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/n/ - NEET

Advice / Social / Basement
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Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

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I cant help wonder how people manage to make friends, normal people that is.
I went out drinking in a few bars, yet everyone there seems to already have friends and be with them.
Its such a waste going out and pretending to talk to friends on the phone.
How could it be expected to meet someone at such places?
You dont want to come up as intruding or creepy, so how do people somehow approach one another?
Not knowing what to say is also a thing for me, but thats a different matter.

I just dont get it.
Stupid spam filter wouldnt let me post.
25 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Time and place, that's it. Finding someone close to you is just luck.


>Maybe I should talk about myself a bit?

Yes, you should. Make sure it's relevant to the discussion you're already having, or something that the person you're talking to can respond to or relate to. Talk about small things that happened to you through the day, and your thoughts following them. Share interesting things that you learned or saw. Talk about other stuff if you are asked. If you don't talk about yourself enough, people can't properly get to know you, therefore can't really form bonds with you.

> I'm fairly attractive if anything in terms of looks

Looks are not very important in terms of friendships; and you honestly don't want to hang out on people who care about looks so much they decide whether to hang out with someone or not based on them. It's a good thing to not repulse people with your appearance and it gives you more chances to start talking to people, but actually creating and maintaining a friendship doesn't depend on how you look at all.


>Yes, you should.
Didn't want to make it seem as if I don't talk at all, if I have stories to tell/something I want to share I'll say it; I just wont go out of my way to talk if I don't really want to. I'm perfectly fine with silence, and it's comfy to me, but I think other people probably want to be talking or listening constantly.

>Looks are not very important in terms of friendships

True, however I can sense that some people are more timid/intimiated(?) around me because they seem to think that I care about how they look or whatever, and it's kind of upsetting that they won't feel comfortable around you unless they really know you. But most would be pushed away by their insecurities before that happens (I presume?).


You don't seem to be doing anything wrong, then. It is really hard to find people who also appreciate silence, but once you do, it's fucking great. Try to find people who share that quality with you and there won't be awkwardness.

>I can sense that some people are more timid/intimiated(?) around me because they seem to think that I care about how they look or whatever

Are you sure this s because of how you look? Has anyone specifically told you that? People tend to be shy/timid/reserved around those they don't know well in general.


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>Are you sure this is because of how you look?
It was only like this with a few people, generally guys who were less social. One guy that I spent a good amount of time with told me that it was as if he was with a girl because I "look feminine". I've had a couple other people tell me this as well.

I've given up on trying/going out of my way to help people, I'm fine being by myself so the only thing that I have to do is suppress the want to be with people, as I'm generally super happy being with myself save the random occasion.

I've started taking myself on dates/hanging out with myself like one would with friends. That way I can experience all the thing I want to without having to deal without having to spend time with people that don't appreciate me, as I realized that at some point, it was engrained within me that it was "strange" to do these things without friends.At first it kind of seemed strange, but it's extremely tranquil now and it makes me happy.

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Hello /n/.
I have a problem which I can't deal with myself. Most of the time I get anxious and afraid when people are around. I can't eat in a public place, sometimes I can't go to a party with friends and I can't even get into college because of my fear. Have someone experienced this ? How are you dealing with it?


I have pretty bad social anxiety. So bad that I no longer have any friends, it made me drop out of school and going to crowded places gives me panic attacks.

I honestly don't know what to tell you. It's something that can only be fixed by addressing the underlying cause, and maybe with medication. So if it's so bad it impairs your ability to function, seek professional help.

Something that I found helps is focusing on things outside your head. Kind of actively narrating everything you see, like you were a radio host or a sports caster. "Hey, I am passing this building. It's 5 floors tall and its' windows have a pretty intricate wooden lining. There are two windows on the second floor that have nearly identical curtains" so on and so forth. This helps with obsessive thoughts in general. The last time I had suicidal thoughts I made myself feel cold so I could focus on the cold until it passed.


>Something that I found helps is focusing on things outside your head. Kind of actively narrating everything you see, like you were a radio host or a sports caster. "Hey, I am passing this building. It's 5 floors tall and its' windows have a pretty intricate wooden lining.
I'm not sure this will work for me at all. It will feel like i've totally lost my mind.


The trick is not thinking about what you feel at all. If you come back to your head and think "oh god why am I feeling this way, what the fuck am I doing" it's definitely not going to work.

Secondly - there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are a bit mad. Some wiring in your head is off. No big deal. It's all about how you handle it.

I remembered a couple other things my psychologist told me about anxiety, that might be useful to you. First of all, the reason it's happening is because your sympathetic system is misfiring. One way to fix it is, get into a situation or place that is uncomfortable to you [ex: go to a mall] and stay there for at least 40 minutes. Agonizing, I know. There is an "adaptation" period that you have to go through, and in that time, your primitive brain realizes that isn't not in danger and the feeling goes away. The more often you repeat and stay through the adaptation period, the lower your anxiety is the next time you are in the same situation.

Breathing exercises can work as a quick fix, too. Breathing in deeply, counting to 5, then breathing out and counting to 5 again is what I do.


Something I learned in DBT therapy, which will undoubtedly help you, is that you should observe your feeling and tell yourself "I am feeling depressed/anxious". This reduces these strong and difficult emotions a little, and over time, with practice, you may manage to bring them to an acceptable level. I suggest you look at Dialectical Behavior Therapy, speak with a therapist, and most importantly don't stop going to public places. Exposure is very important.
Good luck anon. I'm cheering from you, from this other side of the ineternet!


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>How are you dealing with it?
I'm not (not very well, anyway). Personally, I have trouble even making a phone call. It's ruined a lot of potential friendships (or at least chances at human interaction) for me, both within and outside of my family. While I can't claim my family quite "hates" me, it certainly has alienated me from them and prevented me from doing a lot of things on my own.

The only times I've ever "satisfactorily" handled a social situation were times when I was able to convince myself that what was happening wasn't actually happening, that I wasn't actually there, and that the people and things around me weren't real—as if I was dreaming, and nothing bad that happened would matter because I would eventually wake up safe in my bed.

It's not easy to do and I'm not sure it's a very healthy solution, but you could try it.

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i don't want to be a neet.

i actively try to get a job and better myself and see my friends but i have so few and i haven't gotten a job in 2 years applications worth. but nope. here i am. smoking dope everyday and fucking posting here. ugh.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


quit smoking dope.
it's incredibly obvious to everyone when you're stoned or even if you smoke regularly and then dont for a few days. you're still out of it days later. employers dont want drugos. but if you really must, try going for a ADD/ADHD diagnosis so they'll give you ritalin/dexies so at least you'll seem awake. helps with the social anxiety and can answer questions in the proper response time.



I have to agree. Try to quit that stuff.

Keep your head up. Good luck!


Same here. Being NEET is the worst. I'm 24 and never had a job. Don't know what to do to get one and the older I get the less attractive I am to an employer. I have no education or anything. I can't even study now because I failed uni hard so can't get a student loan.

I hate the thought of meeting an old classmate or friend and have to talk about our occupations.

I can't even join the military because I'm so worthless.


Why don't you become a guild master again? That seemed to make you happy.



There is no automatic win for interviews, but there are some things to do that bolster your chances. A few of these are obvious, some of these people don't really think about I've come to learn.

- Are you clean shaven? Is it relevant to the job you're applying for (e.g office job - clean shaven, construction work - acceptable but kempt)?
- Have you showered? Checked your nails for dirt? Brushed your teeth? Used deodorant? Appearance is extremely important. Groom yourself.
- As a follow on for the first point, does the clothing you're going to wear to the interview match the job? Generally any retail job involves smart-casual, office job smart, bartending casual and so forth. (If you're hoping to walk in and get a trial shift then and there, wear very neutral coloured clothes and closed shoes.)
- Do you have your resume, CV (cover letter) and any other required documents with you? Put them in a clean physical folder or portfolio and bring them.
- Do you know anything about the company you're working for? Though you don't need to bring it up personally, there might be questions regarding their company and how well acquainted you are from their end. Pretend to be interested.
- Have you worked out transport? From there you can make sure to be at least ten minutes early, preferably not longer than fifteen.
- Do you smoke? Don't do that an hour before the interview, at all if possible.

Make eye contact. Speak loudly enough that they'll never ask you to repeat yourself. Do not fidget. Keep your body language as open as possible without looking sloppy (Don't cross your arms if/when you sit down, keep your back and neck straight).

I think that about covers interview preparedness.

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 No.12920[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Stay-at-home spouses are not NEETs, because NEET is a social classification of people who are expected to be in school or training, but choose or forced not to. According to Wikipedia:

>In the United Kingdom, the classification comprises people aged between 16 and 24 (some 16-year-olds are still of compulsory school age); the subgroup of NEETs aged 16–18 is frequently of particular focus. In Japan, the classification comprises people aged between 15 and 34 who are unemployed, not engaged in housework, not enrolled in school or work-related training, and not seeking work.

"Some believe that Japanese NEETs include many who have rejected the accepted social model of adulthood. They are said to not actively seek full-time employment after graduation, or further training to obtain marketable job skills through the governmental Hello Work schemes. This is often portrayed as a reaction against the traditional career path of the salaryman. "

Saying you can be a househusband or housewife and be NEET is like saying a retired person can be a NEET. They are different stages of life.
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I'm not using windows so le fbi will have to le FUCK OFF


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You know that if legal issues get involved, le wizzchen will have to explain this shit, right?
If the sites closes up is all your fault for playing le edgy kids.


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That's enough fun for now. No board wars.

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Im sick of everyone here being all talk and no action.

If you post in this thread, I will personally go out of my way to help your depression and NEET ways. Just say what you need. Everyone needs help once in a while!
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>Umm… It's actually really rare I meet someone I can relate to upbringing-wise, wanna talk about stuff?

I'd be happy to, do you mean over skype or something?

Though first I should clarify that I was actually only partially homeschooled. I was put in and taken out of the mainstream education system repeatedly until the 8th grade, when I left it for good. I still know what you mean about suddenly finding out that you're both socially inept and ignorant though, as my mother sheltered me to the point that even though I went to normal school some years, I still didn't know a lot of basic things and couldn't talk to people normally. And in the years I spent in normal school I mostly just sat in a corner, in my own world, while everyone ignored me. So I never actually learned anything. Despite this, my mother constantly told me how smart and special and gifted I was, and since there was nobody to show me otherwise, I believed it until I moved away from her and saw how far behind everyone else I
actually was. So I may as well have not gone to school at all for all the good it did me.

Sorry if I made it seem like I went through the exact same thing as you. ;_;


That's fine, your story is still more relatable than it is not.
And yeah I suppose. Don't really feel like posting mine though. Got an email you can share?



alinsanalkamel@gmail.com should work.


Have fun with this one.

I'm not an academic fuck-up nor am I a NEET by choice (although I am very much a social fuck-up). I have a J.D. and an M.A. in translation (English to French, French to English, Italian to French), both from a Tier 2 university. I also have an Associate's degree in modern languages. My J.D. GPA was middling to good because of issues I'll write about later but my M.A. GPA was really, really high.

Yet I have been unemployed for 4 months now and I did accrue debt during my studies (12k$, which isn't what an American J.D. usually gets out with, much less a graduate student, thank God, but I'm not counting 10k$ student debt which I can never get rid of). My savings are almost entirely gone and I live in a bachelor pad, my bedroom is literally my kitchen. I'm quite frugal and I could live easily at minimum wage while paying down my debt, nor would I have any qualms about holding a shit-tier job in spite of my fancy degrees.

However, now I can't make the minimum payments on my debt and soon I'm gonna get harassed by apathetic at best collection agencies who won't understand that I can't pay shit if I can't find a job. I eat only because my mother does my groceries.

I literally can't find a job. Any job, I'm not even picky. I'm told I'm overqualified for the most menial shit. Sometimes I'm even told that I don't have enough experience - how am I supposed to get experience being a fucking cashier at Target if nobody will allow me to get some? Is it that difficult? I mean Jesus Christ, I've seen actual intellectually handicapped cashiers, if they can do it then how could I not? Why does it even matter if I'm overqualified or not? Sure, I could get better on paper, but if I could in practice, then I wouldn't be applying at Target, would I?

Sometimes I can get freelance translation shit that pays peanuts, but I can't get a real translation job because I don't have connections (I had no idea this domain was so rife with nepotism, I've been told to say goodbye to a good job in the domain if I don't know important people, my almost perfect trilingualism be damned). I don't have my bar license (too fucking expensive, it's literally thievery at this point) so I can't practice law even if I have the degree. I've tried getting a job as a paralegal but in my country it absolutely takes a paralegal diploma to do it, because apparently my J.D. doesn't mean that I can research legal trivia while I've done it inPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


I've been struggling with crippling social anxiety (really heavy duty to the point where my mother had to order my Subway for me or take my appointments because I simply couldn't do it, the first time I managed to look at somebody in the eyes I was 19 and that took two years of work) as well as recurrent clinical depression (again, really heavy duty, I actually was hospitalized a few times) for all of my life and every professional I still see can't get over how much I've accomplished since I first came to them. I actually spent two weeks in the streets during my J.D., sleeping on my backpack with other hobos making sure nobody was gonna rip pages off my overpriced law books to roll a spliff (or just steal them) and going to class like nothing was up due to problems in the household, after which I realized I had to live (and most importantly, not stink) even with no work, hence the debt. Acquaintances from my J.D. still call me the "Vagrant Jurist".

I literally built everything I have from the ground up and I honestly don't think I will mentally survive if this all comes crumbling around me. I'm not medicated (too expensive even with universal health care, since my not being a student, a gov't worker, a parent or anyone that matters means that I have to pay a portion of the price) but I'm pretty knowledgeable about ethnobotany and I have a stash of a few different cheap and legal plants to help me out when it's too hard for me to bear.

However, I am nothing if not grimly tenacious. I don't like challenges and I tend to avoid them. But when challenges are forced onto me, I will bear them without grinning and usually I do manage to win. I was born literally strangled by the umbilical cord attaching me to my mother and my heart (and the oxygen flow to my brain) stopped. Obviously, I was revived, but the doctor told my mom I was going to be mentally handicapped. Nope, I'm a bright motherlover, I won't be falsely modest, I really am. I suffered every form of bullying under the sun by boys and girls alike all the way through high school because I kept telling myself I'd have a life worth living after that. That eventually came and I was happier than a pig in shit. But this life or the one outcome I can foresee? No, fuck that. For once it finally gets good, and all my efforts are wiped out because I was laid off. Not even fired, laid off because of a cut in budget.

As I said earlier, if it gets to that, I won't get back up. Nope, I'm ovPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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How long can you go without sleep, and how often do you do so?

Right now, I'm 36 hours awake and I've never felt better.
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My longest has been 8 days, it felt like I was about to die.
I've also experimented with my sleep cycle a lot, you know, polyphasic sleep and all that.
I usually sleep about 4 hours a day and pull all-nighters every now and then.



I do the same thing. It works wonders.
I'll admit I'm probably more spaced out than your average person because of it, but it's a worthy trade off for the extra time to me.


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I abhor sleep, but the longest I've gone is only around 36 hours, actually. Some day I'd like to try drugs which extend waking time. When I have a job, I sleep regularly otherwise work is misery. Without a job, I sleep as little as possible.


Bloody Nora, currently I have gone 40 hours. I'm not going to sleep either until for another 4 hours. I am struggling to do basic mathematics.

At least my new record will be 44 hours.

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Imaging now just hypothetically, just for like imagination.
What if there was some kind of neet colony where we could live and "work" almost outside from the world.

Here is my kind of image for this sort of thing.
Suppose like a large farm of sorts , somewhere desolate and quiet where we would grow plants and everyone would have to do some amount of chores from a list of things to be done to keep things running.
Profit would be distributed minus some common fee to pay for all the stuff.

Now i think there would be wifi and maybe a central storage for sharing multimedial stuff so not everyone would end up torrenting the same shit and also to organize stuff.
Everyone would get a small room with bed since i suppose space would be an issue there, but i think people would be content with that.
Maybe even a few double rooms for people who dont mind a room mate.
I guess sanitary and eating space would shared to spare some room too.
Someone would take the role of having to deal with the outside world like buying and selling stuff, but otherwise nearly anything would happen on the inside.

I guess there isnt much else to be considered.

Could you imagine living in such a way?
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It honestly depends on where the land is. In a place like montana you can get remote land for a couple thousand an acre, while in some places a quarter acre will cost 100,000 dollars.


The only place I can think of would be international waters, but I fantasize about forming some band of myself and people I like and living in a mountain or a forest, perhaps even on federal land but far out enough that we wouldn't likely be discovered.

I'd be fine with performing tasks for the sake of a group and if I liked that group and wasn't anxious about them I'd probably enjoy it, but it all depends on the group. I would absolutely loath having to perform labor daily for leeches I didn't get along with. I can only imagine it being truly liberating if I actually got along with at least most of the people in the group.

I somewhat agree with the anons that doubt whether a NEET community would work out based on the lack of ability for cohesiveness among NEETs. I think it would be necessary for the comfortable existence of a small, self-sustaining group for there to be a lot of cooperation and willingness to share work or at least get along. NEETs as they are would be one of the least likely types of people to be willing or able to fit into a community in that way.


The Idea is nice.
I don´t mind physical labour …
I just can´t see how this could work.


What you just posted minus the wifi reminds me of many tribes that still exist. In essence, again minus the wifi, is pre-industrial era living.


>inb4 moot cashes in big on the real estate market running some welfare/charity scam for NEETbux

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I wonder what kind of outdoor activites you people do in your free time?

I go out on walks sometimes short and once in a while some long ones.
Sometimes i sit down on a bench and just try relaxing.

I wish i could do something else, but i just have no ideas.
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I don't update it very often because again, I don't get to go out much, but here's a folder on my Photobucket where I upload the best of each trip:


nothing as cool as your pic on there, though


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I really should make a blog though, because Photobucket only lets you store so much data without paying actual money for a subscription. I'll post a link on /ot/ when I get around to it.


sometimes i get out with my mom, or friends, but it's not often
i'm going to get a bicycle next month i guess, i'm going to do some exercises with dad and mon every sunday i guess, i hope i don't get lazy


You could probably sell some of those to people or something. They're really good photos, man.


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How do you go about selling photos? You mean like prints?

Anyway, for the people who aren't on Skype, I set up a blog for you to follow so you can see new pictures when I come out with them (and so I could free myself of the data storage limit on Pb). There's not much on there yet, but I'll be going somewhere new within the next week or so. If you're interested:


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there's nothing to live for anymore
i hate everything about my life, i hate evrything about society, life in general
i dont want o be here anymore
i dont want to be here anymore
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bitch about it on the internet


Ah, clearly.


Im stuck in the same shit as you.
I know how crappy you must feel and how my words will have little to no effect, but remember youre not alone.

As for myself, i am writing a philosophical book, i think it helps a bit makeing heads and tails out of all this crap.
I will describe all this stupid crap that is going on in this fucked up world, its gonna end up depressive, but there are things that need airing i think.

The important thing is to keep yourself occupied.

In the end it comes down to keep hoping and suffering or decide to opt yourself.
Good luck man.






It's better than making a new thread… Well… It's better than making a new thread as long as you don't expect people who posted ages ago to respond.

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I have officially failed 3 interviews in total, NEET. I can't even get a job at Walmart. I'm simply not capable of passing an interview or possibly even holding one of those jobs for a period of time.

What do? I'm feeling more and more inadequate every day.
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You'd have to be crazy to try and make a living from writing. Maybe try applying to a local library or bookstore instead?


Its not that crazy. Newspaper/mag journalists are still a thing. You can even find jobs related to editing in factories and stuff.


I've had luck with temp agencies, I worked a bit seasonal. Sometimes the work site will hire you if they like you.

But I like my schedule to be empty so I usually dip out of a job after a couple of months.


Keep trying to get fast food and retail jobs. Eventually someone will hire you. If one place doesn't call you then keep sending in applications every month or so. If you have a interview and they don't call you after, you should call them back yourself and ask if you're hired or not after a few days.

Overnights at fast food places can be pretty chill. If you hate people I recommend trying to get on a night shift.


File: 1415175926854.jpg (Spoiler Image, 337.59 KB, 1600x1200, 1415054762575.jpg)

im not talking about a "job working site" im talking about a website thats online that i can get money from doing stuff (thanks for answering though)

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