another good plant for start would be sages as they usually have strong flavor. Should find some specimens around there for sure.

>>10634

You do realize what a group interview is right? it's where they interview multiple applicates at the same time. It beats having a one on one interview.

>>10627
>>10628
I haven't. I don't have any good reason to. Life's an adventure and even the shittier experiences can seem worthwhile. It's nice that you haven't either, though I can't help but wish you were able to enjoy life a little more

Don't you still know my email?

>>10638

they still do the one on one interviews lol. phone, group, then one on one. But in the group interviews they get you to go get a product have you have to try and "sell it". no thanks lol.

I suppose now is as good a time as time as any to reply. What is my opinion of myself… I'm an unproductive NEET and I cannot justify my consumption of resources, the only justification I have for my continued existence is that I am capable of making up for this period of unproductive consumption at some point in the future and freeing myself from this sense of guilt and obligation. But beyond that, I don't think I'm that awful, I have made progress in improving myself and taking control of (or at least responsibility for) myself and my life. I still hate myself on a base level, but I have cultivated some level of self respect. While I try not to dwell on them, I can't forget my past sins, the beginnings of getting my shit together is a fairly recent development, and I have a long way to go before I can feel like I've done more good than harm.

I try to live low impact, avoiding motor transportation, meat, and excessive waste. I volunteer occasionally. I'm healthy and I'm in decent shape, and I'm learning kung fu/wushu and I'm making slow but considerable progress. I'm also making some progress towards learning 日本語. I'm totally free of psychoactive substances, psychiatric or recreational, for a significant period for the first time in my adult life (I was medicated form age 7 to 20), so I like to believe that I am responsible for myself, my progress and my faults, and no other.

Ultimately, I really don't like myself. I regularly think about suicide and have a history of suicidalaity. While the idea of death or non-existence is appealing, I must relinquish conciousness at some point. I think the process or experience of relinquishing conciousness will be easier or less painful if I can do it with some level of dignity, with minimal regret and a sense that at the very least, the aggregate of my presence and actions did not make things worse. All of the progress that I have made is to this end.

I do not love myself. I'm fucked up and I have a lot of shit, my heart and my soul are ultimately toxic. It's been that way since childhood, possibly from the beginning. I don't know if I will ever be able to love myself. For a while I thought I was unlovable, but I no longer believe that. I have a had of couple of people love me. But ultimately because I am unable to love myself, I was unable to truly reciprocate that love. As a result of that, exposing them to the toxicity of my heart and soul, and my own stupid actions, I hurt them. Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I hate myself.
Given enough time alone, I love myself.
I never get enough time alone.

>>9740
What do you mean by "normalfag"? I meant someone without serious psychological problems, a couple friends and a job/studying.

It's called empathy, some are more capable than others.

>>9741
>someone without serious psychological problems, a couple friends and a job/studying.
That's what I meant too, but the concept of what makes someone a normie goes far beyond that. There becomes a point where empathy is impossible, where the divide between a person and others is too wide to build a bridge. A point of no return.

>>9742
Therefore the "some are more capable". It is not common, but it is possible. Most of the people in my immediate surroundings are normal, and I have receoved warmth and support from them, even though I am useless and probably very strange to them.

Look for people with similar interests as yourself, you like touhou right? join some form of touhou group/IRC or whatever.

I gave up contacting my high school "friends" long ago, they were more acquaintances anyway and we had nothing in common (I would just fain interest in sports or whatever they were into).

I was honestly happier alone, and as the years have gone by I eventually met a handful of people I can call real friends. But that wouldn't have happened if I didn't put myself out there and avoided people.

>>9594
Do you want friends IRL or online?

I can't touch on the IRL aspect, as I don't leave my home very often, but I have made a few online friends. The easiest way to meet people is to look for (normally off-topic) "social" threads on your imageboard of choice. Just last week I got 12 email contacts from posting in a thread on /jp/. Make sure to state some of your interests, so that you don't get people emailing you that have nothing in common with yourself.

I know a lot of people like to use Skype, but I'm too shy to do any VoIP stuff. Text is more comforting anyways.

Feel free to email me if you like anime, music, public transportation, tea, food, video games, Touhou, and/or taking it easy!

>They don't realize that that's a terribly unfulfilling goal; they'll have plenty of money, sure, but what on Earth will they do with all of it, and will they find their work interesting or pleasant?

Only someone who never had lots of money could say that. Being rich is awesome and yes, money can buy pretty much anything. They won't nuy love, but that's because love doesn't exist.

>>10569
So egdy I almost cut myself by reading your post.

You can buy things that make your life comfortable,but you can't buy genuine affection, fulfillment, accomplishment and knowledge, without which your life becomes very bland.

>>10569
>I have not experienced x
>therefore x doesn't exist

I can confirm that love exists, and that it can be amazing, safe and fulfilling and destructive and hollowing, just like the cheesy songs tell you.

I can also confirm, as someone who was once homeless and habitually starving, and now in a secure infinite money to you position, having money, regarding your feelings and mental state in the long run, doesn't change a damn thing.

>>10569
It's true that, up to a point, people with more money live a happier – or, more accurately, a less stressful – existence than people who don't, since the former group doesn't have to worry about not being able to afford food or pay bills. The state of having money in and of itself, however, doesn't mean that your life will be fulfilling. Sure, you can satisfy any impulse that may streak through your mind, but the enjoyment derived from that would be shallow and fleeting; it'd be like trying to maintain a fire to warm your house using only pine needles.

You also have to consider how satisfying your job is. Even if it pays handsomely, a job can still be boring and nigh-purposeless, and you'd have to sit and endure that dullness week after week in order to maintain the flow of cash required by your "awesome" lifestyle. Moreover, if you were to take genuine pleasure in your work, then you'd already have a certain level of gratification from that alone, thus calling into question the need for large sums of cash to feel content with your position in life.

Another point for contemplation is what sort of social life you'd have in this wealth-flaunting joyride of a way of living. That is, you'd have a difficult time making friends who take an interest in you and care about you as a person, as you'll be mobbed with people looking to get a cut of or to exploit the mounds of moolah you're throwing all over the place. My intuition is that someone living like that would be terribly lonely, as they'd have little to no honest company amidst the swarm of writhing, thirsty leeches enveloping them.

As far as love is concerned, it seems to me that it does indeed exist, although I can't give any tangible evidence outside of my observation of couples that vocally express their love to one another (and who stay loyal in their marriages, to the tune of several decades of being together). My guess is that you'd have a tremendously frustrating time finding someone who loved you and not your money; so, no, money can't buy love, and in fact would actually serve as a hindrance to its development.

Rich person who has sex on the reg: Yeah, sure i get to tap dat but sometimes I feel this sort of inexplicable esoteric sadness which cannot be fulfilled with thousands of dollars or lots of hot passionate sex. Honestly, cumming inside of someone and making out with them and having enough money to have Andrew Hussie make my fantroll come to life, that kinda stuff does not satisfy me at all.

Le me, 50 years old and still a kissless virg: Wow, this person feels feels that cant be explained by logic. Now I don't feel so bad about being kissless virgdren or worrying about cash money

>>10489
Looks matter for everyone, it's simple: The better you look, the better you are treated, in general. Unless you have a terribly twisted personality, you are much more approachable, and people see you as more human.

I personally think I'm beautiful. How? I think of other people who are uglier than me. Thats basically the only thing keeping me alive right now.

>Do any of you have a problem coping with your physical appearance?
Yeah and no.
I've been told I could model a bit throughout my life, so I don't think I'm ugly, but I also think I'm ugly, and that people only say that to make me shut up.

idgaf

Im handsome and i hate myself for it, i should be ugly so that i look like my personality.
I thought about burning my face with acid or something.
Ofcourse i wouldnt do it simply because its pointless anyway.
It would also make people not try to motivate me, it should be obvious to them that im not good.